Piety’s Descent
Serin Gbaba
My demons love me
They give me hugs and kisses every time I return to them
They coddle me with arms full of self-disgust and delight
They drown me with air heavy with joy and regret
They give me love taps that leave scars
They show me visions of my wars with myself
How did I lose a war with myself?
My demons love me
I look to them for comfort
I seek to understand how they could make me happy
I try to rationalize my love for them
I fight the urge to fall into them
I fall into them
Do I deserve this pain?
My demons love me
He said he would love me more
He said he’ll free me, if I let him in
He chained my vices, said I’d begin again
He drowned my burdens, apparently
He told me demons can’t love
Is he not listening?
I am in pain
Would my demons understand?
My demons do not love me
They connive for my soul
I should have knownHe told me before.
They said I can stop whenever but they lied
I must not wrap myself in their flimsy veil of misplaced hope
He would not let my soul be wed to my innate crusade
My underlying mission to fail
But will he lead me to heaven?
Or bring life closer to hell.