Kaur
Name: Jasdeep Kaur
Student Number: 221079421
Course Instructor: Maxine Wood
Course Name: WRIT 1700 A
Finding Resilience Through Adversity
It was a chilly November morning; the red "F" stared at me
like some kind of scarlet letter on the screen. My first university midterm
in Calculus was the very subject that I once thought
I might conquer, but it outsmarted me. At that moment, I felt so
much like an imposter, somebody who did not belong in a world of
achievers. Yet, what I later found out through
those successive months was that failure is not a stopping point; it's
a start, an invitation to grow.
This was a very surreal moment, with the discussions of my
peers' grades and their laughter slicing through my growing despair. How
could they laugh when I sat there, paralyzed with shame? For weeks
afterward, I avoided social interactions: I turned down invitations,
skipped meals with my family, and buried myself in distractions. But no
matter how hard I tried to push it away, the reality of my failure haunted
me; thus, making me question my self-worth and my ability to excel in
a challenging academic environment.
This personal moment of academic failure reflects
a greater problem that students everywhere face: the overwhelming
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pressure to succeed in an increasingly competitive academic world. For
me, this wasn't just a failing grade; it was a crack in the foundation of my
self-worth. I thought back to high school, where success came with ease.
University, I realized, was a different battlefield - one where preparation,
resilience, and adaptability mattered far more than natural ability.
This was not my fight alone. According
to statistics obtained from the Journal of Affective
Disorders, almost 30% of students in institutions of higher learning
suffer anxiety and depression, much of it linked to academic stress
(Beiter et al., 2015). It is this lesson of linking personal
experience to broader societal pressures that became clearer as I tread
my journey of recovery. I first retreated into my cocoon, abandoning
my friends and family out of shame for this failure. But all it did was
heighten my anxiety with growing isolation. It was a conversation with a
campus counselor that turned the tide. It was
in one such session that she said, "Itis not the fall but how we
rise." And within me, that seed of hope found a fertile ground.
It wasn't easy to seek help. To admit that I
needed help was to admit defeat all over again. But in that first session,
the counselor said something that stuck: "Failure isn't the opposite of
success; it's part of it". Immediately, her words reframed my experience.
For the first time, I began to see failure as an opportunity - a chance to
rebuild myself stronger than before.
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I have learned that resilience is not about erasing failure
but embracing it. I began to take small steps: joining a study group,
setting realistic goals, finding a balance between academics and selfcare. And then, bit by bit, I climbed out of the hole I'd dug for myself.
The turning point came when I aced a quiz I once dreaded. It wasn't just
the grade that mattered but the confidence it gave me. I started to believe
in my ability to rise above setbacks. More than that, I began to realize
that setbacks are part of a lifelong learning process.
As Angela Duckworth says so aptly in her book Grit: The Power
of Passion and Perseverance, "Enthusiasm is common. Endurance is
rare" (Duckworth, 2016). Her words resonated with my experience.
It was not intelligence or talent that helped me get back on my feet
but persistence - the ability to bear the discomfort of failure
and make it a steppingstone.
This greater lesson relates to every human experience:
resilience, persistence, and courage to start afresh.
Beyond my personal struggles, I started observing the pressures
around me. While my peers projected an air of confidence, they
too, were fighting their battles. One friend confided in me
about how she struggled to juggle part-time
work with academics, while another spoke about the burden of family
expectations - parents who had sacrificed so much for her education.
These conversations reminded me that resilience is not an
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individual act but a deeply collective one. We all carry invisible burdens
and sharing them makes them lighter.
This reflection process was a privileged feeling, knowing there
were resources out there that worked toward recovery. My university had
counseling, peer mentorship, and academic workshops. But what about
students who didn't have these opportunities? What about the ones
working part-time, with family obligations, or fighting systemic barriers?
My story of recovery underlines a number of inequities existing within
the system of education. While resilience is required, it cannot
compensate for the lack of structural support in overcoming systemic
challenges among students.
Classrooms and lecture halls are filled
with students who are sometimes untold stories of resilience in the face
of adversity, reflecting the systemic flaws in education and society at
large. These stories usually remain masked behind a veneer of
perfection but ought to be recognized. And if there is one thing I have
learned, it is that failure, if shared, may spur on collective growth.
My story speaks to inequities in mental health access as well. I
was privileged to have a supportive family and counseling services
available to me, but many students from marginalized
backgrounds are not so privileged. This disparity perpetuates cycles of
stress and failure, particularly among those who face additional barriers
like financial instability or systemic
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racism. Privilege reflection deepened my empathy and furthered my
commitment to advocating for equitable mental health support
in schools. How can we, as a society, ensure that every student has the
tools and support they need to succeed?
Now I know that my failure was not a personal barrier, but
a shadow of general cultural portrayals. Stereotypically, success is
fetishized, and failure is stigmatized in societies, hence setting
really unrealistic expectations. I want to break free from these
norms, and with this, I want to encourage
others by sharing my story to see their failure in the light ofopportunities
leading to growth. Resilience is something one builds brick by
brick with every fall.
I had thought that was the end of the journey on that cold
November morning, but now I understand, it was a beginning. More than
any success, this failure taught me to rise and to endure: to fight not just
for myself but for others treading similar paths. As
I proceed with my academics and personal interest, the
lessons learnt from that experience - to make failure a steppingstone
rather than an obstacle - stayed in my heart. Resilience is a muscle, if it
is, then it is developed and strengthened by mine. Of course, every
challenge in life would be the added weight that strengthens this
muscle. Moving on, I shall face the next challenge which life throws
forward, knowing that I am far stronger than ever thought.
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Works Cited
Beiter, R., Nash, R., McCrady, M., Rhoades, D., Linscomb, M., Clarahan,
M., & Sammut, S. (2015). The prevalence and correlates of depression,
anxiety, and stress in a sample of college students. Journal of Affective
Disorders, 173, 90–96.
Duckworth, A. (2016). Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance.
Scribner.
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