Conflict management
To resolve / to settle / to handle a
disagreement / a conflict
To compromise / to reach a compromise
Destructive conflict
Constructive conflict
To practice constructive conflict
resolution
To be constructive
At the heart of the conflict
A conflict situation
To contain a subject of a conflict
A resolution to a conflict
Unresolved conflict
Conflicted relationship
To infringe on the interests of the other
party
The emergence and development of a
conflict
To accumulate negative / positive
emotions
To imply a conflict
To ease a conflict
To choose an optimal behavior strategy
To bring people together
To tear people apart
To cloud the issue
To get defensive
To respond to smth with empathy
To show maturity
To cool off
A cooling off period
To stay respectful during a conflict
Heartfelt discussion
To sense tension
To offer sincere apologies
To heal the relationship
To open up
To cut off contacts
Fight or flight
To suppress feelings
To bring up the past
To bring about critical tension
To let out the tension
Mutually beneficial outcomes
To offer a perspective
To acknowledge the other person’s
perspective
A counter proposal / offer
To work towards an agreement
To concede
To make a concession
Trade off
Horse trading
Deadlock
Mediator
Mediation
To bread down negotiations
Stalemate
Impasse
Irreconcilable differences
To accept an agreement
Arbitrator
Arbitration
To impose a settlement / a resolution
Bargain
To drive a hard bargain
Discuss the following quotations:
Conflict can and should be handled constructively; when it is, relationships benefit. Conflict
avoidance is “not” the hallmark of a good relationship. On the contrary, it is a symptom of
serious problems and of poor communication.
-Harriet B. Braiker
He who fights is powerless, but he who loves is power itself.
-Eric Micha’el Leventhal
We who engage in nonviolent direct action are not the creators of tension. We merely bring to
the surface hidden tension that is already alive.
-Martin Luther King Jr.
Be quick to resolve conflicts before they mature to become wars. The energetic crocodile was
once a delicate egg!
-Israelmore Ayivor
Activity 1
Warm up
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Have you ever had a disagreement with another person?
How did you resolve that disagreement?
Were you able to compromise and settle the disagreement?
Can you recall the last conflict you had with an individual?
Did you resolve it? How was it resolved?
What happens if there is conflict at a place of employment?
How do you normally handle conflict?
What is conflict?
Conflict — a collision of different goals, interests, positions, opinions or views of the subjects of
interaction, fixed by them in a rigid form. At the heart of any conflict is a situation that includes
either conflicting positions of the parties on any occasion, or opposite goals or means of
achieving them in the given circumstances, or a mismatch of interests, desires, drives of
opponents, etc. The conflict situation, therefore, contains the subject of a possible conflict. and
its object. However, for a conflict to develop, an incident is necessary in which one of the parties
begins to act, infringing on the interests of the other party.
With a certain degree of accuracy, you can "calculate" the possible reactions of a person, both
emotional and behavioral.
Signals of personality conflict are psychophysiological and behavioral properties that influence
the emergence and development of a dispute or conflict situation.
Reasons for the contentiousness of the person hiding in his main qualities:
-intellectual,
-strong-willed,
-emotional.
Intellectual qualities include such properties as thinking, a person's knowledge about the world
and about himself, the desire for truth, views, beliefs, principles, a system of values, and a life
position.
Volitional qualities are primarily associated with the motives that encourage action, the
manifestation of oneself and one's abilities, the orientation and disposition of one's self towards
other people.
Emotional qualities include nervous excitements, experiences and feelings associated with such
moral values as kindness, duty, honor, friendship, love, etc.
The emotional background effectively signals the actualization of vital forces, the readiness of
the individual to benefit himself, others and the world as a whole, to take responsibility for his
actions before society and himself.
Do not accumulate negative emotions. Do not take an aggressive stance. Constantly return to the
topic of conversation. To clearly understand what a conflict is and how to identify it, it is
necessary to remember three main signs that must necessarily be present in it:
1. Bipolarity (opposition). This phenomenon occurs when two people defend opposite points of
view in a dispute that is interesting to both. The presence of an opposite position does not imply
a conflict, but is a prerequisite for it.
2. Activity. You have probably heard the expression "conflict is possible only with the active
participation of two parties." This is indeed the case. For the conflict to continue, both sides must
be active.
3. The presence of subjects. Conflict is not just a situation, but a form of interaction between
two subjects. Usually, the probability of a dispute escalating into a conflict depends on the
conflict (i.e., the presence of conflict thinking) of the subjects.
An important feature of conflicts is that they are rarely kept within the same species. Since
people act irrationally in conflict situations, conflict quickly flows into all areas in which people
interact. And this is one of the most important reasons for the popular recommendation that it is
undesirable to work with close relatives.
Some of these types of conflict situations also have an internal division into types. For example,
a work conflict can be vertical (between a boss and a subordinate) and horizontal (between
colleagues of the same rank). Family conflict can be marital, child-parent, sibling (between
siblings).
In a conflict situation or in dealing with a difficult person, you should use an approach that is
more appropriate to the specific circumstances and in which the latter would feel comfortable.
The best prerequisites for choosing the optimal approach to conflict resolution are life experience
and the desire not to complicate the situation and not to bring a person to stress. You can reach a
compromise, adapt to the needs of another person (especially a partner or loved one); persistently
pursue your true interests in another aspect; avoid discussing a conflict issue if it is not very
important; use a style of cooperation to meet the most important interests of both parties.
Therefore, the best way to resolve a conflict situation is to consciously choose the optimal
behavior strategy.
Answer the questions:
1.
2.
3.
4.
What is conflict?
What does the development of the conflict depend on?
What factors can identify a conflict?
What types of conflict can you name?
Activity 2
How to Improve Your Relationships With Effective Communication
Skills
Conflict in a relationship is virtually inevitable. In itself, conflict isn’t a problem; how it’s
handled, however, can bring people together or tear them apart. Poor communication skills,
disagreements, and misunderstandings can be a source of anger and distance or a springboard to
a stronger relationship and a happier future.
Tips for Effective Communication
Next time you’re dealing with conflict, keep these tips on effective communication skills in mind
and you can create a more positive outcome. Here's how.
Stay Focused
Sometimes it’s tempting to bring up past seemingly related conflicts when dealing with current
ones. It feels relevant to address everything that's bothering you at once and get it all talked
about while you're already dealing with one conflict.
Unfortunately, this often clouds the issue and makes finding mutual understanding and a solution
to the current issue less likely, and makes the whole discussion more taxing and even confusing.
Try not to bring up past hurts or other topics. Stay focused on the present, your feelings,
understanding one another, and finding a solution.
Practicing mindfulness meditation can help you to learn to be more present in all areas of your
life.
Listen Carefully
People often think they’re listening, but are really thinking about what they’re going to say next
when the other person stops talking. Try to notice if you do that the next time you're in a
discussion.
Truly effective communication goes both ways. While it might be difficult, try really listening to
what your partner is saying. Don’t interrupt. Don’t get defensive. Just hear them and reflect back
what they’re saying so they know you’ve heard. Then you’ll understand them better and they’ll
be more willing to listen to you.
Try to See Their Point of View
In a conflict, most of us primarily want to feel heard and understood. We talk a lot about our
point of view to get the other person to see things our way. This is understandable, but too much
of a focus on our own desire to be understood above all else can backfire. Ironically, if we all do
this all the time, there’s little focus on the other person’s point of view, and nobody feels
understood.
Try to really see the other side, and then you can better explain yours. (If you don't "get it," ask
more questions until you do.) Others will more likely be willing to listen if they feel heard.
Respond to Criticism With Empathy
When someone comes at you with criticism, it’s easy to feel that they’re wrong and get
defensive. While criticism is hard to hear and often exaggerated or colored by the other person’s
emotions, it’s important to listen to the other person’s pain and respond with empathy for their
feelings. Also, look for what’s true in what they’re saying; that can be valuable information for
you.
3 Ways to Build Real Empathy for Others in Your Life
Own What’s Yours
Realize that personal responsibility is a strength, not a weakness. Effective communication
involves admitting when you’re wrong. If you both share some responsibility in a conflict (which
is usually the case), look for and admit to what’s yours. It diffuses the situation, sets a good
example, and shows maturity. It also often inspires the other person to respond in kind, leading
you both closer to mutual understanding and a solution.
Use “I” Messages
Rather than saying things like, “You really messed up here,” begin statements with “I,” and make
them about yourself and your feelings, like, “I feel frustrated when this happens.” It’s less
accusatory, sparks less defensiveness, and helps the other person understand your point of view
rather than feeling attacked.
Look for Compromise
Instead of trying to "win" the argument, look for solutions that meet everybody’s needs. Either
through compromise or a new creative solution that gives you both what you want most, this
focus is much more effective than one person getting what they want at the other’s expense.
Healthy communication involves finding a resolution that both sides can be happy with.
Take a Time-Out
Sometimes tempers get heated and it’s just too difficult to continue a discussion without it
becoming an argument or a fight. If you feel yourself or your partner starting to get too angry to
be constructive, or showing some destructive communication patterns, it’s okay to take a break
from the discussion until you both cool off.
This can mean taking a walk and cooling off to return to the conversation in half an hour,
"sleeping on it" so you can process what you're feeling a little more, or whatever feels like the
best fit for the two of you, as long as you do return to the conversation. Sometimes good
communication means knowing when to take a break.
Keep at It
While taking a break from the discussion is sometimes a good idea, always come back to it. If
you both approach the situation with a constructive attitude, mutual respect, and a willingness to
see the other’s point of view or at least find a solution, you can make progress toward the goal of
a resolution to the conflict. Unless it’s time to give up on the relationship, don’t give up on
communication.
Ask For Help
If one or both of you has trouble staying respectful during conflict, or if you’ve tried resolving
conflict with your partner on your own and the situation just doesn’t seem to be improving, you
might benefit from a few sessions with a therapist.
Video “How to improve interpersonal skills”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w97dR3OJB1k
Activity 5
Read the text. Which recommendation can be the most efficient for you? Why? (give an
example to support your opinion)
How to Handle Unresolved Conflict at Family Gatherings
While family relationships can bring support, joy, and other wonderful benefits into our lives,
these relationships can also bring stress, particularly when there's unresolved conflict.
Because it's more difficult to let go of conflicted relationships with family than it would be if
these relationships were mere friendships, unresolved conflicts with family members can be
particularly painful.
We have certain expectations of trust and closeness toward family members. It can be more than
merely disappointing to realize that this may not be possible with all family members.
The Stress of Family Disputes
Unresolved family conflicts bring additional stress, particularly at family gatherings. Past
unresolved conflicts can become the elephant in the room, felt by everyone, but not directly
addressed. This can be stressful for everyone before and during the family gatherings, sometimes
leaving a lasting sense of stress afterward as well.
Without a heartfelt discussion, an apology, or another form of resolution, the trust on both sides
is compromised, and may not know what to expect from this person in the future. (For example,
the time your mother-in-law criticized your cooking may come up in your mind every time she
visits, and others may sense your tension.)
This leads many people to assume the worst when they interpret each other's behavior rather than
giving the benefit of the doubt like most of us do with people we trust. Also, references or
reminders of past conflicts can sting and create new pain.
Once a conflict has gone on a while, even if both parties move on and remain polite, the feelings
of pain and mistrust usually linger under the surface, and are difficult to resolve. Bringing up old
hurts in an effort to resolve them can often backfire, as the other party may feel attacked.
Avoiding the issue altogether but holding onto resentment can poison feelings in the present.
What to Do to Ease Conflict
So what do you do at a family gathering when there's someone there with whom you've had an
unresolved conflict? Just be polite.
Contrary to how many people feel, a family gathering is not the time to rehash old conflicts, as
such conversations often get messy before they get resolved—if they get resolved. Again, be
polite, redirect conversations that get into areas that may cause conflict, and try to avoid the
person as much as you politely can.
Even if everyone else fails to follow this advice, if you are able to focus on handling your end of
the conflict in a peaceful way, you can go a long way in minimizing battles at family gatherings
and promoting peace. You may be surprised by how much of a difference this can make in the
overall feel of your family get-togethers, and in your personal feelings and stress level leading up
to them. In the future, you can take one of three paths.
Try to Resolve the Conflict
At a time when all the family isn't gathered, ask the person if they'd like to discuss and resolve
what happened between you. If (and only if) you and the other person seem to want to resolve
things and are open to seeing one another's point of view, this could be a constructive idea.
Seeing where each of you may have misunderstood the other or behaved in a way you would
change if you could, offering sincere apologies, and in other ways resolving the conflict can heal
the relationship for the future.
Forgive and Forget
If it looks like such a civil meeting of the minds is unlikely, don't push it. It's probably a good
idea to try to forgive the other person and let it go. Forgiving doesn't mean opening yourself up
to feel wronged again; it only means that you let go of your feelings of resentment and anger.
You can be careful in what you expect from this person in the future without actively harboring
resentment, and you'll be the one to benefit the most.
Minimize or Cut Off Contact
If what the other person did was abusive and there's absolutely no remorse or reason to expect
things to be different in the future, you can severely limit your dealings with this person or cut
off contact altogether. This is normally a last-resort choice, but in cases of abuse, it's sometimes
a necessary one to make for your own emotional health.
Activity 4
Conflict management. Managing a conflict
Many people feel uncomfortable with conflict but it can help us to develop. Here are eight tips for
managing conflict more effectively.
Match the definitions (a–h) with the vocabulary (1–8).
Vocabulary
Definitions
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
… a monologue
…… defensive
…… to handle
…… to resolve
…… to bring up
…… to blame
…… constructive feedback
…… a perspective
to deal with or have responsibility for
something
b. to solve or end a problem
c. advice and comments about your work that
are useful and help to improve it
d. a long speech by one person
e. a way of seeing or thinking about something
f. protecting yourself from being criticised or
attacked
g. to start talking about a particular topic
h. to say or think that someone is responsible
for something bad happening
Conflict management
Knowing how to handle conflict is an important professional skill. Conflict at work can affect
the motivation and well-being of staff and create unnecessary distractions and stress. People with
conflict management skills resolve disagreements quickly and effectively, enabling effective
teamwork and maximum productivity. Successful conflict management also helps to create an
atmosphere in which individuals can learn from others, develop their talents and think creatively.
Conflict management can be challenging, but people who do it well are highly valued by their
colleagues and companies.
Fight or flight
When conflict arises, we can often see nature’s fight-or-flight response – either attacking the
enemy or running away. The ‘fight’ reaction is when people start to prepare themselves for an
argument. But by getting aggressive, they might not only damage their relationships but also
miss the chance of growing through constructive feedback.
The ‘flight’ response involves ignoring the issue altogether. People suppress their feelings, hide
disagreements and pretend that everything is fine when it is not. However, the conflict remains
unresolved and the problem gets worse.
So how can we go beyond our immediate reactions to make conflict a source of trust-building
and development? Here are eight tips to help us manage conflict successfully.
1. Consider the best time and place for the conversation.
While it is important to talk about the issue, doing it in the wrong place and in front of the wrong
people can result in embarrassment and an inability to truly listen. If possible, make an
appointment to sit down and talk through the issue with the people involved.
2. Assume positive intentions.
If you walk into a conversation assuming that you’re not liked or that you’re going to be
attacked, you’ll most likely spend that time defending yourself and feeling angry and hurt.
Remember that you’re going through this process because people want to resolve the issue and
get along. So start by assuming that their intentions are positive and that the things they are
going to say are for the good of the team. This will allow for an open conversation that aims to
improve the situation rather than make it worse.
3. Make sure it’s a two-way conversation.
A conversation is not a monologue. It is not a chance for one party to list all the things they are
angry and unhappy about without letting the other person react. A real conversation allows all
parties to share their perspectives and collaborate to find a satisfactory way forward. If you find
yourself in a monologue, stop and ask some questions.
4. Listen and be open to change.
Many of us think we listen but instead are simply waiting for our chance to respond. Put your
thoughts aside for the moment and truly listen when the other person is speaking. Growth and
development are only possible if you allow their words to change you.
5. Be specific about the issue and the impact.
It’s easy to generalise and make broad accusations, for example using statements such as You
always ... or You never ... However, this often results in a defensive response. Instead, be
specific about what the issue is, give examples and be clear about the impact of the problem. Be
as objective as you can and avoid personal attacks.
6. Don’t bring up the past.
Some of us feel the need to bring up less relevant past events to gain an advantage over our
conversation partner. This can make people feel defensive and distract everyone from the main
point of the conversation. Try to focus on the main issue and how to make things better.
7. Take responsibility for your part in the problem.
We are not perfect and we make mistakes. Consider how you might have contributed to the
problem and take responsibility for it. This not only demonstrates your desire to work as a team
but also shows that you are not just looking for an opportunity to blame the other party.
8. Focus on the future.
Conversations about conflict are often focused on what shouldn’t have been and what could have
been done. Instead, focus on the future. What steps can you take to resolve the problem? How
can you avoid this happening again?
With careful management, conflicts can help us make the most of our differences and find a way
of working together successfully.
Task 1 Circle the correct option to complete the sentences.
1. Conflict at work can …
a. make people feel negative and stressed.
b. help staff develop.
c. be difficult to manage.
d. All of the above.
2. People who choose to maintain the peace and ‘fly’ from conflict tend to …
a. get defensive.
b. not resolve the conflict.
c. openly deny any accusations.
d. manage the conflict well.
3. By making an appointment to discuss the issue, we can …
a. avoid involving people who do not need to be a part of it.
b. choose a time when all parties feel angriest with each other.
c. choose a place where there are soft cushions so that no one will get hurt if a fight breaks out.
d. prepare our attack in advance and bring all the evidence we need.
4. When managing conflict, the writer suggests that we should …
a. bring up the issue whenever we start to feel angry about it.
b. focus on talking about and elaborating our own perspective on the problem.
c. believe that people have good intentions and want the best for everyone.
d. arm ourselves with lots of examples of things the other person has done wrong in the past.
5. According to the advice in the article, we should say things like …
a. ‘You never offer any help.’
b. ‘What you did made Paul feel undervalued.’
c. ‘I’ve heard you’re a very negative person and now I see it’s true.’
d. ‘I don’t want to hear your side of the story. I already know it.’
6. By taking responsibility for our part in the problem, we can …
a. show that we are perfect.
b. blame ourselves before they blame us.
c. pretend to share the blame and avoid the real issue.
d. show that we value teamwork and collaboration.
Task 2 Are the sentences true or false?
1. Employers don’t realise that conflict management skills are useful.
2. When faced with conflict, it is natural to want to run away or to get ready for battle.
3. When we choose between ‘fight’ or ‘flight’, they can both result in a lost opportunity to make
things better.
4. It is best to start dealing with conflict immediately, without worrying too much about the time
and place.
5. Many people who say they are listening are in fact thinking of what they are going to say in
reply.
6. Focusing on examples of the other person’s wrongdoing helps to resolve conflict.
Discussion
How do you normally deal with conflict at work? Do you have any tips?
Activity 4
Conflict resolution
Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KY5TWVz5ZDU
Video quiz questions:
1) That makes it so difficult to ________________________ with, and how come good people
can turn into such monsters in the face of conflict?
2 ) Others get really upset wide themselves up an ________________________ and others just
get sick or go on stress, leave.
3) In fact, it's amazing, what people will do in ________________________ to avoid conflict
and the emotional stress that comes with it.
4) … when confronted with a ________________________ or difficult conflict,
5) … I want to ________________________ you to a definition of conflict,
6) So this is a definition that starts at a very low ________________________ ,
7) … the definition conflict ________________________ ,
8) And the first ________________________ is to express the need the second step is to find out
if the need can,
9) And most people go ________________________ from having an unmet need in to the
management of conflict,
10) … getting sick, the silent treatment backstabbing, gossiping ________________________
blocking being aggressive and getting angry.
11) And then finding out if your unmet need can or can not be met if your conflict has escalated
to the ________________________ ,
12) Then you really need to think ________________________ about involving a neutral third
party to help you mediate the dispute,
13) Survival ________________________ for business leaders.
14) We offer you a ________________________ confidential telephone consultation to help.
15) The ________________________ of conflict is too high.
Activity 5
Read the text and identify the difference between Constructive and Destructive Conflict.
Constructive Conflict vs Destructive Conflict: Managing Conflict
Effectively
Conflict is inevitable and can be a factor for growth in healthy relationships. It’s how effective
we are at managing conflict that determines future progress and deeper understanding. So what’s
the difference between constructive conflict and destructive conflict?
The goal of conflict resolution is to be effective at being able to have difficult
conversations, not necessarily avoiding them. These moments bring about critical tension. You
might be asking yourself what that really means…
Critical tension is when there is a challenge or problem at hand and, instead of running away
from it, we approach that pivotal moment knowing that on the other side of it is a better way
forward. This is how true change happens and highlights the human struggles, big and small, that
we can experience in so many ways.
In order to understand this in more detail, we need to explore constructive conflict and
destructive conflict.
What Is Constructive Conflict?
Constructive conflict is usually characterized by more adaptive and collaborative behaviours.
Whilst there may be some difference of opinion, the purpose of this approach is to use calm,
effective problem-solving and aim for mutually beneficial outcomes.
This approach can help maintain good relationships and develop a greater empathy and
understanding of others. We need to tap into our emotional intelligence to show we have enough
self-awareness and a willingness to understand something from someone else’s perspective.
Whilst we don’t have to agree 100% in all situations, we can commit to achieving a way forward
through problem-solving.
What Is Destructive Conflict?
Destructive conflict can be categorized into two ways:
Escalation (such as hostile and angry exchanges) or Avoidance (such as walking away or
indirect conflict).
Escalation can stem from a desire to win an argument instead of finding a solution to the
problem.
Avoidance may arise from one party thinking the effort to resolve the conflict may not be worth
it. This highlights a lack of communication or commitment.
Both of these types of destructive conflict can result in further problems. Characteristics of
destructive conflict include repetitive patterns of behaviour such as criticism, threats or rejection.
Many of these behaviours can escalate problems and lead to unresolved conflicts.
Constructive Conflict, it Takes Awareness
Sometimes the things that you say can add fuel to the fire and increase the conflict. Avoid
preaching, ordering, threatening, interfering or accusing. These tones in communication can
make situations worse and lead to further problems.
Using categorizing phrases, such as, ‘You always…’ may anger the other person. Also, do not
diagnose what you consider their problem to be as this may lead to further difficulties.
The origins of many of our disputes are based on fear, whether it is fear of change, difference or
not being understood or heard. We all seek reassurance that our points of view are valued and
respected. Having constructive conversations can help in managing conflict and lead to
successful outcomes.
How to Create an Environment for Constructive Conflict
Listen
This can be difficult during a heated exchange but using effective listening skills will ease
communication and lead to better conflict resolution.
Clarify
Do not interrupt when the other person is speaking but repeat and clarify the issue being raised.
By mirroring the points raised, the other person will feel heard and respected.
Ask Questions
Allow the other person to let out all the tension. Try asking, ‘What else?’, to gain a further
understanding of the issue.
Validate
Opinions are personal and subjective, they are neither right nor wrong. You don’t have to agree
but should attempt to acknowledge the other person’s perspective.
Empathize
Try and understand the feelings of the other person to determine what is at the heart of the
problem.
Respond
Once you have a good understanding of the issues, offer your perspective. Identify any common
values or points of agreement that can allow you to find a way forward.
Activity 6
Negotiations
Unit 1. Negotiations. Win-win
A. Probing
The idea with win-win is that in negotiations there shouldn’t be winners and losers. The negotiators
try to reach a win-win solution – an agreement of equal benefit to them both.
One way of starting out is probing – asking the right questions and listening carefully to the
answers – to find out more about the objectives of the other side, in order to build on the
information you collected before the negotiation.
a What is the situation on production at
your plant at the moment?
d What did you have in mind regarding
specifications?
b What sort of quantities are you looking for?
e What
were you thinking of in terms of
specifications?
delivery dates?
c What are we looking at in the way of a
discount?
f How important to you is the currency for
payment?
B. Positive positions
Through a series of proposals or offers and counter-proposals or counter-offers from the other side,
the two sides work towards an agreement that will benefit them both.
1. If you offer more attractive financing, we will be able to increase our order.
2. As long as the planes are delivered on time, we could consider ordering more in the future.
3. On condition that you deliver 20 planes by May, we will start negotiating a second order
then.
4. Supposing that you provide good technical support, we may be prepared to pay a higher
price.
5. Provided you understand our immediate needs, we might agree to later delivery of some of
the planes.
C. Negative positions
These can be expressed with ‘if’ or ‘unless’.
D. Concessions and trade offs
When you offer to change your position to one that is less favourable to yourself, you concede
something or make a concession. A series of concessions in exchange for concessions from the other
side is a series of trade-offs.
Even in a friendly negotiation, there may be horse-trading, with each side making a series of
concessions. (This expression is often used to show disapproval.)
Exercises
1.1 Match the replies (1–6) with the probing questions (a–f) in A opposite.
1. In the long term, perhaps 100 units per year over five years.
2. We can offer 10 per cent if the quantities are right.
3. We’d like to see a 10 per cent improvement in performance
4. We’d prefer US dollars.
5. We’ll need the first 30 planes in 18 months.
6. We’re operating at full capacity.
1.2 The EPA–LT negotiations have reached a stage where each side is making proposals and
counter-proposals. Use expressions and structures from the item with the same number in B
opposite to complete the phrases below, using the correct form of the words in brackets. The
first one has been done for you.
1. offer more flexible payment conditions / be able / (pay) / higher price
If you offer more flexible payment conditions, we will be able to pay a higher price.
2. guarantee increased fuel economy / could consider / (pay) €25.5 million per unit
3. you sign the agreement today / will / start / (deliver) the planes / July (2 expressions)
4. send us your personnel for training / may / prepared (add) special features / to the planes that
you order
5. accept our conditions / might agree / (work) / you / future (2 expressions)
1.3 Change these expressions from C opposite and others so that they begin with ‘Unless’. The
first one has been done for you.
1. If you don’t reduce the price, we will contact Boeing to see what they have to offer.
Unless you reduce the price, we will contact Boeing to see what they have to offer.
2. If you fail to consider our particular requirements, we will end these discussions.
3. If you can’t deal with our order as a priority, we will cancel it.
4. If you are unable to offer more environmentally friendly versions, we will go to see your
competitor.
5. If you don’t stop using unfair techniques, we will break off negotiations.
1.4 Use appropriate forms of expressions from D opposite to complete these extracts. Use each
expression once only.
1. Management has made
in return for the withdrawal of the shareholders’ proposal to
fire the entire board of directors.
2. Diplomats and oil executives believe a compromise could be reached through intensive
horse ………. .
3. The contract negotiating strategy will be based on the
between time, cost and quality,
and attitude to risk.
4. Parkside had been passing on price increases to customers, but in May was forced to
a 10 per cent cut to its largest customer.
Over to you
• Is every negotiation potentially a win-win one?
• Have you ever needed to make concessions? When, and how?
Unit 2. Negotiations. Reaching agreement
A. Deadlock and mediators
Every year in the US there are negotiations between the baseball players’ union and the
baseball team owners about pay and conditions for the coming season. One year, after
months of negotiations, there was deadlock1 and the negotiations broke down2. Some
commentators said there was stalemate3; others, an impasse4. There were irreconcilable
differences5 between the two sides and it was impossible to reach an agreement. The
baseball players went on strike.
The two sides agreed to bring in a mediator6 and the process of mediation7 began. The
person they chose was a retired politician. His role was not to impose8 an agreement. He
recommended a cooling-off period9. The players ended their strike, for the time being at
least. Another month passed, and still there was no progress. The two sides said they would
accept an agreement imposed by an arbitrator10. A judge, who also loved baseball, was
chosen. She looked at the claims of each side and imposed a settlement11 or a resolution11
to the dispute, fixing the salaries and the working conditions of the players for the coming
season. The public was glad that arbitration12 had settled the dispute. Baseball matches
continued and life returned to normal.
1the situation was completely stuck
2failed because there was a problem
3a situation in which neither group of people can win
4a situation where no progress could be made
5it was impossible to find agreement between the two sides
6someone from outside to help restart the negotiations and bring the two sides closer together
7helping the two sides to agree
8force
9a period where each side would take no action against the other for a certain period of time
10a person who has been chosen to make a decision
11an arrangement to end the disagreement
12the process of solving a disagreement between two groups of people
B. Agreements and contracts
An agreement of any kind is a deal. When you reach an agreement, you can talk about closing a deal
or clinching a deal.
A bargain is also an agreement reached through negotiation. People who get what they want in a
negotiation and make few concessions are said to drive a hard bargain.
C. Checking the deal
It’s important to check the points of an agreement to avoid misunderstandings. You could say:
 Let me just go/run over – repeat and summarize – the main points.
 On A, we agreed that …
 As far as B is concerned, – In relation to B, – we agreed …
 We still have the question of C to settle – decide and agree on.
 And there’s still the outstanding – remaining undecided – issue of D. We’ll send you a
written proposal.
 We’ll draw up – write – a contract based on those points.
 I think that covers everything.
Exercises
2.1 Look at the words from A opposite and say if these statements are true or false.
1. Someone who helps two sides to reach an agreement is an arbitrator.
2. If two sides in a dispute use arbitration, no outsiders are involved.
3. It’s not usual for mediators to impose agreements.
4. If you’re in an impasse, you think that progress is possible.
5. If negotiations break down, they stop, at least for a time.
6. Irreconcilable differences are not important.
7. If the two sides agree on a cooling-off period of one week, negotiations continue the next
day.
2.2 Complete these extracts using words that can come in front of ‘contract’ from B opposite.
1. Buyer and seller enter into a legally ______________ contract once an offer has been
accepted.
2. DAF is bidding for a ______________ contract to supply trucks to the British army
3. If two people agree on something and sign a sheet of paper, is that a _________contract?
4. Peters claimed that Schaffer was an employee in real estate ventures of Peters’s
company, but Schaffer asserted that an unwritten, ______________contract made them
partners.
5. She had an ________________contract due to expire later in the year and wanted to take
time off work.
The EPA–LT negotiations are ending. Arrange the phrases that Frederica Ramos uses
to close the negotiations into the correct order. The first one is a.
a I’ll just run over the main points. On the issue of the numbers of planes we wish to order, _1__
b I think that covers everything. That’s it for today. ____
c If we agree to the proposal, you’ll draw up a contract based on those points. ___
d payment to settle, and there is also still the outstanding issue of documentation. _____
e we agreed that you would install the most economical Rolls-Royce engines now available. ___
f we agreed that you would supply us with 120 planes over four years. As far as fuel economy is
concerned, ____
g We still have the question of the currency for ____
h You agreed to send us a written proposal on these last two issues. ____
Activity 7
CONFLICT RESOLUTION CASES
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. What types of conflict can you think of?
2. Have you recently been in any type of conflict?
3. Do you know anybody who has engaged in a serious conflict?
4. Is conflict always a bad thing?
5. Is there always a winner and a loser at a conflict?
6. What does it mean to have a positive or a negative attitude to conflict?
7. What methods of resolving conflicts can you think of? How effective are they?
CONFLICT RESOLUTION – USEFUL EXPRESSIONS
Match these expressions with their function.
1. Starting the conversation
2. Presenting your point of view
3. Disagreeing
4. Negotiating
5. Ending on a positive note
#
Expression
How can we make this work?
I’m glad we were able to work it out.
How can we make sure this never happens
again?
I feel…
We should talk about….
Help me understand why…
Would you be OK with…
I think we might have different ideas about
how to…
I beg to differ.
#
Expression
It seems to me that…
Would you be willing to…?
Would you be open to…?
I’d like to talk about…
This is what I think will work best…
I take your point but…
I think we might have different opinions
about…
I’m afraid I have to disagree with you
there
Thanks for listening to me
I appreciate you telling me this
What do you need from me?
CONFLICT RESOLUTION CARDS
PERSON A
PERSON B
Your boss has given you a negative
performance review. You don’t agree with his
opinion which is very damaging to your
reputation and will stay in your work files
forever.
One of your employees has been slacking a bit
lately (coming in late, taking very long breaks,
not meeting several deadlines) and you have
given them a negative performance review.
You know they generally tend to work well so
you are willing to submit a new review under
several conditions.
Person A
Person B
You disagree with the teacher’s negative
school report regarding your child’s
performance and behaviour. Your child seems
fine at home, so what might be different at
school?
Person A
A parent disagrees with the report you have
written for their particularly badly-behaving
child. You would like to make them see your
point and try to help the child together.
Your family urges you to get married
according to a very strict religious ritual and
family tradition. You don’t want to hurt their
feelings but your beliefs are totally different
from theirs.
Person A
Your only child wants to get married in a way
which seems unacceptable to your tradition
and your religion. You don’t understand why
they would not want to follow the ritual.
Your life partner and you can’t settle a conflict
over your domestic budget. Their spending
habits annoy you and seem unnecessary. They
say you don’t understand their needs and limit
their financial freedom.
Your life partner is being unreasonably stingy
and counts every penny you spend. You really
don’t see the problem as your domestic budget
is fine.
Person B
Person B