What is a proposal? The purpose of writing a proposal is to present a plan, 1'd ea, or proJ·ect to an individual • group, or ✓ / ~ ... v'Pv.,rsA I organization in a formal and structured manner. t a. ~-p~o~osal is a formal document that outlines a plan or suggestion for a specific project, 1mt1attve, or course of action. b. It is typically written with the purpose of persuading or convincing the reader to support or 0 ~ , f l , , ,•• L-+ ~ 3. iuui-v -~t.' .approve the proposed idea. 1.r-v•~T ~--._ 4. ~t'~ c. A proposal typically includes a clear description of the problem or need. followed by a 1. {v-:f rv~a:.u., .. . detailed plan of action or recommendations. q . d. A proposal uses subheadings to separate the different sections. u,.rr;;:/' ~,-:W.'o.,.. :r. ~ o ~ ~ . , ... 4. l--o~tc,,,.910.,... e. Proposals are commonly used in business, academia, research, and other professional settings to seek funding and approval. e!.,ovJ~,'olALanguage features 1. Proposals are typically written in a formal tone, using appropriate language and avoiding colloquial expressions or)l~ Con~t.i_o ns (e.g. It's a good idea.) and Perso~~ onouns (e.g. we, I) should NOT be used. 2. Proposals should use clear and straightforward langu,tge to ensure that the intended message is easily understood by the readers. Complex ideas should be explained in a con~ise manner. 1 3. Passive voice helps w create a formal tone. e.,o,_/tl k Oup&M•.i'-u). / C,,O'-½l'/ 4,y~ /1..dtl\., · 4. Persuasive technique s such as using strong and convincing arguments, providing evidence and examples is effective in gaining readers' support. °'f"-v~-o ✓ [ 5. Formal connectives should be used to connect ideas. +-l 0 N-LVLY [ lov-i 6. Proposals follow a formal structure with a title and subheadings to organize the content and make it easier to navigate. This helps the reader to quickly locate specific sections or information. J, J J 7. Using modal verbs such as "could" or "would" in a proposal instead o f " ~ " , • ~ and~~ can add a more polite and tentative tone to your language. 4 2 F.4 English Language Writing Skills How to write a "hook" 3. Statistic Hook / Using stabstics, such as numbersr deennals, or and/or percentages, The J\,\UlA1'ii.1 and relaUonshfp of the quote to the paper needs to be ryf,..;~erwards JUSI in case the rea .s-b-i.u-aj (usually A hook is an Op..t,w~ _____ I se~nce) in an essay that - ~ ~ . : : : : the 'for6-t ~ aims ~ grab the reader's attention so that s.they want to read on. It C.1n be done by using a lew different types of hooks, which are • gyosUon quote staUsUc, or does not quite understand. Example (ar1Jcie): • Just 0.00545 percent of tho 550,000 boys playing high school basketball each year Jn .,J/,..;,.,J.. ~ / ,·,._ the UnKed States become a first-round draft plck J000 ; Basically, only a lew high school players w,11 make tt tn the NBA. Even though there are many that stnve, play, tra,n, p,acdce, and fight lo be grea~ ~ O ~fL Be mondful that the hook has to be tt\ated to the oyeran topic --r -~-{;, NEIJ . 4. Anecdotal Hook VVhen I wnter uses a short story to relate to the topic and gain the reader's attentton. they are us,ng an anecdote This story can be a short. personal story or one that Is a figment of your Imagination ■blog post ■speech ■argumentative essays ■anide ■ed1tonal ■diary etc 1. Question Hook 7:)q ,"If.._f...;,.;/ .../,(l'-¥.1-1oi,.. ~YU- -fl~f./- ~,~/-1-/,w )1'": _,µl,{,r Example (blog post)' Have you eKrwatched the hlgh.nylng{,slam dunking, an~Jaklng players that w~d play In the NBA 7 Every tune I catch a game on lelevis,on and I w,tness the thrill ol the game, I «:.1n'I help but watch another one 2. Quotation Hook A quotation hook 1s When a quote Is Ufed and vv~ ·· · {I Example (blog post): _ . • When I was /n high school, I was caughl cheabng. Gmem~when used sil on my dad's lap while he drove around town del1venng ma,J. 10 I O Back in my day had walk three miles lo the watenng hole Just to brush my teeth. 0 10 I ------ ,-JY""::/ b ~ 5. Common mlsconceptlon\ :t'....~, ~-z; has relevance to the topic at hand. Make sure thlS quote comes from a - cr..t,Q..ib/L sou •. Also, talk about the quote'• afterwards to ensure that the reader isn't confused. Example (speech);. "Some people want It to happen, some wish It would happen, others make It happen• want. dream. wish, and pray that they w,11 one day make It lo the big stage. Other examples: • Molher Teresa once said lhat 'If you Judge people, you have no llme to love lhem. ( • ~ool me once. shame on you. Fool me tw,ce, shame on me • 11 may sound like a cllch~ bvt you wouldn't beUeve how many vktim.s fall prey lo daUng scams not onty once. but twice As Charles Dichens put n, ~11 was the best of bmes, it was the worst of times.· • Spiderman once said that '"'1th great power there must a/so come great responsibility. Example (argumeni,t1ve essay): Many peopqtill pet14:vf that marriage guarantees a "happlly-.,ver•aller" ending,);;;::{ -ff,.,if /°'s I J""f'f .,.,;is ""' --H-<"~fi o Adapted: httos•/fwww es,, ed11lwnhng-studt0/mlides0Jook Hid Michael Jordan, arguably the best player lo ever play in the NBA. Here. Jordan talks about how people • U -- • •/ i Shortcuts to Creating a Good Title Classwortc Based on er.ti folowtng quesbons, practise wntmg d1fferenl types ot hooks. Qt YtN ere Chou·pcrson of the SocH115dc.nce., Club. Recently, you have observed a trend: dating apps t'sc ;,,UitCQti00 1.oJ.iu:s1 & blltBSl by Domestic Viole.nee ha-we become more and mof"e populcr among you"9 pcoptc these days. Write o post on yow ctub's blog to c,q,rus)'O',W"thOU9hts. T-• lii, Glxw Together! Pets That Are Lm:<d And .um Wife your hooks here; Question Hook ,,, Quotation Hook ,, .... li1!ll1ml ll!w ~ in Our School --~ 4-t k-fi, ASwimmer's~&twi>lml:l: Use idioma/ commonlv usrd ohrosu Gr,at Minds Think Alika StatJstic Hook !Ov.b-- 7:i.~ ,,. Anocdobl Hook ,/.-c}~ "{ J.u . ,#-~{f~Jft/~ No Pam, No Gain Smoking Banl Better L,te than Never li].41!JM / 1 Use figurarj,3 languagr (ffletaobm;/ sjmjle/ allusjon/ peqgnification ctcl 7fi{'6'-Ai. 1k.i/:·1COVID 19: A Blessing In Disguise Common mlsconuptlon QZ.. Chino Airline has orgon,.sc.d a blog-writing c.ompetit,on oncf the winner will get o fr« flight ticket. The. toptc is '"Chino Today: You decided to enter the competition. Types Question Hook Wile your hooks here: School Kids A f t ~ by Homework _ $,._L En, -=--~ Nca;mry A~ Nuclear Power I s Smartphoncs Tum People Into Zmohit;s CUba Up Close: How Ms Poon J'A,'t)gl Bask Jo Dmc Quobtk>n Hook lhc p11oct1iatioo, smartb-- Include KEYwPrds The Un.sung Heroes of Hong Kong Statistic Hook Emma Watson~A Rote Model for Teens f Steve Jobs Ups & Downs of a Giant Anecdotal Hook Yuto Horigome Ol)mpic Skateboarde.r that I Look Up To Common mlsconcepUon ~ ~dr,) 0 ~ j ( writ. Al:A Frjcn=:?:rdo Social Media Is a I From Zuo to Hero How So Wa Wai Inspires Me U l...li Shanl A PowerfuJ Woman Sarah Ltt Has Made Me A Better Version of Myself / / J,.._-f ~ Name: ~1) l-{.,;7,-v H...ftrJ I ( 5 ) Class: 4}_ (div . .k..) St stephen's Girls' College F4 Paper 2 Writing Blog Entry What is a blog entry? · b· • A blog entry is a personal op'inion a written pu hshed on an informal blog. It is typically . I th t , . . , th art1c e a express es the auth ors oughts ideas and opinions ' or provides information on . . ' ' a specific topic. Purpose of Writing • Is, • ces, news, tutoria entries cover a. wide ran ge Of su b'Jects, .including personal experien Blog . • · guides and expe rt InsIghts. reviews ' how-to They serve as a means for bloggers to share • . . 1· • · • • audienc with th eir their expertis e • engage e, express their creativity and establish their on me ___;;-=-;.,t't,.,,M--f presence. Structure body A blog entry often fo~lows a specific structure, including a title, introduction, main s such element visual par_agraphs, ~onclus1~n, often using subheadings. It may also include often as iri:iages, video~. or mfographics to make it more engaging. Additionally, blog entries on discussi and on interacti provide opportu nities for readers to leave comments, fostering b around the topic. 11 . /4 V"'.....,,...,..1,~ L;h.. $,Jnt.>-i '..t.-. Common features found in a well-structured blog post: g, A blog post entry typically possesses several key features that help make it engagin informa tive and reader-friendly. to click 1. Catchy Title: A compelling title grabs the reader's attention and entices them and read the post. 2. Introduction: A11 intrvductory paragraph sets the tone, introduce:; :t,e topic cmd provide s a brief ov.,r:i<JW of what the post will cover g 3. Engagin g Content: The main body of the t.!og p',s' expands on thP topic, providin valuable information, insights or opinions. lc-· 4. Subhea dings: Break down the content into smaller ~.ections. makiny it skirrn11ab and enabling readers to find specific information qwckly. 1al<,:, 5. Visual Content: Incorporating relevant images, videos or infogrnphir, t,0.,•. \,), the post visually appealing and enhances the understanding of the ,:J~•t<"I'.!. 6. Call to Action (CTA): A blog post often c;oncludes with a CTA that e;icouragcs readers to engage further, such as leaving comments, sharing the post on socidl media, or exploring related content. essential to These features vary depending on the purpose, style and format of the blog. It's e. adapt these features to suit your specific blogging goals and target audienc Language Features: ing a l. Tone: Blog entries often adopt a casual, informal, conversational tone, resembl friendly conversation between the author and the reader by using contractions, informa l words and even slang. This helps establish a connection and makes the / content more relatable. ct ,:s ! ½ Ji,,..; ! tl.At1 v,,J~t I,~ (A. .µ.,I'\) -l-Pf1 ! u µ,w !,"-~g _J,o r.,../4 ;-Q~~ ,0 7 Name: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ ) Class: 4 _ (div. _ ) d •• • . of descriptive langu age he1ps pain v1vId pictures an t • The use e h f scriptive Languag • ses evo ke 0 or t e reader. Descriptive words and phra e ri~nc expe ory sens a te cr:a 2. overall imagery of the blog entry. fons capture attention, and e~hance the devices can be employed to simplify :~a ~ho ;s and Analogies: These ht~rary s clearer• 3epts or make abstract idea . complex cone ate or confuse your readers. .d complex language that may alien 11 d" a " connection "I " "we h 4. Avo1 ' n ~ou can be used to establish a Personal pronouns sue as ' ions. n ~hanng personal experiences or opin S. with the reader. "I" can be u~ed w~~ Ind are on er read icating that the author and "We" can create a sense of inclusivity, es the reader, making them feel involved the same journey. "You" directly address and engaged. / 1<~11\J ~ "7,10.,.. w;{ -f;. Strategies to engage your readers: nd st r larger' audi~nce's interests, needs, and 1. Know Your Audience: Under a you ress their specific concerns and provide preferences. Tailor your content to add valuable solutions. ing entries often begin with attention-grabb 2. Compelling Introduction: Effective blog ts, of questions, compelling statemen or opening hooks. These can be in the form captivate the reader's interest. interesting anecdotes that immediately aging. make your blog post relatable and eng 3. Incorporate storytelling elements to you r or real-life examples that resonate with Share personal anecdotes, case studies, 1•~ -tl;...f ..? Now, w/..,..-f readers. post ussions. Pose questionK at the end of the 4. Encourage readers to engage in disc ts or share their thoughts. to encourage readers to leave commen /',/., /i/,L-(;., I<- - ,..;/--r 1',. --ft..i~f ... ·· . /11tL- • • µ -po {.e,,.,,,,,t_ w~ -P td/,' w ... J Name: ~J-/-l,; T..ij .i-J,._,c} ( S° ) Class: 41__ (div.~) N~vJ '1l .1 Sample Blog Entry 1 ~.,,,j-.f17U -r,·-t/.t-: 5 Essential Tips for Effective Time Management ,J 0... J.,...,L, bu,,- J.,1/0;~; t,..,.'s .for ,.__ wf2t~,1o,,._'/{ f~w -fl.l;:t ../-ldof ( 1~-1;,'o,-) . "fis ~ ~&;;Jt:!~ , .-.vL--~ Do yoi.Yever feel hke there's never enough tirr\'e to get things done?/\Time ~ ' -;twv-0. levels.' stre~s reduce and productivity manage,ment is a skill that c~n gr~atly enhance . -ft.,L.. iw4 In todays fa_st-pace_d world, Juggling multiple responsibilities can be challenging. Howeve~, with the nght_ strategies, you can make the most of your time and. W~~~ ,,../ accomplish more. In this blog post, I will explore five ~ssential tips for effective time ,,10.. ,, JJl;r, U JkP-YJ---f,~ l~-f-ml'-l-Lr-J{,..• m~nagement. St,..;f .,,Jj-f/,. vM'/;,, - uivL d,_-,1,a/1'"-1)-ltI:lt,.,,...s • .. 54,~·'71 ~)Priorit ize TM.ks: sra;by identifying your lost important tasks and priont1ze th them. Focus on high-priority tasks that align with your goals, and tackle em first. This helps you avoid getting overwhelmed and ensures that you make U '-f ~'.,.._"";// J.;j.( progress in terms of your goals. 2. Set Realistic Goals: Break down your larger goals into smaller, manageab le tasks. Set realistic deadlines for ach task, allowing for flexibility and unexpected delays. That wa , you'll tay motivated and maintain a ~~nse offt accomplishment as you comp te-the~fi-c. -bt,.,-0.wrs -L-t'o Jkow-tt-~v,l,,$.. • 3. Eliminate Time Wasters: Identify and eliminate activities that take up time without adding value. Minimize distractions like social med!'i, unnecessa ry meetings, or internet browsing. Instead, allocate specific ti1T,H blocks and use productivity toois like time-tracking apps or website blockers to stay on tra,:;k 4. Learn to Delegate: Recognize that you don't have to do everything yourself. Delegate tasks to capable colleagues, friends and family members. This not only saves time but also allows you to rely on others' expertise. 5. Take Breaks and Practice Self-Care: Remember to schedule regular breaks to recharge your mind and avoid burnout. Engage in activities that you enjoy, such as exercise, meditation or spending time with loved ones. Taking care of your well-being ensures sustained productivity and overall satisfaction. Cc~Yio.._ : Effective time management is a skill that transforms your personal and professional life. Implement thes~ tips con~istently, and watch a_s you accomplish more while maintaining a healthier work:hf; balance. '{[.,.. t,4- N4.j ( 1t..Hi.1..,-f:,~, 0 llow,u b..1/ ><-5 ! J)k,u of/ow ~"-b T,t -/11 ~...1f f'?,.;f r V i L >P"';l ':-1..c,, -10- V ~ 6 i,v(Jt'.L--, .~ s. v~ v I -tk f u \ Paper 2 _J MODEL ANSWER Part B Question 7 29 May20 7,fl.t. ~ bts about body piercing ~D1cthoug - I . ed hen I was six. I don't really remember how that came I got my ears p1erc w ~~ 'th 't Th WI 1 • ere are man th about, but obviously my parents were n . Y o er types of body piercings available now, of course, and gettmg them seems to have become a trend, especially among teenagers. ular for a while. o. I've seen mos as common arnon teena ers here as Appropriate structure for a blog entry ose, • , Ko ut in, , Appropriate register, tone and style for a blog entry r [ Logical expression of Ideas European coUDtries and the US. Is 11 a good idea for,teenagers to get piercings :tl (beyond the !i§byj;ti§'§jiilj ear lobe kind)? 'That depends on a few things. ~ ~ ... '" . . . . . D~ behind gettmg a p1ercmg 1s unportanl Some' "'t,ccnagers sa)I that body piercing is a ~ expressing their l5'.lil. First, 1 think the ic., However, the trendier and more l!1@\s!ij.iiffi it becomes, the less UDique and 'individual' the look of a nose piercing, for example, is. Others emphasise PJW,s reasons for getting body piercings. They enjoy IJimD their appearance and, in their view, improving it. I agree that some body piercings can look attractive. However, no matter what the motivation is, I don't think it's worth altering your appearance in a fairly a . way. ...,...,....._.._..~S;..-econd, I think whether body piercing is suitable for teenagers or not depends on whether they're ffli't«ffl enough to find (and can afford) a reliable, skilful piercer who uses m4if fliB and knows what they're doing. I've read some horrible stories about painful M!iJN that took months to and left awful 1§11. There's also thr. for getti ng~ from an infected piercing needle. There are other serious h~Tc ~ associated with body piercing, which teenagers need to be aware of when they consider getting pierced. Tongue studs, for example, can become lo-:ise and end up in your airway. 'c.. q~ina lly, we need to think about how piercings will be viewed by potential employers once we get out into the workplace. In more @ ~ professions, they're likely to b e ~ - While you can remove your facial jewellery, would you want to do it every day? Is it really worth the Jffllll1 IClearly signposted structure Sophisticated cohesion to link sentences and Ideas Relevant content supported with examples llffll ¥ffl'IP Wide range of sophisticated sentence structures T- l i•.Jhese are just a few issues associated with body piercing. Nothing bas inspired me personally to go down this path. Yet, as a matter of principle, it's good to ~ others' choices. So, ffi!lit@l.t@P.."'@! Rhetorical questions to engage and persuade the reader Coherent closing with an interesting Idiomatic phrase to end the entry (408 words) ti Wide, sophisticated and appropriate vocabulary CEP Edge (2nd ed.) Set 6 - Paper 2 - 39 - 0 Pcmon Education Asia Limited \ r St. Stephen's Girls' College Form Four English Language Writing 11 Speech Good speech writing is the art of crafting words and ideas into a compelling, coherent, and memorable message that resonates with the audience. There are many different types of speeches. Name some occasions in which people deliver a speech: Part B: Now watch some videos. What kinds of speeches are they? What skills have the speakers used? l)'Pes of speech 1. h or\11>\a.: To!.~_ 1 ~ Hook .:,J I Literary devices / kill J,).._ s 5 /I' I { fA'So"¼-I )i""-'i\L ~- ·,--, / I( I ,,.... SlM.Sc...,:.\ "'"'-"'-W'S .S~i'"~ .. • ~ o " - ! <:,-t,~ speeclj Content o.,1-\.e-u.lotv fll.N'.AJI µI,~ Iv\ Speech 1 3. V Speech 2 l"-t"~ I ~ovo~, f lA'~c "'"'-l 4. _ _ _.....__ _ Speech -t VV\--tA.-1 ' )-"VIO ......~ t~~r v-i\. s.v(A,,.i--( 0>'~ I ~~Ort.I~ I ~l ' I \ Part C: Structuring a TL, .,.""' ~ + /s~i- y..._~ \ speech step by step 1. Greeting • Good morning/evening/afternoon, everyone/ladies and gentlemen/Principal, teachers and fellow • students. ~ Take St,t,l-{. o into consideratio ,..._n-,;--o-=-is-:--hi:-g-:--h-er_i_nra nt • ? In what order will ou address them in a gra ua ion speec ? ■ e.g. &rrad ents / teachers /~pal ,,._-e_P_n-.n-c-ip-a s/ ~ ChariY ■ Pr fessor Yuen Kwo u g (guest of honour) __\..---- ,; Good morning (1) "'( 2)_ __.J (3)_--'---' (4)_.....,___, (5)-t'L<'--iL-t'"Jand (6) rv.l,<.1S I o--~t---s - 2. Self-introduction My name is Chris Wong, and I'm the Chairperson of the Sports Club. (Chris Wong, SPCA, work: 1,'.... CJ,..r;s Woo :(vM-. Sp C../1. 3. Welcome your ~ 1 - ~ + acknowledge the Ul-<-«.-Ston. How would you use these words to introduce the occasion? welcome Welcome to the Inauguration Ceremony/the Literature Workshop /the Closing Ceremony of the academic year 2023-24. Honour I -C ,I ""1 t.._ • .._.Q vV to be- ii.Pr-<-. Meaningful What a pleasure ~ / /AJtv...j "'- plu...swL ,·t /1 f;. ypu-{ -(;,, 10..__ (!.,{/. l I 4. 1M' 05-t, of speaking Importance of On behalf oftJ1e Discipline Board, I'd like to remind everyone of the unctualit im ortance of unctualit . School's mentorship ro amme Making career choices Promote sportsmanship Celebrate academic achievements Animal cruelty / 'J.. {,·4- -t;. -u~ =-vi.i's Q,,._ -f{,..;5 •• ~c.,,..,s O<.,,,C,,A-$•·o,,._ 1olv , l '/ t b.t..- ~{f,,' ,r OY J _-t_•·_·_· ~.... l~---t ·s .. . ' ----4 rw~f~/ Part D: How to write 11 speech? , ~i-i'L .f IO I. Using tlu "'-M-C•o•'$ grab attention. d Lad· Do you know ... tcs an gentlem en, do you know how many pets are put down every ear? first What Ask your self 7 What do I mea n by ... , right? • N~. ,,j - , I i,u <--f< I H'-o "V v · _ _ _ _ _ _ your speech, each i11 r,·ca/ quesflons np: A goo d rule ofthum b is to use -2-3 rheto differe11t para grap hs. 2. Ruic of • • • • • -tl..r ..u._ "Life, L,.h, <,.y f,} , and the pwr fl-L/ 1 ''Government ~ the people, l bJ , and tears" 5w _ "Blood, "Location, location, location" 0" and Listen" "Stop, b k of happiness" the people, --f=!.r:-- the people" , r"J'1n> / famous bt,< A/f: 3. Using .f "Afr iena i,~e ed is afri end md..:ed." --tlA f-t ~ bcu1.. $/Lt 1l _., It may sl ~ 0'1...-;;i.OIA. . Fool me twice, slwiA..t.- ""'-- W\. L 'Foo l me once, s ~ you wouldn't believe how many victims fall prey to dating scam (.../ ;<.J..i_ sound like a not only once, but twice. As Charles Dickens put it, ·: ft wP-,J 11 Spiderman once said, t-vrt !. fiL i,.,t,sf rj --t,,~s ,"-t -vM -f/4,,_ vvor .s{ ~So u i ~ J"µ(__,1 Jr-4 pOINNY f/..:..urL ~ t r , I 4. Using connectives In fact // Sadly II So II For example Well II Actually II Basically II Now II Also II hand, ... // On the other hand, ... //Fo r inst ance // Frankly Spe akin g// On one II What I'm tn-inl! to say is ///It means that // This is not only, but also uf. "-ti'..,..LS . 11 Y-0(°,v,ilit,·~ L .fL.(JA.1L r audience/ Audience fM,va...--~ns , •-:, ' you • fth tninds the 0 e audience to understand the world from You want to be able to step_...!.:-.::---- 5. ,...t, • perspect'1ve. the1r l 'm sure all/ most I many/ some of you agree that.. As ... we have to ... I'm sure all of you agree that education is a basic human right l can see that at this point some of you are ... Ladil!Mnd gentlemen, I Joi'- ~£5 wrbL w.-{,,. -le _.. urge you to ... 5...;/'J 1-{~,..,~·0 I ...,,4,J I iW[J J'"' t,.~ 6. t)--4,i'a note Send an im\; rtant message/ Urge your audience to do something ~ -p ... Together, let's.. "t Join hands with me to.. I wish you all... 1 -b, . YNb -flu- \/..t,,Y'. Once again, •••• 5fLUl 7. Use pv-01,iv.L l.,_,y-, 1-'\.J..(.... (....<.L"-.. ~ A. /.if -,,,,Y-vl'\ bL/.i,,.A!.t...-- -fiL.... l,Mf ,'.,.__ 0 .,.,_r ..,-r.,.,.y~ ~ o ' - 0 . { L....,..,.,,k J ().,~kt:0>1.. [ 71,._-f< t-.1r 0 vi.. language In your speech, things shouldn't simply be described just as "good" or "bad". They should be f~:t,.-:tt'v I ki>YYI Mt,.) rl,l,Y".L,I ~rr1_tul j kxt,('-c,h I ii,·~rin·.,.,1;.o For extra emphasis, add adverbs too: a.1rv/iAfv0 /ifMT(..... ,i t.,,0w--p{2.-1!-f3) ~~ J-e. ) (make sure the adverbs aJd adjectives u,;/p u.Ji:.~ Reminders NO title Spoken English-+ use contractions, e.g. I'm/ You're/ It's Tone* -+ Understand your audience/ occasion Avoid long sentences. F.4 English Language Name: Jo~ ReP.& Writing Feedback Div.:~ Class: 't (t°°) A. Contt Date: _..:...-,4_L.!.../~(_O_ __ ***CONTENT - requirement "an incident" In DSE, if 1 incident is required, but you write MORE th . . an 1 incident. .. ii is still considered relevant BUT it shows that you HAYE NOT READ THE INSJRUC . TtONS PROPERLY It will also lead to you spending time on what 15 not required. and therefore writing less about what is actually required. "partially relevant content"= ~ • Corncn1 :s.1Jrc,\c-" rht- rC'\.)uirt"inc:nh of lh<' = 4 max. ONLY q~uon uJ(-qulli:I} • - J\lmo'-1 IOIJIIV rdn ~nl • Sony td...Ji an· d<'h'l,,pcd 1n dcl:i1I = affecting CONTENT mark • Contcm o, Cl.k.D"l\t l.nJ fulfil\ the: l'ftlU1rcnK"nh urthrqUNJoa • TouJJy rtlc,~nt • Mtin tdt:.n arc- "'<'II ~,tk_,pnl Titles What is the name of the music festival? Pop concert? Band show? Classical music concert? Organ performance? Choir concert (winning pieces)? Christmas concert? Charity concert? Concert of Chinese music to celebrate National Day? Musical performance (Open Day)? "Music Festival" is far too vague! Create an authentic scenario! Please be creative! • Report on a music festival • Report on the Music Festival • • • Interesting details 1 An alumna. Ms Lily leung, a world famous J,"'-\Sil.,(,,...( """""~ <...'"'"'who recently graduated from the London Music Academy, was present as a guest performer. An exhibition of various r,._'r'J.- ~.,_s, ._,.._I " '""t"V'-""'1.-~s cL-il <> k,J, SLS'5ion A bv--S teachers, tv,uC H~h... / was held in the Music Room, including an 18th century took place in the covered playground. Eleven_ student groups and two ' showcased their talents by performing w~re dressed in ~r, t[""-,-\ \ (.,Cl S~"'--"""ovS songs. ~ ' ""' Other ideas: ,LI-\S'l.~<.. C p._ ~-nJll\., U'-i{:".lol Introduction . Purp ose of the Concert/ Fest1Va1• To ~'1_ _ = : . . - - - -school life To .OIi-., L.1/,..,l-f, ""'±Q.... students' musical To y,t"t ,v14 students with an opportunity to showcase their music al To {~'S t students' interest in classical music To lo' Jt-< \ students' horizons To j t>Tvn1.<H R students to the most popular music 0 ~: 1(:t ~po- x~ 5 The genres students· interest in Cantopop students a live jazz music experience Good exam ples of a relevant incident - talents from tf , ot~l" '-'">i gnite d flammable vegetation in the outdo S~~l t)stQ...IM. 1'...l l , l or venue. failed. The stage lights suddenly switched off. The sM.Ol.a...--\~~~fcrrted too soon. A student helper had a loud 1 w)...f re...\ V with an audience member Students performed .,. Soi,... 5 containing swear words and adult content. Teacher iv-±t-l'Jiit'.o.-. was the efore t quired immediatel y. Due to the pre ~of Mr Hins Cheung, as the special guest, students ran onto the and ~~o --f..tt,\_ ~ .(A__ . As a result, a F.1 student fell to the ground and herstage arm was a.u:~% sf4>t 0 ~ • m~miss~I w8is delayed by two hours due to the fact that ~ Lo ~ by MC Cheung's fans. , ±v all entrances and C2-><-1 ou:t"e..,s were r a loose cable in the exhibition venue and smas hed a cello on display. The cello incident / 1ns~d•nl/ '4~ noun p,u .. incident .a Brlt.nnn1c.11 Dictiona ry definitio n of JNCIO[N T 1 1 on unea:pected ond usuollv unpleasa nt thing thot happen, [<oont] • We Jus·t wont to put that embarr.us,no fnod~nt behind us • Two people were shot yesterday ,n two separate /nddents . • Aside from e few isolated lnc,dtnts , the crowd wu Tftll· behoved. 3 B. Language FORMAL Language Based on the survey aOOl:lt v-1' --7-+---~Enjoy Music 2023, [... ] Student helpers attend a mandatory tra·ming • session . aefefe _...1T_ _f-0_-r___ the event. Posters were used lo ramp up it wont off without a hitch It was all a l:>ig mess f 1<; L excitement. -------- ------- Lots of guests showoe up at ______ the event There was noone keeping an ouo ' on ______the performers Spelling errors • • • • • • • • equipments • • posponed Rehersal Receive Audients Occured Audiences Feedbacks Alummnies Cooporation / corporation • • • Trainings Practices Arrangment Avoid 'Chinglish' phrases: • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 3rd-person voice Avoid using personal pronouns in a Report X We suggest holding more meetings The event was not held successfully (was unsuccessful) She got the champion (won the championship/ was the champion) Spare instruments should be prepared (available) Lots or ~performed (talented students) The audience iQinfilllhe event (attended) Performers j.Qfiled_the competuion (entered) There were many audiences (a big :iudience) II is suggested~ (having) + genmd We should let them lo change (allow them change) The club recruited student helpers 10 help. There were performers perform,no. There were sjngers singing. The weather was hot and no all:,C9.ndilloner. These problems were because or. • Wonl choi"" / ph,aslng - 1\/1/ Dismissal of the event '• • e 0 Causin~ incon\,~_ie ~e: 4,_~ ()..,,-\. u, j dismiss '\ I ~ "i... ~ " , not the event) 1-n~-r,~-tl-L w,;ol.. ~ vv-.~ V u < ; ~ "'--1\i...rw~ '5 Distur6\is dfurupl~ iterrupt "/\ le-..l.• X The event was lack o planning l L~ 1'• IL~I> v.') v-- lk,(..,L<- c.>~ I 11 was e,idenl lhal '":,Cent lacked planning, and the e,ent sho,ld e e,al,ated. QL(..t.A..''Y . An accident occured ancl led to the fe st1Val id not run s smooth! as ex ected - IA.o v~~,~ L,Ov-\{1\,\,\-tJ.--t• / l~ "\" Avoid using 'make' all the time Not having enough helpers is the biggest problem that made the show ~~~o:~t:Jtv\J not held s~ccessfully There were also minor problems that made the event a unsatisfying experience for students ~to / lJ..,to Usage / ~ ~ - L 5,.,..0...., To ensure [n. phr.] students' safety, ... / To ensure that students have a safe venue to perform, ... / J:\ t-tr\..;..,._. ~ [ n . phr.) the incident, the event was still a huge success./ - J ~ n incident happened, the event was still a huge success)< Despite the fact that an incident happened, the event was still a huge success. / SI. Stephen Girls' College Form 4 English Lunguage 2023-2024 Writing a Report PURPOSE Sif.... £\..tic1') toc,ahmtea to present research to make b V'lol,V\J /lU) ~ -:+- ..<Lve._~ t· j_ lo..'- 1vi1J' S~:1:r-•:Ji o\,'\<; ~ (if applicable) (0<.... l'Vl.(.V1~t10V1<;) STRUCTURE • A clca short, concise, informative) ►.1?f-por ovi_ ... _(-ti~ LV->Wt\l) ri,cT.u.h Ee o : .fui _u1v,u;t,J~'.lt>Y\ '"to .. _' (it-(_ ~rt\Arq-\t>\A~ tt,.e_ I_loucl crf ~-- ssGC Yl • l:l_y,o-.l. <; 15 "-ti O\lt)tl1{. _Risi..,., .. H_t,.1.-,\C1.LV ~- 6 r rY\~ Introduction ■ Background to the event/incident/topic ■ ► Consider ~urpo-~ \ • ( ti,.t.. s,t.... 5 V\.) 1H- &"'-<..·sti<>V\'; -L. ' . ..__ 1 -- / Discussion ► Discuss the problems/findings and divide them into sections. ► Put only one problem/finding(s) in one ► ft\-f ~ ✓c,..~ k . Make sure each paragraph has a clear ±o \1 v$.l-i~l.0, , ,,_,.(C\..k,0,...,11...f' ""'-+ L-J J/: ~ e of your obser:1ation: i.e. to show 10w successful an event was, you could: ~ VJ; ■ Give t...--evidence i.e. how many/what proportion participants, .. .,½, qlAfl-~1t-:i1\/ ■ \I e.g.------------------------------Give i....._j:{ .....i,vz., evidence i.e. what the participants said they felt about the event e.g.------------------------------- • Recommendations Give recommendations based on the problems you have discussed * Don't discuss a problem without giving a recommendation for it * Don't give recommendations for problems not previously mentioned. • Conclusion A general comment (avoid summarizing or repeating what·s already reported on) ~~c.. l" J,f -Ht::: ,, I,~ A<" ' ' \•o"C,' \ ' ( (, C , , , , , ~ , l>'-' I u•'~ l-,\,· \'i ' ~ ~ L I ::...:.-:----- ~~ading.s arc used to divide t 1e content Ill relevant sections. l nderlinc-t e subheadings. It should be short and pn•dsr• .\' Then! cll'C' ,,ot e11011gh helpers ✓ /11s 1tjficifllt /1/0IIJ)OII'('/' •The subheadings cnn hr,!!J!Plbctt~ but make sure your numbering system is consistent LANGUAGE • Language is always formal • Usually written in the rCL\t fL,\.'\<,~ (Use ~(et,e..\1tense for analysis and past tense for what happened) e A VOID a f ~l>"··'-\ :int of view/ use ~f. {~1st/ (L,1..0'"L ~.l,l'')t,(l 1.,\ r ol'\OV-..1'\ X ()reco111111e11d ~/wt ...e_hmklosk ... I bep,111011 ... ✓ use the ·rt.½,v.L vo\l--L • : It is suggested tlwt the furniture i11 tl,e room be removed beforehand. AVOID asking questions or usin~direct speech, X /11 tl,e sun·ey, the st11de111~1•as great /11(]1 Some st11de11el,e acti11ity made 11,em feel 1111comfor1able. Use ( L ~0 •' ! t L,t\., "t I l.L..t.,lA : .1/.J.J \..:..l ~Dl'.L.'>SUA.. IIA.<>v-.""\' -, The studellls coll,memed thar 11,e eve111)1·as (1111. II Some st11de111s reflected 11,a, tl,ev experie11ced discomfort during the acti11in,. It's. They're, We're_/- TONE • Av,.Ri,.t.Af,.L r\\l\J.--l'l\l/2) is important -A report usually ~1as a specific audience. Who is the target audience?---"? tl-L • rriKv~r\ --=~ ~0 '-'..t.-: yJ:1.L 1 _f~r~\, +,-l\""~\_J Create a neutral, objectin, factual tone, do not use adJect1ves such as great / terrific X..t..,.,..cb c,,-....__ \ X Students said that the event was held terribly. ✓ Students commented that they were dissatisfied with the arrangement of the event. • Mustalwaysbc i~'IAr,--l•1"-I ( ~11.iY r,vj ■ SAMPLE WRITING Rep uki )?,-ht>)'\ t or on the Technolog y Expo Title cU Introductio n . To infom1 students of technologic I t d Backgroun d a ren sand raise U1eir interest and . d ~ T w1 crstandmg of recent innovations - - - • a echnology Expo was organised ., . b 1 " I report ili""'•I This _art_n_1e..:.11-"t. Purpose of report - _y_t_h_:ll_D_e...,p . "'"" o--eva uate<the.evenrand offer ..__ \1 W .. ffe0mmenda11onscon~~Y-S-"to-improve-in 1hefutul'e! wn"-YL (2lDctaili ')7,-i-' / L- 1 , . ) W\,l.V) L,c. '"' [,,tvv. The Expo was held in the Great Hall between fu!_m and 6pm on 41h --I . . December. Ei ht com anies and or a01sat1ons were invited to set up . stalls m the hall ~howcas e cutting-edge technologies. osiers and 'U'J leaflets were distributed to students__prior to the~To facilitate '--'r •01'),L In \\o Brief summary of '\. event Information should be presented in a ~\ clear manner operation, student helpers were recruited to assi c~panies and students. However. a few incidents occurred during e Expo and various participants enc:>fitered P.roblems. w\,c.:\ \,c;..~Vt~i .2t ;t.,..y:1,\ 1 t\,,-e ~ve,1/\\ w\-io 31 Problem b~-s<- '-~ 1c.,n J J / sa..t1·,;f 3. I liisiHlicril manpowg ( f\ot -<..V' v<.f l,u l fLYS') It is reported that th1::re were not enough student helpers to caterJ ~ helpers needs of guests and visiting students. It was noted that only were recruited to assist the 200 guests. The problem became evtfe~t when the hall became packed with people after lunchtime. It was also observed that the helpers were not irnn1ediately available when guests needed assistance . .When a student fainted at 3pni.. it was later reported \:i Subheadin g Short and precise Discussion Main point in one paragraph that he was unable to seek help as the helpers were preoccupied wjl_h other duties. ~ <;;>A•v~'1 J / 3 .2 Poor"ntanning the of 70% than Jn a survey conducted after the event, more participatin g companies and organsations expressed their dissatisfaction towards the arrangemen t of the event. The majority of the particip81]_!s complained that they were not given a schedule and rundown of the event. ~ . a Q&A session was scheduled at 4pm but many st~ were no.1,info=1 ?.:,forehan d. causing co~fusion among helpers and guests. II was also reported that several sessions of the event were delayed·because of the poor communication between di ITcrent parties -Use quantitative and qualitative evidence and the expo overran by JO minut~ Complaints have also been received regarding the queue time f o ~ g workshj;'ps and th cancel~f I robot demon~ Out of t he 350 respo nd~fthe survey, 75% of them believed that ~1e event was not well organised. It is clear from the participants' feedback that the event lacked careful planning. l)SYI~ \ 4 -\\v_ 2 ~(o \,~ws With referenJ to participants' feedback and survey results, the Transitional following recommendations have been made to improve the operation of paragraph ( optional) t , GJRecommendations L .+·... • 1 o..J, ''""--vvv--~ 4.1 BetW:QllfflffiFg/ ' \....vf \/'J'r)l.~ S ensure that prompt assi~ce js provided to participants, it is "Yo Recommendations suggested that a more thorough planning of the event be m a d e , ~ ~ ~ _ 2 : J h e exact number of participants and the c a p ~ e venue. Department members should hold more meeting<SJ~ rcparatio for the event. There should also be more worksho~r to e uce the queue time. It is also recommended that the event start at an earlier time to reduce the possibility of an overrun. 4.? ~diti~ ~ Another recommendation is that more h e l p e r s ~ - It&_ ~ i d a n c e team members be invited to monitor students in case of unexpected incidents. Teachers should also be present to supervise students and ensure their safety. J~ ~ . C... o,, '--l IA'5 cc, '1 /a.l.?c>v-C,,t✓~ With the aforementioned problems, it is eviden_,1 that the Technology ... Expo was not held successfully. It is hoped that with more careful planning, improvements could be made for the smooth running of future events. Conclusion Int rod uct ion Useful Ph tnses and S ' tru ctu rcs for \Vr itin Re orts Th e aim of th1·s rep ort . (e .g. a sur vey car ried ts to Pro vid e an evaluation f \ als o pro •d out by the Student of.l_+ u ... '2-v t..0 \ )ti s based on v1 e sug ges t" \ . ton s and rec onu n s Associat'ton) Q U.O as well as (e.g. comments from teac ttng fro m som e hers). It will endations for • ----.:..::-:;.'..!p~r~ov~e~m~en~t:.:..- - It ts cle ar fro m Stu deone' -----------~ Co mm nts fee dba ck that Reporting Observations ent s fro m stu d It h It has been noted that .. ent s sug ges t tha t • \ as bee n me ntio ned tha t I h It bas been observed that ... t as als o bee n rep orte d tha••. t Yet another observation is that ... Ex pre ssi ng p .b • • • . Another aspect to highlight is ... oss1 le Res ult s of Problems his cou ld lea d to ... '°Expressing Causes of Problems Th is ma y we ll res ult in ... T-h1s could be due to (the fact that ) ... Th is mig ht giv e rise to .. This could be attributed to (the fact that) ... On e pos sib le out com e of this Thi s cou ld be the resu lt of ... could be .. . . .. has been attributed to.. . Th is cou ld hav e ser iou s implica tions for .. . . .. has been linked with .. . '_!Eis cou ld hav e a neg ativ e imp act on ... . Su est ing ide as Sug It wo uld (no t) be adv isa ble / practic ..,gesting Solutions to Stated problems al to ... e solution to this problem .:ould be \ lt is bel iev ed tha t the mo st effe ... . ctive way To combat this, ... \ to ..... wo uld be to ... Thi s could be prevented by ... . . . . mu st be tak en into acc oun t/ consideration. To improve this situation. ;t is sugg es•.ed that ... A (more spacious a"'a ) would be the solution . . . . would be an effective way of dea ling with this problem. ln light of this, the following measure s should be taken. It is therefore believed that ... . If this is to improve, it is vital ... . To rectify this, it is essential .. . Co ncl ud ing . . . be carried out, the ... will Sho uld the se rec om me nd atlo be unproved. ns Wi th som e car e fu l P lan nin g' improvements could be made. im· Ton e & Style: bik e ➔ such as A-1-t:-➔ many/ a grea t amount of A-l-01 ➔ significantly/ considerabl y +hings+wmelhing ➔ use a more spec ific word No t-eu gh- 0f ➔ a lack of/ a shor tage of -Useful voca bulary- Unit 6 d four albums, received 14 G . h 1. Taylor swift has re Iease , to!)( rammy nominations and became t e /i .,.,-:-:-- I ' . ) I \'\J~ Y\A\.V, I (A •'-I'\. male artist of all time. ' most-streamed ie =-, !~ a l'ifetime musical performance. 2. It s a oncei~ - • \ \ s 3 . Aft~~~ bla~~ut in the concert ha!L a mas ive screen behind the main stage flickered to life to display a 3-minute countdown. 4. After a 30-minute opening set th e audience was buzzing and cheering with energy. 5. The screen pulled up to reveal a line of dancers emerging from backstage. /"" ..I •. / \< / 6. Once they reached center stage, the dancers formed a pyramid with their~- ' 7. The songs were almost all played in full w i t h ~ and choruses. She has also created a l.,\,,bYV-.-).V, .,..,::l'f.., \),vf') L,, J\..DYV---S medle)l as a highlight of her most popular songs. 8. She is known for her great mix of styles - count!:)£, folk • .P.Qp, jazz. electronic and even rock. 9. At one point, the singer even seemed to "dive" into an onstage pool. 10. The performance became more than just music - they included lively acting and dancing performances. The choreography involves the dancers facing each other in rows, and each individual has a scarf. ~lc.._1\J..0 st.(.,f, S5\.ll / -;(="'-I. \ ,~ 11. Songs like "August" featured a lone musici~n in a flowing dress singing m(lancholi{ball~;. 12. The show featured the dramatics of a musical, but with more glittery costume changes. 13. Taylor Swift appeared at the ed~ of the stage with nothing but a guitar and a piano. She ~i --\{W'-i'-c explained that she leaves an ope~lot in every concert to ac us{1cally play two surprise songs. 14. The surprise songs include "This is Why we Can't Have Nice Things," a typically electronic hit . that was unexpectedly beautiful without its strong bass and a band playing at the back.tv ~c.~T.--( 15. The production resembles an Oscar halftime show, with excited conce,-goers wearing LED . b raceI ets t h at synchronize with the music. ,,, Cl,~1U\.LQ....