Put Your Best Foot Forward Assessment Step 1: First Draft Paste your first draft of your story, written in an earlier lesson. Santiago’s calloused hands strained as he clutched the fishing line, locked in a battle of wills with the mighty marlin. The old man's determination was unwavering, his spirit fueling the struggle, and his eyes fixated on the colossal fish dancing on the ocean surface. The sun bore down mercilessly, reflecting the shimmering blue and silver scales of the Marlin, a magnificent creature born to be free. For days, Santiago had ventured deep into the Gulfstream, seeking redemption from his string of ill-fated catches. He was on the cusp of something extraordinary-the ultimate challenge that would redefine his legacy as a fisherman. The sea had bestowed him with this chance, and he was determined not to squander it. As the struggle intensified, Santiago could feel his strength waning. His weathered face contorted with each tug of war, but his resolve remained unshaken. The Marlins power was unmatched, its sheer size and strength awe inspiring. Santiago couldn't help but admire the creature that embodied the spirit of the sea itself. The sun dipped below the horizon, casting a golden glow on the horizon as a day turned into night. Still, Santiago refused to yield, drawing upon a well of resilience he had cultivated over a lifetime at sea. The relentless duel continued through the darkness, each moment stretching into an eternity of agony and determination. As the first race of dawn painted the sky, Santiago sensed a change in the Marlins movements. The fish, too, was growing weary of the battle, unwilling to surrender its freedom. In a final act of defiance. The Marlins summoned all its strength and made a desperate lunch for freedom. With tremendous surge, the Maryland broke free from the fishing line, leaving Santiago stunned and disoriented. The old man's heart sank as he watched the majestic fish leap back into its natural realm, disappearing beneath the waves. For a moment, Santiago felt a sense of loss, not just for the prize that he had slipped away, but also for the profound connection he had formed with this creature of the deep. As the skiff rocked gently on the wave, Santiago was left adrift in a sea of emotions. He admired the Marlins tenacity, its refusal to be conquered, and understood that he had been a mere witness to a grand spectacle of nature's raw power. The old man's hands trembled not from exhaustion, but from the realization that he had come to respect and cherish the untamed beauty of the Marlin. In its escape, the fish had granted Santiago a different kind of victory- one that transcended the confines of a tangible catch. Santiago gazed out into the vast expanse of the sea, acknowledging that he, too, was now a part of this vast and everUnless Otherwise Noted All Content © 2022 Florida Virtual School. FlexPoint Education Cloud™ is a trademark of Florida Virtual School. changing tapestry of life. With newfound humility and reverence, he turned the skiff back towards the shore, not as a defeated man, but as one who had been touched by the majesty of the marlin. Upon returning to the village Santiago knew that he would carry the memory of this encounter with him for the rest of his days. He had learned that true victory was not always measured in conquest, but in the lessons learned from the relentless pursuit of one’s dreams. In the end, the marlin had eluded him, but it had left an indelible mark on Santiago’s soul. As he walked ashore, a smile crept across his weathered face, for he found solace in the knowledge that the sea would forever hold secrets beyond mans comprehension, and that was a gift worth cherishing Step 2: Final Draft After revising and editing your story, paste your final draft. Keep in mind, your final draft should be at least 500 words. Highlight or bold the differences between this and your first draft. Santiago's calloused hands strained as he clutched the fishing line, locked in a battle of wills with the mighty marlin. The old man's determination was unwavering, his spirit fueling the struggle, and his eyes fixated on the colossal fish dancing on the ocean's surface. The sun bore down mercilessly, reflecting the shimmering blue and silver scales of the marlin, a magnificent creature born to be free. For days, Santiago had ventured deep into the Gulf Stream, seeking redemption from his string of ill-fated catches. He was on the cusp of something extraordinary - the ultimate challenge that would redefine his legacy as a fisherman. The sea had bestowed him with this chance, and he was determined not to squander it. As the struggle intensified, Santiago could feel his strength waning. His weathered face contorted with each tug of war, but his resolve remained unshaken. The marlin's power was unmatched, its sheer size and strength awe-inspiring. Santiago couldn't help but admire the creature that embodied the spirit of the sea itself. The sun dipped below the horizon, casting a golden glow on the horizon as day turned into night. Still, Santiago refused to yield, drawing upon a well of resilience he had cultivated over a lifetime at sea. The relentless duel continued through the darkness, each moment stretching into an eternity of agony and determination. As the first rays of dawn painted the sky, Santiago sensed a change in the marlin's movements. The fish, too, was growing weary of the battle, unwilling to surrender its freedom. In a final act of defiance, the marlin summoned all its strength and made a desperate lunge for freedom. Unless Otherwise Noted All Content © 2022 Florida Virtual School. FlexPoint Education Cloud™ is a trademark of Florida Virtual School. With a tremendous surge, the marlin broke free from the fishing line, leaving Santiago stunned and disoriented. The old man's heart sank as he watched the majestic fish leap back into its natural realm, disappearing beneath the waves. For a moment, Santiago felt a sense of loss, not just for the prize that had slipped away but also for the profound connection he had formed with this creature of the deep. As the skiff rocked gently on the waves, Santiago was left adrift in a sea of emotions. He admired the marlin's tenacity, its refusal to be conquered, and understood that he had been a mere witness to a grand spectacle of nature's raw power. The old man's hands trembled, not from exhaustion, but from the realization that he had come to respect and cherish the untamed beauty of the marlin. In its escape, the fish had granted Santiago a different kind of victory - one that transcended the confines of a tangible catch. Santiago gazed out into the vast expanse of the sea, acknowledging that he, too, was now a part of this vast and everchanging tapestry of life. With newfound humility and reverence, he turned the skiff back towards the shore, not as a defeated man, but as one who had been touched by the majesty of the marlin. Upon returning to the village, Santiago knew that he would carry the memory of this encounter with him for the rest of his days. He had learned that true victory was not always measured in conquests, but in the lessons learned from the relentless pursuit of one's dreams. In the end, the marlin had eluded him, but it had left an indelible mark on Santiago's soul. As he walked ashore, a smile crept across his weathered face, for he had found solace in the knowledge that the sea would forever hold secrets beyond man's comprehension, and that was a gift worth cherishing Step 3: Explanation of Changes Summarize the changes you made to the story and why you made those changes. Label each change you summarize regarding your adjustments to language, plot, clarity, syntax, and intentional development of narrative techniques. 1. Language: In the final draft, I focused on enhancing the language to create vivid imagery and evoke emotions in the reader. I used descriptive adjectives and metaphors to paint a more detailed picture of Santiago's struggle with the marlin and to highlight the majestic nature of the fish. Unless Otherwise Noted All Content © 2022 Florida Virtual School. FlexPoint Education Cloud™ is a trademark of Florida Virtual School. 2. Plot: The central change in the plot is the twist where the marlin escapes from Santiago. This alteration adds a new dimension to the story, shifting the focus from the triumph of capturing the marlin to Santiago's deeper realization about the majesty of the sea and the importance of respecting nature. 3. Clarity: To improve clarity, I refined certain sentences and paragraphs, ensuring a smoother flow of ideas. I avoided unnecessary repetitions and clarified Santiago's emotional journey after losing the marlin. 4. Syntax: I made some adjustments to sentence structure, incorporating varying sentence lengths to create a sense of rhythm and add emphasis to certain moments. Short, punchy sentences were used during intense action scenes, while longer, descriptive sentences were employed for moments of reflection. 5. Intentional development of narrative techniques: The use of an omniscient third-person narrator allowed me to delve into Santiago's thoughts and feelings while also providing insights into the marlin's perspective. This narrative technique helps readers connect with both characters and understand the significance of the marlin's escape from different viewpoints. Overall, these changes were made to strengthen the emotional impact of the story and to emphasize the themes of respect for nature, humility, and the beauty of the sea. The marlin's escape challenges Santiago's beliefs about fishing and leads him to appreciate the majesty of the creature he pursued, ultimately transforming his perspective on life and the vastness of the natural world. Put Your Best Foot Forward Rubric On Target Almost There Needs Improvement Unless Otherwise Noted All Content © 2022 Florida Virtual School. FlexPoint Education Cloud™ is a trademark of Florida Virtual School. 60-48 points 47-36 points First and Final Draft (60 points) Explanation of Changes (30 points) 35-0 points There is a full plot structure There is a full plot structure with successful development with attempted development in in each category. each category. There are meaningful There are some changes changes between the first and between the first and final final draft. draft. At least two narrative At least one narrative techniques are intentionally technique is intentionally and and successfully successfully incorporated. incorporated. 30-24 points 23-18 points The changes are thoroughly explained using proper terminology. The changes accurately address multiple narrative techniques. 10-8 points Length, Grammar, Usage, and Mechanics (10 points) The final draft is 500 words or longer. Standard grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure rules are followed with minimal errors. The changes are partially explained using proper terminology. The changes partially address multiple narrative techniques. There is a partial plot structure with attempted development in some categories. There are minimal or no changes between the first and final draft. Narrative techniques are not intentionally incorporated. 17-0 points The changes are not explained using proper terminology. The changes do not address multiple narrative techniques. 7-6 points 5-0 points The final draft is 500 words or longer. Standard grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure rules are followed with some errors that do not impede readability. The final draft is less than 500 words. Standard grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure rules are not followed, and this affects readability. Unless Otherwise Noted All Content © 2022 Florida Virtual School. FlexPoint Education Cloud™ is a trademark of Florida Virtual School.
