Your amazing new life begins right now...
✓ Don’t have a product to sell yet? See Section XIII
to zoom from rookie status to marketing expert in a
weekend!
✓ The competition eating you alive? See Section XIV
and corner your market within weeks!
✓ How to light a fire under your prospect’s butt and
get him to order right now! Section X.
✓ Need a “hook” that will force people to read your
ads? See Section IV.
✓ Simple way to double profits overnight – Section
XII.
✓ The amazing “Gun To The Head” secret to quickly
creating the most effective advertising in the
universe. Section II.
✓ The “lazy businessman’s 3-step shortcut” to your
first killer ad! Section III.
And a ton more… all inside, all waiting for you…
What people are saying about John Carlton and
“Kick-Ass Copywriting Secrets®”
“John Carlton's unique teaching methods have won him
international fame among well-known marketers and
entrepreneurs, as well as rookie business owners grateful for
the insider advantage these proven tactics and strategies offer.”
© John S Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc
Colleagues Rave and Clients Breathlessly Report
Amazing Results That Changed Their Lives And Businesses
Literally Overnight!
Created Millions In Profit
"John has created millions in profit for us. We pitted his ads and letters
against big-city ad agencies, PR firms, and writers with lots of awards... and
John slaughtered them all. He consistently hits 'home runs' for us -- a 20-to-1
return in profit is not unusual. He has saved our butts on several occasions."
Robert Pierce, President, Tactical Response Solutions
$4 Million And A Complete Life-Change
"John, ever since we met a few years ago my life has completely changed. I'd say the amount of
money my company has made directly from what you've taught
me is in the neighborhood of 4 million dollars, maybe more.
What can I say other than thanks a million and I owe you BIG time."
Lou Vukas, Internet marketer
Doubled Sales!
"John's input on my website increased my flow of sales leads by 50%. Also,
his advice to trash my sales letter and start fresh (with very specific
instructions on how to do it) DOUBLED my sales conversion rate!
He was right -- this gets exciting, fast."
Perry Marshall, Perry S. Marshall & Associates
Massive Breakthrough Generates $70,000
"I had a massive breakthrough reading your stuff, John. Over the last 14
days, what you taught me generated an extra $20,979 in sales! Thanks
again."
Jeff Gardner, TX (Update: "After a full month, my take is now $70,000!
Note to self: Follow John's advice!")
50% More Orders
"My average order is 50% higher (and more) since I adopted your idea. I
love your outlook, and your advice cracks me up while bringing in the results."
Tom Venuto, NJ
Gary Halbert, Copywriting Legend, Says:
"John is the first guy I call when I have a marketing problem. His insights
and marketing prowess are unparalleled among the working advertising experts
I know... and I know them all. The money available, when you learn what
insiders like John has to share, is just insane. In my book, there is John... and
no one else is even close."
Gary Halbert, The Gary Halbert Letter
© John S Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc
$287,000 The First Week!
"After listening to John for less than an hour, my mind caught fire and
everything fell into place. I immediately produced my first sales letter ever...
and it brought in $287,000 the first week! You can bet I seek out his advice
every time I make a major business decision."
Rich Schefren, Strategic Profits, author of "Marketing Manifesto"
Tripled Response!
"You know that new 'hook' you insisted I try in my sales pitch? It TRIPLED
response! This translates into several hundred thousand dollars in sales
over the coming year. You are on my Christmas gift list for life, dude."
Lisa Wagner, California
Just One Tip Multiplied Response
"Using just ONE tip John gave us increased our mail response by 32%.
This means an additional $2,000 in profit for every 1000 letters."
Chris Rabalais, New Millennium Publications
Frank Kern Says:
"Just before the famous StomperNet launch, everything was in doubt. We
cornered John for advice, and in just a few minutes he provided such clarity
that the fog melted away... and I was finally able to write the pitch that
brought in over $10 million in one day. That's twice he's helped me -- long
ago, when I was broke, clueless and desperate, I somehow found John's 'Kick
Ass' course... and halfway through, a calm confidence came over me. I told
my wife that everything was going to be all right, because this really made
sense. When John talks about changing your life,
he's not kidding around."
Frank Kern, Underachiever System
Boosted Sales 70% Online
"Your headline suggestion for one of my web sites boosted sales by 70%! This
equals an extra $3,000 every month... from ONE simple change. Thanks."
Terry Dean, Internet Marketing Coach, New Castle, IN
Free Money!
"Amazing! My web site conversion rate has nearly DOUBLED, just from what you've taught
me. And guess what? Also following your advice, I tested a much higher price... and the
conversion rate was not affected at all. That's FREE MONEY without any extra work!
You were right, John."
Michael Norman, UK
© John S Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc
$726,000 More Profit
Using Just ONE Of John's Tricks!
"I've used many of your secrets and techniques in my copy, and find them to
be like little psychic vacuum machines that suck money out of customers
wallets like magic! For example: I added just one of your tactics to a
promotion for a client, and sold $65,000 more product compared to the same
promo minus that trick. Over the next 12 months, this added up to $726,000
more profit -- a huge difference, from just ONE little tactic! I could go on and
on, but your ego is big enough as it is..."
Jeff Paul, the guy behind the mega-successful
informercial "How To Make A Fortune
While Sitting In Your Kitchen In Your Underwear!"
One Tip, One New Car
"On your advice, I edited my copy using your 'Action Verbs'. This killer strategy ALONE
allowed me to buy a new car (for cash) after the first campaign!"
Dr. G.E. Nielsen, Wisconsin
"Worked So Good It Was Scary!"
"Just finished a 1,000 trial mailing with new copy using Carlton's concepts. Raked in $22,000
the first week. It worked so good it was scary."
Dr. John M. La Tourrette, OR
John Reese Says:
"John Carlton is one of the best marketers in marketing HISTORY. I have
learned a ton from him... and you should soak up everything from him
that you can. It will only help you make more money from your
Internet marketing efforts."
John Reese
1,100% ROI With One Simple Idea
"I put one simple idea I learned from John into action. The result was an immediate
1,100% return on my investment!"
Bill O'Connell
300% Profits Online
"Thanks to your critiques, my ad is a BIG winner right off the bat! It's pulling
over 300% profits online, in a hotly competitive market.
We're already on the way to seven figures, minimum."
Matt Gallant, Vancouver
© John S Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc
"I Stalk Your Ads"
Dear John: Your strategies have made me hundreds of thousands of dollars. I consider your
copywriting to be so influential on my success, that I've literally stalked your ads and sales
letters, purchased countless products and services to get on lists... solely so I could collect (and
study) the sales letters that you write. This practice has been like a real-world
'Harvard Business School' education for me. And I know dozens of millionaire business people
and successful "guru's" that quietly keep an eye on you, follow all that you do, and consider
you a major influence on their success."
Ben Cummings, Park Place Publishing, NY
"You've Helped My Ads Get Wicked-Good"
"Phenomenal content. Of all the marketing, advertising and copywriting
experts I pay attention to, John Carlton is by far the most articulate and
passionate and knowledgeable (and funny). I get more value just from your
hilarious, ballsy stories alone than from the serious efforts of most other
gurus. Man, you've helped my advertising get wicked-good."
Joe Polish, Piranha Marketing
Rodale Books Manager Says:
"John fought hard to get us to mail his sales letter for our new book. He ruffled so many
feathers pushing us past our creative 'comfort zone' that he got himself temporarily
blacklisted... until, of course, his piece not only knocked off one of our top writers, but also
mailed profitably for over 4 years to millions of names."
Sindy Berner, Production Marketing Manager, Rodale Books, PA
Million-Dollar Advice
"John's first critique of my copy was a shock -- I thought I was pretty darned
good, but he told me to rip it up and start over from scratch, using his specific
advice. I'm glad I had the sense to listen -- my first year, with
John's advice stinging in my ears, I earned over $350,000.
And this year, I'm bringing in a cool million."
Dr. Harlan Kilstein, millionaire freelance copywriter
6-Month Waiting List of Clients
"You showed me -- in the 'License To Steal' toolkit -- how to take my marketing campaign
over-the-top. This immediately created such a consistent surge of new business that I had to
increase my fees three times. My income has tripled, and your techniques allowed me to
develop a waiting list of clients that is 6 months long. When I saw some of the so-called
industry greats sitting in your seminar, following you around like a Big Buck during breeding
season, I knew I needed to suck as much info out of you as I could.
What you teach is worth 1,000 times what you charge."
Dr. Ken Newhouse
© John S Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc
Carlton Got Me FIRED
"I had a cush job at one of the world's largest ad agencies. Then I found John's materials, and
discovered the how to SELL, not just win awards. The agency hated my new style and gave
me the boot. Which was a good thing -- my first year on my own, I'm on pace to earn FOUR
TIMES my yearly salary at the agency. Thanks, John."
Matt Marshall, freelance copywriter
100% Right With Just A Glance
"It's scary how exactly on target you were with your advice based on reading just a few
pages of our sales letter. You were 100% right. We've now made over 1,000 sales, captured
wonderful customer feedback (as you advised), and are establishing national distribution."
Al Oelschlaeger, Encrypta Gifts
Pure Gold
"I've written pieces that have pulled in millions of dollars. Yet, when I sit down to write copy,
I pull out my swipe file of John Carlton's stuff, and study it like my life depended on it.
He is one of the few true experts in advertising. Pure gold."
Caleb O'Dowd, Florida
Lorrie Morgan-Ferrero Says:
"When my copywriting business was operating in the red in 2003, I bit the
bullet and and invested in John's stuff. Know why? I started making money.
Lots of it. The subtle tweaks and step-by-step systems I learned from John
shot conversion rates through the roof. And I confidently raised my fees by
60% because of everything I learned from him...
and my fees continue to rise."
Lorrie Morgan-Ferrero, Red-Hot Copy
I Use This Every Time I Write For The Web"
"My highlighter ran out 6 pages into Section 7! This course is going on my
A+ shelf of resources I use every time I write a sales letter for my web sites."
Yanik Silver, Surefire Marketing
John Helped Me Dominate An Entire Asian Market
"Studying John Carlton's writing, and adapting it to Japanese culture, has allowed me to
dominate an entire Asian market. It's just unbelievable what you can do when you learn
what's in John's amazing bag of tricks."
Markus Kuroda, Japan
Success Roadmap
"Thanks again for providing such a clear roadmap for success. I'm now faced with more
opportunity than I've ever dreamed of, and more money than I've ever made.
You gave me the impetus to act."
John Patten
© John S Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc
www.marketingrebel.com
(reprinted by permission)
“Who The Hell Is John Carlton?”
By Mark Landstrom
They call him “the secret weapon”.
Secret, because he has so far
avoided the harsh limelight of fame,
preferring to lay low and let his work do
his talking.
Weapon, because marketers lucky
enough to hire this brilliant writer have
seen profits skyrocket.
John Carlton has been a top
freelance advertising copywriter for over
25 years now. Many of his ads (both
offline and online) are legendary among
writers and clients. (He is, in fact,
called "the most ripped-off and
respected copywriter in direct
marketing".)
He brings an edginess and streetsavvy to ad writing that actually forces
you to read every word.
And the big question has always
been: “How does he pull off these
must-read, insanely-profitable
masterpieces?”
Well, he has finally published his first
“tell all” book. And he spills all the
beans. Every trick and secret and
proven tactic… from writing headturning headlines, to crafting a closing
offer you simply cannot refuse.
The Information In This Book Is
Worth A Fortune
To Anyone Who Uses – Or Needs To
Use – Advertising!
The man himself defies easy
description. He’s had an amazing
education in life, including stints as rock
and roll lead guitarist, newspaper
cartoonist, and deep-sea salmon
fisherman. He’s been a hitchhiking
hippie, a corporate executive spy, and
an “observing bohemian” in hot spots
like Silicon Valley (where he got a taste
of the power of the Internet years
before it became a viable marketing
tool), Miami Beach and Hollywood.
He’s the nicest guy you’ll ever meet
in business (when he’s not busting your
balls with his wicked sense of humor).
One of the rare ones who is honest to a
fault, generous, gracious and yet
completely unafraid to express an
unpopular opinion. He will fight for
what he believes in, and bullies clients
into doing what he knows is right. And
they love him for it.
But it’s John’s passion for studying
people that permanently raised the
ceiling on what it takes to be called
“great” in today’s mean streets of
marketing. Learning what he
understands about consumer
psychology can put your business on the
big-buck fast track.
John has never been far from the
epicenter of the direct marketing world.
He went from being the high-priced hot
shot freelancer that L.A agencies snuck
in the back door to write the pieces their
own staff couldn’t pull off… to working
on the entrepreneurial “inside” with
world-class marketing gurus like Jay
Abraham and established hall-of-fame
copywriters like Jim Rutz.
The legendary Gary Halbert (“the
world’s greatest living copywriter”)
invited John to handle the “big desk” at
his Hollywood offices on Sunset Blvd,
and during the ensuing marketing
adventures these two men changed the
© John S Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc
nature of direct response advertising
forever.
John was among the first to write
television infomercials, to advertise on
the Internet, and to mine the new
industry of videotaped information. He
says:
“I’ve had fun, brushes with death,
helped shy men accumulate fortunes,
and watched helplessly as rich
corporations came tumbling down from
their own idiocy. There’s no better way
to learn how the world works than to
roll up your sleeves and get filthy with
experience like this.
“I’ve been stupid, smart, lucky, welloff, broke, mocked, loved and
despised… and I’ve learned something
from every damn minute of it. I can
identify and relate to every type of
customer you’ll ever see. And I can sell
to them.”
In his prolific career, John has
promoted nearly every product or
service used by human beings. This
staggering list includes top financial
advice newsletters… hugely expensive
and exclusive marketing seminars
($7,000 just to attend)… a conservative
“better sex guide” with the largest
mailer in the U.S. (his control ruled for
over 5 years despite constant attempts
by other pro writers to knock it off)…
how-to-fight instructional videos from
Navy SEAL commandos and highlyskilled streetfighters (a fascinating
multi-million-dollar niche market)…
golfing advice (his famous “one-legged
golfer” ad shocked the country club
crowd)… plus reams of letters and ads
for retail businesses, self-help products,
both entrepreneurial and corporate Web
sites, doctors, real estate brokers, diets,
precious metals, fund raisers… and
“personal” letters that have motivated
people to change their lives forever.
When John’s ads (which often fill
three entire pages) run in magazines,
the whole “look” of the publication
subsequently changes… as other
advertisers pump up the size and tone
of their own ads to keep pace with
John’s hard-hitting style of raking in
profits.
His direct mail letters have long been
used all over the world as “study
guides” for great copywriting. His rare
recorded interviews are eagerly studied
by insiders. And on the Internet, a
whole new generation of marketers
have discovered that everything John
teaches works like crazy online.
His early Web pages are still copied,
both for design (he invented the "wall of
testimonials" column you see so much
today on the web pages of top
marketers) and for the use of smart,
engrossing copy using "classic
salesmanship" to demolish competition
and boost profits through the roof.
Famous "A" list advertising
copywriters and notoriously-effective
marketers have secretly sought out
John’s advice for years. Now you can
tap into this same deep well of
expertise.
This book is an astonishing
opportunity to learn insider tactics and
shortcuts used by only the best
copywriters in the business. Here is a
man used as a “secret weapon” by
multi-million dollar companies… whose
fees have caused uninitiated clients to
choke. Yet the results his ads pull are
so staggering, he is often booked a year
in advance, despite never having
advertised his services.
You are in for the ride of your life
here. As John loves to say to
newcomers who have experienced their
first taste of success: "It's FUN when
this stuff works, isn't it."
Yes, it is.
Mark Landstrom is a professional
copywriter, web designer and video
producer in San Luis Obispo, California.
© John S Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc
WARNING!
This material is unconditionally protected by copyright law.
Do not copy, photocopy, or scan. A reproduction of even a
single page is a violation of United States and international
copyright law, and voids all warranties and guarantees
immediately. Violators of this agreement will be prosecuted
to the full extent of the law.
We're not kidding.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Table of Contents
Introduction
“The Oldest Secrets In Business.”
Welcome to a fascinating and insanely lucrative world
most people will never know exists.
1…. The only limit to your success is the depth of your greed and desire.
2…. A small but very important promise I want you to make.
3…. The unchanging psychology of being human.
Section I
“The Astonishing Wealth-Building Magic Of Direct Response.”
Why almost everyone is completely wrong about what makes a good ad…
and why this is a tremendous advantage for those who know the secrets!
1…. The itch that must be scratched.
2…. Your ad is actually a master salesman, in print.
3…. The scam large ad agencies try to pull.
4…. The Function of Seduction.
5…. Appeal to his selfish desire.
Section II
“Gun To The Head Copywriting.”
10 hyper-effective secrets of a copywriter who was forced
to create successful ads…or starve!
1…. What matters is where you want to be… not where you are.
2…. The secret to creating the best advertising in the world.
3…. Get in bed with your customer.
4…. It’s all about HER needs.
5…. The most powerful word you can use in any sales pitch.
6…. Go out and eat their lunch.
7…. Your own million-dollar library of secrets.
Section III
“The Amazing ‘Lazy Businessman’s 3-Step Shortcut’ To Your
First World-Class Ad.”
How to quickly turn proven salesmanship into white-hot sales copy,
even if you flunked remedial English!
1…. Sell more people in a day than you could meet personally in a year.
2…. Bottle your perfect sales pitch.
3…. Clone yourself a hundred thousand times.
(please go to next page…)
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section IV
“How To Find The Head-Turning Hook That Reels ‘Em In.”
Be the one thing he reads today that gets his adrenaline pumping!
1…. Force people to read your ad.
2…. The one-legged golfer.
3…. SEX!
4…. The human computer.
5…. “Who cares if he’s a little nuts…”
6…. Reach out and pinch ‘em on the ass.
7…. Be the first to tell your story.
Section V
“The More You Tell, The More You Sell.”
Your ad is your salesman. Don’t gag him!
1…. Aim for their passionate sweet spot.
2…. Your ad is your door-to-door salesman.
3…. She’ll never know unless you tell her.
4…. You can’t do it with a stick up your ass.
5…. Astonish him with the truth.
Section VI
“Get It Read.”
The simple tactics of making sure your message survives her
natural aversion to advertising!
1…. Don’t try to get noticed.
2…. Who sent this mysterious envelope?
3…. Give your ad better than just a fighting chance.
4…. Full Frontal Nudity!
5…. No one in the history of civilization has ever not opened this envelope…
Section VII
“Killer Headlines.”
How to write a headline that stops your intended audience cold.
1…. How to murder your ad.
2…. Use trigger words that work as well as his name.
3…. Why hide your message behind a goofy headline?
4…. Make the client squirm.
5…. Ignore everyone but your prime targets.
6…. The skinny little golf genius who accidentally started hitting 426-yard tee shots.
Section VIII
“Tell Me Why You’re Telling Me What You’re Telling Me.”
How to use the power of “reason why” copy to overcome
all objections and make the sale!
1…. The “If-Then” introduction.
(please go to next page…)
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
2…. How to sound like you know what you’re talking about.
3…. Give her a reason to buy from you.
4…. Help him convince his wife it was a good idea.
5…. Here’s what it’s all about, Jack.
Section IX
“The Simple Wizardry Of Capturing Your Reader’s Imagination.”
How to paint pleasing pictures of what your product will do for your customer!
1…. Is it any good?
2…. What this stuff will do for the human being using it.
3…. Tickle his senses.
4…. Why your fortune depends on some basic street savvy.
5…. Power words that carry an emotional wallop.
6…. The one-two punch of blind bullets.
7…. How to eliminate skulled shots that roll too far.
8…. 40% more raw power!
9…. Instantly eliminates performance anxiety in men!
10… Let other people do your bragging for you.
Section X
“How To Close The Deal.”
Don’t forget to get paid!
1…. Get him to act right friggin’ NOW.
2…. The offer no sane man can refuse.
3…. Real salesmanship has no regard for price.
4…. What’s your stuff worth?
5…. Pitch with logic, sell on emotion.
6…. Shoulder all the risk.
7…. Light a fire under his butt!
8…. Make it easy and painless to order.
9…. Keep it simple and efficient.
Section XI
“Your Starter Menu Of Sample Letter And Ad Themes.”
Eleven world-class examples of successful direct response concepts…
plus a Proven Template for your own mega-pulling letter!
1…. Advertising doesn’t work.
2…. Use a star, a story, and a solution.
3…. Put your money where your mouth is.
4…. “I desperately need your help.”
5…. The enormous attention-grabbing power of free money.
6…. “I’ve just put $20 in your private account!”
7…. WARNING! (Watch out...)
(please go to next page…)
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
8…. Piggyback your passions.
9…. An ethical bribe.
10… Piss everyone off… and then apologize.
11… Your basic letter template.
Section XII
“Where The Real Money Is.”
Why your back end will be the most profitable part of any sale!
1…. You have no idea how eager he is to buy more from you.
2…. When he’s already got his wallet out.
3…. Nurture your customer list like a gold-egg laying goose.
4…. The aggrieved and jilted lover.
5…. The average amount of money a customer is worth to you.
Section XIII
“How To Find And Feed Your Own Flush, Hungry, Passionate Mob.”
Create a near-perfect product over a short weekend!
1…. You need something to sell.
2…. Find a hungry mob of addicts with a High Passion Index.
3…. Sell something you love.
4…. Focus on a passion you share with a famished crowd.
5…. Quickly become an expert through information.
6…. Cool knowledge most people aren’t privy to.
7…. Offer a quick fix.
8…. Marilyn Monroe’s phone number.
9…. Movement solves problems.
Section XIV
“The Marketing Rebel’s Million-Dollar Bag Of Tricks.”
57 proven sales-boosting secrets straight from the trenches!
1…. Blitzkrieg a winner.
2…. Avoid detail blunders.
3…. The “wrong fax” technique.
4…. Send no money.
5…. Buy her one out of your own pocket.
6…. Got a burning question for me?
Section XV
“Operation Moneysuck.”
Your number one job is to bring in the cash!
1…. Money will solve problems that not having money creates.
2…. Ignore most problems.
3…. The most profitable square footage in town.
(please go to next page…)
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XVI
“An Idiot’s Guide To Consumer Psychology.”
A quickie course in what makes your customer tick.
1…. Fixing what’s broken.
2…. We all want to feel special.
3…. People are sheep.
4…. “I have something here with your name on it…”
Section XVII
“When You’re Selling Yourself.”
Meat market, job market, farmers market… it’s all the same.
1…. Become an expert on self-respect.
2…. It really is this simple.
3…. Fishing in a crowded pool.
Section XVIII
“The Mysterious Force Behind Every Dollar Bill In The Universe.”
Spooky stuff, man.
1…. You’ll wonder where the money’s been hiding all this time.
2…. Letting money tell you how to live.
3…. “Screw You” cash.
4…. A heartfelt matter of painful principle.
Update Sections:
1…. Introduction -- Fresh news from "inside" the Internet marketing world.
Update Section I
"Writing For The Web."
It's different… but not in the way most marketers think it is.
1…. Why top marketers still use long copy online.
2…. The lesson of infomercials for online sellers.
3…. The secrets of street-level salesmanship.
4…. Your ad is your virtual salesman.
5…. Never bet against good long copy.
6…. Hooks, urgency and persuasion.
7…. Specific differences in online copy.
8.… Get hip to Adwords.
9…. The geniuses at Google.
10…How to use advanced "hook theory".
11…How the Web requires different copy tactics.
(please go to next page…)
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section II
"Speed-Ripping Proven Ads"
1…. The copywriting tool that will change your life.
2…. Every single ad ever written is now available.
3…. Where to find a bunch of them.
4…. How to break a killer ad down into AIDA.
5…. Ignite the interest of your reader.
6…. It's all about the salesmanship.
7…. The 3 basic sales pitch models.
Update Section III
"How To Test Online… Fast, Cheap And Easy."
1…. Test for hot markets, hot products, and hot copy.
2…. Lazy testing secrets.
3…. Why online testing is so much fun.
4…. Where rookies go wrong.
5…. Set up a hit-collector site.
6…. Test without risk.
7…. How to determine your variables for testing.
8…. Physical product versus downloads.
9…. Concentrate on getting more traffic.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
“The Oldest Secrets
In Business.”
Welcome to a fascinating and insanely lucrative world
most people will never realize exists…
Whatever you desire in life… buckets of money, the awe and respect of people
who now doubt you, a crowd of new customers, a new home, a fresh start, the love of
your life, almost anything at all… you can attain it with the powerful, simple secrets of
master salesmanship.
And when you multiply that salesmanship by using it in your advertising, you can
move the world.
In this book, I will teach you everything (almost) I’ve learned from over 20 years as
one of the highest-paid and most sought-after “secret weapon” advertising copywriters on
the planet. It will take you just a few short hours to read. And it will change your life
forever.
If you do not have a product to sell already, I will show you how to create one in a
weekend.
If you already have a business, I will show you how to send sales through the roof
literally overnight, and crush your competition within a month.
If you suck at selling, I will make you a master salesman by the end of the week.
If you cannot write to save your life, I will help you become a hot, mega-effective
copywriter inside of 11 days.
What I am about to reveal to you is the most effective and cash-rich “bag of tricks” any
marketer has ever had at his disposal. It’s easy enough to prove that these secrets are
worth millions… but in truth, they are worth kingdoms of wealth.
Your Only Limit Is
The Depth Of Your Greed And Desire.
Frankly, I am baffled why these secrets are still secret to most of the population.
What I share with you here are the advanced salesmanship techniques that have
not changed since the beginning of time. Guys in togas were using these basic principles
to earn fortunes selling chariots in ancient Rome. You’re seeing the same expert
techniques at work on late-night infomercials today, and in multi-million dollar mail
order campaigns and direct response ads that transform simple entrepreneurs into
fabulously wealthy moguls almost overnight.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Introduction-1
And you are witnessing these exact strategies (whether you realize it yet or not)
fuel the explosion of marketing success on the Internet.
I call this book “the secrets of a marketing rebel” because I work outside the
world of “conventional” advertising and marketing. I deal mostly with entrepreneurs
who do not have money to waste. Who need advertising that brings in money they can
take to the bank tomorrow… not vague public relations brownie points which carry no
real monetary value.
As a young freelancer, I was the hot-shot writer ad agencies snuck in the back door to
do the writing their own clueless “creatives” could not pull off. I learned not to trust
most of these corporative suits, because they were incompetent. They stubbornly ignored
the proven tactics of good salesmanship, and blew enormous wads of cash on bizarre arty
experiments that any true ad man would have squelched immediately.
These are the same agencies who will insist you need an ad budget of hundreds of
thousands of dollars for even the smallest project, and most of it will be spent before you
get an inkling of whether you have a success or not on your hands.
That’s just criminal, in my mind. I will not work that way.
I have become a rebel among advertisers… because I only get paid the big bucks
when my ads make money. I work primarily on commission and royalties – if what I
write increases immediate profits, I earn a fat sum in direct proportion. But because that
sum is a modest percentage of the fortune I create, everybody’s happy.
If what I write fails, I don’t make the rent.
But I’m not gambling. I only use proven (though sometimes unusual) tactics in
my ads, and I only take on clients I know I can help. The ads and letters I write are,
essentially, fabulously effective salesmen… right there on the printed page. Or on the
television set. Or on the Web. Don’t let anyone tell you one medium is different from all
the rest. It simply ain’t so.
The secrets I’m about to reveal to you are the same ones I use on every project. I
don’t work every day, and I don’t work for very long on the days I do work. You don’t
need to put in long, painful hours when you have the short-cut secrets to wealth and
happiness.
You Only Need To
Apply The Magic.
However, before we go on, I need you to promise me something. I’m not
kidding around, either. You may think you can skip this promise without consequence…
because, of course, I am not there in person to make sure you do it.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Introduction-2
But, as you will discover in Section XVIII (“The Mysterious Force Behind Every
Dollar Bill In The Universe”), there are worse things to fear than my wrath.
Here is the promise I want from you: I am about to reveal to you the Keys To
Unlimited Wealth. These secrets will rapidly change your life in ways you can only
dream about today. And I am asking you, right now, to promise me with every sincere
fiber in your heart… that you will only use these new powers in fair, legal and morally
ethical ways.
Do it. Say the words out loud. Make the promise.
Have you done it? I hope so, I really do. I want to help you attain every little
thing your heart desires… but I want you to do it the right way. When you sell things
ethically, you earn wealth and happiness. When you con people, you earn enemies and a
life on the run.
Yet, it’s just as easy to amass an ethical fortune as it is to earn the bad-blood
money of a faker.
Creating excellent products and offering outstanding service allows you to go
balls-to-the-wall in your advertising. You can back up every outrageous claim you make.
There’s no need to look over your shoulder, no need for secrecy or legal maneuvers.
Repeat business is a given.
And you’ll sleep like a baby every night.
It’s all about the ad, the secrets of master salesmanship. It’s a rather startling
realization that a great ad can sell a nonexistent product… while a bad ad couldn’t sell…
Free Gold!
Throughout the ages, many of the very same tactics and strategies used by
legitimate marketing geniuses have also been used by hyper-smart con men and
scamsters to ill ends. This has given advertising a very deserved black eye. But it does
not dilute the effectiveness of solid salesmanship one bit.
The reason: A great salesman uses the unchanging psychology of being human.
The secrets to selling anything – good or bad – is to create trust, weave a believable story,
justify the expense, and help fulfill a burning need in your customer.
That burning need is what cuts through the natural resistance we all have to
spending money – especially spending money on something we cannot hold in our hands,
which is always the case when you sell by ad or letter.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Introduction-3
That burning need overcomes all objections, all doubt, all second-thoughts. The
customer doesn’t want what you’re selling… he needs it. Urgently. Can’t wait. Must
have it. Stoking that burning need is what separates the great salesman (who becomes
wealthy) from the mediocre salesman (who will forever struggle).
Most people in business, when pressed, can get a potential customer to agree that,
yes, what you have there is certainly interesting. But they cannot “close the deal”, cannot
fuel the need enough to have cash exchange hands.
Look. You can show anyone how to hit a golf ball – you just take a club and
whack the little dimpled thing. But to play the game of golf well… to make the ball go
where you want it to… you need the inside secrets that you will not discover casually, on
your own.
It’s the same with salesmanship. The advanced, mega-powerful secrets do not
appear to you magically, just because you are now in the position of having to sell
something. You need a guide.
And that’s what I’m here for. To take you by the hand and lead you through the hell of
bad marketing and incompetent salesmanship… past the smoking wreckage of failed
businesses and ruined dreams… and directly to the sort of ethical wealth and heavenly
happiness that will bring you to tears.
And I’ll take you there right now. It’s a relatively short trip, when you know the
secrets.
Let’s get moving, all right?
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Introduction-4
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Introduction-5
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Introduction-6
Section I
“The Astonishing Wealth-Building Magic
Of Direct Response.”
Why almost everyone is completely wrong about what makes a good ad… and why this is
a tremendous advantage for anyone
who knows the secrets.
Most people – and shamefully, most so-called experts in advertising – wouldn’t know
a good ad if it bit them on the ass. The fact is, there is more incompetence in advertising
than any other field except, perhaps, psychology.
Lesson number one, kids: Great advertising – the kind that will change your life
and make you rich beyond the dreams of avarice – has more in common with…
P.T. Barnum And The National Enquirer
Than With Prime Time Television Ads.
Barnum was the circus man (Barnum & Bailey’s “The Greatest Show On Earth”) who
made a fortune by never underestimating the allure of sensationalism. A genius at
marketing impossible-to-ignore sideshows – the one-horned goat billed as a unicorn…
the bearded lady… the human pretzel. He was a man of the people, and knew what
punched their buttons. He created such an urgent sense of curiosity that crowds fought to
get into his shows.
And did you know that more people read the National Enquirer every week than
read Time, Newsweek and Reader's Digest all put together? (See back-up notes at the
end of this section for proof.) That raunchy little checkout-stand weekly tabloid sells out
across the land… and yes, even people you know read it.
The hook is the headlines on the cover. The guys who come up with them are
among the highest-paid writers in the world. When they hit a nerve, the publication flies
off the shelves. (My all-time favorite tabloid headlines are “Preacher Explodes On
Pulpit” and “Boy Eats Own Head”.)
Barnum and the writers at the National Enquirer understand human psychology. The
unrelenting power of curiosity to pull us in. The sheer pleasure in being shocked and
titillated. How to create…
An Itch
That Has To Be Scratched!
On the flip side, the vast majority of commercials and ads you come in contact with
today are put out by fancy Madison Avenue-type advertising agencies. By aloof and
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section I-1
unconnected writers and designers and other “creative” types who know nothing of
salesmanship, and who do not understand the psychology of the average man or woman.
Look… I could go on and on about this, because bad advertising makes me crazy. But
you don’t need to know the gory details of why most advertising sucks – I can shortcut
the entire process for you right here:
People do not buy because they like your cutesy slogan.
People do not buy because you’re funny, or clever, or a good artist.
People do not buy because you brag that you’re simply the best in the
universe.
And… people do not buy because you have a truly good product.
Nope. The marketing graveyard is filled with fabulous products touted by clowns who
could not make the sale. There is only one reason people are “sold” by an ad. It’s
because the ad is actually…
A Master Salesman-In-Print.
A salesman who has a solution to the most pressing problems in your life. Who
possesses secrets that will make you richer, or happier, or better looking. Who knows
how to tease your “hot buttons” to just the right level of distress… and only then offer
you sweet release through the wonders of what he is selling.
Then how, you ask, can all these high falutin’ agencies stay in business if they’re so
clueless about true salesmanship? Well, it’s simple, really.
Our culture is awash in advertising. There’s so darn much of it, you start to think
you understand it. And no one will disagree with your opinion… since everyone
“agrees” that ads are there to entertain you. More people watch the Superbowl every year
for the splashy ads than watch it for the game. (My girlfriend curls up on the couch with
a book, ignoring who’s playing and coming to life only when the commercials are on.)
And afterward, major magazines and Websites run polls on which ads people
“liked” and which they “disliked”.
Well… in 2000 there were several famous ads by dot-com companies that won
the popularity poll… but who were belly up, sales-wise, by early spring. People rate ads
by how entertained they were by them. And, of course, the only thing that really counts –
at least for the business involved…
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section I-2
Is Whether The Ad
Sold Product Or Not.
Well, you know what kind of ads sell product? It’s those hour-long infomercials
on late at night. It’s the long-copy ads in the back of magazines with a coupon in the
lower right corner. It’s the 8-page hard-hitting sales letter that arrives in your mailbox.
It’s the radio ad that starts off “Do you have dandruff? Here’s exciting news…”
And it's the single-scroll long-copy Website that wrestles your ADD into
submission and forces to read every word, watch the quickie videos, and eagerly leave
your email address so you can receive even more info from that business.
What these advertising formats have in common… is that they grab the attention
of their target audience… make an irresistible offer… and then ask for action. For a sale.
A phone call. They invite you stop by the store, pick up a free sample, order a free
report. Contact us today. Sign up for free e-newsletters and reports. And do it…
Right Now!
They ask for a response from the reader. That’s where the term “direct response”
comes from.
This request for action is what sets effective, money-making advertising apart
from the glut of horrible advertising out there. If the appeal works, people call and order
and the ad is a measurable success.
In newspapers, you can start counting money and orders the same day the ad
appears. On television, profits can start a few minutes after the ad begins. If the appeal
is a bomb, you’ll know because the phones aren’t ringing. The mailman arrives emptyhanded. But you’ll know.
There’s No Guess-Work
At All.
Think of two different salesmen walking down a street. One goes door to door,
talks with people, makes his pitch and asks for an order. If what he’s doing is working,
he will have a pocket stuffed with cash and orders. If his pitch is a bomb, he’ll know
because his pockets are empty.
The other salesman just walks along the sidewalk, hollering at every house he
passes. He will never know if what he’s saying has any effect at all. He won’t be able to
tell you if he earned even a single new customer.
This is why the big advertising agencies are scared to death of direct response
advertising. They figured out long ago that as long as they never asked for any
measurable action in the ads they created, no one could ever accuse their ads of failing.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section I-3
The success of their work, they claim, is in the mystery of “brand awareness”, which they
try to prove in focus groups.
It Is
A Scam.
It’s a scandal much worse than those $800 toilet seats the Pentagon got busted for.
The culture of big city ad agencies is incestuous – writers who do not know how to sell
teach the new writers the “art” of corporate advertising. Be funny. Entertain. Use lots of
expensive special effects, and spend a lot of time finding the right music. Make ads that
amuse, and maybe people will say your product is cool. Come up with clever slogans. If
a pun is involved, so much the better.
At the end of the fiscal year, if sales spike at all, you’re a hero. If they tank,
well… the great game among big-spending companies is to fire your ad agency regularly
and get courted by the other agencies until you find one you like.
Of course, since the head of the company doing the hiring understands advertising
no better than anyone else – like the tone-deaf trying to judge the complexity of a sax
solo – the winning agency is irrelevant. More funny, shouting, obnoxious ads that do not
sell are created.
And no one can ever tell if they work.
Oh, damn. I told you I wasn’t going to go on and on about the idiocy of most
advertising, didn’t I. And here I am, going on and on. Shame on me.
But I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t make sure you get the point. If you are
already a convert, and realize in your heart (or from experience) that world-class
salesmanship involves actually asking for action, then you’re done with this section.
If you’re still unconvinced that so much advertising you see – created at such
great expense – could be so bad, right under everyone’s nose… let me offer one more
argument. I call it…
The Function
Of Seduction.
This little secret has put over a million bucks in my pocket over the years, so pay
attention.
We are, all of us, selfish little creatures. This is neither a good thing nor a bad thing. It
simply is something the smart salesman understands.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section I-4
If I try to sell you something, you will resist. It’s natural. Imagine the fate of the
man who could not say “no” to a sales request. He would be bankrupt by noon. It’s not
in your best interest to buy everything you come across.
If I try to sell you something, you will resist. However, if I get your attention…
…if I offer you something that feeds a hunger deep inside you… or solves a
perplexing problem that haunts your days…
…if I describe a deal where you risk nothing, and yet stand to gain a great deal…
…if I sympathize with your resistance, understand your qualms and doubts, and
answer every one of your questions honestly…
…if I clearly show you how you can become richer, happier, healthier, all in the
fastest and easiest manner possible…
…and if you believe and trust me, and are certain the risks are miniscule and the
reward mind-blowing… then your resistance may weaken. You may give it a try,
especially if I’ve made it clear you can change your mind later.
You just might decide, all on your own, to see what all the fuss is about.
That’s seduction, friend. Most ads out there say, in effect, “Hey, I’ve
entertained you, so won’t you go find my product and buy it? People will think you’re
cool, I swear it.” They preen and brag and show off, and expect you to fall down at their
feet. And go do some footwork to find the product. (Many a failed business owner has
been shocked – shocked – to discover that people will not hunt for his product, no matter
how good it is.)
The great salesman knows better. He knows people are rightfully skeptical. And
busy. And utterly unconcerned with what you want. They are far too involved in their
own lives and needs.
But they can be convinced, when the facts are explained, when the risk is taken
away, when their deepest, most selfish desires have been tickled and nurtured and
seduced. When…
It Suddenly Makes Sense
To Be Convinced.
Your customers are just like you, and you are just like them. You don’t respond
to boasting, self-righteous or silly clowns who make you feel like a sucker. Neither will
your customers.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section I-5
If you’re going to ask for someone’s money… or their vote… or their hand in
marriage…
You Must Appeal To
Their Selfish Desires!
You must be a salesman.
One final thought: Rejoice in the fact that most people haven’t got a clue about what
makes good advertising. This puts you in rare company when you finally do understand
the secrets. Let the rest of the world go about their foolish ways. You’re about to be
very busy keeping track of your new wealth.
Back-up Notes About Magazine Circulation: I do not have the most recent circulation
figures for the publications I listed at the beginning of this section… but the MPA
(Magazine Publishers of America) was nice enough to post the rankings from several
years ago online.
(I just Googled them again, to double-check. And, yep, the figures back up that
startling truth of the National Enquirer -- with all its outrageous, P.T. Barnum-type hooks
-- outselling other mags by a whopping margin.)
In 1998, the National Enquirer ranked #5 among all magazines, with a circulation
of 1,788,162. That's per week. (And this isn't even counting up all the other similar
magazines like the Star, World Weekly News, and other tabloids.)
Reader's Digest was #16, at 681,144… Time was #83, at 170,043… and
Newsweek was #87, at 164,719.
Not even close. Add up all three of the also-rans, and the number of Nat Enq
readers dwarfs them.
This kind of reality-based knowledge helps squelch the bad "common wisdom"
most people believe about how the world works.
To become a successful business owner, you must dig deeper than "what seems
right", and find the truth. It shall set you free… and also fuel your profits.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section I-6
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section I-7
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section I-8
Section II
“Gun To The Head Copywriting.”
10 hyper-effective secrets of a copywriter who was forced to create successful ads… or
starve.
I became a freelance copywriter after years of stumbling around blindly and
largely being a clueless wanderer.
I’ve held some of most horrible jobs in the world, made a few sullen stabs at various
inappropriate careers. (I’ll tell you sometime about my years as a color-blind graphic
artist in Silicon Valley, or logging 13 seasick hours a day on a leaky little boat trying to
find salmon schools in icy Pacific storms.) Botched up enough relationships to fuel my
own soap opera, and lived in more places than I can clearly remember. Frittered away
one bloodless opportunity after another. Just couldn’t get settled in a normal life.
I tell you this to illustrate a point. It doesn’t matter where you are now in life. It
really doesn’t. What matters is…
Where You Want To Be.
Why? Because… once you discover the secrets of attaining goals – something no
school on the planet teaches – it’s a short step to the realization you can do almost
anything you want to do. Be whoever you want to be. Give wings to your ambition.
You can do this.
I did not get into copywriting because I was invited. I am not a born salesman. I
come from a working class family who used their hands and their backs to earn a living.
I had never even met a real freelancer before I became one.
Nope. I became a freelancer out of sheer desperation. The business world kept
spitting me out. I was a bad employee, always challenging authority and bristling at the
restraints of the 9-to-5 culture. I loathe wearing ties. And I often do my best work late at
night, long after the normal workday has ended. The rules and bureaucracy and
conformity of corporate life felt like a straight jacket.
When I finally went solo, in my early thirties, I had pretty much painted myself
into a corner. I’d burned bridges. I couldn’t stomach another day of slaving away…
To Make
Someone Else Rich.
It was “make it or break it” time for ol’ Johnny C.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section II-1
Here is the state I entered my freelance career: I had enough savings for one more
month’s rent… a last tank full of gas in my rattletrap car… a beat-to-shit Olivetti electric
typewriter (with a sticky “f” key)… and a lead on some books that might help me. (I’ve
listed them for you at the end of this chapter.)
All in all, my situation gave me a very unique feeling. As if someone were
holding a gun to my head. I had to succeed as an advertising writer… because I had
nowhere else to go.
Well… without quite understanding it at the time… I had stumbled upon the
mind-set that is…
The Secret To Creating
The Best Advertising In The World!
That feeling of working without a net didn’t make me panic. Instead, I felt eerily
calm. I didn’t have a lot of decisions to grieve over. It was pretty simple: I had to create
successful ads, or starve.
As it turned out, most of my first jobs (gotten through the L.A. Times classified
section) were for desperate business owners who were in the same boat. My ads had to
bring in money, or they were looking at the poorhouse, too.
I call the mind-set I was in “gun to your head writing”, and I use it to this day to
keep myself in line. Let me tell you how you think, when you have no choice but to
create advertising that works:
You do not experiment. Instead, you rely on proven methods that have already
worked in similar situations.
You do not get “creative” with your words. When you cannot risk losing a
potential customer because you have offended, confused or alienated her, you
choose your words very carefully.
You make your message as clear as humanly possible. You do not use
metaphors or puns, or rely on the reader to finish your thought for you. You
complete every thought.
And… you stick to proven salesmanship. You seek to meet your reader’s needs
(not yours)… you cover all objections to the sale… you hold interest, and tease
desire… and you make it easy for her to order.
And, when you’re done, you go back and make sure you’ve done it right. Then you
check it again, making sure your phone number is correct, making sure the phone line is
working, making sure every detail has been covered.
You’re writing an ad. You’re not creating great literature. The response you
want from your reader is not “Gee, that’s a great ad”, but…
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section II-2
“Hey! I WANT This!”
How do you adopt this “gun to your head” philosophy? You take to heart – and
use, every time – these simple strategies:
1. Don’t toy with your own life. Ask yourself: Would I use this word… this
sentence… this paragraph… if my life depended on the success of this ad? If you doubt
the sales-worthiness of what you’ve just written, toss it and start again. Never gamble
that the reader will “figure out what you mean”. Be clear. Be sincere. Make your case.
2. Every statement must pass the “So What” test. Anytime your reader says to
himself, “So what?”, you’ve lost him. People will NOT be bored or confused while
reading advertising. Be absolutely brutal with yourself. People will read lots and lots of
copy about subjects they are interested in… but they will shrug and move on to
something else the second you lose their interest.
3. Get in bed with your customer. One of the dumbest things a marketer can do is to
go after a customer he doesn’t respect. Or feels superior to.
This is nonsense, and will lead you straight to bankruptcy. Your NUMBER ONE
job as a marketer is to get in synch with your customer’s innermost desires. You should
read what he reads. Watch the same television shows, listen to the same music, eat at the
same restaurants. You cannot understand her dreams and worries unless you feel
comfortable moving in her world.
And you can’t do that sitting in a cozy office on the ninth floor.
Become a student of human nature. Get out there and talk to mechanics, 7-11
clerks, secretaries, retired jet pilots, new home owners, day care workers. If you’re
selling a diet, and you’ve never had a weight problem, you better find out quick what
goes on in the head of someone who does. You won’t win them over by making jokes.
Have you ever watched a Richard Simmons infomercial? Large women collapse into his
arms, sobbing with joy at finally finding someone who…
Understands Them!
Every human on the planet has the same basic menu of needs and desires. I hear
over and over again from business owners that “my customers are different.” They are
not different. They’re human beings. They’re buying what you offer because it feeds an
important need deep inside them.
That said, you cannot often guess what will most motivate a customer base. Not
unless you truly understand them. Remember this:
It’s A Mess To Guess!
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section II-3
I have friends who attend Alcoholics Anonymous. You want to understand how
deep a need can go, talk to an AA veteran. A drunk will sacrifice job, family, friends and
self-respect for another beer, even when it makes him physically sick to continue
drinking. The power of desire can trump survival.
Think of what you have risked to get what you wanted. Was there a Lucretia
McEvil in your past, who you pursued with breathless lust despite death threats from her
father? Was there a car, or a job, or an adventure that you would literally do anything to
have? Get in touch with your own passions. Passion is the driving force of the world.
4. It’s all about HER needs. And his, of course. Your customer may think you’re a
swell guy, salt of the earth and a real role model. But you’ll never get him to buy unless
you appeal to his selfish needs.
He couldn’t care less if it’s your Grand Opening… unless he can get something
for nothing. She yawns when you announce a new product… unless you specifically
show her how it will increase her appeal to the opposite sex. And no one cares at all
that you just hit a huge milestone in your business… unless you’re hosting the party of
the year to celebrate, and they’re getting one of a handful of invitations that people are
willing to kill for.
“Selfish” is not a bad word in marketing. It is simply the realization that no
matter how important you think your needs are… the other guy disagrees. It is his needs
that rank number one.
Understand what moves a man, and you can move him. Here’s the list of basic
needs I work from, with examples of how to use them:
Greed: Too much is never enough for most folks. Everyone can point to
someone else who’s richer, healthier, sexier and more respected. And yes, every
one of us would very much like to have it all. Right now. In fact, make it a
double. “Here’s a simple, idiot-proof way to quadruple your income over the next
45 days… without working an extra hour!”
A better deal: One of the hottest appeals I ever stumbled on was the phrase “and
you can have it for half of what everyone else has to pay”. Never underestimate
the lure of a genuine bargain… and the opportunity to lord that bargain over your
neighbor and buddies.
Sex, love, and intimacy: Americans crave, fear, hate and desire sex, often all at
the same time. This conflict keeps it right at the top of most people’s list, burning
a hole in their cerebral cortex. (I’ve heard that most men spend up to half of
every waking hour in some sort of sexual thought or twinge. I have no idea what
they’re wasting the other half-hour on.) It’s a primary drive, right up there with
food and shelter. “New herbal drink safely boosts your sex drive through the
roof, while releasing a natural pheromone that makes you irresistible to the
opposite sex.”
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section II-4
Health: It’s well known among smart marketers that most people will not spend
a nickel to prevent illness… but will empty their bank accounts to be healed once
something goes sour. You can’t sell a young man on living forever, but you can
make a fortune offering an oldster another shot at feeling like a teenager again.
“Atlanta housewife discovers amazing cure for arthritis while picking peaches
from her backyard tree.”
Self-improvement: Most people absolutely despise where they’re at right now in
life. They’re tired, overwhelmed, depressed and unfulfilled. Show them how to
make it all better, and they will flock to you. “How to instantly jumpstart the
quality of your social life… simply by tweaking a tiny aspect of your
personality.”
Fear: It’s been shown that you can’t sell toothpaste by making people afraid of
cavities. It’s the blazing white smile that attracts. Mostly, you want to help your
prospect see a pleasing picture of the good life you can offer, not the nasty hell
that awaits if they refuse. But fear of losing out is still very strong in all of us.
Just attach that fear to a happy ending: “New risk-free way to lock-in the value of
your portfolio during the coming market crash… and how to earn a fortune
picking up stock bargains for pennies on the dollar while everyone else scrambles
to survive.”
Respect: No one gets the respect they truly feel they deserve. We’re all
misunderstood, and damn pissed off about it, too. Can you offer a way to make
people take notice of him when he enters a room? “How to quickly win the
respect and trust of powerful people.”
Pleasure: Have you ever watched the face of a child engaged in a favorite game?
Well, adults often lose the ability to abandon themselves in pure enjoyment, but
they never lose the craving for that kind of bliss. “’I’ve never laughed so hard in
my life’ – secrets of the happiest people in the world.”
A very important copy point: The most powerful word you can use in any sales
pitch is…
“You.”
It’s music to the ears of your reader. She doesn’t care what you think, what you
need, or what you find interesting. She cares – and cares very deeply – about what she
thinks, and needs, and finds interesting.
Use the word “you” in almost every sentence. You’re talking to a human being.
5. Have sympathy for his natural skepticism. No matter how good your product is, no
matter how honest you are, or how great the deal actually is… your customer will not roll
over and play dead just because you asked nice. They don’t believe you. They don’t
believe the deal. They are constantly hit on by advertising – on the radio, in the
newspaper, on television, while surfing the Web… heck, there are plans to launch loworbiting satellites that will cruise overhead flashing ads all night long. No one can afford
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to believe you. Use that disbelief. Confront it: “Does this seem too good to be true? I
sure thought so myself when I first discovered it. But what convinced me was…”
6. Find a parade and get in front of it. Never try to create demand. Instead, feed an
existing hunger. People already know (unconsciously) what they want, and they reveal it
every day by paying for it. If you need to educate anyone as to why they need your
product, you’ve already lost. Your job is to convince them you can help them do what
they already have a mind to do, a better way.
7. Romance the hell out of them. I don’t care if you’re Elmer Fudd in real life… when
you’re trying to connect with paying customers, you’re now the dashing, irrepressible
Don Juan Of Selling. Seduce smoothly… and never be a bragging, obnoxious jerk. Your
job is to ignite the passion in your reader’s heart.
Passion is the single common denominator that ties us all together. We all want it…
we gravitate to it and revere those who have it. We respond to it. We want it back when
we’ve lost it. It’s the best natural high anyone has ever experienced. Be passionate about
what you sell. If you cannot work up a lather, find something that does excite you.
8. Steal, spy and swipe. Do you have competition who are doing much better than you
are right now? For God’s sake, find out why. If they’re appearing again and again in
certain magazines, then YOU start putting ads there. Find out what lists they’re mailing
over and over again. Place an order with the competition, and see how they handle
customers on the phone. Copy their sales techniques, if they’re better than yours. If
they’re blazing a trail to wealth and success, stay in their wheel tracks. When you see
them appear in a new media, and then they don’t repeat that appearance… you’ve just
saved yourself the trouble of testing those waters. Watch ‘em like a hawk.
Examine their products, the way they’re shipped to you, how quickly they arrive.
Keep track of how often they contact you for other sales. Chart their “battle tactics” for
getting and keeping a satisfied customer.
Start a “swipe file” of great ads from competitors and non-competitors who have
good ideas.
Don’t ever be shy about using everything (legal) at your disposal to win. If
there’s room in your market for the two of you to both win big, then fine. If there’s only
room for one, make sure you’re the last one standing. Never pretend you’re alone in your
market, unless you really are. And when you find an opening…
Go Out And
Eat Their Lunch.
9. Make your copy a “greased slide”. The greatest ads ever written are just like a
greased slide. The reader gets on at the beginning, and is rushed at a giddy pace straight
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through every page, until he arrives at the close, breathless and so excited that he can’t
wait to get his money out and buy your product.
That means you don’t go off on any tangents that interrupt the slide. Every point
you make must be an emotionally logical step in the exact direction you want your
reader to go – and that direction is always the same. You want action. You want the
sale. You want to fill every one her needs, counter every one of her objections, hit every
one of her “hot buttons”.
10. Study great advertising. Finally, here’s the list of books I’ve had in my
professional library for over twenty years. I’m always looking, always hoping to find
new and better ones… but I am always astonished at the wisdom and the skills available
in these few books:
Tested Advertising Methods, by John Caples
Scientific Advertising/My Life In Advertising, by Claude Hopkins
How To Write A Great Advertisement, by Victor Schwaab
Maximum Money In Minimum Time, by Gary Halbert
The Lazy Man’s Way To Riches, by Joe Karbo
Think And Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill
I used to give out information on where to find these books, but since some of
them go in and out of print on a regular basis, I refer you to the Web. Amazon.com can
track down pretty much every title that has ever been published.
And for God’s sake, don’t be put off by the fact that some of these books are
ancient. Claude Hopkins wrote his two books (published together as one) in 1924, yet
almost every point he makes is still as timely today as it was then. Remember – the basic
skills of great copywriting are pure salesmanship. And salesmanship hasn’t changed
since the dawn of man.
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Notes
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Notes
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Notes
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Section III
“The Amazing ‘Lazy Businessman’s
3-Step Shortcut’ To Your First
World-Class Ad.”
How to quickly turn proven salesmanship into white-hot sales copy,
even if you flunked remedial English.
If you already have a business or product, and you know how to sweep a
customer off his feet in face-to-face selling… then you are just a few hours away from
creating perhaps the most effective advertising your business will ever have.
I’m proud to admit I stole this technique from the great Gary Halbert. Gary was a
genius marketer, and if you’re going to filch ideas, make sure you steal from the best.
The idea is exquisitely simple, and a snap to explain:
1. It is easier to turn an illiterate master salesman into a top copywriter… than it is to
turn an English Literature Ph.D. into a salesman. Sales ability trumps writing
ability every single time.
2. If you can close one customer in person, you possess the key to selling thousands
of other customers at the very same time. And…
3. The way to multiply your efforts is to simply “bottle” your proven sales pitch and
translate it into a written ad.
Advertising is just “salesmanship multiplied” by applying it to print. The pitch you use
to sell someone standing in front of you is almost identical to the pitch you will use in ads
that reach huge numbers of people.
A great salesman meeting customers one at a time is severely limited in the number of
sales he will be able to make each day. But a great ad will work 24/7 for you…
Selling More People In A Day
Than You Could Meet Personally In A Year!
Here’s how the technique works: First, record your pitch. You, or whoever is
the best salesman in your business. Record the pitch as it happens with actual customers,
where it happens. On the phone, on the showroom floor, over lunch. Radio Shack can
set you up for thirty bucks with the right equipment. (All you need is a small recorder,
using either digital audio files or old-school analog cassette tapes, and an extra cord to
catch conversations on your phone.)
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You’ll probably have to record the pitch several times. At first, you’ll be selfconscious about being “on stage”. After a few hesitant starts, however, you’ll forget
about being taped and go into cruise control with your pitch.
That audio you end up with is solid gold, my friend.
The second step is to have the audio transcribed. Have someone type it up, word for
word. (You can find super-cheap transcription services on www.elance.com.)
Edit it, taking out all the um’s and aaah’s and stuttering. Take out irrelevant chatting
(“would you like some coffee?”) and places where you repeat yourself. Smooth out each
sentence where you stumble around saying “it’s like, well, it’s like, I mean, let me put it
this way…”.
Take out everything the customer says unless he is asking a question. Use his questions
to overcome objections: “But isn’t it too expensive? That’s a common question. Here’s
the answer:”.
Now arrange each sentence in a logical order. Often, when you sell face-to-face, you
skip around and don’t necessarily present your pitch in the best order. Here’s your
chance to create the perfect sales pitch. “Here’s why you’ll love owning this product…”
“Here’s what it will do for you…” “Here’s why most people buy two…” Badda boom,
badda bing.
The third, and final step, is to make your perfect pitch look like…
A Letter.
Yes, even though you end up using this strategy for your Website, or a print ad in
a magazine, or even a video or audio file posted on your blog. The classic letter is a
proven method of primo communication -- exactly the model you want to follow when
wooing a fresh prospect.
And don't worry if you've never actually written a "real" letter before. It's become
a lost art. Still, it's such a killer format, that ALL top copywriters rely on it when they
absolutely have to communicate clearly and effectively to sell.
Just follow these directions:
You start off with “Dear Bob Jones”, introduce yourself (“My name is Bucko
Smith”) and begin making your case (“Can I help you find the perfect widget for your
needs?”).
Don’t worry about the length of your letter. The average sales letter I write is
around 8 pages long. I once wrote a 23-page letter to bodybuilders about a new
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supplement. (It mailed successfully for years.) On the Internet, I've had single-scroll
Websites go on for over 30 manuscript pages, bringing in massive results.
I’ll give you plenty of tips later on how to guarantee your letter gets read.
But right now, you’re simply translating your pitch onto paper.
Now, yes, you must make allowances for the fact your customer is not sitting
across from you. You cannot read his eyes, you cannot see how well or poorly he is
dressed, and you cannot ask him set-up questions.
Just make your best pitch to what appeals to the broadest section of your
customer base. Assume you are talking to the average buyer – explain how you can fill
the average person’s needs, and meet the most common objections.
After you’ve made your pitch, make sure you have a paragraph that explains
clearly how to order. Put in your phone number, what to tell whoever answers, what
credit cards you take, where to send checks and money orders (and who to make them out
to). Include a detachable coupon where he can write down all pertinent shipping
information (if he’s mailing payment in), plus a stamped envelope with your address on
it. If you need more help, you’ll find it in Section XII (“Close The Deal”).
Sign your name at the end, and you’re pretty much done. Mail this letter to
prospects in a plain white envelope with a first class stamp. (See Section VIII: “Get It
Read.”) Or post it on your Website. (You won't be able to personalize your salutation -no "Dear Bob Jones" -- but you can still use the power of this kind of communication, by
using "Dear Friend", or even "Hi…". Yes, it's corny. And yes, it works.)
Think about what you’ve just accomplished, in only a few short hours. You
have taken a proven sales pitch and “bottled” it. You have translated it to the written
page, and you can mail it to as many potential customers as you like. They will have in
their hands the transcription of your best effort.
It’s Like Cloning Yourself
A Hundred Thousand Times.
Now, be smart about this. Maybe you don’t want to make the sale in the letter – if
that’s the case, then your “close” may be to invite the customer to call you. Give your
number, tell them when to call and who to ask for. Or tell them you’ll call Friday around
two.
Or, online, ask for their email, so you can send more info. Or send them to a
shopping cart, where they can use their credit card or PayPal account to buy now.
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Each medium you use to get this letter in front of your prospect has different
"actions" you can use to further the sales process. We'll discuss your options for multistep selling a lot more in the coming sections.
You’re a salesman. Use your savvy to make the letter do a job that leads to a sale.
Two final thoughts: This recording will also be the best training tool for newbie
salespeople you ever have. It allows you to clone yourself as a mentor.
There is also another cool sales tactic you can use with the audio. Just dupe it and
send it out (as an MP3 or CD) with a cover letter to hot prospects: “Hi. I’ve enclosed an
audio version of an interesting conversation I just had with someone very much like
you…” Of course, you’ll have to get the permission of the person you recorded. But
don’t experiment with sending out audio until you’ve sent out your transcribed letter first.
This strategy is perfect for podcasts.
In the next sections, you’re going to learn all the details of increasing the effectiveness
of an ad. Everything in my “Million Dollar Bag Of Tricks”. Each simple little step you
take leads you closer to creating the most effective advertising you could ever have.
And see? So far, it’s just as painless and easy as I promised.
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Notes
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Notes
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Section IV
“How To Find The Head-Turning Hook
That Reels ‘Em In.”
Be the one thing your prospect reads today that
gets his adrenaline pumping.
Before you write a single word for your ad, you want to do some serious
sleuthing behind the scenes.
I call it being a sales detective. What you’re looking for is the “hook” for your
message – that unique (and usually human-oriented) piece of the sales story that arouses
burning curiosity, and drags the reader into your copy like a landed Rainbow trout. A
great hook – especially in your headline…
Will FORCE People
To Read Your Ad.
It’s the key to writing a big winner. Some of my best ads contained hooks that are
now legendary, part of the mythology of direct response advertising. When you find a
good one, you’ll know it… because the phones will ring for years.
Here’s how to do it: First, as I said, you gotta get into a Bogart-like “gumshoe”
frame of mind.
You’re going on a search for a detail of the product or business you’re writing
about… that no one else has paid any attention to. Gather about you all the sales
literature, service manuals, and other written materials you can find. Read them to get a
“feel” for the product.
You won’t find your hook here, however. No one’s written about the hook yet.
No, the only reason to read all that stuff is to…
Know How To Walk The Walk
And Talk The Talk.
You want to be completely conversant in the details of the product, the jargon, the
features, the numbers, everything. Because… you’re now going fishing for the human
connection in all of this. The eye-popping piece of the story that will jar even the most
distracted reader into full attention.
Think of it as a little game of “connect the dots”.
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Because you’re now going to interview everyone you can reach who has “insider”
knowledge of the product. The guys who manufacture it, sell it… and especially the guys
who created it in the first place. The people who do it every day, who breathe, sleep and
eat the lifestyle. (If you’re the sole person behind your product, you still want to follow
these steps. You’ll have to literally “interview yourself”. Because as close as you are to
your business… you still haven’t found your own hook yet.)
Got your suspects lined up? Good. Now, you’re going to pump them for information,
following these few simple rules:
1. You’re searching for human interest tidbits – small yet fascinating pieces of
information – that are unusual (such as an accidental discovery by someone)…
provocative (perhaps some smuggled or stolen information)… titillating (such as
gossip-worthy rumors)… or intriguing (like an eccentric habit or trait). Go buy a
few issues of The National Enquirer for inspiration. Imagine you’re going to
write a sensational cover headline about your product for the next issue.
2. Do not expect the people you talk with to come up with these tidbits of
sensational information. Don’t ask them to. Just talk to them about their jobs.
Ask for their own personal stories about the product. Their favorite funny or
outrageous rumor on the job. Don’t let them fall into any rehearsed “party line”
conversation – you want to talk to them as if you’d just met in a bar, and thought
everything they said was the most fascinating story you’ve ever heard. Everyone
loves to talk about what they do, and everyone they know is sick of listening to
them. Be the most attentive ear they’ve ever had. Get ‘em to spill the beans.
3. You’ll find your hook at the very moment you sit up and say “Wait a minute.
Back up. You did what?” Or…
“You’ve Got To Be Kidding Me!”
Let me give you an example. Many years ago, I was interviewing a slightly
crazed golf instructor who had just completed a training video. He swore he could teach
anyone how to hit the ball straight and incredibly far. He certainly had some great
success stories to brag about.
But there was no hook. So far, it was just another instructional video. Ho hum.
And then, half an hour into the conversation, I asked him where the inspiration for
his new swing came from. He said, “Oh, back a few years, I saw this one-legged man hit
a dead-solid perfect drive, and I realized that a two-legged golfer could benefit from the
adjusted balancing he did…”
“Wait a minute,” I said. “You got your swing from a one-legged golfer? Are you
kidding me?”
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He was not. Immediately, I knew I had my hook. Here’s the headline I wrote:
Amazing Secret Discovered By One-Legged Golfer
Adds 50 Yards To Your Drives, Eliminates Hooks And
Slices… And Can Slash Up To 10 Stokes From Your Game
Almost Overnight!
This ad has run successfully for over 12 years -- as a print ad, as a direct mail
letter, AND as a Website sales page. As you can imagine, golfers tend to be a fairly
conservative bunch… and my clients were a little nervous about this hook. Would your
average dignified golfer really read such an outrageous ad?
Are you kidding?
Yes, even humorless, serious golfers feel compelled to read this ad. Because it’s
an outrageous-sounding story… and also because the hook is loaded with personal
benefits the reader can use.
However, there’s a flip side to using this kind of sensationalism. You have to
honestly and sincerely fulfill on the promise in your headline. The reader now has a
burning curiosity brewing, and he wants it quenched. So, your hook must have…
A Legitimate Payoff.
Here’s how I explained the one-legged golfer hook in that ad. This paragraph is
in the middle of page 2:
Milt actually felt sorry for the one-legged
man who was teeing up for his first shot… until he
saw him drive the ball 320 yards dead center down
the fairway, while maintaining a smooth grace even
his two-legged companions couldn’t manage! Imagine
how this one-legged man must have looked standing
up to the ball, swinging back and following
through. Milt was sure the poor guy should have
fallen over.
But he didn’t. In fact, his balance was
absolutely impeccable… and in a flash of insight,
Milt saw the truth:
This One-Legged Man Actually
Had An Advantage Over Normal Golfers!
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And then I go into the balance secrets of the “triple coil swing”, which relies on
loading your body with naturally-coiled tension and a lot of other neat stuff. Stuff no one
would have read about if the hook hadn’t worked so well bringing them into the ad.
This ad still pulls like crazy, even after 12 years. And it made “Milt” – a fairly
whacked-out, irascible and difficult man -- very famous.
It's also one of the ads that created my reputation as "the most respected and
ripped-off copywriter on the Web"… because so many online entrepreneurs nicked it for
their own products. (It adapts easily to almost any market… as long as you have a hook.)
The best hooks are almost always overlooked by the average writer. When you’re
too close to a subject or business, you take for granted many things that would cause
outsiders to gasp. “Milt” honestly didn’t think the story about the one-legged golfer was
all that unusual – it was old news to him, and he never stepped back to take a longer view
of the possible appeal.
People, however, are never bored by unusual stories. The skinny kid who
discovered a fast way to pack on muscle. The business owner who turned disaster into
riches. The ancient doctor who stumbled on a way to add ten super-healthy years to your
life.
These types of stories are startling in the news they deliver… with an ironic twist
to them. The weak dominate. The failure succeeds. The old recapture youth.
A good hook is even more important if you’re selling something dry. Say, if
you’re a tax attorney… or a carpet cleaner… or an auto parts supplier. Where’s the
romance in these businesses?
Well… that’s the whole point. People may need tax help, but tend to avoid the
issue because they think it’s boring and tedious. You’re not going to get them whooping
and dancing for joy with an ad that says “I’ll Help You Do Your Taxes Better”.
However… you just might get the phones ringing with ad that starts out…
Tax-Slashing Secrets Of A College Drop-Out
Who Scares The IRS To Death!
Okay, so maybe the tax expert dropped out for only a semester and then finished
his education on his own… but the fact that he routinely gets the IRS to drop audits of his
clients is a story that needs telling.
Carpet cleaning is dull, dull, dull. Right? Well… how about:
Local Carpet Cleaner Guarantees
To Stop Your Allergies… Or
He Will Clean Every Rug In Your House
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For FREE!
This is an example of a “unique sales position”. There’s nothing intriguing about
the guy cleaning the carpets… but the story behind his outrageous guarantee is actually
pretty darned sensational. It sets him apart from every other carpet cleaner in town –
makes him “unique”. If you need carpets cleaned, you’re going to consider this offer.
On to auto parts:
Wife Of Auto Parts Store Owner
Swears Under Oath She Did Not
Use Sex To Get These Great Deals
From Suppliers!
The greatest joy a copywriter can find is a client willing to come clean in their
advertising… even if it’s a little embarrassing. Perhaps the lady in this story once dated
the head supplier of windshield wipers for the West coast. But that’s not why they’re
getting such great discounts – rather, they’ve simply slashed their profit percentage. And
all the savings go to the customer.
Grab your reader’s attention… and then immediately bring your point home with
benefits he can use. There is no subject or personality in the world that doesn’t have
some kind of twist that will interest people. You’ll find it if you look.
Big-time warning, however: The wrong way to use a sensational hook is to fool
the reader. That’s a no-no. There’s a notorious little ad trick that pops up in newspapers
every few years… though it never runs for long. The headline is:
SEX!
And then the copy reads: “Now that I’ve got your undivided attention, I want to
tell you about a great opportunity in life insurance…”
And the reader shakes his head and moves along. Sex will sell product – but only
if there is a relevant tie-in. (By the way, did you know that “sex” is the number one word
put into Internet search engines? You may want to tuck that piece of info away
somewhere.)
Here’s a headline I wrote for a book that was, essentially, just a bunch of
interviews with people about what they liked and didn’t like sexually:
The Astonishing Sex Secrets Of The
Most Satisfied… Most Knowledgeable…
And Most Respected Lovers In The World!
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The client – Rodale Press, one of the largest (and most conservative) mailers on
the planet – fought me tooth and nail over that headline. Finally, they relented and
agreed to “test” it.
And it mailed steadily (and very profitably) for five long years, despite repeated
attempts by some of the best writers in the country to beat it.
The hook comes from the use of the words “sex secrets”, combined with “satisfied”,
“knowledgeable”, and “respected”. Well-chosen words that make it clear this isn’t just a
sleazy rant from some sex-maniac bozo … but a more in-depth (yet still titillating) story
about everyone’s favorite subject that promises know-how, satisfaction and a little fun.
Another example: Here’s a headline I wrote for Phillips Publishing, the financial
newsletter giant out of Maryland…
Why Does This Man Have One Of The Most Dazzling Records On Wall Street?
Mysterious Arizona “Human Computer”
Humiliates Wall Street “Experts”
For 21st Consecutive Year!
Buried in the research material was a little quote from Money Magazine, referring
to this mutual fund wizard as a “human computer”, because he has a warp-speed brain
that thrives on complex math. In a typical quarter, he will crunch the numbers of over
14,000 different companies offering stock…
In His Head!
That’s a pretty intriguing story. That is a hook.
And I’ll talk more about “power words” in Chapter IX… but for now, focus on
how the word “humiliates” in the above headline increases the tension of the reader’s
curiosity. Who doesn’t want to read about the man who can humiliate the puffed-up suits
on Wall Street?
Now, your hook can be a “grabber” – a relevant gimmick. You don’t need a
headline if you have a dollar bill stapled to the top of your letter. But you’ve still got to
tie it into your story.
Here’s how I explained – near the bottom of page one in a letter selling a selfdefense course – why I’d attached a nickel to the top of the first page:
In less than a second, he suddenly realized he was
about to be jumped by three experienced streetfighters…
and if he didn’t do something right NOW…
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His Life Wasn’t Worth Much More
Than That Nickel In His Pocket!
Want to guess how well that letter has done?
Well, here it is six years later… and it’s still the biggest-pulling promotion in the
self-defense industry. This one little letter has been worth a seven-figure fortune to my
clients, in a small and very stingy market.
The trick is to weave a plausible, yet sensational story. The one-legged golfer ad
is an example of a hook that is almost unbelievable. Almost, because I explained it
satisfactorily in the copy.
It all makes sense, eventually.
There is a legitimate payoff.
One of the reasons to use “almost unbelievable” hooks is to set your business
apart from everyone else’s. There was a store owner in New York who called himself
“Crazy Eddie”. In his television spots, he would take a sledgehammer and smash stereos,
threatening to destroy the entire store if you didn’t come down and buy something at his
“insanely low prices”.
And I grew up in Cucamonga, California, watching a car dealer routinely bring
out a brand new sedan during his TV commercial, talk it up as a “steal” at $2,300… and
then kick out the windshield, toss the sticker price, and offer it for $150 to the first person
to come down and grab the deal.
You can use craziness like that, if you share in your reader’s skepticism, and turn
the story around to…
“Who Cares If He’s A Little Nuts.
Look At The Bargain He’s Offering!”
Here’s an example of another million-dollar-pulling golf ad I wrote that is more
believable, yet still outrageous:
How Does An Out-Of-Shape 55 Year-Old Golfer,
Crippled By Arthritis & 71 Lbs. Overweight, Still
Consistently Humiliate PGA Pros In
Head-To-Head Matches By Hitting Every Tee Shot
Farther And Straighter Down The Fairway?
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This 2-page ad still runs regularly in Golf Digest and other golf magazines, years
after its introduction. Without a single word change. It just pulls and pulls… because it
ignites the curiosity of every golfer who reads it.
The idea, when using the hook in your headline, is to tell a short, outrageous
story… that is so achingly incomplete, you wouldn’t be human if you weren’t dying to
find out what it was about. And then, in your body copy, weave the story. Complete the
hook.
Remember this:
Most folks do not get to meet interesting people…
Or go to interesting places…
Or do interesting things. I think it was Thoreau who said “most men lead lives
of quiet desperation.”
And that’s your opening. Your ad is a chance for the reader to get out of his daily
rut for a few moments… to be titillated, shocked, startled, and metaphorically…
Pinched On
The Ass!
Your competition for his attention in the newspaper is a lot of stories about death
and taxes. Your competition on television is a lame sit-com or another Cubs blowout.
Your competition in that handful of mail is bills and really, really boring junk mail.
All this is a great opportunity. You be the guy who stands up and says…
“Hey! Here’s A Story That’ll
Get Your Blood Pumping!”
Two last thoughts: First, remember to not dwell on the negative side of any
story. Instead, accentuate the positive. Paint pleasing pictures of the benefits of your
product. Success, happiness, beauty. Don’t belabor the “before”, highlight the “after”.
And second, don’t pass up the chance to be the first to tell the story behind your
product… even if there are a thousand competitors who can say the same thing. The
great Claude Hopkins took Schlitz beer from number five in St. Louis to number one in
the country -- by telling the story of pure brewing techniques… of special agricultural
science to grow superior hops and barley and malt… of how the tanks were scrubbed
clean three times daily, and on and on.
Now, none of this was unique to Schlitz.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section IV-8
In fact, every other brewer used the identical techniques.
But only Schlitz told people about it. They told their story, and it fascinated the
population and induced even die-hard tea-totalers to try this pure, nurtured-by-science
beer.
When the other breweries finally caught on, it only sounded like “me, too, hey,
we do this, too” whining. Schlitz didn’t relinquish that number one spot for a generation.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section IV-9
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section IV-10
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section IV-11
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section IV-12
Section V
“The More You Tell,
The More You Sell.”
Your ad is your salesman. Don’t gag him by limiting his words.
T
he one unquestioned “truth” most big ad agencies buy into is… people will not
read a lot of copy in an advertisement. Online, offline, on Websites, in magazines, on
TV.
They believe this with the fervor of a Kamikaze pilot. That’s why they come up
with – and base entire campaigns on – cute slogans, meaningless slivers of copy, and
incoherent jingles.
On the other hand… the one proven truth that all direct marketers know from
experience is…
Customers Love Long Copy
When It’s Targeted To Their Passions.
I once wrote a 23-page letter (twenty-three!) to bodybuilders, which mailed
profitably for several years. It was all about a hot new supplement that helped you
recover faster from brutal workouts, skip the soreness other guys suffered, and enjoy a
measurable surge in testosterone that would create powerful new muscle faster than you
ever dreamed possible.
Included were five pages crammed with detailed analysis of ingredients with
unpronounceable names. Two pages of charts. No photos at all. It was page after page
of dense, detailed copy.
And bodybuilders ate it up, because it was all about them. Every sentence
connected with their passion for their sport. Challenged some notions they had about
weight training while supporting others which seemed like revelations. And every page
read like a…
“Can’t Put It Down”
Detective Story!
I’ve written dozens of three and four-page magazine ads. And I’m talking about
ads that run in major publications, like Golf Digest, Muscle and Fitness, and Men’s
Journal. One or two small photos, at most, and the rest of the pages thick with copy.
These “monster sized” ads often work so well… they actually change the way the
magazine looks. After other smart marketers see my ads appearing time and again, and
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section V-1
rightly figure out these super-long pieces are raking it in, they follow suite. It usually
takes about 18 months… but suddenly the magazine is rife with long copy ads.
Some of my most successful Websites are single-scroll pages that equal over 30
sheets of manuscript. (By "single scroll", I mean there are no links on the site -- you just
keep scrolling down to read the entire site. The only link I usually use is for sending the
reader to the shopping cart, when he's in a lather to buy.)
I’ve written ads that fill entire pages of newspapers. That’s the equivalent of 4
pages of manuscript copy, single spaced.
The average direct mail letter I write is at least 8 pages long, with several other
pages of accompanying material. I’ve penned magalogs that took 30 pages of manuscript
to fill.
In fact, the 3x5 postcards I’ve written contain twice the copy you would find in an
average ad agency-created advertisement.
Why do I write such long ads?
Because That’s
What Works!
Salespeople who work face-to-face with customers know “the more you tell, the
more you sell.” They wouldn’t dream of sitting across from a prospect and trying to win
them over with cutesy slogans, or, God forbid, by singing to them.
No. A great salesman knows – to make the sale – he must present all the benefits
of his product, in ways that directly affect the selfish desires and needs of his customers.
He must meet an entire menu of objections, with clear, honest and believable answers
that satisfy completely.
No one wants to be an “easy” sell. It’s not in our nature. We need to be
persuaded. And that takes some dedicated talking.
Well, guess what?
Your Ad Is Your
Door-To-Door Salesman!
Your letter or print ad or Website or video is literally going door to door at
thousands of residences. And that little ad is completely alone. There’s no back-up. No
second chances to clarify anything.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section V-2
You wouldn’t send a salesman out there dressed like a clown, would you? Have
him approach potential customers, do something silly, and then run off singing an inane
slogan? Would you?
Of course you wouldn’t.
Your ad is your salesman. Your customers won’t know about the handcrafted
details, the rare ingredients, the Swedish design, the way women will look at them when
they use your product…
Unless You
TELL Them!
They didn’t ask for your presence in their lives. They didn’t invite you in. You
barged into their awareness completely unannounced.
So, if you have something to say, say it. And don’t handcuff yourself by setting
limits on the number of words you use.
Remember: The more you tell, the more you sell.
There is one “catch” to this, of course. Your customer will NOT be bored, and
will NOT struggle to finish your thoughts. He will NOT “make the connection” of your
vague metaphors.
He will NOT do your pitch for you.
However… if you share his passion… and focus your copy on things that excite
him… and meet his needs, and counter his objections… and feed his own interests…
He Will Read
Every Friggin’ Word You Write!
Have you ever sat around talking with a car nut? He will prattle endlessly and
with palpable passion about overhead cam shafts, Hearst 5-speed trannies, and why the
only ’62 Chevy Impala worth owning is the muscle car with the beefy 326 cubic inch
engine, not the one with the anemic 283.
Or a musician. He’ll swoon over talk about a rhythm section in the pocket,
single-coil lipstick pickups, tube screamer stomp boxes and the ethereal tone of a tweed
Fender Twin. Did you know that the great bluesman Stevie Ray Vaughn filled the
recording studio with Twin Reverb amps, and left them on for days until the tubes were
brittle with heat… just so he could get the exact tone he wanted for blues guitar? That is
dedication, man.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section V-3
That is also a great example of targeted detail. I lost all the non-guitar
enthusiasts way back there… but I “got” all the musicians. If that was my intended
audience, I won. I’ve now got their undivided attention. And who cares if you lose the
part of the audience you don’t want?
Don’t waste a moment trying to appease anyone who doesn’t share your passion.
Instead, concentrate on selling your soul-mates.
How do you write long copy that stays in the “pocket” of your intended
customer’s passion? You use…
“Reason Why”
Copy.
“Reason Why” copy simply means that you explain everything you say… using
good, catchy, believable reasons that convince the reader.
Great copy explains itself as it goes along. With a folksy swagger that the reader
can trust, because “it’s just us car nuts talking, man”. Forget about all that stilted prose
you see in most ads: “When one feels the temptation to engage in libations, one chooses
a superior Scotch…”
Horseshit. Write like you talk. And talk like you would if you were sitting faceto-face with your reader. Just yakking away about your shared passions.
And, oh, by the way… you have something here he might find very interesting.
In order to sell, you must romance. Seduce. Use a little foreplay, for God’s sake.
Show that you can be trusted, that you know what you’re talking about, that what you
have to offer really is a fabulous deal.
And you can’t do that while talking like you…
Have A Stick
Up Your Ass.
Have you ever bought anything from a salesperson you really liked? You felt a
small bond with him, agreed with his worldview, felt he really was on your side and
honestly wanted to see you happy?
It’s a funny thing. Often, the best salesperson on the staff is NOT the guy with
perfectly coifed hair, the sharp dresser with the handsome profile and deep baritone
voice.
No. Often, the best salesperson is the schleppy little mutt who always looks like
he slept in his clothes, always seems to be having a bad hair day, tends to mumble a bit.
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Section V-4
What’s his secret? Personality. The guy understands his fellow humans… and
actually cares about them. He’s a little odd, sure, but he’s loveable. And he knows what
he’s talking about.
That’s how you want to write. Put some godamn personality into your words,
Bucko. Let the reader know there’s another human being on the other side of your letter.
Someone with hopes, fears, desires and needs…
Just Like His!
Romance him like you would a lover. Be that guy other people love to hang
around… because you’ve been places, seen things, discovered some really juicy and
exciting secrets. Secrets you are here to share.
Treat your reader the way you want to treated. (That’s the Golden Rule, isn’t it?)
If you were gonna consider buying a product like this… wouldn’t you want to know what
was in it? If it really performed as advertised? If it really was a good deal? If this thing
could actually satisfy your passion?
It takes a lot of copy to cover those bases.
And be honest. This is a master’s level sales secret. Be completely honest about
your product. Reveal a flaw or two. There’s never been a perfect product manufactured
in the history of man. Everything has something wrong with it. And everyone knows it.
When you admit the limits of your product, you gain credit for being honest.
You’re a straight talkin’ guy. You’re someone who can be trusted to tell the truth.
The thing is… by revealing a flaw or two… you shine a brighter light on the
positive benefits of your product. Normally, people won’t believe anything you say.
They take all boasting with a big grain of salt. They…
Assume You’re Going To
Stretch The Truth.
So astonish him. Be different. When you’re honest, and you prove it… you are
no longer in the same category as all other advertisers. (Those lying bastards.) Nope.
You’re a straight shooter. You tell it like it is.
You’re one of us, man.
A few last points: First, never talk down to your customers, as if you are the
teacher and they are the pitifully inadequate students. Readers will not be put down.
They will not be lectured. Or bored.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section V-5
Instead, use yourself as the bad example: “I used to be that cocky guy who
thought he would never get sick. And I don’t have to tell you what a shock it is to wake
up one day and realize you have arthritis. Yes, you and I share this crippling disease…”
Second: Consider the personality you put into your writing your “secret weapon”
against competitors… especially if your product is pretty much identical to everyone
else’s. Personality is how you set yourself apart. Given the choice of dealing with a
soulless corporation, or a passionate but slightly eccentric guy… all other things being
equal… you will win the sale.
Lastly: Your sales pitch must be complete. You need the same detailed
persuasiveness to sell a $19 widget as you do to sell a $199 gold-plated widget.
In fact, experienced marketers know that it sometimes takes MORE persuasion to
get a customer to part with twenty bucks than it does to part with a hundred dollars. It’s
human nature. We tend to sweat the pennies, and be oddly casual about the dollars.
The lesson: Don’t scrimp on your sales pitch. Cover all the bases, every time.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section V-6
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section V-7
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section V-8
Section VI
“Get It Read.”
The simple tactics of making sure your message survives her natural aversion to
advertising.
People are numb from being bombarded with too much advertising.
And the sheer volume of ads is increasing daily. Did you know there are now, on
average, an extra eight-to-twelve minutes of advertising per hour on television than just a
few years ago? Reruns of I Love Lucy, Happy Days and Get Smart have to be cut and reedited to make room. You can’t watch a movie now without little icons and messages
"scrawling" across the screen. The simple act of trying to read a main-stream Website
becomes a battle with pop-ups, shimmering animation, and video automatically intruding
into your vision. New hip magazines have more advertising than content.
The whole world has become a huge billboard.
So the question for the savvy marketer is: How do you cut through the noise and
get noticed?
And the answer is: Don’t try to get noticed. Just simply…
Get Read.
The following ingenious techniques use the “don’t resist” principles of martial
arts. You can use the energy of the riot to cut straight through it.
Let’s take the old-school example of mailing a sales letter to a customer. (Side
note: While many new marketers insist on doing only online efforts to sell… the really
smart and successful biz owners know that including direct mail can double or triple your
profits. When I speak at marketing seminars, I often ask the crowd to raise their hands if
they use direct mail to augment their online campaigns… and usually, there are just a few
dudes in the back who lift an arm. When I press them on how well this strategy works…
they reluctantly admit that it's like attaching a rocket to profit results. So if you're dead
set on being as successful as possible, you need to pay attention to all "old-school" direct
mail tactics, even when you're primarily online.)
In direct mail (as in all marketing), in order to make the sale, you have to get your
letter read. In order to get it read, you have to survive the first thing most people do
when they bring their mail inside. Which is to…
Toss All The Junk.
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Section VI-1
Get into the head of your customer. Stop thinking about your need to make the
sale. Instead, think about his need to reduce the bullshit in his life.
People sort their mail while standing over a wastepaper basket. And everything
that looks like an ad gets tossed. You probably do this yourself. (Online surfing follows
the same code of conduct -- you have a split second to get attention, or you're toast.)
Most businesses cover their mailings with “teaser copy” on the outside envelope
which they think creates a burning curiosity… but which actually offers a short-hand tipoff for the customer to toss their letter without opening it.
Here’s the conversation going on in his head: “Hmm, here’s the phone bill. Bank
statement. What’s this? Time magazine, 35% off? Ugh, I don’t want Time. Toss that.
Huh? I don’t need a new MasterCard, either. Bye…”
If you’ve slathered copy on your envelope that gives away your pitch, you’ve just
wasted all the effort you put into your actual letter. ‘Cuz it ain’t gonna get read.
What mail does he not immediately throw away? There are three little piles left:
1) Bills and letters he recognizes – like the letter from his lawyer, or the monthly bank
statement. 2) Suspicious-looking mail in unidentified window envelopes he doesn’t dare
throw away without checking out. And 3) Mail that looks personal.
He’s still standing over the waste basket. And he’s on a hair-trigger alert with
each suspicious-looking envelope. The first sign it’s an ad, and bop!
Into The Abyss.
So what do you do? It’s simple. You make your letter look as much like personal
mail as you can. Here are the guidelines:
1. Use plain white standard envelopes or plain manila 6x9 and 9x12 envelopes.
Think about the kind of envelope your Aunt Rachel or your college buddy would
use.
2. Have the address typed (or lasered so it looks like type) directly onto the letter.
Never use a pre-printed label. That’s a sure tip-off of a mass mailing.
3. Do not tip your hand with teaser copy on the envelope, like “Need your carpets
steam-cleaned?” and “Hot new money-making opportunity inside!” You can,
however, use stamps like a big red “Urgent” or “Personal and Confidential”.
4. If you’re not Aunt Rachel, do not put your name or the name of your business up
in the left corner, no matter how groovy your logo is. Just type the street number,
city, state and zip code. Don’t use a P.O. Box, either. That’s another tip-off of
junk mail.
5. Finally, use a real, live First Class stamp. Just like normal people do. No
machine indicia, no evidence that you’ve got a Pitney-Bowes postage meter.
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Section VI-2
Do you see what you’ve accomplished here? Instead of trying to scream louder than
the other guy, or being part of the problem of “junk mail”… you’ve slipped past the outer
defenses. Your potential customer has to open your envelope…
To See Who Sent
This Mysterious Letter To Him!
So you get a shot at making your pitch. But it’s a brief shot, and if you don’t
immediately reach out and grab your reader by the lapels, you’re going in the trash.
Therefore…
1. If you use a headline, it must be one that instantly catches his attention. You have
your foot in the door, and he’s inclined to slam it shut on you. The very first
words he sees must appeal to a deep, selfish desire he has.
2. The quickest way to get anyone’s attention is to use their name. Even in the
middle of a riot, you will respond to someone calling out your name. So use it.
My clients report a 30% increase in response to letters just by personalizing the
salutation. So instead of reading “Dear Friend”, Bob Jones reads “Dear Bob
Jones.”
3. And, to avoid the “oh, yuck” reaction of having a mess of reply coupons, return
envelopes and brochures fall into his lap… put everything but your sales letter
into a separate, sealed envelope. Write “Please do not open until you have read
my letter” on it. This way, he has your sales letter in one hand, with all that
compelling copy creating a burning curiosity… and in the other hand, he has the
nuts and bolts of ordering and closing the deal, safely out of view until he’s been
“primed” to see it.
Almost every successful letter I’ve written has been mailed in this fashion, or close to
it. If you had a gun to your head, and had to make your mailing a success, this is how
you should mail your letter, too.
The First Class stamp is important for several reasons. First of all, it sets your
letter apart from all that junk mail that mails bulk rate Third Class. You use a real stamp
because not using a stamp means you’re using a confusing machine indicia that could be
mistaken for Third Class.
And you’ve just wasted all that extra money.
If you must mail Third Class, use a Third Class stamp. At a glance, many bulk
rate stamps look eerily similar to First Class stamps. Especially now that there are so
many different kinds of stamps being printed every blessed day.
But mailing First Class is important for business reasons, also. Bulk rate mail will
not be forwarded, and will not be returned to you if it is undeliverable. Think about that
gun to your head again – wouldn’t you like to know that your letter has…
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section VI-3
The Best Chance Possible To Make It
To Your Prospect?
There’s more: You’ll know when customers have disappeared – which they will
do at a rate of about 15% a year – because your letters will come back to you as
“undeliverable.” (We call these “nixies”.) This way, you can keep your list free of those
profit-sucking names whose mail would otherwise vanish down a dark hole.
Your mail will also be delivered faster – a couple of days versus a couple of weeks. Do
you really have the patience to wait weeks to see if your letter is a success?
And… you will avoid the miserable fate of much bulk rate mail. Practically every
month there is a new story about some postal worker tossing huge bales of “junk mail”
into a dumpster. Hey, it’s hot outside, and that junk is heavy. Besides, who will know?
It’s Third Class mail – nixies are not returned, it’s never forwarded, impossible to track.
So, are we clear on this? If you’re mailing a sales letter out, take the simple steps
above to make sure it is (a) delivered, and (b) opened. This is your best shot at getting
your letter read.
That said… there is another mailing tactic you need to know about. I call it…
Full Frontal
Nudity!
Relax. I’m talking about postcards. If your message is clear and short and
precise… say, you’re alerting previous customers of a fire sale or delivery of a limited
supply of product you know they want (because they’ve ordered a ton of it before, and
are pissed off they couldn’t get any more)… then you can mail a simple postcard with
your message on it. Just lay out your headline and your copy, right there in front of God
and everybody.
Don’t worry about using small type, either. People are used to reading copy as
small as 6 and 7 point on postcards. If you have a message they want to read, they’ll
squint.
And while I haven’t done it yet, I have friends who are mailing enormous
postcards – literally 8 inches by 10 inches flat, not folded. Check with your postmaster
about what size you can safely mail. Use a stiff stock. And mail First Class.
We’re not done yet. Next up is how to get your ad read in a newspaper or
magazine. It’s very simple, actually. You just…
Make Your Ad Look Like
A Real News Story!
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section VI-4
The biggest mistake most advertisers make is to cleverly design their ads to look
like ads. And people read publications for the articles. (Well, unless you’re reading
Playboy, I suppose.) They skip right over the ads. It’s all background clutter, the
necessary evil of having cheap newspapers and glossy magazines subsidized by ad
revenue.
Well, you aren’t in business to fund someone else’s publication. You’re in there
to get read, and to make a sale. So you don’t want to be part of the background clutter.
You want to be just like the articles, and get read.
So, look like an article.
Forget about fancy graphics, wrap-around copy, huge photos, or even color.
These are attributes of ads that don’t get read. You want to look just the other articles in
the publication. So you:
Use the same typeface and size of type as the surrounding articles.
Lay out your copy in the same format – same size columns, same rules and design
elements.
And make your headline and subheads look just like all the other headlines and
subheads… right down to whether they capitalize every word or not, or use a
period.
What you’ve just done is move out of the pack of other ads, all of which get at
most a disinterested glance. And you are now among the very articles that the reader has
purchased the publication to read.
(Note: Most publications will bristle a bit if you copy their patented typography.
That’s okay. Most use some combination of customized versions of Times Roman for
body copy and Helvetica for headlines. Just use the standard versions – as I have in this
book -- and you’ll look pretty darn close to theirs anyway. Also: Most will insist on
running a slug that says “Advertisement” above your ad. That’s okay, too. Readers tend
to skip right by it… as long as your headline is exciting their passions.)
This admittedly sneaky technique works especially well when your product is
totally in synch with the publication – say, an ad for a dog product in a magazine about
dogs. But it also works in general publications. Especially when you’ve got a…
Great Hook.
That’s Section IV, of course.
Two final thoughts: A great way to get your message read, by the way, is to
make your ad up as a full-page newspaper ad… print it on newsprint… have the printer
cut it with a ragged edge, so it looks like it was ripped out of a newspaper… and then
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section VI-5
mail it in an envelope. This is called a “tear sheet mailing”. To increase the idea that a
friend has just ripped this ad out and mailed it to you, you can attach a Post-It note to the
page: “Hi – knew you’d love to see this. J.”
Use just the initial “J.”, because almost everyone knows someone with a name
that begins with that letter. To increase response, personalize the note: “Hi Bob. Check
this out. J.”
Finally, if you absolutely must get your message to your potential customer… and
it’s a high-ticket product (say, $199 or higher)… and you have a qualified list to mail
to… and that ol’ gun is pointed at your head…
Use Federal Express.
No one, in the history of our civilization, has ever not opened a Federal Express
package addressed to them. Yes, it is expensive. But if you know, from experience, that
you will sell a certain percentage of qualified customers who read your message… and
from that sales percentage, you can easily fit the cost of mailing this way… do it.
For example: Say you’re selling a high-ticket item… like a yacht for $800,000,
and you have a list of 1,000 people who are very interested in buying a yacht. What do
you care if you shell out $8,000 in Federal Express charges to reach them? You KNOW
it will get read. If you have what they want, and you make your pitch compelling… and
you need to get this yacht off your hands… the extra cost is irrelevant.
In fact, I would consider stapling a hundred dollar bill to the top of every letter.
Just to make sure the reader knew I was serious.
I’ll show you more ways to use that kind of “grabber” technique later.
Final, Final Note: I want to emphasize, as emphatically as possible, how
successful these old-school tactics translate to the Internet.
Every detail of direct mail has a correlation online. Teaser copy is like Adwords
ads, or the hyper-text picked up by search engines. The plain envelope is like the first
"blush" of the way your Website looks -- and researchers performing "eye tracking"
studies have discovered that how your prospect "perceives" your copy determines
whether he'll read it or not.
Personalization -- as much as you can muster given the restrictions of online
presentation -- is still critical. Email CAN be personalized. Which makes the collection
of email addresses and first names a critical step in any online marketing effort.
Classic salesmanship works in ANY medium. It doesn't matter that, whenever a
new medium pops up, the clueless "experts" start claiming that everything is now
"different".
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section VI-6
Top marketers know that, when you need to sell, you cannot do better than to use
the proven tactics that have worked since the dawn of time.
Bottom line, all sales transactions are one human "talking" to another human…
whether that talking is done in print, online, in video, over the radio, or on television.
These are the secrets of wealth and fame, folks.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section VI-7
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section VI-8
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section VI-9
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section VI-10
Section VII
“Killer Headlines.”
How to write a headline that stops your intended audience cold.
Most of your Website copy… most of your letters… and all of your newspaper
and magazine ads… will have a headline.
If you do what most lazy writers do, you’ll slap one together at the last minute,
after you’ve written everything else.
And this will murder your ad.
Do some Web surfing. Flip through the nearest magazine. Watch some prime
time network TV. Take a critical "what are they doing" look at the ads. You’ll see a few
with headlines that seem clear enough. Some may even induce you to read the body
copy.
But most of their efforts to get your attention will just float right by your eyes,
like seagulls on the horizon.
Your headline is the single most important piece of copy you will write. Savvy
copywriters often spend…
90% Of Their Time
Crafting Just The Headline!
Why? Because your headline must do two jobs, and do them quickly. You have
less than a full second of the reader’s scattered attention. And your headline must:
1. Catch the full attention of your intended audience… and…
2. Bring them into the ad, as if you have reached out of the page and grabbed them
by the lapels.
Imagine you’re standing at the edge of a crowd rushing by. Say, at a train station.
Everybody’s late, distracted, irritated.
And you want to sell them a book about building Websites that actually earn
money. Your prospects include owners of businesses trying to make it on the Web, geeks
trying to build them, entrepreneurs always on the lookout for information just like you
have, and dreamers who think they have a good idea to upload.
So, there you are. And there’s the crowd, rushing by, ignoring you. How you get
the attention of the people you want to talk to?
Easy. You just yell…
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“Hey, Bob McDaniels!
Over here!”
You think I’m messing around with you, don’t you? Well, I’m not. I’m telling
you what to imagine here… and I’ve just made the owner of a software company you
recognized walk by on the way to his train.
And you just got his attention.
Using a person’s name in your headline is the strongest appeal your sales letter
could ever have, too. So… if you have the name of your prospect…
Use It!
My clients have found that personalizing letters can increase response by as much
as 30%. Even if the personalization only occurs in the salutation (“Dear Bob
McDaniels:”).
Now, yes, you won’t always be able to use personalization. You can’t use it in
newspaper or magazine ads. And sometimes the economics of your situation dictates that
you must skip the personalization.
When that’s the case…
Use “Trigger Words” That Instantly
Identify Your Intended Reader!
Let’s go back to the chaos of the train station. You don’t know anyone’s name.
So how do you identify that part of the streaming crowd who might be interested in your
computer-related book?
You yell…
“Attention, WEB SITE OWNERS!
Here’s A Free Report That Will Show You
How To Quadruple Profits Overnight!”
That sort of cuts to the quick, doesn’t it?
Anyone within earshot who needs that information will scurry over to you and
grab their free report. If you can get them to sit down and talk, you can begin your sales
pitch for your book. If not, they’ll read all about it in the special report.
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Section VII-2
Trigger words are the next best thing to the sound of your own name. They
are shorthand, and very direct, descriptions of the very thing you are interested in. If
you’re a rabid bowler, you’ll perk up to the words “Hey, Bowlers!”
If you’re hot to find a new house, you’ll respond to the trigger words “house
hunting” and “real estate secrets your broker is hiding from you”.
If your business is hemorrhaging money, you’ll likely respond to the words “cash
flow secrets”, “instant flood of new customers” and “Chapter Eleven”.
If you suspect your spouse is cheating on you, you might respond to the words
“divorce” and “how to screw your husband or wife out of custody”.
Readers depend on headlines to cut through the clutter and nonsense … and alert
them to the articles (and ads) they really want to focus on. The magazine they’re reading
has 268 pages of copy in it, and most of it is advertising with no bearing on their lives
whatsoever.
Their morning newspaper is full of horror, bad news, the sports pages, and damn,
they moved Dear Abby again. (By the way, did you know the comics are the most-read
part of the newspaper?)
And when the mailman arrives, there’s a fresh stack of bills, flyers and catalogs
all screaming for attention.
So, knowing this…
Why Would You Dare HIDE Your Message
Behind A Goofy Headline?
Well, if you’re smart, you won’t. Even though that is exactly what MOST
advertisers do.
Here’s a little test: Have someone open a magazine – any magazine at all – and
read aloud only the headlines of the first twelve ads he sees. Try to guess what product is
being touted.
Heck… try to guess what part of the business world they’re in. You’ll see car ads
with headlines that talk about jet airliners… credit card company ads that talk about
backpacking… and cellular phone manufacturers that talk about living in Paris.
I just picked up recent copies of Maxim, the New Yorker, and Playboy. (Shows
you where my interests lie.) Here’s a full page ad showing a crumpled napkin with the
word “coffee” scribbled on it, the word “50 cents” crossed out, and “$4.95” written under
it. They’re selling Johnny Walker scotch. No trace of a bottle or label to be found. If
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you can’t read the 5-point line of copy at the bottom, you’d never figure out who paid for
the ad.
Here’s a full-page photo of a guy asleep, lying sideways with a blanket and
pillow. The headline is “It’s true, you can sleep your way to the top.” Lots of empty
space. In small copy at the bottom, you learn this is an ad for British Airways.
Apparently they now offer flat beds in business class. Very clever way to NOT alert your
potential customers.
And here’s a full page grainy outdoor shot, with a pony-tailed dude looking out
over a darkening valley. Headline: “Let someone else climb the corporate ladder.” Care
to guess what the product is?
Chewing tobacco.
One more. Back cover ad, the most expensive real estate in the magazine. Fuzzy,
light-colored background you can’t make out. Here’s the copy: “Pate. Pillows. Are
GEESE great or what?”
I am not making this up. It’s an ad for Hyatt hotels.
These ads are not written by salesmen. And they are not written with the
customer in mind.
Nope. They are written to please other dumb-ass corporate copywriters and
designers and – worst of all – the client. Most copywriters think if they get the client to
like the ad, they’ve been successful.
Horseshit. In fact, I’ve discovered that, frequently, it’s the Kiss Of Death if the
client likes the ad. I don’t want the client to like the ad. I hope it even makes him a little
uncomfortable. I’m not getting paid to stroke his ego. I’m out to…
Make The Damn Sale!
Your reader hasn’t got the time -- or the inclination -- to stare at your ad and try to
figure out what the hell you’re trying to say. He won’t do it. Readers scan even the
important stuff in what they read. (I almost threw away a recent bill from the cable
company they’d cleverly disguised as a solicitation on first glance.)
And readers absolutely fly by the junk mail and obvious advertisements they see.
It’s your job to stop them like Wile E. Coyote running into a brick wall the
Roadrunner painted to look like the sky. Wham!
And you do that by using trigger words that tap into their passion. Your headline
must deliver either:
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Section VII-4
1. News that affects your prospects directly… (“How To Use The New Laws To
Lower Your Property Taxes By Half.”)…
2. A spectacular benefit that jars them out of their stupor… (“New Herbal Pill
Instantly Makes You Look 10 Years Younger!”)… or…
3. Arouse such burning curiosity that they cannot continue with their lives until
they’ve read your message. (“Why Does This Hacker Smile Every Time You Do
Business On-Line?”)
Now go back and try inserting your prospect’s name in each of those three example
headlines. “Why Does This Hacker Smile Every Time Bob Smith Does Business OnLine?” You think Bob Smith is going to skip past that?
It doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks about your ad. You shouldn’t care if NO
ONE outside your target audience even glances at your ad (and this includes the client
and other copywriters). You’re not after them. You’re after your…
Prime Targets!
This may crimp your “creativity”… but it will sure increase sales. Have eyes
ONLY for your potential customer, and know that you will never be dull when you’re
addressing what is important to him:
New cancer cure discovered by French scientist!
Can you use an extra $1,000 a month, without having to work for it?
Read this before you sell your car!
A Short Message For Single People Only.
Attention, Butterfly Collectors!
Do You Have Athlete’s Foot… Or Something Worse?
Have you got the idea? Here’s a few more examples:
Don’t risk “burn out” before you discover how quickly these secrets can change
your life!
Who Else Wants To Learn The Secrets Of
Earning An Extra $96,485 As A Chiropractor This Year…
While Working Just 24-Hours A Week (Or Less), With
Minimum Stress And Zero Debt!
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section VII-5
I wrote this ad for a chiropractic “coach” who knew his target audience was
exhausted, mega-overworked bone-crunchers who knew they weren’t making a fraction
of what they should be earning. The ad is still running, pulling hundreds of thousands of
dollars some four years later.
I directly addressed the intended audience, using loaded “trigger words” that were
sure to grab them by the throat. All the happy, super-rich and relaxed doctors blew right
by the ad. They weren’t the target.
And I was specific with numbers. Specificity just shines with trustworthiness.
But you must back it up. Explain how you got your numbers in the copy. (In this case,
we had an accountant verify that this, indeed, was the average increase in client profits.)
See if you have to guess what these final headlines are selling. (Hint: Each one is
attached to an ad that pulled in buckets of profit through the mail, in magazines, or
online. Sometimes, they worked in all three categories. Some still are, like the first
one…)
“Put me in a tee box with Tiger Woods and I’ll outdrive him every time!”
How A Skinny Little Golf Genius From
California Accidentally Started
Hitting 425-Yard Tee Shots!
---------Force him to make the first move… dance him around like a girl…
and TAKE HIM OUT like a rag doll!
Why Are Bigger, Stronger, Taller And Meaner
Multiple Black-Belt Bad Asses Absolutely Terrified
Of Challenging This Mild, Middle-Aged (And Undefeated)
No-Rules Cage Fighter From Arizona?
---------And The Reports Are FREE!
The Amazing “Girl-Attracting” Secrets Of
A Short, Desperate Nerd From Pomona!
----------
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section VII-6
Former original star of “All My Children” reveals…
How A Famous “Fat Loss” Doctor From San Diego
Discovered A Safe, Simple And Easy Way To Quickly Lose
All The Weight You Want (Without Hunger)… And…
KEEP It Off Forever Without Restrictive Dieting!
----------
FREE Stock Trading Secrets
Of A FilthyFilthy-Rich Wall Street Outlaw!
---------The most closely-guarded “specialization muscle-booster secrets” of a world famous
Gonzo Bodybuilder!
Get 3 Years Worth Of MONSTER GAINS
In Your Toughest-To-Grow Spots…
In Just 3 Short Months… Guaranteed!
Now go get ‘em, tiger.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section VII-7
Notes
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Section VII-8
Notes
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Section VII-9
Notes
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Section VII-10
Section VIII
“Tell Me Why You’re Telling Me
What You’re Telling Me.”
How to use the compelling power of “reason why” copy
to overcome all objections and make the sale.
After your headline, the most important piece of copy is your opening paragraph.
This is where you set the stage for everything else you say.
Imagine that your headline has “gotten you in the door”. Your opening paragraph
is then how you get your prospect to “sit down” and settle in for one of the most
fascinating rides of his life.
The easiest technique to use to do that – and it’s one I employ frequently – is
the…
“If… Then” Introduction.
It’s very simple. Here’s a couple of examples: “If you’ve always dreamed of a
super-effective diet that’s so easy, it works automatically even when you constantly
cheat… then this will be the most exciting letter you ever read.”
“If you’d like to get a brand new Porsche 911, for half of what everyone else has
to pay (legally)… then you’re going to freak over what I have to share with you here.”
“If you’d love to start firing tennis serves at over 110 miles an hour, with the
accuracy of a guided missile… then this will be the most life-changing message you have
ever read.”
And so on. Even veteran writers sometimes stumble and mumble when trying to
write a killer opening paragraph. This technique gets the job done with absolute
minimum fuss.
Another technique is to…
Simply State Your Case.
It sounds straightforward enough, but it’s pure genius in its simplicity: “My name
is Dr. O’Malley, and I have just written a book that shows how you can instantly increase
the intensity and duration of your orgasms. Here is what I’ve discovered…”
“I am one of fourteen people who have discovered an easy, legal and no-hassle
way to get into Cubs games absolutely free. Here is how you can be number fifteen…”
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“With your permission – and with strict precautions for your privacy – I want to
send you a copy of a vicious hand-to-hand training video that was smuggled out of the
U.S. Navy SEALS elite bootcamp…”
You get the idea.
These techniques are examples of “reason why” copy. We call it that because,
literally, you give your reader a reason to believe every statement you make.
A specific, plausible and compelling reason.
Using this simple technique guarantees that you do not fall into the trap most ad
writers fall into. Which is to be unclear and vague. Basically, most ad writers just…
Brag Without
Backing It Up.
Huge mistake. Huge. You tell your reader you’ve got the best product in the
universe, and what does he do? He yawns.
But if tell him you have 985,425 current customers worldwide, and outsold your
nearest competitor by 46% over the last six years… well, that will perk him up.
Don’t even try telling him you made “a million dollars” last year using your
fabulous new idea. Instead, reprint a letter from your accountant verifying your last bank
statement, where you deposited $1,121,347.87. Heck, get a notary public to put her
stamp on the thing.
Being specific means…
You Know
What You’re Talking About.
And that’s what gives your customer the confidence to buy from you.
You are “credentializing” yourself as a knowledgeable expert… who is about to
share everything you know with your customers. You have a reason – and a damn good
one, too – behind everything you state.
There’s a reason why you’re writing to him.
There’s a reason why your product is something he will definitely want.
There’s a reason why it costs what it does.
And there’s a reason why he has to act right now, or miss out.
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Section VIII-2
Tell him why you’re telling him what you’re telling him! Do as a salesman would
when speaking face-to-face with a half-sold customer. Give the poor reader…
A Reason To
Buy From You,
Right Now.
Explain yourself, Bucko. “I’m writing to you today because I know you are
interested in growing roses.”
“I got your name from a mutual friend, who said you’d want to know about this
amazing opportunity right away.”
“You recently responded to an ad we ran in USA Today, with this headline…”
“I am writing to everyone who lives in Sleepy Hollow, because something urgent
has come up that directly affects your property value…”
And then tell your story, as simply and clearly as you can. One of my favorite
ways to do this is by using this phrase to start the second, or at the very latest, the third
paragraph:
“Here’s What It’s All About:”
In fact, that simple phrase can be used, with only slight modifications, throughout
your copy. It essentially takes the place of the QUESTION your prospect would most
naturally ask you at that point… if she was sitting in front of you. But she’s not. So you
answer the question that’s in her head, at every juncture:
“Here’s why so many women are using this product:”
“Here is how those Swiss scientists came up with the formula:”
“Here’s what this product will do for you:”
“Here is why you don’t risk a penny.”
And… one of the most important explanations in your pitch…
“Here’s How To Order:”
But don’t you dare do that until you have loaded your reader down with more
excellent reasons to buy than he can fit into his thinking process.
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Section VIII-3
Mark Twain once said: “There are two reasons a man buys anything. The reason
he can tell his wife… and the real reason.”
Take that to heart. You must satisfy the reluctance in your customer’s soul… in
his heart… in his brain… in his bank account…
And In The Minds Of His Friends, Lovers,
Neighbors And Spouse.
Don’t just tell him it’s a bargain. Show him, in a way he can easily repeat to
convince his wife.
Don’t mumble about excellent engineering. Give him the specs, in a memorable
story that will leave his buddies breathless.
Don’t be vague about why you’re in the business. Tell your story, in a way
anyone can identify with.
And keep telling your story… but always bring it back to your customer. Tell her
why this purchase makes sense. Why it will help her get what she most desires. Why it’s
exactly what she’s been waiting for her entire life.
Do you honestly have inside information, or a hot tip, or a way to deliver a better
deal than anyone else can get?
Tell me about it.
Do you have an uncle in the Mafia who, just before going off to San Quentin,
revealed to you a perfectly legal way to lower your income tax by investing in Euro
dollars?
Or, has the taxman surprised you with a bill you can’t pay, and that means you
must sell your entire inventory of widgets at fire sale prices?
Or, on a cold drizzling day last March, did a stranger come up to you on the golf
course and reveal a simple adjustment to your swing that caused you to suddenly start
launching 300-yard howitzer shots off every tee?
Okay. That sounds good. But why should I believe you? Tell me. Is it because
you’re a respected oral surgeon in Des Moines, with a reputation like gold?
Or, is your business well-known on the West Coast, with a 25-year track record of
honesty and breaking new ground on exciting stuff?
Or, are you just a regular Schmoe who stumbled onto a good thing, and decided to
share your good fortune with a few lucky souls… but you insist on treating every
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customer the way you wish you were treated – and seldom are – by being outrageously
generous and trusting and taking on all the risk yourself?
Okay. Starting to sound pretty tempting. But how can I be sure this will work as
advertised? Tell me: “Here’s a short list of satisfied customers, including the Los
Angeles Chief of Police, the Duke of Buckingham, and six well-known businessmen in
your home town.”
Keep pouring it on. “Here’s why so many professionals and savvy people already
are customers.”
“Here’s why we’ve decided on this price, and why it’s a great deal.”
“Here’s why you can feel confident you aren’t risking a penny.”
“Here’s how fast you can expect to get exciting results, and here are examples of
those results.”
“Here’s how to order, and here’s when to expect your stuff to arrive.”
Here’s the story.
Here’s what it’s all about.
One last thought: Always stay one step ahead of your reader. Remember… he
expects you to exaggerate and brag and be fast and loose with the facts. That’s what
every other advertiser has done since the day he learned to read.
So… don’t lie. Be brutally honest. Just keep imaging your reader shaking his
head, saying “Yeah, right.” And then immediately confront that thought: “I’ll bet you
think I’m pulling your leg, right? Hey, I thought this sounded ‘too good to be true’, too.
Here’s what convinced me otherwise:”
Never forget that he doesn’t really want to believe you. He’s been taken for a
sucker countless times before. He’s never really gotten a fair shake from an advertiser.
So be the first businessman in his life to treat him… like you would like to be
treated yourself. Be honest. Offer a good deal, with plenty of opportunity to change his
mind. Make the deal legitimately “fool-proof”. And give him lots and lots of reasons
to…
Convince Himself
This Is A Fabulous Deal.
That’s the way great salesmen do it.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section VIII-5
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section VIII-6
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section VIII-7
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section VIII-8
Section IX
“The Simple Wizardry Of Capturing
Your Reader’s Imagination.”
How to paint pleasing pictures of what your product will do for your customer.
If there is an “art” to world-class copywriting… it’s in finding the right words to fill your
prospect’s head with vivid pictures that sell your product.
And there’s actually a scientific way to go about doing this.
First, you make a list of all the “features” of your product. A feature is a detail (the chapter
names and subject matter of your book)… a measurement or specification (the cubic inches of a
car’s motor)… or a breakdown of what is delivered (you’ll learn 6 ways to sell a house quickly).
Let’s say you’re selling… an instructional course on how to build a profitable Web site.
The features of your product might look like this:
Six 30-minute audio CDs that explain how to build a site… how to find the kinds of
products people want on the Web… how to establish a merchant account so you can take
credit cards… and how to get placed high on search engines.
An hour-long instructional DVD package showing you a successful site and how it
navigates.
A 24-page workbook.
And… an easy-to-use software package of Internet tools.
That’s the bare-bones list of features. That’s also as far as most writers go in presenting
their product to potential customers.
Stopping here is like a waiter refusing to tell a restaurant customer anything about the
Chef’s Surprise. “It’s a pasta dish. What else do you need to know?”
Well, for starters… will I like it? Is it spicy? Is it a lot of food?
Is It Any Good?
I’m full of questions. And I want them answered, so I can be sure what I get fits my needs.
So, your next step is to take each of your features… and attach a “benefit” to it. A benefit,
in copywriting lingo, is basically…
What This Stuff Will Do
For The Human Being Using It.
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Section IX-1
Let’s go back to the example. Why have you put six 30-minute audio CDs in the package?
Because… this allows you to listen to the tutorial while you’re driving in your car, or laying in bed
at night. They’re in 30-minute segments because we’ve found that’s the best way to “absorb” the
material, in half-hour chunks. And we decided on CDs because most cars have CDs players. You
can order direct-download MP3s for your iPod if that’s what you want.
The key word in all this is…
“Because.”
Imagine your customer in the same position as the diner in the restaurant. She wants to
know every friggin’ detail of what you’ve got. And more importantly, she wants to know how
these details are going to affect her.
One of the 6 CDs explains how to build a site. Why? Because, there are a ton of “experts”
out there telling people how to do it wrong. Most Web sites are a disaster, and it can bankrupt you
to attempt to learn from mistakes. We’ve already made all the mistakes… and we’ve discovered
how to be successful. We can short-cut your learning curve by half.
Another CD reveals how to get a merchant account. Why? Because 99% of your sales will
be from credit cards, and you can’t accept them unless you have an account. These accounts are
normally hard to get… but we know a quick way to get around all the usual red tape. You can be
up and running literally overnight.
You see what I’m doing here? I’m…
Answering The Questions
In Her Mind!
Some of those questions aren’t even well-formed thoughts… because many of your
customers won’t even know exactly what to ask. So you ask for her. And give the answer that
gets her nodding in agreement. “Yeah. That sounds good.”
Why an hour-long DVD? Because it allows you see not only how your site should look,
but how your customers will use it. It’s like being in the same room with an expert instructor right
at your side, helping you “get” this information in the fastest and easiest way possible.
Explain, explain, explain. But never do this dryly. Instead…
Tickle His Senses.
You want to force-feed the benefits of your products straight into his brain. You do this by
relating all your dry facts and figures back to what they will do for him. In ways he can…
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Section IX-2
See… (Your new site will take shape before your eyes, and be fully-functional in under two
hours)…
Feel… (Just imagine the thrill of going to bed a week from today, knowing you’ve just
deposited another $20,000 in your personal bank account)…
Taste… (Put a bottle of champagne on ice and get revved up for some lobster, because
you’re going to be celebrating in just a few days)…
Smell… (The first thing I did was buy a beach house; I love to suck up the cool,
invigorating salt air, and only the rich get to do that)…
And get physically excited about. (Say goodbye to slaving away for the ‘Man’ – every time
you sit down at your computer from here on out, you’re working for YOU!)
You want to…
Paint Pleasing Pictures
In Your Customer’s Mind!
How? With action verbs.
Most writers rely on adjectives to put some description in their copy. Good copy goes light
on adjectives. And heavy on action verbs.
Forgot your English 1A? That’s okay – I was home sick the day they discussed this stuff,
too. Here’s a simple refresher course for you.
Example A: Trying to get your point across using bloated adjectives.
“She was a mean, cruel and heartless lady, whose long, flowing
ruby-colored locks danced around her flawless, porcelain-like
face as she told her teary-eyed, sobbing beau that their torrid
love affair was over.”
Example B: Using a couple of well-chosen verbs to say the same thing:
“The red-headed bitch ripped his heart out and stomped on it.”
Adjectives are just fluff and air. Like tossing flowers out of your ad to get your prospect’s
attention.
Action verbs are like snarling bulldogs. Who race out of your ad, grab the reader and drag
him back in, kicking and screaming.
Don’t say “You’ll really enjoy this product.” Say “You will swoon over this product.” The
widget doesn’t “work well”. It “kicks ass”. Your new idea isn’t “interesting.” It’s “a shock to the
status quo.” People aren’t “happy” with results. They’re “stunned and sobbing with joy.”
Become a student of action verbs. Keep a notepad handy, and write down the ones that
reach out and grab you whenever you come across them. Suckered. Dwarfed. Outraged. Squirm.
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Section IX-3
Crush. Humiliate. Botch. Murder. Crave. Squeeze. Obliterate. Steal. Conquer. Repel.
Stagger. Dig. Scream. Lug. Hurl. Scare. Stumble. Force-feed. Cook. Rumble. Shock.
You want your ad to sound just like you talk… if you could edit what you say, and have a
little extra time to search for the…
Perfect Attention-Arresting
Word.
So keep a thesaurus and dictionary handy. Mine are dog-eared and beat-to-shit from
constant handling. When you find yourself using boring, limp verbs like “want” or “has” too
much, use the thesaurus to find a better replacement. Like “crave” and “possess”. Or “lust after”
and “stolen”. So instead of “I have a product you want”, you get “I possess a product you will lust
after”.
Or, even more daring, “I stole this strategy from a filthy rich investment advisor… and any
sane man desiring to double his own wealth would kill to learn this simple information.”
Pick up a copy of “The Elements Of Style”, by Strunk and White. It’s only a few dozen
pages long, but it delivers the best “short cut” education on writing with clarity and power I’ve
ever read.
Also, while you’re at the bookstore, pick up a copy of “American Slang”, by Robert
Chapman. A good knowledge of effective slang is what separates the Ivory Tower writers from
the guys like me who operate in the real world. The trenches are where fortunes are won or lost
depending on your…
Street Savvy.
Slang is especially important for specific markets. Knowing the lingo of the passionate
customer is critical to bonding with him. Die-hard golfers don’t call it a “sand trap” – it’s always a
“bunker”. The “pocket” to a bowler is that sweet spot between the one and three pins. A musician
with a “big ear” hears everything going on, and does his best to make the entire band sound good.
Just stay current. The lingo changes with each generation. For a long time, “bad” meant
“good” among skateboarders. Now “sick” means “good”. And telling a musician he’s “the shit” is
the highest compliment you can pay him. At least it was last time I checked.
You never want to tip your hand that you’re an outsider, by getting the slang wrong.
Also, use clichés. Your 9th grade English teacher will faint if she finds out, but your
audience will be right there with you. “Sick as a dog.” “Butter wouldn’t melt in this girl’s
mouth.” “Sober as a judge.” “So simple, a baby can do it.” “That dog will hunt.”
Remember, you’re painting pictures in your prospect’s mind.
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Section IX-4
So don’t use generalities. They sound like bragging, and no one believes a bragger.
You’re not “the best in the universe.” But you have been rated number one for the last four years
running by the Chamber of Commerce.
Do your homework, and get specific. Your product doesn’t last longer than anyone
else’s… it lasts 3-1/2 times longer than the most popular brand. This video is 129 minutes long…
and the first twelve minutes will shock you, while the middle 22 minutes will have you shouting
with joy. This recipe was created by chemists in Barcelona after 16 years of trial and error – and
the 119-page secret formula is kept in a locked safe, in a locked room, in a secure, unmarked
building with 24/7 armed guards just outside of West Tulsa.
Use Power Words that carry an emotional wallop. Cured. Astonish. Freak out. Killer.
Miracle. Suffocate. Cold-cock. Liar. Bribe. Lure. Rocked. Infested. Bandit. Abandon.
Slaughter. Tickle. Inflame. Coax. Tease. Blast. Ridicule. Slay. Boost. Implode. Danger.
Wealth. Ecstasy. Heaven.
Be colorful, but don’t offend. Don’t swear, unless you’re sure your audience appreciates
that kind of “honest” speech. Don’t tell offensive jokes. Don’t pick on anyone (unless you’re
skewering Democrats in a fund-raising letter to Republicans). If you must have a scape goat… use
yourself.
And don’t trash the competition. You’ll only sound like a jealous rival, and your reader
will discount all you say. Instead, invite your reader to try the competitor’s stuff, and compare.
Give him a great story about your product, and let him know you want people to judge it side by
side with everything else out there. That’s how confident you are.
That kind of “benign cockiness” engenders trust and confidence. Much better than getting
into a potty-mouthed shouting match with your competition.
Finally, the “meat” of your ad… the place where you get down and dirty and really turn up
the heat on your reader’s passion… will be in the section you list all your features, along with your
newly-attached benefits.
The best way to present this information is by using…
“Bullets”.
Just as I’ve illustrated below, bullets are compact, descriptive statements of a single detail.
They occur in your ad at the point where you say: “Here’s what this product will do for you:”.
The “bullet” is the typography mark in the margin… in this case, I’ve used check marks. (The
most common mark is a little round dot… which looks like a bullet hole. Thus, the term
“bullets”.) Some writers list these descriptive statements using letters (A. B. C. and so on) or
numbers (1. 2. 3. and on). Doesn’t matter which method you use, as long as you are clear and
consistent.
So pay attention here. Each bullet is constructed using what I call the…
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section IX-5
“One-Two Punch.”
This means, I give a benefit… and then add another benefit (often in parentheses) that
really brings it home. An image that explodes in the customer’s mind. A jab to soften him up…
and then a vicious uppercut to make the memory a lasting one.
You will also notice that most of my bullets are…
Blind!
That means you get a clear picture of the benefit you’ll receive… but you have no idea
whatsoever what the exact secret I’m talking about is. In many of my ads, I mix these types of
“blind” bullets with a few “give-aways” – bullets that actually give the entire secret away. Like
this:
Cure warts with a clove of garlic (nature’s most potent infection fighter)! Just crush the
clove into a paste and spread it on the wart morning and night. In 3 days, it will be gone!
And the next bullet will be teasingly blind:
A simple tea made from a common flower in your garden can boost your memory power
literally overnight!
There is psychology at work here. On the one hand, I want to let the reader know I really
do know what I’m talking about. And by offering concrete, useable information once in a while, I
increase the value of what I’m keeping secret. “Gee,” he’ll say, “If this is what he’s giving away,
the other stuff must be even more fabulous!”
You can never tell which little tidbit or secret will flip your reader into becoming a
customer. So load your copy up with every benefit you can find. I have written letters with eight
pages of nothing but bullets. Each one designed to ignite the reader’s curiosity to the boiling point.
Finally, here are a few sample bullets, taken from various ads I’ve written. Notice the
one-two punch … the use of action verbs, power words and slang… and the unrelenting focus on
the benefits to the reader. (I also use different kinds of actual bullets, to show the range available.)
See if you can’t adapt them to your own product:
From golf promotions:
•
How to control the RPMs of your ball’s spin with pinpoint accuracy! (So instantly
accurate, you’ll be able to practice with your 8-iron in your living room… and never hit a
lamp or knock a picture off the wall!)
•
How to eliminate “skulled” shots that roll too far! (This trick alone will shave a dozen
strokes off your next round.)
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section IX-6
•
The simple little tip that automatically insures your clubhead is ALWAYS in the perfect
position upon impact with the ball. (Ernie Els has this down – it’s the reason he’s known
as probably the most accurate golfer in the pro game!)
•
The correct way to use your legs as you swing… which instantly “nails down” your
accuracy. No more slicing and hooking, ever! (Just think how much fun you’ll have
hitting 18 out of 18 fairways in regulation.)
From a financial mailing:
56 juicy tax deductions most people never use… that the wealthy feast on to legally keep
staggering amounts of money from the IRS!
Simple investment tweak allows you to save the same amount of cash, earn the same
return… yet receive 3 times the cash payout on retirement!
Force your IRA to accumulate a MILLION DOLLARS (even if your earnings only keep
even with the S&P 500)! Just 10 short years of $2,000 contributions (done the right way)
turn into a fat $1.26 million on retirement! Top financial consultants insist their clients
take advantage of this sizzling IRA reward.
Eye-opening advice from professional burglars on making your home theft-proof. Every
one of your neighbors may get hit, but the crooks will pass you by.
10 quirky tax rules that are “ambushes” for unwary taxpayers! Example #1: 50% penalty
if you take IRA distribution too late! Example #2: 20% of your IRA will be borrowed by
the IRS for a year (at 0% interest to you) if you botch the transfer from your company plan
to yours! 8 more that will curl your hair are on page 52.
Earn $1,500 a day in your pajamas working from home! Little-known valuable service
means big bucks. Your own hours. No boss. Businesses are desperate for people to do
this.
Huge blunder parents make with their kids’ college financing! Your good intentions can
get students bumped from school!
From self-defense letters:
New (and simple) exercises that actually install animal quickness and viciousness
directly into your muscles and nerves… leaving it locked there until you need to spring it
loose! (Go from calm to frightening in a split second, whenever you choose… or whenever
you’re threatened!)
How to use the devastating ‘pop up’ push taken from the way tigers hunt in the wild… so
effective, a 90 pound teenager can use it send a Sumo wrestler tumbling!
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section IX-7
Leverage secrets that multiply every pound of your weight ten times, giving you “Godzilla”
advantages against even a much-heavier opponent!
How to immediately pump 40% more raw power into every blow you deliver! (Tom has
taught 78-year-old grandmothers to knock out grown men with a single punch!)
How to quickly make a strong opponent weak! (You’ll see his “will to fight” rush out of
him like a punctured balloon, while he exhausts himself with frustration and rage… turning
him into a nice soft punching bag for you, no matter how big and pissed-off he was to
start.)
From an ad for a “better sex” book:
How to guarantee your partner an “over-the-top” orgasm… every time you make love!
Amazing trick that instantly eliminates “performance anxiety” in men! (Used for
centuries by the most daring and successful lovers in the world.)
The 7 most effective ways to seduce the woman of your dreams – compiled by a rare study
of women themselves! (Plus… the SINGLE most important thing you can do to win her
love forever… and the worst sin you could ever commit – an unforgivable act that can
destroy your love life!)
How to replenish (and manage) a steady new flood of fresh, youthful testosterone…
allowing you to finally experience more frequent, more intense, and more pleasurable
orgasms!
What women desperately want from men (but will never come out and tell you)! Explains
what she craves from you (and probably isn’t getting)… and why the erotic rewards of
correcting this “sexual standoff” will take your breath away!
Astonishing “success patterns” that actually give physically unattractive men a huge
romantic advantage with women over the good-looking “hunk”!
From a bodybuilding promotion:
o How to shock your muscles into growing faster than they “intuitively” want to! (So you’ll
blast right through plateaus like they were paper walls!)
o How to give your most difficult body parts NO OTHER CHOICE but to grow… and grow
fast! (Techniques that took me 21 years to perfect.)
From a letter for a health book:
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section IX-8
Little-known herbal supplement has “100% success rate” for clearing up bladder
infections! (And, nope, it’s NOT cranberry juice.)
New all-natural way to increase serotonin (the brain chemical that fights depression) works
just like Prozac… minus the drowsiness and brain-fog!
Doctors are now using this hot new herbal compound to slow the memory loss of
Alzheimer’s more effectively than expensive, dangerous prescription drugs!
Inexpensive “sex booster” herb works as well as Viagra (without the nasty side-effects
most men report)!
One last very important thing: I almost forgot to mention anything about testimonials. A
testimonial is a quote from someone who has used your product with great results. And she’s there
to tell you about it.
Testimonials (“testies”) go way back in sales history. If you could produce, in person,
someone the local townsfolk knew… who would vouch for you… you could sell them anything.
Testies give another human voice to your sales message.
Testies are the written version of someone vouching for you. But don’t just copy down
any old long, rambling quote you get. In fact, don’t let people write their own testies – you help
them with it, so the quote is succinct and to the point.
I seldom use a testie over two sentences long. One sentence is better. So the essence of
what the person is trying to say must be expressed in short, crystal-clear thoughts. I also try to
find a different testie for each major benefit of the product.
For example… if your product is easy to assemble, simple to use, and saves money, here is
how the testies should go, approximately:
“It was a snap to put together.
to get the mail in the middle.”
Took 30 minutes, and I stopped
Bob Jones, Redondo Beach, CA
“It’s so easy to use, my 9 year-old son figured it out!”
Que, Long Island, NY
“I saved over $100 in the first week alone.”
New Orleans, LA
Suzie
Sherman Farquar,
Use real people – don’t make anything up. Use their real names, if they’ll agree. Seeing a
quote from “Bob Jones, Redondo Beach, CA” carries a lot more weight than “B.J., California”,
which sounds made-up. In my experience, they will not normally be tracked down by nosy
potential customers eager to hear the rest of their testimony.
Where do you get testimonials? Well, if you truly have a great product, some people will
call or write to let you know they’re happy. When they do, get their name, and ask if you can use
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section IX-9
their testimonial in a future ad. Most will be pleased to do so. Write down their statement… clean
it up so it’s short and clear… send it back to them to sign off on… and then use it.
If no one’s volunteering, ask for testies. That’s allowed. When you fulfill on your product,
include a short letter that says “If you’re happy with this, I’d love to hear from you. Just scribble
your comments here and mail it back in the postage-paid envelope.”
If you’re on your first promotion, and hardly anyone’s tried your product… go out and get
some face-to-face local input. Let your neighbors, the businesses on the next floor, the guys at
work, and anyone else you can flag down try your product. Get their reactions. If they’re
favorable, you’ve got testies.
The power of testimonials is that…
You Let Other People
Do Your Bragging For You!
So you’re not insisting you’re so great… all these other people are. If your reader is rightly
skeptical about your product… let him see what other people are saying. People just like him.
It’s a potent sales tool. I’ve included as many as two pages of testimonials in a
letter, when they were good and supported the pitch. The more outrageous your promises
in the ads, the more you can benefit from real comments from real people who agree with
you.
In fact, I consider testimonials so fundamental and critical to the success of any
ad, that I insist on having a bunch of them from a client before I even begin writing any
new piece. When you’re struggling to find the right set of “hot buttons” to hit with your
sales pitch, just looking over the testimonials that have come in can solve your problem
in a heartbeat -- the actual customers are right there, telling you exactly what impressed
them most about the product.
The two biggest mistakes most businesses make are:
1. Not collecting the names of customers and prospects, and contacting them regularly with
sales letters and special offers... and...
2. Not asking for testimonials from satisfied customers to be used in all advertising as the
most effective “third party endorsement and validation” you could ever possess.
Don’t you fall victim to these profit-killing blunders. Let other people use their
own words to complete the pleasing picture you’re painting in your prospect’s mind.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section IX-10
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section IX-11
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section IX-12
Section X
“How To Close The Deal.”
Don’t forget to get paid.
One of the most devastating errors in advertising is to neglect asking for an
order. It’s astonishing how many businesses weave a brilliant story about their
product… seduce the customer to the point of raw lust… and then never attempt to close
the deal.
That kind of idiocy will guarantee you’re always the bridesmaid, never the bride.
The exchange of money is the whole point of good advertising. You’re not in
business to take up office space. You’re in it to make a bundle.
The art of the sale is the art of closing the deal. Asking for an order, taking
down credit card information and charging the account, cashing the check or money
order. Counting up the moolah when the day is over.
Everything else is just foreplay.
My colleague Jeff Paul – a master marketer and world-class entrepreneur out of
Chicago – got his start selling insurance face-to-face. He’s a natural-born salesman, too.
On his first gig, he gave the rehearsed pitch, and then stunned his trainer by asking the
customer to “go get your checkbook.” That wasn’t in the training manual.
But it’s gutsy selling. The response Jeff got was exactly what he wanted – the
prospect retrieved their checkbook, and became a customer. Right then and there. No
more hemming and hawing. Time to get on the bus.
In a sales letter or ad, you won’t be there to make the customer “go get his
checkbook”. You have to convince him, in print, that his most critical duty right now is
to pick up a phone, or mail in a check. You must catch him in full “lust-mode”, and lead
him to the Promised Land without hesitation.
All good salesmen know there is NO grace period once the prospect has been
convinced to buy. If you let him put your ad down and “go think about it”, you’ve lost.
You must get him to act…
Right Friggin’
NOW!
That’s why good sales letters and ads have strategically placed “go get ‘em”
statements like “act now”… “don’t delay another second”… and “you must hurry.”
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section X-1
When infomercials run on television, the orders start coming in over the phones a
few minutes into the broadcast… peak at every “blue screen” spot… and then die out
almost entirely as soon as the infomercial is over. The “shelf life” of a magazine ad is
about a month (or a week for the weeklies), followed by a long thin tail of straggle-in
orders. People read old magazines at the doctor’s office, on vacation, or just keep them
around a long time.
Newspaper ads won’t pull much after the day they run. And first-class direct mail
letters will pull for around a week after delivery. (If you mail on Friday – which you
should, so you give your recipients a full Monday-to-Friday window to read your letter -you’ll start getting orders Monday… see a spike on Wednesday… and by Friday the calls
will thin out dramatically. The mail will arrive in bulk the following Monday, with a
smaller amount Tuesday, and the majority on Wednesday.)
Note: Many of my clients report an almost 50-50 split of phone calls to mailed-in
responses with direct mail letters. That’s approximately the split you’ll get of credit card
orders to checks and money orders, too. Magazine response will vary according to the
target audience, but not too much.
Online, it varies by market. But mostly, you'll see a bulge in credit card orders,
followed by PayPal, with mailed-in checks a distant third.
However, I've had some clients reports boosts in actual phone orders from a
Website when they made that option available.
But you’ll find your own response rates very quickly. Just be aware that a lot of
people will not use a credit card – because they don’t have one, or because they’re maxed
out. And your check-to-money order ratio could be almost even. Don’t ever discriminate
against someone who wants to pay without a credit card. Always offer the option of
mailing in payment, either by personal check or money order.
They’re trying to give you money, after all. And it can multiply profits.
But we’ve gotten a bit ahead of ourselves here. First you gotta close the deal.
Here’s how to do that: In your copy… after you’ve made your pitch, countered
all objections, given mouth-watering descriptions of all benefits… you must:
1.
2.
3.
4.
Create an offer no sane person could refuse…
Erase all trace of risk on the part of your customer…
Light a fire under his ass… and…
Make it as simple as possible for him to give you money.
Let’s tackle these points in order.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section X-2
The Offer. If you’ve been paying attention to previous chapters, you’ve created a
package around your product that is worth – in information, in goodies, in advantages –
much more than you’re asking in price.
It’s easy to sell lumps of gold at below market value. (Though I can’t imagine why
you’d want to do that.) What’s bullion at right now? Three hundred-something dollars
an ounce, I believe. Make that gold into a coin, and you can charge a few hundred
dollars more. Create a presentation of that coin, in a hermetically-sealed display case,
with lots of official documentation, a video on how the coin was manufactured, and a
book full of relevant information… and you can charge…
A Thousand Dollars.
It’s the same with any product you’re selling. Add value, add information, add
bulk to the package… and your asking price can go through the roof. I’ve seen modest
little books be repackaged as four-volume “training manuals”, accompanied by numerous
audio cassettes of the author mumbling through the manuscript, plus a scattering of thin
special reports enlarging on points already made in the manuals. And it all sells quite
briskly at twenty times the amount anybody ever got for the book alone.
How do you know how to price your product? Well… you must receive
enough money to cover all your costs of manufacturing, processing, storage, offices,
payroll and advertising. Plus enough profit to stay in business. There used to be nice,
tidy “rules of thumb” about pricing. Most of my clients simply cannot survive without
marking up at least 8-to10 times actual cost. But – as you’ll see here – it’s all relative.
Everyone is worried sick over scaring off customers by high prices, or not
charging enough to maximize profits. Most businesses look for a mythical “sweet spot”
where all their customers will feel they got a bargain, but the profits roll in thick and
heavy.
The truth is…
Real Salesmanship
Has No Regard For Price.
The bottom line is this: How much is the information or service you’re selling
WORTH to a hungry, passionate customer?
You probably cannot sell ice to Eskimos. But you can sell water in a desert. At a
high price, too. Probably, no one would pay much to hear your life’s story. But plenty of
people would pay a small fortune to see the secret diaries of someone famous, infamous
or notorious. (A British collector just paid $31,400 for 9 letters and 15 postcards written
by Princess Diana to her housekeeper.)
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section X-3
Pricing matters, and it matters a lot. I cannot give you a rule to go by. You must
“feel out” your potential customer base. You’ve gotten into their heads through
research… now it’s time to get into their wallets, too.
How much is the competition charging? Your SRDS (Standard Rate And Data
Service -- see Section XIII for more, or go to www.srds.com) will provide a lot of good
information. Each list reveals the price of the products purchased by people on the list…
and the number of times they bought (frequency). So if you’re mailing to existing lists,
or diverting traffic online from an existing database of clients, you always have a good
idea of what the prospects were willing to pay for a similar product.
But what about your original ads that pull in fresh customers from pay-per-click
online campaigns, search-engine-optimization, cold mailings, newspapers, magazines or
broadcast media? How do you go from not knowing what to charge… to finding the
“right” price?
Well, the best way is to test. Try an ad with a price that seems too high… and
then try one with a price that seems a notch too low. Compare response rates and total
profit taken in. If you can sell a thousand widgets at a buck each… but with a little extra
packaging, you can sell the same widget to ten people at $200 each, you will likely
decide to go with the bigger money-maker. (1,000 x $1 = $1,000… 10 x $200 = $2,000.)
Unless you’re prepared to make even more money on the back-end, in which case you’d
want to get more total customers rather than more total dollars on the first sale. (See
Section XII.)
This isn’t as confusing as it sounds. You know your market. It’s something you
enjoy, a passion and intense interest you share with lots of people. Place yourself in the
shoes of your prospect.
What’s Your Product
Worth?
The economics of direct response dictates that you must price your product higher
than a retail establishment. A hyper-efficient operation may allow you to cut the profit
even thinner, so you can low-ball prices and still make your fortune. A sloppy
organization means you need more margin to survive.
The best way to do it: Provide enough honest value in your product or service
to…
Justify A
Decently-Outrageous Price
You Can Live With.
There’s a little salesman’s saying: “It’s not the deal you got that counts… but the
deal you think you got.”
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section X-4
This doesn’t give you license to go out and start gouging and screwing people on
price. That will tank your business in a hurry.
No. This is much more subtle. Most people simply are not able to estimate the
worth of their own product. Of anything, really. Let me give you an example: I bought
a nice, well-used guitar in 1970 for $150. That $150 was all the money I had in the
world. I had to close my eyes when the salesman took the cash from my hand. It was by
far the largest purchase I’d made in my young life to that point.
The guitar was a good, dependable, journeyman’s axe. No one knew it at the
time, but it was destined to become a classic. I still have it -- a ’64 pre-CBS Fender
Stratocaster with a rosewood fretboard and Pacific blue metal-flake finish. Aficionados
now know it as the type of guitar favored by such greats as Jimi Hendrix and Eric
Clapton. I’ve been offered $11,000 for it, cash on the spot.
Yet it’s the same “experienced” guitar I bought for $150 and lugged around
fifteen cities and three colleges, playing in small bands and among friends. If I didn’t
know what it was worth on the open market, I would consider it just an old guitar worth a
few hundred.
What makes it so friggin’ valuable? The story behind it. The myth, the aura, the
way it’s held up for all these years. The perceived quality. Stratocasters made just two
years later aren’t worth a distant fraction of this one.
Well… that’s a long-winded way to explain worth, but I hope you understand the
lesson behind it. Things are worth…
What They’re Worth!
The market will let you know when you’re overpriced. Your bottom line will let
you know when you’re underpriced. Just keep asking yourself: What is this information
or service worth to a motivated customer? I’ve seen single hour-long instructional DVDs
fly out of the warehouse at $99 a pop… and I’ve seen 3-DVD packages on the same
subject struggle at $39. The difference wasn’t necessarily the actual instruction that took
place.
No. It was the story I could tell in the ad. It was the value in the customer’s mind
of what he was getting. Famous and notorious and outrageous talents will outsell the
bland and boring by a ton every time. Your local high school puts on Hamlet for $5. On
Broadway, with Matt Damon as the Dangerous Dane, tickets sell out at $500. Same play.
Become a student of your market. Find out what they pay for similar products
and services. Don’t be afraid to position yourself as the most expensive available… as
long as you back it up with value, and explain yourself with an intriguing story.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section X-5
Now… remember also Mark Twain’s right-on quote: “A man has two reasons for
buying anything. The reason he tells his wife… and the real reason.”
Great salesmen know to…
“Pitch With Logic,
Sell On Emotion.”
So make sure you create your offer with plenty of good, logical reasons your
buyer can use to justify his purchase. Imagine him explaining himself to his wife… his
neighbors… or his buddies. While they’re looking at him with a suspicious frown, what
can he say to re-sell himself?
Well… how about:
1. This truly is an opportunity of a lifetime. You can’t find this anywhere else at
any price. It’s cutting edge information that had to be smuggled out of elite
circles, who are outraged that “regular” people now possess it. But you can only
buy it if you are lucky enough to have a connection. The price is irrelevant,
anyway – I’ll make it back ten times over the first time I use the thing. It’s an
investment. It’s less than dinner for two at the local steakhouse. And, anyway,
it’s completely guaranteed, or I get my money back.
2. I got it for less than anyone else. It was a fire sale. They had to liquidate,
because of tax problems. The factory isn’t making them anymore at this high
quality – the next issue will be inferior. I skipped the middleman. They gave me
an incredible deal because I’m on a special list.
3. They’re not giving this information out anymore – they got so rich, they’re all
retiring. It cost $7,000 to attend that seminar live… and I got the tapes for just
$499. Look who else has one just like this – see, very famous and respected
people.
And so on. They bought from you because they were in a fever of desire. You teased
their curiosity, tickled their greed gland, stroked their ego. And also because…
You Shouldered
All The Risk!
He wants it, he’s dying for it, he’d pull out his wallet if only… if only… if only he
could squash all these little doubts about buying something he can’t see.
Well, guess what? He can relax. Because you are taking all the risk. Not him.
You. He orders, gets the product… and if he’s not happy, he can simply return it and get
his money back. And he has a very long time to decide, so he won’t feel rushed.
He has all the time in the world… and not a single penny at risk.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section X-6
You don’t guarantee your product with your good will and promises, either.
Nope. You guarantee your product with cold, hard cash. Here’s a sample guarantee
paragraph:
But you don’t risk a penny. Because you’re
covered by our famous…
6 Month 100% Money-Back
No Risk Guarantee!
Order the product, and give it your own
personal “test run”. Take a full 6 months, and
use it as your own. If you aren’t completely
thrilled with the results… for any reason or for
no reason at all… simply return it, in any
condition… and we’ll rush you a complete refund of
every penny. No questions asked. No hassle. No
delay.
And… you can KEEP the special report, as my
gift just for giving this product a try.
Create a guarantee that really does eliminate all risk. Let him pay after he
receives the product, so you have to trust him (and he doesn’t have to worry about being
“taken”). Let him write a check post-dated one month ahead. Or offer not to charge his
credit card for 31 days, so he has plenty of time to give your product a “trial run” without
pressure. Offer double his money back if not ecstatic. And you’ll rush his refund by
return mail the moment you learn he’s unhappy.
Insist that he return it for a refund if he’s unhappy. He doesn’t even have to give
a reason. His word is good enough. That’s how you wish other businesses would treat
you… and that’s the only way you’ll do business with anyone who buys from you. And
let him keep a lot of things… just for taking the small step of ordering.
Guarantee, guarantee, guarantee. Don’t take it for granted. Make your
spectacular and generous guarantee a main feature of doing business with you. Put your
generosity and fairness to work.
Now…
Light A Fire
Under His Butt!
Sure, this is a mega-generous deal, full of bonuses and freebies and prizes… but
he can’t sit around thinking about it. This is a limited offer that vanishes like smoke in
just a few days… and if you snooze, you lose.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section X-7
Here’s some matches and lighter fluid for you:
I’ve been authorized to make this offer for the next
7 days ONLY. After that, the price goes back up
forever.
There are only 127 sets available… and I expect them
to sell out by Friday. And when they’re gone,
they’re gone. And so is this incredible deal.
We’re only offering this amazing bargain because of
our tax problem. Once we earn enough to pay our back
bill, this deal is gone. My accountant figures we’ll
be okay in about a week. So don't delay.
We’re starting a national campaign at the higher
price in exactly two weeks… and at midnight on the
last day of the month, this half-off deal vanishes.
Last time we offered this deal, we sold out in 48
hours. Don’t miss out – if you wait even another
day, you won’t have another chance at this price for
a full year.
So act now. Go to the phone, right now, while this letter is burning in your hands.
Order without another second’s delay. Remember…you don’t risk a penny. And you get
so much, it’s almost unbelievable.
We’re almost done. You’ve made the offer… erased all risk… and virtually
dragged him to the phone.
Now, It’s Time To
Take His Payment.
You must make it so easy and painless to order, the entire process is over in a
blink. Make sure you have enough phone lines, so he doesn’t get a busy signal. Do NOT
rely on him having the will to call back. Tell him what to say when he calls:
“Just call 1-800-000-0000, and tell Mandy (or Sue,
whoever picks up) you want the ‘Full Bore Package with
the advanced hoopla thingamajig”.
You can use your
credit card. Or, if you prefer to pay by check or
money order (payable to XYZ, Inc.)… simply fill out
the enclosed Order Card and mail it in the postagepaid green reply envelope.”
I don’t have to tell you to make sure your phone line is up and running, do I? And
that Mandy and Sue are completely trained to up-sell and nurture this new customer like
the golden boy he is. As for your order card… well, plow through your junk mail until
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section X-8
you find one that’s so easy to navigate and fill out, it’s what you’d want to see if you
were the customer. Copy it. It can look very simple, but each word performs a critical
duty.
On the following page is the order form I used in a mailing for my own material
(please don't use it to order -- this deal is long gone). You can get most of what’s listed
(Swipe Files, Scuttlebutt Session Interviews, post your ads for a critique by me or one of
my team of copywriters) by joining the Marketing Rebel Insider’s Club® www.MarketingRebelClub.com/joinourclub/.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section X-9
Priority Order Form
(Just fill this form out and call toll-free 1-800-000-0000... or fax it to: 1-775-555-5555... or email it to
kickass@marketingrebel.com. Or, if mail it with payment to:
John Carlton, 316 California Ave. #114, Reno, NV 89509)
[]YES! I’m hot to get this amazing material... your best deal yet to anyone... and I know there’s no
time to lose, since this is an exclusive offer. Thanks for the 90 day money-back guarantee, too -- that takes all the
pressure off my decision. And John, I expect you to rush-ship my package as soon as you get this order!
Here is how I want to pay: [] Enclosed is my check or money order (payable to Marketing Rebel, LLC).
[] Bill my credit card: []VISA []MasterCard []American Express
Two-payment option: [] Please bill my credit card in 2 equal monthly installments
Card #_________________________________________________________________ Expires__________
Billing address:___________________________________________________________________________
Signature:_____________________________________________ Phone: ____________________________
(For processing of credit card only)
Here is what I want, and where to ship it all to:
[] “The Bag of Tricks”, where I get “Kick-Ass Copywriting Secrets®”... plus both Volume One and
Volume Two of your collected letters and ads... plus the 8 CDs for the course... plus a free year’s subscription to
“The Marketing Rebel Rant” newsletter...plus personal critiques of any ads I write for a year... plus 3 months of
Scuttlebutt Interviews... plus e-mail access for my private questions to you... plus a “½ Off” certificate for a
“Warp Speed Phone Consultation”... all for just $x,xxx. (Add $15 shipping and handling, total: $x,xxx.)
That’s a $350 savings over the original listed price, plus an extra $1,599 in freebies!
[] The “Damn Good Deal”: “Kick-Ass Copywriting Secrets®”, plus Volume One of collected letters and
ads... plus a 6-month gift subscription to The Rebel Rant newsletter... plus Scuttlebutt Interviews #1 and #2... for
just $xxx (plus $12 shipping and handling, total: $xxx). Save $256... plus another $912 in extra freebies!
[] The “Cheap Date” deal: “Kick-Ass Copywriting Secrets of a Marketing Rebel®”, Scuttlebutt CD #1,
free issue of The Rebel Rant newsletter. $xxx plus $8 shipping and handling (total: $xxx). Save $516.
Rush-ship everything (including my free report on “Power Words”) to:
Name_____________________________________________________________________________________
Company Name_____________________________________________________________________________
Address____________________________________________________________________________________
City_____________________________________________State____Zip______________Country__________
E-mail__________________________________ Fax #:_____________________________________________
[] You have permission to e-mail me: _____________________________________________
GHsem-12/02
Sign here only for e-mail okay
(NOTE: I will never, ever, ever give your e-mail address to anyone else. Why would I? That only generates bad
feelings... and besides, I just want to send you occasional updates on my stuff. You can have your name removed
from my e-mail list at any time, for any reason, immediately and without hassle. But I think you’re gonna like
hearing from me once in a while... JC)
Questions? Go to www.marketingrebelsupport.com and submit a ticket
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section X-10
All right, let’s discuss that order form a little. The “toll-free 800 number” is
listed as “800-000-0000” because I don’t normally use an 800 phone line. When I do, I
get a number specifically for that mailing or ad. (Thus, if I’d left the number on this
example, someone would call it and get very, very confused... because no one connected
with my office would answer. That number was only mine for a short time.)
I don’t normally use an 800 line because -- in my experience, for this market and
this type of product -- I don’t get enough extra orders to justify the hassle and expense of
having such a line. (Though the deal changes depending on which “answering” company
you hire or which Baby Bell you use for your own line, the bottom line of “toll-free”
numbers remains the same: You pay for the call. It’s free for the caller, but not for you.
That’s an expense you must figure into your calculations before running an ad.)
Notice the “two payment” option, too. When you offer products that are
considered “high ticket” -- over, say, $99 -- you can seriously boost response by offering
two- or even three-payment options. That means you ding the customer’s credit card for
half the amount (but all the shipping and handling) in the first billing cycle... and then
charge him the remaining amount in the next cycle. Usually a cycle is one month. So, if
your customer ordered in September, he would be charged half in September, and half in
October. (We keep the shipping and handling separate, and make it clear it is not
included in the refund. Your refund is for the purchase price. The shipping and handling
defrays the costs of postage and packaging and running to the post office. Keep this in
mind at tax time, too.)
But you must ship the material right away. Fast delivery is critical for the
“buying experience”. You want something, you want it NOW. The most insane phrase
ever cooked up by a Madison Avenue copywriter has got to be “Expect 6 to 8 weeks for
delivery.” Savvy marketers know that speedy arrival of the product will do two
important things for you:
1. It will decrease returns for refunds. A certain percentage of your customer base
will order in the heat of the moment... and then forget all about the experience a
few days later. And when the product arrives, he draws a blank, and sends the
package back unopened.
2. It will increase the “good will” you earn with your customer. Because
everyone else is treating him badly (and shipping weeks later), he will be
astonished when you ship quickly. This is the first step to having a good
customer “for life”. He will remember the buying experience with you fondly,
and be eager to give you another chance later on when you offer him something
else.
Pay attention to how the information lines are laid out -- offering a lot of room for even
people with bad handwriting to fit everything in. And each element is critical -especially the “expiration date” of the credit card... and the phone number (with the
disclaimer). We used to never ask for phone numbers in order forms... because it tended
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section X-11
to scare people away and lower response. That’s no longer true in many cases. There’s
been a definite shift in the way many consumers view the “acceptable encroachments” on
their privacy. And after you’ve bonded with them in your sales letter (you have bonded
with them, haven’t you?) they trust you enough to understand the need for a phone
number here. (Just be absolutely anal about not abusing that phone number, ever. The
ONLY time to use it is when there is a problem processing the credit card, and you need
to get ahold of the person quickly to resolve the issue. It is VERY common for people to
mix up the numbers on their card... or to forget that the statement goes to a different
address than where they live. Thus: We have two separate requests for addresses.)
If your marketing requires that you get phone numbers, use the same tactic I used here
with email -- ask for specific permission to call, and get a signature. Personally, I
despise outbound telemarketing... but some campaigns rely on it, and it seems to work for
some lists, in some markets, for some products. Just be sure to get permission.
Finally, notice the specific explanation of what the buyer gets with each
option. This order form has been super-carefully laid out for maximum comprehension,
and the absolute absence of any obstacle to getting it filled out quickly. There are 4
options to place the order: Phone, fax, email or snail mail. WARNING: There are
many marketers who test down to the smallest detail who insist that the options given for
ordering can dramatically affect sales, as I’ve said. Some feel that offering a mail-in
option delays the sale, and hurts profits. Others rely ONLY on fax, or ONLY on an 800
number. The only way to find out how your market responds... is to test.
It’s your market. You need to understand how it responds to ordering options.
When you do have a mail-in option, include a BRE – that’s Business Reply Envelope –
with your letter. Already stamped and addressed to you. All he has to do is fill out the
Order Card, slip it in the BRE, and drop it in the mail.
Do not ask him to mail a postcard with any sensitive financial information on it.
Give him the privacy of the BRE.
Do not forget all the crucial elements of your Order Card… including shipping
information, your address and phone number, price details, and a reminder of the
guarantee and deal. (Plus, be sure you’ve “key coded” it, so you know where it
came from when it arrives in your mailbox, or your fax machine spits it out, or
your phone rings. In the example on page X-9, my key code appears right after
the line for the signature to okay emailings. It’s...
GHsem12-02
That stands for “Gary Halbert seminar, December 2002”. I had spoken at a seminar
Gary gave in Phoenix, and he allowed me to mail to the list. I usually put the key code in
the same inconspicuous place on all my mailings, so it’s simple to find but doesn’t stand
out like a sore thumb. On the phone, it’s easy to ask the buyer to find the code for
tracking.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section X-12
Do not use a P.O. box as your address. Too fishy. Use a real street address, and
even give local landmarks in your copy so the place becomes real (“Our office is
in downtown Tulsa, on Main Street across from the library”).
And…do not miss the opportunity to reinforce his buying decision in the
“[]YES!” copy, as I’ve done above. Put the language in the first person -- a
simple yet effective salesmanship tactic -- so that when he reads it, it sounds like
an echo of what he might actually be saying to himself.
If you have choices in the deal, make sure they are clearly delineated in the order
card. Like:
[] Great deal: Get a sample bottle for just $19.
[] Better deal: Get 4 bottles for just $10 each.
[] BEST deal: Get 12 bottles for just $8 each. Plus all 4
special reports.
Your job here is to make the deal easy to understand… and easy to complete
quickly… with no important details left out.
In essence…
Just Keep It
Simple And Efficient And Urgent.
That said… don’t be afraid to have a large Order Card. Never skimp on
information because you think you’re jamming the card with too much copy. I’ve
created order cards that were two sides of an 8x10 sheet… because the guarantee was
pretty detailed (and ridiculously generous)… there were lots of choices the customer
could make (though it was by no means overwhelming – it was simple, and I made sure
he already had a pretty good idea what he wanted long before he reached the ordering
stage)… and I included more pieces of sales copy. Plus some more testimonials.
Because… sometimes you just have to throw in the kitchen sink to make the deal
irresistible.
Now… about online ordering:
There are built-in restrictions with most shopping carts available for online
ordering. They're safe enough, and most people aren't scared to order via the Web
anymore. (My Pop -- who lives in California -- orders his medications online from a
joint in New Zealand. Never thought I'd see the day.)
Regardless of the restrictions in what you can write, or what process you need to
follow (most have "standard operating procedures" for ordering that cannot be altered)…
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section X-13
you still have multiple options for using the same classic salesmanship tactics that I'm
just explain here.
The key thing is to REINFORCE the buying decision. Whenever you have the
option of writing more copy during the buying process -- after your prospect has clicked
on the "Okay, I'm ready to buy now" link on your Webpage -- use it to your full
advantage.
Web marketers who keep track report that they lose an astonishing number of
prospects AFTER they've clicked on the "buy now" button… which means they changed
their minds after engaging with the order process.
I have a few pieces of advice for you:
1. Go through the order process yourself, and do it critically. Know EXACTLY
what your prospect is about to go through… and if you spot any areas of
confusion or obstacles that may cause a prospect to say "Naw, forget it", then
either do what you can to fix those problems… or write copy that walks him
through the process.
2. This "hand holding" copy should not scare him off. However, if you know that
there is something about the order process that holds people up, just explain it.
And make sure you have an email address OR a phone number he can call to get
immediate help.
3. Many of the ordering processes in use online include some truly stupid "deal
killer" requests. For example, any old-school marketer is loathe to ask a prospect
for a phone number unless it is absolutely unavoidable. And if he DOES ask for a
phone number, he uses copy that carefully explains why. ("We only need your
phone number for processing your credit card -- we won't keep it, and no one will
ever call you from our company…")
4. The basic structure of online ordering is changing so fast, I am not going to
include any examples here. (One of the reasons shopping carts are keeping better
is that more and more savvy entrepreneurs are demanding changes.) Quick way
to stay current: Order from the top marketers online, frequently. Watch how they
handle you during the process (using pop-up notes, one-time offers, and soothing
copy to keep you going during multi-step procedures), and research the shopping
cart applications they use. When you find one you like, use it.
5. Above all, run all your "close" copy through the most brutal "bullshit detectors"
you can find -- your own internal one, and those of people you trust to understand
what to look for.
6. The deal isn't closed until the money that was in their account, is now in your
account. Even then, you must expect buyer's remorse to rear its ugly head… so
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section X-14
don't be shy about contacting all new customers with a "How's it going?
Anything we can do?" email.
7. And, above all, don't leave them stranded -- all customers appreciate having
someone they can call or email with problems. Have a real human being handle
all questions and complaints, too… and handle them FAST. We always get
emails back from people exclaiming how amazed they are that we handled their
problem or complaint so quickly… and (big secret), we've turned around MANY
a pissed-off customer about to ask for a refund, and created instead someone so
happy with us that they bought more.
It's all about the salesmanship. Treat your customers the way you wish people
treated you.
One final thought: When you’re crafting your close, remember what the great Claude
Hopkins said. “Never try to hard sell your customer. Instead, offer him the privilege of
buying from you.”
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section X-15
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section X-16
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section X-17
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section X-18
Section XI
“Your Starter Menu
Of Sample Letter And Ad Themes.”
Eleven world-class examples of successful direct response concepts… plus a
Proven Template for your own successful letter!
I
want to tell you about “The Seething Guy”. He was a business owner I met just
outside Los Angeles many years ago. Had a printing shop I used for small jobs, tucked
into a mini-mall on Pacific Coast Highway.
Every time I went by the shop, he was standing on the curb, looking about as
pissed off as a man can get without frothing. He was seething mad.
One day, I finally asked what the burr was in his saddle. He stopped scowling
long enough to point at the busy highway. “Over 100 cars pass every minute,” he hissed.
“And day after day, week after week…
None Of Them
Stop And Come In For Printing!”
It occurred to me that not too many people who need printing load up their car
with materials and then drive around hunting for a print shop.
Why wasn’t he advertising, I asked innocently. Say, the Yellow Pages?
His face went purple. “Because advertising doesn’t work! I tried it! It’s a waste
of money!” And he went back to glaring at the passing traffic with impotent rage.
Advertising doesn’t work. I love it. I actually hear this from various
businessmen. What they mean is that they paid someone to make up some worthless ad…
ran it a few times… had no idea if it worked or not… and gave up. Went back to relying
on word-of-mouth and foot traffic.
It’s not that advertising doesn’t work. It’s that a specific ad might not work.
People don’t say “Gee, honey, this restaurant just put a big ad in the paper. We better go
eat there.” They need to be informed, seduced, sold.
Ah, but it can be a long way from admitting you need to advertise… to actually
sitting down and creating one that will work.
Therefore, I’ve dug around in my Bag Of Tricks and come up with a “Starter’s
Menu” of sample themes for letters and ads and Website sales pages. Plus, at the end of
this chapter, I’ve laid out a “fill in the blanks template” you can use to rip through any
basic ad or direct mail letter… and be sure you’ve covered all your bases.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XI-1
So let’s get started. Here’s the first concept:
1. Use a Star, a Story, and a Solution. This is one of the oldest – and most profitable –
concepts ever used by marketers. Essentially, you have someone take center stage,
weave a story of woe that is shared by your potential customers, and then offer a solution
to their problems. Your “star” can be a celebrity… or just a regular person who went
through a harrowing experience, and came out richer/healthier/happier. You can be the
star. It’s your show.
Your “solution” is your product.
Here are a few examples I’ve created to illustrate the idea. See if you can’t
change the concept just enough to fit your own situation:
Bankrupt Computer Geek
Accidentally Discovers A Way To
Quickly Earn $12,000 A Month On The Web
… Right From Your Kitchen Table!
The star: The “geek”, who has gone from obscurity to running ads carrying his
amazing story. The story: How his company was chewed up by the recent Nasdaq
crash, and he wound up on the street, dead broke. You can understand the desperation of
being broke, can’t you? Of course you can.
The solution: While Web surfing to avoid depression, he stumbles on several
easy-to-use online tactics that will automatically position any Web site among the top 5
of every major search engine. That means an instant flood of customers. And guess
what? In this new book, you will learn how to build a simple site in an afternoon (even if
you’re a computer illiterate)… plus, you will learn exactly what kinds of simple Web
products sell the best. So… if you’ve ever wanted to earn a ton of money in your own,
easy, at-home business… this book can make your dreams come true.
Here’s another:
How A Local Plumber
Created A Totally Natural Arthritis Cure
Now Preferred By Many Doctors!
The star: A middle-aged plumber named Herbert Schmerbert, who needed to
support a large family. The story: How arthritis pain – a problem he shares with so
many others – threatened to turn him into an ex-plumber.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XI-2
The solution: An amazing doctor-approved herbal treatment that you, too, can
now get through mail order.
One more:
The Astonishing “Miracle” Diet Secret
Of A Frustrated Nevada Housewife!
The star: A woman with no fancy education, no access to medical research… just
a burning desire to finally get her weight down. The story: How she searched and
searched, trying every diet out there with no success (a familiar tale to many women)…
and how she finally figured out the secret of losing all the body fat you want, as fast as
you want.
The solution: You, too, can now learn the same “skinny” secrets.
2. The “I’ll Put My Money Where My Mouth Is” Challenge. If you have a product or
service that really does deliver over-the-top, measurable results that your customers can
see… feel… or count… then you’re in a position to use this amazingly-effective
technique.
Most inexperienced clients balk when I suggest this route. Yet, not a single one
has seen returns increase, or had to suddenly shell out massive amounts of refund cash.
That’s because, by risking your own money, you increase your potential
customer’s faith in the product.
Hold your breath, Bucko. Here’s a sample headline:
Is this golfing guru crazy?
“If You Don’t Drop 12 Strokes Off
Your Next Round With These Secrets…
Then I Will Give You DOUBLE Your Money Back!”
Just cannot stomach the idea of refunding twice the amount? I understand. But
the truth is, there simply is not a drooling horde of rip-off artists out there who will go to
the trouble of ordering your product, just to get double their money back. Yes, there are a
few. It’s a fact of marketing life that – even using every weapon available to lower
returns -- you can expect a refund rate of between 7% and 18% on any product you sell
via direct response.
But the idea is not to lower your refund rate. Nope. The idea is to…
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XI-3
Increase Your
Bottom Line Profit!
And that means more sales.
Ask someone to buy your product, without any guarantee of satisfaction at all,
and you may get a few sales. Offer a guarantee – a complete refund of every penny if
he’s not satisfied – and you’ll convince many more people to buy. The risk of getting
“suckered” is softened up considerably.
But offer a guarantee where you will reach into your own pocket to DOUBLE his
money back… and you will flip customers who would never otherwise consider trying
your product. You’ve done more than simply “assume all the risk”. Heck… you’ve just
put your financial health on the line. You’ve backed your product with cold, hard cash.
And that’s a very strong appeal.
Here’s an alternative I’ve found that works almost as well:
“Try My ‘Health Restoration’ System For 6 Months…
And If You Don’t Look And Feel 10 Years Younger…
Then I Will Pay You $10 For Your Trouble!”
Can you see how this technique might work for your business?
3. The “Market Test”. This strategy gives you an opportunity to create the urgency that
surrounds a limited release of product. You’re just “testing the waters” of the market,
with the absolute best offer you can make… which is the customer’s gain.
Here is the copy strategy: We are conducting a
market test for exactly 31 days here in Omaha.
During this time, you can get 5 of these products
for the price of one. And you may keep the extra
4, as our gift just for helping with this market
test, even if you later decide to return one for
a full refund.
4. “I Need Your Help.” Here’s an example of how I used this concept recently. Pretend
for a moment your name is Bob Jones:
From The Desk Of Joe Mahoney
President, MYA, Inc.
Bob Jones,
I Desperately Need Your Help!
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XI-4
Dear Bob,
If you will grant me one simple favor… then I
will let you in on a staggeringly lucrative
breakthrough in making money on the Web.
The “favor” is to read a new ad that Joe is nervous about, because it’s so
outrageous. He wants to get the opinion of some people just like Bob, before he wastes
any resources on a nation-wide campaign.
In exchange… Bob can have the product in the ad for a steep discount. The
accompanying ad, then, is a blistering story of earning massive bucks, quickly. It is, in
fact, the very ad Joe wanted Bob to read in the first place. To add even more realism, the
price offered in the printed ad has been circled with a red pen, and a handwritten note put
in the margins: No way are you paying this price! Because you’re doing me a favor, you can
have it for half this amount!
5. The “Grabber”. A “grabber” is something attached to a direct mail letter that
physically demands attention. I’ve had real estate clients staple little bags of sand to the
letter… explaining that this sand comes from the beach near the condos they were selling.
Then the letter went into a romantic story of who had walked that beach. (I think they
shot some sixties-era beach blanket movies there.)
Almost anything you can think of can be attached to a letter in lieu of a headline.
And in your copy, you have the opportunity to say:
Why have I attached a toy Doberman to the top
of this letter? It’s because I want to tell you
about a new security system that acts just like a
rabid guard dog…
Reader’s Digest has frequently sent out a letter with a penny glued onto it. They
mailed it a lot because it works. People are stopped cold by the physical presence of a
penny sticking to the letter they’ve just opened.
But why stop at a penny? Why not use…
A Dollar Bill!
Think that gets a little attention? The genius is that, no matter what your product
is, you can relate it back to a dollar bill. For example:
Why have I attached a crisp, new $1 bill to
the top of this letter? It’s because I have
something very important to share with you… and
it involves the politicians in Washington, D.C.,
where they print money…
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XI-5
Or:
I’ve attached a new $1 bill to this letter
because I want to tell you about a way to save
lots and lots of cash when you buy your next
house…
I have mailed letters with nickels attached… five dollar bills… lottery tickets
(they cost a buck, but you can claim they’re potentially worth millions)… ancient Roman
coins (coin merchants have unearthed millions of ancient “widow’s mites” that seem
valuable, but can be purchased for just pennies)… and checks made out to the recipient.
Here’s another really cool tactic: Attach a very official-looking check to the top
of the letter. And it’s made out to “Bob Jones’ private account #000 at XYZ Company”.
The concept is, you have written Bob a check worth $20 when he buys the product you’re
advertising. He didn’t even know he had an account with XYZ, but there it is, in writing.
It’s a clever way to offer $20 off… with the twist that:
The Money’s Already
In His Account With You!
Psychology at work here, friend. You offer a customer 25% off and, gee… he’s
sure heard that ploy before. Why is it 25% off? Is it outdated, or broke, or so poorly
made you’re dumping it on the market?
But $20 already in my account… well that’s something that’s mine. I have
twenty dollars to spend with these guys… and all I have to do is call and order.
Jeez, that’s sneaky.
Another related concept: I’ve had clients with Web sites send out emails that
explain there is $20 in your “Online E-Account” with the company. Good for the next 7
days only, on anything in the catalog. And look – here’s a hot new product you must
try…
6. The “Reasonable” Bargain. If you’re offering something at a steep discount, you
will dramatically increase sales by explaining WHY you’re doing it.
In fact, you can create a sensationally-effective campaign by using the story
behind your decision to lower prices. Here are a few examples:
We’ve just been slapped with the biggest tax
bill I’ve ever seen in my life. I fired my
accountant last night, who swore to me we were
getting a tax refund. The lying weasel. Now
we’re in deep trouble, and the only solution is
to let our best customers – that’s you -- “raid
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XI-6
our warehouse” for whatever you want… at firesale prices.
Or:
I am the biggest idiot alive. I just received
a full shipment of 1,200 new videos… and every
darn one has an embarrassing misspelling on the
label! I can’t fix them… I can’t sell them (or
I’ll get sued and run out of town)… and I can’t
even blame anyone but me for the problem. My
only choice now is to either toss all the videos
in the dumpster out back… or offer them to guys
like you at half of what they’d normally go for.
There’s nothing wrong with the videos – it’s just
the label. If you can live with that, you’re in
for the bargain of your life…
7. The “Information” Ad. This strategy works great with Yellow Pages ads (and the
online version of the Yellow Pages).
Remember – people don’t really care what your needs are. They care – and care
very deeply – about their own needs. This is as it should be.
But you can take advantage of this human trait with your ad. Look at your section
in the Yellow Pages. You don’t have to tell me – I can safely predict without looking
that it’s stuffed with ads that offer, at most, meager bits of information anyone can use.
There should be at least two that forget to include their own address.
Now, put yourself in the mind of your customer. You’re looking in the Yellow
Pages because you have a problem. Your sink’s clogged, you want to rent a car, you
need a dentist, you’re looking for a new place to eat.
Who you gonna call? The one with: Joe Bob’s Plumbing. “We’ll fix your pipes.”
Phone number, address.
Or the quarter-page ad that starts out:
Warning!
Don’t call a plumber until you read this:
Followed by a lot of informative copy concerning the need to make sure your
plumber is bonded, will not overcharge, will follow up, etc. And, oh yeah – call Myron,
who’s been a bonded plumber here in town for 30 years, and who will gladly come over
evenings and weekends, unlike most plumbers who only work when you’re not home.
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Section XI-7
How about the restaurant ad that looks more like a newspaper article than a
Yellow Page ad, and asks:
Are you starving for a great Italian meal?
Pisano’s is a family restaurant that has been
voted “Best Dining Experience” 12 years running.
Huge portions, friendly waiters, a view to die
for… and free desert! We’ll get you a table even
without reservations on most nights, and if you
mention this ad your second meal is FREE! We
serve Northern Italian food, which means lots of
home-cooked pasta and delicate sauces and spicy
sausages. The best wine selection in town…
Sorry. I got carried away there. But that’s what you want – copy that lets the
reader get “carried away”. This is pretty much how I actually described a local
restaurant to someone I know who also loves Italian food. I didn’t just say “You should
eat there.” I told her WHY she should eat there.
People looking for something want information. Get into your potential
customer’s head and feed his desires.
8. The Endorsed Mailing. This technique allows you to “piggyback” on the reputation
of someone else. Say you sell instructional books on woodworking. There’s another
business that sells woodworking tools. You are not direct competitors of each other. But
your client lists share the same passion.
Combine your efforts. Mail an ad (or email a link) selling your books to the other
business’s list… with a simple cover letter from that business’s owner saying “I know
this guy. He’s got very good instructional books. Check it out.”
He, essentially, “endorses” your product to his customers. Split the profits.
You’ve just tapped into a ready-made source of new sales, without having to run
expensive ads or mailing letters to lists that don’t know you from Adam.
You get the nice introduction… his customers feel they can trust you, since you
have his blessing… and half your sales job has already been done. Plus… you get to
keep every new customer as your own. (To make the deal as fair as possible, you may
want to split with your endorser your next sale with the new customer, too. Suspicious
business owners are understandably wary of having their customer lists raided with lowball offers that suck up all the best buyers. So don’t be shy about making the deal overthe-top fair.)
9. The Straight Pitch. Often… when you have a truly great product at a good price…
and you know the audience reading your ad is hungry… all you need to do is make your
pitch. No gimmicks. No excuses. No long stories:
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XI-8
Dear Fellow Rabid Beatles Fan,
With your permission, I want to send you an
advance copy of a newly-discovered portfolio of
photos of the Fab Four from 1965. And guess
what? If you call right now…
I Will Send A Copy To You Free
For The Next Month!
There are no strings attached, and you are not
obliged to buy anything at any time – though I’m
betting you’ll want to own it after you’ve seen
it. This is simply a great deal, from one fan to
another…
10. The Power of the word “Free.” The above copy incorporates one of the most
effective words in sales:
“FREE!”
There’s always something you can include free in your offer. Create a small
special report that reveals the secrets of using your product to its fullest potential. Make
a cassette audio tape, an interview with someone your customer would love to listen to.
Add an hour of free phone consultation to your deal.
“Free” is a powerful concept. But don’t overuse it. Giving your product away
free – say, by offering free samples – can cheapen the value. People then do not think of
it in terms of having to pay for it.
So use “free” in regards to items related to your product. One of the most
ingenious ways to do this is with…
An Ethical Bribe!
Go ahead and create the most killer special report you can write. If you clean
carpets, write a report on how people can clean up a thousand different stains and spills
themselves, using only ordinary kitchen ingredients. If you’re selling a video series on
how to play the guitar, write a long report on how to get gigs at local nightclubs. Include
so much information that the report actually…
Has More Perceived Value
Than Your Product!
And then offer the report. Free. As a “bribe”, just for giving your product a trial
run. You try my product, I’ll give you this hot report. To keep. It’ll blow your socks
off.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XI-9
And… it will reinforce the trust your customer has in you. Anyone who would
give away such valuable information must be worth dealing with.
Using a free offer is also the most effective way of collecting leads. If you’re 2stepping – meaning, you use advertising to collect names of people interested in your line
of business – then offer something of tremendous perceived value. For free. All they
have to do is call or write.
The second step is to fulfill on your offer. And include your sales pitch.
Hint: When collecting leads, you sometimes want to qualify your potential
customer a bit. Allowing him to call a toll-free number to get his free report or free
sample means you’ll wind up with a lot of “mooches” – people who like free stuff, but
never pay for anything. Simple fix: Use a toll number. A normal local call that will cost
35 cents or so. This eliminates the cheapskates.
To qualify your lead even more, ask for a token shipping and handling cost. Even
asking for $1.50 will weed out those people who want your info, but aren’t “hot” enough
to spend even spare change to get it.
Now… it’s time for the last concept in this menu. I call it the…
“Piss Everyone Off…
And Then Apologize” Strategy!
I must admit, I discovered this tactic by accident. You see, one of the ways I help
clients is with “Lipstick On The Collar” advice. In my world, a good salesman should be
able to talk his way out of coming home with lipstick all over his shirt. This applies to
business when you’ve screwed up somehow with your customers… and you need to fix
things.
I almost always use a letter to do the fixing.
Anyway, I’d just talked this client into mailing a letter with a personalized
headline that read (assuming you were Bob Smith):
Bob Smith And Family
Brutally Assaulted By Local Gang!
The product was a self-defense course taught by a guy who trains SWAT cops…
and who insists that it is a man’s duty to protect his family by learning this nasty form of
hand-to-hand combat. The copy invited the reader to imagine seeing this headline in the
local paper. As a way of “bringing home” the cold facts that it could happen to you…
unless you took some precautions.
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Section XI-10
Well, we learned two things. The personalized headline caused a lot of guys to
perk up and read the ad. And order the product. But it also caused a lot of other guys to
spit up their coffee and rush to the phone to…
Tell My Client
To Go To Hell!
Turns out, many men do not enjoy even imagining such a bad thing happening.
Oops. The mail campaign was immediately stopped.
However, as orders kept piling up, it became evident that many more men had
been spurred to action by the headline than had been pissed off at it. This created a
dilemma. Lots of orders, lots of money… and lots of people wanting to be taken off the
customer list forever.
I knew immediately what to do. We sent a letter to everyone who didn’t buy – all
those guys who had called to yell at us, plus everyone else, assuming for every guy who
took the trouble to contact us, there were four others too mad to call. And in this letter…
We Groveled And
Apologized Profusely.
We wished we had thought things out before sending them that letter. We were
sorry that many men were offended. We understood if you wanted to never hear from us
again.
However… if we could make amends… we would do anything to make it up to
you. In fact… we would let you have the product behind the offending ad… for less than
half of what everyone else paid.
And so on.
Well, guess what? My client pulled more orders from the “we’re sorry” follow up
letter than from the original promotion! The entire campaign was just a staggering
success. But they never did it again. It was just too hair-raising an experience.
The lesson: It is usually better to act and ask forgiveness… than to ask for
permission beforehand.
And you can take that to the bank.
As promised: Finally, here is the basic letter template I promised to show you.
Minus the personalization, you can also use this model for your editorial-looking
newspaper ads.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XI-11
I’ve already discussed each of these points in detail in other chapters… but if you’re
really hot to trot, you can use this template right now to write a good sales letter that
covers all your bases.
Here’s the template:
Top of the page: A short, pithy “superscript” headline that offers a tease, like:
What do 20 million happy customers know that you don’t yet?
Or…
Best of all, you can see it FREE!
Main headline: Here is your clarion call to your target audience. Personalize it if you
can. At the very least, describe who your audience is, and what you have for them:
Don’t Even Think About Buying A House
In Seattle Before You Read This!
Or…
Would You Like To Learn
How To Make Your Web Site
Outrageously Profitable?
Salutation: Personalize it if you can. Otherwise, just use “Dear Friend”. Don’t get too
cute, unless you’re sure your audience gets the joke. I’ve used “Dear Golf Nut”, but I
would never use “Dear Stock Market Sucker”.
Opening paragraph: Tell me who you are, and why you’re writing to me. Like…
My name is Dr. O’Malley. I’m a new dentist in
town, and I am looking for new patients.
Or…
I have just written a book on how to train
Dalmations so well, you can walk them without a
leash. I have been told you own a Dalmation, so
you must know what an outrageous promise this is…
Now tell your story: I call this the “here’s what this is all about” part of the letter. It’s
where you start your pitch in earnest. Explain yourself, Bucko.
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Section XI-12
Bullets: Tell your reader what you have… and then list all the advantages of the product.
Just make a list in your letter: “Here’s what you get:”. We call these little items
“bullets” because each statement has a little “icon” on the left, as a way to set it apart,
like this:
It has six gears instead of just five… which means
you can go even faster, without risking red-lining
your RPMs!
It’s been designed to withstand 4 g’s of pressure…
so you get a smooth, calm ride even at 110 mph!
Each of the four colors used have been
scientifically tested to insure maximum attention
from the opposite sex!
Now state your offer: Tell the reader what the price is, what all they get, and what the
guarantee is. Be generous: You’ll refund every penny if he’s not ecstatic. It’s easy to
order, too. Just call Mary at my office. You can use your credit card. The number is….
Close the deal: Reinforce the major benefit of your product. Remind the reader that
supplies are limited, or there is a strict deadline to this low price. Be a salesman. Move
him to the "buy now" link.
Code your ad for tracking: You want to “key code” your mailed ad, so each time a
customer calls or sends in an order form with payment, you can immediately tell which
ad he is responding to. Easiest: Give a department number, both after the phone number
(1-702-555-5555, Dept. 11-15) and your mailing address (123 Main St., Dept. 11-15).
Or, use a different name to ask for: “Mary” is for the letter you sent in December.
“JoAnne” is for the newspaper ad in January, etc. Use “Attn: Mary” in your mailing
address.
Add a “P.S.” after you’ve signed off: The P.S. of a letter often gets more readership
than the middle pages. So use it to make your case again, briefly. Best: List several
glowing testimonials from real people. Let them do your bragging for you.
Include an order form… so the customer can mail a check or money order if he doesn’t
have a credit card.
And that’s your basic template. It’s rough, but it’s the basic form that most direct
mail letters follow – more or less. The thing is, many of my clients express absolute
shock when I casually rattle off the elements of a good sales letter – it all seems so
obvious to me, but it’s a revelation to them.
Yet, it really is this simple. And yes, this is the basic model that works so well
online, too.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XI-13
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XI-14
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XI-15
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XI-16
Section XII
“Where The Real Money Is.”
Why your back end will be the most profitable part of any sale.
Never base your business on having just one product or service. To maximize
your income, you always need a back end.
What’s a back end? It’s marketer slang for…
Something Else
To Sell.
You can double, triple, even quadruple the amount of each sale you make simply
by offering another “must-have” product or service during the course of taking an order.
McDonald’s, believe it or not, actually doubled worldwide profits just by having their
employees say: “Would you like fries with that?”
Look. It is going to cost you a certain amount of money to sell a customer the
first time. List rental, printing costs for your letter, ad space in the newspaper,
maintaining a toll-free phone service, online data wrangling, web hosting… everything
that goes into the effort.
Well, here’s a revelation: At the moment your new customer consents to try your
product… it will cost you exactly ZERO more dollars to ask: “Would you like to buy two
rather than just one?”
Or, would he like to buy something else related to your product. If you sell
widgets at $39 each, why not offer – while he’s on the phone – a special tool for $19 that
guarantees each widget will last twice as long as expected.
Or…even better… a special advanced course on expert use of widgets, with 12
video tapes, a workbook and 6 hours of private consultation with a world-famous widget
master. All for just $599. Payable in six monthly installments.
Unless you ask…
You Have No Idea How
Eager He Is To Buy More From You.
To see how the pro’s back-end, order something from a good infomercial on
television. I’m a rock and roll fan, and one night I ordered the Time/Life video series of
music acts on the old Ed Sullivan Show. The original package was $99, I believe, and I
wanted it bad.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XII-1
On the phone, just after taking my credit card information, the operator asked me
if I wanted another video series they’d made, with rock acts from other television shows.
It was another $69 or so. I bought that one, too. Then they asked if I wanted to try some
new long distance service, and I declined. So we ended up the call, and I had spent over
$180, with shipping and handling, instead of the $99 I thought I was going to pay when I
dialed the number.
And I was happy.
It’s quite possible they would have just kept tossing out fresh offers until I
declined. If I’d taken the long distance deal, they would have asked me if I wanted
something else. A set of luggage, maybe. Why not? I was on the phone, and…
All They Had To Do
Was Ask.
Now, if I had been in charge of that campaign, I would have kept all the items
offered more closely related. A rock and roll rare photo book. Hard to find music CDs.
More videos. A newsletter on rock and roll memorabilia.
The technical term for that kind of pitch is “upselling”. You boost the total sale
up by offering additional items.
You should always have something to upsell. If you’re selling a book called
“How To Grow World-Class Roses In Just Half An Hour A Week”, you could create
another book or special report on how to have a lush lawn with the same minimum time
expenditure.
Or a video on how to beat rose diseases without fancy chemicals.
Or a manual on how to get into flower shows.
Or whatever makes sense as something else to sell a passionate customer…
Who Already Has His
Wallet Out.
The thing is, there is always something else you can offer. The two magic words
in book publishing, for example, are:
“Volume Two!”
You know those Chicken Soup For The Soul books? I was a featured speaker at a
recent seminar co-sponsored by Mark Victor Hansen, the author of that series. They
didn’t just do Volume Two. They went on to create some two dozen other variations on
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Section XII-2
the book. Demand seems insatiable. Chicken Soup for the Writer’s Soul… for the
Teacher’s Soul… for the Dog Lover’s Soul. It just goes on and on.
And last time I checked, these books still took up about a third of the prime retail
space at every airport newsstand, and still seemed like permanent residents of the New
York Times Bestseller List.
If they had been rookie marketers, they probably would never have considered
writing the second book. Most people don’t. And yet, once you know the secret of back
ending, it’s just a no-brainer.
In fact, most businesses don’t even keep track of their customers. They treat
every buyer as a new face… even if they’re buying for the seventh time! This is insanity.
(But common insanity. Even the great Joe Karbo – author of “The Lazy Man’s Way To
Riches” and a master marketer – initially threw away customer’s names after sending out
his product. Thousands and thousands of names, never to be contacted again.)
Remember this: The hottest and most enthusiastic customers you will ever
have… are the customers you’ve just convinced to buy from you.
A happy, satisfied customer is worth much, much more than what you collect
from that first sale. That’s something bad business owners never realize.
Here’s what I tell clients to do with every customer:
1. Keep a customer list, loaded with as much information as you can gather.
Find a software program that will keep track of what he bought, when, for how
much, and from what ad. This is not rocket science. Marketers kept this
information on 3x5 cards before computers. Get this list recorded any way you
can. It’s solid gold.
2. Create a “pipeline strategy” of back end products and services. Through new
mailings, each fresh customer is offered first a high-ticket back end product. If he
buys that, too, he goes onto your “Hot List” of best customers. Create more
products that feed his passion, and keep pushing up the value and cost until you
reach the point where he finally says “I can’t afford that”.
3. If he doesn’t buy your high ticket back end, then offer an alternative back
end at a lower cost. This puts him on your “Low-End Hot List”. Keep offering
him high ticket items, and if he passes, offer him a lower-priced alternative
version. (For example: If you sell a course with cassettes, videos and books for
$199… just offer the videos for $69.)
If he doesn’t buy any of your back end products, he’s still a worthwhile name. My
clients typically snail-mail every active name on their list once every 3 weeks. Any less
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Section XII-3
than 3 weeks apart, and you risk burning out your list. Waiting any longer between
mailings does not necessarily increase response rates.
For email, there are a few different models to use:
•
Hit 'em until they buy or unsubscribe. I don't recommend this tactic, but I know
many top marketers who use it successfully. The trick is to be able to re-supply
your list with fresh names as the beat-up ones leave.
•
Email everyone on a definite schedule -- which can be once a week, or once a
day. This theory works only is your copy and what you offer in each email is so
intriguing that your prospect WANTS to hear from you.
•
My favorite: Nurture your list. Email up to twice a week, but be sure to deliver
great content (for free) often… so your emails are seen as a resource, and not
recurring attempts to suck blood.
•
Last: The most common way of handling an email list… is to do nothing. This is
dumb, ignoring your biggest online asset. The low cost of emailing (you can mail
a million for the same price as ten, paying only for hosting and data management)
is the foundation of the marketing revolution online.
The Bottom Line: Have a plan for dealing with customers who buy your initial
product, but then seem to fade away. There’s no real science to this, but I advise clients
to mail a non-responding customer at least seven or eight times. Keep increasing the
opportunities for him to buy something else. Offer steep discounts. Fire sales. Any
plausible excuse for lowering prices and turning up the heat.
Don’t stop until you’ve offered a great product… at such a low price… that he
would have to be dead or completely uninterested not to respond.
Then mail him one more time. Ask him – nicely but with full intention of getting
a real answer -- why he’s ignoring your letters. Play the…
Aggrieved And
Jilted Lover.
Explain that you will do anything to win him back. Pick any product at 75% off.
Buy one, get three free. Order our entire library of materials, and keep all but one if
dissatisfied. Try like hell to get him to raise his hand again and say “Yeah, I’m still
interested.”
If it’s still dead silence, the name goes into the “old list” file. Don’t toss it. Once
or twice a year, mail your hottest, most successful letter to him.
Why are we spending so much energy on past customers?
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Section XII-4
It’s the old “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” thing. A customer is
someone who has listened to your pitch… been convinced enough to try your product…
and went to the trouble of making the toll-free call, or mailing in his payment.
He has raised his hand, and said “Yeah, I want what you got.” You’ve already
convinced him to trust you. You have his confidence. He’s a proven buyer.
For God’s sake, he’s…
Opened His Wallet
For You!
Many marketers will lose money to bring in a paying customer… because they
know they have fifteen other things they can sell at full profit to anyone who has shown
an interest in the product line.
If you’ve been in business for even a few years, just take any customer’s name
from your files and see what he’s bought over the course of that time. It’s called the
‘aggregate lifetime net worth’ of a customer. If he’s bought three $30 products over the
life of your business, he’s been worth $90 to you.
It’s also simple to figure out the average potential net worth of a new customer.
Take the total number of paying customers you have… divide it into the total sales… and
you have your average net worth of a customer. You should view each new customer as
being potentially worth that amount.
For example: You have 10,000 current customers. They bought $5,000,000
worth of product from you to date. Therefore, the average worth of a customer is
5,000,000 divided by 10,000, or $500.
Sure, some customers buy more, some buy less. But the average amount of
money a customer is worth to you is $500. So why should you freak out if it costs you $5
in free reports, or $10 off the top to get someone to buy that first product, and become a
customer?
Once in your clutches – and once you know how to “mine” your customer list
with smart marketing – he’s gonna be worth, on average, $500 to you.
And that’s nothing to sneeze at.
Final thoughts: Do not try to pull the old “bait and switch” tactic on your
customers. That’s the despicable technique where one product is offered at a low price…
but when the customer tries to buy it, he’s told it’s really not a good product at all… or
they’re all sold out… and what he really should buy is this other, more expensive
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Section XII-5
thingamajig. That’s dirty pool, and customers resent it. Leave that tactic to the losers
who can’t get a decent front end product together.
Sell your “best foot forward” product first. Then capitalize on your customer’s
good will (which you’ve earned) and continuing passion for the same things you love and
desire.
Lastly… here are just a few more ideas of back end products:
Buy 2 more at ½ off…
The advanced course…
The platinum advanced edition, which is the same as the advanced course, but
lavishly packaged so it looks great on your bookshelf…
A monthly newsletter or e-newsletter…
A daily subscription e-mail service when timeliness matters (like in stock
trading)…
A seminar…
The DVDs from the last seminar…
A tele-seminar accessible with a phone and a computer connection (so you don’t
have to leave your house)…
One hour of consultation with an expert…
The audio and transcript of interviews with experts…
CDs of the books… transcripts of the tapes… a book of the video…
And on, and on, and on…
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XII-6
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XII-7
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XII-8
Section XIII
“How To Find And Feed Your Own Flush,
Hungry, Passionate Mob.”
Create a near-perfect product over a short weekend!
Full service, that’s my motto. We’re going to dig in and get the rookies who
don’t have something to sell get up and running.
If you already have a product or business, you might be tempted to skip this chapter. I
wouldn’t. There’s a lesson here that even the most street-savvy business owner can profit
from.
I’ve sponsored, co-produced or been a featured speaker at several dozen
marketing seminars all over the country. The majority of these seminars were
outrageously expensive – costing upward of $7,000 and more just to put your butt in a
seat as an attendee.
At first, I was surprised to find that each seminar attracted at least one person who
had emptied his bank account, refinanced the house, or put off college to attend such
events… and who had no current business or product whatsoever. While other attendees
were looking for ways to multiply profits in an existing enterprise, these product-less
rookies were looking for…
A Magic Way
To Get Started!
Well, I’m not surprised anymore. You see, learning the secrets of master
salesmanship is a smart investment – it’s an amazing set of skills that work like crazy no
matter what you do in life. You can use these secrets to sell product, sell ideas… even
sell yourself, whether it’s a job interview or a marriage proposal. It’s the key to winning
friends, influencing people and scoring huge on the Test Of Life.
But I’m guessing your primary desire is to make independent money. Money can
solve a lot of problems that not having money creates. And, unless you plan to inherit a
fortune or win the lottery, that means…
You’ll Need Something
To Sell.
I’m also assuming you don’t have the seed money to go buy a McDonald’s
franchise or build a casino in your home town. In fact, I’m going to go out on a limb and
assume you’re starting from scratch, just like most of us did. (I didn’t even have a
kitchen table to start out on – my little rented ten-by-fifteen foot bedroom was home,
storage and office for a long time.)
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XIII-1
The good news is, you don’t need a lot of money to initiate your entrepreneurship.
The basic secrets you learn here will more than make up for your lack of office space,
staff and bankroll.
So let’s get started.
The following technique is understood and employed by many savvy marketers…
though, in my experience, it’s usually an astonishing revelation to most folks. Still, it’s
simple to pull off. (Tip: Don’t make any decisions until you have completed all four
steps. Getting “married” to any idea before you know the numbers is a recipe for
disaster.)
The first step is: You do not need to find a product to sell first. Nope. That
comes later. What you need first is…
An Audience To Sell To.
Missing this initial step is the biggest mistake rookies make. They say things like
“Hey, everybody loves my fudge brownies. I should start selling them and make a
fortune.”
This is backward thinking. Common, but backward.
Forget about any actual product for right now. The first thing you must do is
identify a group of people with a high Passion Index and the money to indulge in their
passion. Try to imagine a…
Hungry Mob Of Addicts
Flush With Cash.
Let me break this image down for you. Hungry: They are not getting enough of
what they already want. Mob: A large population of people. You’re not going to waste
time with tiny markets. Addicts: They are not casual about their desires. They are
passionate about their desires. Flush With Cash: And, they are proven buyers.
Understanding the Passion Index is critical for any business venture. Here’s how
I like to explain it: At the top of the Index is the junkie, who will hock everything he
owns to get what he craves. He is consumed with feeding his desire.
Have you ever met someone who has just been diagnosed with heart trouble?
You think he might get a little preoccupied finding a way to fix his problem? Consider
the most urgent needs of being human. Fat people desperately want to get slim. Broke
people want more money. Bald people want hair. Sad people want to get happy.
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Section XIII-2
At the bottom of the Index is the nonchalant consumer. Coke, Pepsi, ice tea, tap
water… it’s all the same to him.
Trying to sell to someone who has little interest in what you have is futile. Going
after small or dead-broke market segments is a waste of time. So now and forever, think
of potential customers in terms of…
Passion, Population
And Purchase Power.
We’re not going to attempt to sell fudge brownies to anyone, however. Yes, there
are a lot of fudge brownie addicts out there, but setting up a retail outlet is a crap shoot.
And we’re not going to try selling skis to skiers. The costs and headaches of
manufacturing anything are too outrageous to contemplate.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t still sell something to these passionate groups.
Let’s just be smart about it. The most cost-effective way to tap into any hot market is not
by providing goods like brownies and skis. It is by providing…
Unique Information.
What if you possessed the most killer brownie recipe in existence? One that was
developed by Swiss scientists on a hush-hush billion-dollar grant and rumored to be a
pure aphrodisiac to chocoholics. You think you could sell that?
Or, what if you had an inside tip on an undiscovered skiing paradise where there
were no punk snowboarders, plenty of uncrowded lifts to powder-covered slopes, a
luxurious lodge teeming with pretty girls… and the place was a snap to get to once you
had the secret map. Plus, you could spend an entire week there in ski-orgy heaven for
under $400.
You think you could get a skiing enthusiast to pay for that information?
Hmm? You say you don’t have any unique tips like that? Don’t worry. I’ll show you
how to find equally intriguing stuff, quickly. Be patient.
Because first, you need to understand Step Number Two: To truly be a success,
you must…
Sell Something You Love.
If you don’t like to ski, or are allergic to fudge, you will be climbing a steep hill
trying to convince your potential customers you honestly understand their desires and
passions.
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Section XIII-3
What do you like to do? What gets your motor running? Do you love to read
books, or tend roses, or sky dive, or work with kids at the YMCA? Make a list. A long
list, of every single thing you enjoy. Be specific. Don’t write “watching sports”. Which
sports? Pro hockey? Women’s volleyball? X-game dirt bike racing?
The key to happiness – which is the emotion that makes wealth so wonderful – is to be
involved in something you truly enjoy. If you hate cats, and start a business teaching cat
owners how to speak feline, you’re going to be miserable even if you earn a fortune.
You’re in a great position right now. You aren’t wedded to any idea, any product, any
future. You’re the master of your own destiny. You can choose your path.
So make it something you can feel passionate about. It will show in your writing,
in your enthusiasm for each day, in your dealings with people. In fact, the more passion
you have, the more it will show. It will shine like a searchlight in your eyes, and your
heart will sing every time you go to work.
The happy marriage of these first two steps will be consummated in Step Number
Three:
Focus On A Passion You Share
With A Hungry Crowd.
Now it’s time to get busy. And get dressed, because you’re going to leave the
house. We're going Old School in a big way.
We’re going to the library.
Why? Because that’s where the free copies of the SRDS are. Later on, when
money isn’t an issue, you will probably want to buy your own SRDS manuals, or at least
online access (I prefer the actual manuals, because the physical act of going through the
pages creates "happy accidents" where you discover things you would miss doing your
research online). But right now we’re going to check it out for free.
The SRDS is shorthand for the “Standard Rate and Data Service”, a company that
publishes huge books each month filled with information on over 80,000 media lists and
tens of thousands of direct mailing lists and online databases. This is where you’ll learn
everything you need to know about advertising in and mailing to readers of business and
consumer magazines, and daily newspapers. Plus rates and audience figures for
broadcast media (radio and TV). And you’ll find lists targeted precisely to specific
markets.
This information is solid gold, when you know how to use it. It’s the main tool of
professional list brokers. You can subscribe by calling the company directly at 1-800851-SRDS, or going to their Website, www.srds.com.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XIII-4
So grab the latest SRDS from the reference section, and settle in. The first thing
you want to do is look up the populations of people who share your passions. You’re
doing this to winnow out the subjects that are too small to deal with.
For example… do you salivate at the sight of a mint ’66 Shelby Mustang rag top?
You’ll find both magazines and direct mailing lists aimed at classic car buffs. There is a
Mustang Monthly magazine with almost 80,000 subscribers. Motor Trend magazine –
which reaches classic car buffs and other kinds of auto fanatics – has a base readership of
nearly a full million names.
However, you can abandon the notion of selling something to beach combers and
people who like to collect huge balls of string. The individuals may be fanatical about
their endeavors, but there are too few of them.
What else is on your list?
groups, flush with cash.
Remember… you’re hunting for large, passionate
How about golf? Bingo. There are multiple millions of identified golfing
enthusiasts in the U.S. alone. And they are very willing to put their money where their
passion is. (Golf Digest alone has over 1,461,000 subscribers. And there are mailing
lists teeming with golfers who have spent beaucoup bucks on instruction, equipment and
tour packages.)
So… you’ve hit paydirt when you’ve identified a market that is large… shares
your passion… and is a proven pool of customers willing to pay for what they want.
Now it’s time to create your product. You do this through the magic of Step
Number Four:
Quickly Become
An Expert.
Believe it or not, this is very easy to do. I don’t care how much you do or do not know
about your subject right now. By the end of the weekend, you’re going to be an expert.
Here’s how: The population of any given group is made up of three segments:
(1) the few who know everything… (2) the handful who know next to nothing… (3) and
the majority who know just enough to be dangerous. This last group is always by far the
largest. It’s also your target audience.
Let’s stay with golf. (We could do the same breakdown for any other subject you
can come up with.) The average golfer in America cannot break 90. Nearly half can’t
even break 100 unless they experience extraordinary luck. There is a small percentage of
golfers with single-digit handicaps, and an even tinier fraction good enough to go pro.
On the other end, there are legions of duffers whose scores resemble the summer
temperature in the Gobi desert.
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Section XIII-5
The average golfer is by no means an expert. He may have taken a few lessons,
subscribes to golf magazines, even watches the Golf Channel on cable regularly. But you
know what? He doesn’t know every obscure rule of the game. He can’t remember if he
should open his stance or close it to hit a ball off the side of a mound. He will whiff at
least one tee shot per round. And he can’t read a green to save his life.
Hey, you might be this guy. It doesn’t matter. Because, you see, what separates a
golf expert from a duffer is…
Information!
And where does Mr. Information live? That’s right. We’re going back to the
library. You’re going to find the section on golf, and you’re going to consume all of it by
speed-reading every book.
Whoa, hold on there. You say you don’t know how to speed read? That’s okay.
I shelled out $399 in 1984 to learn a shortcut way to speed through any stack of books in
a fraction of the time it would take to read them the normal way. And, I shall now teach
you that shortcut.
Relax. This is going to be painless.
Golf is the example. There are rows of books on the subject. Start anywhere.
Just keep track, because you want to handle every single one eventually. Sweep a pile of
books into your arms and dump them on a table. Sit down. Open the first book. Read
only the title, the contents page and the index in the back. Now, because you’ve picked a
subject you have some interest in, you should recognize much of the matter presented in
these pages.
We’re looking for information that will help the average golfer. More
specifically, you’re searching for overlooked secrets that will quickly improve his game.
Here’s a tip that will be explained further in Section XVI (“The Idiot’s Guide To
Consumer Psychology”) – ask yourself what, exactly, would make the heart of the
average golfer flutter with joy? What is his most selfish desire? What would put him
in…
Golf Heaven?
If you’re a golfer, you will know the answer. The biggest wet-dream of the
average duffer… is to be able to hit long, towering, straight tee shots. He wants to feel
the pride of stunning his buddies by hitting a golf ball so far it disappears in the distance,
yet so accurate it resembles a guided missile.
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Section XIII-6
So you have a good idea of what you’re looking for in all these books. You can
immediately toss the joke books, the fiction books, the photo books on coastal courses.
You’re after information that will help the average golfer hit longer tee shots. When you
come across a relevant chapter, read it.
Don’t allow yourself to get confused or stumped. If the author isn’t clear, move
on. Keep plowing. Skim or skip boring and irrelevant sections. And take tons of notes.
I like to use 3x5 notepads, one idea per sheet. That way, you can rearrange your notes in
any order later on.
Keep plowing through the stack. Keep taking notes about driving from the tee.
Take particular note of what is common knowledge, and especially…
What Appears To Be Unique Information
Most People Aren’t Privy To.
After the first hour-and-a-half of this kind of research, you will know more about
tee shots than 90% of all other golfers.
After three hours, you will have absorbed so much “golf talk” that you could sit
down and chat with Tiger Woods.
By the time you’ve finished the last stack of books, you will have a nice pile of
notes culled from the best sources on the subject.
Congratulations. You are now an expert.
Yes, you are. You don’t have to play a great game of golf to be a golf expert.
Heck, Bob Costas, the highest-regarded baseball announcer in the business, never played
baseball past Little League. The great Howard Cosell never played a single down in his
life, yet was a star announcer for Monday Night Football for years. (And the woman who
co-authored “The Rules”, the bible for women trying to get married, just got divorced.)
These people are considered experts because they possess a deep base of
information. Not because they’re skilled at performing the deed. And they’re not shy
about admitting it.
Besides, you’ve just seen almost every book on golf ever written. And in doing
so, you’ve stumbled upon one of the nasty little secrets of our culture – namely, most
books are horribly written, and deliver precious little information the reader can use.
The thing is, a person isn’t an “expert” because he really knows his stuff. He’s an
“expert” because he put what he does know into a book. Book. Expert. Write that
down, Bucko.
The final step:
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Section XIII-7
Offer A Quick Fix
To The Overlooked Corners
Of Your Market’s Passion.
We’re almost done. You have identified your target market. You have become more
knowledgeable than the average person. You are focused on what needs to meet.
Now it’s time to create your product.
The key to finding the kind of product that will sell in huge amounts is to follow this
simple recipe:
Find information that is so overlooked you can legitimately call it “secret”.
Use only information that offers fast results and is easy to use.
And make sure those results are almost too good to be true.
That means, if you found out how some golfer in the Balkans started hitting tee
shots an extra ten yards after lifting weights for three years, while eating nothing but
yogurt and sleeping naked in the snow… well, that ain’t gonna cut it. Even the most
rabid golf nut isn’t that crazy.
But… if you stumbled across a secret way to hold your hands that Ben Hogan forgot to
tell anyone before he died… and using this odd grip can instantly add thirty accurate
yards to each drive… well, you’ve got something there that every serious golfer would
consider paying to learn.
Write that information up, and you’ve got a book. It doesn’t have to be wellwritten – you’ve seen how poorly most books are penned. Save your brilliance for the
advertising.
Or, you could put everything on videotape. I have several clients who have used
a very down-to-earth style called “guerilla video” that is cheap to produce. The key thing
to remember is that your product is information-based.
It’s What You Reveal This Is Important…
Not The Way It’s Presented.
Look at it this way: If Marilyn Monroe in her prime slipped you her phone
number, you wouldn’t care if it was written in crayon on a stained bar napkin, would you.
It’s the information – the phone number and all that number entails – that is important.
On the other hand, a pesky insurance salesman could hand you his number on the most
beautifully-designed and expensive gold-plated card ever produced, and its impact would
be zero.
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Section XIII-8
So don’t worry about presentation. In “guerilla video”, you can use a handheld
camcorder. You can make your book as basic as possible – photocopied pages in a
binder. It simply doesn’t matter.
Tell your addicted mob you found an overlooked way to scratch their itch, and
they will reward you.
A final thought: You can use this research technique to improve your life, too.
Are you depressed? In debt? Crippled by allergies or a legal problem? There is a
massive amount of overlooked, underused and forgotten wisdom about every detail of the
human experience out there. Read everything you can about your situation or problem.
Plow through the information until you find your answer.
Don’t rely passively on an overwhelmed doctor or mega-busy lawyer or anyone
else to save you. No one is as interested in your problems as you are. (Many HMO
primary care doctors are now officially restricted to just 10-minute visits with every
patient. They are expected to meet with six patients every hour. They can’t devote very
much thought to your situation.)
So be proactive. Movement not only solves many problems, but just the act of
doing something to fix what’s broken refocuses you on the solution. You stop obsessing
about the problem. Go to the library, the bookstore… search the Web… get current with
the common wisdom, and then look for advice that runs contrary to what “everyone else
is saying”. Be smart about it. Don’t believe everything you read, and don’t latch onto
the first “miracle cure” you come across. Get the full story. It’s out there.
When my mother was diagnosed with cancer, the doctors seemed flustered and
uncomfortable with all my questions. The family was devastated and confused. So I
went to the bookstore and bought a dozen books on cancer and dealing with hospitals,
and I searched the Web. The next time I talked with a physician, I was almost as
knowledgeable as he was on current therapies… and I knew a lot more than he did about
cutting-edge therapies and alternative ways of looking at chemotherapy.
And I’d gotten much of my information straight from the Web pages of the
Harvard School of Medicine. This wasn’t crackpot stuff.
There is no excuse anymore for being in the dark about any subject that concerns
you. Whether it’s about your mortgage payment, which college to attend, the safety
record of your car, trading stocks, or how to cure allergies – it’s all out there. Every
shred of useful information the average “expert” has, you can find, too.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XIII-9
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XIII-10
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XIII-11
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XIII-12
Section XIV
“The Marketing Rebel’s
Million-Dollar Bag Of Tricks.”
57 proven sales-boosting secrets straight from the trenches!
You pick up a lot of tactics and ideas in 20 years. Here’s a glimpse into the hardworking brain of an adman who has earned his scars:
Position yourself uniquely. Marketers call it your Unique Sales Proposition (or
USP). Basically, it’s how you answer the question “Why should I deal with you, and not
that other guy?” And you answer that you are different in very specific ways. You offer
24/7 service, 365 days a year, while the competition only works 9-5 Monday to Friday.
Or, you offer a lifetime guarantee, no questions asked… while theirs is guaranteed for
only 30 days. Or, you are exclusively contracted with the FBI… or, you’re the author of
the recognized textbook on the subject… or, whatever sets you apart from the others.
Think service, measurable quality, price, or unusual credentials the competition can’t
match.
Blitzkrieg a winner. Keep snail-mailing a hot list, and keep running a hot ad,
until results dwindle down to break-even. My clients have found that you can expect
about half the orders in each successive mailing (at 3 week intervals). Remove the names
of buyers, and add fresh bits of incentive with each new letter. By waiting 3 to 6 months
between ads in publications, you can get almost identical results for up to a couple of
years.
Never rely on one promotion. Many entrepreneurs are astonished to discover
that they really do not have a business… they have an ad. One ad, which may work like
crazy at first, but will eventually get “tired”. Always have several ads, letters and
campaigns going at once. Multiply your chances of success. Don’t get surprised by an
ad that stops working.
Stay on it like a bulldog after a cat. There is no such thing as failure… just
mistakes you have to suffer through to get to the gold. I once wrote 17 consecutive
versions of a diet ad, over a period of painful weeks, trying to find the right pitch. The
16th version was the worst of the lot… but the 17th mailed to multiple millions of names
(at one point pulling in over $800,000 a week). If I had stopped at version 8, or 12, or 15,
I wouldn’t have had that kind of success. Keep after it. Everyone fails, sometimes
spectacularly and often. But it’s only the successes you have that count when the day is
done.
Chart a “pipeline” for every customer and prospect. Have a system in place
that automatically ensures they get sent regular promotions, and get tracked (so you know
what they buy, from what campaign, how often, to what pitch). For example: Joe Smith
buys a product from you. He gets “letter A” a week later, pitching product #2… the
“letter A” again three weeks after that (with the words “Second Notice” stamped in
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XIV-1
red)… and “letter A” three weeks again after that (stamped “Final Notice”). If he buys,
he gets moved to the next part of the pipeline, and gets “letter B”, pitching product #3,
followed by the same letter in three weeks, and so on.
Use a similar “pipeline” for lead generation. Real estate brokers, for example,
can’t expect to sell everyone who answers their ads. They have to “work the numbers” –
knowing that, for every 20 leads that come in their door, they will sell one. So they
collect “leads” – people who essentially raise their hand and say “Yeah, I’m interested”.
Many businesses collect ONLY leads from their ads, and work them with subsequent
mailings towards the sale. If you know from experience that you need to pitch 50
potential customers to get one to buy, rejoice as you plow through the non-buying 49…
because you’re simply moving steadily toward the next sale.
If your project is gonna fail, you want to find out fast and cheap. Mail your
best offer to a few thousand of your hottest names. Run in one of the most targeted and
proven publications in your market. If you can’t get your primo prospects interested,
you’ll never have a more broad-based winner. Don’t place ads all over the place, or mail
deep into lists, until the ad has proven itself with results.
Let the numbers tell you when to create a new ad. Most business owners get
tired of their ad long before their customers do. You see it everyday, and familiarity
breeds contempt. But your audience only sees it when you mail or run it. Home run ads
are hard to come by. Stay with a winner.
Best advice most businessmen never want to hear: Dump a loser project.
Walk away. Never get emotionally involved. It’s just a product, a means to an end.
Chalk it up to experience, learn your lessons, and move on. Savvy marketers never put
all their eggs in one basket. And they let the numbers – not their heart, intuition or
spouse – tell them how to proceed.
Fish “deep” in narrow markets, rather than “shallow” in wider markets.
Find the densest populations of people who want your product, and hit them with
multiple promotions, often. Try direct sales, lead generation, everything that keeps
turning prospects into customers. That’s “fishing deep.” The opposite is, say, running an
ad targeted to bowlers every month in USA Today – a “wide” market of mostly nonbowlers who don’t want your product. It’s one attempt, spread thin.
Personalizing your mailings and email can boost response as much as 30%.
“It’s just us guys talking.” The best kind of writing is called “I to thou” (or “me
to you” in modern parlance). Imagine you’re sitting with your prospect, alone in his
kitchen, just talking about your common interests. The fact you have something to sell
him is not even an issue yet – first, you bond. People tend to trust people who talk like
they do, like what they like, dislike what they dislike, etc.
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Section XIV-2
Just putting a big red “Second Notice” stamp on your outgoing envelope and
on top of your letter will boost response on second mailings. Putting “final notice” will,
too – but be honest. You can even say “final notice at this price”. Then, drop the price a
bit. (Also works with email.)
Use handwriting in the margins of your letter, in a red or blue ink. Real
handwriting, too, not that phony typeset stuff. Make it sloppy but readable. Circle the
price in the letter, and write in the margin things like “No way! You’re getting an extra
$10 off, if you call today!”
More second mailing tricks: Use a cover letter, on smaller letterhead stock, a
different color, a different typeface: “Hi. I’m not sure why you didn’t order this before
(and Lord knows I’ve tried to sell you on it)… but you sure did the right thing. We’re
closing out the line, and we have a final batch that we’re pricing at half off. This is a
one-time offer, though, so you must act fast. All the details are in the enclosed letter…”
And then direct them to your original sales letter.
Always explain your reasons. And always use a little personality, even a
misspelling or two, lots of clichés, lots of the human touch. Make your letter look like it
came from a person, not a machine.
Avoid “detail” blunders. Make sure your phones are working, first thing every
morning, and then make sure the people answering them are sober and sticking to the
proven pitch. Check that the phone number is correct in all printed material about to be
published or mailed – every marketer has a horror story about a national ad campaign that
ran with a wrong phone number. Some poor unrelated schmuck in Santa Fe received
thirty thousand mysterious phone calls, and not a single sale was made.
Multiply the number of times ordering information appears in your print
ads. If your phone number and address appear only on a mail-in coupon… and it’s been
torn out… all hope of catching a second reader is gone. Put your phone number in the
body copy, the P.S., somewhere else. Always be thinking of what could go wrong… and
then expect it.
Do what’s right for your business, not what pleases the people around you.
Don’t let lawyers or bean counters or spouses have too much influence in your copy.
I’ve had world-class ads completely emasculated because – without my knowledge – a
nervous-nelly lawyer with no sales training at all changed the headline at the last minute.
A great way to “credential” your business is to have a celebrity introduce you
in your ad. It matters not a whit whether there is any connection between you and the
celeb. I’ve used soap opera stars to introduce a diet, magazine publishers to introduce a
video training series, and local doctors to introduce a totally unrelated business. It’s a
quirk of human nature that people trust the word of someone who’s been on television, or
has his photo in a magazine, or a “Dr.” in front of his name.
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Section XIV-3
Create your own Rave Review, and tell the PR agency to take a hike. The
best way to establish your business on the local or national stage is to write your own
news story (using a third person narrative style), make it up to look like a news story, and
run it in a real newspaper. Never wait for a journalist to get excited about your stuff.
You’re already excited – just tell your story in a newsy format.
TEST! Mail half your letters using one appeal, half with a totally different sales
slant. Change the headline and price. Never try to guess what the best price, or appeal,
of your product is. Find out. You may be astonished to learn just how much people will
pay for what you’ve got… or how much more you can sell at a lower price. The best and
most successful marketers are always testing. You can get a statistically significant
response (which means you can trust the numbers) from as little as 2,000 letters mailed to
any one list.
Create your own competition. Form another company, as soon as you hit it big,
which sells a knock-off of your product at a lower price. If you don’t, someone else will,
and there’s a fortune to be made in these “undermarkets”. Use a different appeal, a
raunchier look, a different name and mailing address. If you’re selling solid gold soup
urns to high-end households in gated communities, then your knock-off is gold-plated
chili bowls to the trailer parks. (And they look just like the real thing!) For every golfer
who will pay $99 for an instructional package that contains a professionally-edited DVD,
workbook and motivational audio cassette from a well-known PGA pro who just won the
U.S. Open… there is also a semi-broke duffer willing to risk $19 on a grainy home movie
shot with a handheld camcorder by the drunk who was forced off the K-Mart Pro-Am…
as long as the BENEFIT is the same. Part of your market doesn’t care what it costs –
they just want the damn secret. And part of your market DOES care what it costs – but
will respond eagerly when the price is right.
Treat your customer list like gold. Nurture and protect it. Each name is worth
cash. Treat it that way.
Longer guarantees do not increase refund rates. In fact, they tend to lower the
number of returns. I have a client who insisted on a 3-month guarantee period. I pushed
it up to 6 months… then a year… and then infinity. The customer can return the product
anytime in his lifetime. His grandkids can get a refund. We suspect returns go down
because, knowing they have all the time in the world, customers tend to forget about the
guarantee altogether.
Keep adding to the perceived value of your product, using easy and simple
add-ons like special reports or transcripts of interviews with important people. People
who are passionate about a subject never tire of hearing about it. Keep adding on
information. A book might sell for $29. That same book, with a set of CDs of the author
reading from it (so you can listen in your car) boosts the value of the book to $99.
Offer a “loaded choice”. When painting vivid pictures for your prospect, help
him see the two choices ahead: “In 6 months, you can be in your same old job, feeling
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Section XIV-4
the same old frustrations… or… you can be lying on the beach in the Bahamas, knowing
your new home business is running on greased grooves, earning you a fortune while you
cruise…”
Use a recorded message. Have a machine pick up your phone calls, and you
solve two problems: (1) Lots of people would rather not speak to a live operator, but will
gladly leave their name and number on a machine… and (2) You don’t need a staff.
Online, use videos the same way -- to deliver info that best comes across from a human
being (rather than in copy), but without having to endure a live salesman.
Use a FREE recorded message to bring your ad costs down. Instead of
running a huge – and mega-expensive – ad in, say, USA Today… run a small ad referring
interested people to your free recorded message. They will listen to 5 minutes and more
of your pitch, as long you are fascinating and feed their needs. And, they will leave their
ordering information. Or, on 2-step ads, they will leave shipping information, and you
can send them a free report which includes your sales letter.
Do your selling on your Web site. Run smaller ads referring people to your
Web site, where your longer sales letter is posted. We’re almost at the point where you
can count on a majority of your audience being “wired” to the Web.
Joe Polish’s “wrong fax” technique. Joe is a master marketer who constantly
gloms onto new ideas that just leave me shaking my head in admiration. Many
businesses have successfully sold product by obtaining fax numbers and mailing their
pitches. This ingenious twist uses psychology: Fax your sales pitch intentionally to the
wrong name. If your name is Pete, and you get a confidential fax addressed to “Sally”…
which just happens to contain a breathtaking pitch for a product you also want… you
don’t feel like you’ve just pitched. You peeked at someone else’s fax, and you’re getting
in on an “insider” deal you wouldn’t otherwise have known about. Lucky you.
Send no money. No matter how much you take off your regular price, you
cannot beat the appeal of “Send no money now. I’ll ship you the widget, on my dime.
Take a month to try it. If you want to keep it, I will bill you later. There is no risk.”
Post-dated check. Or, ask for a check post-dated to one month from the day they
received your pitch. Rush them the product. If they like it, they need do nothing else,
and you’ll cash the check. If they’re unhappy, they simply call and you mail their
uncashed check back to them. Only a highly-qualified potential customer will do this.
Yet, all the perceived risk on your shoulders, not his.
When selling high-ticket items – over $99 – you can increase response by
offering 3 monthly payments on her credit card to spread out the charges.
Tele-seminars. Google "tele-seminar services" to quickly and easily set up a
mass conference call, where you can talk to hundreds of people at one time. For cheap.
(It's absolutely stunning how inexpensive things continue to be online, versus the
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physical world.) You decide on who participates and who is muted. This means they can
attend your seminar without leaving home. Insider tip: Since there is no interaction on
many of these mass calls, you can actually pre-record your speech or lecture. So there’s
no pressure at all. You don’t even have to be in the office while you’re wowing the
crowd.
Use a monthly newsletter or e-newsletter or frequently-updated blog to stay
in contact with your customers. The trick is to make it drop-dead interesting. The best
newsletters are not fancy ones with lots of graphics… but simple typed letters with a few
pages of fascinating information. You can include an ad with each issue, but hide it in a
separate sealed envelope. The main reason for the newsletter is to stay bonded with your
customers. Only through that bond will you continue to sell product.
Or, you can send regular emails filled with good information. Again, if you
include a sales pitch, make it a separate file. You do not want your customers sighing
“Well, what’s he gonna try to sell me today”. Rather, the response you want is: “ Hey!
An email from those zany guys at Toad, Inc. Let’s see what they’re up to now.” On both
the newsletter and the emails, you can either send them free, or as part of a premium
service your customer pays for. How much is the info you have worth?
If you sell timely information – say, stock trading tips – you can use daily
emails. Have one waiting for them one hour before the market opens every day. It
establishes you as the “go to” expert they can trust.
An old door-to-door salesman’s tactic is to offer to emboss the product with the
customer’s name. The advanced version is to call and tell your prospect there’s one in
your office with his name already on it. All he has to do is say the word, and you’ll send
it. Psychology: People want what they feel is “theirs”.
The “Take Away” Caveat: Using the flip side of the above shrink tactic… tell
your prospect this product may, indeed, NOT be for him. Not everyone can handle new
wealth… or the burdens of suddenly being so much more attractive to the opposite sex…
or the demands of so many more customers coming in your door. The more you try to
take the offer away, the more he will want it.
“Keep most of the package, and still get a refund.” The costs of making your
product should be absorbed easily in your asking price. Typical direct response mark-up
is 3-to-10 times cost. This allows you to offer your prospect to keep much of the
package. Say, if you’re selling vitamins – tell him to try a full month’s supply, and send
back the empty bottle if not satisfied for a full refund. Or, send out fifteen special reports
with your book, and let him keep all fifteen if he decides to send the book back for a
refund.
Fulfill fast… and make a point of it in your sales copy. Only idiot marketers
get a prospect all excited and then tell him to expect delivery “in four to six weeks.”
That’s like pouring cold water on your customer. Ship the same day you receive the
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order. Yes, even before the check clears the bank. None of my clients have ever been
seriously burned doing this to their own list.
Send out a “stick letter” that arrives before your product. This letter
reinforces the sale by telling him what a great decision he just made, and to expect the
product in the next day or two. Then offer him a back end product. Yes, people will buy
another product from you even before they get the first one they ordered.
Offer to buy one for him, out of your own pocket. This is a much stronger
appeal than “get one free”.
Include some extra order coupons in your letter, so your customer can get his
friends in on the deal. Or, after he’s happy with the product, offer him a free gift to tell a
friend about how happy he is. Make sure the friend gets a great deal, so your customer
looks good.
Reward your current customers for bringing in friends. Offer free stuff, extra
discounts, a subscription extension for every person they turn you on to. In small
markets, word-of-mouth will be your most effective sales tool. This includes Internet
chat rooms, where your fans can spread the word. (But don’t go fishing in chat rooms for
customers directly – the “purists” who demand commerce-free chatting will hunt you
down with spam and viruses and hacking if you sully their rooms with capitalism.
Beware. The only allowable kind of advertising is a passive “hey, I used XYZ for that
problem, and it really helped.”)
Never forget to KEY CODE every ad and snail-mail letter. Make each ad
accountable to the numbers. Easiest: Just put a department number in your address,
keyed to the mailing or magazine. (Ex: Dept. B5-02 = “B” for Business Week, “5-01”
for May 2002.) This way, you can easily which ads worked last year or five years ago,
when the ad got tired, number of customers pulled and cash brought in, number or
returns, etc… and by attaching the code to each new customer name, you know where he
came from.
All photos and graphics must earn their space. It they don’t contribute to your
sales pitch, take ‘em out. Never sacrifice sales copy for graphics. (This is a major reason
online sites fail -- if a geek with too much access to graphics applications gains control,
you'll create a site that is so overloaded with distractions, no selling can take place. Start
simple. Add animation, video and audio slowly, and test.)
Go to smaller type in your print ads rather than cut critical copy. If you’re
reaching an audience who is passionate about your product, they will squint.
Tell the whole story, every time. No one’s panting to see your latest ad and
compare it with the last one. Never assume your customer has memorized a single thing
about you or your company.
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When your market is crowded with competitors: Offer a free gift to new
customers, when they order. All other things equal, you’ll get the business. Make the
gift something of value – so you don’t ignite the “oh, yuck” reaction, and get the “hey,
cool” one you want -- but do not give away what the gift actually is in your ad. Appeal to
your customer’s curiosity and greed.
Offer a free gift to old customers as appreciation, with order. Re-enthuse them
about doing business with you. Again, don’t give away what the gift is beforehand.
Make your offer different from everyone else. If they’re shouting “cheaper”,
then just come out with a flat profit percent – “We only earn 3% on every deal, which is
fair.” No tricks. The competition touting cheaper prices, in contrast, will be suspected of
lesser quality. Never fight head on. Use a little Zen creativity.
Everything that works in direct response works on the Web. It took me 3
years to convince most of my clients to ditch the fancy graphics, animation and wraparound neon type on their sites… and just use regular blocks of white background with
black letters. Make your Web page look exactly like a letter, with blocks of 8-1/2x11
white “pages”, page numbers, a brief space, and then another “page”. People will scroll
down a 14-page continuous letter on the Web… as long as you feed their desires and
needs.
Use short Web addresses (like “XYZ.com”). Also make your phone number
memorable: 1-800-ITS FREE. Even non-dyslexic people scramble numbers when
they’re rushing to write them down during a 60-second spot. Alternate Web address
strategy: Increasingly, savvy marketers are using headlines as their URL: www.sellyour-house-fast-for-top-dollar.com The jury is still out on whether it’s better to use
dashes between each word or just smush all the words together
(www.sellyourhousefastfortopdollar.com)... I like the clarity of the dashes. Don’t worry
about the length of your URL -- most people know how to use “copy and paste”
functions, and search engines usually offer a direct link anyway.
Walk a mile in his shoes. If you can truly guess the emotional state of your
prospect… do it.
Don’t guess, however. If you’re writing to Democrats after a bad political drubbing, you
can guess their feelings. If you’re writing to geezers about how bad music on the radio is
today (and you’ve got oldies on tape), share their frustration.
And, lastly… a little trick for beginning copywriters. Drop the first paragraph
(and, sometimes, the entire first page) of copy in your letter. You’re probably mumbling.
It’s the written equivalent of clearing your throat before getting to the point.
Be brutal with yourself, take a step back and find the real starting point of your
pitch, even if it’s on page 2. Don’t ask the reader to suffer through any warming up copy.
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Final note: Be sure to regularly visit my own blog at, www.john-carlton.com. There are
years worth of archives available there, for free, crammed with updated info, and timeless
lessons for savvy marketers.
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Notes
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Notes
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Notes
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Section XV
“Operation Moneysuck.”
Your number one job is to bring in the cash.
Here’s a simple concept that will change your life forever.
And I’ll explain it with a short story: Long ago, I was the freelancer that many
L.A. ad agencies snuck in the back door to do the writing their own copywriters couldn’t
handle. I enjoyed the role. And it paid very well.
It also gave me an opportunity to watch the corporate advertising world in action
from the inside. What I observed was horrifying and consistent: The majority of
everyone’s working hours were spent either in…
Totally Useless Meetings… Or
Solving An “Urgent” Crisis!
They were constantly stumbling two steps forward, then falling three steps back,
getting nowhere. It took Divine intervention to get a project completed. Heck, entire
departments broke down into chaos when the copier went on the fritz.
Now fast-forward to one of my first writing sessions with the infamous marketing
guru Gary Halbert (who gets little argument when he bills himself as the “greatest living
copywriter”). We get settled in his office – it’s early morning – and before we can start
moving on any project… two of his secretaries burst in with a litany of bad news. Taxes
are due tomorrow. The owner of the main print shop is in the waiting room, looking
grim. The computer just crashed. The building’s landlord is on hold, apparently pissed
off.
Every fire sounded like something we should take care of right away. I sighed,
assuming our “get down to business” session was going to be delayed.
I was wrong. Gary shooed the secretaries away and locked the door. And started
writing ads.
“What about all those emergencies?” I asked.
“Screw ‘em,” he said. “Our job is to bring in the money.” And we spent the next
six hours doing just that. Writing ads and making phone-calls that brought in the money.
This was Operation Moneysuck in full gear. And it’s a simple, two-part lesson
all business owners need to take to heart:
1. Money will take care of problems that not having money creates… and…
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2. You’re the guy who knows how to bring in the money. Don’t waste time doing
something that doesn’t produce bucks.
I know businessmen who change the oil in their own car. Clean their own houses. Fix
their own computers. Decide what art to put on the office walls.
This is nuts. Every hour you put into your business will bring you major moolah
back in. What are you worth an hour, anyway? $100 an hour? More? I know that in a
good year, every one of my productive hours can net me as much as $5,000.
So why in the world are you doing jobs you can pay someone $10 or $20 or even $50
an hour to do for you? You’re losing twice – not only are you wasting precious time
(which is irreplaceable), you’re also stealing potential cash from your business.
Look It’s very likely that you are the ONLY person in your business with the
capabilities and knowledge and skills to bring in new business… and make sure projects
get completed. This is the ONLY way your business prospers. When you don’t do these
things…
They Don’t
Get Done!
So… your number one job… and your number two job… and your numbers three,
four, five and on down jobs… is to bring in the money. Money will solve almost every
business-related problem you have.
As for everything else that happens, you should either…
1. Delegate to someone who can handle it (or learn to handle it)…
2. Put it off… or, my favorite…
3. Ignore it.
Imagine what it was like during the invasion of Normandy during World War II. Your
job is to land on the beach, get past the incoming ordinance, and take out the enemy guns
without getting killed. Your job is NOT to make sure the boat behind you also landed
safely… or tend to wounded… or make sure the camera crews are getting good film.
Even if those jobs are also important and necessary… that’s not what you’re there for.
What kind of fires are interrupting you? If your car won’t start, have someone go
rent another one to get through the week. If your copier has melted down, go to Kinko’s,
for God’s sake. Let your secretaries take care of the landlord and the print shop owner.
Heck, spend the afternoon writing a killer ad that brings in enough dough for the down
payment on your own building, and tell the landlord to stick it. Then buy out the printer.
You’ll be astonished how many “red alert fires” actually fizzle out all on their
own. And… how many “major” disasters can be solved with the higher profits you earn
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by keeping your nose where it belongs. (Did your precious computer crash? Instead of
spending 20 hours trying to fix it, focus those 20 hours on creating new business that
brings in so much cash you can simply buy a fresh computer and toss the old one for
junk.)
If you work alone, use your message machine as your receptionist. I never
answer the phone when I’m hot on a job. Everybody gets the machine. If I hear the
voice of someone I want or need to talk to, I pick up. Very simple.
If you need staff, spend ALL your energy finding one person who will treat your
business as their own. Someone who can make a friggin’ decision, who will follow
through, and doesn’t need to ask permission for every paper clip purchase. Your own
loyal Gal or Man Friday.
Then let that person hire everyone else and run the office. Fix the equipment.
Soothe the landlord’s feelings. Run the payroll.
My own office is a disaster area. Books and papers piled up everywhere. I
haven’t seen the top of my desk in a year. The computer screen is smudged, my
keyboard smeared with peanut butter.
And I may get around to tidying up at some point. But not today. Not tomorrow.
Nope. This little disaster area also happens to be some of …
The Most Profitable Square Footage
In Town!
Who cares if it’s messy? That’s not important. And don’t give me that “but I
can’t work unless my desk is clean” bullshit. I’ve written ads in crowded airports,
scribbled million-dollar ideas on bar napkins, worked longhand on the back of coffeestained grocery lists while driving my car on the freeway.
Any excuse you make not to work on Operation Moneysuck is just that – an
excuse. It’s worthless.
When I ran an small corporate department in Silicon Valley (one of my ill-fated
attempts at a regular job) I developed a “3 memo rule”, just to keep from being
overwhelmed. The first time I saw any memo, it went straight into the trash.
The second time I saw it come around, I would glance at it… and usually throw that
one away, too.
If I ever got it a third time, I knew it was important. But most memos died long before
a third circuit. And I got a ton more work done than anyone else.
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Oh, and the occasional “important meeting” I missed? Nothing ever happened that I
couldn’t be briefed on in five minutes by someone who did attend. Meetings are almost
always an excuse not to get the real work done.
Let me say this again:
Money Will Solve Problems
That Not Having Money Creates!
You’re the guy who knows how to bring in the bucks. That’s your job. Nothing
else matters. There are many business owners who go under every year because of
insufficient profits… but, hey, their copier sure ran well.
Don’t be that business.
Final thought: Can’t get through the week without a staff meeting? Fine. Do in
a cold room with no chairs. Everybody stands. You’ll be astonished how quickly you
can get through an agenda when you’re slightly uncomfortable.
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Notes
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Notes
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Section XVI
“An Idiot’s Guide To
Consumer Psychology.”
A quickie Master’s Level course on
what makes your customer tick.
T
here’s been a lot of “merger mania” among U.S. companies lately.
Everybody’s playing a macho game of chicken, trying to be the Mr. Universe of the
business world.
But what does the pampered CEO of a cookie company know about selling long
distance service? Being the Big Dog at one type of company is zero guarantee you’ll find
similar success in a new area. The business pages are crammed with “what went wrong”
stories about bad merger fits. (My favorite is the Japanese company Sony trying to run a
Hollywood studio. These poor guys were walking around stunned at the massive losses
they accrued in just two years of filming bombs. Apparently being an electronics Shogun
in Tinsel town isn’t as magical as they thought it would be.)
Ah… but what does the salesman who understands the basic psychology of
human beings know about selling a new product outside of his expertise?
Everything!
The product is actually just an afterthought. A great salesman can sell cake mix,
new cars, computers or lingerie with the same skills. Financial advice, furniture, love
advice, literature… to sell any or all of these things still involves meeting the selfish
needs of your customers.
And knowing what makes them tick.
These are the secrets of success, my friend. Here is my short course on the
consumer mind, in no particular order:
Most people will not pay a nickel to prevent illness or disaster… but they will
empty their bank accounts to fix something once it gets broken. No one goes on a
diet to avoid getting fat. They suffer diets because they got fat.
Avoid asking questions or painting pictures that get a “no” response from
your prospect. You want to get him nodding in agreement with you. So always
phrase your statements in a positive way. Not: “If you don’t do this, you’ll get
hurt”, but “Do it this way, and you’ll reap grand rewards.”
The fastest – and easiest – way to bond with someone is to find common
ground. Give just a glimpse that you share his passions, and he will welcome
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you as a blood brother. Therefore, don’t lecture or nag. Show, by example and
“this happened to me” stories. Let him come to the conclusion that you’re right –
never try to tell him you’re right.
No one in the history of the world has ever won an argument with another
human being. You may shut him up, but you’ll never change his mind by
arguing. The only way that will happen… is to present the facts in a fascinating,
logical and passive manner, and let him “sit” on them for a while. Talk as if, of
course, he must be interested in this information. That’s just taken for granted.
No in-your-face bullying. You’re just offering an interesting story. He will come
around on his own. And he won’t have to admit you were right, because you
weren’t arguing – he’ll just suddenly “be in your camp”, having lost nothing in
pride, and gained the advantages of your logic.
We all want what we don’t or can’t have. And we all are somewhat dissatisfied
with what we do have. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
That’s why people trade perfectly good cars, houses and spouses in for the latest
model.
We also want what someone is trying to take away from us… even if we didn’t
really appreciate it before. That’s why the “take away” works in ads. A simple
paragraph stating “This may not be for you. Not everyone can handle it…” will often
spur the prospect to prove he can handle it. (See the way Tom Sawyer talks other kids
into white-washing the fence for him, by insisting they couldn’t handle the fun involved.)
We all want to feel special. Damn it, we ARE special… it’s just that everyone
else is too stubborn to realize it. So give your customer a reason to crow. Help
him imagine the sputtering jealousy of his neighbors and friends when they
discover he’s gotten a better deal… a rare product… an “insider’s advantage.”
No one gets the respect they feel entitled to. No one listens to them, no one cares
about what they think.
That’s why you DO care, and listen, and offer respect. You can see what others
refuse to observe. You’re his best new buddy. Help your prospect feel the new respect
he will have when he buys your product or service. Having your product means he now
has better information… finer equipment… knows influential people… has the secret
skills to do the right thing at the right time. This works for bowlers, yacht owners,
singles on the dating scene, housewives and horse race junkies. Right across the board.
Most people don’t get to do interesting things… or meet interesting people…
or have any fun or adventure in their lives. Offer them a front row seat in a better
life, and they will flock to you.
Most folks have never won anything, either. Give your customers the
opportunity to feel lucky and special.
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The decision to buy is emotional. The reasons for buying must be logical,
however. Listen to the hawkers on the cable shopping networks justifying
another piece of jewelry for their customers: “Yes, this will look perfect for that
upcoming New Year’s party or Christmas dinner with the boss.”
We don’t buy jewelry because it is pretty. We buy it because, in our minds, it will
make us look pretty. I started smoking at 18 because I wanted to look like Humphrey
Bogart. (I quit ten years later because I wanted to be able to walk two blocks without
wheezing, but that’s another story.) I looked like a kid gagging on a Kool, of course. But
in my mind’s eye, I was a tough guy in a trench coat and fedora.
Wonder no longer why runway models are slender as twigs, while the women in the
audience buying the dresses are full-figured. In their minds, this outfit will give them the
look of a runway model. Hope springs eternal. Maybe some of that glamour and mystery
will rub off.
The product is almost never what we are buying. We are buying the aura, the myth,
the promises and dreams that hover over it. My clients who sell instructional videos have
estimated that as many as 50% of their customers never break the seal on the videos they
buy. It’s enough to know the answer to their desires is there on the shelf, waiting
patiently for them. Life goes on, and the dreams gather dust once again.
Give him a reason to buy, so he can indulge his emotions with complete justification.
Mr. Middle-Aged Crisis talks endlessly about the fine engineering of the shiny red
Corvette he just bought… but his real thrill comes while getting appraising looks from
the young women he zooms by.
The human mind always rounds off to the lowest number. $19.99 is not
twenty dollars. She may not feel comfortable spending twenty bucks. But under
twenty, well, that’s fine. If you must include shipping and handling costs, do it
after she’s made the decision to buy. Once you’ve gotten her past her “price
resistance”, another couple of necessary bucks will not spoil the deal.
I often get trashed for saying this, but it’s the truth: People are sheep. We all
are, so don’t feel smug. But people often need the approval of others before
making a decision. Even a stranger’s opinion carries massive weight. I
remember sitting at a café on vacation, realizing that we went there solely on the
recommendation of a total stranger who overheard us discussing dinner plans on
the hotel elevator. His rave review convinced us. As far as I know, he was the
owner, haunting hotels incognito and steering tourists his way.
Blockbuster movies aren’t blockbusters because they’re good. They’re
blockbusters because a lot of people go to see them. Most of them absolutely suck.
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I also remember being in a casino restaurant area during Thanksgiving. Every
restaurant was serving turkey. The line for the $12 buffet was eighty people deep. The
wait for the $15 low-end steakhouse next door was twenty minutes. But we got seated
right away in the nice Italian restaurant ten steps away. How much more did we pay?
Another three dollars. Yet the majority of people would rather wait an hour for the
(slightly) cheaper buffet. After all, that’s where the line was.
People can be insanely literal. Are you old enough to remember when
deodorant commercials never mentioned underarms? The models always used
their forearms to show how smoothly the roll-on glided. How many people do
you think walked around with iffy armpits but nice-smelling forearms after seeing
those commercials?
It is a myth that your customers are “different”. Everyone is the same
seething mass of base emotions: Greed, fear, love of a bargain, need of respect,
desire to be popular and interesting and rich and good-looking (especially thin,
with a good head of hair). That said… it is interesting to note that it can be easier
to get someone to part with $200 than $20. The big decisions just seem to elude
rationality – you want that honking Harley, you want to drive it off the showroom
floor right friggin’ now, and damn the cost. Then you drive 30 miles out of your
way to save four cents a gallon on gas.
People love inspirational stories: “I was down, I found a secret, now I’m rich.”
It’s very frustrating to live in America, the Golden Land Of Opportunity… and
not be filthy rich. The rest of the world looks at what we have and drools. We
look at what we don’t have yet, and get depressed. No matter how content
anyone says they are, there’s a little hidden dream tucked away deep inside. To
be a rock star… governor of the state… keeper of a harem… Hollywood’s next
big discovery… the novelist everyone wants to read. We all harbor secret
fantasies of elaborate lives.
Never underestimate the pulling power of saying “I have something here in my
office with your name on it…” Anonymity sucks. Recognize him as an
individual you respect, and you’ll be pals for life. (Of course, fame sucks, too…
but we all want the opportunity to experience the pain personally.)
Emotions can be complex little buggers. A shrink once sat me down and
patiently explained that women have something like 137 specific, identifiable
emotions. To a woman, feeling loved is much different than feeling adored or
cherished. And she will be sad in 19 different, very specific ways. Blue is
different than wistful. Men, on the other hand, only have about 9 identifiable
emotional states that seem different to them. (And no, hungry and horny are not
emotions.)
Why is this important to know? Because women control 90% of the buying decisions
in the culture – for houses, cars, clothes, you name it. Guy-controlled markets tend to be
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very rabid – golfers, bowlers, hobbyists, and so on. But he only gets to use totally
expendable income on that stuff. She’s tying up the rest.
Are you smart? You may have what I call “IQ-itis”. Let me explain: When I
ask fellow Baby Boomers what percentage of our generation they think went to
college, the ones who have some college under their belt will invariably say “fifty
percent”. That’s because most of the people they hang out with also have some
college under their belts. But the actual figure is… 15%. That’s not graduating
with a degree. That’s attending even a few classes at the college level.
This becomes a problem when you don’t realize how insulated from the real
world you actually are. Many businesses try to talk “fancy” in their promotions,
assuming everyone has the same large vocabulary and same world experience and values
they do. And they lose a good part of their target audience.
If you’re serious about making a lot of money, you need a wider group of friends.
Get into a bowling league. Go have a drink with your plumber. Sit down and actually
talk with someone outside your “group”, or under your section of the “brain bell curve”.
A really bad case of IQ-itis will murder your advertising. You’ll come across as
inscrutable (go ahead, look it up), elitist, or just a garden variety jerk.
And that dog won’t hunt.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XVI-5
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XVI-6
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XVI-7
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XVI-8
Section XVII
“When You’re Selling Yourself.”
Meat market, job market, farmers market… it’s all the same.
I mentioned at the very beginning that the secrets of world-class salesmanship
will bring even love and happiness into your life. I’m sure many readers just assumed the
money earned from fabulously-successful ads would take care of that.
Nope. Money can’t buy you love, I’m afraid. And of the millionaires I know,
roughly three-quarters are absolutely miserable and unhappy.
So how can salesmanship help you? First of all, if you’re unhappy, go back to the part
of Section XIII called “become an expert”. You can literally become one of the most
knowledgeable people in the world on ANY subject… in a weekend.
This is not because things are easy to understand. It is because most people never
attempt to understand anything…
In Depth.
So… if you’re unhappy because you’re broke, get thee to the library, bookstore
and related Web sites… and get hip to making money. Re-read this book. Read the other
ones I’ve suggested, and use them as launching pads to find even more books with
similar value. Become an expert on the secrets of making money.
It’s not rocket science. It’s just a matter of learning what to do.
And guess what? It’s the same if you’re unhappy because you think you’re ugly.
Women don’t like you. Bosses discriminate against you. People snicker behind your
back.
This is ignorance talking. And the way to end this ignorance is to…
Become An Expert
On Self-Respect.
How do you do that? Bookstore, library, the Web. Start reading up, Bucko.
What you will quickly discover is that everyone feels ugly. Julia Roberts thinks she looks
like a cow. Robert Redford is so short, he almost never got his first movie role. Brad Pitt
has acne scars.
You’ll learn that looks reflect your inner self. If you respect yourself, you’ll look
attractive. You’ll stop sabotaging yourself.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XVII-1
Hey – bald guys ignore women who say they like the Yul Brenner look. They
remember only the remarks of some witch years ago who insisted she could only love a
man with long locks.
Name your poison. Too short? Too fat? Too tall? Too skinny? Big nose?
Small breasts? Bad eyes? A missing limb?
Congratulations. You’re human. And the Catch-22 clause in our wiring is that
we are ALL doomed to suffer maladies, scars, and unfortunate physiological
eccentricities… but we cannot see past our own embarrassment to realize…
No One Cares!
Two of the richest and most respected real estate gurus in the world…are twin
midgets. Look around at who your college buddies married. No one gets out of their 30s
looking drop-dead gorgeous. Danny DeVito is not only an admired actor at 4 foot 11, but
he’s married to a very talented and sought-after actress. Who is taller than him by a foot.
Both Bruce Willis and Sean Connery are bald as babies.
I could go on and on with the pep talk… but that’s what your own research will
do for you. Bring you back to earth. God has NOT got it out for you, dude.
Everybody’s got a cross to bear. Gazillionaires sleep alone and lonely every
night. Handsome and pretty people cry in their beer over ruined lives. Great singers
languish in the chorus, while the tin-ear gets star treatment.
And once you know all this… once you’re no longer a stranger to human behavior
and have the tools to gain confidence and social skills… your whole life will begin to
change. You’ll also get healthier, both inside and out. And that will make you more
attractive.
Hey – you want a new job? Use your salesman’s skills to land one. I sent a
resume once (back when I still worked for the Man) with several lottery tickets attached...
and a letter titillating them with the potential wealth those tickets held. I wasn’t even the
best person for the job, but I got it. They remembered me. My cover letter slayed them.
You want a big house on the beach? Set your sights, and go get it. Create a
simple business and create the advertising that brings in the money. Find the house you
really want, or have it built. Dig deep into your dreams for your goals… but dig deep
into research and business to make them come true.
It Really Is
That Simple.
You want love? Then why in the world are you wandering around expecting it to
come up and announce itself? Put your new writing skills to work… and create a…
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XVII-2
Killer Personal Ad.
Think about the kind of woman you want. Funny, pretty, independent, no kids,
non smoker, educated but not a geek… make a list of what you desire.
Then get real. What are the chances of finding such a person haphazardly? Zero.
She may not even live in your town. You may run into someone who is funny and sweet
at the local coffee shop… but she has four teenage delinquents at home, and is addicted
to malt liquor. You can’t see the total person by just walking around and searching.
You need to advertise.
Write up who you are, and who you’re after. Be honest, but use your ability to
spin faults – if you’re short and bald, maybe you’re a “hairless Robert Redford”. If
you’re sensitive about not being rich yet, say you’re an entrepreneur. (It’s true, isn’t it?)
If you’re overweight, start slimming down… but in the meantime, describe
yourself as having a “manly bulk”. Start working out if you’re out of shape and you feel
this hurts your confidence. If you have herpes, be honest about it. Don’t give the faults
that haunt you power by trying to hide them. Examine yourself, come to grips with the
complex human being you are, learn to like and respect yourself… and then run that
puppy up the flag pole of the singles world and see who salutes.
Dating is all smoke and mirrors, anyway. If it’s going to take seeing forty-seven
people to find the one right for you, then it’s best to get busy and plow through those notright forty-six as soon as possible.
Write a big ad, a full page, using all your new salesmanship skills. Don’t be
afraid to employ a little sensationalism to turn heads. This is your life. This is something
you really want.
Present yourself as the sweet, lovable, funny guy you are. List the benefits of
landing a prize like you. Be honest. People are looking for real human beings. In fact,
women actually adore men who are complicated and multi-dimensional, or a bit of a
challenge. Don’t sell yourself short.
And then let it be known that you are after a certain kind of woman. Be specific.
Ask for what you want, Bucko.
You will get responses. People do read the personals.
And you will get a lot of inappropriate responses – people who don’t come close
to meeting your requirements, but want to give it a shot anyway. You will hear from a lot
of people who think they’re funny/pretty/sweet, and actually are not.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XVII-3
But… you will also stir up a lot of people who come very, very close to being
your dream lover. The point is, you will be…
Fishing From
A Crowded Pool!
And not hoping Fate steers you down the right street at the exact second Miss
Perfect loses a heel. That’s Hollywood, not real life.
Become an expert… and sell yourself honestly.
Keys to the universe, my friend.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XVII-4
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XVII-5
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XVII-6
Section XVIII
“The Mysterious Force Behind Every
Dollar Bill In The Universe.”
Spooky stuff, man.
W
hen I started out as a freelancer, I read a lot of “self help” books to stay
motivated. Three really stood out: “Think And Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill… “The
Lazy Man’s Way To Riches” by Joe Karbo… and one called “Money Love”, which
seems to have undeservedly gone out of print.
The one thing all three books had in common was a deep belief in the
metaphysical aspects of money. This is not religious nonsense. It’s more of an awe in
the face of repeating observations.
And damn spooky ones, too.
This is why I keep my karma sparkling clean.
This quasi-spiritual attitude about money centers around the old saying “what
goes around, comes around.” That’s a very Westernized and simplified version of karma.
“You’ll get what’s coming to you, good or bad.” In business, you reap what you sow.
What you put in motion.
And you know what? It’s true, in more ways than we can understand or explain.
I don’t believe there are little beings flying around keeping score on our sins and good
deeds… but somehow… some way… the universe keeps tabs on things.
That’s why I am never surprised when I hear a client I’ve just helped rake in a
bundle say “Where was all this money last year when I was desperate?” Because the
money that you put into motion by creating good business – and getting your head
straight about wealth -- also comes around again. And it brings a few new friends along,
too. This is how wealth multiplies.
And when wealth begins to multiply… and I see this over and over, year after
year… when the money finally does start pouring in…
You’ll Wonder
Why It Seemed So Hard To Make Before!
People typically have internal “limits” on the amount of money they can earn. I
remember when it seemed I would never make more than $20,000 in a year. When I hit
$24,000 – an average of two grand a month – I thought I’d entered the Big Time. The
next year I earned $36,000, and couldn’t imagine what I would do with it all.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XVIII-1
When I first cracked $100,000, I felt uncomfortable. Was I the kind of guy who
earned 100 g’s a year? That was more than many of my relatives had made in their
lifetime. It didn’t “fit” my tortured self-image.
And guess what?
The next year, I only earned $50,000 or so.
Well, that pissed me off. And I realized I really was the kind of guy who could
earn six figures without breaking a sweat, and like it. I haven’t looked back since. I am
comfortable around money now, and it seems to like my attitude.
You, too, have an unconscious “comfort level” in your head over money. Would
you be happy earning $1,000 an hour, starting tomorrow? How about $10,000 an hour?
Don’t be too sure it wouldn’t cause you some pain.
You know, of course, the first thing most people do after winning a big state
lottery is to…
Blow All The Money!
If your idea of being filthy, stinking rich is to have the car paid for and a few extra
thousand in the bank… well, suddenly having a million or more will just boggle your
mind. It’s a shock to who you believe you are and where you belong.
How does the unprepared novice handle sudden wealth? You will quickly learn
that – as a millionaire -- you cannot buy just anything you want. Modest homes in many
desirable places now often sell for a small fortune. Being a mere “millionaire” in a truly
fancy neighborhood will get you laughed at. You’re no longer sure where you fit.
Sudden wealth can make you squirm if you can’t “get your mind around it”. Old
friends are suspicious they’re “not good enough for you” anymore. Relatives want to
borrow huge amounts, and never pay it back. Your tax bill is suddenly larger than your
net worth was last week.
You don’t know if you should move, or quit your job, or start wearing smoking
jackets and buy a different Cadillac for every day of the week.
And unconsciously or consciously, you do what you have to do to get back into
your “comfort zone”. Even if it means losing all the money.
Well, here’s a tip to avoid that kind of agony. When you first start making big
money, keep quiet about it. Don’t brag, don’t show off, don’t become a Daddy Big
Bucks. Go slow, and enjoy each step in a manner that doesn’t jar your soul.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XVIII-2
Get used to having more money in your life by getting used to the idea you
earned it. And that it’s there to serve you… not the other way around.
I recently went to someone’s house, which they had commissioned a famous
architect to build. They’d come into more money than they literally knew what to do
with. The house was like a museum, without a trace of human comfort. These people
were lost in there, homeless in their own home. The interior decorator they’d hired made
the place look schlocky and foreign. No one could tell you why any particular painting
was hanging on a particular wall. It was just there.
Why did they move from their comfortable older house? Because they suddenly
had all this money. And they…
Allowed The Money
To Tell Them How To Live!
Don’t let that happen to you. A buck is just a buck. It’s what that buck can – not
must – do for you that gives it value.
Young copywriters come to me for advice all the time. I have an “open door”
policy with them (albeit through email)… and I’ll help steer in the right direction anyone
who asks. No one helped me when I started out, and the first couple of copywriters I
approached for advice told me the job was too difficult to explain, and I’d never be able
to do it.
That really pissed me off. And I vowed never to turn anyone away who needed a
little “start up” advice.
Here’s what I tell young copywriters about money: First, don’t take more than
you earn. In direct response, you can charge huge royalties on ads that work well (I
usually get 5% of gross)… but you earn every penny of commission you get. If the ad
brings in a fortune, then you’ve earned your slice. It feels good. It feels deserved. It
“fits”.
Two: Give something back to the world. Immediately. Give to charities, be a
generous tipper, pay good salaries to those who work for you. Keep a good part of your
money circulating, so it has the chance to come back multiplied.
Three: Spend a little money from each paycheck on yourself. Save some, give
some away, pay off bills – and try to live debt-free – but make sure you get a nice
personal reward, too. Show the money that it does not own you. That you are not afraid
of it.
This reward should be something you do not “need”. Rather, it should be something
almost frivolous. But something that will make you smile whenever you look at it. And
say “I earned the money to buy that silly little thing.”
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XVIII-3
That’s feeding the happy little corners of your own soul.
Four: As quickly as you can, set aside some “Screw You” money. This is
enough cash to support you for six months to a year… put someplace where you cannot
get to it easily. Don’t invest it in anything riskier than a bank CD. Don’t play around
with this money. This is not cash to burn, and it’s not savings… it’s money to back you
up. It’s your invisible partner, not to be used unless all other options have snapped shut.
Put this money out of your conscious mind. If you never touch it the rest of your life, it’s
done its job.
Just knowing you have this cash stashed away will change your life. You will
viscerally become a different person. This back-up cache means you do not ever have to
take shit from anyone. You are no longer a slave to the system.
And if you do not like the look of a client or job… you can walk away.
This ability to say “screw it, I’m outa here” gives you not just total freedom… but
a powerful sense of confidence people can smell on you. Because you don’t need his
measly fee. And he can shove it if he tries to manipulate you or force you to compromise
your principles.
Five: Don’t let money run your life. The most common ailment among
professionals is burn-out. You make a few bucks, you get on a treadmill where each
bigger paycheck becomes the minimum you now require for your hot new lifestyle… and
suddenly all you’re doing is working.
This is common. It really is a treadmill. And your brain turns into slush, and
your personal life goes into the dumpster. I will never forget sitting with a client at a
little café in Miami Beach. He owned 26 auto supply stores… was a hundred pounds
overweight… had a wife who despised him and kids he never saw… and while a tropical
breeze ruffled the palms, and pretty girls strolled by, and the waves crashed on the white
beach… all he could talk about was…
Opening His
27th Auto Supply Store!
Jeez. Get a life already. You do not want your tombstone to read “He was born,
he worked like a dog, and then he died.” Heck, even dogs don’t work like dogs. Work
for something, like a happier life… not for work’s sake.
My advice: Keep your lifestyle behind the curve of your income. Wait until you
can buy what you want with cash, so you don’t go into debt. (This includes your car.)
By all means, up your standard of living, and use your money to grease the skids of life.
But don’t fall into the trap of thinking you have to change, just because you now have
extra money.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XVIII-4
And start taking your retirement in chunks, now, while you’re young enough to
enjoy it. I take sabbaticals of three-to-six months almost every year, where I spend time
doing exactly as I please. Writing novels. Playing in bands in Virginia City biker bars.
Seeing the world. Smelling the damn roses.
And when each little mini-installment of my retirement is over, I’m rested and
rarin’ to get back in the race.
That’s Using Money…
Rather Than Being Used By It!
Also, build in three-day vacations every working month. But don’t fly off to
some distant beach and do nothing (or, worse, go on drinking jags). Make these little
vacations an adventure. Go somewhere you have to speak a foreign language. Get into a
seminar in something completely different than your field of expertise. Learn all about a
new city, and then go explore it. Be active. Get your blood flowing and your lust for life
cooking.
This will work a different part of your brain, and actually recharge the part you
normally use. It’s a myth that you can “relax” with just a few days of vacation a year,
taken all at once, doing nothing. The only way to truly relax is to get in a rhythm with
life where, frequently, you change gears for short periods in completely pleasant and
invigorating ways.
You know all those beer commercials with people lounging on the beach,
drinking, just staring off into space? That’s a nightmare to anyone who is living life to
the fullest. Stay engaged in life, and suck up the good stuff with mucho gusto.
Six: Lastly, it can be good for the soul to turn down an opportunity once in a
while…
Solely On
Painful Principle.
This is where the universe gets weird. A few years back, I was on hard times, and
I didn’t know if it was a long-term downturn or a temporary glitch in my fortune. I
arranged to do a job with a man I was introduced to, and we agreed on the fee
beforehand. He was to send me, I recall, $1,000 to start, and $1,000 upon completion of
the job. This was a fraction of my normal fee, which shows you how desperate I believed
things had gotten.
But when the first check arrived, it was for only $500. He’d written a sly note
about deciding that I would work better with more of the carrot at the other end. Ha ha
ha.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XVIII-5
I needed the money. I should have taken the $500 and swallowed my anger at
having the deal changed just because he thought he held all the cards.
But I didn’t. Instead, I sent the check back, uncashed… with a note telling him
never to contact me again, because I did not wish to do business with such a man as he.
This was not a “ploy” to get more money. It was a heartfelt matter of principle,
even in the face of dire economic stress. I made sure he understood there was no
negotiation. Bullies don’t get a second chance.
The next day, I received two jobs from a new client who appeared from nowhere.
Someone who had spent considerable time and expense tracking me down. This new
client immediately paid me $15,000 up front against commission for the work… and the
commission was outrageously generous. If I had accepted the first job – at a humiliating
fraction of my normal fee – I might not have been able to handle the new ones. By
shuttling the jerk out of my life, I made room for some truly good clients, who I am still
working with many years later.
Coincidence? Perhaps. The thing is… similar events have happened over and
over again. Far too often to ignore.
Stay on principle… keep your karma clean… give something back… and strive to
be worth what you earn.
You know, even if I didn’t get rewarded in so many mysterious ways, it’s still the
best path to take.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XVIII-6
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XVIII-7
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Section XVIII-8
Kick-Ass Copywriting Secrets® Update
Introduction
Howdy…
The Web has kicked a lot of things into high gear, marketing-wise. It’s really
gotten fun and exciting in the last year, as the average “receiving” computer out there
handled by prospects is now more powerful and more able to quickly navigate your
marketing site than anyone dared dreamed possible just a short time ago.
This is great news, if you’re wired into the “inside” of the online world. If you’re
wandering around in the off-line desert, however, you already know that sick feeling of
being “passed by”.
So let’s get you up to date.
First: I have not woven these three new sections into “Kick-Ass Copywriting
Secrets®” because -- big surprise -- they will likely be changing again in due time. The
Web is still in its infancy, and hasn’t even begun to mature yet. Changes are inevitable.
Using this separate update process allows me to get the tasty new stuff out quickly and
efficiently. It also highlights the added material, which is necessary -- this is VERY
important stuff.
These three updates concern the hottest and most cutting-edge aspects of working
the Web into your marketing and advertising life. As a marketer, you are now able to test
every wild idea you have, for peanuts. And get specific results, that you can then roll out,
or fold on. Fast, simple, easy… and cheap.
This alone is going to save many marketers asses.
Second: As a copywriter, you WILL be writing for the Web at some point (if not
primarily)… or risk becoming obsolete. And there are some very subtle but critical
differences you need to know about.
Last: The Web has made amazing new tools available for you… which will
allow you to “rip off” ads faster and more effectively than ever before. As long as you do
it ethically, it’s a genuine shortcut to getting any campaign off to a roaring start, using
proven tactics and blueprints.
Brilliant “insider” stuff here.
Eat it up, and prosper.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Introduction
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Introduction
Kick-Ass Copywriting Secrets® Update
Section One
“Writing For The Web”
Writing sales copy for the Web is different… but not in the way you think it is.
And it is critical for your success that you understand what the real differences
are.
For many years, my standard answer to people who insisted that you had to write
“differently” to sell on the Web was this: “No, it’s not.”
I fought with many clients, who had fallen into the “it’s different” trap and
demanded that all my copy be severely edited, chopped up, and surrounded by graphics
and other “technological detritus” that their online designers wanted.
Sometimes, it took months for me to force them to post my copy as I intended it
to be posted. Once that happened, the arguments over “theory” ended… because we had
results.
And I won.
Here is the “trap” so many people have fallen into regarding Web copy. It is a
mistake to believe that:
1. People online are surfing like speed freaks with ADD, and won’t read long copy.
2. You need lots of flashy graphics, color and interactive fun stuff to hold their
attention, and they will leave the page as soon as you stop entertaining them.
3. Use all the technology your geek can muster -- because people online love to
follow links, cue up audio and video files, and install new software.
This “trap” has caused enormous problems for anyone trying to sell something
online. People using “different” pitching tactics often report vast numbers of “hits”
(which insiders call “how idiots track success”)… but they aren’t actually making many
sales.
Their consultants -- almost always self-anointed “experts” in cutting-edge Web
technology who are rarely savvy in direct response marketing -- find all kinds of things
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section I-1
to blame for this “lots of hits but no sales” problem. The price has to be “different”
online. The links and graphics need updating. More whiz! More bang!
And my favorite excuse from the experts: The target market needs to get off their
butts and buy better computers, so they aren’t sitting there for twenty minutes waiting for
all the cool stuff on your site to download.
I love that last excuse. It’s the prospect’s fault the site isn’t converting hits into
customers.
Yeah, right.
Now, before I detail for you what is wrong with this “trap”… I want to emphasize
that a few things have changed about marketing online, and changed only recently. So I
have important modifications to my former “it isn’t different” rant (modifications that
geeks are going to love).
Still, let’s get the basic bullshit out of the way. Here are my answers, in order, to
the three “differences in Web marketing” above:
Answer to Trap #1: People WILL read long copy. In every medium you care to run
your marketing -- television, publications, direct mail, and yes, even the wonderful
Web.
It’s all about the salesmanship.
I’ve now been a top freelancer long enough to see several new technologies come
and go. For example:
Email blasting -- once a cheap and effective way to hit huge cold email lists, now
outlawed by the feds and banned by most servers.
Fax blasting -- once a great way to use large lists of cold fax phone lines as a
direct pipeline, now increasingly outlawed (even when you do it “right”, it can
cause you legal headaches).
900 phone lines -- the great breakthrough provided by Ma Bell a few years back,
allowing marketers to directly bill consumers for phone time through the phone
company. At first, it seemed like the sky was the limit for ways to use these 900
and 976 lines… but it soon degenerated in to sex chat and psychic hotlines.
I even wrote one of the first infomercials to air on cable, back in the heady 1980s
when the modern infomercial was just being invented. (We actually called them
“advertorials” and a few other things first.)
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section I-2
Those first infomercials were a gas. And almost NO ONE was taking advantage
of the opportunity yet. It was wide open… much like the Internet has been in this recent
growth stage.
The “rise and fall” storyline of infomercials is worth understanding. Because
it’s a classic situation, which has been echoed in other technologies. And will help you
understand why people resist believing the Web is just another vehicle for delivering your
sales message.
Plus, as the “Big Boys” (large corporations) increasingly turn their attention to the
Web, this cautionary tale seems more and more relevant to what changes may occur very
soon online. Forewarned is forearmed.
What happened, briefly, was this: Back in the early 1980s, cable television
channels assumed that most of their audience was asleep late at night. And they had
ridiculously small budgets, which prevented them from creating shows to fill the “dead”
air.
But they needed something to run in those hours -- otherwise, they would just be a
blank screen, and that was bad. (It even violated their charter with the FCC, in many
cases. They HAD to run something.)
So, when a few savvy entrepreneurs told these cable companies that they’d
produce hours of programming, touting their own products… and do it for FREE… many
channels jumped at the chance.
It’s astonishing to consider now, but back then you could get a four-hour time slot
on a cable channel between one a.m. and dawn… for NOTHING. They’d GIVE you the
time. Because they thought no one was watching.
So our clients would rent scrap time at a local production studio, hire one camera
operator (and no one for sound or make-up or anything else)… use any old set that was
already there… and simply film themselves interviewing people who had products to sell.
This was all done on a shoestring. We started filming at minute one, and ended at
minute sixty -- with no script. The film was slammed into the can with no finishing
touches, no editing, and no graphics (except for the order page).
And the entire show was put on the air that night. If it worked, it was run again.
If it didn’t work, it was tossed in the trash… and the next infomercial that had been shot
that afternoon was run for the next hour. (Often, two, three or even four infomercials
would be filmed in a single stretch. You can imagine what kind of slam-and-jam
efficiency that required. And how sloppy most of those early shows looked.)
We never guessed whether any of these infomercials worked or not. We
KNEW… because there was always a classic call to action -- the very thing that identifies
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section I-3
an infomercial as different than all other ads.. And if the phones rang, and orders were
taken, it was a success.
No orders, no success. Toss it.
That’s street level direct response, in a nutshell.
Anyway… my point here is two fold:
Almost no one understood how incredibly profitable commercials could be in the
wee hours… and…
No one believed that long-copy infomercials could work at ANY time.
So, the traditional ad agencies never got interested. And even businesses who
otherwise had some direct response wisdom -- and who know that, in direct mail and
print advertising, long copy worked best -- just could not get their minds around the idea
of hour-long commercials.
Especially hour-long commercials consisting solely of two people talking about a
product, and urging people to call and order. Which was, of course, the equivalent of
super-long copy.
No slogans, no short-cuts in the pitch -- each part of the sales-generating process
was pounded on, and done right. Credibility, testimonials, feature-benefit analysis, takeaways, and urgency.
These early infomercials were long-copy ads, on film.
And they established the rules of the game as they are today on television,
because they worked.
This slam-and-jam game didn’t last long, however. Eventually, the cable
channels noticed that marketers were making a killing with late night pitches… and
stopped giving away that time for free.
And then, after they began to charge high rates for those hours, a small number of
media companies bought up ALL the available time -- well into the future -- and those
media companies now control what will and what won’t air.
What’s more, everyone started demanding higher production quality. So it was
goodbye to the slap-dash wonders of the first year or so. What you see now, late at night,
is more like a “real” commercial. Good lighting, make-up, scripts, professional camera
and sound operators (union, too, in many cases), spot-on editing and cutting-edge
graphics.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section I-4
Expensive stuff. You can’t even TEST an infomercial now for less than a couple
of hundred grand. And that’s what you’ll spend just to find out if you have a good one or
not.
The small guy has been forced out.
Ah, well. End of an era. I enjoyed the Wild West atmosphere of the early days. I
don’t care to get involved with this new, super-slick and super-expensive nonsense.
Here’s the kicker: Even after “respectable” agencies took over the reins for the
late night infomercials… they STILL resisted the idea of using long copy in the scripts.
At first, anyway.
That resistance melted when the RESULTS were tabulated from tests between
long-copy infomercials and sparser, more clever, Madison Avenue-style attempts. And
that’s why almost every single successful infomercial you’ll see today… uses a script
dense with hard-core sales pitch copy.
The clever stuff tanked. It may have been entertaining, but it couldn’t SELL
anything.
That’s my best example for “new technology” and long-copy. I have similar
stories about blast-faxing, outbound and inbound telemarketing scripts, radio ads, and a
few other media.
In every single case… whenever some new “thing” became available for
marketers… a chorus went up: “Long copy won’t work for this new media!”
And, in every case… it just wasn’t so.
Online, it may be true that many of your hits are the result of frenzied Websurfing. And surfers are like addicts with ADD -- they like flashing lights and lots of
startling bells and whistles.
Doesn’t matter. Online, you’re not there to entertain stimulus-starved surfers.
You’re there to SELL something.
And your ad is your salesman.
Your pitch has to cover all the obstacles and objections to making a sale. Never
forget that getting a human being to reach into his pocket and give you money for
something… is the hardest interaction you will ever engage in.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section I-5
Seriously. It can be easier to get someone to go to bed with you (before they even
know your last name)… than to get them to give you fifty bucks.
Humans are weird about money.
Long copy doesn’t work just because it’s long, of course.
No. Long copy works because an ad REQUIRES long copy to fit in all the
necessary elements of a killer sales pitch. You need to get attention, establish
credibility, ignite desire, overcome objections, give solid reasons why the prospect needs
what you have and why they should but it right now… and so on.
A great sales pitch, whether spoken, recorded on video, or written, is going to be
on the long side. You’re helping someone make up their mind, to the point they will give
you money.
So, yes, long copy works online. In fact, it’s required. The most recent sales
letters from the respected “Web guru’s” I’ve seen are sometimes 40 pages long. And I
just saw a piece advertising a seminar that ran over 90 pages -- it brought in almost a
million dollars.
As my friend (and Hall of Fame copywriter) Gary Bencivenga says: You should
never bet against good long copy.
The same rules apply, however, just as they do to every other selling situation -you cannot bore the reader. Bad copywriters do that, with short and long copy.
A killer sales pitch grabs the reader deep in his passionate sweet spot, and doesn’t
let go. It takes your prospect on the ride of his life, delivering him breathless and hungry
at the doorstep of your ordering options.
And if he dares demure, your world-class pitch will STAY with him. I’ve heard
from many buyers who woke up in the middle of the night, dreaming about my pitch…
and felt forced to get up and complete the order form before they could get any rest.
When you do it right, you install an itch that will not be scratched until your
reader gives in and decides to order.
Answer to Trap #2: Getting -- and holding -- the interest of your reader, online, is
no different than in any other media.
Flashy graphics alone will do absolutely nothing to get you a sale. Think back to
your last session online -- if you went to any mainstream sites that use advertising, you
will have seen spiders crawl across the page, shadows gyrate and dance to music, faces
speak to you from frames, and dozens of other strange things.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section I-6
All moving, singing, cajoling, begging, forcing you to pay attention to them (even
if they have to cover up everything you’re trying to read to do it).
And none of that fancy shit got you to click on the link, did it.
That’s because a real hook involves the reader on a deep level. Eye candy
can’t do that -- it’s just more and more sophisticated technological screaming.
Getting attention is NOT about kicking down the door and assaulting your
prospect.
It’s about grabbing his attention with something that INTERESTS him.
And the best way to do that, still… is with a well-written headline. With a hook.
Answer to Trap #3: In most cases, providing a link to your reader that takes him off
your sales page… is the equivalent of ASKING him to set your pitch aside, and go do
something else.
If you have a drop of real salesman’s blood in your veins, you already know that
the LAST thing you want is to jerk your reader away from your pitch.
It’s a delicate thing, getting someone to read sales copy. You’re crafting a story
that brings him into your world… where you have things that he wants. But first, you
must turn up the heat, so that he wants these things more and more and more.
Because he isn’t going to give you money until you force him into a position
where he must have what you offer… and must have it RIGHT NOW.
That requires urgency. That requires persuasion on a world-class level. And
that requires holding his attention while all the fragile elements of your pitch sink in.
Offering him a LINK, at any point in your pitch, is an invitation to kill that fragile
sales process.
My advice here is standard, and solid: If what you are linking to is so damned
important… then weave it into your pitch.
If it’s not important enough to BE in the pitch… it’s not important enough to
bother your reader with right now. And most certainly not in a link that takes him away
from the sales page.
You can let him see this other material later… AFTER you’ve completed the sale.
The ONLY thing you should ever link…
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section I-7
Is The
Order Form.
And that’s only because of the security issues required, plus whatever dedicated
applications are needed for the way you process each new order.
Okay?
Okay.
So that was my “standard” pitch up to a very short time ago. Post a basic
sales letter, exactly as you would in print or direct mail. All the same rules apply online
as offline. Avoid graphics altogether. And never use links of any kind.
Most of this still applies.
However, there has been a vast “shift” online recently. And this shift has
opened up some new opportunities online that I wouldn’t have recommended even a few
months ago.
Plus… there ARE a few instances online that are VERY different than any other
media you use. And they affect how you can use copy.
So, yes…
There Are Some Very Specific Things
That Are “Different” About
Writing For The Web.
Two things, as a matter of fact.
Difference Number One: There are space limitations on your copy in several
areas.
Most obvious is the subject line of an email. The actual number of allowed
characters varies a bit (in what will show in the recipient’s inbox), but it ain’t much.
There are also severe limitations now in what you can write IN an email to avoid
being tagged as spam… and kicked out either by the server or your prospect’s own
software.
Most critical of all: To take advantage of Google’s amazing Adwords tool, you
need to be able to get across complex messages inside of just a handful of words. And
it’s impossible to “game” that rule, or get around it.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section I-8
If you need help in making Google Adwords work for you, I recommend Perry
Marshall’s excellent course “Google Adwords Strategies”. (Check it out at
www.perrymarshall.com.)
Google and Google Adwords come up a lot in all my updates -- because they are
unparalleled as super-efficient marketing and testing tools.
If you aren’t hip to Adwords yet, just do this little exercise. Won’t cost you a
penny: Go to www.google.com, and type in “adwords”. Click on the “Welcome to
Adwords” link. Take the demo tour under the subhead “Learn More”.
That’s it, dude. You will get one of the most valuable shortcut-educations of your
life, and it won’t take much more than ten minutes.
What Adwords allows you to do online… is to sponsor your own little mini-ad on
the same page with “organic” links that a user calls up when he uses the Google search
engine.
That means, if a someone decides to surf Google for a way to add, say, more
strikes to his bowling game… and you sell a DVD lesson doing just that… then, when he
types “bowl more strikes” into Google and does his search… well, your little sponsored
link is gonna pop up there. Right next to the latest article from Bowling Digest.
It’s the most incredible way to cherry-pick your target market on a vast scale ever
made available to marketers. Ever.
Best of all: You don’t get charged for sponsoring your little mini-ad… unless
that surfer clicks on your link. And sees your sales message.
Can’t do that in a magazine, or on television, or in the mail. Imagine being
charged ONLY when someone reads your ad in a mag, or sits through your commercial
on the tube, or opens your letter when he gets his mail.
Even better… the cost of having your prospect click on the link to your site (and
see your sales message) can be just as low as a few measly cents. Because the cost of
every search engine word or phrase is up for bidding.
If you have no competition… you can grab that prospect (who has self-qualified
himself as being a target by his search) for loose change.
In a crowded market, you may have to pay more. But, right now, even the hottest
names in the hottest markets aren’t more than a few bucks. Still a fraction of what you
might pay for such a hot name with a direct mail list, or to pay for an ad to reach a
magazine’s subscriber base.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section I-9
And, it gets even better. You can put a ceiling on your daily budget for all your
searches, combined. You can ask to be among the sponsored links for a thousand terms
or words in any search you like… and yet you will only be charged per hit until your
budget ceiling is met.
At which point, you go “blank” for the rest of the day… only to reappear again
the next day, afresh. This avoids any unpleasant surprises for your budget. You’re in
total control.
The geniuses at Google have their act together. They (mostly) understand the
needs, and the anxieties of modern marketers.
The details of this astonishing marketing tool are too legion to cover here. Just go
to the site, and spend a few minutes checking it out if you’re still a virgin. Google will
even help you find more effective ways to find your target audience with suggestion tools
-- the equivalent of a high-priced online marketing consultant, free.
Plus, you can easily keep statistics that will make your little marketing heart weep
with bliss. You can find out exactly which terms and words work the best… which are
dogs… which contribute the most hits but not buyers and which direct the biggest
pocketbooks… how long readers stay on your page (the number one stat that translates to
sales)… oh, it just goes on and on.
So what’s the problem?
Google, in its wisdom, decided to put SEVERE limits on the number of words
you can put in your mini-ad. They’re marketing smart, but copy foolish.
I’m talking VERY limited restrictions, too.
For an example, here’s one of my current Adwords ads:
John Carlton’s main site
Famous copywriter critiques yr ads
& shows you how to make ‘em work
www.marketingrebel.com
There are three sections to the above ad:
1. The headline (John Carlton’s main site). Maximum 25 characters.
2. The description lines one and two (Famous copywriter critiques yr ads & shows
you how to make ‘em work). Each line can have only 35 characters, max. That’s
70 characters total, evenly split.
3. Finally, the display URL (www.marketingrebel.com). Also limited to just 35
characters. However, this “display” URL doesn’t have to be your “real” URL. It
can be a link to another site which can have up to 1,024 characters -- easy enough
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section I-10
to manage even if you’re James Mitchner. But this “destination” URL won’t
appear in your ad.
You wanna talk about serious limitations? My headline here is 24 characters
long (you have to count spaces)… one single, thin little space to spare. My two
description lines are 34 characters long each… 68 spaces used out of a strict limit of 70.
It just killed me to not be able to employ those three unused spaces, too.
For most people, it’s like pulling teeth to get them to condense their thoughts.
Many cannot do it to save their lives. Even after I spell it out to them, and forbid them
for writing more than three sentences… they give up after a few attempts, and just beg
me to “bear with them” while they ramble and try to gather their addled thoughts.
These people suck at writing Adwords ads, needless to say.
However, you cannot afford to NOT use this amazing marketing tool, just because
you have trouble condensing your marketing message enough to fit into one of these
mini-ads.
So here’s the way to think about it:
First, consider this little mini-ad as THREE separate attempts to get across a
TEASE or BENEFIT that will grab your reader.
This is basic “hook theory”. Every word you choose must be aimed at moving the
reader to the next step: Clicking on your link.
If he clicks, he sees your main sales message, in full bloom. You have zero
limits, once he’s on your page.
However, if you confuse, bore or miss his sweet spot with what you write here in
your Adword box… he’s gone. A lost sales opportunity.
So these three separate attempts to grab attention have got to ROCK.
Remember -- you are not selling here. You are only trying to tease, or push, or
lead your reader into clicking on your link.
So understanding Power Words and the persuasive nature of certain action verbs,
or certain specific terms that hit home with specific audiences, is critical.
Here, I used my name because there happens to be a little bit of traffic searching
out my name every day. This is a “slam dunk” decision -- this mini-ad shows up
whenever someone searches specifically for me, or for anyone or anything (like a recent
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section I-11
seminar) associated with me. My name carries a little “hook power” in marketing
circles, and so I use it as shorthand for “here’s how to find the real guy’s site”.
This is important, because a LOT of other marketers also buy sponsored links for
any search involving my name. They see the traffic, and try to bull their way in front of
the parade looking for me.
That’s fine. That’s aggressive marketing.
But I want those people searching for me to FIND me and my site. Not someone
else claiming to have my mojo. I get robbed every time someone looking for me gets
diverted to someone else’s site.
You may be in this same position, if you have a “name” in your market or
industry.
More likely, you’re gonna be one of a mob of people vying to be “the big gun” for
any specific search. So you’re going to need all the tools in your copywriter’s bag to
stand out.
There are even further restrictions, however. Google has HUMANS who review
each mini-ad, before it’s allowed to run as a sponsored link. (I find this amusing.) These
reviewers can reject your effort for any reason they choose.
They won’t let you use certain words, like “free”, most of the time. They aim for
a certain “sameness” in all the sponsored links -- a very plain, vanilla, non-threatening
sameness.
So, your duty here -- and in email subject lines -- is to use Power Words and
advanced “bullets” to get attention, tease, and ignite the reader’s interest.
Screw that “look the same as everyone else” crap. You want to send a shock
wave through your prospect’s head, and get noticed.
Study the Power Word report again. (If you didn’t already have it, you should
have received it with this package.) A power word (or term) is one that carries an extra
payload of emotional baggage or response with it.
Words like humiliate, threaten, force, disgust, embarrass, and sexy are easy to see
as good examples. Just as good, however, are words like spank, engorge, murder,
escape, and steal. And terms like filthy rich, drunk with power, wild with desire, and
flunk out.
What you must aim for is a near-perfect example of words that make the reader
jerk a bit… strung together in a coherent thought that teases and moves him along to the
next stage. Which is to hit your link.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section I-12
After that, he’s facing your full-on sales page.
Already teased and fluffed and primed.
Difference Number Two: The second difference about writing for the Web is
easier to explain.
In short… things done changed.
There’s actually a mathematical way to factor in this huge change in the way the
Web now works for marketers. I don’t have the exact formulation… but basically, each
time the technology gets more advanced, it also gets cheaper to produce.
And each time a computer gets cheaper to produce, more people get better
computers.
And guess what? Super-powerful computers are now plentiful, easy to find… and
cheap.
It’s suddenly so simple to get online, with a powerful computer and fast DSL or
Broadband to support it, that even former techno-phobes like elderly people are joining
up and getting hip.
They’re using Google the way they used to use the public library -- to research
everything they do, print out maps and airline tickets, find old school chums, even get a
second opinion on their doctor’s diagnosis.
Just in the last year, there has been a tidal wave of new people getting online.
With decent equipment. It’s changed EVERYTHING you thought you knew about
online business.
The marketing and business world is still reeling from this recent seismic shift in
the online world. Computers are so cheap, millions of people in China and India and
elsewhere in the Third World are now getting online… with honking powerful
computers.
This increases the available markets online dramatically. (And also means that if
you’re NOT online right now, you’re missing the biggest damn opportunity of your life.)
Plus, the processors have gotten so fast and efficient… and DSL and Broadband
(with higher transmission speeds) have penetrated so much of the country… that many of
the technological bells and whistles I USED to tell people to stay away from… are now
officially an opportunity to stand out.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section I-13
This is what cutting edge online marketers now understand: At some point in the
past year, enough people in most markets purchased computers powerful enough to
handle most of the simpler video and audio googaws available to you.
That means you finally really CAN start implementing some of the cool options
and concepts that involve multi-media on your site. You can have streaming video, plus
audio files, right IN the middle of your pitch.
And, while I still recommend you do not offer links that take your reader off your
page… you can now easily use pop-up windows to bring in extra information. They pop
up fast, deliver their job, and go away without blocking or obstructing the main sales
page.
Where the old-style links hauled your reader away to another world, these new
pop ups are just like “lift notes” in a classic direct mail package -- just another vehicle for
reaching the reader with important info, all contained in the same envelope.
I wouldn’t be telling you this if my colleagues in business aren’t reporting
dramatic increases in sales using this stuff. They, too, were skeptical, reluctant to get
into fancy graphics, and expected little… and were astonished at how effective video and
audio and pop ups can be, when used right.
The key, of course, is knowing how to use it all the right way.
This development is still playing out… but you would have to be living in a cave
not to realize that most well-funded sites are now routinely using these other tactics. And
using them a lot.
This means the Web is getting closer to becoming like an interactive TV.
Now, that does NOT mean that long copy will no longer work. The same
basic principles of killer salesmanship still apply.
However, now, instead of having to rely on printed words to convey “pleasing
pictures in your prospect’s mind”… you are increasingly able to put REAL images, with
moving video and audio, in front of him.
It’s only going to change things for sites that are already using powerful longcopy sales pitches. The fancy stuff won’t “save” a rotten pitch.
So your site will still mainly be copy, for a while yet. Maybe forever.
But stay alert to how top sites are changing. There is some possible danger, in
that less-savvy marketers will fall in love with video and audio to the point of forgetting
to include a world-class sales pitch.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section I-14
But, more so, there is opportunity. Because the best marketers are finally able to
expand their already-killer sales messages into other senses… so the prospect can see,
hear and read about the wonders of the product.
Things are getting good, fast.
Get yourself on as many good email lists as you can, and haunt the best sites. Go
ahead and lurk, and take notes, and print out pitches and fancy tech stuff you like.
Just stay focused on what’s important: Getting your sales message across to
your prospect.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section I-15
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section I-16
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section I-17
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section I-18
Kick-Ass Copywriting Secrets® Update
Section Two
“Speed-Ripping Proven Ads”
The emergence of the Web as a “working tool” of copywriters has uncovered
another tactic that was unavailable just a short time ago.
Namely -- the easy acquisition of a killer swipe file of proven ads.
When I started out as a freelance copywriter, many of the classic advertising
books now common were then out of print. Impossible to find.
I know one guy who paid $1,000 for a damaged copy of “The Robert Collier
Letter Book” -- now available through amazon.com for ten bucks. I know another writer
who flew to Washington, D.C., just to spend a week a the Library of Congress, reading
extinct marketing and advertising books. Now almost all available online.
What’s more, it was also nearly impossible to get your hands on samples of many
of the top writer’s pieces. You had to get on the mailing list of their main clients (which
necessitated finding out who those clients were, first), and do your best to identify that
particular writer’s work.
You relied on rumors, gossip, and luck.
Even after finding a client who used a writer you wanted to emulate, you had to
wait up to a year to see how often any one piece mailed, or ran in print.
If the piece ran over and over again, you could be reasonably sure it was a winner.
If it disappeared, it was probably a dog. But not always -- sometimes, the client stopped
producing the product, or just didn’t want to mail too often because of budget concerns or
(more evilly) because they didn’t want their competition to know they were sitting on a
home run.
It was a guessing game, and a detective novel, all in one.
Every so often, a colleague would call me and whisper that he’d gotten his hands
on either an older famous winning ad… or knew the results of another ad he had in his
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section II-1
possession. I would receive a hastily-photocopied copy in the mail some time later. If I
was good, and didn’t mind owning the other guy a huge favor.
So, our swipe files (our collections of winning ads and letters) were very hard
come by. And they were priceless. It was the first thing we’d save if the house was
burning, and the last thing we’d allow someone to “borrow”.
Why? Because, once you understand how to deconstruct ads, to find the hidden
“blueprint” in them… all you need is proof that any particular ad was a winner, and you
can rip off the magic for your own use.
There’s nothing new under the sun. Most of the top writers I know seldom use
their swipe files anymore… because we’ve long since memorized the best licks and
tactics and secrets. We go to our internal file, and knick a few items here and there, to
ensure the success of our current project.
And, of course, we’re all at the stage where we’re comfortable inventing new
ways to make pitches work. The fresh, new stuff… though this sounds odd… comes
from the old guys who take what works, and use it as a foundation for going off in new
directions.
Yet, we still revere the old stuff, and aren’t shy about using it when it’s the best
thing to do.
That’s also why we treasure the old classic marketing and advertising books, like
Claude Hopkin’s “Scientific Advertising” and John Caples’ “Tested Advertising
Methods”, both waaaaaay over fifty years old.
You see, the “pure” basics of great salesmanship hasn’t changed since the dawn
of time. Today’s “secrets” are just yesterday’s forgotten tricks.
The core of a great ad is easily identified -- and copied -- by a savvy writer.
So, how has the Web changed all this?
By making nearly EVERY SINGLE AD ever written in the last two centuries
available online.
And, in many cases, the results are available, too -- so you don’t have to guess at
which ones worked and which failed.
That means… where copywriters just a generation ago had to carefully ration
their ripping… today’s copywriters have a ready-made OCEAN of ideas, concepts and
proven ad copy available to them, instantly.
Now, I haven’t ripped anyone else’s ads in a long time. I enjoy “breaking the
code” fresh on new jobs, so I often come up with new ad “blueprints”. The Rodale sex
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section II-2
letter, the one-legged golfer ad, all of my own ads for my own products, are all pretty
much original stuff.
Of course, since I’ve made my ads available as swipe files, these hot ads of mine
been ripped off steadily.
I can easily claim title to “the Web’s most ripped-off copywriter”… because I
see the proof of it every day online.
Look, it’s okay with me. The highest form of flattery, etc.
And, since I can’t stop or even control it, I’ve decided to help you do it.
It’s easy, really, to “adopt” another ad for you own use. No matter what market
you’re in.
As a rookie writer, your swipe file can be a lifeline -- a way to shortcut the
process of putting together a coherent, killer sales pitch.
As a veteran writer, your swipe file will be like a close friend and consultant -something you can go to whenever you’re strapped for ideas, or even to hit up for
brainstorms before you start considering your first drafts.
Here’s the simple way to rip ads:
1. First, of course, you must get your own swipe file together. You’ll get access
to some of my top performing ads & letters when you join the Marketing
Rebel Insider’s Club®. (www.MarketingRebelClub.com/joinourclub/)
But don’t stop with just my ads.
There’s a ton of other writers’ stuff available online, for free. Even if you
can’t find the work that people like Gary Bencivenga, Dan Kennedy, Michel Fortin and
Gary Halbert have done for clients… you can find THEM easily enough. (Just Google
their names, if nothing else.)
And you can collect the sales letters and postings they write for their own
products. A writer really pours himself into these pitches, and it’s often their best work.
When you discover clients that use these top writers, stalk those sites, and collect
all ads that appear on them.
For example, two of my oldest clients are www.trsdirect.com (the notorious selfdefense site), and www.ohpdirect.com (the infamous golf site). Not all the sales copy
you see on these sites comes from my hand… but much of it does.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section II-3
It’s easy enough to develop your “eye” for spotting copy from top writers. The
“voice” we use, no matter how much we try to disguise it, is often so similar with every
piece we write, it becomes a fingerprint.
I also recommend you follow the “old school” method of collecting good stuff…
and get on the mailing lists of the top mailers. Rodale, Phillips Publishing, Agora,
Reader’s Digest, even various large political mailers. (Some of the best writing being
done today is for fund raising.)
Just remember that not everything you receive in the mail is a winner. However,
if you see any piece mailed several times over the course of six months or a year, you can
pretty much bet it’s a winner.
Last: Use the samples of really old ads in Caples “Tested Advertising Methods”
and Schwaab’s “How To Write A Good Advertisement” books. Some of these ads are
over a hundred years old, but the principles behind their success often haven’t changed
much.
I especially like to look over really old ads every so often, just to remember how
simple a great headline can be. “Do You Make These Mistakes In English?” is a classic
needle-the-reader’s-social-anxieties hook, for example. “Girls… Want Quick Curls?”
promises fast results, and targets the audience with no fuss. “Seven Steps To The Job
You Want” is straight to the point, too.
2. Learn how to “break down” the construction of these winning sales pitches.
If you’ve studied “Kick-Ass Copywriting Secrets®”, this part will be easy.
In fact, there’s a “blueprint” of a general path to writing an ad included in the
course.
But let’s go over this breakdown again. Doesn’t hurt to get another lesson in it.
First, look at the overall construction of the ad copy. It’s sometimes best to think
in terms of the simplest way killer pitches are created: By using…
Attention…
Interest…
Desire… and…
Action.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section II-4
This is the famous “AIDA” model, used by greats like John Caples and David
Ogilvy. There are other codes, developed by equally good copywriters, but they’re all
based on AIDA.
Here’s the simple way this model finds life in an ad: First, you get your
prospect’s attention. This is usually the headline, or the “grabber” if you’re using a dollar
bill or other “lumpy” item.
Then, immediately following this grabbing of attention, the copy begins to build
interest in the offer. This is often done in the first paragraph, or paragraphs.
Through this sudden and progressive building of interest, you work on igniting
the desire inside your reader -- desire for the product, desire for becoming involved in the
offer, desire to find out what all the fuss is about.
Finally -- and this is where so many rookie writers stumble -- you close the deal…
by asking for action. This is the way you end your letter.
All right -- that’s the simple way of looking at the breakdown.
Let’s go deeper.
Your headline will likely include a hook (explained in the course), or some part of
your USP (your “unique selling position”). Your job here is to grab the attention of your
target market. For example:
Hey, Bowlers!
“If This Skinny, Bowlegged Old Man With Crippling Arthritis Can Hold A 250
Average, Think What Learning His Simple Secret Can Do For YOUR Game!”
Then, your opening begins the actual pitch in earnest. A classic beginning -- and
one a LOT of professional writers rely on, over and over again -- is the “If/Then”
opening: “If you want to roll more strikes, and slaughter everyone you bowl against,
without having to work at it… then this letter is going to blow your mind.”
This is called the “set up”… because you’re setting your reader up for the ride of
his life. Get him nodding -- “Hell, yeah, I want to know these secrets!”
Next, you light a fire in his heart of hearts, by fanning his desire. “I have
something here for you that will blow you mind. Not one bowler in a thousand ever
comes across these simple, easy, (and FREE) secrets in their life… and I’m going to
show you how to OWN them, and USE them, in your very next game…”
This part of the copy needs some room to breed, and will be the largest part of
your letter. You have something the reader wants… but you’re not going to let up until
he doesn’t just want it… but MUST HAVE IT.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section II-5
And that’s when you deliver the final blow: You ask for ACTION.
“Here’s how to get this package rush-shipped to you…”
And that’s pretty much the guts of a great ad.
Now, as you go through your swipe file, keep all these “parts” of the classic killer
pitch in mind. You’ll begin to recognize where the writer begins, and reaches fever pitch,
for each part.
The hook in the headline is aimed at the sweet spot of the reader. What PART of
that hook is something you could modify to fit YOUR situation? Maybe you don’t have
anyone in your office who’s arthritic and bowlegged… but what OTHER characteristics
might you substitute, instead?
And, since you aren’t offering a bowling product, how does what you DO offer fit
into the hook?
In some cases, it will be a mis-match, and you won’t see any way to make it work.
You may not be able to modify a bowling ad to sell financial advice, for example.
So… go to the next sample in your swipe file.
3. When you find an example of great copy that has the voice, the approach,
and the level of hard-sell you desire… keep breaking the copy down into large
chunks that fit the AIDA model.
So you work separately with the headline… and then with the opening building of
interest… and then with desire… and, finally, with action.
Once you find a previously written ad that uses an approach to selling that fits
your needs… you’re off. And you’ll see why it doesn’t matter even a little bit what the
original product was in the original ad.
Because it’s all about the salesmanship.
Within each large chunk of the pitch, you’ll find how the writer worked urgency,
take aways, set ups, and pure “tease” into the storyline. How he used a short but intense
story to hold interest. How he built up tension. How he used blind bullets to build desire
to fever pitch, how he gave away certain information to add credibility and believability.
How -- and where -- he used sizzling testimonials to make his case, or support his
big promises.
And, how he created an offer that was just too damn good to pass up.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section II-6
When most people look at a great example of world-class copy… they see a blur
of words that incite emotion and memory and desire and action. But it’s a blur.
Now that you are beginning to understand the WAY copy is written, you should
be able to take any piece of copy and find the salesmanship tactics hidden within.
“Ah,” you’ll say… “He’s showing how other people have used this product to
become filthy rich here. And then he’s highlighting how fast, simple and easy it all is
with these bullets… but the bullets are blind, so my desire to find out what these secrets
really are is building. And, here in the close, he’s set up a situation where, if I don’t act
right now, I lose out. Yet, it’s so easy to order, and the guarantee is constructed so that I
risk absolutely nothing…”
Et cetera.
Staring down the blank page is often the largest hurdle you will ever face as a
marketer/writer.
Being able to rip out an already-written ad, which has been tested and proven in
the real world, can help you find an easy, fast and simple way to frame your own pitch.
And frame it inside a pitch that’s already worked.
Recommendation Number One: I suggest you find three basic pitch
constructions that you then get comfortable with. Use them each time you write a new
ad. Maybe one will use an outrageous hook. Another will use a grabber. And the last
will be a simple “How To…” style of just presenting the facts.
There will always be multiple ways to sell anything. One of the fastest shortcuts
is to simply CHOOSE one way to do it… and then create your pitch. You don’t always
need pure brilliance.
Often, just a damn good effort will do the trick.
Recommendation Number Two: Looking for really super-advanced guidance?
In the Marketing Rebel Insider's Club® online membership site, there's a special section
devoted to deconstructing proven ads and explaining the professional-level tactics behind
the headlines, body copy, pitch and everything else.
I've taken great care to "pull back the curtain" on the secrets that made these ads
successful... so you get a true insider's roadmap of how to create an effective ad, point by
point, directly from the author. Very easy to sample this "ad deconstruction" (plus all the
other goodies in the Insider's Club), and get some very cool freebie bonuses... just go here
and grab the deal now offered -- www.MarketingRebelClub.com.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section II-7
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section II-8
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section II-9
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section II-10
Kick-Ass Copywriting Secrets® Update
Section Three
“How to test online…
fast, cheap and easy”
There are three things, basically, you want to test for, and test often: (1) Hot
markets… (2) Hot products… and… (3) Hot copy.
I cover how to test for off-line markets in “Kick-Ass Copywriting Secrets”. It’s
pretty simple -- you consult with list sources, and especially the SRDS (Standard Rates
and Data Service, www.srds.com), to find both the number of lists available in any
market you want to plunder… and how large and excitable those lists are.
What you want, when you’re looking around for new markets, is to find one
populated with people who really, really, really want what other marketers have offered
that is similar to what you offer.
And who are willing and eager to PAY for it.
There are several clichés we use: Find a starving crowd. Find a parade, and stand
in front of it. Find a mob in need, with bulging wallets.
When you’re dealing with lists, you’re looking for people who have raised their
hands, said “Yeah, I want this stuff”, and paid for it. The hottest lists will be ones full of
people who have already bought exactly what you’re considering offering, and done so
very recently… and who paid a high amount for it… several times. (This is called the
“Recency, Frequency, Monetary” model of identifying hot lists.)
When you’re looking for markets off-line, direct mail lists are the way to go.
When you’re looking for products to test, you can also use this same model, with
a twist. Get ON the top lists, and pay attention to how you get sold… and WHAT you
get sold on.
Finally, don’t make the mistake so many rookie marketers make, and forget to
keep testing your SALES COPY. Top marketers are always trying to beat their best
letters and ads.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section III-1
That means testing headlines, guarantees, offers, USP, even the price and the way
your product is presented to prospects.
In most markets, it’s worth it to test continually. Because even if you only bump
response a fraction of a percentage point, as long as you’re profitable, that bump is going
to directly increase your profit.
And that’s a good thing.
However, testing off-line can be slow and maddening. You have to take total
control of all aspects of the mailings… and you can get screwed by a crooked list broker
(who compiles lists illegally and gives you large lists with essentially worthless names)…
or screw yourself by not keeping a tight lid on variables (like mailing during a holiday, or
during a change in the weather, or to a different list with different parameters, so your
results are hopelessly skewed.).
Essentially simple, but complex in the details. And you can never be 100% sure
of your results. So you have to repeat tests often, to be sure.
Lots of us DON’T test off-line much, because of this hassle. We rely on our gut
instinct… because our instinct has been right before, and often enough to sort of trust.
Speaking for myself… I’m just too lazy to do much testing off-line. I pour my
best shot into whatever I mail, and seldom second-guess myself or change anything
dramatic for further mailings.
And that’s worked pretty well for me, off-line. Not a guaranteed model, but if
you have the direct mail instinct (honed from years of experience) it can work for you.
Testing other off-line media -- like radio, television, magazines and newspapers -is a whole other game. If you’ve got specific, targeted access to niches on these media
(“Knitting Today” on the Knitting Channel, for example, or “Martha Stewart’s Knitting
Magazine”, or “The Knitting Expert’s Radio Hour”), then you can be fairly sure of a
good test to that media.
However, if you are forced to find your prospects among the sea of the “broad
population”, and use newspapers like USA Today, or magazines like Time and
Newsweek, then you know you’re in for a lot of readers who aren’t interested in what
you offer, no matter what. You’re paying for huge “waste circulation” (names that have
no interest in your product or service), whether you want to or not.
Because, off-line, if you want to reach a target market that reads USA Today, you
gotta pay their rates for reaching everybody.
All of this is why…
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section III-2
Online Testing
Is So Much Fun.
Everything about testing is different on the Web.
Everything.
As I discussed earlier, you can find the EXACT “parade” or “starving crowd”
you’re after just by using Google. Or any of the other search engines like Yahoo or
Overture (competition is making them all better and better at the same game, which is
just more and more good news for marketers).
And, you can test a completely different ad, with different headline, price, offer,
etc… with EACH NEW VISITOR.
For PEANUTS.
Still, I get so many people coming to me making the same profit-killing mistakes,
I feel it’s necessary to go over exactly how to test on the Web.
1. Don’t do your testing “backwards”. The biggest mistake I see with people
who come to me for advice on launching new products… is that they go
about the whole thing ass backwards.
I discuss how to create an information product in a short weekend in “Kick-Ass
Copywriting Secrets®The basic creation is all about what promises you are going to
fulfill -- what you are going to offer the buyer. (I include service with this category -- if
you’re offering legal, or plumbing, or consulting services, you still use the tactics of
selling information. Because you to sell your service, you need to inform your prospect.)
Information products have all sorts of advantages over “physical products”… not
least because we’re in the Information Age, and people understand that knowledge is
power. And they’re very willing to pay for information. And information is very simple
and inexpensive to produce (as downloadable ebooks or ecourses, as printed reports or
books, CDs, DVDs, etc.).
If what you want to market is a “physical product” -- a widget, or a machine, or a
personal jet-pack or whatever -- then you’ve got a little more area to cover. You need to
produce a prototype, and set up the manufacturing process so you know what your costs
of production are going to be. Plus, you need to get your patent, if what you’re doing
requires one for protection.
All that takes some extra time, of course. Major pain, but there is a way around
getting too deep in the financial risk (which I’ll discuss below, in a moment).
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section III-3
But here’s where most rookie marketers go wrong with both types of
product: You should never pour much money into ANY project… until you KNOW
FOR CERTAIN there’s a market for it.
I recently had a consultation with a guy who had a fairly profitable project going,
selling instruction DVDs to a certain male-dominated sports market. Then, without
checking with me first, he decided it was high time he went after the female side of this
niche.
And he spent $10,000 developing a multi-DVD instructional series just for
women… and then he spent even more money having a big fancy dedicated Web site put
up.
Imagine his shock when he discovered, soon after launching his new project…
that there WEREN’T any women in the market. At least not enough to warrant a separate
product.
He sold nothing. After three months of pouring more and more money into
testing new ads and appeals and offers… he finally did some basic research. Only to find
out what he COULD have discovered before he spent a dime -- there was no market
there.
This is NOT an uncommon blunder. The average business that gets opened in the
U.S. is a family-owned restaurant. And the most common business to close within a year
of opening… is a new family-owned business.
People get an idea into their head. “Hey, everybody needs to eat! I know how to
cook! Let’s dump our life savings into a restaurant! How hard can it be?”
And all the money gets spent on leases, signs, equipment, menu designs, cutlery
and dishes… and maybe a Yellow Pages ad. Or a postcard in a Val-Pak mailing. Or an
ad in the local free-distribution rag.
Little thought is given to a marketing plan. Or to advertising that might actually
work.
It’s heartbreaking to watch. Lucky restaurants open accidentally in heavy traffic
areas, and accidentally fill a need. Even so, it’s a shock for the owners to realize that
their little family business requires more work than a regular job… and the profits, if any,
are slim. You need multiple locations to make any real money.
And a real marketing plan.
And -- even more important -- you need to know if there’s a market for what you
offer.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section III-4
Most joints -- despite how good the food is -- fold fast. They fail to lure enough
customers to pay the bills.
I hope you’re not planning on opening a restaurant anytime soon. The big chains
are handling most of our culinary needs pretty decently right now.
However, the cautionary tale here serves equally well for anyone wanting to start
ANY kind of project -- off-line, online, in the mail, anywhere.
It is EASY to test to find out if a hot market exists for your project, too.
The search engines can focus any part of the passing parade online to your site.
All you need to do is slap together a site that promises a free report to anyone looking for
free information in the target market you’re looking to invade.
Or, set up a question-and-answer site -- let anyone post a question, and answer it
like a professional. (People in all markets love to get their personal questions answered.)
Or, just set up a “content” site -- a page full of good information that your target
market would eat up. Blogs are great for this.
You do NOT need to establish a long-term residence on this site.
All you’re after… are hits. Set up a “hit collector” site -- whatever it takes to
attract the attention of your target market.
Then, bid on the hottest and most focused search engine terms you can on Google.
Plan on spending maybe a hundred bucks in most markets. Maybe more. You
want enough hits to decide Yea or Nay on going further with your project.
All you’re looking for, right now, is SOME response from the market. If you post
a site for bowlers to get free info on scoring higher… and you get NO hits… then you
now know that bowlers aren’t gonna bite.
Time to scratch that project, and move on to something else.
On the other hand, if you post a site for scrapbooking, and you get flooded with
hits… then you know you’re hit a nerve.
Time to go forward with your project.
Either way, you’re only out the time it took to create your very basic, no frills site
(remember, all you need to know is if you’re getting hits or not -- you don’t even need to
collect email names at this point), plus whatever tiny budget you’ve allotted for Adwords.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section III-5
Going forward, armed with the knowledge of your little test, makes all the
difference.
Just as important, deciding to toss a loser project early, before you’ve spent
anything on product creation or setting up your business, will save your ass.
2. Refuse to pump money into your project until you make it a winner. Even
after you’ve discovered that your target market is hot… you STILL don’t
want to spend much money until you get your marketing working at fever
pitch.
There are 3 basic parts to marketing online: Your advertising, your actual
product, and your method of collecting payment.
That’s it.
Once you realize that, it becomes clear how you can begin to perfect each step
without exposing yourself to ridiculous expense.
The blunder here would be to go out and get 10,000 sets of your product
produced, and rent a warehouse to store it all. Or set up a phone bank to take orders, and
hire staff. Or spend oodles of bucks stacking up multiple layers of advertising with hired
copywriters.
Don’t do that yet.
Again, if you have a physical product, you need to be in a position to fulfill on
orders. That can be tricky, if die casts are needed, or complex production methods.
So I recommend you don’t sell the physical product right off the bat. If there is
another product already produced somewhere that’s similar, sell that. Even if you’re not
making the profit you want, at least you’re fulfilling orders.
Or, find a way to sell INFORMATION first. Create an information product -books, courses, CDs or DVDs even -- that can be quickly produced. Make the
information you sell as closely related to the physical product you’re going to create as
possible. If you were going to produce a better bowling ball, for example, you could first
sell information on buying better existing bowling balls, and customizing them yourself.
It’s all about your USP. Your better bowling ball is going to fill some deep need
in your target audience. What is that need? Might be better scores, might be a fashion
statement, might be a need to have new custom equipment no matter what the results are.
(Golfers are somewhat like this -- they continually buy new clubs, without any evidence
that new clubs will affect their game. My theory: Golfers just love equipment. For me,
golfing is like camping, without the sleeping bag. Lots of cool equipment that satisfies
my inner need to “hunt” and be outdoors.)
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section III-6
Once you know what your USP is, you can convert it to an information product
just as easily as a physical product. And start your testing, without all the expense of the
manufacturing process.
Side note #1: Sometimes, a new physical product can be produced by hand, or in
your garage. It may be inefficient, may be a pain in the ass… but if you can fulfill on
orders, you’re better off doing that rather than risking your life savings on an official
manufacturing set up while you’re testing.
Once you are absolutely sure, from your testing, that you could sell a ton of your
new product, THEN put it into production.
If you’re selling information products, you need to keep an eye on production
costs, too. Remember this rule: Your job is to fulfill on what you promise the buyer.
That’s more simple than many people realize. There’s absolutely NO need to go
out and spend a fortune on fancy printing jobs, or getting a thousand DVDs duped to
meet the discount.
All you need to be able to do… is fulfill on orders. Someone reads your killer ad
about a course on building your own barbeque… and you can fulfill (during your testing
periods) with photocopied Word documents stapled together. And CDs burned one at a
time on your desktop.
Very important: You don’t care about refunds when you’re testing a market
for viability.
What you’re looking for is a market that will buy what you offer.
Your variables will be the perceived value of the product, the price, and how you
communicate the offer to prospects. You’ll be continually testing all of these things.
(Many marketers are stunned to discover, after years of selling at one price, that doubling
their price doesn’t affect results. Shame on them for not having tested that sooner.)
(Others find that lowering price, or readjusting the size of the product -- by, for
example, adding CDs or free bonus reports -- can affect results dramatically. But no one
would ever be able to GUESS at these results. You need to test.)
The general rule about your advertising is simple, too: If you have to educate
your reader in order to sell him… you’re toast.
Pioneers are the guys lying face-down with arrows in their back. You may have
the greatest product in the world… but if you have to lecture people on why they should
own it, you will run into a brick wall, most of the time.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section III-7
I’ve known dozens of marketers who went broke trying to force people to
understand how great their product was. Sometimes it really was a great product… but
was either ahead of its time, or just not quite positioned for mass selling. A few buyers
would surface, just to torture the marketer. But there was never any large rush of buyers.
And sometimes, the product just isn’t ready to be sold. This is very common in
the “biz op” market -- business opportunities to make money at home, or get rich quick.
Many of those products are viable, will work fine for many people, are priced decently,
and -- if you follow directions precisely -- will make you rich.
But they’re too much work for most people… and they sense it. They want fast
results, easily gotten. It’s difficult to sell slow results, worked hard for.
Same with diets. I can tell you a BRILLIANT way to lose all the weight you
want, fast: Eat substantially less, only eat for basic nutrition, and exercise.
It’s a proven way to slim down and get healthy. But, as a product, it sucks.
Because testing shows, quite clearly, that the diet market wants “magic” -- a
simple pill that makes weight vanish overnight, without effort, without sweat or exercise,
and especially without having to give up any favorite foods.
The diet market will seldom pay for something that requires effort.
What the market WANTS determines what products will succeed.
There’s a great saying among savvy marketers: Sell your prospects what they
want, first… you can sell them what they need later.
Side note #2: A lot of very smart marketers fulfill on information products with
ebooks and ecourses, all downloadable. This saves on storing physical materials… but
will open you up to piracy, too. Returns are higher for these types of products.
And, there’s still one huge advantage to having a physical product -- you get the
home address of your buyer. This allows you to start sending snail mail, as well email.
That’s diversifying your marketing.
And, as the top marketers all know, direct mail is still King. As effective and fun
and profitable as email campaigns are… you can still multiply those results when you
include direct mail. A physical letter still has pulling power that emails do not.
This may change at some point in the future. But for now, you should know that
the top Internet marketers ALL use direct mail as well as email for their hottest
campaigns. Those that use only email do so knowing that adding direct mail would
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section III-8
increase response… the only reason they do not use snail mail is that they are happy with
the results they’re getting.
Some people are satisfied just getting rich, rather than filthy frigging rich. And
God bless them for having some perspective.
Side note #3: Perry Marshall offers a great free tool to determine how closely
your results with Google can be translated into predicted success rolling out.
This tool is a simple online calculator. You put in your “click through”
percentages, and actual numbers from each test… and you will be shown which test has a
statistical edge. This, essentially, forecasts the winning test.
Great tool when you’re doing split testing of headlines.
Go to: and give it a try.
You should know that the largest direct mail companies will decide on a control
based on a fraction of a fraction of a percentage point -- as long as it’s within what
they’ve determined to be a “statistically relevant” range. (They hire people with
advanced degrees in math.)
But, of course, they will test large numbers.
With lesser numbers to work with… say, for example, your Google testing is
between two headlines that pull 34 click throughs from 98 impressions, versus 28 click
throughs from 81 impressions… you need help. Perry’s calculator can instantly show
you the winner of this test.
3. Follow the simple rule: Concentrate on directing more traffic into your sales
funnel, so you have more opportunities to find the best way to flip them.
Once you know you’re found a hot niche market (or discovered that broader
markets respond to your offers), AND you have your advertising cooking… THEN it’s
time to pull out all the stops.
I know, for example, how much of each product I need to stock each month to fill
predicted orders. It’s not a science, and I’m not freaked out if stocks remain high for a
month or two… and I’m pleased to have to scramble a bit to get stuff on fast-track back
order to meet a sudden unexpected demand.
I work with vendors who can turn stuff around fast.
Once all the fulfillment details are in place -- the stocking, the merchant accounts,
the data management -- my job is to go back to Operation MoneySuck… and keep
writing better and better sales pitches to test against your current controls.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section III-9
That’s all there is to it. The Web is perfect for testing any wild hair idea you
have, fast and simple and easy and CHEAP.
Find a market online with needs. Create or find a product that fills those needs.
Divert traffic to your site… and test away.
Using this simple model, you are now able to find a hot market, customize
product and pitch to its passionate sweet spot, and start your profit booming with multiple
targeted tests… faster (and cheaper) than off-line marketers can get their first test
printed and ready to run.
My, oh my.
This truly is a Brave New World.
Get hip, to get rich.
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section III-10
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section III-11
Notes
© John S. Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc.
Update Section III-12
How to turn your kick-ass copywriting skills into
a career as an independent, outrageously well-paid,
respected professional writer.
“The business world is starving for copywriters who
know how to sell… and here is the simple 3-step
roadmap for getting good (fast), getting connected
(so clients start calling you) and (most importantly)
getting paid the big bucks. Freelance copywriting is
the one skill that will always be in demand, no matter
what happens in the economy.”
By John Carlton
www.john-carlton.com
©John Carlton and Carlton Ink, Inc
Get Good... Get Connected... Get Paid
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“Analyze the record of any man who has
accumulated a great fortune, and many of
those who have accumulated modest fortunes,
and you will find that they have either
consciously, or unconsciously employed the
‘Master Mind’ principle.” -- Napoleon Hill,
Think & Grow Rich