The Solemn Weight of Feathers
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/39576801.
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Mature
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
M/M, Multi
原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
Kaeya/Tartaglia | Childe/Zhongli (Genshin Impact), Diluc & Kaeya
(Genshin Impact), Kamisato Ayato & Kaeya (Genshin Impact), Kaeya &
Mona (Genshin Impact), Tartaglia | Childe/Zhongli (Genshin Impact),
Kaeya/Zhongli (Genshin Impact), Kaeya/Tartaglia | Childe (Genshin
Impact)
Kaeya (Genshin Impact), Zhongli (Genshin Impact), Tartaglia | Childe
(Genshin Impact), Kamisato Ayato, Diluc (Genshin Impact), Mona
(Genshin Impact)
Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Kaeya (Genshin Impact), Alpha
Zhongli (Genshin Impact), Alpha Tartaglia | Childe (Genshin Impact),
Alpha Kamisato Ayato, Surrogacy, Mpreg, Pregnancy, Falling In Love,
Polyamory, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Childhood Trauma, Discussion of
Homicide, Angst, Miserable attempts at humour, Tartaglia|Childe and
Zhongli are married, Unrequited Love, Diluc and Kaeya are Siblings
(Genshin Impact), Diluc and Kaeya Reconciliation (Genshin Impact),
Family Secrets, Heartbreak, Postpartum Depression, Implied/Referenced
Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Age Difference,
Protective Diluc (Genshin Impact), Healing, Moving On,
Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Therapy, Character-driven story
with very little plot, Kaeya and Mona are kinda bffs, Dancer!Kaeya,
Businessman!Zhongli, Businessman!Tartaglia|Childe, Alternate Universe
- Modern Setting, Slow Burn
English
Published: 2022-06-11 Completed: 2023-04-08 Words: 131,534
Chapters: 30/30
The Solemn Weight of Feathers
by momosagi
Summary
Kaeya Alberich, 23, is in a tight spot. The life of a Dancer really does not pay the bills, and
since the Big Disastrous Fight with his brother - if he still can call Diluc that - Kaeya can't
exactly rely on the family money to get by.
It's one ridiculously hot summer day, when Kaeya is lying on the floor of his dingy
apartment, melting into the floorboards because of course his AC is broken (what isn't?), that
he receives a phone call asking if he's interested in becoming a surrogate for quite an
affluential couple haling from Liyue.
Desperate and a bit delirious, Kaeya agrees to a meeting with the couple.
And, oh, he could really never have guessed the change that had been set in motion. Whether
he will survive it or not is entirely up to the Stars.
Notes
Ok, listen. This was supposed to be a fun, quick one-shot I started writing months ago, way
before Ayato's release. It somehow gained a mind of its own and I had to split this behemoth
into several chapters.
Expect a massively character-driven story with the discussion of some heavy themes. I advise
you to read through the tags.
*pats story affectionately* This baby can fit so much angst it's really quite ridiculous.
The Cusp of a New Chapter
There was a deep crack on the living room ceiling, that started somewhere close to the
window, and zig-zagged all the way towards the front door. Kaeya lay supine on the wooden
floor, his eyes following the crack back and forth in a frail attempt to distract himself from
the fact that he was melting. His AC had broken earlier that summer, and with it, all hopes of
Kaeya feeling even remotely comfortable in his janky apartment in Mondstadt's lower town.
He hated the summer. No, that wasn't right. He hated feeling hot in general. Like a tulip, he
would thrive in the winter, his body somehow adapting better to the snow than to the dry
spells the summer brought. If only he still lived at the Winery, at least he could go down to
the river and soak in the water for hours until his skin wrinkled like dried prunes. But alas,
the closest thing he had to a source of water was his bathtub and the cold water tap only
worked when it wanted.
As did most things in his apartment. The fridge had at some point stopped working while he'd
been away for a show in Fontaine, and Kaeya had arrived home to see a colony of bacteria
nesting near a container of spoiled food. He had considered throwing the whole thing away,
but remembered that replacing a fridge cost money he didn't have, and asking his brother for
help was out of question. So he'd taken it upon himself to wash it as thoroughly as he could.
The smell had lingered for a couple of weeks after, to a point where Kaeya wasn't sure if it
was gone or he'd just gone noseblind.
The point was, things were prone to have a will of their own in his house, and Kaeya was
exhausted and hot and broke, so he'd just ignore everything and hope it would go away. It
likely wouldn't, but one could hope.
"The tides are turning!" yelled a voice from his front door. A voice he'd known too well. A
voice he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to entertain. The click-clack of heels echoed through
his small apartment as she approached. "The stars have aligned. The future is bright!" the
footsteps stopped near his head. "What are you doing down there?"
"Contemplating the meaning of life," Kaeya sighed.
Mona's elegant eyebrow rose as she sat down next to him. "How's that working for you?"
"It isn't." Kaeya shrugged, and propped himself up on his elbows so he could face Mona.
"What are you doing here?"
"Guess!"
"You missed my face," he smirked, blinking his long lashes at her.
"Ew, gross. No. Have you heard the news?" Mona asked, jumping where she sat. Kaeya
doubted she was even aware she was doing it. "Fischl finally said yes!"
"To..."
"Moving in with me! Archons, Kaeya, do you even listen when I speak?"
"I try not to. It's harder than it looks," he lay back down, his hand tugging his shirt in an
attempt to fan himself. It wasn't working. "I'm dying."
"No, you're not." Mona frowned and placed one delicate finger over Kaeya's forehead. She
closed her eyes for a couple of seconds and then she gasped. "Change is afoot. Your life is in
the cusp of a new chapter, but it depends on you to set it in motion. You will encounter new
trials, and you'll need a solid support system to swim the murky waters of your unknown
future, but in the end it will benefit you greatly."
"So what you're saying is that for the sake of my mental health, I should invest in repairing
my AC," Kaeya stared at the crack in the ceiling again, hoping it would provide him with
some sort of monetary enlightenment. Instead it provided him with a spider, crawling away
from the crack towards the corner of the room where it started weaving its web. "You suck at
this."
"The future isn't clear. It's more like a first sketch of a painting, right? It gives you a direction,
an idea of what's supposed to be. But it's up to you, the artist, to refine the lines," she pouted,
brushing her long ponytail off her shoulder. "Will you come to Fischl's housewarming
dinner?"
"Do I have a choice?"
"You're funny," Mona chuckled, patting his shoulder. She eventually lay down beside him,
her sundress riding up her thighs as she folded her knees up. It was nice like this, just lying
on the floor and pretending they weren't sentient for a few minutes.
Complain though he did, Kaeya genuinely enjoyed Mona's company and eccentricity. The
fact that they were both broke Omega trying their hardest to survive in their respective fields
was something that definitely helped them bond. Unlike Mona, however, Kaeya was
struggling to make a name for himself.
Dancing had been ingrained in his DNA since he was old enough to crawl. One of his fondest
early memories was walking through the streets and dancing to the sound of busking
musicians. He couldn't remember if he'd still been under the care of his biological parents or
if he'd already been adopted by the Ragnvindrs. He could only remember his body moving in
rhythm with the sound, and feeling like he belonged nowhere else.
Unfortunately for him, most Omega friendly dance companies favoured the stereotypical
small, delicate omega. And standing at almost 5'11" Kaeya was far from being a walking
stereotype. Still, the recent gig he'd booked in Fontaine had helped him liquidate some of his
debt, and pay a couple of months rent in advance, so he was secure for a while longer.
The alternative was admitting to his brother that he'd been right, that Kaeya wouldn't make it
on his own, that he should have taken the marriage proposal to that Inazuman aristocrat, and
secured himself a stable life with no financial trouble and live the rest of his life feeling
miserable as he popped out kids for an Alpha he didn't love.
His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his phone as it chimed somewhere behind his
head. Kaeya sat up straight, looking around himself and following the sound until he found
his phone under a pillow on the couch.
"Hello?"
"Good afternoon! My name is Barbara, I'm calling you from Favonius Clinic, is this mister
Kaeya Alberich?"
He frowned, flopping down on the couch now. The clinic's name was familiar to him, but he
wasn't sure why. Still he cleared his throat and adopted a more professional tone.
"Yes, that would be me," he said, shifting uncomfortably on the couch. "Is everything all
right?"
"Yes!" Barbara said, her voice jovial and friendly. "We have an indication here that you've
signed up to be a surrogate around five months ago, and we're wondering if you're still
interested? A couple has expressed their interest in you to carry their first child."
Oh. Shit. He had done that hadn't he? In flash of desperation after not being able to pay rent
for almost three months and facing imminent eviction, Kaeya had gotten drunk off his ass
and made the kneejerk decision to put his cursed anatomy to good use. He'd completely
forgotten about it once morning came and he had to nurse a massive hangover.
"I confess I have completely forgotten about that," he said, pinching the bridge off his nose.
"I don't know."
"I understand," The lady on the other side said, her smile still evident in her tone. "Well,
would you be willing to come to the clinic and meet the couple? You can always make your
decision after the meeting should you decide not to go through with the surrogacy."
Mona had sat up at that point and locked eyes with him. 'Your life is in the cusp of a new
chapter,' she had said, and though Kaeya had never really cared for her astrology agenda, he
could use some change. This stagnant neverwhere he found himself in wasn't benefitting him
at all, and he hadn't heard about new auditions since Fontaine, which was beginning to worry
him.
Besides, he could always say no if he felt he wasn't ready for it. But what did he lose in
meeting a hopeful couple? Mona raised her eyebrows, and Kaeya sighed.
"When would this meeting be?"
"Whenever you're available. They're from Liyue, but they've decided to stay in Mondstadt for
as long as it takes them to find the perfect surrogate," Barbara informed him, sounding much
more hopeful. "Doctor Gunnhildr has an opening tomorrow at three, does that work for you?"
"Uh, yes?" Kaeya pursed his lips.
"Lovely! I'll let the happy couple know. Thank you very much for giving them a chance,
mister Alberich!" Barbara all but sang at him. "See you tomorrow at three!"
The call ended with a click and Kaeya dropped his hand to stare at the screen. It felt a little
surreal, like he was living outside of himself. Was he seriously considering it? Was he really
willing to lend his body to grow someone else's child?
It wasn't that bad, he supposed. All he had to do was to carry a tiny human for a while, and
then give it back. So he didn't have to bother with raising the brat, at least. Not that he
disliked children, mind. Just the responsibility that came with it. A child was a commitment,
but if it wasn't his, then there was no commitment, therefore, it stopped being his problem as
soon as he'd given birth.
He could do that.
Besides, it was not set in stone. He wasn't totally heartless. If the couple smelled fishy, Kaeya
wouldn't do it at all. A kid deserved a good life. Kaeya knew well what it was like to feel
rejected and unloved growing up. He didn't wish that on anyone.
"Kaeya!"
Jumping at the shout, he looked up at Mona, who was now kneeling in front of him, her
hands on his knees. "What?"
"You spaced out. You weren't even blinking. It was terrifying," she told him, her hand gently
brushing his hair away from his face. "You okay?"
"I... I think so," he mused, leaning towards his friend's cool touch. How did she manage to
stay so cool in that heat was beyond him. "I think I'm going to become a surrogate."
Mona blinked, jaw dropping.
He fully resonated with the feeling.
Enemies in Every Nation
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Kaeya wasn't nervous.
He wasn't nervous as he tried to force his left shoe on his right foot. He wasn't nervous when
he buttoned his shirt two spaces off, he wasn't nervous when he nearly fell on his face while
walking down the stairs (again, because the lift in his building was more like a museum relic
rather than a functioning contraption). He was, however, nervous during the bus ride, and
damn near panicking by the time he arrived at the clinic. There was a lump forming in his
throat, palms sweaty, but that could also be due to the ungodly heatwave that was still
blanketing Mondstadt.
Maybe he'd die of heatstroke before he walked in there. That was something to look forward
to. He could only hope.
Someone bumped into him, jolting him forward.
"My apologies," The man said, nodding his head once before walking into the clinic, and
holding the door open for Kaeya. "Are you coming in, too?"
Kaeya hesitated, looking at the man like he was an alien. With how handsome he was, he
might as well have been one. He looked so composed and proper, so elegant and confident,
so polished with his long hair neatly pulled into a low ponytail and his brown and gold suit.
By the stars, people like that existed?
Kaeya realised he'd been staring when the other man slowly smiled at him, like he knew. Of
course he knew. He looked like he knew everything about everything, past present and future.
How ridiculous.
"Yes, sorry," Kaeya said, thanking him as he walked inside the clinic and made a beeline for
the front desk. Maybe it was impolite but something about the man's gaze made Kaeya feel
naked. And not in a completely uncomfortable way. It was weird, he didn't like it, but he
didn't entirely hate it either.
"Hi, how can I help you?" The girl at the reception smiled broadly at him, and Kaeya almost
believed that she was genuinely happy to see him. The little plaque on her breast pocket read
Ellin.
"Hi. I'm supposed to have a meeting with uh... Doctor Gun... Uh..."
"Ah, Doctor Gunnhildr," Ellin turned her attention to the computer screen and tapped over
the keyboard. "Could you tell me your name and rank?"
"Kaeya Alberich," he said, his hands fidgeting before he shoved them into the pockets of his
jeans "Omega."
Ellin paused, looked from the screen to him and her eyes seemed to sparkle. It was like she
knew a secret he wasn't in on, but still expected him to acknowledge it. It was bizarre and
frankly Kaeya wasn't sure how to react, so he just offered her his best smile and hoped she
wouldn't ask questions.
"You can sit in the waiting room, Doctor Gunnhildr will call you soon," Ellin said, looking
perhaps a little too happy for his liking.
The chairs in the waiting room were uncommonly comfortable. Maybe because this was a
private clinic and therefore more generous with how they treated their clients, but honestly
Kaeya had barely slept all night, and the chairs were almost inviting him to sink down and
take a nice nap. If only he wasn't such a nervous wreck.
The glass table that sat beside his chair sported a sizeable pile of gossip magazines that were
almost three months old, and prenatal pamphlets that he wasn't sure he wanted to read. Old
gossip wasn't his cup of liquor, so he picked up a pamphlet instead. The illustrations were
distracting enough that the text didn't require much attention, so Kaeya entertained himself
for a couple of minutes before pulling out his phone and shooting Mona a message.
Kaeya: I'm going to have a heart attack
Mona: You have a heart?!?!?
Kaeya: IDK man it's news to me too
Mona: Have you met them yet?
Kaeya: No.
Kaeya: I don't think I can do this
Kaeya: Why did they choose me?
Kaeya: What a dumb thing to do!
Mona: Have you ttied
Mona: *tried breathing?
Kaeya: I think I forgot how.
The door opened, distracting him from his screen for a second. The newcomer walked in with
all the confidence of a king. He strutted into the room like he owned the place, his grey suit
sharp and pristine, his red button down shirt open down to his collarbone, his red hair swept
back as he closed the distance between himself and the man in brown that had taken a seat on
the other side of the room at some point. Kaeya watched with mild surprise as he bent down,
and greeted him with a brief kiss, before flopping on the chair next to him.
They talked quietly for a few seconds, and eventually they must have noticed him staring,
again, because the redhead lifted his head to look straight into Kaeya's eyes, offering him a
wolfish smile. It was much like a challenge, whoever looked away first, lost, and Kaeya was
not a loser. So he lifted his chin and stared right back, hardly blinking.
Eventually the man in brown must have commented or done something, because the redhead
jolted and broke eye contact to whine at his partner. Kaeya felt his phone vibrate and looked
down again.
Mona: Did you die?
Mona: Archons have mercy, did you really have a heart attack?
Mona: Should I call Fischl?
Kaeya: What would you call her for?
Kaeya: What could she possibly do for me if I had a heart attack?
Mona: Not for you, dimwit. For me.
Mona: She's my emotional support person.
Kaeya: What am I then?
Mona: Emotional distress gremlin
Kaeya: Aw chucks, you'll make me cry
Mona: Don't.
Mona: You look ugly when you cry.
Mona: Don't scare the children.
The speakers crackled overhead and a voice that was somewhat familiar to him called out
"Kaeya Alberich, Room 1."
Kaeya: I have to go. Wish me luck.
He pocketed his phone and stood up, noticing with no small amount of pride that his legs
weren't shaking as bad as they'd been before he'd arrived. A young woman in a bouncy
ponytail greeted him inside the room. She was about as tall as Mona, but infinitely sweeter, at
least in appearance. Her bright blue eyes smiled as kindly as her lips when she offered to take
Kaeya's coat.
"I'm Barbara, Doctor Jean's assistant nurse. I spoke to you yesterday on the phone," she said,
hanging Kaeya's coat on the rack by the door. "Doctor Jean is just finishing up with a patient,
and she'll be right over. How are you feeling?"
Kaeya looked around himself. It looked like any other doctor's office, with a nice desk and a
couple of fancy chairs and an exam table pushed against the opposite wall. If he agreed to go
forth with this ridiculous idea, he suspected he'd be seeing this room a lot more.
"I'm... Agitated, I suppose," he said, shifting from one foot to the other. "Are they here yet?
The couple?"
"Yes. We will call them shortly, but before that I want to ask you some basic questions, if
that's all right with you? Just general health stuff, to keep on your record," Barbara sat at the
desk and fiddled with the keyboard for a moment. "Even if you decide not to follow through
with this couple, we would still have your record updated for any interested future parents."
The questions were, as promised, short and simple, which Kaeya was thankful for
considering his brain was functioning on a half-hour nap and an obscene amount of coffee.
Which, now that he thought about it, was something he should probably not say out loud, lest
they keep him in for observation for caffeine poisoning or something ridiculous like that.
Not long after Barbara finished with his questionnaire, Doctor Gunnhildr walked into the
room, wearing a crisp white lab coat, her hair pulled up into a neat bun, not unlike the
ballerinas he'd danced with on stage. She was considerably taller than Barbara, but apart from
that, they looked strikingly similar. Her smile was genuine and Kaeya felt himself relaxing a
little.
"Ah, Mister Alberich!" she greeted, shaking his hand.
"Just Kaeya, please," he said.
"Then please do feel free to call me Doctor Jean. I see Barbara has updated your file. Is there
anything else we should know before calling the happy couple?"
Kaeya shook his head, discreetly wiping his sweaty palms over his jeans again. "Not that I
know of. Is there anything I should know about them?"
"Yes," Doctor Jean sat up straighter, crossing her legs under the table. "This case is rather
delicate. The couple in question is somewhat high-profile, especially in the nation of Liyue.
Hence why they have chosen to go through the surrogacy process in Mondstadt. You may be
asked to sign a couple of NDAs should you agree to carry for them."
Kaeya's brow rose. High-profile usually meant rich. If they really had the money to pay for a
whole person to carry another whole person inside them for months, then Kaeya assumed
they could provide the best conditions for the child. That was good.
"Okay," he drawled, fingers coming up to play with his hair. "Anything else?"
"They're Alpha."
Oh.
"Both of them?"
"Both of them."
Oh.
Apart from Crepus and Diluc, Kaeya didn’t really have the best experience with other alphas.
Even his relationship with Diluc had eventually soured, but that had been due to his
stubbornness and Diluc's almost obsessive will to keep the promises he'd made to his father
on his deathbed. Promises he'd made in Kaeya's stead like it was his right to make decisions
about his life. Promises Kaeya had no intention of keeping.
"Is that going to be a problem?" Doctor Jean asked, leaning forward a little, her hands laced
together. "I will preface this by saying that if at any point you feel uncomfortable or unsafe
you are free to leave."
"No. That's not- It's fine," Kaeya cleared his throat and tried to regain some semblance of
composure. "When do I meet them?"
Jean spoke into a little microphone and not a minute later there was a knock on the door.
Kaeya's heart was practicing its daily gymnastics routine again, flipping and fluttering and
somersaulting like it was going for gold at the Celestial Trials. He felt sick.
"May we?"
The voice was smooth and deep and wholy familiar. That voice, or rather, the man it
belonged to, had held a door open for him earlier that day. And his companion had lost a
stare-down across a waiting room filled with pregnant Omega.
"Please do come in. Sit down, we have much to discuss," Doctor Jean motioned to the empty
chairs across from Kaeya and the pair sat down, as elegantly as only two people blessed by
the Stars could.
Was it even legal for two handsome Alpha to be married to each other? It didn't feel legal.
Kaeya didn't want to put a baby in their care. It felt too good. Maybe he was being cat-fished.
"I'm assuming you're Kaeya, then," The man in brown said, holding out his hand for Kaeya to
shake. Kaeya didn't. The man dropped his hand again, seemingly unperturbed. "My name is
Zhongli, and this is my husband Ajax. We're very happy you agreed to meet with us today."
Zhongli spoke as formally as he held himself. Like he owned the world and it's secrets in the
palm of his hand. Kaeya wasn't sure if it was attractive or incredibly obnoxious. Then he
frowned, looking from one to the other, and back again.
"You knew."
"Why, yes," Zhongli nodded. "Your profile does have your picture. So when we met outside I
recognised you immediately."
"You didn't say anything. Why?" Kaeya asked.
"Would you have felt comfortable if I did?"
Had Zhongli told him he was the potential father of the potential child he'd potentially be
carrying, Kaeya would have likely laughed in his face and fled. Now that he thought about it,
and though he was loathe to admit it, the man was right.
"No."
"I thought it better to allow us to meet in a more controlled setting," Zhongli smiled, and
stars, what a beautiful sight it was. "Pity my idiot husband has a penchant for antagonising
people everywhere he goes. For a moment I thought he'd scared you away."
"Yes, Li. Tell our future surrogate all about how I have enemies in every Nation. I'm sure
that'll convince him to trust a child to our care," Ajax clicked his tongue and leaned back.
"Don't mind him. His getting old."
"Ancient," Zhongli confirmed, nodding solemnly. "Thirty-two before the year ends. I'll be on
my deathbed before you know it."
This was... Strangely familiar. Banter Kaeya could deal with, and these two seemed to have it
by the bucketful. Kaeya watched them exchange petty insults with one another, but the look
of adoration as they spoke... Maybe- Maybe Kaeya was missing something like this. His last
relationship had been nothing to write home about, if anything he'd rather not think about it at
all. For a moment he'd thought he'd found a semblance of happiness, but that, too, had luckily
fallen apart. As all good things in his life ought to do.
"This meeting is mostly to allow you three to know each other better, and for Kaeya to decide
if he's going through with the surrogacy or not. My role here is mostly to answer any medical
questions you might have," Doctor Jean said.
"What do you two do for a living," Kaeya heard himself ask. Honestly he was curious. For a
high-profile couple, Kaeya sure had never seen either of them. Granted, he didn't consume
any media, but still. When they didn't immediately reply, he said, "I just want to know if you
have the conditions to raise a child."
"We work in business," Ajax replied, crossing his leg at the ankle and reaching to hold
Zhongli's hand. "Zhongli owns a jewellery company, and I deal in international trade. I
oversee the Liyue branch of a Snezhnayan Corporate, so we're both mostly local."
Okay. So they were rich-rich. That begged the question of if they'd be too busy to tend to
their kid once the time came, but if they had time to come to Mondstadt to acquire a child in
the first place, then they'd probably make time for them, too.
"Why did you pick me?" Kaeya asked next, gently tugging the loose strands on his ponytail.
"Genetics," Ajax laughed, head thrown back. "You're a sight to behold, you know?"
Zhongli rolled his eyes. "That and we watched your show in Fontaine. We were there on
vacation a couple of months ago, and we were lucky enough to catch your performance. Ajax
was, what's the word? Smitten."
"That is also true. When we came to Mondstadt in search of the perfect surrogate, we didn't
think we'd see your profile among pile of many others. It was quite a shock," Ajax tilted his
head to the side and smiled as he observed Kaeya. Again his eyes were intense, challenging,
but this time Kaeya wasn't sure he was up for a game.
"You watched me dance?" He asked, pride swelling in his chest.
"My husband is not unlike a magpie, you see," Zhongli smiled. "He gets easily distracted by
shiny things. And you were positively beaming on that stage."
"So I told Zhongli that it had to be you. It has to be you."
Kaeya sucked in a deep breath. It was a big decision. A pregnancy at this stage of his life
could very well hinder his career. But he didn't really have a career, though, did he? Kaeya
had been fighting for years, only to get a couple of gigs every year or so. It wasn't nearly
enough to put food on the table, let alone pay rent. Even his shitty apartment was becoming
too much to sustain with his savings, falling apart as it was.
He wanted so bad to show Diluc he didn't need an alpha. He wanted to protect his freedom
and his independence, and here he was, considering giving it all up to get knocked up for two
strangers.
The difference was, this was his choice. His terms. His own agency. And not some arranged
marriage with a man he didn't know but would be forced to live with for the rest of his life.
"How would this work?" He asked Doctor Jean.
"Well, first we'd run several exams, blood tests, fertility tests, the lot. Then we'd monitor your
oestrus cycle and heat calendar, and then you'd be spending your heat with the alpha for
optimal chance of pregnancy. It might take a couple of tries for it to work. First-try
pregnancies aren't very common."
Kaeya couldn't quite suppress the chill that ran down his back. The thought of allowing one
or two complete strangers to touch him when he was the at his most vulnerable was
absolutely terrifying to him. He couldn't do it. He couldn't.
"Is there another way," Zhongli asked, seemingly reading Kaeya's thoughts, "for fertilisation
to occur successfully? Is our only option to spend Kaeya's heat together?"
"What's so wrong about it?" Ajax asked, frowning. "Why wouldn't we be able to spend
Kaeya's heat with him? Do you think I'd be jealous? We've talked about this-"
"My love, have you considered that maybe Kaeya doesn't feel comfortable with the idea?"
Zhongli chided, affectionately brushing a strand of red hair away from his husband's eyes.
"Why wouldn't he? If he agrees to carry for us, wouldn't the most effective way be-"
"Ajax." Zhongli cut him off, holding his hand. "Kaeya is an omega. I understand that you
come from a place where omegas are extremely rare, and therefore there are stricter laws to
protect them, but you're not in Snezhnaya anymore. Life is often unkind to omegas in most
nations."
The couple fell silent as the words were processed, and eventually Ajax nodded, turning to
their Doctor with a solemn expression. Kaeya wondered if what Zhongli said was true.
Stricter laws for their protection, huh? Though Mondstadt wasn't the worst place to be an
omega, their voices were often smothered under the privilege of alphas.
To know that his brothers and sisters in Snezhnaya felt safer was a relief. Maybe Mondstadt
and the other nations would learn a thing or three from them.
"Well," Doctor Jean glanced at Kaeya, her hands delicately lacing together atop the desk.
"There is In Vitro. Heat fertilisation is usually more successful due to the continuous sexual
activity that occurs during the oestrus cycle. But we can also do it artificially. We'd collect the
eggs from your omega surrogate, and the sperm from the alpha donor, and fertilise the egg in
a controlled environment in our labs. Then we'd plant the fertilised egg directly into the
surrogate's uterus, and hope that it takes."
Kaeya hadn't realised he'd sighed in relief until three heads turned to look at him."I do prefer
that option." He said, feeling a little more relaxed now. "What about costs?"
"Ah. That would be none of your concern. From the moment you agree to carry for us, we
will fully cover your expenses. From rent, to food, to clothes, it's our responsibility to take
care of you and our baby," Ajax guaranteed, dismissing Kaeya's concerns with a wave of his
hand. Rich people were insufferable.
"A contract will be drafted with your daily allowance for the duration of the process and any
other conditions we agree on. Bear in mind that if by the end of the pregnancy you decide to
keep the child, as it is your right as they will be biologically yours, we will need a new
contract to stipulate visiting rights and other custody privileges," Zhongli clarified, his tone
oddly professional. He'd grown so used to his banter with Ajax, he'd completely forgotten
that this pregnancy would be essentially a business transaction.
For some reason he felt wrong thinking about the whole process as something so cold and
impersonal.
But the more they talked, the more Kaeya entertained the idea. Maybe with the money he
could go to dance school and further his education after he recovered from the whole ordeal.
He was a twenty-three year old man, healthy and passionate and driven. His only roadblock
was his financial situation. Not only that, but Zhongli and Ajax seemed to be genuine in their
endeavour to raise a family of their own.
There was just one thing Kaeya couldn't overlook.
"I have one more question," he breathed, turning to face the couple. "How superstitious are
you?"
Judging by the twin looks of confusion on their faces, it would be safe to assume they hadn't
predicted the direction of his words. Kaeya couldn't blame them. They were here to talk baby
stuff, not to discuss whether walking under a ladder would cause them to burst into flames or
not. They waited, as though expecting Kaeya to elaborate. So he did.
He pushed his hair away from his face, and with careful fingers he reached for his right eye.
Slowly, carefully not to hurt himself, he took out the blue coloured contact lens cloaking his
iris. Though he didn't feel much of a difference, he was so used to its shape against his
cornea, he always felt naked when exposing his golden eye.
Ajax gasped. "Pardon my dialect, but what the fuck."
Yeah. He'd been expecting that. The Eye of the Fallen was a thing of legend, after all. Rare
though it was, stories told that those who were born with it were cursed to never know
happiness. Most people preferred to avoid people like Kaeya. As a child, he had hidden
behind an eyepatch. As an adult, the eyepatch became a hindrance, affecting his depth of
field when he danced and creating a blind spot that he'd rather live without, especially
considering the security - or lack thereof - or the area where he lived.
So Kaeya readied himself for the inevitable rejection. He was about to wish them luck in
finding a suitable surrogate when Ajax spoke again.
"No, 'cause that's hot."
Kaeya's eyes snapped up.
"Ajax, please," Zhongli chuckled.
"What?! He is! I can't say he's hot? Look at all of that!" Ajax protested, gesturing vaguely in
Kaeya's general direction. "And he's talented, and hot, our kid will be so cool."
"If Kaeya accepts," Zhongli ruffled Ajax's hair, before looking expectantly at Kaeya. "To
answer your question, we're not superstitious at all."
"Unless you count breaking pinky promises. Trust me, in Snezhnaya a pinky promise is
worth more than a written contract." Ajax seriously added, his brow furrowed. "It's a whole
thing."
There was a moment in which he allowed himself to just stare at the odd couple in front of
him. And then, to his surprise, laughter bubbled within his chest and burst past his lips.
Kaeya threw his head back, shoulders shaking as he tried to figure out what his life was
becoming.
The way Zhongli patiently allowed Ajax to openly express his attraction to Kaeya, the way
Ajax spoke, so candidly, with no shame of admitting his thoughts despite his husband being
right there. Was this...
Was this what a healthy relationship was like?
He tried to imagine them raising a child together, the chaos and hilarity that would ensue. But
also the support the kid would have as they discovered the world.
"Okay," Kaeya smiled, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. His stomach hurt, but it felt
like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. "When do we sign this contract?"
Chapter End Notes
I can't recall if I have mentioned this in the previous chapter but, fair warning, I am not a
native English speaker, and I do not have a beta. Therefore, expect mistakes to pop up
here and there and everywhere. Careful though I am during my revisions, things may
feel stilted at times. That's entirely on me.
Thank you for your patience. ❤
Bleach Margherita
"You want to what, now?"
Kaeya was still panting, sprawled out on the studio floor after spending the afternoon dancing
his anxiety away. It had worked for the most part. Then Ajax had called him, and Kaeya
already regretted ever leaving his bed.
A gigantic, fat, juicy daily allowance, he reminded himself. Dance school. A career. Just pop
a baby out first.
"We want to visit your place," Ajax said on the other side of the speaker. "We want to see
your living conditions and how we can improve them to make you more comfortable during
the pregnancy."
Kaeya thought about his dingy apartment with a massive crack on the ceiling and a family of
spiders living in the corner of his bedroom. He thought about the tiny shower that barely fit
him as it was, let alone when he looked like he'd swallowed a planet. He thought about the
broken lift, the broken AC, the broken fridge, the broken tap, the broken everything. He
thought about allowing two alphas to enter his space. Kaeya wasn't sure he liked that very
much.
"My living situation is comfortable," Kaeya protested, sounding more defensive than he'd
meant to. "Besides, I'm used to doing things on my own, I don't need improvements."
There was a moment of silence on the other side and suddenly Zhongli's baritone spoke. "If it
would make you feel more at ease, you could invite a friend over, so it's not just the three of
us. But it would put us infinitely more at ease to know that you're comfortable. A comfortable
and happy omega means a healthy baby. We only want the best for the both of you. And if
there are any repairs to be done, it's better they're dealt with before you're actually carrying."
Sometimes Kaeya hated how composed Zhongli sounded. It was like he had fallen into a
cauldron of Logic Potion as a child and every argument he made was a winning one. To think
that Kaeya would probably have to go through the rest of the summer pregnant with with no
AC was enough to make him depressed. Besides, he had to think about the child. He was just
holding onto the baby for a while, but any mistakes made during the gestational period could
affect the baby's life long-term.
"Fine," Kaeya groaned, standing up at last, his shoes squeaking in the polished floor. "But I
warn you, you won't like what you're going to see."
"What do you mean?" Asked Ajax, his voice smaller, like he was further away from the
phone. "Is it very messy? That's okay, Zhongli is messy too. It drives me up the walls."
"N-no. It's... I live in the Lower Town," Kaeya said, frowning when he noticed his shoelace
was undone.
"Okay, and?"
"Ah. Never mind. You'll see when you get there. When are you thinking of coming over?"
"Will this afternoon work for you?" Zhongli asked.
Kaeya nearly tripped on his way to his gym bag. "You mean, like, today?"
"Ajax has to return to Liyue for a few days to take care of urgent business. He's leaving
tomorrow evening."
A soft knock briefly grasped Kaeya's attention and he looked up to see Eula standing at the
door, fully geared out to start her own practice. He nodded in apology, realising only then that
he'd gone overtime during his practice schedule.
"I'm at the studio right now," Kaeya said into the phone as he retrieved his USB from the
stereo. "I won't be home anytime soon."
"Where is the studio?" He heard Ajax ask, his voice a little closer to the receiver this time.
"Falcon Coast," Kaeya slung his bag over his shoulder, high-fiving Eula as he left for the
door. "The bus schedule is a little irregular at this hour, so I should be home in about, I don't
know, an hour? Two? It's a coin toss, really."
Someone called his name and he turned around to wave at Amber. Then covering the
microphone on his phone he said "She's already in there waiting for you."
"Ugh! Thank you!"
On his phone, Ajax was still trying to figure out where exactly the dance studio was, when
Zhongli spoke in his ear. "We'll picky you up. Can you wait ten minutes? We happen to be in
the area."
"I suppose I can find something to entertain myself with for ten minutes," Kaeya said, diving
his hand into his gym bag and pulling out a bottle of water. He was still sweaty and generally
gross, but a shower would have to wait.
"Thank you, Kaeya. We'll be there shortly."
Zhongli ended the call, and Kaeya sighed, looking down at his phone, at the crack that ran
across his screen after it flew from his hands when he fell down the stairs in his building.
What was his life becoming?
After the first meeting with the golden couple, Kaeya had almost considered backing out
when he arrived home and told Mona the gist of what had happened. When she asked him if
he was looking forward to the pains of labour, Kaeya had genuinely considered faking his
own death just so he wouldn't have to go through with the surrogacy.
But then, two days later when they met again to sign the contract, and he saw the ridiculous
sum that would eventually feed into his bank account, he'd made up his mind so quickly it
nearly gave him whiplash.
With that money he could probably join the best companies in Teyvat. Snezhnaya had a very
long history of dance and ballet. The best of the best were usually represented by a
Snezhnaya or Fontaine company. And Kaeya knew he was good enough to make it. He just
needed to be able to pay his tuition fees and he'd be set to take the world by storm and live
his freedom in his own terms and conditions. No arranged marriage, no forced parenthood,
no misery.
Things were looking up. He wondered if Crepus would be proud of him.
His phone vibrated in his hand again, and a notification popped on his screen.
Zhongli: We're here.
He leaned back against the wall and sucked in a deep breath. He wasn't looking forward to
showing those two to his home. They looked like they belonged in a sterile environment
where the dirtiest thing they were allowed to touch was the toilet paper they used to wipe
themselves with.
Kaeya had woken up to a cockroach crawling on his face.
Breathing in slowly, he left the studio. Ajax and Zhongli were parked a few feet away, on a
slick black sports car. Ajax took his aviators off and waved at him, a smirk plastered on his
face, his husband sitting next to him focused on something else entirely. Kaeya approached.
"-telling you that I did it the way you told me to and it's still not working," Zhongli was
saying as Kaeya approached the car.
"Having trouble with your phone?" Kaeya asked, his lips quirking into a smile.
"Hop on in!" Ajax said from behind the wheel. Kaeya did, easily sliding into the backseat and
clipping on his seat belt. "Don't mind Zhongli. Technology is hard for old people."
"I invented technology!" Zhongli grumbled, waving his phone like a cocktail shaker, like that
was going to help whatever he was trying to do.
"Of course you did, my love," Ajax laughed, giving Zhongli's thigh a squeeze. "Kaeya I'm
counting on you to guide me. I'm not as familiar with Mondstadt as I would like."
There was something familiar, welcoming about Zhongli's and Ajax's banter. Kaeya
wondered if he'd ever meet someone with whom he'd feel that comfortable. Sometimes he
was certain that he didn't need anyone but himself to live a long and fulfilling life. But seeing
couples pop around himself like mushrooms got him thinking. Mona and Fischl, Eula and
Amber, Zhongli and Ajax. Kaeya wondered not for the first time if he was just not meant to
be loved. And if that was the case, would that be enough for him?
Who was to know? After all, Kaeya was cursed. He wouldn't truly dare to want something he
knew he was never meant to have.
"Make a right after the Cat Café and then try to find a parking space," he instructed, clutching
onto the strap of his gym bag.
Soon, and by some miracle that apparently only blessed those of fortune, they were parking
right in front of Kaeya's door. Their pristine, expensive car looking out of place among the
others there. Ajax got out of the car and walked around to hold the door open for Kaeya. His
expression was blank, but the small furrow of his brows wasn't lost on him.
"Hey, Kaeya. You sure we're in the right place?" he asked.
With a laugh, Kaeya climbed out of the car and patted Ajax on the shoulder.
"Ah-ha!" Cried Zhongli, following them out and turning his phone around to show them the
screen. "I told you I could do it! See? This GPS thing is working now! Morax's horns, what a
retched place. Have we done a wrong turn somewhere?"
"No, this is it. Home sweet home," Kaeya told them, still smiling. He walked up to the door
and tried to fit his key in. The lock was as old as the rest of the building, and sometimes it
just decided that it wasn't going to work. With a groan he pressed Mona's apartment's
doorbell. A minute later her voice sounded on the communicator, broken and distant.
"H-llo? Wh- - s it?"
"Door's stuck again," he said.
"-k-y, c-me on -p!"
She buzzed them in and he pushed the door hard, the old hinges squeaking unpleasantly. He
opened it just enough for himself and the other two to squeeze through. "Careful with the
fourth step, it has a nasty hole. I keep forgetting about it, and it's not a pleasant experience.
Also lean on the walls and not on the handrails. Their existence is purely decorative.
"Which floor do you live on?" Asked Zhongli, looking about as appalled as Ajax. It would
have been funny if Kaeya didn't feel the pain.
"Third," He said starting on the stairs.
"There's a lift," Ajax pointed at the sliding doors like Kaeya had never noticed its existence
before.
"I am aware," he smiled. "I've lived here for four years, and that thing is permanently stuck
between floors four and five. Come on. Stairs are good for cardio training."
As they passed the second floor, he heard a door open, and out came Mona, wrapping herself
in a long dressing gown.
"Kae- Oh. You're not alone."
"You noticed, huh?"
They exchanged quick greetings before Mona turned her attention to him again. "Is it going
to take long? You said you'd help me with Fisch's housewarming dinner."
"Why would anyone want to live in this godforsaken hell hole?" Ajax asked, sounding about
as shocked as Zhongli looked.
"Rent's cheap," Said Mona with a dismissive shrug. "So?"
"I'll come by as soon as I'm done. Do you want to come up with us?" Kaeya invited, his eyes
pleading. He wasn't entirely uncomfortable in the presence of the two alphas. But he'd been
wrong before. Still, if they had any ill intentions, now they knew Mona knew who they were,
maybe there was a chance they wouldn't try anything unsavoury.
She looked at him, then took a good long look at he other two. "I can think of at least thirtynine things I'd rather do, including - but not limited to - stabbing myself in the hand with a
fork, drinking a bleach margherita and, picture if you will, exercising."
"Not exercising! But, I'll join you on that margherita later when I come by," Kaeya promised,
already starting on the next flight of stairs.
Mona swiftly closed the door behind them without so much as a goodbye, and Kaeya guided
the couple the rest of the way. Unlike the downstairs door, his lock was entirely useless. He
could sneeze on it and it would open on its own, which was useful when he went out for
groceries and forgot his keys in the house. Thankfully, Kaeya didn't really own anything of
value, except perhaps his phone, so even if someone tried to rob him, they would have to
content themselves with an old couch or a box TV that only had black and white image (yes,
just the image, no sound.)
He opened the door and toed off his shoes at the entrance. "Shoes off in the house," he told
them, before dropping his gym bag on the floor by the entrance of his bedroom. "And here
we are. Make yourselves comfortable, if you can."
"Thank you," Zhongli said, not sounding all that thankful. He looked like he was afraid of
touching the doorknobs. Kaeya had been too, honestly, that's why he'd spent three days
disassembling them and thoroughly washing them when he'd first moved in.
Kaeya leaned back against the nearest wall, arms folded over his chest, and watched as Ajax
and Zhongli tried to take in the sight around them.
"I'm sure someone has been murdered in here at some point," Ajax muttered, reaching for the
light switch. He flipped it a couple of times, but the light didn't turn on.
"That doesn't work," Kaeya grabbed a small bench by the window and climbed it so he could
reach the light bulb. Then he screwed the bulb the rest of the way and the light finally flicked
on. "There you go."
"How do you turn it off?" Ajax virtually squeaked, his voice raising several octaves. "Isn't the
bulb like really hot?"
"That's what the gloves are for," Kaeya said, motioning to a pair of thick gardening gloves on
top of the table.
"Archons help me," Zhongli sighed. "Kaeya, why do you live like this?"
For some reason, he felt himself growing irrationally angry. What did these posh, rich alphas
know about life's struggles? They were born in privilege. The closest thing they knew from
borderline poverty was the homeless people they ignored when they passed them on the
street.
"I am an unconventional omega male who dances for a living," Kaeya bristled, his hand
motioning widely around him. "This is what someone of my standing can afford. It beats
living on the streets, and it beats losing my freedom to marry off some knothead alpha. I
refuse to be someone's breeding bitch. So get your silver spoon out of your ass and think for a
second that maybe I live like this because I don't have another option!"
Zhongli seemed taken aback by Kaeya's outburst, but at least had the decency to look
regretful. It was not like he could blame him for wondering. Rich people seldom wanted to
put themselves in the shoes of those less fortunate. Kaeya knew. He'd grown up with them.
Hell, he'd been one of them.
"I apologise," Zhongli looked like he wanted to come closer, to placate him, but he didn't. "I
didn't mean to insult your home. So far as I can tell, you keep it clean and tidy, you obviously
do your best to make do with what you have. It was rude and unnecessary of me to judge."
"I accept your apology," Kaeya said, Moving aside to let them walk around more freely. "Just
don't go into my room. That's my space."
"I don't understand," Ajax stepped further into the house, his gaze curious but at the same
time somewhat enraged. "Omegas are rare, aren't they? They're precious. They should be
cared for, protected. This is-" Ajax opened his fridge and stared. "Empty."
"It broke a few weeks ago. I usually just buy quick meals from the convenience store. They
make some good fruity chicken skewers. It's amazing,"
"Kaeya, please don't take this the wrong way, but this place isn't safe for you," Zhongli told
him, finally deciding to approach, albeit slowly. "Pregnancy isn't easy. If you truly want to go
through with it, can you imagine yourself heavy with child and pushing that door downstairs?
Climbing those stairs without being able to look at the floor? Climbing on a stool to turn on a
light? If something happens, it's not only you who gets hurt, but it could harm the baby as
well."
"It's not like I have an alternative," he said, shrugging. "I've been on my own for a long time.
I know how to survive."
"But you don't have to be on your own," Ajax commented as he turned a book around in his
hands. "You can read Snezhnayan?"
"Mn, I can," Kaeya sighed, flopping down on the couch. "I have Mona. The girl downstairs.
She'll help me if I need it."
"We can help, too, though. We are the kid's parents. It's our duty to take care of you, to make
sure you're safe and well taken care of," Ajax told him as he gently placed the book down
again. He closed the distance between them, but stopped when Zhongli held his hand to keep
him from crowding Kaeya too much. "Stay with us."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"I think that is a good idea, too. We have more than enough room in the penthouse to
accommodate you. We'd be able to attend to your needs in a speedy manner should you need
anything, and you wouldn't have to do much around the house. Staff comes by every two
days to clean, Ajax cooks the best homemade meals I've ever had-"
"Absolutely not," Kaeya laughed, crossing his legs. "Remember what I said about not
wanting to be anyone's breeding bitch? Surprisingly enough, that still stands. Let me guess,
I'd only have to be available for you when you requested a nice tight omega to spice up your
dull sex life? No thank you."
They stared at Kaeya like he had grown an extra head. Maybe he had. Ajax looked like he
was on the verge of tears, for some reason. Kaeya didn't know how to deal with his own
emotions, let alone someone else's.
"What have these alphas done to their omegas, Li?" Ajax demanded hands curled into fists
like he was ready to start a fight. "Is this what it's like for them in the rest of Teyvat? Because
if so, then Teucer and Tonia will never leave Snezhnaya. I swear."
"It's not that deep," Kaeya tugged at a loose thread on his leggings. "Life just sucks for some
people. It is what it is."
Zhongli shook his head, his hair waving like silk along his back. "You'd be carrying our
child," he said, taking a seat next to Kaeya on the couch, but still keeping his distance. "Do
you think that's not enough for us to give you a safe space to live in? You'd have your own
apartment in the penthouse. Ajax's family usually stays there when they visit. You wouldn't
even need to spend time with us if you didn't want to. I don't think you truly understand what
this means to us. Ajax comes from a large family. He has six siblings double the cousins, and
almost as many nephews and nieces, it's a chaos he misses constantly. And I never really had
a family, and Archons, I desperately want one. But we're both Alpha. We can't do it without
you, Kaeya."
Ajax stood next to Zhongli, his hand resting on his shoulder in what Kaeya assumed to be a
comforting gesture. He wouldn't know. It's been a long time since someone had touched him
that kindly.
"We just want to take care of you and our baby, that's all," Ajax said. "Please consider our
offer. If you hate it, we'll rent an apartment for you, somewhere close enough that we can
assist you if you need us, but far enough to give you all the privacy you require."
"We'd like an answer by the time the insemination happens," Zhongli added, standing up.
"That way we can properly prepare for you. In the meantime we'll take our leave. Ajax still
has to pack for his trip tomorrow."
Kaeya looked down and focused on the drop of sweat running down the valley of his spine.
He wasn't sure what to think, but he had a lot of thinking to do.
What would Diluc say? Probably that Kaeya was being an embarrassment to the family, by
playing rent-a-mother for a couple strangers. Except, he wasn't part of the family anymore.
He'd dropped the Ragnvindr name the night he left the manor, five years ago.
The front door closed, and Kaeya hid his face in his hands, feeling suddenly drained of
energy, his heart racing in his chest.
Ah. He missed being hugged.
What it's like to fly
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"That's it?" Kaeya asked, looking at Doctor Jean from between his legs.
"That's it," She told him with a smile. "You might experience some bloating or mild bleeding,
but if it gets serious contact us immediately."
Kaeya frowned, looking at the screen where he'd just witnessed the insemination take place.
It hadn't felt uncomfortable, but it wasn't an experience that he'd want to repeat very soon.
Still, beat being bred by two alphas he didn't know all that well.
It's been weeks since Zhongli and Ajax visited his poor excuse for a house. During that time,
Kaeya had gone through several tests to make sure he was healthy enough to go through with
the surrogacy, countless hormone treatments to increase egg production, medication for some
other stuff he wasn't entirely sure of, and now, finally, the process was over. Hopefully.
Zhongli had insisted in driving him to and from the clinic. He'd said that it was his duty to be
there for Kaeya, no matter what the results would be. Honestly they weren't expecting to get
pregnant on the first try, so Kaeya was more or less prepared to have to repeat the process in
another few weeks.
Ajax had returned from his trip to Liyue for a couple of weeks before leaving again, this time
to attend to an urgent family matter with one of his younger siblings in Snezhnaya, so he
hadn't been present for over half the process. Still, he always made sure to call Kaeya and ask
him directly how everything had been going and how he was feeling, which Kaeya
appreciated.
The more time he spent with the couple, the more he realised just how important this child
was for them. It felt like a massive responsibility, to be the one to hold onto something so
precious for parents that were so thrilled to have a little one to love and to protect. He'd made
the right decision. He knew that. But still, something felt a little off kilter within himself.
Kaeya wasn't sure what yet, so he brushed it aside for now.
"Do I just... Go?" Kaeya watched Doctor Jean take off her gloves and discarding them in the
biohazard bin. "Or do I have to lay here. It won't fall off, right?"
She smiled at him, not unkindly. "No the embryo won't fall off. It is secure in your uterus.
You are free to go. Just remember to stay away from home pregnancy tests and come by in
twelve to fourteen days to do a proper blood test," Doctor Jean told him as she helped him up
off the exam chair before he could get dressed again. "How are you feeling?"
"I don't know," He confessed lifting his shirt to look at his stomach, flat and toned as it had
been that same morning. "Am I really pregnant?"
"Hopefully," she said patting his shoulder. "Again, read the pamphlet I gave you and follow
the instructions. If you experience any discomfort or side effects, or if you have any
questions, contact us and we'll do our best to help you. Our paramount concern is your
health."
Kaeya nodded, lowering his shirt again and reaching for his coat" Thank you, Doctor Jean,"
he told her, shaking her hand. "I guess I will see you in a couple of weeks?"
"Take good care of yourself, Kaeya."
He left the exam room, feeling no different than he'd felt going in. Except everything was
probably different. A pregnant girl smiled at him as she walked by, her stomach big and
round and she was walking carefully like she couldn't quite see the ground, which he
supposed she couldn't given the size of her.
One day it would be his turn to walk like that, waddling around while carrying the extra
weight on the front of his body. His balance would be askew, his dancing would probably
have to be put on hold until after the baby was born. His life wouldn't be the same, would it?
Zhongli stood up when he saw Kaeya, and turned his phone to show Ajax's face on the
screen.
"Hey, how did it go?" the redhead asked.
"You feeling all right?" Zhongli helped Kaeya into his jacket with his free hand. "Was it
painful?"
"No. It was a little uncomfortable, but it was over quickly," Kaeya turned his attention to
Ajax. "How's your little brother?"
"Hanging in there. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you today, Kaeya. Everything's a mess,"
Ajax sighed, running a hand through his tousled hair, messing it up even further. He looked a
little more relaxed dressed in casual clothing, a simple white t-shirt and lightwash jeans. He
looked handsome like that. "Zhongli will take care of you, though. You couldn't be in better
hands."
"Good luck with your brother. I hope he gets all better soon," Kaeya waved. He meant it, too.
Kaeya might not be ready for the responsibilities of parenthood, but he liked kids. They were
honest and easy to please. All one had to do was to talk to them like they were people, to
validate their feelings no matter how outlandish they might sound to an adult.
Ajax waved back at him and then ended the video call after saying goodbye to his husband.
Zhongli slid the phone into the inner pocket of his suit jacket and turned to Kaeya.
"Do you know when we'll get the definitive results?"
"Doctor Jean said to come back in a couple of weeks to do a blood test. So now we wait,"
Kaeya pursed his lips, shifting from one foot to the other. "Until then we just live life."
"Sounds like a plan," Zhongli slid his hand into the pockets of his trousers and pulled out his
car key. "Say, Kaeya, would you let me take you out for a meal today? It's been a stressful
few weeks up to this point, especially for you. I'd like to treat you to something nice. As a
thank you for what you've been doing."
The invitation was something Kaeya had not been expecting, but he'd noticed that was sort of
the norm with Zhongli and Ajax. They were able to surprise him with the simplest of words.
It had started that first day when they had their little meet and greet. Kaeya hadn't been
expecting them to be as open and unperturbed with their relationship as they were. And every
day since then, when he received a good morning text or a gentle reminder to keep hydrated
and eat well, it still surprised him.
It was... nice, to feel cared for. It had been a long time since anyone bothered with him.
Kaeya wasn't used to it, but he wasn't opposed to it either.
"A meal sounds lovely, thank you."
Zhongli drove him around Mondstadt for a while, insisting that he wasn't lost both times
Kaeya asked. Then he parked in front of a nondescript building, the brick facade sporting a
fair collection of street art that looked old and faded. Kaeya worried for a moment that
Zhongli was going to kidnap him and sell his organs. Then a young woman burst out of the
front door with a massive smile on her face.
"Mister Zhongli! You really came!"
"I promised I would, Xiangling," he smiled, wraping his arms around her when she jumped at
him to hug him. "I brought a friend. This is Kaeya. I figured you'd appreciate his opinion on
your cooking."
The girl turned to him and wiped her hands on her apron to shake his hand. "Hi there! My
name is Xiangling, I'm training to be a chef!"
"Xiangling is the daughter of a very old friend of mine. She studied under him for years, and
now she's studying new flavours, starting in Mondstadt."
"Mhm! Inazuma next, I think. Or maybe Natlan. Nobody makes spicy food like them,"
Xiangling moved inside the building, guiding them towards a small loft apartment that
smelled heavily of spices and grilled meat.
Kaeya's stomach rumbled.
On a small table by the opposite wall, was a sizeable spread of small dishes, three bowls of
rice and a nice bottle of dandelion wine. Kaeya recognised the Dawn Winery lable
immediately, and a gentle stab of longing spread through his chest.
"Come in. Sit!" She motioned to the mismatched chairs. "Is Childe not coming today?"
"Childe?" Kaeya asked.
"Ajax," Zhongli clarified. "No. He had to go back to Snezhnaya for a while."
Xiangling's smile dropped a little. "Teucer again?"
Zhongli nodded and reached for the bottle of wine. "He's doing better now. He should go
home by the end of the month."
"Ah, that's a relief," she picked up a frying pan, the sizzling sound reaching Kaeya's ears like
a tantalising sirensong. "Here we are! My rendition of Mondstadt's Sweet Madame, with a
little touch of home. I hope you enjoy it!"
Xiangling sat down on the last available bench and started serving their dishes. It smelled so
good Kaeya could almost taste it in his nose alone. Stars, this girl had talent. He picked up his
chopsticks and moved the meat around the rice coating it with its juices.
"Ah, you can use those," Xiangling commented, smiling.
Kaeya looked down at his hand, then back up. "It's not that hard, is it?"
"Ajax... Can't," Zhongli chuckled, pouring the wine into his cup. "He tried, but it remains the
one skill he can't get right."
For some reason, Kaeya found that incredibly endearing. He didn't know Ajax well at all, but
he could swear that everything the man touched turned to gold. He was quite possibly one of
the most talented people he knew, especially in the art of business. Much like a shark, people
seemed to sense his presence and keep their distance, and still they couldn't help but look.
To have that sort of power, and not be able to eat with what was essentially a pair of sticks
was probably the most adorable thing Kaeya could have heard that day.
"You don't look like you're from Liyue," Xiangling said, turning her attention to him. "How
did you meet?"
"I was raised here in Mond," Kaeya told her, placing his hand over his glass when Zhongli
started to serve him the delicious sweet wine. "I shouldn't drink alcohol, right?"
Eyes wide, Zhongli nodded, and set the bottle down, before pouring him some tea instead.
Kaeya hadn't even noticed the tiny pot there.
"Kaeya is our surrogate," Zhongli told Xiangling. "Please feed him well today. He might be
carrying precious cargo."
Kaeya was mesmerised by how elegantly Zhongli did everything. The way he picked his
chopsticks, his fingers long and almost delicate, the beautiful golden band that circled his
ring finger, the trimmed nails. He shoved a massive piece of meat on his mouth to distract
himself from the thoughts that had started to scratch the edges of his imagination.
The food was delicious. The familiar taste of the sweet madame was enhanced by the salty
tang of the soy sauce, and the bitter aftertaste of the spring onion. Something about
Xiangling's cooking felt a lot like home. Diluc once mentioned that Adelinde's food was his
comfort food, something that made him feel right at home, safe and cared for. Personally
Kaeya had always thought it was a little bland.
But this? This was heavenly.
"You're really quiet, Mister Kaeya," she commented, her cheeks red. "Do you not like it?"
"Nothing like that. I'm savouring it. It's quite possibly the best food I've had in years,
Xiangling. You're so talented," he smiled, taking another bite of his gooey rice. "The flavours
are perfectly balanced, the textures work perfectly together. It feels like a hug in a bowl."
That seemed to have made her happy, because she immediately filled his bowl again with
more meat and more rice. "Eat it well, then! I have plenty of food to share! Anytime you
want a bowl-hug just come find me!"
By the time Xiangling started to clear up the table, Kaeya was so full he could hardly move.
He'd always been svelte, his mother's genetics if he remembered correctly, so the swell of his
stomach was hard to hide beneath the shirt he'd been wearing.
"I don't know about a human baby, but my food baby is going to give me trouble for the next
couple of hours," He said, sliding down the chair just a little. "I ate so much I can't even
fathom getting up."
"I might have overdone it. It's just... I don't get many visitors now that I'm in Mondstadt, and
sharing my food is what makes me happy!"
"Xiangling, have you had no visitors since you moved here?" Asked Zhongli, before taking a
sip of his wine.
"Xingqiu and Chongyun stayed over for a few days during Xingqiu's book tour but they
returned to Liyue a couple of weeks ago. My dad is coming to visit in a month or so! I can't
wait to be with him again!
"Then I might have to bring Kaeya back then. I'm sure he will be more than happy to eat your
food again."
"Can we please stop talking about food? I'm about to burst here."
Kaeya asked for Xiangling's number before they left, and promised to return soon. He was
still full, but already looking forward to bringing Mona and Fischl here, maybe even suggest
it to Eula and Amber. It wasn't a fancy restaurant. It wasn't a restaurant at all. But the food
was so good it was criminal not to share this girl's talent with the world.
"Would you like to take a walk with me?" Zhongli asked as they settled in the car. "It might
help with your food baby situation."
Kaeya had been nervous most of the day, for obvious reasons. But Zhongli had been nothing
but a gentleman to him, caring and gentle, going out of his way to help Kaeya relax and to
make him feel comfortable. In that moment Kaeya felt like he was missing out. A small,
persistent part of him decided that it wanted that. It wanted someone to take care of him, to
make him feel safe, but permanently. Then he forced those thoughts away, because those
thoughts were dangerous. He couldn't handle wanting more than he could have. Not again.
"A walk actually sounds nice. Where were you thinking?"
"Starsnatch Cliff? I haven't been there, and a friend told me it's quite beautiful," Zhongli
suggested.
"It is," Kaeya smiled, leaning his head back on his seat and looking out of the window as they
drove away. "When you reach the tip of the cliff and open your eyes, it's like you're flying.
The sky is endless, the sea a blanket of stillness that stretches out forever. It's gorgeous.
Especially at sundown."
Zhongli was quiet for a moment, listening to Kaeya's words like he cared about what he was
saying. That was the thing about Zhongli. He could talk anyone's ear off if he wanted to. But
when he didn't talk, he knew how to listen, how to look genuinely interested. It was
validating in a way Kaeya hadn't known he'd needed. Diluc certainly never made the effort.
"Do you go there often?" Zhongli asked.
"I used to," Kaeya told him. "When I was a kid, me and my-" he hesitated, and looked down
at his hands. If he focused hard enough he could still picture Dulic's wrapped around his as
they ran up the cliff, past the temple ruins, straight towards the sky. "My big brother and I
would often race to the top. I never manage to win against him, but it still felt amazing."
"I didn't know you had a brother."
And if Kaeya had been more careful in his little stroll down memory lane, Zhongli still
wouldn't have known about him. Kaeya liked to keep his life private, but something about the
man loosened his lips. He often found himself saying things he would rather not share.
Maybe he was becoming a little too comfortable.
Kaeya didn't elaborate after that, and Zhongli respected his silence. The day was coming to
an end and the sun was beginning to lower itself in the horizon. They drove for a few more
minutes, the silence idly comfortable, before they arrived at entrance of Starsnatch Trail.
They found a parking slot and started their climb up the tall cliff.
Despite the Summer breeze, the weather was finally beginning to settle into something
bearable. For the first time since the heatwave, Kaeya was able to breathe without feeling like
he was inhaling soup. So the climb was fairly comfortable, Kaeya in the lead, treading
through paths he could walk with his eyes closed, and Zhongli not far behind, appreciating
the sounds of Nature and the fresh air.
He'd been right, Zhongli. Kaeya did feel better as they hiked, his stomach didn't feel as full
and uncomfortable, and his body rejoiced in the activity. He hadn't danced in a couple of
days, and that usually left him restless. This, though, was pleasant.
The wind kicked up and untied the string holding Kaeya's hair (courtesy of Mona stealing all
his hairbands and never giving them back, the little witch), and his hair waved loose in the
wind, getting everywhere it was not supposed to be in, mainly his eyes and mouth. He tried to
grab a hold of it until the breeze settled and when it did he attempted to weave it into a braid
to at least get it out of his face.
"Do you need help?" Zhongli offered, brushing a rebel strand of Kaeya's hair away from his
face. "I have extra hairbands."
"Thank you," he finished his braid and tied one of Zhongli's hair ties at the tip to keep it in
place.
"Hold still," Zhongli said, and Kaeya swore that for those three seconds he wasn't even
breathing. Zhongli was impossibly close, his eyes scanning Kaeya's face as he did something
to his hair before stepping back. "Ah! It suits you!"
Gingerly, he reached up to touch his hair, only to brush his fingers against something soft and
velvety. Then he looked at Zhongli's hands where he was holding a flower, white and
delicate.
"This one's for Ajax. He keeps a journal with pressed flowers he finds in our journeys to
show his siblings when they visit," he explained. "We don't have these in Liyue. Do you
know what they are?"
Kaeya blinked at the flower, and nodded. "Cecilias only grow in Starsnatch Cliff. It's said that
when someone tries to take one away, it dies immediately. Of course that's not true, they're
often gifted as Windblumes, during our spring celebrations, and they can live quite a long
time if we put them in water mixed with a bit of lemon soda. But try as people might, they
won't grow in any other soil than here. Come. We're almost at the top."
The sky was starting to turn a gentle shade of pink and orange, the sun slowly descending
beyond the sea line. When they reached the peak, Kaeya stepped forward until he was at the
very top of the cliff, closed his eyes, spread his arms and breathed in deeply.
When he opened his eyes again the sensation he'd felt so often as a child came rushing back
like a punch to the stomach. He was ten all over again, and feeling like he'd never known
what freedom really was until there was nothing but sea and sky in the horizon. Even now,
when he was living his life the way he wanted, he didn't really feel free. There were too many
binds keeping him from soaring to new heights.
He felt Zhongli's presence behind him and lowered his arms, before stepping away from the
edge.
"Come," Kaeya invited him, holding out his hand. "Let me show you what it's like to fly."
Zhongli seemed amused, but he humoured Kaeya all the same, trusting him enough to allow
him to bring him up to the edge and closing his eyes when he asked him to. Carefully, Kaeya
helped Zhongli spread out his arms, and finally he stepped back.
"Okay. Open your eyes."
The breeze picked up again, Zhongli's long ponytail ruffled by the winds. Kaeya wished he
could see the man's face in that moment, but the cliff's edge was unfortunately too small for
two.
"What do you see?"
"Everything," Zhongli replied, stepping back. "You're right. It's like I'm flying! I have to
return here with Ajax. He'll love this."
"It's a pretty famous dating spot, too," Kaeya informed him, looking out at the colour brushed
across the sky. "I'm sure you'll make beautiful memories together."
"Thank you for showing me, Kaeya."
He wasn't sure what it was, but Kaeya liked the way Zhongli said his name. Maybe it was
because his voice was so deep and gentle, or maybe it was the manner in which he spoke, like
every word had a meaning and he refused to waste his words on what didn't matter. It made it
that more special.
"Have you thought about our proposal?" Zhongli asked, carefully sliding the delicate flower
into the pocket of his suit jacket. "About living with us during your pregnancy?"
Yes. Yes he'd thought about it. In fact he'd thought about little else since they talked about it
so many weeks ago. He still thought the offer was far too generous, but again, he was going
to be making a whole human being for them. If the least they could do to ease the process
was to give him proper living conditions and a table full of good food, then Kaeya would
truly be daft not to take the offer.
"I agree to move in under one condition."
"Name it," Zhongli said, no hesitation, just pure determination.
"No one, and I do mean no one, is allowed to go into my room unless I give explicit
permission or if I'm in danger. Once I settle in and start to nest, that place is my sanctuary, my
safe haven. Foreign scents can send me into an anxiety spiral and I would rather not have to
deal with that while I'm pregnant. It's not going to be pleasant for me, it's not going to be
pleasant for your baby, it's not going to be pleasant for anyone, really. So give me that, and
I'll move in."
Zhongli blinked at Kaeya, absorbing the words like a sponge, his expression betraying his
confusion. Still, he nodded, hands sliding into the pockets of his trousers.
"That's a very simple request. I thought it was common knowledge that Omega nests were off
limits to anyone outside if their inner circle," Zhongli mused. "You have my word that we
will respect your boundaries. We'll also let the staff know that you'll be calling the shots on
the maintenance of your bedroom. I'm sure they'll be more than glad to accommodate your
needs."
"Okay, then. I guess I'll start packing," Kaeya sighed, feeling like a huge weight had been
lifted off his shoulders.
They'd been right. If Kaeya had tried to brave the pregnancy on his own while living in an
apartment that was virtually falling apart, he would probably stress himself out so much he'd
be doing more harm than good. He had to think about more than just himself, and strip the
cloak of stubbornness he'd worn with so much pride in the past.
Besides, not having to clean after himself sounded like a dream come true.
"Lets go back," Kaeya said, starting their trek down. "It's getting dark, and hiking at night is
the kind of reckless stuff I should not be doing."
Chapter End Notes
I hope you liked it! 😊
I'm almost done writing this behemoth, but there are some parts I'm still not entirely
happy with. Updates might become slightly slower as I comb through the next chapters
and edit them.
Magical Girls
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Ajax was pacing a hole in the waiting room. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth.
Over and again. Every so often, he'd card his fingers through his tousled hair, sigh in
exasperation and resume his pacing.
Kaeya followed him with his eyes, but it was getting harder not to yell at him to just sit still
for the love of everything that was dear.
Zhongli was faring better. He leaned back against his chair, flipping through the pages of an
old magazine and reading the articles that caught his interest. Every now and then, his eyes
would flicker up to follow his husband, before they focused back on a gossip article.
"I don't know how you can be so calm," Ajax said, stopping in his place to briefly look at his
husband and Kaeya. And then, because the man couldn't stand still for more than a breath, he
jumped twice in place and started pacing again, his fingers in his mouth as he bit his nails.
"What if it's negative?"
"Then we try again," Said Kaeya, feeling oddly relaxed. He had half convinced himself that
he wasn't pregnant yet. Why that was, he didn't know. Maybe denial. Maybe he didn't want to
face the hassle of moving to Liyue for the next few months. Maybe he wasn't as ready to do it
as he'd thought he was.
"What if it never works? What if Zhongli's swimmers aren't strong enough? What if they're
too strong? What if-"
"Ajax, you'll give yourself an aneurism, come sit down, love, you're stressing Kaeya out,"
Zhongli captured Ajax's hand in his and gently coaxed him to sit down. "I assure you my
swimmers are Celestia-grade. Doctor Jean said so herself."
"I just... I really want this baby, Li," Ajax sighed, lying his head on Zhongli's shoulder, his
hand finding his husband's and squeezing him tight. "I want them so much it makes me sick."
"We'll have this baby. If it doesn't work today, we'll try again, for as long as Kaeya is willing
to try, and after that, too, if we ever find another surrogate."
"I don't want another. Kaeya is the only surrogate I want. He's perfect." Ajax frowned, hiding
a yawn in Zhongli's shoulder. "I'm so tired."
Kaeya would have felt flattered, if the pressure wasn't so suffocating. He knew it would
work, eventually. Even if it didn't at first, then definitely at some point. After hearing all the
stories about Ajax and his siblings, Kaeya knew that no one deserved a big family more than
him. He was intense and intimidating at times, but deep down, he was a family man who
cherished those he loved with all his heart. Ajax was a walking paradox, and not for the first
time, Kaeya thought that it was rather charming.
He'd arrived that morning from Snezhnaya, after his little brother was finally released from
the hospital two nights before, so he was still suffering from the unforgiving effects of jet lag.
They'd held off the confirmation exams for as long as they could so Ajax could be present at
the time of the results, which meant a lot to the couple but also to Kaeya. Where he'd once
been hesitant about giving a child to those two to love and cherish, he now wanted nothing
more than to help their family grow.
After a few minutes of relative silence, Barbara walked into the waiting room, a lovely smile
on her face as she called them in to meet Doctor Jean. Ajax all but jumped to his feet, looking
a little wild, a little disoriented, and and as he rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands,
Kaeya realised he'd dozed off for a moment.
The trio made the now familiar trip to the doctor's office. They sat in silence as they waited
for her to show up, Ajax's leg bouncing continuously until Zhongli gently lay a hand over his
thigh to quiet him.
Kaeya felt a little more nervous now that they were there, seconds away from knowing if the
IVF had worked, or if they'd have to go through the whole process again. Part of him hoped it
had failed. Pregnancy was such a big change, such a huge responsibility, especially if he was
carrying someone else's baby. But then, the hopeful look in Zhongli's eyes when Doctor Jean
entered the room, the nervousness that was practically exuding from Ajax. They wanted a
family so bad. And they had chosen Kaeya, of all people. How could he hope for anything
else, but the success of their endeavour? How could he wish to prolong their longing?
A small secret smile curled Kaeya's lips upwards.
"Good afternoon!" Doctor Jean greeted them with a smile. Kaeya noticed the dark circles
under her eyes and wondered if she was having enough rest. "I bring news with me!"
Zhongli sat a little straighter, now, his attention fully on the doctor. It seemed like the nerves
were finally catching up to him, too.
"Please don't drag this on. The suspense is going to kill me," Ajax groaned. Kaeya could
guess he was making a conscious effort not to pull at his hair, but he'd done little else during
their wait. It was, clearly, a failed endeavour.
"Don't worry. This isn't a game show. It's in no one's interest to prolong the suspense," Doctor
Jean said as she scanned the documents on the manila folder in front of her. Her expression
betrayed nothing, for a moment. Then with a broad smile she faced them again. "Well, I
believe congratulations are in order."
"Do you mean...?"
"The insemination was a success. Kaeya, you are pregnant."
Kaeya nodded, not really sure what his reaction should be. Was he happy? He supposed so.
Not for himself, though. But seeing the way Ajax had collapsed onto his husband, like a
puppet whose strings had been suddenly cut loose, to see the stream of tears running down
his freckled cheeks, or the way Zhongli smiled as he whispered sweetly against the top of
Ajax's hair... That, Kaeya thought, that made it worth it.
"We did it, Li," Ajax was whispering against his husband's collarbones. "We did it."
"Mn, we did," Zhongli whispered back. If there were tears glimmering in the corners of his
eyes, Kaeya would politely pretend he hadn't seen them. This was their moment. Their dream
come true. "Finally."
It was something so tender, so raw, it made Kaeya feel like he was intruding on something
incredibly private. Like he wasn't the one currently housing the child they were celebrating.
Like he was an extra piece to a puzzle that was already complete.
The couple pulled apart for long enough to hold Kaeya's hands, one each, and offer him a
grateful squeeze. Ajax tried to speak, to say something intelligible, but emotion was thick in
his throat, and the words weren't coming out. Zhongli wasn't doing much better, something so
deep and intense in his eyes it made Kaeya blush. He had to look away.
Fortunately, Doctor Jean spoke again, saving them from their emotional stupor.
"Now, it is of my understanding that you're planning to move to Liyue for the duration of the
pregnancy, is that correct?"
Kaeya nodded, glad to be able to focus on something less sentimental, something a little
more objective. "Yes. I believe it's going to be beneficial for both the parents and the baby if
they're a part of the gestation process. I read that strong familial bonds often start in the
womb."
"And you'd be correct," Doctor Jean nodded, typing something on her keyboard. "In that case
you'll likely be seen by a local obstetrician. It will be beneficial to you if your doctor
specialises in Omega male pregnancies. That way you'll get the best support you can for the
healthy development of the foetus, as well as proper care for your own health. We've talked
about this during your examinations, but your build is very slender and that can become a
little bump in the road during your pregnancy."
"We have already contacted a specialist to oversee Kaeya's pregnancy," Zhongli informed
them as he pulled out his wallet and slid a business card towards Doctor Jean. He seemed to
have sobered up a little, but he still glanced at Kaeya like he held the moon in his hands. In a
way, he supposed he did. "His name is Doctor Baizhu," he said, now focusing entirely on
him. "He, too, is an omega. I tried to find someone of your rank in an attempt to make you
more comfortable. Of course if you don't like his conduct, we will procure someone else
immediately."
That wasn't as unexpected as Kaeya would have thought. Zhongli had always insisted in
putting Kaeya's comfort first and foremost. From the very first time they've met, he'd
respected boundaries Kaeya hadn't felt the need to impose. Boundaries he hadn't even known
he had. If anything it made him trust the couple more.
"I appreciate that," he said with a nod. "Thank you for always making sure I'm comfortable.
It means a lot."
"It's the absolute bare minimum, Kaeya. If we couldn't do that little for you, then I wouldn't
trust a child to our care."
The small flutter in his chest was quickly snuffed and burned to ashes. Kaeya didn't need any
more feelings to be added to the mixture, good or bad. He still had to process the fact that
there was a human being growing inside him. The fact that people could do that was still
quite insane to him.
There was a gentle touch at his elbow and he looked up to meet Ajax's bright blue eyes. "Are
you all right?"
He considered lying, maybe even laugh about it, dismiss Ajax's worries and say that he was
just fine, of course he was fine, why wouldn't he be fine? But he wasn't sure if he was fine,
and the least he could do was to be honest with them. Lying wouldn't do him any good. So he
shrugged, met Ajax's eyes and said,
"I honestly don't know."
There was a brief moment of hesitation before Ajax's fingers intertwined with his, his touch
warm and light, as though giving him the option of backing off should he want to.
"It's a lot to take in, but we'll do everything in our power to make this experience the easiest it
can be for you," Ajax said, smiling. It was fascinating how young he looked when he smiled
like that. Just how old was he again? "If only you truly knew how much you're doing for us. I
wish I was a more talented wordsmith so I could properly express how happy I am right
now."
Kaeya pursed his lips, and gently pulled his hand back from Ajax's hold. "Please don't get
sappy with me. I don't know how to deal with that," he said, a healthy dose of exasperation
bleeding into the words. Something light to lift up the tendrils of gloom that threatened to
settle around them.
Zhongli stood up, then, and pulled Ajax up with him. "He needs a full night's sleep and a
good hefty breakfast. He gets sentimental when he's tired," he announced. "Doctor Jean, I
cannot express how thankful we are for your help. Maybe in the future we'll meet each other
again, should we decide to make another new addition to the family."
"I will be here to support you again. It has been a pleasure to work with you," she said,
standing up so she could shake his hand. "Truly, I wish you all the best of luck, and my
sincere congratulations on this new chapter. I will make sure to contact Doctor Baizhu to
transfer Kaeya's files and medical records to facilitate the transition."
Kaeya thanked her, feeling much like a little bird on the edge of its nest, ready to take flight
for the first time. He liked Doctor Jean, but she was a fertilisation expert, not an obstetrician.
No matter where he was, he would always have to be seen by another doctor.
Eventually they said their goodbyes, and left the clinic for the last time. Barbara had followed
them all the way to the exit, congratulating the happy couple and even giving Kaeya a small
basket with prenatal vitamins as a thank you for his generosity.
It made him feel like a fraud. Kaeya wasn't generous. He was desperate to make some money
so he could finally invest in himself and his career. That wasn't generosity. That was
selfishness at his finest. Still, he graciously took the basket and followed Ajax and Zhongli
out the door and into the summer afternoon.
He had barely stepped outside when a voice pieced the quiet afternoon.
"Big brother Kaeya!"
The voice was small, young and familiar. He looked up from the little basket in his hands and
had only time to drop it on the floor before the little girl threw herself at him.
"Klee!" he laughed, easily holding her up in his arms and planting a loud kiss on her pink
cheek. "What are you doing here?"
"I was very bored, so I went to visit Albedo at the studio, but he's with a client and can't play
right now. So I was coming to see if Diona wanted to play. She moved with her mama to that
pink house over there, you see. Then I saw a dog, and I tried to pet it, but I then I saw you!"
she giggled, smushing his face between her small hands. "I missed you so much!"
"I missed you, too, bunny," Kaeya set her back down and helped her fix her pigtails. "How's
Albedo?"
Klee shrugged. "He says he's fine, but I know he's pushing himself again. He's been working
a lot since Timaeus got sick. I think he misses you, though. He won't say anything because
boys are big dummies, but I know he misses you. He still wears the hair clip you gave him
for his birthday."
Someone cleared their throat behind him, and he turned around to face Zhongli and a very
sleepy-looking Ajax. Kaeya smiled and tugged Klee's hand to bring her closer to the pair. He
watched with mild amusement as Klee's eyes widened with awe. Yeah. Kaeya felt like that,
too, when he looked at them.
"Hey, bunny, meet my friends. Zhongli and Ajax," Kaeya said, before turning to the duo.
"This is Klee. She's my friend's little sister."
"You really like red, huh?" Ajax asked, lowering himself into a crouch and holding up his
hand so she could high-five him. "Your dress is really cool."
Delighted, Klee smacked her hand on his and then twirled around. "Big sister Sucrose sewed
it for me. She is Albedo's girlfriend, you know?"
"Oh wow! She's really talented. Think she could make me a dress too?" Ajax asked standing
up so he, too could twirl in his shirt and jeans. He looked adorably ridiculous.
"You're so silly!" Klee laughed, her cheeks flushed with amusement. "Oh, I know! Maybe if
we asked, she could make you a matching one!"
"That sounds like something I would
love to see," Zhongli piped. "Could I have one in orange? It matches my earring."
"I'll get one in blue," Kaeya added, entertaining for a second the image of all four of them
dressed in matching dresses.
"We'd be like the magical girls on television, and we'd fight all the bad guys with my massive
Dodoco bombs!" Klee struck a pose, powerful and adorable. Kaeya loved her so much. "We'd
all have really cool powers."
"Powers? You mean, like magic? What would mine be?" Asked Zhongli, finger tapping his
lips pensively.
Klee pursed her lips. "Hm, you'd drop a massive rock on their heads, and they'd all be super
petrified! Like statues! And you," she pointed her finger at Ajax, "would fight with these
really cool water blades, and go ZOOM! and BAM! Oh! And then- And then Kaeya would
freeze the bad guys with these super pretty icicles and POW! My Dodoco bombs would blow
their faces right off and it would be the awesomest!"
Kaeya hugged her tight. He wanted to protect his little murderous bunny with all his heart
and soul. "You're a menace, and I love you," he released her and stood back up. "But we have
to get going, now, okay? I promise I'll come visit you soon and play with you again. I've just
been really busy, but I'll try to make the time. It has been far too long."
"Mkay!" She giggled again, latching onto his leg to give him another quick hug. "I'll tell big
brother Albedo to cook your most favourite! Bye bye Kaeya! Bye bye big brother Ajax! Bye
bye big brother Zhongli! I'm going to play with Diona, now!"
And like a hurricane, she disappeared as quick as she'd arrived, running down the street with
her little backpack. Kaeya had missed her far more than he realised. Ever since he'd moved
out on his own, he and Albedo had drifted apart. If someone asked, Kaeya would still say that
he was his close friend, but truth was they haven't really talked in months.
Kaeya let out a small sigh, and bent down to pick up his little basket of vitamins. "Sorry
about that."
"Don't apologise. She's the cutest kid. Water blades? Yes please. Imagine how cool I'd look
fighting in a red dress and slicing enemies with water blades!" Ajax grinned as they made
their way towards the car.
"That sounds like effort. Dropping meteorites on people's heads? Now that's a low-energy
cost skill," Argued Zhongli, looking far too smug .
Of course, that sent Ajax into an in-depth argument about how uncool it was to just stand
there and make it rain rocks, while Zhongli countered by saying that flashy didn't always
mean powerful. Kaeya let their banter wash over him, while subconsciously his hand found
its way to his flat stomach.
Unwittingly, Klee had been like a breath of fresh air. Some of the worries, the tension he'd
felt after their appointment had been like a slow grip around his throat. Kaeya wasn't sure
how to explain it any other way. He just knew that learning about his pregnancy had made his
situation more real, and the responsibility now lying on his shoulders was ten times more
suffocating. He had to do this right. All his life he'd ruined everything he touched, but not this
time. This time he was going to do things right. He had to.
If anything to prove to himself that he wasn't cursed, that he was capable of doing something
good.
"Kaeya," Zhongli called him. "Is everything all right? You've been awfully quiet."
His fingers tightened around the handle of the little basket. "I'm processing everything," he
said, offering Zhongli a small smile. "I still can't quite believe I'm doing this, yet. That I'd
ever do something like this. It feels a little surreal."
"Do you regret it?" Zhongli asked, carefully.
But Kaeya shook his head, his smile becoming more genuine. "Not at all. I want to do this. I
need to do this."
Zhongli mirrored Kaeya's smile and, like the gentleman he was, he opened the door for
Kaeya to climb into the car. He noticed with some amusement that Ajax had fallen asleep as
soon as he buckled his seat belt, and a small, nurturing part of him wanted to tuck him in and
make sure he was comfortable.
Zhongli dropped him off at home, and got out of the car to help Kaeya open the door to his
building.
"Now that we've obtained a positive result, we should start thinking about returning to Liyue.
I don't mean to rush you, but-"
"When are you thinking of leaving?" Kaeya asked. "I'm only bringing my clothes and a few
books, so most of it is packed. I'm ready to leave when you are."
Zhongli nodded. "We'll hire a moving truck to transport your-"
"Don't. My entire life fits in two suitcases. I'm not planning on coming back to this place
anyway. The furniture wasn't mine to begin with," Kaeya clarified, looking over Zhongli's
shoulder to see Ajax stirring in his sleep.
"I see. In that case we'll return before the week's end. That way you'll have a couple of days
to settle in before Ajax and myself return to our regular schedules," Zhongli stepped back but
didn't leave just yet. "We'll pick you up on Friday morning."
"Sounds good to me," Kaeya hesitated, but eventually he cleared his throat. "Text me when
you arrive at the hotel? Just so I know you've arrived safely. It would be a bummer if I had to
become a single mother all of a sudden, you know?"
He noticed the way Zhongli's fingers twitched, like he wanted to do something with his hands
and was actively fighting that urge.
"I promise I will."
Kaeya watched as Zhongli returned to the car and drove away, and only then did he push the
door closed and made his way up the stairs.
Chapter End Notes
I hope you liked it 😊
I've been feeling a little disheartened about this story, but I've promised myself I
wouldn't give up on it. I don't often share my writing online, because I always feel like it
could be more, be better, and I am terribly afraid of disappointing you.
But I realised I'll never grow if I don't share it and hear your feedback. So I'm telling my
anxiety to shut up until I finish this. Wish me luck I guess.
Pelmeni
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"Welcome to Maison du Poisson!" Ajax said, opening the door with a flourish of his hands.
"The house of fish?" Kaeya inquired, an eyebrow arching in amusement. He looked at
Zhongli, only to see him sigh in exasperation.
"So that's what that means," Ajax hummed, dragging Kaeya's suitcases into the large foyer of
their penthouse. "Learn something new every day."
Kaeya would have replied, but he was too busy looking around himself. He wasn't sure what
he'd been expecting, but this was certainly a different brand of luxury from what he was used
to growing up. The house was enormous, the walls painted in a harmonious mixture of
pristine white and warm greys. On the far end of the room, the walls were entirely made of
glass, providing a magnificent view of the harbour and the sea that spread beyond.
The decor was a perfect marriage between tradicional Liyue lines and modern Snezhnaya
details, even the art scattered around the room was a homage to both Nations.
So much to take in, and Kaeya hadn't even left the hall, yet.
"What do you think?" Asked Ajax, arms spread out as he backed away into the room. He
tripped awkwardly over his own shoes, but managed to catch himself before he lost his
balance. With a light cough, he stepped to the side. "Nice, huh?"
Kaeya toed off his shoes and arranged them neatly by the door. "There's a lot of natural
light," he commented, his bare feet coming to a stop on a nice soft faux-fur carpet. "It's very
bright. Very homey."
"I'm glad you like it. Do you want a tour now, or would you rather eat something first?"
Zhongli asked, rolling their own suitcases into the room. "I'm sure Ajax wouldn't mind to
cook for you."
"I really wouldn't. I miss the stove," Ajax said picking up a pile of mail from the console
table near the door. He started sifting through the letters, his eyebrows narrowing on a purple
envelope. "Your grandma wrote again," he said, waving a letter at Zhongli. Kaeya noticed the
way his shoulders tensed, and moved aside to give them a little privacy. "Let's hope it's not
another list of nice young omega ladies for you to breed. I think she still isn't over you
rejecting Ningguang even when Ningguang herself wasn't interested to begin with. Maybe
she'll try to throw Hu Tao at you again. I wonder..."
With a sigh, Zhongli took the letter from him, folded it and slipped it into the inner pocket of
his jacket. "Look at me," he gently coaxed, his fingers touching Ajax's chin so he could face
him. "When was the last time my grandmother's opinion mattered? We don't need an omega
to breed, we have all we need right here. Kaeya is here. We're fine. Our baby will come
whether she approves of our methods or not. If I remember correctly, she was very much
against our engagement, and yet here we are."
"I don't know how I put up with you," Ajax grinned, via sour mood immediately lifting as he
pressed his lips to Zhongli's. "You're disgusting."
Kaeya wanted to hide away, or flee, or generally just be anywhere that was not that place at
that time where Ajax and Zhongli were being so disgustingly tender and loving with each
other. Kaeya looked away and focused very hard on the flower arrangement that sat on the
console by the entrance.
Pretty flowers.
Blue and white and pink.
Kaeya wanted someone to love him like that, too.
Pink and blue and white.
Just a hug would do, really. Someone to hold him when he felt adrift.
Zhongli touched Kaeya's arm, his smile a lovely line on his lips. "Qingxin, Silk Flowers and
Glaze Lillies. They're local flowers. Madam Ping, our head of staff, is very fond of them."
"They're beautiful," Kaeya said, his voice a little too rough, a little too quiet.
White and pink and blue. So blue. Kaeya, too, felt a little blue. Funny how things worked.
"Hey, Li. How about you show Kaeya around while I cook us dinner? Honestly, you've hyped
up my cooking so much, I am getting a little nervous for Kaeya to finally get a taste of it."
Zhongli looked at Kaeya, asking, without asking, if he was okay with the idea. And after a
small nod, Ajax dropped the letters on the console and left the room.
"Gotta go feed my babies," he hummed.
"I think it's appropriate to inform you that by babies he means you, as well as the little one."
Zhongli touched Kaeya's back and waved a hand on the opposite direction. "in any case,
allow me to be your tour guide, then."
It turned out that Zhongli was a phenomenal host. He showed Kaeya around like a true
museum curator, telling him tales about the origin of a statue or a painting decorating the
walls, small anecdotes about the time Ajax had tried to build a secret room in his office only
to nearly cause the roof to collapse. It was amusing and entertaining, and Kaeya couldn't say
he wasn't enjoying himself.
They started on the large sitting room, moved to Zhongli's home office, then Ajax's, then a
few of the many bathrooms that apparently existed in the house just for the sake it it, and
finally the couple's suite. Kaeya had completely forgotten what it was like to live in luxury.
Back in the Ragnvindr mansion, he'd had a four poster bed, down pillows, a mattress so
comfortable it was a struggle to get up in the morning.
This was much like what he'd been used to, but after so long living in his little shoebox, it felt
like way too much room. Too much empty room, where laughter could echo forever without
anyone to hear it and return it. Where one could feel so utterly alone even if they weren't the
only ones in the house. Luckily, the family was growing, so hopefully the house would soon
feel less empty.
"This is the nursery," Zhongli said, opening a door to an empty room close to the suite. "We
haven't started yet, but Ajax has been drafting ideas for months. He's torn between a forest
theme or a neutral, more subdued thing. You should see his aesthetic boards on social media,
they're ridiculously detailed."
"The baby should be due in early spring, right?" Kaeya asked, arms folding in front of his
chest. As he took a look around the empty room. Apart from a couple or cans of paint and a
comfortable-looking armchair, there really was nothing else to take notice of. "Maybe a forest
theme would be nice. Or a mix of the two. Make it neutral, but still introduce some elements
of nature in the decor?"
Kaeya should shut up. It's not like he should have a say in the matter. The baby wasn't even
his to worry about, so why was he even giving his opinion to begin with? It's not like he had
been asked. Still, he couldn't help but to picture the room after it was finished, that large chair
by the window as Ajax held the baby and told them stories about his homeland.
The dull ache in his chest was unwelcome and unfamiliar. Kaeya quickly exited the room.
"Where to next?" he hastily asked.
Zhongli gave him a little confused look, but followed him out and guided him through the
corridor, picking up Kaeya's suitcase before crossing towards the other side of the house, up
the staircase.
"This is the apartment. It's fully furnished and it has its own kitchenette and bathroom,"
Zhongli said, opening a door to what was essentially a house inside a house. The bedroom
alone was bigger than the entirety of Kaeya's place, and sure enough, there was a small
kitchenette, fully functional, a walk-in closet, and a bathroom with a tub big enough to fit at
least three and half Kaeyas.
Kaeya noticed that Zhongli hadn't followed him inside, and raised an eyebrow.
"We had an agreement," Zhongli said simply. "No entering your room without explicit
permission."
It surprised him how early his rule had been enacted. Kaeya smiled, infinitely more grateful
for that, than for the luxury that surrounded him. He walked towards the door and took his
luggage from Zhongli's hold.
"Thank you," he said. "Do you think I have enough time to freshen up before eating?
Travelling sucks the energy right out of me."
"Of course. Take your time, Kaeya. We'll be downstairs when you're ready to join us."
Zhongli left, closing the door behind him and leaving Kaeya on his own.
He took the chance to explore the rooms again, and noticed that the walk-in closet had been
vacated to accommodate his own clothes, except for a row of maternity basics that hung near
the back. Plain shirts, simple leggings designed to support his belly once it was big enough
for that, and comfortable shoes. How on earth they had guessed his shoe size was a mystery,
but from what little he knew of Zhongli, Kaeya could assume he could guess the colour of his
underwear by what numbers he played in the lottery.
Piled in a corner of the closet was a small mountain of soft towels that smelled like clean
laundry that had dried in the sun. A very specific smell that took him back to his childhood as
he hid from Diluc among the sheets that had been lain to dry among the fields of vines in the
Winery. The maids would yell at him when his muddy hands tugged the white sheets in his
excitement, and he'd run away laughing, a few teeth missing from his smile, a bandage
hanging loose from his scraped knee.
Sometimes he wished he could go back to those times. Everything was simple and
straightforward. And even though Kaeya had already been carrying quite a lot of baggage, his
brother and father had made it all feel bearable.
The weight of his troubles seemed to lessen considerably when he had someone to help him
carrying it.
The shower was sinfully inviting. A simple sheet of glass separating the large area from the
rest of the bathroom, the water fell from overhead in heavy droplets that felt like heaven as
they hit his back. Kaeya just stood under the spray, appreciating the impromptu massage and
finally, finally allowing himself to relax.
His life in Liyue would obviously be temporary, but Kaeya was going to milk every moment
of its full potential, and right now that shower was his favourite place in the entire house. The
collection of hair care products that had been laid out for him was surprising, and among so
much choice, Kaeya decided to try out the dragonfruit and honey collection to start off.
With his hair smelling like dessert, and his body infinitely more relaxed, he got off the
shower and slid on a pair of comfortable leggings and a large shirt, something cool and loose
like he preferred to wear at home.
The next few minutes, Kaeya struggled to find a hair drier and gave up after getting distracted
by his massive bed. He had to physically hold himself back, because if he lay down now he
would probably only wake up a week later, and that would simply not do. Instead, he stripped
the bed entirely and started to pull out his favourite blankets from his suitcase.
It would take a while to build a nest he'd be satisfied with, especially considering how little
he'd allowed himself to bring from his old place. Then he wondered if the baby would
appreciate something of Zhongli's and Ajax's, which meant that Kaeya would have to go
through the hassle of asking the two alphas to wear something around the house just so he
could add it to the pile. How embarrassing.
Did scents even affect unborn babies? Would they become familiarised with their parents
scents if Kaeya surrounded himself with them? How did babies even work? It's been so long
since he'd interacted with an infant. Klee had just celebrated her eight birthday. How was he
supposed to remember anything from eight years ago if he was having trouble remembering
what he'd had for breakfast?
Maybe he could ask Doctor Baizhu during his first appointment. That would be smart.
Not entirely satisfied with his little messy nest, but content enough for now, Kaeya left his
bed and decided to join the other two downstairs, his hair still damp and dripping down his
back, which, considering how the AC was functioning and quite cool, made him feel a little
cold and uncomfortable.
He got lost at some point, and ended up walking into two guest bathrooms and an empty
office before finding his way towards the kitchen. There was music playing, which helped
him guide his steps to his destination. If memory served him, the singer was a very wellknown traditional opera star, beloved by the people of Liyue. He tried to pay attention to the
lyrics but the scent of food quickly overpowered his brain.
"... Don't understand what he sees in him. I mean he's handsome, I guess, but he smells like
cheese. Tsaritsa have mercy, that boy smells like cheese, and I do mean the stinky one that
smells like feet," Ajax was saying. He sounded very pained indeed.
"So does he smell like cheese, or does he smell like feet?" Zhongli asked, his tone light and
amused.
"Both! It's bizarre, Li. I don't know. So I told Anton that if he dated that stinkfest of a boy I
knew thirty-seven ways to kill someone and make it look like an accident," Ajax continued.
"In no world is my little brother going to date cheeseboy."
"Do you, now?" Zhongli laughed.
"Do I what?"
"Know thirty-seven ways to kill someone?"
"Of course not," Ajax gasped, sounding really quite appalled, like the idea itself was a
criminal offence. "I know fifty-three, sixty-eight if it involves arson, but then it gets trickier.
The thing is, I don't want to scare him too much, you know? He's only fourteen, after all. He's
baby. Innocent tiny baby."
"Must I remind you that at age fourteen you believed you'd gotten a girl pregnant," Zhongli
said, sounding very amused and not a little bit guilty. "Just because you kissed her cheek."
"Let me live, Zhongli. Let me live," Ajax groaned.
Kaeya was holding in his laughter as he entered the kitchen, and his eyes immediately fell
upon the couple.
Ajax was, as promised, still standing over the stove, bending down slightly to check the oven.
Zhongli was sitting at the kitchen island, eyes closed as he appreciated the music and his
husband's company.
It felt like he was intruding by just witnessing such an intimate, relaxed moment. So he
turned around, fully intending to go back to his room. However, as he turned he hit his elbow
on the door, immediately calling the attention of the pair.
"There you are!" Ajax beckoned him with his hand. "Can you please give this a taste? I don't
know how seasoned you like your food."
Kaeya let Ajax feed him a spoonful of broth. It was amazing, far better than Kaeya had
imagined, and by the look Ajax was giving him, he knew exactly what he was thinking.
"It's really good. What is it?"
"Bamboo shoot soup," Ajax told him as he returned his attention to the pot. "It was the first
local dish I learned to cook."
"After he found out it was my favourite," Zhongli added, smiling fondly at his husband. "He
was still trying to court me back then."
"You say trying but it looks to me like it worked," Kaeya pointed out, sliding into the seat
next to Zhongli.
"It was a disaster," Ajax sighed, looking forlorn at the memory. "I let it stew for far too long.
The meat was too tough, the ham had salted the broth. I think the only thing that was actually
edible was the bamboo shoot."
"You did learn from your mistakes, though," Zhongli told him, a small frown marring his
otherwise handsome features. "You've become very comfortable with Liyue cuisine since
then. Not with chopsticks, though. Even after I gave you that lacquered set for you to practice
with-"
"I've been surrounded by Liyue flavours for years now," Ajax said, promptly cutting off
Zhongli's incoming rant. He picked up a ladle and started serving the soup into three bowls.
"I miss my mother's cooking the most, but I got to have plenty of it when I was home."
"I would like to taste the flavours of your homeland sometime," Kaeya said, holding the bowl
Ajax offered with both hands. "I don't think I've had Snezhnayan food before."
"It's delicious," Zhongli said, facing Kaeya. "They have these delicious dumplings called
Pelmeni, they're amazing. When I first went to meet Ajax's family they insisted that I'd shape
the dumplings with them. It's a family tradition, you see. Inviting me into this ritual was their
way of accepting me into their family. It was incredibly special."
There was something so warm about the way Ajax and Zhongli loved each other so
unabashedly. Most people would probably feel some form of embarrassment or some kind of
unease while sharing such personal stories with strangers, but there they were, talking to
Kaeya about their history, like he was a friend, someone who belonged there.
He tried to distract himself by eating his bowl of soup, but curiosity did eventually win, and
he cleared his throat before asking, "How did you two meet?"
Ajax stopped stirring his own bowl as he looked at Kaeya. "I tried to bankrupt his business."
Kaeya hadn't known what he was expecting, but it hadn't been that.
"Lapis Dei was Fatui Corp.'s biggest competitor in the jewellery trade, in Liyue," Zhongli
started. "And as head of operations, Ajax thought it would be a good idea to try to buy off our
main stone suppliers, and cut our access to the raw materials we used in the making of our
jewellery."
"It didn't work, of course. I didn't really account for Zhongli's massive legal team. And by
massive team, I mean Yanfei. That woman is a legal behemoth. Apparently contracts are a
whole business of their own here in Liyue, and Zhongli is widely known for never breaking
one. Of course back then I hadn't known that. But..." Ajax sipped on his broth and chewed in
silence for a moment. "You've heard him speak."
"I have," Kaeya laughed, immediately picking up what Ajax was putting down. Zhongli had a
gift with words. He could make solid statues dance if he wanted to.
"How was I supposed not to fall in love with him, when he arrived at my office, saying words
in that voice, and looking like that-" Ajax gestured wildly at Zhongli like he'd personally
insulted his mother, "-and proposed a contract to bind our companies together?"
"No, I see your point," Kaeya easily agreed. "That's absolutely valid."
"Thank you!"
"You two are ridiculous," Zhongli set his bowl down and leaned forward to wipe a droplet of
broth from the corner of Ajax's lips. "In any case, thanks to that contract, Ajax and I were
inevitably bound to meet regularly for business."
"And then I asked him to marry me," Ajax shook his head. "He denied me before I had even
finished the proposal."
Kaeya laughed, picturing the scene perfectly as if it was happening before his eyes. "How
could you break his heart like that, Zhongli?"
"I just told him that we should probably try dating first. You know, like normal people."
"And then we went on our first date and I asked him to marry me again. This time he waited
until I finished talking to say no," the sheer pride in Ajax's face was nothing short of
hilarious. "I saw that as progress."
"You would," Kaeya chuckled. "So when did you decide to get married, then?"
"Zhongli proposed to me during the Lantern Rite festival, maybe two years after we started
dating," Ajax told him, his eyes glossed over and shining impossibly bright as he recalled
what was undoubtedly one of his fondest memories. "I almost considered saying no, but by
that point I was ready to elope right then and there. I was so ready, Kaeya. So ready to share
the rest of my life with this ridiculous man. Of course, he insisted he wanted to meet my
family first."
"Pelmeni," Kaeya guessed.
"Pelmeni," Zhongli confirmed.
Ajax finished his soup and set the bowl in the basin, before taking Zhongli's and doing the
same. "Are you done eating Kaeya?"
"Quite, thank you," he said, pushing his bowl so Ajax could take it. "Thank you for the food.
It was delicious. I look forward to see what else you can do."
"Is that a challenge?"
Kaeya simply smirked, leaning back on his chair. "I'll leave it up to you to decide."
"Oh, you're on."
Chapter End Notes
I am truly overwhelmed and thankful for the wave of support you all showed me last
chapter. You're like a safety net. When I feel scared I can count on you to keep me up,
and it makes me really happy. You're the best ❤
The Prettiest Smile
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Doctor Baizhu was, much like Kaeya himself, an unconventional omega. He was tall, taller
than Kaeya even, with an intelligent gaze hidden behind half-moon glasses. He seemed to
sense Kaeya's restlessness just by shaking his hand, and was quick to share with him the tale
of how he'd come to specialise in omega male pregnancies after his own pregnancy nearly
cost him his life, and the life of his daughter.
Surprisingly, or maybe not at all, it had worked. Whatever reluctance that might have
lingered, all but faded away under Doctor Baizhu's understanding smile and honest words.
He felt safe in his care, and that was essential.
Kaeya was currently lying down on the exam table, his head propped up on an uncomfortable
pillow, and his shirt rolled up to expose his flat stomach, lean and toned and looking very
much not like it was housing a baby at all.
Zhongli and Ajax sat beside him, one jittery and impatient, the other trying to keep his
composure even though his eyes scanned the exam room with so much intensity one would
thing a snake would jump from the vents. The fact that they were so obviously nervous was
beginning to make Kaeya feel even more stressed out, and he had to close his eyes so he
wouldn't focus on the couple next to him.
"What's taking him so long?" Ajax hissed, his hand coming up to his lips so he could bite at
his nails. Zhongli gently pulled it back town. "Is he building the damn thing?"
"Patience, love. Someone else might be using it. He'll be back before you know it."
After a small eternity, Doctor Baizhu walked back into the room, rolling over a machine and
parking it next to Kaeya's exam table.
"I do apologise for the delay. Our ultrasound technician has had an unexpected medical
emergency, and he had to be taken to the hospital. I'll be the one overseeing your ultrasound
today," the doctor explained, as he slid on his gloves. Then he took a seat next to Kaeya and
lowered his leggings a little further to expose more of his lower stomach. "Are you ready?"
he asked him.
"As ready as I'll ever be," Kaeya replied, swallowing the growing lump in his throat. He felt
vulnerable and exposed and not at all comfortable, but he wouldn't rob Zhongli and Ajax the
right to see their baby for the first time. He couldn't do it. Not when they were both looking
so anxious and eager. "Will it hurt?"
"Not at all. The process may feel uncomfortable, but it's not at all painful," Doctor Baizhu
reassured him. "This might feel a little goopy and cold," he warned next as he squeezed a
dollop of the gel onto Kaeya's heated skin.
It took a while before anything happened, and the nerves kept piling up. Doctor Baizhu was
moving the wand around his stomach, spreading the gel around, but there was no reaction in
his face. A genuinely terrifying thought was beginning to settle in his head. Was there
anything in his womb at all? Had his blood tests been wrong? Had the baby not made it? Had
Kaeya already failed the couple next to him?
Then, like the first gulp of air after being underwater for far too long"Your baby is looking healthy," Doctor Baizhu said, a small smile curving his lips as turned a
larger screen to show them what he was seeing.
The image showed an ocean of black, and in its centre, a small grey spot, vaguely shaped like
an orange segment.
Was that it? Was that his baby? Was that the little one he was bound to protect for the next
few months? A surge of affection spread from the centre of his chest to the rest of his body
like a heatwave.
Zhongli and Ajax had fallen completely silent beside him, their eyes just as captivated by the
black and white image as his were.
Doctor Baizhu moved the wand around for a moment and then smiled. "They're right here,"
he said, pointing at the blob in the screen. "That's your baby. If the size is anything to go by,
you should be around the six week mark."
"That sounds about right," Kaeya whispered, still too stunned to really elaborate. There was a
blob inside him, and for some reason, Kaeya felt immensely proud of it. His little blob was
healthy and growing strong.
And then he remembered that it wasn't his blob to love. The realisation hit him like a slap to
the face and he had to force himself to look away from the image on the screen. However the
only other direction he could look had Zhongli and Ajax in his horizon, both looking
fascinated and a little giddy.
Zhongli looked like he wanted to ask a couple hundred questions and was debating where to
start. Ajax, on the other hand, had a smile so wide it made Kaeya's cheeks hurt just to watch.
"Can we hear the heartbeat yet?" Ajax asked, leaning forward.
"Let's see," Doctor Baizhu pressed a button on the machine and adjusted the wand again, and
then a quick flutter of a heartbeat could be heard in the room. Fast and frantic and there.
His little blob had a heartbeat.
Kaeya felt the sting of tears behind his eyes and had to force himself to once again look away,
lest Zhongli and Ajax notice his struggles. He couldn't get attached. He knew that. But he still
felt stupidly happy at the sign of an amorphous shape on a screen and the sound of a tiny
fluttering heartbeat.
Maybe it was hormones, maybe it was something else, but the truth was that Kaeya had to
distance himself from the idea of having a baby, and favour the fact that he was nothing but a
temporary residence. His body was a tool to achieve an end and it had in no way shape or
form a claim over the tiny being growing within him.
Zhongli seemed to decide which question to ask first, and Kaeya forced himself to lend the
conversation at least a fraction of his attention. However, the discomfort he was feeling at the
sudden flurry of emotions warring away in his chest made it extremely difficult to focus on
anything else. At some point, he felt warmth, and looked down to see that Ajax had
tentatively held his hand, his fingers calloused and loose around Kaeya's.
He took the comfort for what it was, selfishly holding onto that hand like it was enough to
keep him from feeling things he knew he shouldn't.
"Is there any other question you wish to ask?" Doctor Baizhu was looking at Kaeya like he
could read his mind. "Anything at all?"
There were many questions, and still he had no idea how to even voice them. So he kept
himself out of the equation, and focused on the couple, on what he could do to strengthen the
bond between the baby and their true parents.
"I was wondering," Kaeya started, distancing himself from his heart, "if it is possible for the
foetus to start the bonding process with their fathers via scent. If I should add something to
my nest that would help them later recognise Ajax and Zhongli as their legitimate parents."
The look in Doctor Baizhu's face was thoughtful, maybe a little hesitant, and Kaeya could
guess the reason. But he had to be as objective and cold as possible if he wanted a chance at
salvaging his heart. At least for now when his emotions were at an all time high and he was
doing his dammed best to put a lifetime of training in practice and hide as much of the
turmoil rampaging inside of him as he possibly could.
"The more familiar you are with their scents, the more at ease the baby will feel in their
presence when they're born. That said, if you don't feel comfortable with adding their scents
to your nest, you shouldn't feel like you have to," Doctor Baizhu said as he carefully wiped
the gel from Kaeya's belly with a soft tissue. "It would help, but not significantly enough that
it would justify a hard adaptation period for you. The choice is entirely yours."
Kaeya nodded, sat up on the exam table and started adjusting his clothes again. Zhongli and
Ajax took over the questions again, but Kaeya was tired and ready to go home. Still, he slid
on his coat and ramained seated, waiting for the conversation to be over so he could just go
home and take a nice long nap. There was nothing in the world that a nap couldn't fix. He'd
learned that from his mother when he was a child.
After a nap, everything bad goes away.
Eventually they bade the good doctor goodbye and left the office, Kaeya leading the way to
the car as the couple talked not far behind.
"So tiny," Zhongli was saying, the smile evident in his words. "Must be as small as a grain of
rice."
"A pomegranate seed," Ajax said, his voice a little teary, but incredibly joyful. "And their
little heartbeat? Li, they're real. They're really... real! We're going to be parents, holy shit."
Holy shit indeed. The excitement was almost palpable. It was a small comfort to fall into.
This small being he was carrying was loved. They were wanted. He couldn't ask for more,
really. Not when Kaeya himself had been so atrociously unwanted by his own father. Not
when his life had started in turmoil. He wouldn't wish that on anybody. Hopefully, this baby
would never know fear and guilt as intimately as Kaeya did.
The only thing he could hope for was that this baby wouldn't inherit his curse, independently
of whether Zhongli and Ajax believed in it or not, this baby had everything to grow up happy
and healthy. It had a world of possibilities in front of them. Kaeya hoped he wouldn't ruin it
for them, the same way his mother had unwittingly ruined it for Kaeya.
In the car, he pulled his legs up to his chest and closed his eyes. By pretending he'd fallen
asleep, he had an excuse to avoid being part of the conversation, though it hadn't really been
needed. As Ajax steered the wheel, and the generic music sounded from the speakers, the car
fell into relative silence. At some point Kaeya must have dozed off, because when he opened
his eyes again, Zhongli was hovering over him, a small smile on his lips as he gently shook
Kaeya's arm.
"We're home," he said, holding out a hand for Kaeya to take.
Still a little disorientated, Kaeya's hand automatically held onto Zhongli's as he helped him
get out of the car. Ajax was waiting at the lift keeping the doors open for them.
They didn't talk on the way up to the penthouse. They didn't talk as Kaeya bent down to take
off his shoes. But as he started walking towards his room, Ajax stopped him, holding onto the
sleeve of his coat.
"Kaeya, you're doing the thing."
He raised an eyebrow. "The thing?"
"Where you go really quiet, and look like you're fighting a whole battle with yourself,"
Zhongli clarified. "We just want to make sure you're all right."
Ah, yes. Maybe he wasn't as good at hiding his feelings as he'd thought. Or maybe Ajax and
Zhongli were just that observant. He was inclined to believe the latter.
"I'm growing a human," He said, forcing a smile on his lips. "It's exhausting. I just need to
sleep for a few hours."
Ajax let go of his sleeve and handed him a small envelope instead. "Ultrasound pictures," he
said. "For you to keep."
Kaeya looked down at the envelope like was going to grow teeth and bite off his hand. He
didn't want it. He didn't want any reasons to get attached. He just wanted to be left alone and
forget.
"Thank you," he said after a few seconds too long. He took the envelope and waved the
couple goodbye before retiring to his rooms.
He'd ask them for a piece of clothing to add to his nest later. For now, he shoved the envelope
into a drawer, out of sight, out of mind, and flopped down on the bed.
Maybe, he thought as he curled up among his blankets, maybe this was a mistake.
As a kid, whenever he'd felt overwhelmed, he would sneak out of his room and find his big
brother. The mansion was well kept, but old, and the sounds that echoed through the corridors
at night had scared him every time. But he'd braved his fears and eventually ended up
sneaking into Diluc's room. Most of the times, the boy wouldn't even wake up as Kaeya slid
into his bed and snuggled into him for comfort. Some other nights, he would wake up and
hold Kaeya close and promise him with sleepy whispers that he'd protect him, that he was
safe in his arms.
When was the last time Kaeya had been held like that? With such tenderness and
unconditional love? When was the last time someone had given him a tight hug and told him
that everything would be okay? Crepus died almost six years ago, but he'd stopped hugging
his sons before that. Diluc, while still close to Kaeya, had eventually grown up and stopped
showing his affections in the way he'd done when they were younger.
And then Kaeya had fallen into the arms of a married man, but his touch, his hold, had held
none of the comfort he'd so desperately wanted, only possession. And after finding out about
his marital status, there was nothing else that was keeping him attached to that mistake.
Kaeya wasn't a kid anymore. He hadn't been held in so long he almost forgot what human
touch felt like. The moment Ajax had held his hand during the appointment, had felt so alien
to him, and still he'd savoured every second. Looking at his hand now, it looked so bereft, so
lonely.
Oh. Maybe that was it. Maybe Kaeya was just really lonely. Or maybe he was hormonal and
tired and desperately touch-starved.
After this whole ordeal was over, he was going to need so much therapy.
The steady descent off the sun on the horizon brought with it the beautiful colours of a dying
afternoon. Kaeya watched the sky though his wall of windows and wished, for just a fraction
of a second, that he was standing at the very tip of Starsnatch Cliff, arms outstretched,
pretending he could fly.
There was a gentle knock on his door, followed by Ajax's voice.
"Kaeya? I made you some dinner. I'll leave it here for when you feel peckish."
Breathing in deeply, Kaeya stood up and dragged his feet across the wooden floor, his limbs
feeling heavy and his movements sluggish. When he opened the door, Ajax looked at him
like he'd seen an alien.
Then he proceeded to do this very awkward dance where he nearly touched Kaeya but
thought better of it so he dropped his hands, but seemed to forget why and tried to reach out
to Kaeya again, only to stop himself halfway.
Eventually he just said, helplessly, "You've been crying."
"Have I?" Kaeya asked, genuinely surprised. He touched his cheeks curiously, and indeed
they were damp. So that's why his head felt so heavy. That's why his nose felt stuffed. Kaeya
couldn't remember the last time he'd cried, but today seemed like a good day to fall apart.
"You're not well, are you?" Ajax asked, looking like he was in pain. "You haven't been well
since we left Doctor Baizhu's clinic. Maybe you haven't been well even before that."
"I'm fine," Kaeya cleared his throat and tried to step back, but something in Ajax's expression
stopped him. "I'm emotional. It happens. It's been a long day."
"You don't have to lie, you know?" Ajax said, a broken smile upon his lips. "I think you're
amazing, Kaeya. I couldn't do what you're doing, I couldn't fathom carrying a baby to term,
knowing I wouldn't be the one to raise them. It can't be easy for you to be in this position, but
know that it was never our intention to cut you off from the baby's life. We leave the
ruthlessness for our business deals."
Kaeya wasn't quite sure what to say to that. So he didn't say anything, his eyes searching
Ajax's face and finding that maybe he understood Kaeya in a deeper level. Maybe something
was broken within him, too. What the connection was, exactly, Kaeya didn't know. But he
hoped to find out at some point.
"I don't know if that would make it better or worse," Kaeya said, using the sleeve of his
jumper to wipe the tear tracks off his cheeks. "I'm going to be fine. I'm just going through a
lot of big changes in a very short period and I'm having a bit of trouble processing it all. I'll
deal with it."
"You don't have to deal with it on your own, though," Ajax seemed to make up his mind, and
he took Kaeya's hand in his again. "I'm here. Zhongli is here. Use us. Lean on us. We may not
know each other very well, but if there's something Zhongli taught me is that bottling things
up makes everything so much worse."
"I don't know how to do anything else. I wouldn't even know where to start," Kaeya
confessed, his smile a bitter tasteless thing on his lips. "Alone is what I have."
Ajax shifted his hold until his fingers were intertwined with Kaeya's. "Everyone needs
someone, though. At least while you're in our care, and for as long as you need us. Let me be
your someone, Kaeya. Let Zhongli be your someone."
Oh, that choking feeling was right back in his throat, and Kaeya felt like he was going to cry
again. His hands were shaking. He felt nauseated.
"Is it okay if I hug you?" Ajax asked.
"Please," Kaeya breathed, begged, so emotionally drained he wasn't sure what was going on
anymore. "Please, Ajax."
They crashed into each other like water against a rocky cliff. Ajax was gentle with him but
his arms were firm and steady, holding Kaeya up when he couldn't do it himself. Kaeya
buried his face on Ajax's chest, and just for a moment, he allowed himself to just feel. He felt
everything at once, overwhelming and painful and suffocating and he hoped Ajax would just
let him fall apart so he could eventually try to build himself back up again.
For how long had Kaeya been holding everything in? Years, he supposed. Years of powering
through his life, ignoring his struggles because crying about them wouldn't help him survive.
Moping wouldn't bring his big brother back to his senses. So he'd pushed, and he'd pushed
and he hadn't noticed how thin he'd worn himself until a pair of random strangers asked him
to hold onto their unborn child for a while. He hadn't noticed how truly tired he was until two
alphas, of all people, showed him what respect could be like, and made him so very aware of
how broken Kaeya truly was.
Time was lost on him, but eventually his sobbing quieted down, and his body stopped
trembling, and his head ached like someone was practicing a drum solo within the walls of
his skull. Kaeya pulled back, wincing at the wet patches on Ajax's shirt. He felt disgusting.
"Feeling better?" Ajax asked, his warm hands cupping Kaeya's face and wiping his tears
away. "You really needed that, huh?"
"Don't get cocky. I know where you sleep and I know where you keep the knives," Kaeya
said, his words losing most of their effect with the way he was leaning into his touch. "How
are you so good at this?"
"I'm a middle child in a family with seven kids. We were originally ten. I watched three of
my siblings die, and witnessed first hand what not talking about the things that hurt us can
do," Ajax was smiling, but it didn't reach his eyes. It was so different from the radiant smile
he'd had showed while watching the little blob on that monitor.
"I sense there's a story there," Kaeya said before sucking in a deep steadying breath. "I won't
ask you about it, though. If you ever feel like talking, I trust you know where to find me."
"I appreciate that," Ajax's arms slowly dropped from around Kaeya's middle, and he took a
step back. "For now, please eat something and get some rest. If anyone deserves it, it's you."
That, he couldn't argue with. After the day he'd had, he was feeling utterly drained, ready to
collapse. He looked up at Ajax, taking in the blue eyes, the freckles, the tousled hair, and
wondered if this was what coming home felt like.
"Thank you for checking on me," Kaeya said, holding the tray Ajax was handing to him.
"And for the food. If I don't wake up tomorrow, try to seduce me with food. That should be
enough to get me out of bed," he lifted the tray a little. "Case in point."
Ajax nodded as he pretended to take notes on his hand with an invisible pen. "If comatose,
seduce your local Kaeya with pancakes. Got it."
"Can't wait to see what Zhongli has to say about that. Better wash your hands before he sees
it," Kaeya joked, offering him a playful wink and stepped back. Into the room. "I'm going to
leave you to it now. I have a baby to feed."
"Hey, Kaeya?" Ajax called, and Kaeya stopped halfway through closing the door. "You really
have... the prettiest smile."
And then with a wave, he was gone.
Chapter End Notes
Hope you liked it 😊
I must have rewritten this chapter like three times before I was satisfied enough to share
it with you. This one was a brawler. 😅
Imma go take a nap, now.
Appalling Behaviour
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Zhongli and Ajax were fighting.
It was an interesting study in human behaviour to see the way those two dealt with a
disagreement. Kaeya had been showering so he'd missed the beginning of it all, but according
to Ajax what had started as banter had eventually turned into a small argument which had
then evolved into a full-blown fight.
The reason? Seafood, apparently.
Ajax insisted that Kaeya's meals should be diverse and nutritive to help with the development
of their baby. However Zhongli couldn't quite bear the thought of ingesting anything that had
once lived in water. When he'd suggested that he would cook something else for himself on
the days Ajax decided to cook fish, Ajax somehow heard that as personal insult to his
cooking, and the argument had only spiraled from there.
On day three after their big fall out, neither of them seemed ready to apologise. Which would
be heartbreaking if they weren't behaving so bizarrely around each other.
Exhibit A: Kaeya was sitting on what he'd come to think of as his armchair, one hand holding
a book, the other shoved into a pack of prawn chips. On the large couch to his right, Zhongli
tenderly ran his fingers through Ajax's hair as the other lay snugly on his lap. They weren't
talking to each other, but it was like they couldn't bear to be apart.
Exibit B: Kaeya, sitting at the island counter, talking to Zhongli about traditional Liyue
courting rituals, while Ajax finished cooking their breakfast. They'd both add little tidbits to
the conversation without actually directing their words to each other. It was quite a skill.
Then Ajax would kiss Zhongli goodbye, and leave for work, without actually saying anything
at all.
It was the sheer aggressiveness of their affections that amused Kaeya. They still held each
other, insisted in openly showing they cared for one another, but in such a passive-aggressive
way it was quite fascinating.
What was even more astonishing, was that their attitude towards Kaeya had not changed at
all. Which, from an outsider's point of view, it made sense. Kaeya hadn't been involved in the
fight, so he shouldn't have to suffer the consequences. But still, he was sure most people
would be too upset to make the distinction. Not those two, though. If anything they've been
even sweeter towards him, probably in an attempt to compensate him for the awkwardness.
By day five, Kaeya had honestly had enough. He asked Zhongli if he even remembered why
they were fighting, and all Zhongli did was blink at him, looking genuinely confused. Kaeya
had sighed and gone back to his room because he had not signed up to parent two grown ass
men.
Thank the stars for big showers, because Kaeya could at least soak under the spray for a
while to relieve some of the tension that had built up on his shoulders.
The truth was, he wanted to help. Sure, Zhongli made sure to be affectionate to Ajax, and
Ajax never rejected his affections, but Kaeya missed their dynamic. The regular one where
they were almost disgustingly sweet with each other, and bounced ideas back and forth like a
game of chess, and teased each other with smiles on their lips instead of venom in their
words. It was like watching his favourite couple in a book be intentionally obtuse for the sake
of stubbornness and pride and nothing else.
Thoughts of Zhongli and Ajax came to a sudden halt when, as Kaeya was drying his hair, he
noticed something in the mirror that hadn't caught his attention before. He unplugged the hair
drier, and set it down, before turning to the side. His heart jumped to his throat.
Right there, low in his stomach near the hem of his leggings, there was a small, gentle swell.
Doctor Baizhu had told him that because Kaeya was so slender and toned from years of
dancing, there was a chance he wouldn't show before week twelve. But here he was, ten
weeks in and definitely sporting a little bump.
He poked it gently with his finger. It was firm, and warm and Kaeya wondered if the baby
had felt him. He tried again, only to realise that he was obviously not going to get a response
- it was far too soon for that.
To see the subtle ways his body was changing was absolutely mesmerising. He'd been feeling
tenderness in his chest, and pain in his hips as they widened. His hair had also become
thicker, shinier. Then there were the random bouts of sickness that weren't half as bad as he'd
expected them to be, at least so far.
The more he looked at it, the more real it became.
He reached for his shirt and slid it on, the embers of excitement urging him to seek Ajax and
Zhongli and share the news with them. But as his hand touched the door handle of his
bedroom, he remembered the ridiculous fight and the tension they insisted in maintaining for
some unfathomable reason.
For a moment he considered keeping it to himself, to enjoy the little discovery for a little
longer until those two decided to grow up and behave like adults. But they deserved to know.
Kaeya knew how involved they tried to be with every development of their child's progress,
and he wanted to keep it that way.
So with heaviness in his heart, Kaeya walked down the stairs, and looked around for them for
a moment.
He found Ajax in the home gym, punching away at a training dummy his grey joggers low on
his hips, his black shirt damp with sweat. Kaeya had never noticed how fit and agile Ajax
truly was until that moment, when he delivered a flurry of kicks to the dummy's head like he
was doing some sort of deadly interpretive dance.
Ajax stepped back, wiped the sweat off his brow with the hem of his shirt, and got in position
again, only to meet Kaeya's eyes through the mirrored wall. He turned around.
"Hey there!" he grinned, motioning for Kaeya to throw him a bottle of water "What do I owe
the pleasure?"
"Do you know if Zhongli is home?" Kaeya asked throwing Ajax his bottle and taking a seat
on the bench by the wall.
"He must be in his study," Ajax told him, bending down to grab his towel.
Kaeya hummed, looking down at his hands. Maybe he could use this opportunity to nudge
them into reconciliation. If he played his cards right, they'd get their shit together sooner.
"I see. Well, I'll, leave you to it then," he stood up again, and walked to the door.
"Wait!"
Kaeya waited, hands on his hips. "Yes?"
"What did- Why did you want Zhongli? If you need anything I can help, too!"
Ajax closed the distance between them, easily towering over Kaeya as though that would
prove his point. The point being that he, too was a strong capable alpha that could properly
attend to his needs, whichever they might be.
It didn't prove shit. Except, maybe, for the fact that he was a big manchild. Maybe that was
where his nickname came from.
He let out a sigh, his eyes scanning the gym, the large mirrors, the support bar that ran across
the opposite wall. It looked a lot like a dance studio if they removed the heavy exercise
machinery. Something uncharacteristically complicated spread briefly over his chest.
"I don't need help," Kaeya said, his fingers running along the wooden barre. "What I need is
for you two to put your dicks away and make up, because honestly I could use some maturity
from the two alphas I'm supposed to entrust a child to."
Colour flashed across Ajax's face. At least he was aware of how ridiculous the situation had
become.
"I'm sorry-"
"I don't need your apologies. Your husband doesn't even remember why you're upset to begin
with! So either you two apologise to each other, or I'm staying in Wangshu Inn until this baby
is born," Kaeya threatened, stabbing his finger into Ajax's firm chest. The man didn't even
budge, but he looked ashamed enough not to argue back.
"You wouldn't, though. Would you?" Ajax asked, holding Kaeya's hand.
"Do you really want to chance your odds?"
He pulled his hand away from Ajax's hold and turned away, stalking out of the room. That
was not how he'd envisioned that conversation going, but things seldom went according to
plan when it came to them. Kaeya was still fuming by the time he arrived in the kitchen to fix
himself something to snack on. He'd look for Zhongli later.
Kaeya was spreading some garlic butter over a slice of blueberry-cinnamon bread when
Zhongli walked in, phone pressed to his ear as he spoke to whomever was on the other side
of the line. Kaeya decided to ignore him entirely, choosing instead to focus on piling ham,
tomatoes and pickled carrots on his sandwich. He considered adding some Jueyun Chili
powder as well, but for some reason pregnancy had all but slaughtered his spice tolerance, so
he chose to add some cheese instead.
Zhongli finished the call, and smiled at Kaeya from behind the counter when he sat at the
breakfast table. He looked tired, like he'd been sitting at his desk working for far too long
with not enough water in his system.
"I'm making some tea. Would you like a cup?"
Instead of replying, Kaeya took a bite of his sandwich, carefully so the fillings wouldn't slide
off the other side. It needed something salty, maybe mayonnaise, and more pickles, so he
stood up to grab what he needed from the fridge.
"Kaeya?" Zhongli called.
"I'm ignoring you on purpose. Please cease," Kaeya told him as he squeezed a little swirl of
mayo on top of the cheese, before adding a few slices of pickled beetroot.
Now that... That was art.
"Have I done something to upset you?" Zhongli asked, looking almost heartbroken. "Kaeya,
please. I don't know what to fix if you don't tell me what's broken."
With a frown, Kaeya just stared at Zhongli, slowly chewing away on his sandwich. "If you
need me to spell it out for you then I'm in more trouble than I thought."
Zhongli sat at the table next to Kaeya. "Is this about Ajax?"
"Oh? He can use his brain after all!" Kaeya set his sandwich down and swallowed his
mouthful. "Picture this. You're living in a foreign nation, a guest in a couple's house, carrying
said couple's wombfruit. Your body's changing, your emotions are all over the place, and you
feel sick a lot. And then the couple you're staying with gets into the most ridiculous argument
over the most absurd reason, and instead of talking it out and behaving like, I don't know,
adults, they decide ignore each other for days on end. Now you're pregnant and standing in
the middle of a battlefield you did not ask to enter being used as a peacemaker between two
men that are too immature to sort out their differences. Tell me, Zhongli, why am I upset?"
Kaeya did not wait for a reply. Instead, he picked up the rest of his food and left the kitchen
to return to his room. Hopefully with a little push they could sort out their behaviour so he
could finally, finally share the good news.
The rows of pictures lining the walls of the house were something Kaeya had acknowledged,
but never really paid much attention to. As he made his way to his door, he passed several
frames, picturing the couple in several scenarios, one of the pictures showed Ajax and about
thirteen other people, their hair as red and their skin as freckled as Ajax's.
He didn't know what the occasion was, but to see such a large family made Kaeya feel like he
was bereft of something extraordinary. No wonder Ajax was so fiercely protective of his
family; they looked happy in the picture, their identical smiles radiant.
Kaeya's own family tree - more like family sapling, really - was a mess, full of broken
branches and fallen leaves and rotten fruit. He'd lost two fathers, one mother, a brother, and
now he was in the process of mentally preparing himself to lose a child as well.
Maybe he was cursed after all. For a moment, Kaeya wondered if he got rid of his eye, would
the Curse go with it? He'd entertained the idea when he was a teen, when someone at school
outed his peculiar mutation, effectively shunning him from the rest of his peers.
"You don't need both eyes to dance," he reminded himself. "But depth perception does makes
it easier."
He left the hall of photos behind him and walked into his apartment. His appetite had gone
again, so he just set the little plate down on the kitchenette counter, and decided to spend the
rest of his day relaxing in the balcony with a nice book.
Liyue was a beautiful place, and the view from his room was astonishing. If he would miss
anything after their agreement was over, it would be the shower, and the amazing view.
The sea breeze wafted into the room as he opened the sliding doors, and the infinite ocean
stretched before him, kissing the sky on the horizon. He watched the boats come and go from
the harbour, and followed the seagulls as they dove into the sea and came up victorious with
their catch.
There was something intrinsically romantic about Liyue. Something that made Kaeya want to
stay. Like a home away from home. He'd only been living there for a couple of months, but
he could see himself extending his stay indefinitely.
Not to mention the food. Every dish he tasted was a blessing gifted to him by the Archons he
didn't believe in, even if the baby didn't agree with his taste for spicier food. They did agree
on the almond dessert Zhongli brought for him one night after work, though, which had
quickly become one of his late-night cravings. Ajax had vowed to perfect the dish himself so
they wouldn't have get up at ass-o'clock in the morning to appease their voracious child.
Kaeya's hand found the small swell again. It fit perfectly in his hand, delicate and sweet. He
couldn't wait to share it with Zhongli and Ajax. They'd be ecstatic, no doubt.
"Hey, kiddo, I'll bet you a slice of carrot cake that your father Ajax will cry when he finds out
you're big enough to show in my tummy," Kaeya said, grinning. "Also, please do be
consistent with your cravings. I go from almond tofu, to pickle sandwich to carrot cake in the
span of a breath. Just pick one and stick to it, hm?"
No one made carrot cake quite like Adelinde, though. Kaeya still remembered the first time
he'd tried it. It had been early autumn, and it had been raining all day around the Winery. He
and Diluc had been upset for not being able to play outside, so Adelinde baked them a cake
to lift their mood. She'd even let Kaeya add a generous dollop of whipped cream on his slice.
Looking back, he'd virtually inhaled that cake. As soon as it touched his tongue, Kaeya knew
Adelinde was a food witch. Only magic could make something so otherworldly. Diluc had
found it so amusing, he'd given him his own slice. The result was Kaeya feeling sick for the
rest of the day, but it had been so worth it.
Inevitably, his thoughts wandered to his brother. What was he doing? Was it raining in
Mondstadt? Was he looking at the sky and falling in love with the world?
Was he missing Kaeya half as much as Kaeya missed him?
The sun was beginning to set in the water, and the late afternoon breeze started to pick up, so
he grabbed the soft blanket draped over the back of his chair, and curled snugly into it. He'd
thought about getting some reading done, but the harbour was alive, and the sky was a
beacon of colour, and he could not tear his eyes away from the surrounding scenario. Not
until he heard someone pounding at his door, at least.
Alarmed, Kaeya had stood up, still wrapped around his nice warm blanket as he hurried
towards the noise, scared that something had happened that required the level of urgency the
knocks were suggesting.
When he opened the door, Ajax and Zhongli were both standing there, looking quite worried
themselves as they took in Kaeya's figure.
"Thank Morax! Are you all right?" Zhongli asked.
"I'm great. Are you all right?" He asked instead, hands securing his blanket a little tighter.
"You're knocking on my door like you want to break it down. Is the house on fire?"
"No. I just- I panicked?" Ajax said, letting out a sigh.
"Are you... asking me?"
"I'm telling you! You scolded us both and you looked angry and we've never seen you that
angry before, so we talked and realised you were absolutely right. We wanted to apologise to
you, so we knocked, and you didn't respond when we called, so we got scared that you'd
actually gone ahead and packed your bags and left to stay at the Inn-"
"Or that something had happened with you or the baby," Zhongli added, still not looking
entirely convinced that Kaeya wasn't, in fact, dying.
"I was watching the sunset, outside," Kaeya told them, jabbing his thumb in the direction of
the balcony doors. "Everything is fine with the baby."
"What about you?" Zhongli asked, hand carefully brushing Kaeya's hair away from his face.
"Are you certain you're well?"
He could feel the heat blossoming in his cheeks and spreading down his neck at the small
touch. He had to take a small step back to allow himself some breathing room. "A bit tired,
but apart from that I'm great."
They looked appeased for the time being, and it helped Kaeya relax as well. He bit his lip,
looking at the empty lounge room behind him. "Wanna come in?"
After a brief hesitation, Ajax nodded, and he held Zhongli's hand as they walked into the
guest apartment for the first time since Kaeya had moved in. They were a little awkward, like
they didn't feel comfortable in their own home, but they took a seat on the cream coloured
sofa, sitting close together, fingers still intertwined with each other.
"Kaeya," Zhongli started, clearing his throat. "We want to apologise for our appalling
behaviour these past few days," he said, sounding more like he was writing a letter to the
head of HR than apologising to his surrogate, but even so, Kaeya thought it was incredibly
endearing, how formal Zhongli could be.
"And we're sorry to have put you in a position where you felt uncomfortable in our presence.
Really, Zhongli and I rarely fight, but when we do, we usually just wait it out and eventually
we talk about what happened," Ajax shifted in his seat, like a kid who half-expected to be put
in time out despite coming clean to his parents. "We didn't even consider the stress we'd be
potentially putting on your shoulders by accidentally using you as a buffer between us."
"I believe that we've... Imprinted on you in some fashion, unwittingly accepted you as part of
our pack. You're a pregnant Omega under our care, it was inevitable that we'd grow attached
at some point," Zhongli explained, his words slow and deliberate, like he was trying not to
spook Kaeya.
And he was right to do so. Kaeya had been on his own for so long, he'd completely forgotten
that pack dynamics were a thing. The irony was that he'd belonged to at least two packs
growing up, and he'd lost his place in both of them. If anything, he'd lose his place in the
third as well, after he left.
Then he remembered that it was their child he was carrying, and everything made more
sense. It wasn't Kaeya they were welcoming but their future child. He wasn't sure if that made
things easier or harder. The emptiness in his chest grew a little more and he chose to patch it
up with the knowledge that this kid would be so incredibly loved, and wanted, and likely
never feel like they were a burden, like it would be better if they'd never existed to begin
with.
"Thank you for apologising," Kaeya said, tugging on his blanket and curling up into it a little
further. Now would be the perfect time to tell them, too show them the bump. So pushing the
last threads of selfishness away, Kaeya looked up at the duo and tried his best to smile. "I
have news for you. Baby news. As a peace offering for yelling at you both earlier."
Ajax had suddenly sat up very straight, all of his attention on Kaeya even as he refused to let
go of Zhongli's hand. "Is everything okay?"
Kaeya stood up and let the blanket fall off his shoulders, the soft fabric pooling at his feet as
he stood before the couple and asked for their hands. Then with a small smile he brought
their hands to the swell of his stomach. Their touch was warm even through the fabric of his
shirt, curious fingers tracing the area like they couldn't quite believe what they were
witnessing.
"Is that our baby?" Ajax whispered, eyes wide and bright and lively with wonder.
"The alternative is gas, so I'd prefer to believe that yes, that is indeed our baby," Zhongli
looked up at Kaeya, pride in every line of his features. "You're showing."
"I'm showing," Kaeya confirmed.
"May we see it?"
He nodded, pulling up his shirt just enough to expose the skin. Ajax had started crying by
then. He'd held onto Kaeya's hips and pulled him closer so he could lean his ear on his
stomach.
"Hi baby, it's your daddy," Ajax said, blinking up at Kaeya. "Think they can hear us yet?"
"I don't know, but you should talk to them anyway," he chuckled, fingers absently playing
with Ajax's hair as he whispered at his belly button.
"It feels a little surreal, this," Zhongli confessed, his thumb still brushing up and down the
taut skin. "It makes it more real. We're finally seeing it happen, you know? Before we had
black and white pictures of an amorphous shape, and the doctor's word. Now we have
physical evidence that there is, indeed, someone living in there. You are amazing."
Words of affirmation. That was undoubtedly Zhongli's love language. If Kaeya had a Mora
for every time Zhongli's words had made him feel tingly and warm inside, he'd probably have
enough to pay for the therapy that he so desperately needed.
And then something happened. Something that hadn't happened in years. Kaeya heard
himself purr, a quiet yet constant rumbling at the base of his throat as he basked in the
attention. His base instincts taking over, the omega side of him pleased that it was doing such
a good job for both alphas . Last time he'd done that he'd been small enough to hide inside of
the Winery barrels.
To make it worse Ajax seemed to have noticed it, too, because his attention shifted from his
belly to his face. "You're happy?" It wasn't exactly a question, but Kaeya nodded anyway.
With a soft chuckle, Ajax stroked Kaeya's head.
"Such a pretty omega taking such good care of our little one," Zhongli said, his smile a small
sweet thing on his lips. "Thank you so much for protecting them."
Later, Kaeya would deny that his purring had gotten louder, but in that moment he was at the
top of the world. Yeah, he was a pretty omega, yeah he was being a good protector.
When Zhongli tugged him to sit on the couch between them, Kaeya had gladly taken his
place there, feeling proud and a little tired, but entirely relaxed as the two alphas cuddled
with him, their hands firmly placed on his stomach.
They'd never cuddled like that before, but it felt incredible. Welcoming their touch, their
affections, it felt right. Like he belonged nowhere else.
Kaeya realised in that moment that this situation could very quickly become his undoing.
And still, knowing that, he dove in head first.
Chapter End Notes
Hi! Hope you enjoyed it
🤗
First of all I want to apologise. I don't know if AO3 got hungry or if I'm just dumb
(which is honestly very likely), but some of your comments from last chapter
disappeared into the void. I am really sorry if yours was one of the one that perished
along the way. Know that I've read them all and I appreciate your support. You're
amazing and I love you. Interacting with you is my favourite part of this experience, so
I'm very sorry.
Whalicorn
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"You're missing the point entirely! How is a rock snake cooler than a whalicorn?"
"For the last time, Ajax, it's called a narwhal."
"It's a whale with a sword on its face, Li! Whatever you choose to call it, it doesn't erase the
fact that it's cooler than your overgrown murder scarf!"
"It's a dragon! It's an ancient being, a symbol of prosperity and protection and power!"
"Are they going to be all right?" the shop clerk asked Kaeya. To say that she looked
sympathetic was an understatement.
"I'm sure they'll live," Kaeya said, picking up a very tiny mint green onesie. He turned it
around, checked the price, and immediately set it back down again. "Could you show me
where the maternity clothes are?"
Kaeya followed the lady to the desired section, leaving Ajax and Zhongli to argue in the
plushie aisle, knowing fully well that the couple would eventually settle for buying both
plushies and probably something else just because they could.
It was an interesting experience to see himself surrounded by other pregnant folk. Many
omega ladies paraded around showing their bulging stomachs with pride, while hanging off
the arms of their mates. He did his best to ignore the looks they were sending him as he
browsed through the rows of clothes.
At fifteen weeks, his baby bump had grown large enough that even his favourite leggings had
begun to feel a little tight around the middle, so Zhongli had suggested that it was time to
expand his wardrobe for the next few months. In all honesty he was quite excited. Autumn
was right around the corner, and Kaeya was looking forward to sweater weather. Liyue
fashion industry had the cutest options.
But the excitement died down as he looked through the racks. For an omega, Kaeya was
taller than average, which meant that many of the clothes he'd been looking forward to try on
were too short on him. The sleeves of the blue cable knit cardigan he'd been eyeing across the
store didn't reach his wrists, let alone his knuckles, like he preferred during the cooler
months. And the comfortable joggers with little golden peacock feathers were too short on
his legs, not covering his ankles at all.
It made him want to cry, which was absurd of course, but he was hormonal and irrational and
he just wanted to wear something comfortable and cute.
He tried to be discreet while wiping away his tears, but the lady that reached for the cardigan
he'd just been holding still sent him a look. It was a look he recognised very well, and for a
second he worried that his contact had slipped from his eye. Then he realised that she wasn't
judging him for his eye but for his pregnancy instead.
"Bet you're really regretting spreading your legs now, huh?" she told him an eyebrow arching
up her forehead.
"Pardon?" Kaeya frowned, looking around just in case she wasn't talking to him, but to his
dismay, there was no one else in their immediate vicinity.
"Don't play dumb. You spread your legs for the wrong Alpha, and he knocked you up and left
without even claiming you. Bet you're really regretting it now, huh?" she continued. "My
advice? You better get rid of it while you can. No Alpha in their right mind will mate you if
that means taking care of someone else's brat."
So people like that still existed. Kaeya wondered if he could get away with decking a
pregnant woman for telling him that he should terminate his pregnancy, and claim that he was
acting in self defense. Instead, he stood to his full height and eyed her down.
"Interesting. I don't remember asking for your opinion," Kaeya smirked, venom dripping
from his words like rain. "The funny thing is that you assume I'd be so desperate for an Alpha
knot that I'd put their interests above the safety and happiness of my own child. Here's the
thing, sweetheart; just because you decided to settle for the first knothead that was desperate
enough to breed someone with a face like yours, it doesn't mean that the rest of the world
doesn't have standards."
Their scents enveloped him before he felt their presence, but then Zhongli had his arm around
Kaeya's waist and Ajax pressed his hand to his lower back, and he felt like he held the world
in the palms of his hands when the woman's eyes widened under their glares.
"As you can see, my standards are sky-high. Next time, try worrying about yourself," he said
sweetly, his smile almost predatory. "Maybe you won't look like an idiot, then."
The woman looked like she was torn between crying and shouting at him, but the presence of
the two alphas clearly intimidated her enough that she chose to take her resentment
somewhere else. He could swear he'd heard her sniffle as she walked away.
"Fuck, that was hot," he heard Ajax whisper. It was like he wasn't even aware the words had
been said out loud.
"Kaeya, darling, why did you go off on your own?" Zhongli asked, his hand dropping from
around Kaeya's middle. "We've been looking everywhere for you."
"You were too busy acting like toddlers in the plushie section, so I decided to be the
responsible adult and actually try to stick to the original plan," he said, stepping away from
them to give the clothes another once over, but the frustration soon settled over him again
when every item seemed too small for his long limbs.
"See anything you like?" Ajax asked, picking up a hoodie that was so big it looked more like
a dress. "You'd look cute in this."
Kaeya sighed. On him, the hoodie looked like any other item of clothing, but it was the
closest thing to a comfortable fit that he could find so far, so he grabbed the hanger from
Ajax's hand and folded it over his arm.
"Okay. I'm done, let's go," he said, pushing past Zhongli and Ajax and making a beeline
towards the cashier.
Zhongli followed close behind. "That's not nearly enough to clothe you for the next few
months, Kaeya. Autumn is settling fast, and you need warmer options for when you go out."
"It gets cold in Liyue," Ajax added, holding onto the damned blue cardigan to show it to
Kaeya. "The proximity to the sea makes the cold bite harder. It's the humidity, you see. In
Snezhnaya the cold is a little drier." He paused, noticing the little bunny plushie that came
with the cardigan, tucked in the pocket. "Look how cute this is! Will you take it?"
Kaeya wasn't sure what it was, if the stress of being in a shop filled with people, or the
previous encounter with that unpleasant woman, or the hormones, or the fact that he would
never feel cute while he was carrying because nothing fucking fit, or everything combined,
but he found himself crying again, his tears stubbornly rolling down his cheeks. He tried to
hide them, to no avail, because Zhongli was by his side immediately, hands sweetly cradling
Kaeya's cheeks and brushing his tears away.
"It's okay," he was saying, his voice steady and patient. "Please tell me why you're crying."
"Because I'm hormonal," Kaeya sniffed, sounding about as miserable as he was feeling.
"Because people are rude. Because I'm frustrated."
Again, he felt Ajax's hand gently touch the small of his back, a solid support.
"Do you want to go home, and maybe try shopping some other day?" Ajax suggested.
That actually sounded great. He just wanted to leave and get into his nest where he could
cuddle up to his warm blankets and be naked and not have to worry about clothes at all. So he
nodded, wiping his tears with the sleeves of his shirt, and immediately the two alphas guided
him out of the shop and back into the car.
Zhongli asked at some point during the ride back if Kaeya wanted to talk about what had
happened, but respected Kaeya's silence when he remained quiet, with his eyes pinned on the
rushing landscape.
He was thankful for their patience. As his pregnancy progressed, Kaeya knew that he was
becoming more of a hassle than he thought he'd be. He'd often snap at the couple, cry over
minor inconveniences, and isolate himself for hours on end. And through it all, Zhongli and
Ajax had remained incredibly patient and kind, enduring Kaeya's moods with grace and
respect.
And that was doing things to Kaeya. Things that were only making the endless storm of his
emotions become even more convoluted. Things that were making him see Zhongli and Ajax
in a different light. Things that were starting to make him long for their presence in his life.
And that was dangerous. For his heart, for his soul, for his mental sanity.
Upon arriving home, Kaeya toed off his shoes and walked up the stairs to go to his room. But
as his foot touched the first step, he felt cool fingers wrap around his hand.
"Kaeya, please talk to us?" Ajax asked, thumb absently running along his inner wrist, right
over where Kaeya's scent gland was located. It was incredibly intimate and soothing, and he
hated himself for loving the way it felt.
"Nothing fits," he said, eyes still following the path of Ajax's thumb. "Look at me, I'm not
normal. I'm not pretty and small and delicate like other omegas, male or female. My options
are to look like I've given up on life during pregnancy, or to wear clothes that aren't made to
fit my stupid noodle limbs."
To his surprise, it was Zhongli that held him, this time. He'd wrapped both arms around him
from behind, his hands gently laying on the bump as he often did to feel close to his child. "I
don't understand your frustrations, but I see you're hurt," he said, his baritone tickling Kaeya's
ear in the sweetest way. "Give me a couple of days to do some research and I'll find a place
that will present more inclusive sizing to accommodate your needs. You're right, you're not
built like an average Omega, Kaeya, but that is what has drawn us to you to begin with."
"And don't ever say you're not pretty," Ajax scolded, booping Kaeya's nose with his finger.
"You're stunning. Like, I thought I'd reached peak gay when I started simping for Zhongli,
but then you had the audacity to exist and look like that."
"Yes, I agree. It is fairly inconsiderate of you to look that good," Zhongli said. Kaeya could
feel him nod where he'd rested his chin on Kaeya's shoulder. His cheeks flared bright red.
"Not only that but you're also intelligent, quick witted-"
"A linguist, Li! Have you seen what that tongue do? He speaks Snezhnayan and Liyuen! And
I swear I've heard him curse in Sumerian." Ajax threw his hands up. "Archons have mercy,
can you please leave something for the rest of us?"
Oh, they were trouble. Kaeya was smiling, laughing even, their exaggerated praising made
him feel welcome, like he'd found home in the non-existent space between Ajax's honest
banter, and Zhongli's elegant observations. He felt like he'd found his place in the world, and
it was unbelievably painful.
"Can we just cuddle for the rest of the day?" Kaeya asked, biting his lip as he shifted from
foot to foot, entirely aware of how needy he sounded. "In... In my nest?"
He felt Zhongli tense behind him, and immediately he regretted the words. Of course they
didn't want to get into Kaeya's nest. It was such an intimate and private place for an omega,
he might as well just have invited them for a threesome. Kaeya felt mortified as he untangled
himself from Zhongli's solid hold. He'd asked them to stay away from his room for a reason,
he'd told them that he didn't want their scents in his little sanctuary, and now he was virtually
disregarding his own rules for a cuddle with two alphas he wasn't even romantically involved
with.
"Kaeya-"
"Don't!" Kaeya croaked, his throat tight around the word as he stopped Zhongli from saying
anything else. "Please don't say anything. I take it back. I was feeling vulnerable and
emotional and I spoke without thinking, so please do disregard my offer. I want you nowhere
near my nest. Or my room. Or myself," he said, swatting away Ajax's hand as he tried to hold
Kaeya's.
"It's okay. We're not upset. Just please calm down, we can talk about it," said Ajax, looking
not unlike a rejected puppy.
But Kaeya merely shook his head and climbed the stairs two at a time to go hide in his room.
He couldn't deal with the overwhelming emotions that blanketed over his heart. There was
too much happening, and he didn't have enough emotional strength to dissect what he was
feeling.
The last time he'd felt that overwhelmed, he'd been just a little boy, too small to understand
why his mama wouldn't come home anymore, why the big man with red hair was telling him
he was his new dad, or why the boy he used to play with was holding his hand was calling
him brother. Crepus had been incredibly patient with him, too. He'd allowed Kaeya to take
his time to adjust to his new life as a Ragnvindr, and provided everything he needed to have a
safe upbringing. He had hired the best tutors in Mondstadt to teach Kaeya and develop his
academic skills, he'd encouraged Kaeya to dance, he'd even promised to support him on his
endeavour to make dancing his career.
Now, as an adult, he felt as scared and unsure of the world around him and the future he was
building for himself. He was feeling things he'd never felt before, things he would rather not
think too hard about. And despite being in the constant company of one or both alphas,
Kaeya couldn't help but to feel incredibly alone.
Every little touch, every shred of proximity made him want to cry. He hadn't realised how
affection-sterved he was until Ajax and Zhongli came into his life. And he didn't want- He
couldn't let them get too close. Because he was getting attached. And if he got attached, then
the inevitable separation was going to hurt more.
Kaeya curled up in his bed and tried to ignore the empty space that surrounded him. Space
that he could be sharing with someone else. Space that would forever be empty because he
refused to lose anyone else in his life. He already lost too much. So he'd have to learn to
come to peace with his own loneliness, because that was the best option for him. After his
mother, after Crepus, and Diluc, and everyone else he grew to love, if he lost anyone else he
would fall apart.
His isolation was for his own good. Ajax and Zhongli were married, with a baby on the way,
and as soon as their baby came, Kaeya's purpose would be over. He was dispensable.
He swore to himself he wasn't going to cry anymore. But as he cuddled closer to his pillows,
he allowed his heart to mourn, just for a moment. And when his tears dried up and his head
felt heavy, and his heart a little lighter, he found himself drifting off to sleep.
Hunger, however, stopped him from fully succumbing to his exhaustion. And though he
would have ignored it in the past, now he had to worry about the little one he was hosting in
his body. So he got off the bed and grabbed the light robe Ajax had gifted him the week
before. It was made with a very light silk in a very pretty shade of gold that felt amazing on
his skin. Kaeya suspected it had cost more than his monthly rent back in the Lower Town.
The house was quiet as he silently padded down the stairs, and he wondered if Zhongli and
Ajax had already gone off to sleep. He should probably have checked the time before
adventuring around the place, but if he was quiet enough he would probably not run the risk
of rousing the couple.
As expected, Ajax had prepared a plate for Kaeya and set it in the fridge for him to heat up
when he felt hungry. He had to remember to thank the man, come morning. In fact, he should
probably apologise to the both of them for his volatile behaviour. Kaeya was aware of how
difficult he was, and though he tried to keep his moods under control, he knew that he was
being unfair with them.
"Kaeya?"
He hadn't expected company, so to hear Zhongli's voice so close caused him to jump in
surprise, his hand accidentally flinging the pair of chopsticks into the air.
"Shit, don't do that!" he gasped, hand on his chest in an attempt to calm his racing heart.
"You'll give me a heart attack."
"Apologies. It was far from my intention to startle you," Zhongli said, easily smiling at
Kaeya.
Kaeya hadn't dared to turn on the lights, the moon was full and bright in the sky, and the large
windows allowed enough light for him to move around comfortably. But the way the light hit
Zhongli's face was the very definition of art. He looked ethereal almost, his eyes a subdued
honey-gold that were quite shamelessly raking over Kaeya's figure.
He was mildly aware of his nakedness under the light robe, and the way the collar parted
down his chest before stopping at the loose knot at his waist. The silence stretched thin as
they just stared at each other, and then Zhongli held out his hand for Kaeya to take.
"Will you allow me to hold you?"
Kaeya blinked. The microwave beeped, warning him that his food was ready and warm, but
Kaeya didn't dare move. Hell, he hardly dared to breathe.
"Why?" he asked, but his hand planted itself on Zhongli's, and those warm, warm fingers
closed around him, to gently tug him closer.
"I care about you," Zhongli said. "We both do. I understand our circumstances are a little
unorthodox, but while you're under our roof, you're a part of our pack. It's my duty as pack
Alpha to ensure that my family is happy."
Kaeya tried not to think of the concept of family when it came to Ajax and Zhongli, so he
forced himself to focus on the way he pressed himself to Zhongli's chest, his eyes closed as
he breathed in his scent. He smelled amazing, like incense and musk and earth. Kaeya wanted
to burrow his nose in his neck, to bottle his scent up and revisit it every time he felt unsure of
himself, everytime he felt scared or lonely.
Their height difference wasn't ridiculously drastic, both Zhongli and Ajax were about a head
taller than him, but still, Kaeya felt small and protected in their embrace. It was an incredible
sensation, that sent him years back to when Diluc would hold him when they were children.
"We should talk about what happened today," Zhongli said, pulling back enough to softly
cradle Kaeya's face in his hand. "Why did you panic?"
Kaeya closed his eyes and leaned instinctively into the touch, his lips absently pressing to the
palm of Zhongli's hand. "Because I am aware of how inappropriate my proposition was.
You're a married couple. An unmated omega asking you to join them in their nest was
insensitive and crude."
"You're not just any omega, though." Kaeya's eyes snapped open as Ajax walked into the
kitchen, his hair wet and dripping onto the towel around his neck. "You're our omega. You're
carrying our baby. I thought I had made it clear last time something like this happened,
Kaeya. We're here for you. No matter what you need, we are here for you."
Kaeya knew Ajax was talking in a very broad sense, but to hear him virtually claim Kaeya as
theirs was like a stab through the heart with a blazing hot iron. He lowered his eyes to the
floor, his hand clenching and unclenching as he tried to regulate his breathing.
"Kaeya, look at me," Zhongli asked, his voice a little quieter. "You're a pregnant omega with
very specific needs. We're here to tend to those needs, no matter what they are. If you want us
to cuddle with you in your nest, then we'll be more than happy to oblige. But we won't know
unless you ask. So please, strip your fears and inhibitions. Anything you want, anything you
need, ask, and you shall receive."
"We do mean anything," Ajax told him pointedly. "Be creative. I'm sure It'll be amusing to
watch Zhongli fumble to please you."
Before Zhongli could retaliate the tease and start a bickering war, Kaeya buried his face back
into his strong chest, and nodded.
"I will try my best to rely more on you. I know I said that before but old habits are difficult to
break."
"So long as you remember that you're not alone, I'm sure it'll get easier with time," Ajax
smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. He looked so handsome like this, in a simple white
t-shirt and grey shorts. Kaeya had to force himself to look away.
"That said, Ajax and I would like to join you for a cuddle pile in your nest if the invitation
still stands," Zhongli let go of Kaeya to stand next to his husband, his arm wrapping loosely
around his waist. "After you eat of course. Would you like that?"
Would Kaeya like that? Would he like to fall asleep feeling safe and cared for? Would he like
to wake up next to these two men who had taken him into their family, even if only
temporarily, and gone out of their way to try to make him happy and comfortable?
"I suppose that would be agreeable," Kaeya smiled, finally taking his bowl of noodles out of
the microwave. "Unless one of you snores. Then you're out."
Later, after Kaeya had fed himself, after Zhongli showered and dressed for the night, Kaeya
lay in his nest, sandwiched between the two alphas; his head on Ajax's chest, while Zhongli
spooned him from behind. It was tense and awkward at first, but then Ajax started talking
about the last time he'd been part of a cuddle pile, back in Snezhnaya, with his brothers and
sisters piled on him like hyperactive blankets. Kaeya fell asleep to the sound of his voice,
lulled by the stories of his homeland.
Chapter End Notes
Hope you enjoyed it!
🤗
I almost forgot to post today, what a mess. I'm an exhausted little bean. I'm sorry 😩
Big Fat Embarrassing Crush
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Kaeya woke up before dawn. He wasn't sure what exactly had woken him up, but he
suspected it had something to do with Ajax moving around in bed next to him. Slowly, he
untangled himself from the man's tight hold and slid off the bed, his mouth dry, his throat
parched.
Since he'd given them permission to join him in his nest, both Zhongli and Ajax often chose
to sleep with him, claiming it helped them sleep better, maybe because his scent was
naturally soothing now that he was carrying.
For the past week, however, Zhongli had been away on a business trip to Sumeru, so Ajax
had commandeered Kaeya's bed since his absence. It was reassuring in a way, but Ajax was
not a particularly peaceful sleeper, which for Kaeya, who often woke up with a click of a
lock, was the closest thing to torture he could possibly experience.
He moved towards the balcony, wrapping himself in his favourite silk gown, and waited for
the sun to rise. Never would the colours of Liyue not feel magical to him. Everything was so
golden and warm and wonderful, he couldn't help but to be in awe of what nature had
created.
Night started fading into day, as the clouds in the sky turned from deep indigo, to purple, to
golden, and Kaeya felt like he was breathing for the first time. If he could stop time and just
live in that moment forever, just appreciating the world for what it was, he would give
everything for a chance like that.
"What are you doing up so early?" Ajax called. He joined Kaeya on the balcony, his head
struggling to breach the collar of his hoodie. When he finally succeeded, his hair was sitcking
out in every which direction, a mess that Kaeya lovingly tried to tame by gently carding his
fingers through the red strands.
"I just wanted to see the sunrise. Will you join me?" Kaeya asked, shifting on the seat to
make room for Ajax, who sleepily nodded and squeezed himself next to him. His hand
automatically found the bump of Kaeya's stomach and lay there, just absently rubbing around
like he was greeting his child good morning.
The first boats were starting to make port in the harbour, large vessels transporting passengers
from Inazuma, and small fishing boats returning from night trips. It was such a scenic little
moment, Kaeya's fingers ached to take a picture off it.
"Hungry?" Ajax asked, his head now lying on Kaeya's shoulder. "I can cook something nice
for you today. Whatever you want. I have the day off so we can go somewhere nice, too."
Kaeya hummed, thinking about it for a moment. "I could eat something, yeah," he said,
chuckling when Ajax's hair tickled his cheek as he moved to look at him. "I don't know
where we could go, though. It's a bit cold to go for a walk."
"I'm sure we'll think of something in the meantime."
Autumn had settled fast, but it felt like he'd been struggling to keep cool in the middle of a
sweltering summer not long ago. He liked the cooler months, though. There was a special
magic about them that helped him feel more at ease. Ajax seemed like he preferred the cold
as well. Maybe it reminded him of Snezhnaya.
"Ajax?" Kaeya called, and he waited for the man to acknowledge him to continue. "Do you
miss home?"
Ajax hummed, his thumb feeling the salience of Kaeya's bellybutton. "Sometimes. I miss my
family the most, though. Since I married Zhongli I've learned to love Liyue, and to think of it
as my home. But my family is what gives me that feeling of homesickness. Makes sense?"
"I don't know," Kaeya mused, his eyes following the birds that flew overhead; a little flock of
colourful finches, soaring towards the docks. "I don't really know what home is anymore."
There was a brief silence where Ajax adjusted himself in his seat to better look at Kaeya. He
kept his own eyes firmly on the horizon, afraid of what he might find should he look at Ajax
now.
"Home is where your heart is, isn't it? Sometimes that's a place. Sometimes that's a person. To
me, home is Zhongli, but it also is my mother, my siblings, my nieces and nephews, my
grandma's borscht," Ajax said, still carefully eyeing Kaeya.
He thought about that for a moment. Long ago, he would have said home was Diluc, Crepus,
the winery here he'd grown up in. Now he felt homeless. Thinking about Crepus hurt, and
thinking about Diluc brought all the bitterness back with a vengeance. He loved him, but he
also loathed what he had almost forced him to do.
"What is home to you, Kaeya?" Ajax asked quietly, his voice so tender it made Kaeya's chest
ache.
"I don't think I have one," he truthfully said. "Everytime I think I've found my home,
something happens and it falls apart. Down it crumbles like a pile of leave in the wind."
"You know, I've just realised something." Ajax turned to face the horizon as well, and Kaeya
felt like he could breathe a little easier. "We've known each other for, what, roughly six
months? Give or take a few weeks. And we've shared a roof for almost five of those. We've
talked to each other a lot, shared a lot of ideas back and forth. And yet, I know close to
nothing about you."
Kaeya smiled. Ah yes, the art of talking about himself without saying anything of substance
was a talent he'd honed as a child. Kaeya had been keeping secrets for longer than he'd lived
with the Ragnvindr family, secrets that were only privy to himself, and his brother.
"What do you want to know?" he asked, glancing at Ajax. "I can't promise to answer all your
questions but I can try to satisfy your curiosity."
Ajax sat up a little straighter, looking far too eager. It vaguely reminded Kaeya of an overexcited puppy, endearing if a little concerning.
"There's so much I want to know I don't even know where to start! All I know is that you're
from Mondstadt." Ajax pouted, a look too childish for his handsome features.
"Actually that's not entirely accurate," Kaeya told him, his fingers playing with the straps of
his dressing gown. "I mean, yes, I was born in Mondstadt, but my parents were from
Khaenri'ah."
The look in Ajax's face was enough to make Kaeya laugh.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"My mother used to be was a maid in a Lord's household, and my father worked the fields,"
Kaeya clarified. "They ran away from their homeland in search of a better life for their future
family."
"I thought Khaenri'ah was a closed nation. No one gets in, no one gets out." Ajax nearly
squeaked, his voice raising to a pitch Kaeya was surprised could come out of his mouth. "No,
wait, I want to hear the whole story."
Of course he did. Kaeya understood now why Zhongli enjoyed talking so much. When his
regular audience was so eager to listen, it did invite some degree of indulgence on the part of
the lecturer. He chuckled, the sound a quiet breath. Maybe he could unveil just a little of his
past, just enough to satiate some of Ajax's voracious curiosity.
"There's not much to say. My mother had me young, just a couple of years after she arrived in
Mondstadt. She always said that my father was the love of her life. I don't know how, or why.
He treated us like garbage. He wasn't a very nice man, you see. He died when I was five, and
a few months after that, my mother passed as well," Kaeya said, looking out at the sea, a
blanket of serenity.
He could still vaguely remember his mother, the eyes that he had inherited, the smile that
never quite reached her eyes, the way she moved when she danced under the moonlit night.
He'd inherited that from her, too. In fact, Crepus often told him that he was a carbon copy of
his mother. From his features to his hair, to his build, she lived in him.
"She was beautiful. Her hands were always cold, but her touch was always gentle."
"Much like you, then," Ajax pointed out as he held one of Kaeya's hands in his.
"Much like me," He confirmed. "I was adopted by the family that had employed my parents,
at the time. He was a single father who had a son a couple of years older than myself. I got to
have a father, this time. A real father, not that excuse for a man that had hurt my mother and
me over the years. He was kind and patient, and he taught me that no matter what, I must stay
true to myself. My brother and I had always been very close. I looked up to him, you know? I
loved my new family, even if things hadn't been easy before that. They never made me feel
like I was an outsider, like I didn't belong."
"What happened?" Ajax asked, his fingers were tight around Kaeya's.
"Father died. My brother was consumed by grief, and lost sight of what mattered. We had a
falling out and haven't spoken since then," Kaeya shrugged, licking his lips. "I miss him
every day."
"Have you tried to reach out to him?"
"No. Nor will I try to. He believes I'm not capable of taking care of myself, that I will ruin
myself if I don't do as he says." Kaeya stood up and combed his fingers through his long hair.
"Maybe one day things will change. Now is not the time."
Ajax stood after him, and held both of Kaeya's hands in his. "Thank you for telling me. And
for what it's worth, as long as you're here with us, you can think of us as your home."
"I wonder how long that will last, before it comes falling down again," Kaeya mused, the
words a thought he hadn't meant to say out loud.
The frown in Ajax's features told him he'd heard him, but was choosing to keep his thoughts
to himself. Instead, he brought Kaeya's hands up to his lips and pressed a tender kiss to his
knuckles.
"Let's enjoy our day together, and leave the worries about the future for some other time,
shall we? I have my babies to feed," Ajax said, tapping his finger to Kaeya's nose.
"I'm pretty sure it's just the one," Kaeya laughed his hand fitting around the bump of his
stomach.
"You're forgetting that you, too, are baby," Ajax smiled, a teasing little quirk of his lips that
caused Kaeya's heart to give a little flutter. He could feel his face heating up and was glad
that Ajax had chosen that moment to drag both of them out of the room. "What would you
like to eat? I could make some Calla Lily seafood soup for you. Gotta feed you all the fish
now that Zhongli isn't around."
Kaeya could feel the smile on his lips as they made way down the stairs. In the past few
months, Ajax had made an effort to learn as many dishes from Kaeya's homeland as possible.
He claimed that he wanted his baby to be well versed in the culinary arts, but Kaeya knew it
was a way to make the transition of living away from Mondstadt a little less jarring. Zhongli
had mentioned in passing that one of the ways that kept Ajax from missing Snezhnaya too
much was by cooking and introducing its gastronomy in Liyue, sharing it with Zhongli and
the friends he'd made along the way.
"It brings people together. Cooking for others is, after all, an act of love," Zhongli had said,
smiling fondly as his husband moved around the kitchen with all the fluidity or water.
Kaeya hadn't understood it at first, but he could see how sharing something so personal could
tighten bonds.
So he'd sat at the fancy counter, his legs spread on the bench to better accommodate the
volume of his belly; and he watched with a smile as Ajax started working around the kitchen.
His hair was a mess but his smile didnt falter as he leaned against the sink to check the recipe
on his phone.
It was painfully domestic and impossibly endearing, and Kaeya found his thoughts drifting to
a future where he didn't have to think about leaving, where he didn't have to stop getting used
to Ajax's company. He thought about waking up just like he had that morning and so many
mornings before that, sandwiched between the two alphas he had come to care so much for,
going down to the kitchen and listening to Zhongli prattling about some thing or another,
while Ajax cooked them breakfast and chirped occasionally with a joke or an idea that would
leave Kaeya laughing until his stomach ached.
But that future wasn't in the cards for him. If anything, cursed as he was, Kaeya would end up
ruining their relationship somehow, and everything would go to shit, as it ought to do, and
he'd still end up heartbroken.
No. What he needed to do was to focus on delivering the baby, recovering from the
pregnancy, and leave Liyue, maybe return to Fontaine, and pursue his dance career like his
mother would have wanted.
His Mother who had the light of the moon in her eyes and the grace of the wind in her
movements. His Mother who would take little Kaeya's hands and dance with him under the
stars by the river near the winery. His Mother, whose voice had guided his first steps as he
danced barefoot among the birch trees.
Kaeya jumped a little when he felt Ajax's gentle touch on his cheek, a knuckle brushing away
a stray tear.
"A Mora for your thoughts," Ajax asked as he slid a bowl of soup across the counter. "You
were so far away just now. Take me with you."
"I am five all over again, and I am dancing barefoot next to a statue of the Seven. Old
Barbatos doesn't have his right wing anymore, and his hands have fallen out, but the moon is
so bright and the wind is cool and my mother's voice is carried by the breeze and I'm clumsy
on my feet. She smiles, Ajax, and the world will never know beauty like that again."
"I wish I could have met her," Ajax smiles, cupping Kaeya's cheek. "Do you think she would
have liked me?"
"You married the man you tried to bankrupt. She would have adored you," Kaeya laughed,
leaning subconsciously towards the touch, his lips pressing to the palm of his hand.
"Kaeya?"
"Hm?" blinking up at Ajax, Kaeya tilted his head.
"Will you take your coloured lens off while you're home with us? If you don't mind, that is.
I'm not saying you have to, mind, it's just... You don't have to hide. Not from me, and
certainly not from Zhongli," Ajax asked, his eyes moving across Kaeya's features as though
he wasn't sure where to focus. He settled for Kaeya's lips." We will lo- accept you as you are.
Don't feel the need to hide any part of you from us."
The tingling nervousness climbing up his back caused him to tense up for a moment. As a
rule, he didn't take his blue lens off unless it needed changing or if he was bathing. Every
time he looked at himself without it it was jarring. But Ajax and Zhongli had seen it before,
and Kaeya couldn't really see a reason not to. In fact, should the baby have the misfortune of
inheriting his curse, it would be better if the parents were acclimated with seeing it in a
regular basis.
"Okay," Kaeya nodded, pulling away from Ajax's gentle touch so he could carefully take his
lens off. It felt... unnatural. He felt oddly naked and vulnerable without it, but the way Ajax's
eyes lit up was enough of a reward for his discomfort. Maybe, just maybe he could get used
to it, to wear his curse with pride instead of fear. His mother had never hidden it, and Kaeya
has always thought she was a very brave woman for it. Very brave, or very reckless.
"Tsaritsa take me, I had forgotten how hot that is," Ajax whimpered, his head thudding
against the counter. "When will you stop?"
"If I didn't know any better I'd think you have a crush on me," Kaeya teased, poking his
finger on Ajax's cheek.
"What do you mean, you'd think? I thought I had been very clear about my big fat
embarrassing crush on you. It's like I'm fifteen all over again," Ajax whined.
Kaeya laughed, his head thrown back his shoulders shaking at Ajax's antics. Bantering with
him was always so refreshing. "I wonder what your husband has to say about that."
"What, you think Zhongli is any better than me? He's just better at hiding it," Ajax lifted his
head from the counter, and bit the air, a hair's breadth away from Kaeya's fingertip. "He'd
gobble you up if you gave him the chance."
"Maybe I'll give him the chance, then," Kaeya smirked, taking the bowl between his hands
and bringing it to his lips.
"Now you're just being unfair. Will you at least let me watch?"
The pout in Ajax's lips nearly caused Kaeya to choke on his soup, which would have been a
waste because it was delicious. He managed to set the bowl down before a disaster and
squished Ajax's cheeks in his hand.
"Eat, you menace. The soup is really good, so don't let it go cold."
They ate in a comfortable silence, and Kaeya offered to wash up as Ajax used the home gym
for a couple of hours. It had taken him a little while to realise that he'd been purring as he was
doing the washing up, and he touched the bump of his stomach with a small smile. It
wouldn't be forever, but damn it to the depths of the Abyss if he wasn't going to enjoy his life
with Ajax and Zhongli while he still could.
Chapter End Notes
Are you guys okay? Your comments on the last chapter had me rolling with laughter,
you sound a bit worried there. You good?
Thank you for the continuous support ♥ hope you enjoy this one!
Trigger
Chapter Notes
Content Warning: This chapter features mentions of trauma, very mild violence, sexual
content, and dubious consent.
If any of those themes make you uncomfortable, skip this one and stay safe.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
"Your hands are so big."
"They cover a lot of area," Zhongli agreed as he pressed himself closer to Kaeya's back, his
voice was a deep purr low in his throat. "Tell me when you're ready."
"I'm ready," Kaeya said, his head leaning back to lay on Zhongli's shoulder. "Go slow, okay?"
"Don't worry, I'll be very gentle with you," Zhongli promised, his lips pressed to Kaeya's
temple. "One, two, three."
"Oh, fuck. Fuck, Zhongli!" Kaeya melted into Zhongli's embrace, his body relaxing against
him. His voice was barely above a breezy moan. "That feels so fucking good. Just like that."
Zhongli's deep rumble of a laugh could be felt against Kaeya's back. "I didn't expect it to be
so heavy."
"And I'm only twenty-five weeks in, can you imagine when I'm closer to my due date?"
Kaeya chuckled, relishing in the temporary relief Zhongli had brought him just by holding
his belly up for a little while. "I think you can let go now."
Slowly, Zhongli lowered his hands, and with them the weight of the baby downed back on
Kaeya's front. He let out a small whine of protest, the relief he'd felt replaced again by the
familiar pressure against his bladder.
"No, wait, go back. Do it again," Kaeya pouted, looking down at the volume of his belly.
"I'm sorry," Zhongli tenderly said, gently kissing Kaeya's forehead. "I wish I could carry it for
you for a while."
"I know," Kaeya sighed as he slumped down on the couch.
Zhongli took the place next to him, but he let his hand land on Kaeya's stomach. Ever since
they started feeling the baby move a couple of weeks ago, both Ajax and Zhongli took every
chance they got to connect with their little one. It was the tenderness and happiness in their
eyes every time they felt the baby kick that warmed Kaeya's fluttering heart. The sheer love
they felt for their unborn baby never failed to bring him happiness.
"Hungry?"
"Not really," Kaeya sighed snuggling closer to Zhongli and laying his head on his shoulder.
"Is Ajax feeling better today?"
Zhongli shook his head, concern taking over his features. Ajax had been in a mental health
slump for a couple of days, now, and Zhongli had warned Kaeya to stay away from their
bedroom. Something at work had triggered his trauma, causing his moods to be volatile at
best, and Zhongli thought it was best if Kaeya kept his distance for a while.
"It doesn't feel right to just leave him alone like this," Kaeya sighed, his heart aching for the
young alpha.
He had learned early on that Ajax's trauma was something that not even Zhongli knew the
details to.
"Some secrets aren't meant to be shared. We're married, but we're still independent people.
He has the right to his privacy, and I have the right to mine," Zhongli had told him. "If Ajax
ever feels like he's ready to tell me, then I shall be here to listen. If that day never comes, then
that's his right. So long as he knows I'm here for him."
That had been months ago, when Ajax had first gotten into a slump. It had been a little
concerning, but by the end of the day Ajax had started to act a little more like himself, and by
the following morning he'd been back to normal, joking and bantering while cooking them a
simple breakfast.
Not this time. This time Ajax had been locked in his room and Zhongli had migrated to
Kaeya's apartment, temporarily. Every now and then the sound of something breaking echoed
through the house, and Kaeya could see the pain in Zhongli's eyes, the longing to be close to
his husband, to comfort him, and not being able to do so.
"I know it doesn't feel right, but I'm afraid that our presence might trigger his rut," Zhongli
sighed, holding Kaeya just a little tighter. "I've called his therapist and I've updated her on the
situation. She told me to stick to the plan, so I'm sticking to the plan."
They tried to watch a film after the sun had set, but neither Kaeya nor Zhongli could focus on
it when Ajax's pheromones started permeating the house. His distress was so thick Kaeya
could taste it. It wasn't often that either Alpha lost control of their scents, so Kaeya wasn't
used to the onslaught of hormones rising within himself as a response to Ajax's intoxicating
scent. Even the baby seemed to react to his distress by kicking up a storm within Kaeya's
womb.
Zhongli didn't seem any less affected than him. As an alpha himself, Kaeya could only
imagine how hard it was for him to control his urges to either fight to protect Kaeya and his
unborn child, or to run and protect the man that had made his agony so clear in the house.
"We should go to bed," Zhongli said between gritted teeth. "Your room is farther away, so the
scent should be milder, there."
Kaeya nodded, gladly following Zhongli to the other side of the house, up the stairs towards
his room. He didn't fail to notice the tension in Zhongli's shoulders, or the way his hands
curled into tight fists, or the clenching of his jaw. Kaeya felt bad for him, and he wanted to do
something to help him. To help both of them. But he couldn't think of anything, so he allowed
Zhongli his time in the shower and did his best to scent his pillow, a scent he knew was
soothing and comforting for the alpha. With luck, they would be able to get some sleep.
Hopefully, Ajax would feel better in the morning.
The small, sad smile on Zhongli's face as he lay next to Kaeya on his nest was heartbreaking.
"May I hold you?" Zhongli asked, his voice a whisper, a plea, and Kaeya nodded, shifting
closer to Zhongli so he could wrap his arms around him and burrow his nose into the curve of
Kaeya's neck.
"Is he going to be okay?" Kaeya asked.
"Eventually," Zhongli murmured against his skin. "Not any time soon, but eventually."
"Does this happen often?"
Zhongli was quiet for a while, the only sign he wasn't yet asleep was the steady caressing of
Kaeya's belly through his shirt. Then, quietly, he said, "No. Not like this. He gets into slumps
sometimes, but never like this. For as long as we've been married it must have happened
twice before, but never this severe. I don't know what to do."
Kaeya turned around in Zhongli's arms so he could face him. "We're here for him, Zhongli.
Even if we can't do much right now, we'll figure something out."
Kaeya fell asleep just like that, his face pressed to Zhongli's chest, his hand curled in his shirt.
But his sleep wasn't restful. If anything it had been a turbulent experience that had been
thankfully interrupted by Zhongli sometime before dawn.
"Kaeya, sweetheart, wake up."
Zhongli had been fully dressed and was shaking Kaeya by the shoulder as he softly called his
name. Kaeya had only to open his eyes to understand the urgency.
"What is that smell?"
"Ajax triggered his own rut. We have to leave, Kaeya," Zhongli said as he helped Kaeya sit
up in bed. "I'll help you get dressed, okay? I've already packed some essentials."
"Where are we going? We can't just leave him!" Kaeya protested, his words still slurred with
sleep, a yawn crawling up his jaw until he couldn't fight it anymore.
"Ajax's ruts are often extremely violent. He loses himself completely to his primal instincts.
His therapist has told me it's tied to his trauma as well, and that my presence aggravates
them," Zhongli handed Kaeya a nice warm jumper, and gently caressed his cheek. "We're
staying at Wangshu Inn for a few days."
Kaeya was halfway inside the jumper when he paused. "Wait, why? You're his husband.
You're a pack, aren't you? Why would you make it worse?"
"Because I'm alpha. Not only that, I'm the prime alpha of our pack, by seniority," Zhongli
told him, tugging Kaeya's shirt the rest of the way down. "I'm not his husband, I'm a threat."
"Well, I'm not."
Zhongli blinked at Kaeya, his eyebrow arching in confusion. "Yes, I think that's quite clear,"
he said, waving to the obvious bump in Kaeya's stomach.
"What I mean is, I'm genetically programmed to deal with alphas in rut. Besides, have you
seen how pregnant I am? Ajax wouldn't lay a finger on me."
"Kaeya, no. I know what you're thinking and I'm not going to risk it. Ajax is unpredictable on
a good day, let alone during a rut," Zhongli firmly said. "Absolutely not."
"Doesn't it hurt you to know how much he's suffering alone in there?" Kaeya snapped as he
stood off the bed. "If there's anything I can do for him, why shouldn't I try?"
"Don't you dare!" Zhongli's voice raised in frustration, and Kaeya took a step back. "Leaving
him right now is the hardest thing I could possibly do, but it's the right thing! What if
something happens? What if he hurts the baby? It would destroy him when he came to his
senses to know that he has hurt his child!" Zhongli argued back, his eyes bright with unshed
tears.
Trying to swallow his own frustration, Kaeya shook his head, and brought both his hands to
cradle Zhongli's face. "Let me try," Kaeya breathed, his voice shaking. "If I see that he's too
violent, I promise I'll leave and we can go to the inn. But please let me try. I don't want to
leave him alone. Not when he's hurting so much. Zhongli, I can protect the baby, too."
He could see the walls of resolve crumbling steadily down as he spoke and soon Zhongli was
slumping down on the bed, his head in his hands, his shoulders a defeated arch. "It's so risky,
Kaeya. If anything happens to you, to either of you, I wouldn't forgive myself."
"I know. But I have a feeling Ajax wouldn't hurt a pregnant omega. Rutting alphas are lead
by instinct, and right now I'm the farthest thing from a threat he could encounter. Instinct
would tell him to protect, maybe to breed, not to harm."
Zhongli lifted his head and met Kaeya's eyes. "What if he tries to breed you, then?"
"Would you be okay with that?" Kaeya asked sitting next to Zhongli.
"Would you?" Zhongli asked back. "He can be... intense during sex. I can only imagine how
he'd be during a rut."
"If mounting me will help his pain, then I will allow him to, with your consent. You're still
his husband, Zhongli. If Ajax sleeping with me will cause you pain, then I will turn him
down," Kaeya gently took Zhongli's hand and gave it a quick squeeze.
"It's you Kaeya," Zhongli smiled, squeezing Kaeya's hand back. "How could it cause me pain
when it's you?"
Of course Zhongli wouldn't see him as a threat. Kaeya was a good friend, their child's
biological carrier, and they were fond of him, but neither of them cared so much that they'd
think of Kaeya as a potential partner. In any other circumstance the thought might have hurt,
but Kaeya had fallen in love with their love, and the trust they had in one another had always
warmed him up from the inside. He could only hope that one day he'd be so lucky as to find
someone, anyone, who'd love him half as much as Ajax and Zhongli loved each other.
"I will go to him, and I'll attempt to calm him down," Kaeya said, standing up again.
"Promise you'll leave if he shows signs of violence. Don't let anything happen to you or the
baby, Kaeya. I will be waiting for you here, ready to leave whenever you need."
"I promise."
Kaeya sucked in a deep breath before undressing. Zhongli helped him into his favourite silk
gown, and bent down to press a kiss to Kaeya's belly.
"Protect your mama, okay? And tell daddy I love him."
Kaeya carded his fingers through Zhongli's hair, before leaving the safe comfort of his room.
Stepping out into the house was like hitting a concrete wall. Ajax's scent was so intoxicating
it almost made him choke. No wonder Zhongli had looked so worried, the mixture of arousal
and pure rage in the air was almost enough to change his mind. But he couldn't. He couldn't
just go back and leave Ajax to suffer through his rut alone.
Kaeya knew his own heats were torture to go through on his own, rare though they were due
to the suppressants he insisted on taking. He couldn't even fathom what Ajax was going
through, as he got closer and closer to the couple's bedroom.
He paused at the door, ears alert to any sound coming from inside. He could hear whining,
maybe growling, a pitiful mix that urged Kaeya's hand to curl around the knob. He took a
deep breath, almost gagging on the strong scent, and opened the door.
If walking around the house was dizzying, entering the bedroom was mind-numbing. For a
moment, Kaeya's entire body froze; his omega instincts locking his limbs in the face of a
threat. Then he saw movement in the corner of the room where Ajax was pressing his
forehead to the cool glass of his window. His chest was bare, shoulders tense, and the lightwash jeans hung loosely around his slender hips. Had Kaeya not been so worried, he would
have taken his sweet time appreciating the man standing before him. As it was, he steadied
his racing heart, and he willed his legs to move again.
"Ajax?" he softly called, forcing himself to take a step further into the room. The lights were
off, but the moon was round and high in the sky, the silvery light reflected on Ajax's freckled
shoulders, heaving as he struggled to steadily breathe. Kaeya glanced down, at the way his
fists clenched, knuckles white. "Alpha?"
He got no answer. He didn't even get a reaction, so Kaeya decided to do something he hadn't
done in years. He'd allowed his near immaculate control on his pheromones to drop, and he
tried to reach out with his scent instead. As he got closer to Ajax, he started noticing slight
changes in his demeanour. His shoulders were gradually relaxing, his breathing had become
deeper and slower, undoubtedly chasing Kaeya's scent as it enveloped him.
"Ajax, it's me," Kaeya quietly announced as he stood next to the alpha. Slowly, he reached
out to gently touch his fingertips to Ajax's shoulder.
And then, he was stumbling backwards, his cheek burning as Ajax towered over him. Kaeya
yelped as he lost his footing, one hand breaking his fall, the other instinctively protecting his
belly as he gracelessly fell to the floor. It took him a moment to realise he'd been slapped
hard across the face, so hard in fact he could feel the trickle of blood on his cheek. He cursed
himself for being so reckless. He should have made sure Ajax was aware of his presence
before touching him.
"I'm sorry, alpha," Kaeya apologised, his voice trembling, tears gathering at the corners of his
eyes. Frustration or fear, only the stars would know.
Ajax had been advancing on him, his eyes dark, dull, lacking any hint of emotion, it was
eerie and unsettling, but Kaeya didn't want to give up on him.
"I could sense your distress, and I thought being close to the baby would help you feel
better," Kaeya said, doing his best not to look Ajax in the eye, lest that be seen as a
provocation.
Ajax crouched down next to Kaeya, and pressed his nose to his neck, breathing in his scent.
"Omega."
"Yes," Kaeya breathed, his heart hammering in his chest, his hands trembling at their
proximity. "I'm here, alpha."
Ajax's hand landed possessively on Kaeya's thigh, and he pulled him close so he could lift
him off the floor. Kaeya let out an embarrassing squeak, but he held onto Ajax's shoulders as
the man crossed the room to deposit Kaeya on the bed. The sheets smelled strongly of him,
any hint of Zhongli's scent long erased by Ajax's recent hormonal spike. Kaeya stretched out
on them, and kept his demeanour soft and demure, even submissive. Apart from Ajax's first
reaction, he'd been fairly careful with Kaeya, so he was careful to keep it that way.
Ajax climbed the bed, and crawled over Kaeya, his eyes deep and intense, bottomless pits of
endless blue, and it made Kaeya's body react in a way it hadn't in a long time. He could feel
wetness between his thighs, the simmer of arousal in the depths of his belly. This was what
his body was meant for, and yet, it's been so long since anyone had looked at him with so
much desire, he couldn't help but to feel nervous, shy, even.
Ajax's hungry gaze swept over his body, slow and purposeful, drinking in the sight of a
willing and pliant omega beneath him. Then his gaze paused on his swollen stomach.
"Baby?"
"Mn," Kaeya smiled, gasping softly when Ajax's hand felt around his belly, his touch
scorching over the thin fabric of Kaeya's gown. "Your baby, alpha."
"My baby," Ajax repeated, a look of wonder flashing in his eyes as he lowered his face and
kissed along Kaeya's belly. "My omega. My baby."
Kaeya liked the sound of that way too much, but he ignored the growing heartache, and
turned his attention to the alpha on top of him. Ajax nipped at the skin on his stomach, his
hand sliding into the part of his delicate gown to touch directly on Kaeya's warm skin. His
fingers were firm around the swell in Kaeya's middle, but their wandering stuttered when he
felt the baby move against his palm. Something seemed to light up in his eyes, then, because
he was fast and surprisingly nimble as he untied the strings holding Kaeya's gown up to
shove the offending fabric off his skin.
"More babies," Ajax said, looking up to meet Kaeya's eyes. "I will give omega many babies."
Kaeya let out a deep moan when he felt Ajax's lips closing around one of his nipples, those
spidery fingers travelling along Kaeya's thigh to grab at the flesh of his buttocks. His back
arched off the mattress, his eyes squeezed shut as for the first time in what felt like a small
eternity, he shut off his thoughts and allowed his body to just feel.
The scent in the room had shifted into something different something thicker and sweeter,
like fresh honey. Ajax nudged Kaeya's knees open, his hips slotting perfectly between the
omega's thighs. Kaeya could feel him pressing against the underside of his belly through the
rough fabric of his jeans; long and eager and so impossibly hard.
Ajax's lips moved up Kaeya's chest, along the exposed column of his neck, until they claimed
Kaeya's mouth, like he wanted to drink him in, like he wanted to consume his very soul
through their heated kiss. It was so easy to melt within his embrace, his body responding
eagerly to every caress, every touch, every breath that ghosted over his skin.
Then Ajax pulled back, the slow rutting he'd been doing against Kaeya's belly frustrating him
enough to make him glare at the jeans still hanging on his hips. With a grunt, the alpha got
off the bed and shed his final layer, before grabbing Kaeya by the hips and turning him over.
"Whoa- Ajax- Carefu- Oh!" Kaeya gasped, his face pressed against the pillow as Ajax's
tongue eagerly pressed into him. Kaeya's slick coated the backs of his thighs, and Ajax was
chasing after every trace of it like nectar.
"Pretty omega," Ajax praised, his voice sounding primal and deep in his chest, causing Kaeya
to tremble in anticipation. "So sweet."
"Please," Kaeya moaned, desperately pressing his face into the pillow and catching a hint of
Zhongli's scent in it. He felt feverish with arousal and delirious with want. Faint though the
scent was, when mixed with Ajax's it became intoxicating in a way Kaeya had never
experienced before. "Please. Give it to me, alpha."
Strong fingers grasped his hips, and Kaeya arched his back, presenting to the rutting alpha
behind him. And then Ajax slid into him, hard and desperate and leaving very little room for
Kaeya to adjust to the absurd size of him before he was thrusting into Kaeya at a breakneck
pace. Kaeya could feel the air leaving his lungs with every thrust, the painful grasp of Ajax's
large hands on his hips as he kept him still.
Kaeya hadn't realised how much he'd craved intimacy like that during his pregnancy until that
moment. Zhongli had been right, though, Ajax was fucking into him with unhinged urgency,
chasing after his pleasure and caring very little for anything that didn't involve breeding
Kaeya until he was so full he wouldn't be able to move without feeling him dripping down
his thighs.
The sounds echoing in the room were absolutely filthy; between Kaeya's moaning and the
sound of skin slapping hard against skin, Kaeya could feel his climax fast approaching, and
by the way Ajax's knot began to catch on the rim of his ass, he could safely assume the alpha
was close too.
Ajax bent over him, his nose pressed hungrily against Kaeya's neck, his teeth grazing over
the sensitive spot where his pheromones were the strongest. Kaeya almost begged him for it,
almost gave into his most primal desires and begged for his mating bite.
"I'm gonna pump so many pups into you," Ajax virtually growled, and Kaeya squeezed tight
around him, accepting all that he had to give. "My omega. My pretty omega, so full with my
babies."
"Fuck, Ajax!" Kaeya came with a shout as Ajax's teeth broke the skin of his shoulder.
Ajax's hips pushed into him once more, before he, too, was releasing his seed deep into
Kaeya, their connection sealed by the swell of his knot inside him.
Still shuddering, over sensitive, but incredibly spent, Kaeya tried to find a comfortable
position that could accommodate both his baby bump and the exhausted alpha. Thankfully,
Ajax picked him up and carefully lay him down on his side, before curling around Kaeya's
back and spooning him from behind. He felt small and protected within his embrace, and
finally he began to relax.
It took him a while to come down from his high, but when he did, he noticed how much more
stable Ajax's scent felt, now that he'd released some of the tension he'd been building up for
the past few days.
"Baby," Ajax mumbled against the back of Kaeya's neck as he tentatively touched his belly,
his hands large and warm and surprisingly gentle. "I gave you many babies."
"Yes you did," Kaeya fondly laughed, the sound a breezy, tired thing that barely escaped his
lips. "You were such a good alpha."
To his surprise, Ajax started purring, not unlike a cat, as Kaeya praised him. It was endearing
and adorable and definitely trouble. If Kaeya's affections for the two alphas hadn't been
worrying enough before today, then now he knew that when the time came to separate from
them, his heart would likely end up irreparably broken.
"Good alpha, for my pretty omega," Ajax sleepily mumbled. And before Kaeya could
respond, Ajax was breathing deeply, clearly exhausted not only from their lovemaking, but
also from the days that had lead up to that moment.
Kaeya himself was feeling extremely lax, but he needed to let Zhongli know what had
happened between him and his husband. He reached towards the bedside table and picked up
Ajax's phone. It took him a while to find Zhongli's name in the contact list, but former texts
told him he was saved under Geo Daddy - which, frankly, told him a lot more about their
relationship than Kaeya had wanted to know.
Childe: Mated. Axaj alseep. Sems bettee now. Baby OK 2. Bring good -Kae
Childe: Gold
Childe: Food
Childe: And Esther
Geo Daddy: Who's Esther?
Geo Daddy: Kaeya?
Geo Daddy: Have you fallen asleep, too?
Childe: Ye sorry I mneat water
Childe: Idk Esther either
Childe: I slep now
Geo Daddy: Okay, darling. Rest well. You did so well, today. It's my turn to take care of you,
now.
Geo Daddy: Thank you, Kaeya.
Chapter End Notes
So that happened... 😐
Aight. I uh... Yeah.
Kbai
👋
Quite intoxicating
Chapter Notes
Content Warning: This chapter contains non-graphic descriptions of sexual violence,
mentions of conjugal and child abuse, murder, blood, and non-consensual intercourse.
None of it is graphic or explicit, but if it makes you uncomfortable please do exercise
some caution and stay safe.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
The scent of fried bacon reached Kaeya before he even stepped into the kitchen. He could
hear Zhongli prattling about a documentary he'd watched the night before about the
production of cork in the south of Fontaine, Ajax occasionally interrupting and asking for
details on some fact or another.
Kaeya stood by the door, leaning against the threshold without further stepping into the
kitchen.
Ajax wasn't speaking to him.
It had been almost two weeks since Ajax went into rut. Kaeya spent the entire time by his
side, giving him everything he needed to lessen the pain and discomfort of the process. From
allowing him to use his body when he needed relief, to making sure he was well-fed and
bathed, Kaeya had thought he'd done the right thing by staying by Ajax's side in his time of
need.
Then they'd woken up on the first morning after Ajax's rut had ended. The look in his face
would haunt Kaeya's memory for the rest of his life. He'd looked horrified, betrayed even,
like Kaeya had just confessed to murdering his entire family and feeding it to the pigs. And
the sheer stab of guilt and shame he'd felt under that gaze had almost brought him to tears.
Since then, Ajax had been avoiding him, even if he had denied it when Kaeya asked him
directly two days prior. Even Zhongli couldn't quite understand why Ajax's attitude had
shifted so sharply towards their pregnant surrogate, but Kaeya had an inkling of suspicion.
Because no matter how they looked at it, no matter Kaeya's intentions, ultimately, he had
taken advantage of Ajax's vulnerability, hadn't he? He'd had sex with a rutting alpha without
discussing it with him first. What he'd done was unspeakable, and in his haste to help, he only
managed to fuck things up more.
So Kaeya allowed Ajax his distance. Because what else was he supposed to do, apologise?
How did one even apologise for something like that? His father had once told him that
apologies were meant for guilty people to feel better about themselves, not for the victims.
Sorry didn't erase the pain. Sorry didn't undo what had been done.
Ajax's laughter boomed through the kitchen, pulling Kaeya from his thoughts. He'd missed
that laugh, he'd missed his smile, his voice, his presence. He knew that as soon as he stepped
into the kitchen, Ajax's features would close up and he would hardly dare to acknowledge
Kaeya's presence. So he wanted to bask in the atmosphere for a little while longer.
The baby, however, decided that they were far too hungry to play the waiting game, and
Kaeya's stomach rumbled thunderously in protest. With a sigh, he braced himself for the
awkwardness and wiped away the furtive tears that had spilled down his cheeks. Then he
quietly stepped into the kitchen.
"Morning," he greeted, eyes downcast as the familiar heat of shame wrapped around his
shoulders like a heavy cloak.
"Mornin'." Ajax said, his back turned towards him as he dumped a pile of fluffy eggs into a
plate.
"Morning, Kaeya," Zhongli smiled, open and friendly and so warm. His hand briefly touched
Kaeya's stomach, as it did every day; a greeting to his unborn child. "Did you sleep well?"
Kaeya nodded before he glanced up, watching for a second as Ajax moved to set the plates
on the counter. As predicted, his expression had blanked, his eyes focused on what he was
doing and avoiding Kaeya at all costs.
Zhongli gestured for Kaeya to take a seat next to him, and pushed a mug filled with fragrant
jasmine and osmanthus tea towards him.
"I'm heading out early," Ajax told Zhongli, wiping his hands on his apron as he pulled it over
his head. "There's a lot I have to do to make up for the time I was away-"
"Ajax it's Sunday," Zhongli frowned, his hand wrapping around his husbands wrist. "Stay and
have breakfast with us."
Kaeya, who'd just moved to take his seat, stopped when he felt Ajax's eyes on him. Then he
picked up his plate of delicious eggs, bacon and sautéed mushrooms, and stepped back again.
"Please stay. Zhongli missed you, so you should spend some time together," Kaeya breathed,
his voice breaking around the lump in his throat. "I'll eat in my room. Thank you for the
food."
"Kaeya!" Zhongli turned to face him, but Kaeya just smiled at him, fragile and a little wet.
"I'm not feeling well anyway, so I will try to sleep some more after eating."
Ajax's eyebrows shot up. "Is the baby-"
"Baby's fine. It's me. It's... It's all me," Kaeya reassured, his voice trembling. "Please enjoy
your breakfast together."
Kaeya left before Zhongli could try to stop him. Not that he would, but if Zhongli actually
asked him to stay, Kaeya doubted strong enough to refuse him a second time. The further his
pregnancy progressed the more he longed to be in their presence. But as things were, he
figured it was best to give Ajax his space, far from Kaeya as he seemed to prefer it nowadays.
He had to constantly remind himself that soon his job there would be over and he wouldn't
have to worry about any of it anymore. He was there to birth their child and leave. He was
there to host a baby in his body for money. It was easy to forget that when Ajax and Zhongli
had welcomed him into their home and treated him like he was a part of the family, but when
all was said and done, he was there to do a job.
"Have you applied to dance school yet?" Mona asked on the phone later that afternoon.
Kaeya had refused to leave his nest since that morning, the dirty plate left on the floor
somewhere for him to bring to the kitchen late at night after everyone was asleep.
"I don't think I will," Kaeya confessed, his eyes pinned to the blank wall in front of him. No
cracks. No spiders. Just plain white. "It feels dirty, Mona. I feels dirty, using this money for
anything at all. It feels wrong."
"Are you an idiot? Oh my god, Alberich, I knew you were dumb but this-"
"I know. I was surprised, too, trust me. If you'd told me six months ago that I'd be seriously
considering giving up dance school even though I finally had the means for it, I'd be
concerned for your mental health and mine," Kaeya admitted, a sad smile on his lips when
the baby kicked against his hand. "When I look into my future now, I don't see the stage, or
the limelight, or my name in posters for the Yule Ballet."
Mona sighed. Kaeya could almost imagine her pinching the bridge of her nose. "What do you
see then?"
For a moment, Kaeya closed his eyes and tried to picture himself two years from that
moment. He didn't have to focus much, because the first thing he'd seen was Ajax, holding a
toddler in his arms, and Zhongli with his hands pressed fimly on Kaeya's round belly once
again. He pictured them welcoming him home, or playing on the beach. He pictured their
toddler waddling around, curious eyes drinking in the world around them.
"What's that, mama?" they'd ask, and Kaeya would teach them everything he knew, about
dance, about plants, about languages, about the sun and the stars and the moon and the
universe.
He pictured himself surrounded by children, not necessarily his own, and teaching them
about the basics of dancing. He'd smile as their clumsy feet attempted to follow his steps, and
he'd stop and try his best to guide them to do better.
"Kaeya? Are you there?"
"Yeah. I'm... I'm here."
"What do you see when you imagine yourself in the future?" Mona asked, her voice a little
quieter, like she knew the answer before the words even left his lips.
"Something beautiful. Something magical. Something I cannot have," he replied, his voice
cutting into a sob. "Why does this always happen? Why does every good thing in my life
always end up in a shit show? If I didn't have this fucking eye-"
"It's not your eye, Kaeya. Your eye isn't a curse, it's genetics," Mona snapped, as she always
tended to do when Kaeya mentioned his Curse. "Stop blaming yourself for every bad thing
that happens in your life!"
"How can I not?" Kaeya shot back as he turned on his side and curled up into a ball, as far as
his belly would allow him. "How am I supposed to not blame myself? Name one good thing
that has happened to me in the past year that I haven't somehow ruined. Just one. It's okay I'll
wait."
"You had that show in Fontaine," Mona started.
"That I was kicked out of for reporting my coworker for sexual harassing my omega co-star.
Next."
"You did the right thing, Kaeya. That wasn't your fault," Mona told him. "You met your baby
daddies."
"Not my baby, Mona. And one of them won't even talk to me. The other is kind to me, but I
know I'll always be just a surrogate in his eyes," Kaeya clicked his tongue, holding back on
all the other details that sometimes made him wish he hadn't met Ajax And Zhongli. "Try
again."
"Your bank account is as fat as you are right now-" Mona started, before cutting herself off
and backtracking a little. "Wait. Wait a minute. Why would it upset you that he only sees you
as their surrogate. Isn't that what you are?"
"It is, but..." Kaeya trailed off, unsure if he was ready to admit to it out loud. He knew in his
heart that he had fallen in love with the the couple, but to say it to someone else would only
highlight the several thousands of ways that was going to end up ruining him.
"Oh, no. Kaeya, did you catch feelings for a married man? Again? After what happened with
that last guy, you'd think you'd learn your lesson, but no. Kaeya Alberich has a type, and his
type is 'married' because he enjoys his food spicy, after all."
"It's not just him, Mona," Kaeya grunted, hiding his face in his pillow, like that would hide
his shame any better. "And I am only too painfully aware that they're married. To each other,
no less. I'm a fucking idiot."
There was a mighty crash in the background of Mona's call and a cry of pure agony. Mona
excused herself for a minute and when she came back she was panting.
"Kaeya, I'm sorry. I have to go. Fischl just yeeted herself off a ladder and her arm is bent in a
really unnatural angle and I need to take her to the hospital. I'll text you later, yeah?"
"Sure. Tell her I'm laughing at her, on the inside, because I'm too fucking sad to do it on the
outside right now."
"Will do. Bye!"
Kaeya stared at the dark screen of his phone, before unlocking it again. His finger tapped
over the contacts app and scrolled through the very small list until he found the name he most
wanted to call in that moment. For a few minutes, his thumb hovered over Diluc's name.
A knock on his door startled him enough that Kaeya almost dropped his phone on his face,
but by some miracle he managed to save it, and he carefully set it down on the bedside table.
"Kaeya, are you awake?"
Kaeya tried to wipe his tears but they kept coming. He wondered if he could just pretend to
be asleep so he didn't have to face Zhongli, or the world, ever again.
"I have brought you dinner."
Damn it.
Sniffling, Kaeya dabbed at his cheeks with the sleeves of his cardigan, and he dragged
himself off the bed. It took every ounce of energy he had in his body to walk the short
distance between his nest and the door.
Zhongli was in the process of looking for a chair so he could set Kaeya's dinner down for him
to pick up later when Kaeya opened the door. He looked at the other man through wet
eyelashes and then his eyes fell upon the skewers on the plate. A wave of emotion washed
over him and fresh tears rolled down his face.
"Ajax made them for you," Zhongli said.
That only made Kaeya cry harder. Even after everything he did, after he'd hurt Ajax, he had
gone out of his way to cook Kaeya's favourite meal. He didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve
a fraction of the kindness he was being given by either of the other men. Hadn't he been
carrying their baby, he would have turned down the food and asked them to just leave him to
fucking starve like he deserved.
"Kaeya? Darling, please why are you crying? Have I said something wrong? Would you
prefer to eat something else? I can-"
"No. No, it's... Hormones," Kaeya sobbed, stepping out of the way so Zhongli could come
inside his room and set the food down on the kitchenette counter.
"Say what you will," Zhongli said, turning to Kaeya and holding both his hands once the food
was safely put away. "But that's not hormones. I know your hormonal crying and it's nothing
like this. This is you being hurt."
"You know my different cries?" Kaeya asked, bewildered.
"And your different smiles. You have nine of those. They're all beautiful," Zhongli reasusred,
tugging Kaeya closer. "Why are you so sad? Is it because of Ajax? I've tried to talk to him,
but he hasn't been very responsive. He's always a little off kilter after a rut. Give him some
time."
Zhongli lead Kaeya to his nest and helped him to sit down. His large hand cupped Kaeya's
cheek, his thumb grazing over the healing cut on his cheekbone where Ajax had struck him
all those nights ago. Then his touch migrated further down to the yellowing bruises shaped
like fingers around Kaeya's neck, and the sequence of bites along his collarbone.
"It's healing nicely," Zhongli remarked, his lips curling into a smile. "Another couple of days
and you'll be fully healed, I'd wager. Ajax has been worried about you. I reckon he'll come to
his senses soon enough."
A shudder washed down Kaeya's back, and he slumped helplessly against Zhongli.
"I was five years old when I murdered my father."
He wasn't sure what exactly had compelled his lips to move, to form the words, to spill what
he had considered to be his best kept secret. But when he realised what he was doing, he was
already halfway through with the sentence, and it was too late to suck the words back in.
Zhongli froze. The hand on Kaeya's cheek dropping to his lap as his beautiful Cor Lapis eyes
dimmed in the setting sun. Kaeya swallowed thickly, unsure of why he'd spilled the words so
easily, and why in that moment, when he was feeling so lost.
"Kaeya?"
"It was an accident. He was hurting my mother. I remember her cries of pain as she begged
him not to touch her, but he never listened. He never stopped. He would keep beating her
until she stopped begging, taking what he wanted because what else were omegas good for?"
Kaeya wished he could forget. He also wished his cardigan was a little thicker because for
some reason he couldn't stop shaking. "She was in so much pain, and he just wouldn't stop, so
I picked up the fire poker. It was heavy, made of solid iron, but I had to do something. I was
so scared, Zhongli. Mama was in so much pain. I tried to swing the fire poker but it was too
heavy. I just lifted it and let it drop. I wanted to hit him on the back, to distract him enough to
help mama get away. But the iron hook was sharp, and it pierced his skull on impact. He bled
out in front of me. There was so much blood. So much blood. Everywhere. I remember mama
trying to push his dead weight off of her to get to me. I remember her trying to put her clothes
back on while his body twitched, still warm. He was naked from the waist down, his
underwear tangled around his knees. I didn't know what that meant for a long time."
Zhongli held Kaeya's hand and tugged him closer, until his head was resting upon his
shoulder. Kaeya felt oddly numb, like he was watching himself from a distance, not quite
attached to the rest of his body as Zhongli's hand carefully rubbed his back.
"You were so young. I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'm so sorry," Zhongli breathed, kissing the crown
of Kaeya's head. "I wish I could take it all away."
"I don't," Kaeya said, feeling quite sober again. "I don't regret it. He wasn't a good man. I
never understood why my mother loved him so much. She used to tell me, with hearts in her
eyes, that she would love him for the rest of her life. But all he did was hurt her, violate her
boundaries, her body, disrespect her. The worst part is that I became him, Zhongli. I became
my father the moment I entered Ajax's space during his rut."
Zhongli pulled back, a deep frown in his otherwise handsome festures. "You lost me. How
does helping Ajax during his rut translate into you being a violent abuser?"
"I allowed him to mate with me. Not just once, but several times. We all know that consent
given during a mating cycle isn't viable because the person is not thinking with a clear mind.
What I did to him, how is it different from what my father used to do to my mama? Of course
he hates me, now. Of course he can't even bear to look at me."
"Hate you?"
Kaeya flinched as Ajax's voice sounded from the door of his bedroom. He was standing
there, holding onto a cup of what looked like fresh valberry juice - Kaeya's most recent
craving. Kaeya held his breath as Ajax stepped into the room, his brows furrowed, his gait
hesitant.
"Ajax," Zhongli seemed to have found his voice again, and he held Kaeya closer to him.
"How long have you been standing in there?"
"Long enough," Ajax replied. He set the glass down next to Kaeya's plate of skewers, but he
didn't dare to step any closer to the nest where the other two were huddled together. "Kaeya, I
don't hate you."
It was a titanic effort to try to hold his composure. Kaeya refused to look up at Ajax, his
trembling hands finding comfort in the swell of his stomach.
"How long have you been feeling like that? Like I was distancing myself because you
thought you'd- What, forced yourself on me? Raped me?" Ajax's eyes turned wide at his own
words, the concept seemingly too outlandish to even consider. "Archons, Kae. Is that what
you've been thinking?"
"My love," Zhongli cautioned, his tone steady, but Kaeya could feel the tension in his
embrace. "You did distance yourself from him as soon as you realised what had happened
between you. Even after I explained everything, you still refused to engage in a civil
conversation with him. Taking in account Kaeya's background, I can see why he leapt to that
conclusion."
"I'm sorry," Kaeya said, not sure why, really, because apologies were meaningless. Maybe he
was apologising for troubling them. Maybe he was apologising just for the fact that he
existed. Maybe he was apologising because he didn't know what to do or what to say. His
stomach ached with the tightness of anxiety, and he was beginning to feel a little nauseated.
Ajax stepped closer, then, and crouched down in front of Kaeya, his hands hovering
awkwardly on Kaeya's knees before deciding to place them there, if anything, to help him
keep his balance.
"Look at me," Ajax asked, his tone so gentle, so soft. "Please Kaeya. I have to fix this."
"No. I was the one who messed up. I was the one who took advantage of-"
"You were the one who left my bedroom looking like you'd had an encounter with a wild
boar and somehow lived to tell the tale. You were the one who was bruised, scratched, bitten
and fucked by an alpha who couldn't even remember your name." Ajax's calloused fingers
gave Kaeya a little squeeze on his knees. "Do you know how scared I was when I saw you
lying in my bed with me the morning after my rut waned? You had bruises all over your
body, your shoulders, your collarbone, your chest, your thighs, all marked with my teeth. I
was so afraid I had bonded with you against your will."
Zhongli brushed his long fingers through the fluffy curls of Ajax's hair. "You didn't, bǎobèi.
And even if you had, distancing yourself from Kaeya wouldn't have been the right thing to
do, either."
"I know that! You think I don't know that?" Ajax let out a pitiful whimper and hid his face in
Kaeya's lap. "I panicked. I saw your bruises and I knew I had been the one to give them to
you and I felt like I had betrayed your trust. I was terrified that I had hurt you, or the baby. I
was scared I'd lose control again if I got too close to you. Kaeya, just because it happened
while I was in a rut, it doesn't mean I haven't thought about you like that before."
"You have?" Kaeya asked, scowling down at the carpet. He still couldn't bring himself to
look at Ajax.
"We have," Zhongli confirmed, chuckling. "You're a pregnant omega, Kaeya. You're carrying
our child. Very few things are more attractive to us alphas, than the sight of a fertile omega,
heavy with our children. When you're asleep and your control on your pheromones isn't as
precise, your scent is quite intoxicating."
"It really is," Ajax agreed, his face still hidden in Kaeya's lap. "It's stronger than us, this
desire we feel when we look at you. It's instinct. It's something primal and ancient and
making sure we don't say anything to scare you away is a full time job."
Instinct.
It made sense. Some things went beyond their control, even if today's society had come a
long way in terms of control of their primal urges, they still lay dormant under a layer of civic
behaviour. As soon as he'd given birth to their baby, that feeling, that attraction would be
gone.
But all Kaeya could focus on was the fact that, even if just for a little while, even if it was a
lie at the core, Zhongli and Ajax wanted him, too. He could feel his hope blossoming like a
lotus flower under the gentle coaxing of the sunlight, bright and delicate and fragile, but
there, drinking in the attention, savouring the words.
Screw dance school. Kaeya was going to need so much therapy once the whole ordeal was
over, he might as well use the money for that.
"Kaeya," Ajax called, lifting his head so he could look at him directly. He looked tired and
embarrassed, and maybe a little apprehensive. "Have we made you uncomfortable?"
"No," Kaeya said, reaching out to gently cradle Ajax's cheek. Ajax turned into his touch and
nuzzled his palm. "I was just thinking about how nice it must be to be so loved," he smiled,
ruffling Ajax's hair. "You two are incredibly lucky to have found each other you know?
Treasure what you have."
"You are loved, too, Kaeya," Zhongli smiled, kissing his temple."You are so loved."
He wasn't. Kaeya had learned long ago that he wasn't meant to be loved. Wanted? Sure.
Desired? Absolutely. Liked? Maybe on a sunny day. But not loved. Not after his mother. Not
after Crepus. Definitely not after Diluc. Everyone who had ever told him they loved him,
eventually left. They loved him, but not enough to stay. They loved him but not enough to
respect his choices. Their love was always conditional.
Still, he nodded, because disagreeing would dig sharper knives into wounds that had never
quite healed, and he felt like he had done enough crying for the day.
Luckily, his stomach growled in the silent room, calling everyone's attention to the bump.
Kaeya tried not to stare as Ajax laughed, his eyes shining with amusement and adoration.
"Let's feed our boys, shall we?"
"We don't know if it's a boy yet," Zhongli smiled, his thumb rubbing over the salience of
Kaeya's bellybutton. "We might be having a girl."
"I hope it's a boy," Ajax insisted as he brought Kaeya's food to the bed. "Imagine the trouble
she'll be if it's a girl. With yours and Kaeya's genes, she'll be too pretty. She'll be breaking
hearts all over Teyvat."
"What if our son is as pretty as Kaeya?" Zhongli mused, picking up one of the skewers and
feeding it to Kaeya.
"Shit, I haven't considered that. Alright, new plan, we'll never allow our kid to meet people.
Ever. People are overrated, anyways."
Kaeya couldn't even begin to untangle the mess of emotions in his heart, but for now he
would be content to just sit and listen to the couple speculate about their future child while
munching on the best skewers he's had since he left his childhood home.
Chapter End Notes
Welcome to the downhill slope.
Keep your arms and legs tucked in at all times and make sure your safety belt is
properly fastened.
Enjoy your ride.
Childhood Friends
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"Blow it."
"Ajax-"
"Kaeya, please. Blow it," Ajax sighed." It hurts so much. Please."
"I know, but the angle is all wrong. Here let me hold it for you instead."
"No, I've got it. I just need you to blow it."
"If you don't stop whining, I'll blow it myself," Zhongli threatened.
"No fucking way. You'll spit all over me. Gross," Ajax complained, finally letting go of his
eyelid. "Okay, Kaeya, you do it."
Kaeya let out a small chuckle as he gently nudged Ajax's eyelids open. His eye was red and
teary from Ajax's constant scrubbing, but the offending eyelash was lying right there at the
bottom of his eye, and after getting the perfect angle, Kaeya blew it away.
"There. How does that feel?" Kaeya asked thumb wiping away the dampness in Ajax's cheek.
"So much better, angel." Ajax kissed Kaeya's foreheead and blinked a few times. "Aren't
eyelashes supposed to protect our eyes? Why in the Tsaritsa's name-"
"Glad you're done with that. Can we start getting ready to welcome our guests, now?"
Zhongli asked, his fingers fiddling nervously with his cufflinks.
"What do you mean, guests?" Kaeya panicked, his eyes widening at Zhongli's increasingly
guilty look. "I haven't showered in a week, my hair is all greasy and I can't see the floor when
I'm walking! And you're telling me we're having people over? Now?"
Ajax pursed his lips, and raised an eyebrow in Zhongli's general direction, his arms crossed
in front of his chest. "I hate to say I told you so but-"
"How old are you, five?" Zhongli snapped, running his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry,
sweetheart, I forgot. Work has been a little chaotic after the accident in the mines. The
Kamisato visit completely slipped my mind until his assistant messaged me this morning to
confirm our home address."
Kaeya frowned. He'd heard that name before but he couldn't exactly pinpoint where at the
moment. Either way, whoever Zhongli was inviting was undoubtedly someone important.
He sat up on the couch with some difficulty, but Ajax was there in a second, helping him
stand up. In all honesty, he was feeling exhausted, his body felt heavy, his feet were swollen,
and he was nursing a heartburn since dinner the previous night, so the last thing Kaeya
wanted was to deal with rich, important people he didn't know.
"When will they arrive?" he asked, heaving a sigh as the baby lodged their foot under his ribs
before adjusting their position so they were perfectly sat right on his bladder. Kaeya wanted
to cry. "Shit, that hurt."
Zhongli pressed his hand on Kaeya's stomach and rubbed around in soothing circles. "Is the
baby giving you a hard time?" Zhongli asked, peering up at Kaeya. "You don't have to join us
if you don't want to. You can just rest in your room."
"I can bring you your dinner," Ajax offered, his hands sliding into the pockets of his jeans. "I
wish I could stay and eat with you, but I have to play the role of a good housewife for
Zhongli."
Kaeya would have laughed, if he hadn't been stuck thinking about eating all alone in his
room. With the imminent end of his pregnancy, came the inevitable heartbreak of separation,
and Kaeya was feeling it already. He knew he had to start distancing himself from the two
men, distancing himself from the baby he was carrying. He knew that the day would finally
come when his job here would be done, and the spell would be broken.
Kaeya never liked goodbyes, he wasn't good at them. That's why he didn't say goodbye to
Diluc when he left home. That's why he refused to attend his father's funeral, much to Diluc's
disappointment. Goodbyes were far too taxing on his emotions, and Kaeya had never been
good with those. Sure he wore his heart on his sleeve, nowadays, but he was also
significantly more pregnant than at any other point in his life, so pregnancy hormones didn't
quite set the most accurate baseline.
But even though he knew he should be slowly severing ties with Ajax and Zhongli, he
wanted to indulge in their company for at least a little longer. If that meant going through
dinner in the company of strangers, then, so be it.
"How long until they're here?" Kaeya asked again, meeting Zhongli straight in the eyes. "So I
know how long I have to get ready."
Zhongli's smile confused him greatly. He couldn't quite understand the pride in his
expression, or the smugness that was so evident in his eyes, but then he remembered that this
was the perfect opportunity for an alpha to show off a pregnant omega. Hadn't Kaeya been so
stupidly in love with the couple, he would have despised being shown off like a trophy. But
this was Zhongli and Ajax. If any alphas would ever dare to lay a claim on him, tenuous and
temporary as it was, then Kaeya would definitely want for it to be these two.
"Half an hour, give or take," Zhongli informed him, his lips gently pressing on Kaeya's
stomach. They are making port as we speak, and they'll be coming directly here."
"Shit. Okay," Kaeya sighed, a hand running through his hair. He definitely needed more than
that to look presentable. There was no way he would let Zhongli and Ajax down by looking
like a slob in front of their friends. "I may need a little more than that, but I'll be there for
dinner, if you wouldn't mind waiting."
"Don't worry. I haven't even started on the food, so dinner will definitely take a while," Ajax
chuckled, before pressing a kiss to Kaeya's cheek. "Unless you need help in the bath?"
Zhongli snorted at the words, and he stood up to ruffle Ajax's hair. "If Kaeya needs help, I'd
be happy to step in while you cook. Don't be greedy, dear."
"But I wanted to help Kaeya feel good. Not cook for the Inazuman peacock." Ajax grumbled
in Snezhnayan as he passed by them and disappeared into the kitchen, his pout firm on his
pink lips.
"What did he say?" Zhongli asked, looking at Kaeya for the translation. "He wasn't insulting
me, was he? I might have to discipline him later."
"And that's my cue to GTFO. By the stars I swear you two have shown yourselves lately,"
Kaeya wrapped the blanket tightly around himself as he started to go up the stairs. "Two
perfectly respectable alphas, turned into mindless knotheads. I am appalled."
Zhongli laughed, soft and deep, as he followed Kaeya up the stairs. He pressed a hand to
Kaeya's lower back, supporting him as they walked the short distance towards his room.
"In all seriousness, allow me to join you in the bath," Zhongli was saying as they entered the
room, his hand dropping when Kaeya started gathering his belongings. "I noticed the baby
has been more active today, and it's been causing you a great deal of discomfort. I fear you
may fall and hurt yourself."
Kaeya was sorting through his towels, searching for the softest one, the one that didn't hurt
his nipples when he dried himself off. He was far too sensitive for abrasive fabrics.
"If that would help you feel better, then I don't see why not. Besides, you can help me wash
my back. It's been hell twisting around to reach it," Kaeya hummed, a happy little purr
sounding out as he found his favourite towel.
"That would make me very happy," Zhongli smiled, already shedding his suit jacket and
rolling up the sleeves of his shirt as he followed Kaeya into the bathroom.
Getting undressed was a task, and Kaeya had long forgone the shame that came with getting
naked in front of, well, anyone really. When living the life of a dancer, getting changed
between dance numbers in a room full of people became the norm. Ajax had once
commented on his shamelessness, his lovely cheeks turning the brightest shade of red. It had
occurred to Kaeya, then, that most people did prefer to keep their modesty.
What brought him shame wasn't the nakedness, but the way he couldn't do it without losing
his balance in some way or another. Now that his centre of gravity had shifted to the front of
his body, even though he was trained to balance himself in odd positions, he'd never really
appreciated how nimble he could be until he agreed to house a whole human inside him. He'd
taken his balance for granted.
Zhongli, however, seemed to love that Kaeya needed his help. His hands were careful as they
helped him slide off his shorts, his fingers lightly caressing up his thighs and coming to meet
in front of his stomach as he silently invited Kaeya to lean back against him.
"Hi," he greeted, nose pressed against Kaeya's neck, searching for his scent. When he found
nothing, he pulled back with a disappointed sigh.
"Zhongli-"
"No, Kaeya. I understand," Zhongli smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I just wish I
could smell them in you."
"What do you mean?" Kaeya asked, stepping aside as Zhongli turned on the tap, fiddling with
the temperature until it was the perfect lukewarm Kaeya preferred in his late stage of
pregnancy.
"When you keep such a tight control of your pheromones, it makes it very hard for us to
smell the baby. Scenting is one of the few ways alpha parents have to bond with their child
before birth. We can't carry the baby, so we can't feel them growing inside us the way an
omega parent can. We can talk to the belly, but our voice doesn't reach the same way yours
does. We can feel them kicking, but much later than you can. Their scent, even when mixed
with yours, is a way for us to feel them close, to know they're happy and growing healthy."
Zhongli held Kaeya's hand as he slid into the tub, and Kaeya leaned his head back, eyes
searching Zhongli's features.
He'd never considered that. Kaeya had grown so used to tamp down his scent, to avoid
attracting unwanted attention, that he hadn't considered what that might do to the alphas he
was living with. Of course scenting was a way for them to bond with their child, the baby that
they wanted so badly. A heavy weight settled in Kaeya's chest. All those months, they had
never said anything, never expressed their desire to feel closer to the child Kaeya was
carrying through their scent. Why? For his comfort?
"I'm sorry, Zhongli," Kaeya breathed, feeling the now familiar burn of tears gathering in the
corner of his eyes. "I never thought- You could have told me-"
"Just like Ajax and I have the right to our privacy, so do you. If your control is as tight as it
is, there must be a reason for it. Even when you're sleeping, though you're not actively doing
it, your scent is still so light, it takes a while for Ajax and myself to get a nice whiff of you
and the baby," Zhongli cupped his hands into the water and allowed it to drip over Kaeya's
shoulders. "Besides, when the baby comes, we'll have plenty of time to bond with them,
won't we?"
No, Kaeya thought, his gaze falling to his feet under the water. No, he won't have time to
bond with the baby, or watch them grow, or hear their first word, or watch them take their
first steps, or sing them to sleep after a nightmare, or hear them call him mama, while
demanding hugs and cuddles.
A heartbroken sob wrenched through Kaeya's throat as he leaned into Zhongli's gentle touch.
Truly, the only consolation, the only thing that made Kaeya's heart ache a little less, was the
fact that this baby would have such a great life, filled with love and respect. They'd never
have to worry about watching their fathers be violent with each other, or hide under the bed
because their fathers were looking for something to beat up. They'd never know what hunger
was, or what it meant to have to work hard to afford a chance to survive.
Zhongli allowed him to cry, his fingers now massaging Kaeya's scalp, rubbing in the fruity
shampoo Kaeya had taken a liking to. After he rinsed his head and applied a coconut mask to
hydrate his hair, Zhongli leaned back and cupped Kaeya's cheeks with both hands.
"Sometimes I wonder," Zhongli said, a small frown between his brows, "how someone as
beautiful and smart and talented as you, came to know so much pain and sorrow. And I wish I
could take it all away. I feel so helpless when I lose you to your sadness."
Kaeya blinked up to meet Zhongli's eyes. They were sitting so close to each other, and
Zhongli looked so pained, it made Kaeya want to kiss the sadness away, to comfort the other
man just as much as to comfort himself. Instead, he closed his eyes and allowed his scent to
wash over the bathroom.
Kaeya had noticed the difference almost as soon as he found out he was pregnant. There was
a milky-sweet scent mixed with his usual sea breeze and Calla Lilly aroma, a combination
that oddly reminded him of picnics at the beach during the spring. It reminded him of picking
up shells with Diluc, their shorts wet and their hair a tangled mess.
Zhongli shuddered visibly at the sudden thickness of Kaeya's scent, his eyes widening, his
pupils dilating, his mouth parting as though he was trying to taste it. He inhaled, deep and
long and Kaeya would have blushed if he didn't know the true reason why Zhongli was
visibly drinking in his scent.
"Is that-"
"It's your baby," Kaeya confirmed, sniffling the last of his tears and washing his face in the
water. "Do you like it?"
"It always smelled vaguely sweet," Zhongli commented, leaning forward to press his nose
against Kaeya's gland on his neck. Kaeya almost shrieked when Zhongli's tongue lapped at
his skin, tasting the sweet oils there. "So sweet. Like orange blossoms, honey, and-" another
lick that had Kaeya moan quietly into his hand. "Flowers?"
"Calla Lily. That's me," Kaeya said, his voice a shaky breath.
"I smell the sea," Zhongli pressed his tongue on Kaeya's neck and teased the area with his
teeth. It was almost like he wasn't aware he was doing it. "Omega, you smell so good."
Kaeya gasped, his eyes closing when Zhongli's long fingers brushed along his inner thigh. He
squirmed, arousal burning deep in his core.
"Zhongli," Kaeya breathed, shuddering as he felt his legs parting to allow Zhongli easier
access to his groin. "We're on a tight schedule."
"I know," Zhongli chuckled, pulling back. "But if Ajax knows I've riled you up and haven't
taken good care of you, I fear he'll lose his control in front of our very distinguished guests
and take you on the dinner table again."
"That only happened once," Kaeya sighed, back arching as Zhongli pressed his fingers into
Kaeya's welcoming body. "And if I remember correctly, you were quick to join in."
"Hardly my fault your pregnancy hormones make you so insatiable," Zhongli's teeth tugged
Kaeya's earlobe, before he mouthed down his neck. "Besides, I can smell you Kaeya.
Properly. I don't think you understand how you're making me feel right now."
Kaeya turned his face with a nudge of Zhongli's fingers on his jaw, and when their mouths
met, Kaeya almost passed out with want. Zhongli was right. In the past few weeks, his libido
was so active, he'd think his body was endeavoring to get him even more pregnant. Luckily,
after helping Ajax with his rut, the couple agreed that they'd be more than happy to tend to
Kaeya's... needs.
It was both a blessing and a curse, because Kaeya was now sure that Zhongli and Ajax have
ruined him for anyone else. His body craved the other two alphas like a parched man craved
water. The thought of anyone else even getting close enough to touch him intimately made
Kaeya feel sick.
"Show me?" Kaeya breathed, his own hand palming the generous bulge tenting Zhongli's
trousers.
"Oh, sweetheart, I intend to."
×
By the time Kaeya was done with his bath, he was feeling thoroughly sated and infinitely
more relaxed. Zhongli had helped him blow dry his hair, and he'd styled it very simply, by
braiding two pieces from his temples and tying them at the back of his head with a white
satin ribbon. Kaeya felt like the protagonist of one of those period dramas Ajax loved to cry
about. He allowed Zhongli to dress him, too, knowing that showing off their surrogate was
important to the alphas. It was a way of showing that they knew how to take good care of an
omega, that they were competent and proud. Kaeya had never understood that part of alpha
biology, but truthfully, he had never made an effort to before.
Almost an hour had gone by when they started down the stairs to the sitting area, Kaeya's arm
looped around Zhongli as he carefully descended the steps. He couldn't really see where he
was going, so he trusted Zhongli's guidance.
"Kaeya Ragnvindr?!"
His eyes snapped up immediately, his lips parting at the voice. He hadn't heard those names
being said together in years.
The men sitting on the cream couch were tall and elegant and incredibly familiar. Especially
the blond one. He could swear he'd seen him before. A younger version of him, at least. Wild
yellow hair and bright green eyes and a couple missing teeth. Climbing trees and hiding
behind vines and playing hide and seek with a dimpled smile.
"Thoma?!"
In two steps, Thoma had crossed the room and wrapped his arms around Kaeya's middle to
give him a tight hug, only to stop when he noticed the swell of his stomach.
"No way. I leave Mondstadt for five minutes and suddenly you're in Liyue and pregnant andAh, my Lord."
Thoma stepped aside when the second man stood up. Kaeya felt Zhongli tense beside him,
and he unconsciously leaned a little into his touch. But then the man smiled, sweet, if a little
confused, and he held out his hand for Kaeya to take.
"Young master Ragnvindr. It truly is an honour to finally meet you in person. Your brother
spoke very highly of you," the man brought Kaeya's hand to his lips and pressed a light kiss
to his knuckles.
It hit him, then, like a ton of bricks. Kamisato. Kamisato Ayato. The nobleman Diluc tried to
marry him off to. The alpha who'd nearly taken away his freedom.
"It's Alberich, actually," Kaeya said, pulling his hand back. "It is an honour to meet you, too."
"I wasn't expecting you to be pregnant. I believe congratulations are in order," Ayato said, his
eyes clearly searching the bare skin of Kaeya's neck. "Unbonded?"
"Kaeya is our surrogate," Zhongli stepped in, his hand clapping Ayato's shoulder as he
motioned for him to sit back down on the couch. "May I interest you in some Osmanthus
wine while we wait for dinner to be ready? I would like to have a nice chat with an old friend
before we feast."
Thoma grabbed Kaeya's hands and tugged them lightly. "Speaking of dinner, can you show
me to the kitchen? I would love to help Childe Ajax with the preparations. Besides, business
talk always gets boring after the first two words. Be so kind and save me?"
Relieved to have an excuse to stay as very far away from Ayato as he possibly could, Kaeya
almost jumped at the opportunity to show Thoma around.
He was taller, now, but his smile was still the same jovial dimpled smile he remembered from
their childhood. As Thoma followed Kaeya into the kitchen, he was talking about his life in
Inazuma and how he got to live there.
"My father had a job offer in Narukami, you see. And at the time, things between him and
mother weren't very happy, so he decided to return home. I went with him," Thoma was
saying, his finger scratching his cheek. "Unfortunately I didn't have time to say goodbye to
you or Diluc. How's your brother, by the way?"
Kaeya was absently tugging his hair, curling it around his fingers until they turned white, and
then releasing them again. "I guess he's fine."
"You guess?"
"We... Aren't exactly on speaking terms," Kaeya said as he took a seat at the breakfast
counter.
Thoma seemed to consider his words, his eyes landing on Kaeya's stomach for a moment. "I
see."
No, Kaeya thought, you really don't. Ajax chose that moment to approach him, effectively
distracting him as he slid his hand over the bump and pressed a kiss to Kaeya's cheek.
"Hungry?" Ajax asked.
"Mn, quite," said Kaeya, picking up the cup of tea Ajax had set down for him. "Thoma said
he wanted to help you with dinner."
"That's right! It's not really fair to have you do all the hard work!" Thoma smiled, bright and
warm and so familiar, Kaeya's chest ached with homesickness.
"Thank you but my kitchen is off limits," Ajax glared at Thoma, his eyes narrowing when he
noticed Thoma's proximity to Kaeya. "Who are you again?"
The warm smile faltered for a brief second, before Thoma let out a good natured laugh. "I'm
Lord Ayato's housekeeper, and personal assistant, and, well, anything he needs me to be,
really," Thoma replied with a shrug.
"What happened to musical theatre?" Kaeya asked, sipping his tea.
"Not much of a market for it in Inazuma. Besides, I like my job. The Kamisato family is kind
to me."
"You know each other?" Ajax asked, the hand around Kaeya's waist turned from casual to
possessive. "How?"
"You could say we're childhood friends. We played a lot, the three of us, before I moved to
Inazuma," Thoma mused, his eyes never wavering from Ajax's.
Kaeya thought it was pretty impressive that a beta was so unafraid to face a dominant alpha
so bluntly. Then again, Thoma had always been the braver of the three. Where Diluc was
often cautious, and Kaeya an overthinker, Thoma would often dive in head first into a
challenge without much care for the consequences.
"The three of you?" Ajax inquired, his jaw set.
"Kaeya, Diluc and myself?" Thoma grinned, arms crossing in front of his chest. "We used to
play together all the time at the Winery. Once, I broke my wrist falling off the roof of their
Manor - we were catching crystalflies, - and Kaeya cried so hard he made himself sick. We
had a sleepover together, then, and Kaeya only fell asleep when Diluc and I agreed to cuddle
him."
It was becoming very obvious that Thoma was enjoying showing that he knew Kaeya, that
he'd been privy to Kaeya's past, that they shared memories Ajax himself would never be a
part of. And Ajax was hating every single word that was coming out of the man's mouth.
"Ajax, the food," Kaeya nudged when he felt the grip around his waist tighten almost
painfully.
"Right."
Maybe joining them for dinner hadn't been the right decision. Had he known who was
coming and what that implied, Kaeya would have chosen to stay in his room, curled in his
nest, surrounded by his books.
Now he had to choose between Thoma and Ajax's tug of war, or the company of the alpha
who nearly claimed ownership over him. Kaeya swallowed the lump in his throat and leaned
his head on his hands. To think that only ten minutes ago he'd felt so blissfully relaxed.
Thoma had taken a seat beside Kaeya, and had gone right back to talking about his life in
Inazuma after they parted ways. Kaeya was happy to listen. Despite his attitude towards
Ajax, Kaeya was genuinely happy to have met Thoma again after so long. To the day he left
home, Diluc still mentioned their childhood friend every now and then, a fondness in his eyes
that left very little to interpretation.
After all, it had been Kaeya who'd comforted Diluc after Thoma disappeared without saying
goodbye. He'd been the one to wipe his tears when Diluc blamed himself for pushing their
friend away by confessing his crush. Now, however, Kaeya knew it had all been a matter of
poor timing.
"I can't wait to see him again," Thoma mused, his eyes bright with anticipation. "I wonder
how he is."
"Who?"
"Diluc! We're headed to Mond, next. Ayato doesn't often come to the mainland, so he's taking
this opportunity to talk business with some people. Dawn Winery is next on our list before
we have to return to Inazuma in time for the Iradori festival."
Kaeya tensed. He felt eyes on him, piercing, intense, and he glanced at Ajax to see him
staring back at him, a question in his gaze, Are you all right? Kaeya forced a small smile and
gave him a small nod before he met Thoma's eyes.
"Do you- Could you-"
"Don't worry, Kae. I won't talk to Diluc about you. It's not my place to talk about your life,
especially if you're not on friendly terms," Thoma reassured him, his hand gently holding
Kaeya's to give it a quick squeeze.
The action wasn't well received by Ajax, however, who growled at Thoma as he smacked his
hand away with his wooden spoon.
"Oi!"
"Don't. Touch. My. Omega."
Kaeya's eyes widened and he left his seat to walk around the counter. "Hey, it's okay," Kaeya
soothed, sensing Ajax's agitation. "Thoma is my friend, he's not going to hurt me."
Ajax frowned, his hands resting on Kaeya's stomach. "Baby."
"The baby is fine. You can't go around growling at people like an animal just because they
touch me. I'm not your property," Kaeya scolded, lightly smacking Ajax's nose.
The alpha pouted, his puppy eyes making it impossible for Kaeya to stay mad for too long,
but he ruffled Ajax's hair and directed his attention back to the stove.
"Sorry about that," Kaeya sighed, rubbing his lower back as he tried to stretch his sore
muscles. "The closer I am to the due date the more antsy he gets."
"No, it's... Fine," Thoma trailed off, looking back at Ajax. "So, how did this happen?" he
asked, his hand motioning vaguely to Kaeya's stomach.
"Well," Kaeya smiled, shifting a little on his seat as he grabbed his cup of tea again.
He relayed the story about how he had ended up as a surrogate, omitting most of the details,
and sticking to the light hearted anecdotes that had happened over the past few months. It felt
nice, talking to an old friend. It helped him feel normal again, especially when Thoma added
his own jokes to escalate an already ridiculous tale.
It brought him back home, to Mondstadt, to the winery he'd grown up in, to the green fields
they'd ran through chasing after each other, blowing dandelions into the wind, playing with
the baby foxes they'd found in the wild.
Homesickness sat heavy in his chest by the time they sat at the table, Kaeya comfortably
tucked between Ajax and Zhongli, while Ayato and Thoma sat across from them. He looked
at the empty chair next to Thoma and pictured for a fraction of a moment, Diluc sitting there,
removing his gloves before his meals, like he'd always do, serving them grape juice, and
talking about whatever recent gossip he'd heard about that day.
Not many people knew about that side of him, the side that liked to gossip and joke with
those he was closest to. But Kaeya had been the very first he'd share the town's news with, a
smile on his lips, and a mischievous sparkle in his eyes.
And Kaeya would soak every word like a sponge, elated to have his big brother's attention,
and giddy with amusement.
"Is the food not to your liking?"
The gentle touch on his forearm pulled him right back down to the table where they sat,
Zhongli's fingers still lingering on his skin.
Kaeya looked down at his plate, full of delicious smelling food, still noticeably untouched.
He frowned, head tilting to the side as he pushed his chair back.
"Sorry, I just- I need a moment."
Ajax moved beside him, but he didn't follow. He could feel four pairs of eyes pinned on his
back as he walked out into the balcony, the evening breeze a cool relief on his heated skin.
Liyue Harbour didn't sleep. Though the sky was dark and the weather had cooled, people still
mingled about in the docks, walking around, laughing and chasing each other. A couple
walked their dog, a young man carried a massive bouquet of white flowers, and three children
ran around playing pirates.
Maybe, Kaeya thought when one of the children fell down, the other two quickly running to
her side, maybe going home wouldn't be so bad. Maybe his relationship with his brother
wasn't so broken that it couldn't be fixed.
He hoped not, at least.
Crepus wouldn't have wanted this for them. In a way, their fight felt like a slap to their
father's face. Their father, who'd never treated Kaeya any differently, even though he was the
son of a servant. Crepus Ragnvindr, who went out off his way to show Kaeya what being
loved by a father truly felt like, who raised two boys on his own, and gave them the best life
he could possibly have given.
How would he react to Kaeya distancing himself from Diluc the way he had done? Would he
have sided with him? Or would he have taken Diluc's side?
"Father wanted me to take care of you!" Diluc had shouted when Kaeya shot down the
marriage proposal for the nth time. He didn't need to be taken care of, he only needed his
brother to respect him, to love him, to support him.
Maybe Crepus had been thinking about marrying Kaeya off anyway. After all, wasn't that
what every parent wanted? For their children to be taken care of? And who better than an
Inazuman aristocrat? Handsome, rich and educated, a perfect match in every way, the
epitome of what an alpha should be.
It was too late to undo what had been done. They couldn't take back the hurtful words they'd
thrown like arrows at each other out of anger; they couldn't just forget and pretend that the
past five years had never happened.
But his life was significantly lacking that Diluc-shaped presence in it. From his voice, to his
scent, to his touch, Kaeya missed his big brother. Stars, how many people had he lost? How
many more people would he eventually lose until loneliness finally consumed him mind, and
soul?
"Kaeya?"
His shoulders tensed. Kaeya didn't look back, but he didn't need to. As Ayato slowly crossed
the large balcony to meet him, he dabbed his sleeves over his cheeks to dry them off. Truly,
one side effect of pregnancy he couldn't wait to be over with.
"Lord Kamisato-"
"Just- just call me Ayato," the man said, coming to a stop next to Kaeya. "I'm sorry for
disturbing you. I know you asked to be alone, but I couldn't help but to feel that meeting me
here has made you uncomfortable."
Kaeya didn't respond. He didn't know what to say without sounding rude, so he just hummed
non-commitally and stared at the horizon. A fishing boat was returning from the high seas
with a hull full of fish to be sold at the market come morning.
"I didn't know I'd meet you here in Liyue."
"You were hoping to meet me in Mondstadt, though," Kaeya said. Not a question; they both
knew it to be true.
"It was part of the reason why I decided to visit Mondstadt during my time in the mainland,
yes," Ayato said, following Kaeya's gaze to the large expanse of sea. "Diluc hasn't mentioned
you in his emails for a long time. Every time I asked about you, he deflected, saying you've
been keeping busy with your schooling, but he never gave me much detail. I began to think
that he was retracting his proposal to have us eventually mate and bond."
Turning to face Ayato, Kaeya felt himself shake with a mixture of laughter and frustration."
Has it ever occurred to either of you to ask me directly what I wanted?" he demanded, a hand
coming to rest on his stomach as the baby shifted again. He winced at the jab to his ribs, but
steadied his breathing enough to continue. "There you were, two alphas talking about my
future behind my back. Talking about me and my life like I was merchandise, like I was a
slab of meat for you to take and do what you pleased with. Have you ever thought about
asking me if I wanted anything to do with you?"
"No," Ayato said, honestly. The response was so sincere, it took Kaeya completely off guard.
"I have grown up being told that I was to marry a beautiful and talented omega from a
respectable family to bring prosperity to the Kamisato name and future. I grew up being told
that my family's advisors would pick the best for me, that the future of my clan was on my
shoulders, and therefore it was my responsibility to reassure that my bloodline would have a
continuation. My sister grew up under the same instructions. They'd find a respectable omega
for her to marry and eventually breed."
Kaeya swallowed the lump in his throat, and leaned against the handrail, his hand curling
around the metal until his knuckles turned white.
"And you never questioned it?"
"My parents didn't love each other, Kaeya. They eventually learned to tolerate each other, and
they became friends at some point, but they weren't in love. Marrying for love isn't something
that we see often between people of our social standing in Inazuma. It's not a luxury many of
us can afford," Ayato shrugged, his fingers playing with the cuff buttons of his pristine white
suit. "After my parents died, I swore to protect my sister. It was another responsibility thrown
on my shoulders. But I saw how lonely she was, how she had grown quieter. Then she met
the young heiress to a fireworks company, and her entire demeanour sparked up every time
she mentioned the young lady. Our advisors were firmly against their relationship, but by the
Almighty Shogun, it tore me apart the idea of separating them. So I went against everything I
was told and I approved of their union. They're engaged to be married this autumn."
"Why are you telling me this?" Kaeya breathed, his eyes searching Ayato's features, and
lingering on the small beauty mark just below his pink lips.
"Because with Ayaka marrying Yoimiya, another young alpha, that means that the
responsibility to continue our lineage falls entirely on my shoulders. It has always been my
duty, but now, more than ever, I feel the pressure to go forth with it."
"Hence why you decided to come to Mondstadt."
"Ayaka's engagement party is taking place after the Iradori festival, and I had been hoping to
extend a formal invitation for you to come as my plus one. It would be like... The official
start of our courtship," Ayato chuckled, eyeing Kaeya's pregnant belly. "Of course now I see
how foolishly I'd hoped. It is entirely on me, of course, for taking Diluc's word for granted. I
should have figured that something wasn't quite right when he refused to speak about you
during our correspondence."
His chest tightened just a little as he listened to Ayato's words. Now that he was actually
meeting the man, Kaeya thought he wasn't the monster he'd judged him to be. Much like
Diluc, and himself, he was a victim of the circumstances of his birth. A pang of sympathy
flashed in his heart.
"You wanted to court me?" Kaeya smiled, his eyebrow raising in an amused arch. "That
sounds so adorably old-fashioned."
Ayato laughed, and by the light, it sounded wonderful. Kaeya wondered how often he got to
laugh like that, breezy and carefree.
"Yes, well, I thought that I didn't want us to end up like my parents. Perhaps, if I courted you
properly before our wedding, we'd reach at least the point of friendship before exchanging
our vows. I had hoped that love would eventually follow, after that. But in my eyes, marrying
a friend would feel a lot less scary than marrying a complete stranger. For you and I both."
Ayato smiled at him, a gentle blush dusting the tips of his ears, the bridge of his nose, and
Kaeya couldn't help but to smile back. If their circumstances had been different, if Kaeya
hadn't agreed to be a surrogate, if Diluc hadn't tried to marry him off so soon after their father
died, maybe he and Ayato would have worked. Maybe he would have found a sweet
friendship with the handsome alpha and maybe they'd eventually fall in love and find a
balance to their relationship.
As things were, Kaeya's heart was too full with Zhongli and Ajax, two men that were
undoubtedly very fond of him, but could never love him the same way. Not when they had
already found their perfect match in each other. Even if Ayato eventually learned to love the
wreck that Kaeya was, he wouldn't be able to return his affections in the same way. At least,
not for a very long time.
"The offer still stands, however," Ayato's voice sounded a little quieter, a little more hesitant.
"I understand that marrying me isn't something you want to think about right now, but
perhaps you'd accept my friendship instead? That alone would make me incredibly happy."
"And what if I can never give you more than that?" Kaeya asked, taking note of how Ayato's
hair looked almost silver under the moonlight. "What if a friendship really is the only thing I
am able to offer you?"
"Then I will be the luckiest man alive, if someone as amazing as you considers me worthy of
such a title," Ayato smiled, his eyes sincere, his blush darkening just a little. "Friends?"
Kaeya eyed the hand held out to him and he quickly took it in his grasp. "Friends."
They turned towards the docks when a group of teenagers yelled from down bellow, followed
by loud laughter that echoed into the night. He felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted off
his chest. He felt like he could breathe a little better.
That didn't last long, because just then there was a tightness in his abdomen that rendered him
speechless. A hand flew to the bump as he gasped, eyes firmly focused on one of Ayato's
buttons.
"Shit."
"Kaeya?" Ayato helped him stand up straight, his eyes wide. "Is everything all right?"
He tried to shift his hips, to rock his body side to side while leaning into Ayato's hold.
Eventually the tightness released and he felt normal again, but the seed of panic had settled
within his chest.
"I think I just had a contraction."
Chapter End Notes
Have this long-ass chapter and some Kaeyato crumbs. Enjoy 😏
Imma go slep now mkay 😴
Qixing's trophy wife
Chapter Notes
Content Warning: This chapter contains a very brief mention of a past loss during
childbirth. It does not involve Kaeya or the baby in any way. They're okay, and safe, but
I thought it better to give you a small heads up anyway.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
"Are you sure he's not in labour?"
"Quite positive," Doctor Baizhu's voice sounded from the small speaker of Ajax's phone. He
sounded tired and a little annoyed, which Kaeya couldn't really blame him for. "Just
Braxton's, as usual. Go for a nice stroll or give him a good back rub and it'll help ease the
discomfort."
Ajax had been panicking ever since his first false labour scare three weeks prior, and now
every time Kaeya mentioned having a hick in his vicinity, Ajax would pick up his phone and
call the good doctor - no matter what time it was. The poor man had picked up the phone at
three in the morning once, because Kaeya had felt one while getting up to pee in the middle
of the night.
He had to remind Zhongli to send him a nice big basket of fruit or something, to thank him
for his patience with the young alpha.
"I feel fine, now," Kaeya sighed, leaning his head on Zhongli's shoulder.
"You said they were getting worse!" Ajax argued, narrowing his eyes to where his husband's
hand kept rubbing soothing circles over the massive bulge in Kaeya's middle.
"They tend to get more intense as Kaeya approaches his due date," Doctor Baizhu said on the
other side of the line.
A little girl's voice sounded faintly in the background of the call, followed by a quiet
"Mama's a little busy right now, Qiqi," and Kaeya tried to sit up straight.
"Doctor Baizhu, thank you so much for your time. I'm very sorry for bothering you with this
again. I'll try to make sure next time we contact you I'm actually in the process of giving
birth, or very close to it."
"No trouble at all. I understand the anxiety that comes with being a first time parent. Just
keep doing the exercises I told you about, and let me know as soon as you go into active
labour. Leave everything else to me."
Kaeya reached out and ended the call before Ajax could say another word, his glare enough
to keep the man from saying anything at all, really.
"If I see you dialling that man's number again, before this baby's head is visible between my
legs, I will shove your phone so far up your behind, you'll be tasting it. Have I made myself
clear?"
"But-"
"I asked, are we clear, Ajax?"
He could see the dilation of his pupils, the way those eyes raked over Kaeya's body. If Kaeya
was insatiable, Ajax certainly gave him a run for his money, and something about Kaeya's
threats seemed to do things to him. Things that Kaeya would very much like to explore at
some point.
Not now though. He was trying to look angry, after all.
"Transparent."
Kaeya relaxed back into Zhongli's embrace, his eyes closing as the limo snaked the streets of
Liyue, towards the famed Jade Chamber.
They had been invited to a charity event, and Zhongli and Ajax had refused to go unless
Kaeya went with them, which is how he had found himself two weeks away from his due
date, shoved into Liyuen traditional robes, loose enough to comfortably fit his belly, and
packed into the backseat of a limousine.
The very last thing Kaeya wanted was to be paraded around in an event filled with strangers,
while carrying a small planet in his body. He had felt uncomfortable since morning, his
Braxton's acting up more often than usual, each seeming to last for an eternity before Kaeya
was able to relax again.
A part of him wanted the baby to just come already. He was tired of having a constant
heartburn, tired of being uncomfortable when he slept, tired of having to use the bathroom
every ten minutes, tired of the extra weight that threw him off balance, tired of not being able
to see his own cock, especially when one of the alphas' heads was between his thighs,
servicing him deliciously to satiate his ravenous libido.
He was tired, and emotional, and ready to have this baby so he could finally leave and go
somewhere he could lick his wounds in private. Somewhere he could try to mend his broken
heart, and maybe his relationship with his brother, too, in the process.
"Fuck," Kaeya hissed tears springing to his eyes as the baby punched him again. They've
been exceptionally active today, like they were excited to go to this party. At least someone
was happy to leave the house. Kaeya was seriously considering selling a kidney for the
chance to be curled up in his nest in that moment.
"We can still turn back," Zhongli said as he held Kaeya a little tighter. "You've been looking
uncomfortable all day. We shouldn't have asked you to come."
"Your child is kicking me, of course I am uncomfortable. Besides I've been stuck at home for
too long, I welcome the change of scenery." Kaeya frowned, his hips rolling slightly as he felt
the baby lodge their head lower in his abdomen. "Please, just stay there for now, okay?" he
pleaded with the baby knowing fully well that in less than five minutes they'd be moving
again.
"They're outgrowing their home," Ajax smiled, kissing Kaeya's belly. "They'll relocate soon
enough. Eviction date is coming."
Kaeya hummed, thinking of the nursery Ajax and Zhongli had been so lovingly building and
decorating back at the penthouse. They went with a very soothing night sky theme, with stars
that projected onto the walls, and a big round moon that hung in the centre of the room in the
form of a ceiling lamp. There was technology Kaeya had never even heard of, and plushies in
every shelf. He'd even helped put the crib together after Ajax threatened to break it to pieces
when it refused to assemble correctly.
He'd been as involved as he could, without imposing his opinions unless they asked him
directly. Far be it form him to intrude in the future parents' special moments as they so
lovingly prepared for the arrival of their little bean.
"We're here," Zhongli announced as their limo came to a stop at the foot of the Jade Chamber.
Their driver opened the doors for them, and Kaeya was surprised to see they there wasn't
much press waiting for the guests at the entrance. He'd been expecting cameras, media of
every kind, given the dimension of the Charity Ball. Instead, a valet welcomed them with a
practiced bow and offered to guide them inside the chamber. They were followed by a
handful of clicks from a few cameras, but apart from that it seemed pretty quiet.
The building, however, was visually loud in every way possible. It was undoubtedly an
impressive piece of architecture, majestic and towering over the city like a gift from the old
gods. Legends said that it had floated above Liyue Harbour for centuries, using technology
that to this day no one had been able to replicate.
The structure was illuminated against the night sky, surrounded by paper lanterns. It looked
ethereal, imposing. Looking up at it was jaw-dropping.
They were shuffled into a glass lift that would take them up to the main building, and Kaeya
couldn't help but to gape at the city down below. It was truly beautiful to see the expanse of
the Harbour, spread far and wide before his eyes, until city kissed water, the lights reflected
on the surface. It was nothing short of magical.
"Beautiful, eh?" Ajax smiled, his hand gently resting on the curve of Kaeya's waist. "First
time I saw this view I felt a little overwhelmed."
"It reminds you how small you truly are, compared to the beauty of the world," Kaeya
agreed, turning to kiss Ajax's cheek. "Sorry I yelled at you, earlier."
"Don't be."
Ajax looked like he wanted to elaborate, but the valet, announced their arrival, and the trio
stepped out of the lift and directly into the beautiful garden that surrounded the Chamber.
There was a water feature which sound trickled pleasantly in Kaeya's ears and he felt himself
relax just a fraction before two ladies approached them.
They were tall, elegant, one dressed in white and gold, the other in deep reds and purples.
Zhongli separated from their little group to wrap his arms tightly around the first woman.
"Ningguang, my dear, how good it is to see you again."
"It has been too long, friend. Have you been hiding from us?"
Zhongli let go of the first woman to hug the second, her muscled arms flexing with how
tightly she was hugging back.
"You really need to stop ghosting us. It isn't very nice to leave your friends hanging, yanno?"
"I will do my best to be more considerate, but as you may already know, my life is about to
become a little more exciting," Zhongli turned to Kaeya to hold his hand and bring him
forward. "Ladies, allow me to introduce Kaeya Alberich. He's the lovely mother of our future
child. Kaeya, these are Lady Ningguang of the Liyue Qixing, and her alpha wife Captain
Beidou. They're good friends of ours."
Kaeya bowed his head, unsure of how to greet a lady and her spouse. Wasn't there some sort
of protocol about meeting foreign figures of state? He should have paid more attention to his
tutors. But then again, Ayato had been a lord, hadn't he? And Kaeya hadn't paid ceremony
any mind.
Why did Lady Ningguang intimidate him so much?
"It's a pleasure to meet you," he said eventually, feeling incredibly small under the scrutiny of
the two women.
"You madlad," Beidou gasped, hitting Ajax's arm with her elbow. "You two were having a
child and you didn't tell anyone?"
"We weren't exactly hiding it," Ajax shrugged, leaning his arm on Beidou's shoulder. "We just
didn't make a public announcement."
"Though I understand your desire to keep your lives private," Ningguang started, her hand on
the curve of her small waist as she eyed Kaeya closer. He felt immensely thankful that he'd
remembered to put on his coloured contact before they left the house. "You must remember
that this child is a future heir to your business, as well as an heir to the Liyue Imperial line.
Not announcing it may not sit well with the people."
"I'm sorry, what?" Kaeya frowned, head turning to Zhongli, who'd grown a couple of shades
paler. "Imperial what?"
"Zhongli is a descendent of the Liyue Imperial family," Beidou told him, her eyes narrowing.
"As you well know."
"I didn't," Kaeya slapped Ajax's hand away when he tried to touch his arm. "Why wasn't I
informed of this?"
"Because it wasn't relevant. The imperial family is an institution in name and courtesy alone.
We don't have any say over the legislations or the governing affairs of Liyue. The only reason
why there's still an imperial lineage at all is because the people like that sort of
representation. We're essentially the Qixing's trophy wife - there to look beautiful and very
little else." Zhongli informed him, his hand gently taking Kaeya's.
"So I've been carrying, what, a future emperor, and you never thought of mentioning this to
me?" Kaeya wasn't really sure why he was feeling so upset about the revelation. He'd
privately thought Zhongli a prince, himself, but in the fairytale sense. Never in the real,
legitimate, blood sense. "How should I address you, your highness? Do you even have an
official title?"
Ajax cleared his throat, and announced with a hint of mockery, "His Excellency, The Exalted
Rex Lapis, Master Qilin, First Adeptus and Protector of Liyue and its Peoples, Prince
Zhongli," he smirked, leaning a little closer to Kaeya. "The second."
"The second? Oh, well, that makes all the difference, then!" sarcasm dripped from every
syllable like poison.
"The first was his great grandfather, if I recall correctly."
Zhongli sighed. "Ajax."
"Hey, if it makes you feel any better, he only told me about a month before our wedding. I
mean, I already knew, of course. After making the mistake of underestimating his business
conduct, I learned all I could about him. But he was insistent that I should be very aware of
what it entailed. Something about the formalities of marrying into the imperial family, and
whatnot. Where do you think my title came from? Childe Ajax, Lord Consort of Liuye. I
hated it at first, but I grew fond of the nickname."
"I need to sit down." Kaeya felt a little dizzy, a little sick, and honestly he didn't really want
to look at Zhongli at the moment. Or Ajax. Or anyone, really, he was feeling the
uncomfortable pressure of his Braxton's again, and he needed alcohol more than anything. He
wouldn't consume any, mind you, but stars, he needed it.
Just when he thought that he'd started to figure them both out, they went ahead and slapped
him in the face with that small bombshell. What next? Was Ajax a descendent of a long lost
line of demigods from Snezhnaya? Should he start praying to a shrine to honour his godly
ancestors, or sowmthing?
He felt a cool hand hook around his elbow and gently guiding him inside the beautiful Jade
Chamber, but he was too uncomfortable and too overwhelmed to take notice of the intricate
details carved into the doors and the tall columns that supported the building. Instead, he
allowed Beidou to guide him to a quiet area in the main room of the event, where people
dressed in outfits more expensive than a house, boasted about the jewellery that weighed
around their neck, on their ears, atop their heads.
Kaeya himself was wearing a simple earring, made of Noctilucous Jade, especially designed
by Zhongli as a gift for him. He wore it proudly on his left ear, and shuddered every time the
long jewel tickled his neck. It was a pleasant weight, a souvenir that he would forever hold
close to his heart.
Now he couldn't help but to feel pathetic. If he had ever held any breath of hope that by some
miracle Zhongli and Ajax would ever see him in the same light as he saw them, then that
hope had been completely and utterly obliterated with the revelation of Zhongli's lineage.
Even if they felt the same, which was already monumentally unlikely, the public would never
approve of their precious golden prince welcoming a third party to what was undoubtedly an
already controversial marriage. Even though Kaeya was an omega, and therefore an ideal
match, not only was he the son of a nameless servant from a hostile nation, his involvement
would likely discredit Zhongli's relationship with Ajax.
"Do you want some water? You're looking a little pale," Beidou offered, holding out a sealed
bottle of water. The bottle itself was obnoxiously fancy, made of glass with a golden cap that
could probably serve as jewellery, too, if someone was creative enough.
"Thank you," he reached out and took the bottle before bringing it to his lips. It tasted like
regular tap water, which almost made Kaeya laugh.
"Sorry to drop that info on you like that," Beidou was saying as she took a seat next to him. "I
genuinely thought you knew. I mean, everyone knows Zhongli around these parts, you know.
He's been involved in a fair share of controversies. From his first marriage, to his wife's
death, to marrying another alpha. People tend to be very respectful of his privacy, though."
"What do you mean, first wife?" Kaeya asked, his voice breaking. Surely not. Surely not!
"Yeah! Guizhong! She and their firstborn died in childbirth- Ah, you didn't- I should not have
told you any of that." Beidou pinched the bridge of her nose and looked down at her hands. "I
mean, it doesn't mean that anything will happen with your baby. Loads of kids are born every
day and they're still alive and well! Unless something goes really wrong - which definitely
happens a lot more than it should, - you two should be alright!" She stopped talking when she
finally noticed the terror in Kaeya's teary eyes. "I keep fucking up, don't I? Sorry, I- I'll leave
you to it."
Kaeya's fingers splayed protectively over the baby bump, his hands shaking with the images
Beidou's careless words have conjured in his head. He could not picture a best case scenario
anymore. He could only imagine himself bleeding to death in the delivery room, while their
child suffocated inside him.
The panic had set, and he was finding it hard to breathe. Even more so when another
contraction pulled his muscles taut in his lower abdomen. He wished they'd stop, except they
were a reminder that the baby was healthy, that the pregnancy was running its course as it
should. Painful though they had become, especially since early that morning, Kaeya couldn't
help but to be thankful that they were still happening.
A gentle hand rubbed soothing circles around Kaeya's back, and when he looked up, he could
see Zhongli looking down at him, Ajax standing at his side.
"How are you feeling, darling?"
Kaeya wanted to ask Zhongli about Guizhong, about their baby, about why he had never
mentioned either of them. But he couldn't think beyond the discomfort he was feeling, so he
just shrugged, and took another sip of his water.
"I want to go home, curl in my nest, and pretend today never happened," Kaeya said,
straining his voice to be heard above the string sextet playing on stage.
"We can go," Ajax offered, looking at Zhongli for confirmation. "If Kaeya isn't feeling well,
we should definitely go home."
"It's fine," Kaeya sighed, and brushed a strand of hair away from his face. "This is a charity
event and we just got here. It would be unseemly to leave before the donation event even
started. Go be charitable. Just let me be alone for a bit."
"Are you certain?" Zhongli asked, kissing Kaeya's knuckles. "What if I stay here with you
while Ajax mingles?"
Kaeya huffed out a humourless laugh. "No offence, but you are quite possibly the last person
I want to see right now. You may think hiding information from me is meaningless to you,
but- Never mind. Just let me be alone for a while. I need to cool off a little," Kaeya sighed,
shifting in his seat to better adjust his belly and the position of his hips.
A look of guilt crossed Zhongli's eyes but he nodded silently, and stood back up. There was
something akin to regret in his eyes, but he didn't say anything as he turned to leave. Kaeya
watched him take Ajax's hand and lead him into the crowded dance floor.
He had underestimated how much it actually hurt to see Zhongli look that crestfallen, but
Kaeya wasn't going to apologise. Not when he felt so vulnerable and naked. He'd always
been protective of his own secrets, of his own private life. And in a matter of months,
because he had so foolishly fallen in love, he had spilled secrets that he had promised he'd
never mention to anyone so long as his lungs drew breath.
And yet, Zhongli had never thought to mention that not only did he have royal heritage, he
was also a widower, who'd lost his wife and child to the dangers of childbirth. Like that
wasn't relevant for his own situation. Like Kaeya meant so little, he wasn't even worth
sharing that sort of information with.
He knew now, at least. He knew what they saw when they looked at him. At long last, after
thirty-seven long weeks, he finally understood that Kaeya had been just a uterus, and not
much else. As soon as his purpose was over with, they'd shake his hand, thank him for a job
well done, and never think of him again.
Kaeya had exposed his heart, its scars, its open wounds, and he'd trusted them to be gentle.
Instead they'd poured alcohol into the gaping hole in his chest, and Kaeya had been so
distracted with the way it burned, he forgot to keep them away, to protect what little was still
left.
Truly, it was nobody's fault but his own. Someone had showed him what it was like to feel
respected and wanted, and suddenly twenty-four years of carefully navigating the truth was
for naught, and he'd given them everything he'd ever feared to show in a gold platter, along
with his bleeding heart.
The sextet switched the melodies to something a little slower, a little more romantic, and
pairs were now gathering at the centre of the room to dance together before the donation
speech. Kaeya nursed his ridiculously expensive bottle of water and made an effort to forget
about the pain that had flooded his chest.
After all, this was it. This was his chance to finally gather the courage to distance himself
from Ajax and Zhongli. This was the opening he'd been hoping for. And yet, now that it was
happening, he couldn't help but to resent it. If anything, it was a lesson learned. Never trust
anyone with his heart again. People would ultimately hurt him, no matter who they were.
Every single person he's ever loved had torn him apart in one way or another.
His mother and Crepus died before he truly understood the concept of having a family or his
place in one. Diluc had tried to force him into a life of obedience and little freedom. Zhongli
and Ajax had been the exception, until Kaeya realised how little he truly meant to them.
Outside of being a live-in incubator and occasional jerk off doll, they hadn't even regarded
Kaeya as a friend. Certainly not close enough to let him know details about their lives that
apparently every other stranger in Liyue Harbour was already privy to.
He felt sick to his stomach, so he stood up to walk it off. He couldn't just sit there drinking
water at this excessively fancy event, and look pretty for Zhongli and Ajax to boast about to
anyone who'd give them the time of day. Not anymore.
Kaeya walked out of the main room, and this time, in order to keep his mind off the rising
bout of sickness, he focused on the detailed engravings on the columns of the Jade Chamber,
on the gilded decorations that spread throughout the expanse of the high ceiling.
The doors opened for him to pass and he made his way out of the lobby and to the gardens.
The moon was shining round and bright in the night sky. Everything looked silver under its
light, and Kaeya felt immediately more at ease. Liyue truly lived up to its name.
He followed the water feature, breathing in the cool night breeze and feeling his stomach
settling gradually. The path ended on a small artificial pond, and Kaeya smiled as he looked
down into the water. Lotus flowers floated among the colourful brocade carps that swam
about back and forth. He sat on a bench by the lake with some effort, his hand supporting his
stomach and rubbing it absentmindedly.
There was a tiny kick against his hand, and Kaeya quickly moved it somewhere else, tapping
his belly there to see if the baby would respond. Soon after, another flutter against his hand
had Kaeya smiling down at the bulge in his middle. They'd been restless all day, maybe
sensing Kaeya's discomfort, the baby hadn't been able to settle, either. And sure, he was ready
for this baby to be born, but a part of him wished he could keep them there forever, keep
them safe, love them and teach them about the world.
The tightness of a contraction stole his breath away for a moment, his eyes screwing shut at
the same time. It felt different from all the ones before, and sitting wasn't helping with the
cramps, so when the pain subsided, he decided that walking around was likely to help relieve
the tension a little.
However, as he stood up, something shifted. No, that wasn't quite right. It was more like a
popping sensation than a shift. He frowned down at himself.
"Kaeya!"
He glanced up at Zhongli and Ajax, who were speed-walking towards him, twin looks of
concern and confusion on their faces. Kaeya would find it amusing if he wasn't feeling so
confused himself.
"You disappeared!" Ajax was panting, his eyes bright with something Kaeya couldn't quite
decipher. "One second you were there, the other you weren't."
"I understand you needing some space, but please, remember to let us know when you're
making yourself absent so we don't grow concerned," Zhongli added, holding out a gloved
hand towards Kaeya when he noticed his discomfort. "Is something the matter?"
Kaeya wasn't quite sure for a moment. He remained quiet, his eyes still pinned to the swell of
his stomach, as though the baby was somehow going to tell him what exactly was going on.
And then, slowly, he felt it. Like a trickle, running down his thighs, dampening his
underwear.
"Oh," Kaeya gapsed, understanding finally dawning on him.
"What is it? Kaeya? Are you in pain?" Ajax demanded, both his hands coming to hold onto
his belly.
"No. It's just-" Kaeya looked up at Zhongli, then at Ajax. "I'm pretty sure my waters just
went."
Chapter End Notes
*cracks knuckles* Aight. Playtime's over.
Consequences
Chapter Notes
Content Warning: This chapter contains non-graphic descriptions of labour and delivery,
and discussions of mental health. As always, stay safe.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Kaeya was fine.
No, really, he was. Sure he was having the occasional contraction, but it was nothing
unbearable yet. They'd called doctor Baizhu as soon as they'd arrived home - a hasty
departure, in Kaeya's opinion. Even if his waters had gone, he was still feeling fairly all right.
Leaving the event early had been unnecessary, but not unwelcome.
Ajax had started to panic, for some reason, and even Zhongli had gone very pale, and Kaeya
didn't want to think about the kind of trauma he should be relieving in that moment, the
haunting memories of his late wife and child dying during the birthing process. So he didn't
think about it at all. He thought, instead, about whether or not he'd be able to take a nap
before the baby decided that they were ready to be delivered.
Not to say that he wasn't afraid. Because he most definitely was close to shitting himself with
fear. He was also, however, ready for it.
In the past couple of months, they'd gone to birthing classes, so Kaeya sort of knew what to
expect, mostly. What he hadn't been prepared for, was how genuinely panicked both Ajax and
Zhongli were behaving.
"I thought your mother birthed like fifteen children," Kaeya pointed out with an eye roll
when Ajax screamed into a pillow for the third time in just as many minutes. "Aren't you
used to this?"
"She had ten kids, eight pregnancies, two sets of twins, thank you very much, and I'm the
fourth youngest," Ajax lamented, pushing his hair out of his face. "Besides, there's a pretty
massive difference; she wasn't giving birth to my children."
"I sure hope not," Kaeya sighed, his eyes rolling, unimpressed. "What about you?" Kaeya
asked Zhongli, who was sitting very still on the comfortable armchair of the living room.
He'd poured himself a tumbler of aged whiskey from Fontaine, but he hadn't touched it since
he'd sat down. "At least breathe so I know you're alive."
"I am extremely nervous," Zhongli confessed simply, his voice uncharacteristically small.
"I know last time you went through this process things didn't end well. But this time will be
different, okay? We're both healthy, we've been closely monitored by one of the best
obstetricians in Teyvat, your baby is going to be okay," Kaeya tried to comfort, shifting on
the birthing ball where he was rolling his hips around. "You have to believe that history won't
repeat itself."
That seemed to snap Zhongli out of his thoughts. "How in Morax's whiskers..."
"Beidou means well, but her mouth is too big," Kaeya yawned, shifting his position again so
he was kneeling on the floor, his arms around the ball as he leaned his head against it. "I
really want to nap."
"Then nap," Zhongli encouraged. "You need to save your energy for later. I imagine that
birthing a child is not going to be an easy nor relaxing process."
Pouting, Kaeya thought about just closing his eyes and sleeping right there, but he knew his
knees would end up hurting like a scorned mistress, so he stood up, gasping at the discomfort
of another contraction as his hand shot to hold onto something. Anything. He grabbed Ajax's
arm, as he was the first to reach for him, and helped steady him upright.
"Want to go to your nest?" Ajax asked once the contraction was over.
"Yes, please. Bring the ball with you."
Kaeya shook off Ajax's hands and walked back up the stairs towards his room. He was
thankful for having the foresight to start packing his things way ahead of time. Even though
his due date wasn't set for another two weeks, Kaeya knew that babies often decided to come
early, and he knew that after the birth he'd be far too sore and tired to do anything. So he'd
started packing his clothes and toiletries, a couple of blankets that still held Ajax's and
Zhongli's scents in the fabric, their small gifts throughout the almost nine months they'd been
living together.
When he came to Liyue, his entire life had fit in two suitcases. He had four almost fully
packed, now, and one halfway through being filled, missing only his most comfortable latepregnancy clothes and a few books.
It was nothing short of hilarious, really, that he now had more stuff than he knew what to do
with, but no home to go back to, once he left Liyue and returned to Mondstadt. Maybe Mona
and Fischl would let him crash at their place until he was able to find a half decent flat to live
in. Or maybe he'd swallow the tatters of his pride, and just call Diluc.
But those were concerns for much later, after he'd pushed this child out, after he'd recovered
enough to leave - physically, at least. For now he'd just lay in bed, curl up in the nest of
blankets and shirts and plushies he'd collected over the months, and allow his body some rest
before labour started properly.
Which didn't happen for almost twenty hours. Kaeya had taken at least four naps during that
time, waking up occasionally to eat something light, drink plenty of water, and try to reassure
both alpha parents that yes, the baby was fine, the baby was moving, labour just took time to
happen sometimes.
The sun was setting again by the time his contractions had become too painful and
uncomfortable, so he'd finally asked the future parents to grab the baby bag and drive him to
the clinic where Doctor Baizhu would most likely be waiting for them to arrive.
"How bad is it?" Ajax asked him for the sixth time after a particularly painful contraction had
left Kaeya gasping for air.
Losing his patience, Kaeya balled his hand into a fist and punched Ajax in the groin. Not
hard enough to seriously injure him. Just hard enough to get his point across.
"Like that, but multiply it by a hundred. If you ask me again, I will make sure to give you a
more accurate demonstration, so I strongly suggest you shut the ever loving fuck up," he
growled, feeling a little satisfaction in the tears springing to the corners of Ajax's eyes, his
hands cupped over his groin as he nodded vehemently at Kaeya.
"Message received. Duly noted. Fuck that hurt," Ajax grunted.
"Time between contractions has been decreasing incredibly fast," Zhongli noted, looking
down at the notes in his phone where he'd been timing his contractions and their duration. "In
the past hour and a half, they went from ten minutes apart to only four."
"Do you need to push yet?" Ajax asked, taking a reluctant step back, clearly remembering
Kaeya's threats.
"It's weird," Kaeya said, feeling oddly detached from his own body. Everything felt a little
surreal. Like he wasn't entirely there. "I feel pressure in my pelvis, definitely, I feel the baby
slowly inching down. I don't feel like pushing yet, but it feels natural that that's the next
step."
"Should we call Doctor Baizhu?" Zhongli suggested, and Kaeya nodded.
He then leaned back in his hospital bed, and closed his eyes, a hand trembling as he rubbed
around his stomach. It felt like a dream, this moment. After months of hormonal imbalance,
of waking up horny, of having his favourite shirts ruined with his leaking breasts, of his entire
body changing to accommodate a child, it was finally coming to an end.
Someone gently brushed Kaeya's hair away from his face. He'd put it up in a high bun after
arriving at the clinic, to keep it safely away as he birthed a whole baby, but with moving
around some strands had fallen off the messy updo.
"I don't think I've said this enough," Zhongli was saying, and Kaeya blinked his eyes open to
lazily look at him, "But what you're doing for us is something I will never be able to repay."
"Don't-" Kaeya sighed, leaning away from his touch. "This isn't the time for that. Had I said
no, you'd still find someone else to have this child for you. Besides, this is just business, to
you, right? You pay me and I push a baby out of my body. It is what it is. Don't need to come
out with big speeches now that it's almost over."
Zhongli's eyes widened at the words, like he couldn't quite process what Kaeya had said.
Guess he was fine with pretending to care until the very last minute. Well too bad, Kaeya
thought, he was done pretending. He was done making excuses for these men just because
he'd been stupid enough to fall for them.
"Is that what this is?" Ajax asked from his seat next to his husband. There was an icy layer to
his tone that Kaeya wasn't entirely comfortable with. "A business transaction?"
"Isn't it?" Kaeya asked, meeting Ajax's eyes.
"We're talking about a child! Not merchandise!"
"A child you paid very handsomely for me to grow in my body," Kaeya laughed, but the
humour was gone from his voice. Instead, it quickly turned into a moan of deep pain, and he
felt his legs parting as the baby's head pressed further down his birthing canal. "I think it's
close, now."
Doctor Baizhu had come in at some point when Kaeya was struggling after a contraction, and
had given them the go-ahead to move to the delivery room. Kaeya's legs were too weak to
hold his weight, all of his focus on keeping the patterns of his breathing steady and deep so
he could try to control his pain a little better.
He was wheeled to the delivery room, where a gaggle of nurses was waiting for him, their
purple scrubs a blur in Kaeya's eyes. Ajax and Zhongli had stopped before entering the
delivery room to put on their own scrubs so they could enter the sterile area. Everything was
a foggy mess after that.
Kaeya had been confident in himself. He'd studied the theory, he'd watched several delivery
videos, of both male and female omegas alike. He'd done his exercises, used his birthing ball
to exercise his hips, and he'd practiced his breathing techniques.
And yet, all of that preparation was for naught the moment Doctor Baizhu told him to push.
Because Kaeya did, and he felt his lower body split in two, a pain so intense he almost passed
out with the effort.
Nothing could have prepared him for that.
One of his hands was being held, if by Zhongli or Ajax, he couldn't tell, all he knew was that
he could feel the bones of that hand shifting the more he squeezed it, with every fruitless
push.
"Fuck- I can't," Kaeya gasped, throwing his head back. He could feel the sweat dripping from
his temples, the damp hair at his hairline sticking to his face. He felt tears streaming down his
cheeks, and it still felt like he had made no progress at all.
"You're doing so well," a nurse was saying, her overly cheery voice grating in his ears. He
wanted to punch her square in the teeth. He didn't, of course. It wasn't her fault that he was
currently experiencing the worst brand of pain he ever had. But, oh, he wanted to.
"Kaeya," Zhongli called, his voice deep and soothing. "I'm sorry it hurts, but we're here for
you. Just a little more and the pain will stop, okay? Our baby is almost here."
Despite himself, Kaeya felt his lips curling into a little smile, fragile and broken. "I'm
scared," he breathed, his lips dry his voice trembling. "I'm so scared. I want my big brother. I
don't think I can do this."
"I know, angel," Ajax said, gently brushing Kaeya's hair away from his forehead. "We're
scared, too."
"Mn, terrified," Zhongli easily agreed. "But you have to be brave for the baby. Okay? They're
ready to meet us, now. So just endure it for a little longer, and then they'll be here, and the
pain will go away."
Kaeya hissed in pain as the need to push brushed away any reply he could have given.
Instead he allowed his mind to shut down, as he gave his instincts control of his body. He was
built for this, the omega in him knew exactly what it had to do, so Kaeya stopped fighting,
stopped trying to have control over the situation, and let his body do the rest.
Time became an abstract concept. He could vaguely hear Ajax and Zhongli talking to him,
but their scents had his focus more than their words. He wasn't sure if it had been minutes, or
hours, it could have been weeks for all he cared, but at some point he heard the celebratory
cheers of the nurses around him.
"The head is out! Good job! Such a good mama!"
Feeling a primal kind of pride, Kaeya heard himself briefly purring at the praise. Yeah, he
was a good mama, doing his best to deliver his baby into the world. The omega in him
preened. The person in him shattered that happiness by reminding him that he was not the
baby's parent, and therefore, it wasn't his place to join the celebration with the rest of them.
He was just there to do a job.
After the head, the baby seemed to slip right off, after a couple more pushes. They came out
screaming, a healthy set of lungs crying out their arrival to the world. A wave of emotion
rippled violently through Kaeya, and he itched to quiet that cry, to hold the baby close to his
chest, to let them nurse off of his leaking breasts, so full of milk as they were.
Not your baby, he reminded himself as the nurse approached him with the bundle in her arms.
"There you go, mama. You can hold your baby boy, now."
A boy. He'd given the men he loved a little baby boy.
Kaeya shut his eyes tightly, and turned his head away from the nurse. He couldn't do it. He
couldn't look at the baby. He knew that if he did he wouldn't be able to part with him
anymore. He wouldn't be able to say goodbye. To give him away to his rightful parents.
So he turned away, rejecting the child even when every cell in his body ached to hold him in
his arms. Even when all he wanted to do was to bring his son to his chest and scent him and
mark him as his and care for that child and love him until he had nothing left of himself.
But Zhongli and Ajax loved the baby just as much. They'd wanted the baby so fiercely, and
they'd prepared so well for his arrival Kaeya would never forgive himself if he took their
happiness away. Not when he knew that they could give the little boy a life infinitely better
than Kaeya ever would.
"Kae?" Ajax called, fingertips tentatively touching Kaeya's shoulder. "You can hold the baby,
now. He's here. He's finally here. You did so well. If anyone deserves to hold him first, it's
you. A baby boy. You gave us a baby boy."
"No," Kaeya said, his voice cracking after the effort of childbirth. His throat felt dry all the
way down to his oesophagus.
"It's okay, mister Kaeya. All new parents are a little nervous to hold their babies for the first
time, but you have nothing to fear," the nurse insisted, getting close to him again. "We're right
here to help."
"I said no!" Kaeya snapped, his voice rising.
The silence that had settled in the room would have been deafening if it weren't for the baby's
cries, now less desperate but still there.
"W-what about the dads?" The nurse tried, moving along and Kaeya heard her footsteps
move away from him and towards where Zhongli and Ajax were sitting next to him.
"Go on, Zhongli," Ajax murmured. "My hands are too shaky. I'm afraid I might drop him."
With his eyes still closed, Kaeya zoned out again. It was over. It was finally over. His heart
could bleed, now.
"Ready to deliver the afterbirth?" Doctor Baizhu asked, his tone oddly mechanical. Kaeya
supposed his rejection of the baby hadn't been taken well by the good doctor.
Good. If they thought he was a horrible parent, at least they would stop insisting that he
interacted with the baby.
Delivering the placenta had been extremely unpleasant, but not at all painful. All he could
feel once the whole ordeal was over, was a bone-deep exhaustion that caused Kaeya to lose
consciousness for a couple of minutes, before he woke up to a cool towel being pressed to his
forehead.
His eyes fluttered open and he looked up at the nurse.
"We'll help clean you up and change into a clean gown. You can rest now," she told him, her
lips curling into a gentle smile.
"M'kay," Kaeya responded, his eyes closing again. He let the cool touch of the towel on his
forehead to slowly lull him back to sleep.
×
When he woke up again, he was back in his private room, alone with a massive bouquet of
flowers, an elegant jar with water, and a stuffed bunny with floppy ears sitting on his bedside
table. Kaeya reached for the bunny and held it in his hands, his thumbs running through the
inside of the ears and feeling the soft texture of the fabric there.
Ajax had gifted it to him months ago, and Kaeya had immediately added it to his nest. He'd
often hold it close and breathe in the mixed scents of Ajax and Zhongli that had stuck to the
fabric. And then, later, his own scent, with hints of the baby's; sweet and floral and milky.
That bunny held the whole family in its stuffing, and Kaeya pressed his nose to its belly and
breathed in deeply.
He tried to think back to the very few toys he'd had as child, to remember if he'd had his own
childhood stuffed best friend, but his memory came up blank. He hardly remembered his
mother's face, so if he had had a favourite plushie, he would definitely have forgotten it by
then.
He found himself hugging the bunny close to his chest, as tough his body was trying
desperately to replace the lack of a baby with anything else that was soft and small. His
breasts hurt with the need to feed the child he'd given birth to, small though they were. And
his instincts were constantly on high alert, as though trying to understand why the baby
wasn't in his arms, when he clearly belonged there.
Kaeya felt sick, so he pressed his nose to the bunny again and allowed his sobs to rack his
body as he mourned. There was so much hurt in him, emotional, physical, spiritual, every
breath was a chore. But he cried, and he cried and he cried until his eyes were dry. He knew
not how long he'd been crying for, or if anyone had heard him while he was so desperately
grieving, but eventually he felt himself gradually calm down Sobs turning to hiccoughs,
turning to shuddery breaths.
Ajax and Zhongli hadn't visited so far. They were either done with Kaeya, or too wrapped up
in their perfect little boy to care about what happened to him, now that his job was over. But
their absence said everything Kaeya needed to know.
Now that he'd delivered the baby, the spell had been broken at last. That attraction and care
they'd felt towards him had finally come to an end. Unfortunately, Kaeya craved their
presence even more, now. He needed someone to hold him, someone to comfort him after his
loss, someone to promise that he would be okay, that he wouldn't be alone. But he wouldn't
be finding any comfort or sympathy from them. Not this time.
"Good to see you're awake, Kaeya. How are you feeling?" Doctor Baizhu asked as he
sauntered into the room. Kaeya hadn't even heard the door open or close.
"Fine," Kaeya sighed, noting how dry his throat was. He refused to set the bunny back on the
bedside table and instead hugged it closer to his chest. "When can I go home?"
Doctor Baizhu's eyebrows shot up and he looked down at Kaeya with a small frown. "You
just delivered a baby. Give your body time to recover a little. As expected, your body was
fairly narrow to accommodate the birth, which complicated things a little, so recovery will
take longer than normal."
"My body is fine. When can I go home?" Kaeya repeated with a sigh. He felt tired, and
uncomfortable and sore and emotional and he just wanted to get to his nest and lie in it for
the rest of forever. "Please."
"Kaeya, I would like to talk to you frirst," Doctor Baizhu sat down on one of the chairs next
to the bed. "I believe that it would be to your best interest to talk to someone about the
current state of your mental health. Surrogacy is a complex and difficult process to go
through, and without proper support and adequate counseling it might have some concerning
consequences."
"I don't need a professional to tell me I'm sad," Kaeya closed his eyes, his head shaking in
disbelief. "What I need is to go home and recover so I can try to move on with my life."
"I understand. But still, the way you refused to hold your baby after delivery-"
"It's not my baby!" Kaeya yelled, every word feeling like a rusty nail being embedded deep
into his fragile heart. He narrowed his eyes at the doctor, his scent flaring unpleasantly in the
room. Doctor Baizhu wrinkled his nose minutely, but otherwise his reaction was surprisingly
non-existent. He tried to rein it back in before he proceeded. "I was a surrogate. The baby has
been delivered and handed to his rightful parents. I am asking you, for the last time, when can
I go home? Either you tell me, or I will not wait to be discharged and walk out by myself."
The doctor sighed, rubbing a tired hand over his forehead. "Very well. We'll need to run a
couple of checkups before we let you go, but as soon as we confirm that there have been no
complications with the birth, you're free to leave You'll be kept under observation for tonight,
so late morning tomorrow at the latest, you can expect to go home."
"Good, thank you."
"Now," Doctor Baizhu slipped his hand into the breast pocket of his white coat and pulled out
a card. "I understand that you're from Mondstadt. This is the contact to a very good
psychiatrist. Her name is Lisa Minci, she specialises in omega care and she's one of the best
in her field. If you change your mind about seeking psychotherapy, I'd strongly suggest you
give her a call."
Kaeya eyed the card, but he hesitated to take it. Doctor Baizhu, however, seemed to be
playing the waiting game, and he was ready to wait for as long as it took, as he seemingly
wouldn't relent until Kaeya took the card. With a sigh, he reached out and plucked it from the
doctor's hands, his fingers playing absently with its pointy corners. Just because he took it, it
didn't mean he'd have to call, and at least it would get the doctor off his case for the time
being.
"The baby's meal is in about an hour. We usually invite the parents to feed their newborns as
it helps strengthen their bond with the child. However your situation is quite exceptional.
You're more than welcome to come feed him yourself if you feel so inclined."
"That won't be necessary."
Doctor Baizhu sighed, and stood up to leave. "The offer will still remain, if you have a
change of heart."
Kaeya watched the doctor leave, a heavy weight settling like an anvil in his chest.
Yes. Yes, more than anything he wanted to feed his baby. He was a good omega, he could
feed his baby so well, make his little tummy so full with good healthy milk. Thinking about
not doing it was painful enough to make Kaeya feel nauseated, so he slid down into the
sheets, and hid his head under the pillow.
"Tomorrow can't come fast enough."
Chapter End Notes
I was only going to post tomorrow, but I remembered that today's Tortellini's birthday.
So, to celebrate Tarantula's bday, have some angst. And a baby, I suppose. Tagliatelle's a
dad now. He's a dad on his birthday. Except in the story it's currently set in April so...
Aight enjoy the pain bye 😘
Mine to Love
Chapter Notes
Content Warning: Kaeya's mental health steady decline. At this point you're familiar
with the tags. Stay safe.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Ajax looked like he needed to sleep for a month straight. Kaeya was almost afraid to get into
the car with him, lest the man fall asleep behind the wheel, but the thought of taking a cab or
getting into a bus so soon after giving birth was as appealing as stabbing himself in the thigh
with a rusty fork. So he followed the alpha to the car and settled in the back seat so he could
lay back and take the pressure off his sore hips.
When Ajax arrived to pick him up, he looked like he wasn't quite sure if he should talk to
Kaeya or not. It was like now that he was no longer carrying his child, there was no real
reason for him to bother speaking to him anymore. It had stung deeply within Kaeya's chest,
but then again, wasn't this what he had wanted? Wasn't distance what he'd needed to finally
find the courage to let them go?
"So... H-how are you feeling?" Ajax asked, his words oddly hesitant.
"Fine," Kaeya said, leaning his head against the window and shifting his hips again. He
couldn't find a comfortable enough position that would relieve some of his pain.
Silence fell within the confines of the car for a while. Kaeya watched the landscape rush by
until the car pulled up at a red light. A woman was walking her three dogs outside, when a
little boy clapped his hands and asked to pet them. Kaeya watched him reach out to touch one
of the dogs, but the car was back in motion before the boy could touch them.
"Our baby has a big appetite," Ajax commented, his voice showing all the awe he
undoubtedly felt when thinking of his baby boy. "The nurses said he's very healthy, even if he
was born a little earlier than expected."
Kaeya closed his eyes. He didn't want to know. He didn't want to hear about the baby. The
more he knew the harder it would be to leave him when the time came. And something told
him he was going to leave sooner than he had anticipated. He didn't know why or when, but
his gut feeling told him that he'd soon be relocating again.
"Zhongli found out that singing helps him to sleep," Ajax tried again. "I guess he's used to
hear you hum. We're bringing him home tomorrow, so maybe you could sing to him-"
"Ajax, I'm exhausted. Please let me rest in silence," Kaeya choked, his eyes brimming with
tears even though they were closed.
There was nothing in this forsaken world that he wanted more than to hold his baby and sing
him to sleep. There was nothing he wanted more than to watch Ajax rock him in his arms, or
watch Zhongli struggle to change a nappy. If only Ajax knew just how painful his words
were, maybe he wouldn't have said them out loud. Maybe he would have spared Kaeya's
tender heart.
Or maybe he wouldn't have cared either way.
Kaeya didn't sleep the whole way home, but stars, he wanted to. He wanted to pass out and
only wake up when his body felt strong enough to run so far away his legs would cramp and
his lungs would burn. Run far from the memories of what he'd lived with the men he loved.
Run from all the images his heart conjured of the life he could not have.
Ajax parked the car in the garage and turned around in his seat. Kaeya could feel his
hesitation, on whether or not to wake him, on whether or not he should touch him. So he
opened his eyes and straightened up, wincing at the soreness in his lower body.
"Do you need help-"
Kaeya opened the door and got off the car, before slamming the door back closed. His legs
nearly gave out, so he leaned against a nearby pillar, and only dared to move again when
Ajax's footsteps sounded from behind.
"Kaeya," Ajax called, stopping close enough that Kaeya could smell him, could feel the heat
of his body on his left, somewhere behind his back. "What's going on?"
"I'm sore and tired. Can we please go inside?"
"What's wrong with you?" Ajax tried again, his impatience bleeding through his voice.
Kaeya refused to look back at him. "What do you want from me?"
"I want to know why you hate us so much. Why did you reject our baby? Why are you acting
like a sack of shit?" Ajax demanded, his voice rising within the empty walls of the garage.
"Are you that relieved that your 'business transaction' is finally over and done with? Is that
it?"
Kaeya's head throbbed. "Aren't you?" he hummed, looking up at the ceiling. One of the
overhead lights kept blinking on and off, the electric buzz a constant that was starting to grate
on Kaeya's ears. "I still don't know what else you want from me. You wanted a child. You
paid me for a child. I gave you a child. Now can we please go inside?"
"Do you not care at all? Do you even want know his name? You didn't even dare to look at
him! After all, your bank account is nice and fat now, right? You got what you wanted, didn't
you?"
"And what difference does it make to you?!" Kaeya yelled, finally turning to look at Ajax. He
refused to cry. He couldn't cry, no matter what. He was tired of crying, tired of feeling weak
and vulnerable and emotional and so utterly pathetic. "What fucking difference does it make?
Why should I look at him? He's not my son! I have nothing to do with him! I gave birth to
him, that's it! He's your problem now! End of story!"
"Our son is not a problem!" Ajax shouted back, his eyes wide with fury. Kaeya would have
felt intimidated, if the sadness engulfing his heart hadn't been so all-consuming. "You treat
him like he's a parasite! Our son is a gift and yet you treat him like you couldn't be happier to
see him gone!"
"He's your gift, Ajax! He's your son! Your gift! Your blessing! Not mine!" Kaeya's throat felt
tight with emotion. He gasped for air, leaning heavily against the pillar. "He was never mine
to love!"
Habit guided his hand to the swell of his stomach, but it was dreadfully empty now. Even
though his womb still looked full, there was nothing in there to greet, no baby to kick back,
no foot pressed against the underside of his ribs. Only a dreadful vast nothingness. Kaeya felt
a whole new level of loneliness, then, one that left him weak at the knees.
He only knew he was falling when strong arms held him by the waist before he could hit the
floor.
"Easy now, sweetheart. I've got you," Zhongli's voice soothed, his presence solid and steady.
"Ajax, what's going on? I heard shouting."
Ajax scoffed, and walked past them both, his hands clenched at his sides, trembling as he
disappeared through the heavy door that separated the garage from the lobby of their
building.
"Kaeya?" Zhongli tried again.
"I just want to lie down," Kaeya said, carefully shaking Zhongli's hands off him. "Please don't
touch me."
The ride up the lift to the penthouse was heavy with silence and thick with tension. Ajax
glared at Kaeya the entire way up, and Zhongli seemed to be exercising every muscle not to
help Kaeya stay upright and honour his request to not be touched.
Upon entering the house, Ajax threw the hospital bag to the floor and walked away towards
the home gym. Kaeya, on the other hand, leaned heavily against the wall as he slowly
climbed the steps one by one towards his- towards the guest rooms upstairs. He could feel
Zhongli hovering at the entrance, unsure if should go to his husband or help Kaeya not fall on
his face.
"Go to him," Kaeya said, his eyes focused on the next step. "He needs you far more than I
do."
"You're not well yet. I should-"
"Let me rephrase that in a way you'll understsnd," Kaeya frowned, stopping just long enough
to take a deep breath. "I don't want you near me. I want to be alone."
"Have we done something wrong?" Zhongli asked, climbing the first couple of steps before
remembering Kaeya had specifically asked him to keep his distance. "Kaeya, we can't fix it
unless you talk to us. Is this about my lineage? Is this about-"
"This is about me wanting to be on my own after pushing your baby out of my fucking body.
Am I not allowed the courtesy of wanting some time to recover?" Kaeya snapped, glaring at
Zhongli over his shoulder.
The look in those beautiful amber eyes was almost enough to break his heart. But then again,
Kaeya's heart was already so thoroughly broken it was virtually ground to dust.
"You're right. I'm sorry," Zhongli said, climbing down the stairs again. "Rest well. I'll bring
you dinner later."
Kaeya didn't want dinner. He didn't want food or water or sustenance of any kind. He wanted
to sleep for a very, very long time and try his best not to think about, well, everything anything.
So he slept. He slept for hours, and when he woke up with Zhongli knocking on the door and
announcing that he'd brought dinner, Kaeya had turned around and forced himself to sleep
some more.
He couldn't remember leaving the room for a long time. Every now and then, Zhongli would
knock at his door, ask if the food wasn't to his liking and promise to bring something else.
Meanwhile Kaeya eyed the several suitcases and decided that he didn't want to take any of
them with him. All he needed was a couple of changes of clothes and maybe a blanket, and
he could backpack all the way back to Mondstadt.
The days blurred together. He wasn't sure if it had been a week, or just a couple of days since
he'd left the hospital, but at some point he'd started waking up with the baby crying from his
nursery, followed by Ajax's coos, or Zhongli's soft baritone singing him back to sleep.
Ajax had knocked on his door at some point, asking Kaeya if he was alive at all. Even though
Kaeya hadn't responded, Ajax must have sensed his presence inside, because he'd let out a
sigh and mumbled a frustrated "Fucking waste of my time," before his footsteps carried him
away from the door.
Kaeya closed his eyes, burrowed his nose into one of the hoodies Ajax had given him for his
nest, and fell asleep again.
He woke up hours later to the baby crying again. The moon was high in the sky and Kaeya
found himself carefully getting out of bed and walking towards the nursery before he could
even realise what he was doing. His bare feet stepped soundlessly on the hardwood floor, the
baby's desperate cries beckoning him like a sirensong.
Kaeya felt the dampness of the milk soaking through his shirt, the omega instinct demanding
that he go and feed his starving child. It was his duty as a mother, his duty as a good omega,
to keep his baby healthy and fed. His alphas would appreciate it, too. They liked it when he
was a good omega.
His hand curled around the doorknob.
"What are you doing?"
Kaeya froze, fingers lightly touching the brass of the doorknob as if he wasn't quite sure of
the answer himself.
"Baby's crying."
"I can hear that. That's not what I asked," Ajax's tone was so cold, Kaeya felt a shiver run
down his spine. "Get away from the door."
"But the baby-"
"Is not your problem anymore, remember?"
Kaeya pulled his hand back like the door had burned him. Whatever spell the crying babe had
put him under, Ajax's words had been cold enough to wake him up. Kaeya stumbled back, his
eyes wide as he met the alpha's.
He looked menacing, standing in the middle of the dark corridor like he was ready to pounce
on Kaeya and rip him apart. Like Kaeya was a threat to his newborn son.
"Not my baby," Kaeya breathed, his eyes welling up with tears again.
"Get. Away. From the door," the words were a growl, deep and possessive and threatening.
He wasn't Ajax in that moment. He was an alpha.
And Kaeya obeyed, quickly rushing past him and putting as much distance between himself
and the door as he possibly could. He really wasn't sure of how he'd found the energy to run
all the way back to the guest rooms, but truth was that one moment he was standing in front
of the nursery door, and the next he was urgently shoving some essentials into a backpack,
trying for the life of him to run as far away from this house and these people as he possibly
could.
Kaeya gagged in his own grief, his stomach thankfully too empty, or he was sure he'd throw
up whatever food he would have ingested by then.
His hands were shaking so violently he could hardly hold his clothes as he tried to shove
them into the backpack as well. He stumbled on his own feet, hit his elbow against the closet
door and paused when his hand subconsciously grabbed the floppy-eared bunny plushie.
Kaeya held it in his arms. It still smelled faintly of Zhongli and Ajax, and there was a very
gentle hint of orange blossoms in there, too. Kaeya hugged it close to his chest before
shoving it inside his bag.
The backpack was small, but it held enough essentials to last him for a couple of days. With a
lot of effort and a weight in his chest that only seemed to grow heavier the longer he stayed,
he forced his legs to steer him away from the guest rooms, from the nursery, from Ajax's and
Zhongli's room, from everything he loved and wanted. He forced himself to take the stairs
one by one, and open the front door.
Ajax's voice echoed in the house, soothing and gentle as he sang softly to his son, a lullaby
from his homeland that he had often sang to Kaeya's belly when the baby was most active.
Kaeya stopped and listened for a moment, picturing in his head the image of his love holding
his son and rocking him back to sleep.
Yes, they'd be all right without him. Kaeya wasn't needed here anymore.
Kaeya wasn't needed here, or anywhere. Ever.
The door clicked quietly behind him as he left the house and his dreams behind with it.
It wasn't raining outside. It wasn't even drizzling. Kaeya wasn't sure why, but he halfexpected the weather to match his mood. Instead, there was just a cold wind that seemed to
embed into his skin, into his bones, into his heart, and Kaeya embraced it, welcomed it. If
anything it felt strangely nice against his heated skin.
He adjusted the backpack on his shoulders and walked down the docks of Liyue Harbour,
unsure of where to go, now that he'd left the warm safety of the alphas' home.
Where he was journeying to was a mystery, but it was late April, and the flowers were
beginning to bloom. Maybe the scenic route would help him clear his mind and help him
forget the heart he'd left behind. Maybe seeing the world as it blossomed again would remind
him of how beautiful life could be at times.
But then his fingers would touch the void of his stomach, and he'd be reminded that he'd
already made true beauty happen, and like everything else in his life, it had been ripped from
his grasp.
Still, the night was quiet, and cool and Kaeya decided to let his feet guide him. Zhongli had
once told him that every journey had a final destination, and people would do well to don't
rush towards the finish line lest they miss the view. Wherever he'd end up at meant that he
was meant to be there. Whether that was Mondstadt or at the bottom of the ocean was a guess
for now.
The rain came as dawn flourished in the horizon. Kaeya was exhausted, his feet swollen and
blistering, his body sore and weak from days without food and the effort of giving birth
without proper recovery, and for some reason he was feeling too hot. The cold rain soaked
quickly through the thin layers of his shirt and he sat down on a rock, looking around to try to
discern his surroundings.
He had no idea where he was.
Kaeya wasn't sure for how long he'd been walking, but it had been long enough that he
couldn't even see the outlines of Liyue Harbour in the distance anymore. Which wasn't hard,
considering Liyue was a vast land of mountains and valleys that obscured the nearest town
after a ten minute walk outside of the city limits.
The point was, Kaeya was wet, and tired, and sore, and running a fever, and lonely and he
wanted to go home. Except he didn't have a home. So where exactly was he supposed to go,
now? He stood up, wavering on his feet as his vision blurred. Once he was sure he wasn't
going to keel over, Kaeya decided to seek shelter somewhere close. Now that the sun was
rising, he was sure to meet someone on the road at some point and maybe ask them for some
food and directions to the nearest Inn. Maybe even hitch a ride to the nearest town.
But to his dismay, people seemed to want to stay home when the weather was disagreeable.
He'd met no one for hours except for an elderly man who thought he wanted to sell him
shorts when he asked for a shortcut to the nearest town. The little man waved his hands,
looking terrified as he exclaimed with a shaky voice, "I don't wear shorts. No shorts needed.
Walk along young man. I don't want your shorts."
To say that Kaeya wanted to cry and scream was an understatement, but he didn't even have
the energy to breathe at that point, let alone throw a tantrum. There was no path but forward,
so he kept walking. He couldn't stop. Everything hurt so much that he was certain he
wouldn't be able to move again if he stopped.
An old car drove by, music blasting from the speakers like a beacon, and Kaeya tried
hitchhiking, but the rude man inside gave him the middle finger and kept driving away,
splattering him with mud as he drove past him. Now he was cold and wet and dirtyand so
hungry, and this close to just giving up and sitting down on the roadside until he either died
of starvation or was run over by a car. Whichever came first.
"Young man?"
Kaeya looked up at the voice. An old lady with kind eyes and a red umbrella walked towards
him, a gentle smile on her wrinkled face.
"Grandma," he greeted, his head bowing respectfully.
She looked at him, shifting the bags from one of her hands to the other. Her fingers were
tanned, worn after years of hard work, and Kaeya could just guess how good the food made
by those hands would be. "What's a pretty young man like you doing outside in a weather
like this?"
His knees shook with the effort of keeping himself standing. "I'm looking for a ride home,
ma'am," Kaeya politely said, his hands hugging himself and trying to rub some warmth into
his bones. "I'm afraid I got lost though."
"And where is home?" The old lady smiled, her calloused hands gently patting his forearms,
before gently cradling his cheek. "Maybe I can point you in the right direction. It's cold today.
If you stay outside for much longer you'll catch your death."
Kaeya was stumped. He wasn't sure what to tell her, so he just shrugged, helplessly. "I
actually don't really know myself," he said, looking up as the light rain stopped for a moment.
"Mondstadt, I guess?"
The old lady looked at him long and hard, her head tilting to the side like she was assessing
him, her gaze was ancient, like she'd been there since the Archons roamed Teyvat, like she
knew everything in the history of forever, past, present and future.
"If you follow this road for another hour or so, you'll find Guili Station. There's a train that
leaves to Mondstadt every six hours, thrice a day," she informed him after a while. Then, she
took his hand and placed a parcel on his palm before gently squeezing his fingers. "Feed
yourself, child. You're running hot. You'll need the energy."
Kaeya looked down at the cloth bundle in his hand and opened it carefully. The scent of roast
meat and spice swirled into his nostrils and warmed him up from the inside. He could feel his
mouth watering up, his stomach cramping after days of fast.
Hunger took over, and he leaned down to take a big bite, then another, then another. He was
hardly chewing his food, swallowing whole chunks before the old lady regretted her decision
and took away his morsel. Soon, the delicious sandwich was all gone, and Kaeya found
himself licking the droplets of Jueyun chili sauce from his fingers.
He was feeling a little better now that his stomach wasn't so empty, and when he looked up to
thank the old lady, she was already gone. No sight of her or her umbrella or her little wooden
sandals anywhere.
"Grandma?" he called looking around himself, but she was well and truly gone. He thought
about searching for her to properly thank her, but he was afraid he'd lose track of the way to
the station. So he thanked her silently in his heart, for her kindness, for her generosity, and
continued his journey down the path she'd indicated.
Kaeya was tired of walking. His body was holding on by a thread, the pain and discomfort
reaching nearly unbearable levels. But just as he was about to give up, to leave his fate in the
hands of the Archons he didn't believe in and the elements that surrounded him, he spotted
the distant structure of what he assumed to be Guili Station. Kaeya's eyes widened and he let
out a sob of relief.
Liyue Harbour was such an advanced city with such a high density of population that it was
easy to forget that Liyue as a Nation consisted mostly of mountainous land, sparcely
inhabited by small villages that gathered in clusters near the largest sources of water. He felt
like he'd been treading in the middle of nowhere for far too long.
Kaeya willed his feet to work faster, and soon he was almost running towards the station,
stumbling over his own feet, his sore legs aching with every step forward. He felt like his
luck was turning around at last, but just as he arrived at the station he remembered that a train
ticket would cost him money. Money he wasn't sure he had. Kaeya searched his pockets for
Mora, and found enough coins to maybe, luckily, buy himself a warm tea if he felt too cold
later on, but it was nowhere near enough to buy a ticket to Mondstadt. He hardly had money
for food.
"Of course." he sighed, looking up at the skies, like their overcast blanket could give him any
comfort. "Wouldn't it be easier to just strike me dead? If you insist in making my life absolute
misery, just strike me dead now, before I do it myself. Why keep me alive at all at this point?
Please just end this. Please." Kaeya pushed his hair away from his face, his fingers trembling,
so cold he could hardly feel them. He wanted to scream, but his voice was far too frail, far
too broken.
Kaeya leaned against the closest wall and sunk down onto the floor. The station tiles looked
filthy, and the walls were yellowed with dog piss and who knew what else, but what was the
point in giving a fuck anymore? If he didn't die of infection he'd die of something else
eventually. Hopefully soon.
He pulled his knees up to his chest and huddled close to a pillar, trying to keep himself
relatively safe from the cool late-afternoon wind. He felt so cold whe couldn't stop shivering,
his teeth clacking together, and his eyelids felt impossibly heavy after the long journey.
Kaeya shuddered when he heard distant thunder, and watched miserably as a train stopped at
the platform to accept new passengers in, and then left without him.
He wished he was still back at the penthouse, cuddling with Zhongli and Ajax and their baby
in his nest, soaking up the warmth of their touch, and laughing at their jovial banter. But his
place was no longer by their side. His place was nowhere, really. In a way it was fitting for
someone like him to be stranded at such a filthy place.
Yeah. This felt more like the home he deserved.
"Bye, love you."
Kaeya looked up in time to see a young man lowering the receiver of a payphone, before
strutting away. For some unfathomable reason, he'd missed the presence of the man entirely
before, but those words had brought his attention right back to him. It wasn't exactly what the
man was saying that he focused on. No.
There was a payphone.
Struggling to get to his feet, he fished out the few coins he'd found earlier and with shaky
hands he inserted them into the coin slot. Then with a lot of effort, he tried to press the
buttons to a number he hadn't dialled in years. He had to be careful, because his fingers felt
so frozen he could accidentally diall the wrong number. He was using all his coins for this
one call.
He only had one shot.
His hands shook.
His fingers numb.
He held the receiver to his ear and closed his eyes.
"Pick up. Please."
The ringing tone seemed to go on forever, until finally, just as Kaeya was going to give up
and set the receiver down-
"Diluc speaking."
The fragile embers of hope dared to flicker to life in his chest once more.
"It's me."
A pause, long and thick and suffocating. Then Diluc's voice again, softer, like he wasn't
certain the call wasn't a prank.
"Kaeya?"
"Hi..."
"Thank Barbatos. Kaeya, are you all right?"
That was a loaded question if he'd ever heard one. "I'm fine," Kaeya lied, brushing his damp
hair away from his face. His fever seemed to be getting worse.
"Are you sure? You don't sound-"
"I'll do it. I'll do whatever you want," Kaeya said, wiping the first traces of tears from his
eyes. His voice shook as much as his hands, and he was choking in his words. "I'll come
home and marry Lord Kamisato. I'll honour father's last wish. I'll do it."
"... Really?" Diluc asked, though his tone didn't show excitement in the least. Kaeya couldn't
blame him. He'd refused so vehemently in the past, he supposed Diluc would need more than
a half-broken promise through the phone. "Is that what you want?"
"What I want never mattered before. Not to mother, not to father, not to you, not to anyone.
Not even myself," Kaeya scoffed, and then before Diluc could protest, "Please. I just want to
come home. Please, Diluc. Please. I want to come home. I'll do anything. Please."
"Oh, Kaeya," Diluc heaved out a sigh. He sounded so pained. "I'll tell Adelinde to prepare
your room. Where are you right now?"
"Guili Station in Liyue. I'm- I don't have enough Mora to buy my return ticket," Kaeya
confessed, leaning heavily against the phone. Everything was beginning to blur together.
"Liyue?! What in Barbatos' left nut are you doing in- I'll come pick you up, okay? Stay where
you are, Kae. I'll come to you."
"Thank you, Diluc. Thank you," he sobbed, his voice cracking with relief. "Please hurry."
Chapter End Notes
I sowwy. Have a Diluc.
🥺
Freya
Chapter Notes
Content Warning: This chapter contains references to postpartum depression, sickness,
infidelity and some dark thoughts that come with Kaeya's state of mind.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Voices, muffled by the wooden door.
"How bad is it?"
"He should be taken to a hospital-"
"Absolutely not. My father died because he, too, should have been taken to a hospital, and
look what that did for him. I'm not allowing them to kill my brother, too."
"Master Diluc, please be reasonable. The young master might need surgery or intensive
treatment. The hospital would be the safest place for him."
"My word is final. We can bring the hospital here if he needs it, but he will not leave home
until I know he's not going to die on me, too."
A sigh.
"Very well. He's currently sable. His uterine infection seems to be slowly healing but I won't
be certain about the repercussions until I test him further."
"What about his appetite? Is there a way to get him to eat?"
"I'm going to be honest with you, Master Diluc. If he keeps refusing food, I see no other
option but to admit him to a proper mental facility where he can get the professional care that
he needs. I'm afraid that if things keep going the way they are now, he won't make it much
longer."
Silence. Long and stretched thin. And then,
"Thank you doctor."
Kaeya heard his bedroom door open and close again. Footsteps, slow, soft and deliberate as
Diluc walked around Kaeya's bed and took a seat on the chair next to it. He looked pale,
haggard, but his eyes were bright with determination.
"We still haven't found the baby or the father," Diluc sighed, glancing at Kaeya and reaching
out to hold his brother's hand. "It would be easier if you told us who it is."
Kaeya let Diluc hold him just because he had no energy to pull away. He didn't want him to
find the baby. If anything, he wanted to forget about everything. He wanted the vast kiss of
the void to wrap around him and lull him into a deep, deep slumber.
"Linde bought your favourite chicken skewers from Good Hunter today. I'll bring them up to
you later, if you feel like eating something." Diluc swallowed thickly. "It would make me
really happy if you ate at least a little bit."
His eyelids felt heavy, so he closed them and allowed Diluc's soothing voice to wash over
him and as he rambled about some thing or another. He'd always loved his brother's voice. It
was the closest thing to comfort he could feel in that moment.
"Kae," Diluc whispered, his fingers ever so gently brushing along the tresses of his hair.
"Baby brother. Please hold on. I can't lose you, too."
×
There was a knock on the door, two, three, and the soft creek of old hinges grinding together
as the door opened.
Yellow light flooded into the room from the corridor, and the quiet sound of heels on a
carpeted floor grew closer to the bed where Kaeya lay, unmoving.
"Young master Kaeya, I have brought you dinner," Adelinde said, her tone quiet as she placed
the tray with the bowl of soup on top of Kaeya's bedside table. "I thought it better to keep it
simple for your stomach, so I made you raddish broth, so it won't upset your stomach. Please
eat. You need sustenance so your fever can finally go down."
Kaeya hardly blinked as he stared blankly at the bookshelf on the other side of the room, his
gaze intent, but unseeing. There was a deep numbness that had taken over him ever since he
returned to the estate where he'd grown up, as though his soul had vacated his body.
Where once he'd been moved by the need to survive, now that he knew he was safe, it was
like he could finally let go. He had no energy to get out ofl bed, food turned to ash in his
mouth, and if not for Adelinde's gentle care, he wouldn't even find the will to drink some
water or use the restroom.
Kaeya felt hollow.
Once, he had hoped for a future, thought his dream lay in the music that moved his body as
though it were a puppetmaster, about the heat of the practice room, the scent of sweat that
clung to the walls as he turned music to visual art with his body and his dancing. Now, he
dreamt of a vast, endless nothingness, grey and dull and empty. The omega in him mourned
the loss of his child, the loss of the alphas he had come to subconsciously think of as his
mates.
"Kaeya," Adelinde called again. Her cool, delicate fingers brushed his oily unwashed hair
away from his face, before caressing his cheek. "Please try to eat at least a spoonful."
Kaeya shuddered lightly under her touch and his eyes fluttered closed. He didn't want food.
He didn't want sustenance. What was he trying to keep alive for? Who was he trying to be
strong for?
"Oh, Starlight," Adelinde cooed, her thumbs brushing away the silent tears that somehow still
found their way down his cheeks. "My sweet boy. What has happened to you? What can I do
to make it better?"
I want my baby, Kaeya wanted to say, I want my mates, I want my little family.
But all that left the trembling barrier of his lips was a broken sob, a small little choking sound
that relieved none of his pain. Adelinde let him cry on her lap for who knows how long. Then
she stood up and left, closing the door behind her.
Kaeya thought he was well acquainted with loneliness, but whatever emptiness he was
feeling was something else. Something deeper. Something far, far more cruel.
The bowl of warm broth remained untouched on his bedside table until long after it had
cooled.
×
"We'll hire the best lawyers in Mondstadt if we have to," Diluc was saying some time later. A
few hours. A few days. He didn't know for sure. "We will get custody of the baby and
squeeze them for every cent they have. If only you'd tell me who the father is."
Kaeya blinked up at his brother, slow and unfocused. He looked older. Obviously, he was
older. Last time he'd seen Diluc he'd been around nineteen or twenty. Now, at almost twentysix, he had really become a man. Gone was the softness of his cheeks and the youthfulness of
his smile. Now he looked so much like his father, it was almost uncanny.
"I can't sit idly while you waste away on that bed. You don't eat, you barely sleep, Adelinde
has to force you to drink water to keep you alive!" Diluc sighed, sitting on the mattress next
to him. "Tell me who did this to you? Who knocked you up? Who kicked you out only days
after you gave birth? Who stole your baby from you? I'll drive them to ruin. I will destroy
them so thoroughly they'll wish for their death. Who did this to you?"
Me, Kaeya didn't say. He did this to himself. He agreed to something he wasn't ready to give
up. He gave them the family they longed for so much, and when he wasn't needed anymore,
he lost the family he'd come to love.
He wasn't needed at all. How dispensable was Kaeya, really?
"Shit. Sorry. Kae, please don't cry," Diluc awkwardly held Kaeya's hand and tucked the
blanket closer to him. "It drives me out myself with anger to know I can't do anything. You
could have died! Your fever was so high when I picked you up you were almost delirious! I
could have- I could have lost you. Barbatos have mercy, I could have lost my little brother."
It was the most open Diluc had been since they had reunited. Man or not, those were the
same tears he'd seen in his eyes when their father had passed away. That was the same agony
he'd seen contorting his handsome features on the day of his funeral - and part of the reason
why Kaeya hadn't attended to the ceremony. Kaeya's heart ached. He loved Diluc. He didn't
want to see him sad.
"Hug," he croaked, his slender fingers trembling as he summoned what remnants of energy
he still had in himself to gently touch Diluc's wrist. "Please."
It seemed that he didn't need to be told twice. Their position was awkward at first but if
something remained from their childhood was how well they fit together. Though they've
both grown up, Diluc was still taller, still broader, and he easily maneuvered Kaeya on the
bed until he was sitting on his lap. He looped his arms around Kaeya's emaciated body and
held him close to his chest, tucking Kaeya's head over his heart like he had done so many
times when they were little, when Kaeya had been plagued by the nightmares of his father's
gruesome death, by the pain of his mother's passing.
It was like he was six years old all over again, curled up in his big brother's arms and feeling
loved and safe for the first time since his mother said her last goodbyes to him. It was like a
small, flicker of a flame was slowly struggling to keep burning deep in his chest, fighting
hard to chase the bone-deep loneliness away.
"I'm here," Diluc promised, sounding far more confident than Kaeya would have judged. "I
know I messed up after father died, but I'm here now. I'll keep you safe, Kae. So please,
please don't waste away. I need you. I need my little brother. Who else is going to pester me
if you're gone?"
"Linde," Kaeya breathed, his brother's scent was soothing, and soon his shaking hands
steadied. He smelled of burning wood, of the comfort of a fireplace in a cold winter night. He
smelled of family, of safety. It was everything Kaeya needed in that moment. An anchor to
keep him from floating away too far from salvation.
"Adelinde would personally wring my neck if I let anything happen to you. Have you
forgotten how terrifying she can be?" Diluc snorted, seemingly unbothered by the gross state
of Kaeya's hair as he brushed his fingers through the long strands.
"Linde warm," Kaeya murmured, closing his eyes.
"Hm, you were always Linde's favourite," Diluc sighed, his eyes shifting down to watch
Kaeya. "She was your mother's apprentice, so it's understandable. Honestly, I think she was a
little infatuated with Miss Freya," Diluc snorted, shaking his head as his fingers slowly
carded through Kaeya's hair. "Can't blame her. Your mother was, from what I remember, very
beautiful."
Silence fell in the room for a long while, and as Diluc's heartbeat lulled him to sleep, he
called, "Luc?"
"Yeah?"
"Stay?"
"Mn, fine. But you're taking a bath as soon as you wake up," Diluc shifted them on the bed
until he found a comfortable enough position. "Stinky."
Kaeya smiled, his eyelids too heavy to keep open. "Thank you."
×
"We found the key."
Kaeya looked up from his salad. He'd been pushing the cherry tomatoes around as he slowly
ate the soft mozzarella and the crispy arugula. It was nice, to finally eat again, to finally find
the energy to pick up a fork and feel somewhat alive after weeks of stupor.
As he swallowed his mouthful he tilted his head to the side. A question he didn't have the
voice to ask yet. Luckily, Diluc had grown used to his non-verbal spells and spared him the
struggle to try to articulate into words what he often didn't have the energy to say with his
voice.
"Remember the ornate wooden box I found after father's death? The one in his safe," Diluc
waited for Kaeya to nod to continue. "We found the key."
"Where?" Kaeya asked, his voice rough with disuse, but curiosity urging him to pry more
information out of his brother.
"The day I came to pick you up from Liyue, I asked Linde to prepare your room. She found it
in your old memory box. It was in a necklace, I reckon," Diluc set his cutlery down, a
mischievous grin gracing his lips. He looked so much like the boy he'd grown up with, it
caused something lovely and warm to curl in his chest, like a kitten lying in the sunlight. "I
was waiting for you to be feeling better so we could open it together. Would you like that?"
Kaeya nodded so vehemently he nearly gave himself whiplash.
"After breakfast, then."
Smiling, Kaeya felt his appetite suddenly come back. He virtually inhaled his food,
shovelling it into his mouth with newfound urgency, slowing down only when Adelinde
cautioned that if he kept eating so fast he'd feel sick and throw everything up eventually. She
did so while sneaking a couple of sausages into his plate.
With a pout, Kaeya forced himself to slow down and savour the food instead. Once he was
finally finished (sausages and all, much to Adelinde's poorly concealed delight), he went
back to his room so he could grab his floppy bunny while Diluc fetched the box and key from
his office where he had been keeping them safe.
They decided to sit outside by the Fragrant Cedar trees. The weather was nice and warm, and
the breeze was cool and welcoming. Kaeya needed to breathe in fresh air after being confined
to his room for so long, so he leaned on Diluc as they walked outside and settled down by the
roots of a tree near the vineyard. The scent of grapes was both novel and a throwback. Kaeya
sucked in a deep breath, welcoming the nostalgia that flooded his memories a she basked in
the sunlight.
"Do you want to open it?" asked Diluc as he handed the box over to Kayea.
"Mh," Kaeya smiled, setting the bunny down on his lap before taking the small key in his
hands and carefully fitting it into the lock.
It took him a moment - the lock was old and it needed to be oiled - but with gentle prying it
clicked open and at last the brothers were able to access the contents of the box.
Inside were countless envelopes, some written in elegant handwriting that Kaeya
immediately recognised as Crepus', some written in a round, delicate script that reminded
Kaeya of his own handwriting. He touched the letters on one of the envelopes.
'My beloved Crepus,' it read. Kaeya's brows furrowed a little as he turned the envelope
around and pulled out the thin paper from inside. It took him a moment to notice that the
pages were scented with a faint hint of perfume. A sweet, flowery scent that was
breathtakingly familiar, but he couldn't quite pinpoint where he'd smelled it before.
"Who even writes letters nowadays?" Diluc was saying, eyes sparkling with curiosity as he
dug into the box and pulled out one of the letters written by his father. He read a few
sentences to himself and snorted with amusement. "The writing is so old-fashioned. It's like
I'm watching a period drama in literary form. What a treat."
"Romantic," Kaeya murmured, his voice a dreamy sigh, only loud enough to reach his
brother, who bumped him lightly on the shoulder.
"Sap. Listen to this," Diluc cleared his throat. "'My lovely Cecilia, may this letter find you
well. I wish to thank you for sharing the beauty of the nightsky with me last night. It meant
the world to me to be able to freely enjoy your company without the presence of prying eyes.'
This is disgusting."
Kaeya chuckled, poking Diluc's side hard with his bony finger. When he tried to read the
letter himself, Diluc bumped him back and cleared his throat again. When he began reading
once more, it was like he was putting on a theatre performance, his accent shifted to
something grand and snobbish, not unlike Crepus' when he received important guests from
afar.
"To be able to love you so freely- If only we could make it a reality. It kills me to have to hide
how much I burn and long for you - whenever I want to touch you, to speak to you. If only I
wasn't Crepus Ragnvindr, and you not a married woman, I would be free to make you my
lady, to love and to cherish you for all to see-' Dad fell in love with a married woman?"
"Scandalous," Kaeya smiled leaning his head on Diluc's shoulder.
"I knew he never truly loved my mother. They had been arranged to be married when they
were teens. But after she died shortly after giving birth to me, he never really tried to look for
another wife, so I just assumed he hadn't met anyone," Diluc folded the letter and replaced it
into its envelope. Then he pulled out another letter and glanced briefly at it before furiously
blushing and shoving it back into its envelope. “Nope. Not reading that. Fucking hell I didn't
need to know any of that about my father. Barbatos help me. How do I unsee this? Will
bleach do?”
Kaeya was giggling, and finally he handed the letter he'd taken out earlier for Diluc to read.
Diluc opened it and carefully read it over, seemingly afraid of what outrageous words he'd
potentially find there. Instead his expression shifted from careful to serious to shocked.
“Luc?”
Diluc looked at Kaeya, his eyes wide and somewhat afraid. “Kae... I-”
Kaeya straightened up and snatched the letter from Diluc's hands.
'My love,
I am sorry if this letter sounds a little out of sorts, but I seem to be unable to stop shaking.
Crepus, I found out today that I'm carrying your child, and I'm positively terrified. My
husband will know this child is not his. His seed is as barren as the deserts of Natlan. My
only consolation is that he does not know the identity of my lover, and therefore he cannot
harm you, too. Don't worry, I will keep our little one safe.
I beg you to keep this secret close to your chest. If anything ever happens to me, our baby
will need their father to take care of them.
I promise they will always know that their father was, is, and will forever be the love of my
life.
Eternally yours. To the stars and back. Freya.'
"Kae?"
Kaeya's heart was drumming so loud in his ears, he could hardly hear Diluc. His hands shook
so much the thin paper fluttered uncontrollably in his grasp. Kaeya wasn't sure what to think,
how to feel.
"I am Crepus Ragnvindr's bastard son."
"Not a bastard. Illegitimate, maybe. But never a bastard." Diluc firmly said, his voice too
loud in the quiet afternoon. "Father loved you, and he would have loved you even if you
weren't his blood."
"I feel sick."
"Oh, Kaeya," Diluc sighed, wrapping his arms around his brother.
"Why?"
Why did they lie? Why weren't they honest with Kaeya and Diluc? Why did Crepus allow his
mother to remain with her abusive husband if he knew she was terrified for her life as well as
their son's? Why? Why? Why?
Diluc frowned, his hands holding Kaeya's. "I don't know."
All his life he thought his father was a monster, that he shared the same dirty blood that had
ran through his veins. He believed he'd murdered his own father, that he'd taken his mother's
love away from her and that's why her health had declined so quickly after her bonded mate
had passed away.
And the bastard hadn't even been related to him by blood. He had known Kaeya wasn't his.
Was that why he'd always been so violent towards him? Because he resented Kaeya? Because
for some reason Kaeya was the one to blame for his mother's indiscretions?
The food in Kaeya's belly proved to be too much to hold in the face of the new revelations,
and he doubled over, emptying his stomach on top of a small cluster of Lampgrass flowers.
His entire body shuddered with the force of his heaving, and he curled his fingers into the
grass, pulling it out as he tried to keep himself up.
Diluc was by his side in a second, steadily rubbing his hand along Kaeya's back, brushing his
hair away from his face and steadying him once the retching was done. Kaeya slumped
against Diluc's side, feeling incredibly exhausted.
"Better?" Diluc asked, lips pressing to Kaeya's temple.
"Don't know," Kaeya sighed, his eyes fluttering closed. He felt so off kilter, so tired and
drained. "I don't think I can do this anymore, Luc. Everytime I think things can't possibly get
any worse..."
"Is being my baby brother really that bad?" Diluc asked with a small smile.
Kaeya knew he was trying to tease him, to lighten the mood after such a massive blow. But
Kaeya couldn't find it in himself to find the humour in the situation. That Kaeya was gone.
Broken along with his heart after he had forced himself to leave behind... everything he
loved. Again.
"Kae, I have been meaning to talk to you about this. Maybe..." Diluc hesitated, gently
brushing Kaeya's hair away from his face. He pulled out a handkerchief from the breast
pocket of his button-up shirt and gently wiped Kaeya's lips clean.
"Maybe?" Kaeya prompted, hugging the bunny to his chest for comfort.
"Maybe it's time you see a therapist. Someone to help you understand and deal with all
these... These big events that have happened in the past few months," Diluc sighed, squeezing
his brother's hand. "Big feelings need proper support, and I am far too emotionally
constipated to give you the help you need. Fuck, maybe I should go to therapy, too. Make it a
new family tradition or something. Therapy Thursdays."
"Catchy," Kaeya deadpanned, fighting the urge to joke about the alternative tradition of
Suicide Sundays - somehow he suspected that wouldn't be well received by his brother.
"What I mean is... You need help. The kind of help I can't give you myself," Diluc concluded,
meeting Kaeya's eyes.
Kaeya wanted to refuse. He was fine, he was going to be fine. He didn't need a stranger to tell
him he was feeling things. He'd always dealt with his big feelings on his own and he turned
out just fine.
Except he didn't, did he? He didn't turn out fine. He turned out a mess. He'd almost dropped
into a very dark place in the weeks following the birth of the baby and his return to
Mondstadt. Even now, two months later, he still struggled to find the energy to get out of bed,
to get dressed, to be active in any way. So no. He wasn't fine. He was very much not at all
fine.
"Will you come with me?" Kaeya quietly asked, tucking his head under Diluc's chin like he
had so often done when they were tinier, happier, less burdened by the happenings of life.
"Do you want me there?" Diluc asked, holding his baby brother close, his hand running up
and down Kaeya's back, a comforting gesture that helped Kaeya feel a little less adrift.
"Yeah. Please. Please, I want you... I want you there with me. I'm- I don't want to go alone.
I'm tired of being alone." he said against his brother's collar, his lower lip trembling.
"Then I'll come with you. I'll be there. Every step of the way."
For a moment, they sat in silence, getting reacquainted with each other's presence. Then
Diluc let out a small sigh and picked up one of the letters again. For the rest of the afternoon,
Kaeya lay with his head on Diluc's chest, while his big brother read their parents' love story
aloud, skipping the raunchy details, but taking careful time with everything else.
It was sundown by the time Elzer came to fetch them for dinner.
Chapter End Notes
I've been exhausted, so I apologise if I sound less energetic in my replies. Know that I
read, love and appreciate every single one of them. Thank you ♥
Gossip Dealer
Chapter Notes
Content Warning: This chapter features descriptions of a panic attack. Please stay safe if
that makes you uncomfortable.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
"Okay," Kaeya said, heaving a deep breath. "You can do this. I can do this. I'm going to do
this."
He dialled the number on his phone and as soon as the first dial tone rang he ended the call.
"I cannot do this, therefore, I shan't."
Diluc's eyebrow arched quizzically at him as he walked by his room. "What on earth are you
doing?"
With a little jump, Kaeya spun around to face his brother. "Homework."
"Kae, I know you act like a kid sometimes, but you're not actually a kid. You've left school
years ago," Diluc patiently pointed out. Like Kaeya was slowly losing his mind.
To be fair, he felt like he was.
"It's for... It's..." he breathed in deeply and brushed his hair away from his face. "It's for
therapy. Miss Lisa... I have to... I..."
Understanding seemed to clear in Diluc's eyes and he hesitated before turning to his brother.
"D-do you, uh... Do you want me to be here with you while you do your... Homework?
Thing?"
"No. This is something I must do on my own," Kaeya cleared his throat and balanced on his
feet a little. "Thank you, though."
"Right. Right, okay. I'll, er, be in my office if you need me," Diluc offered him a small smile
and left.
Kaeya felt exhausted. He flopped down on his bed, eyes closing as he absently twirled his
phone in his hand. He needed to do this. He needed closure. He needed to let go and try to
move on. But he was unable to do so until he made this phone call.
How ridiculous. He'd done plenty of phone calls in the past. Kaeya was an adult man. He
scheduled his own appointments. He ordered his own pizza. He could do this.
"I can't do this, Mona. I need an astrology bitch to tell me if I'm going to spontaneously
combust if I make this call and it connects," he said into the speaker five minutes later. "You
happen to be the only one I know, so read my bones or whatever it is you do. Tea leaves?
Crystal ball?"
"Let me get this straight," Mona hissed through the receiver. "You forced me to stop grinding
on my girlfriend's thick ass thigh because you're too much of a pussy to make a call? Also I
do not read bones. I do Hydromancy, you gremlin."
"I think I'm going to throw up," Kaeya gagged.
"Just call them, Kaeya. Apologise. Or don't, I really, genuinely do not care. I couldn't
possibly care any less, in fact. But if you need to do this to move on then do it. Like a plaster,
just rip it off," Mona sighed. Kaeya could almost see her pinching the bridge of her nose.
"Listen, if you do it I'll treat you to dinner."
"Can you even afford that?" Kaeya deflected, curling the string of his joggers around his
finger until it turned purple, then white.
"I can if I'm going to be serving you my foot so far up your ass, you'll be tasting my toes for
weeks. Now fuck off. I'm trying to get laid," Mona hissed. And then, in a softer tone, "Let me
know how it goes, though. I'm invested in this soap opera, and I need gossip like an addict
needs drugs. Feed my addiction Kaeya. I'm counting on you."
"That's a weird way of saying that you do, in fact, care a whole lot. I don't particularly enjoy
the idea of being your gossip dealer, you know? The pay is really not worth it," Kaeya
groaned. "Fine, go get laid. Don't think of me too much."
"I'll do my best, honey. Bye!"
Kaeya's hand fell onto the mattress, his phone loosely held in his fingers. He stared at the
ceiling of his childhood bedroom and wondered when was the last time they'd painted the
room at all. He could still see the splash of chocolate milk in the corner by the closet, where
he'd accidentally sprayed it everywhere one night after he mistook a branch knocking on his
window for a skeletal hand. He'd frightened himself so bad he couldn't sleep alone for days
after.
All because Diluc had recently found out about Horror films, and Kaeya, desperate for his
brother's approval, insisted that he would watch a couple of films with him. He was a big boy,
he could handle it. He could do it.
Spoilers, he couldn't. Much like now, he had been a coward, but he'd pushed through. Years
later Diluc had confessed that he hated horror films. They scared him shitless, he said. The
only reason why he watched them with Kaeya was because he wanted to look cool and
badass for his little brother. They'd had a good laugh about that before their lives were
upended by their father's death.
Throughout his life, Kaeya had survived an abusive father, he survived his mother's death, he
survived his father's death - twice. He survived living in the streets, living in a flat that was
not safe for cockroaches, let alone humans. He had survived an awful relationship with an
awful man, short though it had been and really not worth the energy it took to remember the
details. He survived pregnancy and childbirth.
And he was going to survive this phone call, too.
So again, he sat up, curling up by the headboard of his bed so he could at least feel a little
anchored, and he dialled the number again.
His heart seemed to have permanently migrated to his throat as it rang a few times, each tone
stretching for aeons before the next came along. Just as Kaeya was about to give up and end
the call, someone finally picked up.
"Hello?" Ajax greeted, his voice hoarse, showing just how tired he must've been feeling.
"Who is this?"
Kaeya sighed, his eyes closed. In the background he could hear the wails of distress of histheir baby.
Kaeya had dealt with infants before. Shortly after Klee had been born, her mother had
suddenly felt the urge to travel Teyvat in search of herself, ultimately leaving the infant girl to
the gentle care of her big brother. Back then, Kaeya and Albedo had been close, and seeing
his best friend struggle had tugged at Kaeya's heartstrings. He'd done everything he could to
help him and Sucrose during the first few months of Klee's life.
So now, listening to his son - no, he had to stop thinking like that - listening to Zhongli's and
Ajax's son crying like that, he knew just by the sound of it that the couple was currently
dealing with a colicky baby. His heart ached to hold him close and sing him to sleep, to try to
take his pain away. The fact that he couldn't do any of that caused the gaping hole in his chest
to grow even further.
He only realised he'd been deadly quiet when he heard Zhongli's baritone asking in the
background, "Ajax, love? Is something the matter? Who is it?"
"I don't fucking know, Zhongli," Ajax snapped before demanding again, "Who is this?"
Being addressed directly caused Kaeya to sit up at attention, his back straightening up before
a pitiful whimper fled the harbour of his lips.
"I'm sorry," Kaeya said, his heart breaking all over again. It hurt so much. His chest ached
with longing, missing the people he still loved so fiercely. He opened his mouth to speak, his
lips forming around the words but his voice so strained it could barely be heard. "I shouldn't
have- Sorry. Wrong number."
There was a gasp on the other side, and then, urgently, "No! No, please wait! Ka—"
He quickly tried to press the end call button, but his fingers quivering so much he missed the
button twice before the call finally ended. His heart was slamming against his ribs, drumming
loudly in his ears, his stomach clenching painfully, so much so he felt nauseated. He couldn't
breathe, his head felt too light, his body too heavy, and he tried to hide his face in the safe
cocoon of his arms over his knees. It took him a while to realise that he was having a panic
attack.
He shouldn't have called. Moon almighty he should not have called. What was he thinking?
"Master Kaeya?"
The voice sounded too far and too close at the same time, and Kaeya couldn't quite focus on
it, but he could also not think about anything else. It was overwhelming and he still. couldn't.
breathe.
"What's wrong?"
"Master Diluc, the young master isn't well-"
"Bring up some ginger tea for him, if you please. I'll take it from here."
The touch of Diluc's warm hands on his shoulders was gentle, but firm. Kaeya nearly shook
them off, but then, like a lighthouse in a storm, he felt Diluc's firewood scent wafting around
him, curling around his wrists, his neck, down his spine, clinging to his clothes, to his hair, to
his skin. It took him a long time to understand that Diluc was scenting him, trying to bring
him back from the terrifying precipice his mental health had thrown him into.
Slow, slower still, he started to regain a sense of security. His breathing was still a little too
shallow, a little too urgent, but as he looked up and met Diluc's eyes, he knew he would be
safe.
"Are you with me?" Diluc asked, his hands rubbing heat into Kaeya's arms. He hadn't noticed
how cold he felt until that moment.
"Ah," Kaeya gasped, blinking a couple of times to focus on his brother. "I think so."
"What happened?" Diluc asked, glaring at Kaeya's phone. "Did they say something they
shouldn't? I'll kill them."
"I panicked," Kaeya said, dumbly.
"You don't say," clicking his tongue, Diluc let out the tiniest sigh. "Elzer is bringing tea up
momentarily. Do you want me to stay or would you prefer to be alone for a moment?"
At the suggestion of being alone, Kaeya's eyes widened fear curling its long, cold fingers
around his throat again.
"Stay. Please," Kaeya breathed, choking in his own urgency. "Stay."
Diluc easily nodded, and took a seat next to Kaeya on the bed. He wrapped his arm around
his baby brother's waist and coaxed his head to lay on his shoulder.
"What do you think happened?"
"Baby was crying. Colicky. Then Aj- then I heard their voices again. And I..." Kaeya's hands
relaxed, impossibly defeated. He turned his palms upwards, as though hoping the skies would
conveniently drop the answers to all his problems on them by sheer force of willpower.
"Okay. You don't have to talk about it right now, if you're not comfortable. You should take a
quick nap, though. I know how exhausted you feel after your panic attacks," Diluc suggested.
Elzer walked in with a silver tray and two mugs of hot ginger tea. Kaeya's stomach twitched
at the thought of ingesting anything at all, but he knew it would make him feel better, so he
held the cup in both hands and took small, slow sips from his cup and eventually even his
stomach was feeling a little better - not much, but at least he didn't feel like he was going
throw up in his brother's lap anymore.
"I'm sorry for always wasting your time. You have so much work to do," Kaeya apologised,
eyes closing briefly.
"Work can wait," Diluc grumbled, pulling Kaeya closer to him.
"I can wait, too," Kaeya pointed out, a small smile on his lips.
"No. I've made you wait for almost six years. It's time I be a good big brother. It's not like
we'll lose our fortune if I stay with you for a couple of hours," Diluc snorted, his voice
sounded a bit funny from within the cup he was drinking from. "Even if we did lose
everything, we're clever boys. I bet we could find a way to get by."
Kaeya nodded, his eyes closing.
He tried to imagine Diluc 'getting by' the way Kaeya had after The Great Argument, and he
genuinely couldn't. His brother was always prim and proper, an example of conduct,
respected by the people of Mondstadt as one of the old noble bloodlines of their Nation. He
wasn't built to find scraps from the bottom of a dirty bin, or sleep in park benches. The
thought was a little hilarious.
But Kaeya was far too tired to voice his amusement. Instead, he pressed his nose to Diluc's
chest, and allowed himself to relax into a dreamless sleep.
×
Adelinde walked into the dining room just as Kaeya and Diluc were finishing their breakfast.
She held a pile of letters in her hand and was sorting through them before she paused, her
eyes widening the slightest bit.
"This one is for you, young master," she said, holding out a silvery-blue letter to Kaeya.
He took it with an arch of his brow and looked at the envelope with a small frown. When he
looked up, he saw Adelinde hand an identical letter to Diluc.
"The devil works quick, but the Kamisato clan works quicker," Diluc sighed, deep and heavy,
turning the letter around and tearing the seal from the back.
Hearing the name Kamisato, Kaeya quickly tore the letter open, a smile on his face as he
pulled out the card from inside. If this was news from Ayato, he was eager to read about
them.
They hadn't contacted each other since that night so many months ago in Liyue, but Kaeya
had truly felt like he'd made a genuine friend on that balcony.
When Diluc agreed to bring him back home, one of the promises Kaeya had made, was that
he would accept the Kamisato clan marriage proposal. Sure he didn't love Ayato. If anything
he respected him for the sacrifices he was making for the sake of his sister's happiness. But
he could picture himself falling into a routine with a friend. And maybe, if the stars allowed,
eventually learn to love his husband over time.
It wouldn't be so bad, really. Ayato was handsome and respectful and hard working. He cared
deeply about his family, and really he was the dream alpha any omega would be lucky to
have. Much like Diluc, he was the prime example of a proper upbringing.
So, sure, Kaeya wasn't entirely opposed to the idea.
And of course, as he began to read the card, his smile only grew larger.
'Love is Tandem.
Kamisato Ayaka and Naganohara Yoimiya
together with our families, invite you to share the beginning of our new lives together, when
we exchange vows Saturday, the 11th of October.
The ceremony will take place at the Grand Narukami Shrine, Mt. Yougou, Narukami Island,
at 15h00, followed by a reception and fireworks show at the Kamisato Estate.'
"That's in two months," Kaeya murmured to himself, turning the card around to see if
anything else was written at the back.
"Shotgun wedding?" Diluc absently asked, pulling out an additional piece of paper from his
envelope.
"Unlikely. They're both alpha," Kaeya mused, doing the same with his own envelope. This
letter, unlike the wedding invitation, was handwritten in thin rice paper, and carried a light
scent of petrichor and the sweetness of blooming sakura. Kaeya recognised it vaguely from
when he'd met Ayato.
He scanned the words quickly, not at all surprised to see that Ayato was, indeed, telling him
that, if Kaeya wouldn't object, he had sent Diluc an official request to start formally courting
him. He lifted his eyes from his letter to see Diluc frowning at his own.
"Something the matter?" Kaeya asked, leaning back against his chair. They hadn't spoken
about his future since Kaeya had arrived, and Diluc had only briefly mentioned telling
Kamisato Ayato that Kaeya had returned to live at the Ragnvindr Estate.
Diluc, however, seemed hesitant about the contents of his letter. His brows were pinched into
a frown, his hand rubbing along his forehead like he was trying to keep a headache from
setting.
"Kaeya, Ayato is asking to formally court you," Diluc groaned, his letter falling from his
hands.
"Oh?" Kaeya dragged the syllable a little, secretly enjoying the agony his brother seemed to
be going through. "So?"
"I haven't told him yet."
"About the baby?" Kaeya guessed, his fingers tracing the wax that had sealed the envelope,
the Kamisato camellia flower a beautiful symbol for a beautiful family. "It's not like I'm
raising the child, so I don't see why that should be a problem."
"No. I haven't told him that the betrothal was off," Diluc groaned, leaning his head on the
table.
Kaeya's eyes widened only a fraction at the words. "Wait, what? But I thought-"
"Well, trying to force you into this, was what drove you away in the first place, wasn't it?"
Diluc snapped, looking a little lost, a little desperate. "Father asked me to take care of you,
and for some reason I thought that it meant he wanted me to make sure you'd have a secure
future with a nice alpha from a nice family. Instead of taking care of you, I desperately tried
to push that responsibility onto someone else. And in the process I pushed away the only
family I had left!"
"Diluc, it's not your fault," Kaeya started, noticing the maids slowly retreating away from the
dining area to give them some semblance of privacy. This wasn't exactly how he'd envisioned
this talk to go down.
"How is it not my fault? Kaeya, if only I had listened to you-"
"Okay! Fine. But it still was not entirely your fault. You were grieving and you were thrown
into a situation where you had to take over the family business, deal with father's death and
try to honour his last request. You were grasping at straws and I was too stubborn to
understand the kind of pressure you were under," Kaeya reached out to take Diluc's hand.
"We were both in the wrong. I was too prideful and stubborn, holding onto dreams that
weren't my own. And you were too focused on doing what you thought was right. We were
unbendable, but then again, father didn't raise us to be doormats."
Diluc sniffed out a laugh and looked up at Kaeya. He looked like a heavy weight had been
taken off his shoulders, and Kaeya realised for the first time the burden his brother had been
carrying for the past couple of months.
"We messed up," Diluc breathed sounding exhausted and a little baffled at their stupidity.
"Father really raised a couple of pigheaded fools didn't he?"
Kaeya nodded, squeezing Diluc's hand before reaching up to fix his hair around his face.
"Tell Ayato that I'd be delighted to start our official courtship."
Diluc tensed again. "No. Kae, I can't. This isn't what you want."
"Mn, maybe not. But I've been through a lot in the past year, and sometimes a change of
perspective makes you rethink what you thought you knew about yourself. Take me, for
example. I thought I wanted to go to dance school and be on the stage and travel Teyvat. It
took me therapy to realise that all this time I've been trying to live my mother's dream for her.
That dancing was my own way of feeling closer to her, of making her dream come true."
"What about now?" Diluc asked, his head tilting to the side, not unlike a curious child.
"It's- It's complicated," Kaeya shrugged, looking briefly up at the chandelier hanging above
the dining table. "But I'm twenty-four. I have plenty of time to figure myself out, I think. And
Ayato is a good man. He's kind and understanding-"
"Where's this coming from? I thought you hated him?" Diluc questioned, his eyes narrowing.
"I met him when I was in Liyue. Gave him a proper fright, too. We were together when I had
my first fake contraction."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"You should have seen his face, I thought he'd keel over and cry for a minute," Kaeya
laughed, his hand absently resting upon his stomach.
So empty. So lifeless.
It's been about four months since the baby had been born, and Kaeya's figure had mostly
returned to its original form. His hips had remained wider than they'd been before, but his
chest wasn't swollen anymore, yet it still felt tender to the touch even though his milk had
long gone dry. The extra meat in his butt made most of his leggings look amazing on him,
too, and if he tried hard enough, he could even ignore the stretch marks that still spidered up
the underside of his belly.
But the emptiness everytime he touched his stomach was something he couldn't get used to,
no matter how long it's been. To touch his flat belly and not feel a kick against his hand, or to
be lying on his back and not feel the baby move around inside him. It was a loneliness he
didn't know how to properly deal with yet.
Maybe he should talk to Lisa about that on their next session.
"Kaeya?"
"Yeah?"
"I don't want you to accept Ayato's proposal for the wrong reasons," Diluc said, blinking up
at his brother. "I know you said you'd marry him if I let you come back home, but Kaeya, the
moment you called, I knew I'd bring you back no matter what. I was so relieved to hear your
voice, that everything else didn't fucking matter. I brought you home because you're family
and I love you. Not because you promised to marry Ayato."
He knew that now, of course. Even though for the first few weeks back in Mondstadt he'd
wondered when Diluc would bring up his betrothal, and make him go through with his
promise, he learned along the way that Diluc was just happy to have his brother back. Broken
and battered though he'd been.
"I know," Kaeya smiled, looking down at the letter Ayato had written him. He let his fingers
follow the loops of his own name in Ayato's neat penmanship, so carefully written like his
name alone was precious and should be treasured. "It's just courtship, right? We may even
decide not to go through with the engagement or the wedding if it doesn't work out for us.
Ayato and I have come to an understanding of some sort."
"How come?"
"We decided to be friends," Kaeya said, lips pursing. "I can imagine us becoming good
friends in the future. He sounds smart, maybe a little uptight, but he has a big responsibility
as head of the Kamisato clan and whatever else it is he does in Inazuma. And who knows,
maybe we'll fall in love at some point. It's honestly not that hard to imagine myself falling for
Ayato. I mean have you looked at him? Hello, daddy?"
Diluc made a gagging noise and stood up from the table. "You're gross. Disgusting. I ought to
ship you off to Inazuma right now just so I don't have to deal with this particular brand of
bullshit. This must be divine punishment. Barbatos hates me."
Kaeya was cackling in his seat, head thrown back and eyes tearing up. It felt- nice, to be able
to laugh like that again. Teasing Diluc was slowly becoming second nature again. Bickering
with him felt as natural as breathing when they were children, and now he was finally settling
back into their old dynamic.
Maybe Kaeya had been wrong. Maybe he had always belonged here, with his big brother in
the house that watched them grow up. He just didn't know it at the time.
"Kae?"
"Yes, Luc?"
"I missed your laughter," Diluc said, his hand landing on Kaeya's shoulder. "Welcome home,
little brother."
Kaeya's smile broadened. "Feels good to be back."
Chapter End Notes
Guess who's been diagnosed with a UTI? That's right. Ya girl. 😏👉👉 ayyyy
I may be slower with replies, or even skip some. Everything is pain and I haven't slept
enough to deal with this bullshit.
sed hep
🥺
What if I let you?
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Ritou was bustling with activity by the time Kaeya's ship made port. There were people
yelling at each other, lifting up cargo, carrying thick ropes, children running ammok among
the workers and laughing as they played.
Inazuma felt... Alive. It felt alive in a very similar way Liyue had felt alive. The scent of the
sea breeze was a little sharper here, carrying perhaps the heaviness of the thunderstorms the
land was often struck by. But the blanket of sea that stretched out into the horizon was the
same, vast and deceivingly unmoving.
"Young Master, we have arrived," Hillie said, the sound of her heels clacking closer from
behind Kaeya.
"I can see that," Kaeya smiled, turning to face her. "Where is Moco?"
"Taking care off our luggage, as instructed," the young maid said, her lips curling into a
polite smile.
The process of disembarking was simple enough with the help Diluc insisted he needed.
Bringing Moco and Hillie hadn't been in Kaeya's original plans when Ayato invited him to
come spend some time in Inazuma, but now that he brought them, he felt a little more at ease.
They were diligent and polite, and often kept out of his way, giving him plenty of privacy. It
felt more like they were there to help him with what he needed, and less like his brother was
sending someone to keep him out of trouble.
"Hey! Kaeya! Over here!"
As Kaeya stepped down into the solid wood of the dock, he heard Thoma calling for him
from not far away. Lifting his head, he searched the area among the gaggle of people that
gathered at the exit of the ship, many of them trying to get their land legs back before they
attempted to walk again.
He finally found his old friend standing atop a large crate, his smile as bright as the sun and
his arm waving wildly to call for his attention. Kaeya waved back and soon they were
standing side by side, Thoma's arm wrapping around Kaeya in a side hug.
"Thoma, thank you for meeting me here," Kaeya greeted. "I'd be lost without you."
"It's so good to see you again! And, look! I can hug you properly now!" Thoma chuckled,
turning to the maids flanking Kaeya. "Hello ladies. Welcome to Inazuma. How was your
trip?"
Kaeya followed after Thoma as Hillie and Moco told him about their journey, twin blushes
colouring their smooth cheeks when Thoma insisted on helping them carry their luggage. The
conversation stretched all the way through customs, and only switched to something else
once everyone was in the car and ready to drive away.
"Lord Ayato has been incredibly busy these past few days. Between Lady Ayaka's wedding,
the Sumidagawa Festival preparations, your visit, and the hostility that has restarted between
Watatsumi Island and the Tenryou commission, we've had our hands full," Thoma said,
heaving a tired sigh.
"Was this not a good time for me to have come? Had I known how hard you've been working,
I would have delayed my visit a couple of weeks. Or waited until the wedding to come at all."
"No! Ayato invited you, didn't he? He wants you here, trust me, he has spoken of little else
these past few days," Thoma slowed down as he turned the car into a rural road. "Between
you and me, I think he's been working extra hours just so he can have enough free time to
spend with you."
Kaeya smiled, looking out the window and taking in the new scenery. "He's a kind man, isn't
he?"
"Hm... I don't know about that," Thoma mused, his fingers drumming on the steering wheel
to the rhythm of a song only he could hear. "He's considerate and gentlemanly. He was raised
to be a decent man. But he has his fair share of mischief and cunning in him. He's far too
smart for me to try to understand him. And of course, I wish I could permanently ban him
from the kitchen. Sometimes I don't know how I'm still alive after he experiments with new
ingredients."
"Hazardous cook. Duly noted," Kaeya chuckled, his eyes widening when he saw a group of
red foxes laying around the fields, their young chasing each other and yipping at their parents
to join the fun. "Where are we?"
"We're nearing Konda village, but we won't go through to Inazuma City. The Kamisato Estate
is a little further Northeast, within the Chinju Forest area at the foot of Mt. Yougou," Thoma
explained making a left turn. "You can see most of Inazuma from our courtyard. It's really
something."
It really was. The scenery was absolutely breathtaking, the trees tall and lush. The light in the
forest was so dim under the canopy of the trees that the area seemed to be cast in eternal
night. Bar for a few wildlife (and surprisingly, a giant statue of a raccoon, for some reason),
there was nothing but a deep expanse of greenery surrounding them for miles.
It felt like too long and not long enough, but eventually the Kamisato Estate appeared in the
horizon at the top of the hill. The trees grew less dense and the sun shone through again, and
at last their ride came to an end, as Thoma stopped the car at the gates and waited for them to
open so they could come through.
"Amazing," Hillie said from the back seat.
"Look at all the guards! Dawn winery doesn't have half the security this place has," Moco
added, wide eyed wonder as her head swivelled to and fro.
"Dawn Winery has Adelinde and Elzer," Kaeya reminded them. "No intruder that values their
life would dare go through them."
The girls nodded in agreement, being more than well acquaintanted with Adelinde's
discipline and Elzers ruthlessness.
Kaeya got off the car and looked around the courtyard. It was lovely and very well tended for.
The pine trees that surrounded the house were pruned to perfection, and the small pond gave
the place a refreshing note. It was lovely and hectic, with people running frantically around
carrying piles of fabric and baskets of food and whatever else in big and small parcels back
and forth from the gates to the house, from the house to the shed.
It was dizzying.
"Thoma!" A young lady dressed in a blue summer dress came running down the stairs, her
eyes wide and filled with worry. "Thank the Almighty Shogun, you're back! You have to
make him eat! He hasn't eaten anything today yet. If he keeps working at this pace, he'll pass
out again!"
"My lady, slow down yourself. You'll give yourself an ulcer if you keep stressing about Lord
Ayato like that. Come, let me introduce you to our guests," Thoma gently placed his hand on
her shoulder and turned to face them. "This is Young Master Kaeya Alberich, Master Diluc's
brother and Lord Ayato's betrothed. And these are Hillie and Moco, his help during his stay
in Inazuma."
Kaeya bowed his head, a habit he'd picked up in Liyue and hasn't quite unlearned yet. The
lady bowed back, her eyes widening impossibly as she realised that Thoma hadn't been alone.
"Dear me, I'm incredibly sorry for my rudeness. I am Kamisato Ayaka, Ayato's younger
sister," she said with a small, shy smile. "You truly are as beautiful as my brother has said.
He's been so exited about your visit."
"I've been told he's overworking himself?" Kaeya asked, his head tilting to the side. "Perhaps
I could attempt to persuade him to leave his work for long enough to share a meal with us?"
"Normally I'd decline. You are our guest after all," Ayaka said, her brows furrowing. "But
you might be exactly the distraction he needs right now."
"Shall I escort you there?" Thoma suggested, already turning towards the main building.
"Allow me," Ayaka interjected. "Koharu and Furuta have been looking for you. Something
about Taroumaru."
Kaeya didn't know what a Taroumaru was, but it seemed important because Thoma looked
impossibly worried all of a sudden, and he quickly jogged away without another word.
He watched him leave for a second, before his attention was snatched by Ayaka instructing
her staff to guide Hillie and Moco to the guest rooms. Then with a clap of her hands, she
turned to Kaeya with a smile.
"Shall we?"
The Kamisato Estate was built in a very traditional Inazuman style architecture. Though it
was undoubtedly ancient and it had stood for decades, the building was extremely well
tended to, clearly maintained by the family as both a symbol of their clan, and as a sign of
respect towards the generations that had inhabited those walls before them.
The decor inside was simple and elegant. Minimalist, but not empty. It was very much what
Kaeya had expected of someone like Ayato. There were memorabilia decorating the walls,
handpainted paper fans, traditional kimono stands displaying beautifully crafted outfits fit for
nobility, even a samurai armour, polished and pristine, displayed in a nook on the wall.
Everywhere he looked he saw a tribute to the generations past, and a deep love and respect
for the history of the Kamisato family. Kaeya couldn't help but to admire the details.
Ayaka knocking on the frame of a shoji door brought Kaeya's attention back. It didn't
however, bring Ayato's away from the pile of papers towering over his low desk.
He sat quietly, clad in a simple blue yukata, looking comfortable but not at all relaxed. His
hand flew over a paper he was writing on, brows knitted into a frown as he focused on his
words.
"Ayato. There's someone here to see you," Ayaka called, her own expression showing the
concern for her brother.
"I'm sorry, Ayaka, but I really cannot leave this unattended. Whoever it is can wait," Ayato
said, looking for something among his papers.
"Even if it is young master Kaeya?"
Ayato let out a short laugh. "Ha! Very funny little sister but Kaeya isn't scheduled to arrive
until Sunday."
"But it is Sunday," said Kaeya, enjoying the way Ayato's head snapped up to look at him a
little too much. "In fact, a few more hours and it's almost Monday."
"Kaeya..." Ayato breathed his name like a secret, like he couldn't quite believe what he was
seeing. "Am I hallucinating you? Have I really overworked myself that much again?"
"Yes. Absolutely. And as your personal self-care hallucination I am here to tell you to stop,"
Kaeya solemnly said, stepping closer to the low table. "Hello, Ayato."
"It's good to see you again," Ayato smiled, reaching out to hold Kaeya's hand. His fingers
were warm and gentle, and his eyes looked red from exhaustion but there was something else
there, something incredibly soft. "I almost dare to say I have missed you somewhat."
"Then treat me to a meal. I've had a long journey, and I'd love to sit back and relax and enjoy
some time with my betrothed," Kaeya suggested, tugging Ayato's hand. "Please?"
"I must take a shower and change before that," Ayato murmured, looking down at his simple
attire and discreetly taking a sniff of his clothes.
"You're fine. I'm not here to meet with the head commissioner, or Lord Kamisato. I'm here to
meet with Ayato. Stinky and tired and soft Ayato. If we are to be married at some point I
believe I should get used to seeing you in your most natural state, no?"
"Truly," Ayato said, bringing Kaeya's hand up to his lips and pressing a soft kiss to his
knuckles. "I must be the luckiest alpha if the archons have sent me someone like you."
Oh.
Oh, that was something close to flirting, wasn't it? And Kaeya, well, he didn't mind it. Of
course, it helped that Ayato was handsome as sin and a gentleman to top it up, but truly, it
didn't disgust him or make him feel uncomfortable at all.
"Still, I would rather shower and feel refreshed before we eat. More for my own sanity's sake
than for yourself. I regret to inform you I have a tendency to let go of my well-being when I
am working."
"Then it'll be my pleasure to remind you when you're overdoing it," Kaeya promised feeling
his ears burn when Ayato got up and his yukata slid open, exposing most of his chest until the
man sorted it into place again.
"I will meet with you shortly. Until then, feel free to shower and change as well. I'm sure you
would like to freshen up after your journey."
Taking Ayato's suggestion, Kaeya did decide to relax for a little. With the help of one of the
staff, Kaeya found his room and busied himself by storing his clothes in the wardrobe that
was pushed against the wall opposite to the bed. The window of his bedroom had a view of
the sea, and in the horizon he could see the distant outlines of the Tenshukaku and the
buildings surrounding it.
Kaeya had been to Inazuma once before when he was very little. It had been around two or
three months after he'd been officially adopted - or rather claimed - by Crepus Ragnvindr. He
couldn't remember much of it. He had still been mourning his mother, still been adapting to
life as a young lord, in a new family. But he remembered vaguely the way Tenshukaku had
towered over the city, the shadow it cast, dark and menacing. He'd clung to Diluc's hand like
a lifeline.
Now, from this distance, it seemed like an unnecessary ostentation of power. The official
residence of the current Shogun was, if nothing else, a facade to intimidate anyone who'd
dare to entertain the idea of threatening the Nation.
Now that he thought about it, Thoma had vaguely mentioned the rising tension between
Watatsumi and the Tenryou commission. He wondered what that was about.
"None of your damn business is what it is," Kaeya told himself as he climbed into the shower
to wash himself.
Clean and dressed in something a little more casual and comfortable, Kaeya sat by the
window and scrolled through his phone in an attempt to get better acquainted with it. He'd
left most of his possetions in Liyue, including his electronics and his entire wardrobe. The
first thing Diluc did when Kaeya arrived, was to send Adelinde shopping for new things.
Things that had unsurprisingly fit Kaeya like a glove, even when his body was still swollen
and heavy after childbirth.
The second thing was to get him a new phone. A phone which screen wasn't cracked and
broken. A phone that could be turned off without fear of never turning back on again. "This
way you can always be able to reach me if you need me," Diluc had said. Kaeya felt grateful
nonetheless.
"Kaeya?"
The knock was almost too quiet for him to pick up, but he stood from his seat and opened the
door. Ayato stared back at him, his hair damp and combed back away from his face, his eyes
bright when they met Kaeya's.
"Hi," Kaeya greeted, his lips automatically curling into a smile.
"Hi," Ayato replied, his expression mimicking Kaeya's. It was tender and a little awkward but
Kaeya still moved aside to make room for Ayato to come inside. "Want to come in?"
Ayato seemed a little taken aback. "Isn't an omega's room really sacred to them?"
Kaeya looked behind himself, at the neatly made bed, not a hint of a nest atop of the sheets,
at the bare nightstands without a single personal item bar for his phone charger. "Well, it's not
really my room, is it? I haven't nested here, and I'm not going to stay here for long. So it
doesn't really count. This isn't my home."
"Yet," Ayato said, a little hopefully. "Right?"
"Even after we marry, I would assume we'd share a room?"
"You'd do that?" Ayato looked surprised, but simultaneously pleased with the idea. "You'd...
You'd share your space with me?"
Kaeya shrugged, looking down at his feet before meeting Ayato's eyes again. "After we mate
and bond, it's going to be really hard for me if I'm away from my mate, especially in the
beginning. It's an instinct thing. When we bond I will automatically be attached to you,
emotionally and physically. It's part of my nature. I'll need my alpha close. I need to feel safe,
to know that..." Kaeya swallowed the lump forming in his throat. "To know that our... Our
children will..."
His voice broke entirely, and emotion swelled in his chest. He wasn't sure why, really. He'd
been working on it with his therapist. He thought he was getting better with the idea that he
was not meant to have any sort of claim over the baby he'd carried for Zhongli and Ajax. He
thought it hurt a little less every day.
But thinking of bearing anyone else's child, even someone as accommodating and kind as
Ayato, it felt wrong. Like he was doing something to insult and disrespect his mates.
"Hey, it's okay," Ayato soothed, holding Kaeya's arm and bringing him close into a tight
embrace. "What's wrong?"
"I'm sorry," Kaeya gasped, hiding his face in Ayato's chest. "I'm sorry. I just... I thought I was
getting better."
"Is this about the baby?" Ayato asked, his hand gently running along the silky strands of
Kaeya's hair. "Do you miss your baby?"
"He's not mine, Ayato. He was never meant to be mine," Kaeya choked out the words, his
hands clutching the soft cotton of Ayato's yukata - this one a shade of green that reminded
him of the autumn fields of Liyue. Everything reminded him of Liyue. His stomach cramped.
"Do they let you visit him? I'm sure they'd be happy to host you again," Ayato suggested, his
voice a little too hopeful.
"I can't. I don't want to," Kaeya confessed, wiping his tears with the back of his hand. "It
hurts too much. I haven't even held the baby. I couldn't do it. I wouldn't be able to let him go
if I had. I couldn't do that to them."
"So you removed yourself from the picture," Ayato concluded with a deep sigh. "Shit,
Kaeya."
"Shit is correct," Kaeya agreed, looking up to face Ayato. "I haven't been entirely honest with
you. When I told you that I might not be able to give you more than my friendship, I meant
that I have fallen in love with someone else."
Ayato nodded, looking not at all surprised with the news. He guided Kaeya further into the
room and took a sit on the bed, before pulling him to sit beside him.
"I figured as much," Ayato said, a small, sad smile on his lips. "Ajax or Zhongli?" When
Kaeya didn't answer, Ayato's lips parted in understanding, a silent Oh forming there. "Both."
"I'm dumb, right? I'm the dumbest-"
"I recently learned that love doesn't make sense. Sometimes you live years with someone and
never fall in love with them. Some other times you meet someone for the first time during a
trip abroad, and you can't get them out of your head, no matter how hard you try to tell
yourself that you really shouldn't get attached so quickly," Ayato chuckled, but there was a
hint of sadness beneath the smile. A sadness that, were Kaeya a better man, a braver man, he
would enjoy kissing away. "Love works in very mysterious ways. The heart is a very
stubborn mistress, and it usually doesn't listen to logic."
"Have you ever been in love, Ayato?" Kaeya asked, lying his head on Ayato's shoulder.
"Have you ever felt like you could move mountains to make someone happy?"
Ayato was silent for a long time, but Kaeya could see the way his fingers tentatively inched
closer to his until he could hold Kaeya's hand. He ran his thumb across Kaeya's knuckles, and
squeezed his hand gently. "I think I have. I don't fully understand it yet, but I think that I
would turn myself inside out to see this person smile every day until I breathe my last."
Kaeya looked up, a hint of excitement and dread pooling at the pit of his stomach as their
eyes met. Ayato was looking at him like he had single-handedly hanged every single bright
star in the night sky, like Kaeya was the most precious thing he'd ever had the privilege to
hold in his arms.
"I'm sorry, Ayato," Kaeya breathed, closing his eyes just so he wouldn't see the adoration in
the man's expression. "I'm so sorry."
"Don't be. Like I said, the heart wants what it wants. Sometimes, it just doesn't get what it
wants."
"I thought for a moment that you were talking about Thoma," Kaeya sighed, snuggling a little
closer to the alpha. "You look at each other with so much complicity."
"Oh don't get me wrong. Thoma and I have definitely had our fair share of fun together. We
are definitely attracted to one another, physically at least. And sometimes it feels good to just
let go of propriety and indulge in some carnal pleasure with a friend. But that's all we are.
Friends," Ayato laughed, relaxing into Kaeya's bed and pulling Kaeya to lay his head on his
chest. "But ever since Thoma expressed that he was interested in your brother, we haven't
engaged in anything lascivious. Then I decided to officially
court you, and since you agreed I haven't taken any partners. I respect you too much to risk
hurting your feelings, even if you don't care for me the same way I care for you."
"Yet," Kaeya said smiling. "I want to, Ayato. I want to be happy with you. I want to fall for
you. But my life has been so bleak lately. I thought I knew myself, but I really don't. Not
anymore at least," Kaeya sighed. "I told Diluc that I could see us being happy together. And I
meant it. Just... Might take me a while to get over Zhongli and Ajax."
"Big shoes to fill," Ayato mused, a grin on his lips.
"I don't want you to fill any shoes but your own," Kaeya reassured him, cradling Ayato's face
in his hand. "I want to love you for you. Not because I see them in you."
Ayato sat up slightly, his weight supported by his elbows. "I really want to kiss you right
now, and you're making it very hard not to."
Laughing, Kaeya leaned closer to Ayato, his head quirking to the side as he brushed their
noses together. "What if I let you?"
"Do you kiss all your friends?" Ayato quietly asked, his breath tickling Kaeya's lips.
"Only the stinky ones," Kaeya whispered back.
"Damn, I shouldn't have showered, then."
Ayato cupped Kaeya's face, and their lips connected in a slow, soft kiss, hesitant at first as
they mapped each other's mouths with every stroke of their tongues. Then Kaeya gasped, his
eyes fluttering closed as he shifted closer to Ayato, so close he was virtually on his lap, his
lips parting into a silent O as Ayato started kissing along his jaw, before nipping down his
throat.
Ayato's hand found its way to the curve of Kaeya's waist, and gripped the flesh there, spidery
fingers absently tugging the shirt up until they made contact with Kaeya's warm skin. The
soft sound he released against Ayato's mouth was swallowed by a newfound urgency in their
kissing, and Kaeya gasped as his own hand traced the hills and valleys of Ayato's muscled
chest.
"My lord? Kaeya? Dinner is served!" Thomas's words came followed by a quick succession
of knocks, and Kaeya quickly pulled back away from Ayato, so fast he nearly fell off the bed.
Ayato held onto his arm and tugged him closer, swiftly averting disaster. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah. Just... Just a little startled."
Chuckling, Ayato ran his thumb over Kaeya's kiss-swollen lips and gave him a quick peck
before gracefully jumping to his feet and opening the door.
"Thoma," he said, a small nod of his head. "We'll be down momentarily."
Thoma looked from him to Kaeya, and took notice of their red lips, their dishevelled hair, the
deep flush of their cheeks, and with a smirk he stepped back and said, "Would you rather if I
brought the food up?"
"No, that won't be necessary. Thank the kitchen staff and send them home for the day.
They've done a good job and deserve their rest."
"Sure..." Thoma laughed, turning around and leaving down the stairs. "Don't have too much
fun or the food will get cold!"
Ayato closed the door again, laughter bubbling in his chest. "I ought to fire him someday."
"You like him too much," Kaeya stood up and tried to fix his crooked shirt, and comb his hair
into something acceptable. When he was satisfied he looped his arm through Ayato's and
jerked his head towards the door. "I believe you owe me dinner, now."
"Indeed I do," Ayato agreed, guiding him through the house. "Maybe after dinner you'd like
to join me for a walk?"
"Yes. That sounds nice."
Chapter End Notes
Oh look, more Kaeyato crumbs.
Also as a side note, I was thinking about starting a twitter account. Am I biting more
than I can chew? Maybe. But I think it would be fun to interact with people maybe.
Lemme know what you think?
Edit: I did it. So... Idk follow me on Twt @momosagii maybe?
Forest Fire
Chapter Notes
Content Warning: This chapter features descriptions of a panic attack, slightly more
severe than the previous. Once again, stay safe.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Ayato looked like he was two words away from crying when they arrived at the docks in
Ritou a week later.
Kaeya's stay had been short but riddled with moments he would always keep safe and warm
in his heart. From his daily walks with Ayato, to teaching the local children the magic of the
waltz, Kaeya had had more fun in those six days than he could remember in the recent years.
As for his betrothal to the head of the Kamisato clan, well, after that first night where they'd
both been guided by emotion and loneliness, they'd agreed to leave the heavy making our
sessions on hold for a while. It wasn't fair to Ayato, considering his growing feelings for
Kaeya. It wasn't fair, and it wasn't right, not while Kaeya's heart still very much ached for
other men.
Still, walking arm in arm through the streets of Inazuma City, visiting the old ruins of an
ancient temple, and walking barefoot on the beach, all while getting to know Ayato a little
better, well, Kaeya could safely say that he was looking at his future with the head of the
Yashiro Commission in a brighter, more positive light.
"Ah, man, I can't believe it's over already," Thoma said, his hair wildly waving in the wind.
"You have to come more often."
"Next time you come should be for my wedding, if I'm correct? So we'll see each other in a
little over a month again." Ayaka mused, her rosy cheeks glowing in the early morning sun.
"When will you be announcing your engagement?"
"Not before you wed," Ayato said, side-hugging his sister. "Besides Kaeya and I have only
been officially courting for a few weeks. It would be far too premature to announce an
engagement when I haven't even officially proposed yet."
Kaeya winced a little. He supposed that marrying one of the most important men in Inazuma
came with a binder full of protocol. Had it been like that for Ajax, too, when Zhongli finally
proposed back? Being a direct descendant of the Liyue Imperial family, even if they no
longer exercised their power and claim over the Nation, he assumed they'd still have a long
laundry-list of traditions and protocol they'd have to uphold. It was controversy enough that
Zhongli was marrying another alpha. For the people to fully accept their union, they bust
have found other ways to pacify them, and usually that meant respecting local customs and
upholding traditions.
(Kaeya suspected that the blow of public opinion had been significantly less harsh
considering that Zhongli had been, in fact, married once before, to a proper beta noblewoman
of similar standing. After losing his lover in such a tragic way, he supposed the people
wouldnt oppose too harshly to him move on and finding love again without raising much fuss
about the whos and the whats.)
It would be different with Ayato of course. Kaeya wasn't an alpha. He was the second-son of
one of Mondstatd's oldest bloodlines, talented in languages and the arts, raised to be a proper
young lord in everything but name. His brother, too, was wildly respected across the seven
nations, both due to his business conduct and his upbringing. Kaeya was, in theory, the best
option for Ayato.
What concerned him was everything else. Everything he didn't have the courage or the
emotional stability to think about at the moment. Not with his new friends and old
surrounding him and looking teary-eyed like they were making an immense effort not to cry
in his presence. And Kaeya had no idea why. He hadn't done anything to warrant that kind of
emotional send-off. If anything, he'd spent most of his days glued to Ayato's side, exchanging
childhood stories and wishing with every fibre of his being that he could look at Ayato with
the same adoration he looked at Kaeya.
"Young master Kaeya, the ship is leaving in ten minutes," Moco said from behind him, and
he turned to thank her with a smile.
Thoma and Ayaka gave him nice, tight hugs and swanned away to give the future couple
more privacy. Kaeya almost laughed at the wink Thoma sent his way.
"This week passed by way too quickly. I wish you could stay a little longer," Ayato said,
taking both of Kaeya's hands in his. "This time we spent together was truly unforgettable. If
only I didn't have to return to my duties so soon."
"I had a lot of fun, too. Maybe next time you'll even join me for a dance class," Kaeya
chuckled, the memory of the staff's children gathering in the courtyard to learn how to waltz
for Ayaka's wedding fresh and sweet in his mind. "They're good kids."
"You'll be an amazing parent one day," Ayato sighed, a dreamy sort of look crossing his eyes.
"Will you write?"
"Of course I will. Courtship is hard enough in person, let alone two Nations and a whole
ocean away," Kaeya pouted, his fingers diligently fixing the crooked collar of Ayato's coat.
"Will you call?"
"As often as my schedule allows it," Ayato promised, one of his hands migrating to cradle
Kaeya's cheek. "May I kiss you goodbye?"
He could feel his cheeks heating up to the tips of his ears, and he'd never been happier that
his darker complexion helped to hide his blush if only a little.
"How about you kiss me 'see you soon' instead?"
It was timid and soft, so soft Kaeya almost didn't feel it, like Ayato was too afraid Kaeya
would regret it and pull back. Instead, he pressed just a little closer, just hard enough to feel
the contour of Ayato's lips against his before he was pulling back again.
"I will miss you," Ayato confessed, his knuckles lightly caressing Kaeya's cheek. "Tell me
when you make port in Mondstadt. I want to know you arrived safely."
"I will," Kaeya promised, and then he was walking away from his friends, and embarking the
ship that would take him back home.
As he waved goodbye from the prow, searing his friends' smiles in his memory as they yelled
their goodbyes at him, he thought that maybe, just maybe, Lady Life had decided to favour
him for once, and give him a future with plenty happiness and none of the loneliness he still
felt so deeply in his heart.
×
"Their love was a forest fire. It was intense and all-consuming and borderline destructive."
Kaeya looked up from his cup of dandelion wine and watched his brother carefully. Diluc sat
at his desk, his fingers steepled in front of his lips as he stared blankly ahead. His hair was
pulled up in a messy ponytail, and Kaeya didn't want to guess the the last time it had been
acquainted with a brush or a comb.
With a sigh, he stood up from where he'd been sitting on the couch by the unlit fireplace, and
he placed his wine and his book on the side table, the open pages facing down to mark the
place he'd left it on.
"Whose love?" Kaeya asked, bare feet crossing the waxed floorboards of Diluc's office and
standing behind his chair. Carefully, he started undoing the ponytail so he could finger-comb
his hair. "Have you been reading suburban housewife romances again? What's this one titled?
'Indebted to the Wild Billionaire'? Ah, I know, 'Thirty Hues of Greene'."
"They're mindless and mildly entertaining. I do enough thinking during working hours as it
is, and they don't require brain activity to read. But no. I haven't been reading them," Diluc
straightened up to ease Kaeya's access to his head. "I've been reading the correspondence
between father and Miss Freya."
Kaeya's touch hesitated, just for a heartbeat, before he resumed his slow combing though
Diluc's loose curls. He almost considered asking Diluc not to talk about his findings. Reading
their letters felt like an invasion of his mother's and Crepus' privacy. But they were dead. And
Kaeya remembered so little of his mother. He'd forgotten most of her features, her voice, her
touch. He knew she'd been loving and gentle, but he couldn't remember her anymore.
"Did you find anything interesting?" Kaeya asked, trying his best to sound like he wasn't
starving for crumbs of information about his late mother.
Diluc hummed, leaning his head into Kaeya's touch. "Father was planning to propose to her
after- after that pig died."
"After I killed him."
"It wasn't your fault. You wanted to protect her. She felt so guilty about it, about the burden
she knew you'd have to carry for the rest of your life."
Diluc sounded like he knew his mother so much better than he did. A small, impossibly petty
part of him resented him for it.
"I'd do it again. I'd do it a thousand times over. I only regret not being older. I would have
made sure he didn't die so quickly." It was vicious and heartless and cold, but Kaeya meant
every syllable of every word. That son of a cocksucking horsefucker had terrorised him and
his mother for years, had stolen her smile. He deserved to feel terror and pain in return. Just a
sample. Just a taste of his own poison.
"I know, Kae," Diluc turned around to meet his brother's eyes. Surprisingly, there was no
judgement in his face, just pure love, affection, maybe even pride. "I would probably have
helped you. Father would probably have done it for you, had he known what was going on."
"What do you mean?" Kaeya snorted, a sound much like a laugh, without holding any of the
humour. "How could he not know? She told him everything. She'd told him that she feared
what her husband would do had he known who my father really was. How was that-"
"Your mother never sent him that letter," Diluc snapped. "She wrote it, but she never sent it.
He only found out days before he... He found her letter just a few days before..." Kaeya
couldn't see his brother's face but he knew him like the back of his hands. He knew his eyes
were closed, his throat working around words that were too painful to say out loud, even six
years later. "I read it in his journal. Since... that day, I haven't had the heart to touch his
diaries. It felt like too much. But I needed to know. I needed to understand why father hadn't
told you that he had sired you. It made no sense to me, you were his son just as much as I was
- why keep the truth from us? So I dug up his old journals and about a week before my
birthday, there was an entry talking about how he came across his old correspondence with
your mother and finding the letter she didn't send. He found out then, that you were his son.
He found out that she'd lied to him. To all of us."
Kaeya's hands stopped working on Diluc's hair and he stepped back, away from his brother,
away from from the information he thought he wanted to know but was proving to be a little
too much.
"Stop." He hardly recognised his voice. "Why are you telling me this?"
"Because our father was robbed of the privilege of holding his baby boy from the moment
you were born! You were robbed of a caring and loving father for the first years of your life.
And you know why? Because your mother was afraid. Because she was scared, not for
herself or for you, but for what it would do to our father's reputation!"
"Diluc, please!"
"His fucking reputation was worth more than your trauma and your pain and your suffering
and your guilt and her life! Don't you understand how fucked up that is, Kaeya?" Diluc's
voice was raised, but not in anger. Not at his father, or Kaeya, or even Kaeya's mother, but at
life in general for the circumstances it had thrown at their family. "It's okay to be angry about
this! I'm allowed to be angry and, Barbatos help me, so are you! I know she loved you, but
damn it, you're allowed to feel betrayed! You don't have to forgive her just because she was
your mother. She fucked up! She fucked everything up!"
"Stop!" Kaeya begged, his voice hoarse and tight and so very vulnerable. "Stop. Please, stop.
Enough."
Because all Kaeya could hear was how he had done to his son what his mother had done to
his father. Not in the same way, of course. His little love would grow up being immensely
loved by his fathers and he would never know pain in the same intimate way as Kaeya had
known as a toddler. But by removing himself so completely from his life, he was robbing his
son the right to know who had carried him, who had breathed life into him, who had sung
him lullabies before he was bigger than a pea in his womb.
And wasn't Kaeya just an awful person for doing that to him? How was he any better?
The weight of guilt settled within the boney cage of his chest, swelling up until it closed
around his heart and climbed up his throat like a vine. Kaeya needed to get away.
"Where are you going?" Diluc called after Kaeya as he left the office and started down the
stairs.
"I don't know! I don't know. I just- I need-" Kaeya gasped, the lump in his throat swelling. He
couldn't breathe properly. "Out. I can't- I can't- Air-"
"Master Kaeya?"
Their raised voices must have woken the staff, because Adelinde was rushing into the foyer,
her hair loose around her face, her pink pyjamas rumpled like she'd just jolted out of bed. Her
eyes followed Kaeya as he tried to make his way to the front door but he tripped on the thick
carpet and lost his balance. Elzer, by some miracle, was there to catch him, still dressed in his
day attire, his hair tousled and his eyes tired. He was probably finishing his paperwork when
he heard the commotion.
"Young master, please do calm down. Should I bring you ginger tea?" Elzer suggested,
holding Kaeya by the arm and guiding him to the massive dining table so he could take a
seat.
"No!" Kaeya snapped, his fingers digging into the skin of his throat because he still could not
breathe and his heart felt like it was going to explode, it was beating so fast, and everyone
was crowding around him and he felt like he was suffocating. Every shred of control over
himself was slipping through his fingers and it terrified him. He clawed desperately at his
chest, hard, like if he tore a hole through skin and bone and sinew it would allow him to
breathe better. "Help!"
And then the people around him were dispersing, Adelinde yelling at them to give him room
to breathe, to stop gawking at him and get to work. That made breathing just a little bit easier,
and he turned his gaze up to look at her, pleading for her to fix him, to make it okay again.
"Hush now," she cooed, crouching in front of him and placing her hands on his knees,
grounding him. "You're safe here okay? I've got you, Kaeya."
"Linde-"
"Don't speak. Breathe. Can you breathe for me, little star?" Adelinde brushed his hair away
from his face. Her fingers were cool, sobering. "Breathe with me, alright?"
He followed her guidance like a lost man at sea would follow the stars. She counted for him,
and he breathed in and out, in and out, until he didn't feel like he was fighting against his own
body to stay alive. Until he felt the panic receding enough that he could take in deep breaths
without thinking too hard about doing it.
"That's my good boy. We'll have that ginger tea now, Elzer," Adelinde said, her eyes never
leaving Kaeya's. "Diluc, bring Kaeya's bunny down. Try not to touch it too much, it might
still hold the baby's scent."
Both men left the room immediately, both looking quite relieved to have something useful to
do while Kaeya focused on trying to stop shaking so hard.
Later, he would think back and wonder why it kept happening. He was going to therapy and
everything. He had spent an amazing week in Inazuma with dear friends and he'd had a lot of
fun there. But he supposed it spoke of how much shit he still had to work through if he was
falling into panic spells at the mere thought of the child he'd carried for Zhongli and Ajax.
His mother being less than stellar hadn't been news to him. Though he found it difficult to
admit it out loud, there was a reason why he tried so hard to connect to her through dance,
even after her death. Because he could only truly feel her love when dancing was involved.
The only memories he had of her that brought him pure joy always involved a time when
they were dancing together.
But knowing that he was becoming her in his own way was something he didn't want to
accept. Five months after the brith of his baby, and he was just as broken. What a
discouraging thought.
"Sorry," He breathed, leaning into Adelinde's touch as she wiped away his tears. Her fingers
were calloused but cool, gentle as they slowly fixed his hair and ran down his cheek. "I'm so
sorry-"
"Don't apologise," Adelinde smiled, her thumb running over the bruises under his eyes like
that would make them go away. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"
"It was my fault," Diluc confessed, looking not unlike what he did as child when he knew he
was about to get scolded.
He carefully handed Kaeya the floppy bunny, which Kaeya immediately pressed to his nose
in search of that milky, citrusy scent, but he couldn't smell anything anymore. Still, if he
focused hard enough, he could pretend it was still there, still so faint it almost wasn't. But
Kaeya held onto those last memories like his life depended on it. Once that was gone, there
would be nothing left.
"I didn't ask who's at fault, Master Diluc. That won't help us any. I asked what happened,"
Adelinde accepted the tray Elzer carried into the room and served them their tea.
"I was reckless with my words," Diluc said, his hand hesitantly touching Kaeya's arm. "I
brought up a topic that should have been left alone. I didn't consider that you might not be
ready to hear it, and I didn't stop when you asked me to. And for all of that, I apologise."
Noticing that Diluc was directing his words at himself rather than at Adelinde, Kaeya lifted
his head from where he'd pressed it into the stuffed bunny, and met his brother's eyes. They
seemed red and swollen and it struck him by surprise that Diluc might have been so upset he
had cried.
But then, was it really that surprising? Diluc had always felt so much, had always loved so
much, that if he felt that the ones he loved and vowed to protect were in danger or were upset,
especially if he'd been the cause of either, he would weep for them before he tried to fix the
issue. Kaeya had always been the colder one, the one who fixed things before he allowed
himself to feel. If Kaeya fell and hurt his knee, Diluc would cry for him and then carry him
home. If Diluc fell and twisted his ankle, Kaeya would find a way to secure his injury, find
help, and once he was sure he was safe and on his way to recovery, he would let go of the
tension and cry into his brother's shoulder.
A pang of nostalgia shot through his chest, and Kaeya softly tugged at his brother's shirt.
"You're family," Kaeya told him, tugging Diluc closer until he could rest his forehead against
his stomach. "I will always accept your apology."
Diluc choked out a laugh, and slowly ran his fingers through the strands of Kaeya's hair. "I'm
a dumbass, is what I am."
"Yes. But you're my dumbass. And I love you. Just... There's a lot going on here," Kaeya
pulled back enough to point at his chest, right above his heart, "that I don't know how to deal
with. I'm trying, but I feel like I keep failing."
There was a look of genuine bafflement in Diluc's eyes at the words. Like he couldn't quite
believe if he'd heard right.
"Failing? Kaeya, when you came home you were unresponsive for weeks, and mostly mute
until recently. I was afraid I'd lose you because you were wasting away in your bed! Now
you've travelled abroad and made new friends and I know you feel exhausted, but it hasn't
been nearly enough time to heal! I know it can be frustrating, but you must be kind to
yourself and give yourself time to feel better. Change doesn't happen overnight."
Diluc was right, of course. Kaeya knew that what he said made sense, but he was so tired of
feeling sad and lonely and empty and- And like he didn't have a clear future. Like all the
people he had ever loved had always loved him conditionally.
I will love you because you're my true love's son.
I will love you because I'm responsible for you.
I will love you because father told me I should.
I will love you if you don't tell my wife.
I will love you until you birth my child.
I will love you ifI will love you whenI will love you butI will love you-until I won't.
And Kaeya had accepted it. Because an old wife's tale about a cursed eye had convinced him
that he was meant to lose everything he loved, that he was destined to curse everyone around
him and the best way to keep safe - to keep others safe, was to give them everything he had,
until they decided they didn't need him anymore, and then leave.
And yet here Diluc was, apologising to him, trying to convince him that he should show
himself the same kindness he practiced with others, because he deserved to be loved, most of
all, by himself.
"I don't want to be a dancer," Kaeya whispered, the invisible strings that had wrapped around
his neck for most of his life were snapping one by one. "I don't want the spotlight. I don't
want to study in a major dance company. I don't want to be famous."
"What do you want, then?" Diluc asked, his tone patient and curious.
Kaeya looked up at him, at his coral eyes, at his half-smile, and he felt safe. It would be okay
to tell Diluc about it, because Diluc loved him and he wanted Kaeya to be happy.
"I want to open a dance school. I want to teach kids that- kids that had it rough growing up.
Kids that need an adult to encourage them to be good, to do something good. I want to be the
one they rely on."
Diluc's eyebrows shot up to his hairline, and next thing he knew, he was pushing a chair to sit
in front of Kaeya. He handed Kaeya his delicate cup of tea, and encouraged him to take a
couple of sips.
"That's amazing. I did not expect any of that. Archons, Kaeya. Tell me all about it! How did
this come about?"
It was so late it was early by the time Kaeya finished talking about his new dream. A dream
that had been quietly forming in the back of his mind since he left his family's manor six
years ago and been forced to live in the streets for a few weeks. A dream he had never
allowed to fully form, because that would mean giving up his mother's plan for him. Diluc
had absorbed every word like a sponge, looking genuinely fascinated and interested in the
loose ideas that he was clumsily throwing together.
At some point, they'd migrated to the sofa, and Kaeya had fallen asleep with his head on
Diluc's lap, and if by the time morning came and Adelinde came down to check on them to
find them both cuddling on the couch like they were still little kids, well, that was for her to
know and no one to find out.
Chapter End Notes
For those of you who are interested and missed my announcement in the previous
chapter, I have a twitter now @momosagii where I post dumb shit, sneak previews of
future chapters and other works in my drafts.
♥
Infuriating Little Shit
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Ayato and Thoma greeted Kaeya and Diluc with broad smiles. Thoma immediately reached
for their bags, and Kaeya hid a smile behind a cough when he noticed Diluc's face turn red as
their fingers lightly touched each other.
"Allow me," Thoma had said, disappearing into the Estate with their luggage.
It was by sheer miracle that Kaeya was able to bite his tongue and not tease his brother about
his painfully obvious crush. Yet. He had time for that later.
Ayato greeted his brother with a firm handshake, and then wrapped his arm around Kaeya's
waist and pressed a light kiss to his cheek. "I have missed you," he confessed, a dopey smile
on his lips. "You look radiant, Kaeya."
"I think I just threw up a little in my mouth," Diluc groaned, looking away from the both of
them.
With a good natured laugh, Ayato showed them to their room and then in a flurry of petrichor
and sakura blossoms, he was gone, crossing the yard to greet another guest.
Ayaka's and Yoimiya's wedding was the next day, and if Kaeya had thought that the
movement in the estate had been chaotic before, then now it was just a continuous whirlwind
of people coming back and forth, some yelling, some crying, some too tired to watch where
they were going and stumbling over their own feet.
And Ayaka wasn't even head of the clan. He could only imagine how things would be on his
and Ayato's wedding when the day came. He would have to make sure the staff would have
plenty of rest, lest someone die from over-exertion. Wedding preparations were stressful
enough without throwing an impromptu funeral to the mix.
Ayaka herself was nowhere to be seen, and Thoma was so busy delegating the rest of the staff
Kaeya doubted he'd even had a bite to eat at all. Ayato didn't look much better, as he bowed
deeply to a couple of scholars from Sumeru that Kaeya had never met before. He suspected
that would be the norm and not the exception with this event. Lots of people coming from all
over Teyvat that Kaeya had never heard of before, and whose names he'd probably forget as
soon as he learned them.
"A thousand apologies, Kaeya, but I'm afraid this time I won't be able to keep you much
company," Ayato had told them at some point, looking flustered and maybe a little frustrated.
He had expected that much, so he was more than happy to stick to his brother's side and let
the chaos wash over him as he sat under the pergola with a nice pot of Naku tea, and
observing the way Diluc's eyes followed Thoma around. Kaeya doubted he even knew he
was doing it, because a smile slowly tugged at the corners of his lips, tender and so, so fond,
Kaeya felt a little sick.
He looked at Thoma to see him talking to an old lady, his fingers absently petting behind a
dog's ears. Everytime he stopped petting, the dog would bump his hand with its nose and
Thoma would immediately resume his affections.
"In the rain, beneath the sun, our two souls will bind as one," Kaeya sighed, his eyelashes
batting dreamily. "A promise made with ink and rune, and sealed with blessings of the
Moon."
"What on Teyvat are you talking about?" Diluc questioned, tearing his eyes away from
Thoma for long enough to look at his brother.
"Those are the standard Khaenri'ah wedding vows. It's the 'in sickness and in health' of my
mother's homeland," Kaeya told him, glancing at their childhood friend and the adorable
puppy. "He cute."
"He do be cute," Diluc indulged, looking a little lost but nonetheless amused.
"The dog isn't half-bad either," Kaeya laughed.
"That obvious, huh?" Diluc groaned, hiding behind his cup of tea. "I thought I had forgotten
all about him, until he showed up at my doorstep half a year ago. I mean, when we were kids,
he left without saying a word, and still-"
"It was as though no time had passed, and your heart just suddenly remembered that it was
supposed to be helplessly in love with him?" Kaeya suggested, smiling. "Ayato and Thoma
used to sleep together you know?"
"Oh," Diluc mused, looking considerably less hopeful, now. Then his expression morphed
into something else. Something that almost resembled anger. "Wait Ayato-"
"Emphasis on 'used to', because you're a meathead and have selective hearing. They ended
things after their trip to Mondstadt. It seems that Thoma has met with an old flame and is
considering courting them."
"He's a beta. Courting isn't necess-"
"You're missing the point entirely you cuckleheaded prick," Kaeya groaned, pointing a finger
at his brother. "If by the end of the day you don't ask Thoma to be your plus one tomorrow, I
will tell him you used to moan his name in your sleep, repeatedly."
"You wouldn't!" Diluc sounded a lot less sure than he thought he did, and Kaeya only offered
him a slow, sly smile.
"Oh, but I would brother dear. I would."
"What about you?" Diluc demanded, hissing the words at him like a threat. "You're my plus
one! If I ask Thoma, who will you go with?"
"Oh, woe me! What hardships I must endure for my brother's happiness! What a conundrum.
If only the alpha who's been courting me for the past couple of months was around to take me
to his sister's wedding, as his plus one, to the wedding that he organised himself, for his
sister, who is getting married," Kaeya tipped the cup of tea and drank it in one sip. "Whatever
will I do? How will I attend my future sister-in-law's wedding if my future mate isn't here to"
"Okay! Fine! I get it!" Diluc punched Kaeya's arm and let his head fall onto the table. "You're
an infuriating little shit."
"And you're a supercilious knobhead, and yet you don't see me complaining," Kaeya shot
back, leaning closer to his brother. "Ask him. If he says no I will swallow this teapot."
Diluc looked half nauseated, half scandalised, entirely uncomfortable. "There are better ways
to brag about not having a gag reflex, like, for example, not."
Kaeya would have laughed, but for a fraction of a second, his eyes caught a brief flash of
brown and gold. It was there, and then it wasn't. It was only when a member of the staff
walked by carrying a bunch of fabric rolls in his arms that Kaeya realised his brain was
playing tricks on him. He quieted down, then, and turned to his tea in silence.
Lately he had been seeing them everywhere. Just the previous week he was walking down the
fish market when he saw a flash of ginger. When he looked, he noticed it was just a lady and
her infant daughter standing by the mussels stand. Then again, two days ago, he'd gone to his
old building to visit Mona and Fischl, and heard someone laugh in the flat next door, deep
and rumbling and smooth, so much like Zhongli's, but it turned out it was just uncle Cyrus
watching old reruns of his favourite show.
It was becoming unbearable, really, how much he missed Ajax and Zhongli. He knew, of
course, that he was technically an engaged man, that he should be doing everything to forget
about them, but it was proving to be nearly impossible. He missed them in his heart, in his
mind, in the very marrow of his bones. It was like they'd been ingrained in his soul,
embedded in the essence of his being, and he could not separate himself from them anymore.
"-so we scheduled the orgy for next Saturday instead. I'm counting on you to bring the saw
and plastic bags, because fuck knows I'm not hiding the bodies by myself this time," Diluc
was saying next to him.
Kaeya's eyes snapped towards his brother, confusion and disgust twisting his face. "I beg
your fucking pardon?"
Diluc leaned back, his eyebrow arching. "Welcome back. You seemed distant for a moment
there. Care to tell me where you went?"
Kaeya glanced back towards the entrance of the estate, but still, Zhongli did not show up. He
snuffed the spark of hope in his chest and turned back to Diluc.
"I thought I saw someone," Kaeya muttered, lowering his eyes to his hands, where his
trembling fingers laced together.
"Who?"
"Doesn't matter," Kaeya sighed. "I'm tired. We've had a long trip and I'd like to go lie down
for a bit."
"You thought you saw your baby's father, right?" Diluc pushed. "When are you going to tell
me who they are?"
A sad, sad smile twisted Kaeya's lips, and he let out a small laugh, weak and and resigned.
"He's not my baby, Diluc. And you know I can't tell you who they are. I can't."
"Can't," Diluc glared, "Or won't?"
"Both."
Pushing his half-empty cup of tea away from him, Kaeya stood up from the low table and
squeezed Diluc's shoulder. "I'm going to take a quick nap, okay? Call me down when it's time
for dinner."
"Will do."
Kaeya thanked him with a nod and left. The entire time as he walked into the manor, he could
feel Diluc's eyes pinned on him, watching him until the heavy doors closed behind him.
All he needed was a nice nap. That was it. He'd be good as new once he'd had a few hours of
rest.
×
Ayato's laughter boomed from within the dining hall, followed by Thoma's indignant protests.
Kaeya looked back over his shoulder, at the people he cared so much about, at the people he
one day hoped to see as family. At the man he one day hoped to love.
His fingers drummed absently over the wooden rail that separated the Kamisato Estate from
the rest of Inazuma. The view from the courtyard was breathtaking. At night, he could see the
glowing lights of Inazuma City, the massive imposing structure of Tenshukaku.
The mewling cries of an infant caught his attention and he startled, his head swiveling as
instinct took over.
Walking in the opposite side of the courtyard, by the gates, was a young woman, cradling her
baby to her chest and rocking them in a desperate attempt to calm them down.
"Hush now, Ah-Mei," She begged, her hand running up and down the baby's back in an
attempt to quiet them. "Why are you crying? I just changed your nappy. Please, I don't
understand."
"He's sleepy," Kaeya heard himself say, turning around and leaning back against the railing.
The young lady stopped in her tracks, sunset eyes gleaming up at him with the kind of
surprise that spoke of how she hadn't noticed he'd been there at all.
"How could you tell?"
Kaeya pursed his lips, carefully closing the distance between them. "I don't know if I can
explain it properly. It's just the way his crying sounds. If you hear closely you can hear a
'Aoh' sound when he cries. With yawning, his mouth opens wide and his tongue flattens
down and recedes, that's how you know he's tired.," Kaeya explained. "I suppose these things
come with omega instinct?"
Her eyebrows arched with surprise. "Omega?" Then she closed the rest of the distance
between them. "Do you think you could help me?"
Kaeya hesitated. He wasn't really sure how he could help this young mother and her baby, but
something in him made him move before he could fully process the request. In an instant, the
lady had passed him the baby, and Kaeya cradled the precious bundle in his arms like he was
always meant to fit within them, like this baby boy belonged in his embrace and nowhere
else.
A surge of pain shot through his chest, and his vision blurred with tears, but Kaeya held
firmly, secretly rejoicing at the fact that as soon as he took hold of him, he'd quieted down,
desperate cries turning into soft, uncomfortable mewls.
"You're a bit sleepy, aren't you?" Kaeya whispered, tracing the baby's cheek with a cool
fingertip. "It's okay. Your mama will bring you to bed soon. Just be a little patient okay?"
The baby's lips curled around nothing. Like he was looking for a nipple to suckle. Then it
grabbed Kaeya's pinky and stuck it in his mouth, suckling on it as Kaeya walked around the
courtyard rocking him back and forth.
"Oh, wow," The lady whispered, looking at the baby over Kaeya's elbow. "I've never seen
you quiet down so quickly. Not even your baba can make you settle this fast."
Kaeya hummed, blinking up at her with a smile. "Klee, my friend's baby sister, was the
same," he said. "She would scream all night long. Albedo was desperate. Then one night he
called me, begging for my help. He was crying, Klee was crying, even his girlfriend Sucrose
was crying. As soon as I picked her up she quieted down."
One of his best memories from back then, was to wake up the next morning to see Albedo on
the couch, with Sucrose tucked under his arm, looking like they'd just arrived from war, but
with the satisfied smile of a restful sleep. He'd often help them after that, spending entire
weeks at their place when they felt a little overwhelmed while juggling raising an infant and
finishing school.
They'd been so young, then, so carefree. Ah, Kaeya really should reconnect with Albedo at
some point. He missed the stoic-faced madman.
His attention focused on the baby again, when a little burp broke past the barrier of his lips.
His eyes blinked in surprise, and he looked up at Kaeya as though asking him if he'd noticed
the sheer audacity.
Fondness swelled within Kaeya's chest, and he had to force his instincts down, further down,
so far down they were never to see the light again. He could not grow attached to the first
baby he held after rejecting his own. He could not. Even if his bright honey eyes and chubby
cheeks were looking up at him with adoration.
Even as those eyes slowly fluttered closed. The baby seemed to feel comfortable there, safe
enough to deem Kaeya a worthy pillow.
"I have never seen him warm up to anyone this quickly," The lady smiled, tenderness in her
eyes. "Must be an omega thing. I wish I could bring you home with me."
"You should take him now," Kaeya told her, handing the baby over to her again before his
instincts made him run away with the child in his arms. "Take him to bed before he wakes up
again. I assume you're here for Lady Ayaka's wedding?"
"Ah, yes. We arrived just this afternoon," She said, taking the baby back and carefully
cradling him the way Kaeya had just a second ago.
"Then I'm sure we'll see each other tomorrow. If your baby gives you trouble again, come
find me. I'd be delighted to help. What is your name, if you don't mind me asking?"
"Ah- Ganyu, sir," she raplied with a gentle blush. "And this little one is Yangmei."
"It's a pleasure to meet you both. I'm-"
"Kaeya!"
He looked back towards the door, his brother's hair was a mess of loose red curls a dopey
smile plastered on his face. "Kaeya! I asked! He said yes!"
He smiled, lazily brushing his hair over his shoulder. "And?"
"I panicked and ran away! I didn't know what to do, next! I didn't plan that far ahead. What
am I supposed to do?"
Kaeya's smile died in his lips. With a quick bow of his head, he said his goodbyes to Ganyu
and her baby, and then stalked after his brother.
"Youre a massive prick," Kaeya sighed, slapping the back of Diluc's head. "Ask your crush
out and then run from him. You suck at this."
"I know! I haven't been in a relationship since I went on that disastrous date with Jean when I
was sixteen. You remember!" Diluc lamented, hiding his face in his hands.
Kaeya didn't remember Diluc going on a date, or anyone named Jean from their teenage
years, but he laughed to himself, eyeing his brother as he drowned in his own awkwardness
while they walked side by side into their shared bedroom. Diluc was still talking about his
non-existent love life when they flopped into Diluc's bed together.
"I really like him."
"I know."
"Is this what love feels like? It's so different from everything I've ever felt, Kae. So different."
Kaeya looked at Diluc, at his bright eyes, at the mess of red hair, at the deep blush on his
cheeks. He felt a pinprick of jealousy before it was swiftly replaced by something else
something softer and sweeter.
Diluc looked happy. He'd been looking progressively happier since Kaeya returned home,
and he suspected that part of it was because he felt like he had a family again, like he hadn't
lost everything after the death of their father. And now, after reuniting with Thoma, Kaeya
suspected that soon, he wouldn't be needed there anymore. Soon, Diluc would pick up his
own heart, so big, so full of love, and hand it over for Thoma to protect.
And then Kaeya would be left without a purpose again.
"Kae?"
He smiled at his brother, and slowly lay his head on Diluc's chest. The rhythmic drumming of
his heart was grounding, steady.
"Will you still love me even if you don't need me?" Kaeya asked, his throat threatening to
close up around the words.
"What are you talking about?" Diluc demanded, his arms wrapping tightly around Kaeya.
"You're my brother. I will never not need you. I will never not love you. Where is this coming
from?"
"We both know that's not true, Luc."
Diluc pushed him off his chest, gently, bit firmly holding Kaeya's shoulders. "Kaeya, what is
this about?"
"People say that they love me, but it's always under their own terms. Always. Mother, father,
you, even Ayato," Kaeya shifted on the bed until he was seating farther away from Diluc.
"What I mean is that I give people something they want, and then when my purpose is
fulfilled, people move on. I'm the only one who can't move on. Ever. No matter how beaten
and bruised I am, I am cursed to love until I break. Mother, father, you, my ma-"
"Kaeya. If you still think that, after everything we've gone through together, especially in the
past few months, then I've been doing a piss-poor job at loving you. And that's not on you.
That's entirely on me." the way Diluc said his name was laced with so much hurt, Kaeya felt
immensely guilty.
This was supposed to be Diluc's happy moment. He'd finally summoned the courage to ask
Thoma out and was basking in the afterglow of that giddiness. And Kaeya had to go and ruin
it all.
"I've done a piss-poor job at accepting your love, too," Kaeya breathed, before getting off
Diluc's bed and lying in his own on the other side of the room. "I'm still learning. Sometimes
it's hard."
"May I ask you something?" Diluc crossed the room to sit on Kaeya's bed, his hand gently
resting over his calf. He was quiet for a moment, his eyes downcast as he processed through
his thoughts and found the right words. "Have you ever been in love, Kaeya? When you
dated Varka-"
"I wasn't dating him. He was a married man, bored with life and his mundane little routine,
and I was young and feeling rebellious. We fucked. That's all that is. We didn't love each
other. Varka was nothing. He was nobody," Kaeya pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a
dry laugh. "He didn't even know how to fuck me right."
Diluc snorted, "He's divorced now."
"Guess his wife realised that she didn't need to keep him around if her fingers did the job
better anyway," Kaeya hummed, a smile curling his lips. Then his expression sobered into
something else, something yearning. "But, yeah. I have been in love. Stars help me, Diluc, I
still am."
"Your baby daddies?" Diluc asked, lacing his fingers with Kaeya and squeezing his hand.
"I've heard you call them your mates before, but you're not marked."
"I still feel bonded to them. I carried their child, lived under their roof, shared their food,
slept in their bed. Diluc, loving them was a sunny day, with a constant threat of a
thunderstorm," Kaeya closed his eyes, his fingers tighneting around Diluc's, drawing energy
and courage from the steadfast presence of his big brother. "But being apart from them- It's
like I'm a tiny boat, adrift in an endless ocean with no anchor keeping me moored, I'm a
compass with no north, desperately seeking a direction to move on to. Every night I dream of
them, of the baby I'm not allowed to call mine; every day I see them in the smallest things - a
pair of chopsticks, an elegant tea set, a lady walking her sleepy baby in the courtyard. They're
everywhere. How can I move on when they're everywhere?"
In an instant, Diluc picked Kaeya up and sat him down on his lap, holding him close to his
chest like he'd done when he was a little kid. Kaeya curled up, grateful for the comfort, and
he sank further into his arms, hiding his face in Diluc's chest and breathing in the gentle scent
of burning wood. It was enough to quiet his thoughts a little, enough to soothe the constant
throbbing ache in his chest. Soothe, but not eliminate. Kaeya knew that he'd always live with
that pain there. He'd accepted it. Welcomed it.
"Kaeya, are you sure you should be accepting Ayato's courtship right now? I can see it brings
you pain. He's not the one you long for," Diluc said, his lips pressed to the crown of Kaeya's
head. "If you talked to him, I am sure he'd understand-"
"He knows," Kaeya sighed. "He knows I can't love him. He knows he can have my body, he
can have my loyalty, but he might never have my heart. He knows. You think it doesn't kill
me? I feel like a fraud, Diluc. Tomorrow at the wedding, he's going to walk around with me,
and people will ask who's that omega Lord Kamisato has on his arm, and by the end of the
day the whole of Inazuma will know that the head of the Yashiro commission is besotted with
the bastard son of a noble from another Nation. I feel sick doing this to him. I am hurting
him, hurting his reputation, because I am desperately hoping that maybe one day I may come
to love him as much as he does me."
And wasn't that cruel? Kaeya felt like laughing at himself. How pathetically desperate for
love was he, if taking advantage of Ayato's feelings hurt so little compared to the thought of
being so utterly alone for the rest of his life? How selfish. How twisted. How very Kaeya.
"Who are they?" Diluc asked, pulling back enough to meet Kaeya's eyes. "Who are these
men, Kaeya?"
"I can't tell you."
"Dont make me go ask Ayato," Diluc threatened.
"You wouldn't," Kaeya said, even though he knew better. Of course Diluc would. To protect
what was dear to him, Diluc would move rivers and flatten mountains. He would wage war
against the world and fight it alone if he thought it was the right thing to do.
"I would. I will. Tell me who they are. Ayato and I have a healthy business partnership, but
I'm not above breaking it if it means getting my answers," Diluc pushed. "This is tearing you
apart and I won't lose you again!"
Kaeya shook his head. "Please. Ask me anything, but don't ask this of me. I'm trying to move
on. I'm trying to hard to forget. Please let it go. Please, Luc. Please."
The silence stretched for so long, Kaeya would have thought Diluc fell asleep. Eventually,
after a deep, resigned sigh, Diluc nodded and he leaned his head down to touch it to Kaeya's
shoulder.
"Okay. I won't," he promised. Then, after a moment, he inhaled deeply. "What's that scent?"
The question was so unexpected, it took Kaeya a moment to fully understand. "What scent?"
"I don't know, I think I've smelled it before," Diluc frowned, his nose following the scent
towards Kaeya's arms. "It's stronger here."
"Oh! There was a lady in the courtyard. Ganyu, I think her name was. She was trying to
soothe her son, but she was having some trouble, so I helped her out," Kaeya informed him.
"Why? What does it smell like?"
"Can't you smell it? It's all over you."
"I'm using scent blockers and suppressants. It affects my sense of smell. Yours is strongest
when you're happy, but it's still very faint. Why? Is it that bad?" Kaeya questioned, bringing
his sleeve to his nose. As expected, he couldn't smell much of it. Just a faint hint of
something floral.
"Not bad at all. It's actually really pleasant. Milky, with a hint of," Diluc pressed his nose to
Kaeya's sleeve again. "Huh."
"What?"
"Orange blossoms."
Chapter End Notes
Thoma and Diluc sitting on a tree. F-a-l-l-i-n-g.
Disgusting (affectionate).
👨❤💋👨 Look at these gays.
Brotherly Duties
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Grand Narukami Shrine was, as the name might have hinted, grand. And with the decorations
hanging from every post, every line, every rooftop, it only made it look grander. Gossamer
fabrics hung from the roof lines, flower baskets lined the staircases, and guests from every
Nation in Teyvat colourfully mingled and reunited with old acquaintances from here and
there and everywhere.
Kaeya's never seen so many people gathered for a single event before. He thought that if he
tried to greet one person every five minutes, he would only be done three days from now, and
what a terrifying thought that was.
It was all a bit too much.
The wedding ceremony had gone without a hitch. Ayaka and Yoimiya were looking
absolutely beautiful in their traditional wedding garbs, one dressed in soft lilacs, representing
the Kamisato clan colours, and the other in bright reds and oranges, mirroring her fiery and
cheerful personality.
They fit together perfectly. It was like they had been tailor-made for each other, much likeWell, their personalities were familiar to Kaeya. Ayaka's gentle and proper demeanour was a
nice balance to Yoimiya's explosive enthusiasm, and Kaeya knew, as soon as they exchanged
their vows, that their marriage would be long and prosperous.
"Aw, man, what a snore. Can't we just skip to the reception, already? I'm starving," A brutishlooking alpha asked somewhere on Kaeya's left. He was tall and muscular and far too
intimidating, but every time he opened his mouth, Kaeya noticed, he often sounded dumb as
a door. Almost adorably so.
"Don't be rude, Itto," the man next to him said, looking far too enamoured by the big brute to
sound anything but fond. He was easily half of this Itto guy's size, the most textbook omega
Kaeya had seen in years. "They still have to sign the paperwork, and then we'll go back for
the reception."
"You're saying that because Guuji Yae hasn't noticed you yet. I bet that if she finds you, you
will be in more of a hurry to leave," said a young woman next to them. She looked like
something out of a fairytale, all delicate features and lovely smiles. She carried in her the
fluid elegance of a mermaid, and the intelligent look of a leader.
"That's Sangonimiya Kokomi," Ayato informed him, his voice quiet on Kaeya's ear even
though the ceremony was already over. "She's the High Priestess of Watatsumi Island.
Incredible strategist, smart as they come."
Kaeya turned his head to face Ayato, his brows marrying into a frown. "I thought they were
hostile? Didn't you say that Watatsumi and the Tenryou Comission were at odds again? That
war might break soon?"
"That's because Kokomi's first general Gorou bonded with one of Tenryou Commission's
most wanted... Criminals," Ayato informed him, motioning his chin towards the couple. "I
say criminal very loosely though. Itto's mostly harmless but he is a known troublemaker.
General Kujou saw their union as a sign of disrespect and defiance towards the Tricommission and the Shogun."
Kaeya hummed in understanding, his head tilting to the side as he observed the Watatsumi
trio. They looked friendly and fun to be around, but he could see how Itto would have a
penchant for trouble. Expecially considering that he didn't seem capable of keeping his mouth
shut, or his voice low.
"Do you really think war might break?" Kaeya asked, his lips pursing in thought. "They seem
pretty chill to me."
"General Kujou takes her duty very seriously. Sometimes a little too seriously, if you ask me.
She's not a bad person and her heart is in the right place, but she will go to the edges of
Teyvat and back to defend the Almighty Shogun and her honour," Ayato sighed. "I have a
plan, but it depends on a multitude of factors that are out of my control. It's tenuous, but it's
all I have."
"Let me know if I can help. I may not know much about politics, but I can learn if push
comes to shove," Kaeya told him, roaming his eyes over the crowd. "Besides, if I'm marrying
you, I'd prefer to feel useful to your clan and Inazuma, rather than to just sit down and watch
life happen around me and look pretty for the landscape."
"Thank you, Kaeya," Ayato smiled, so sweet Kaeya nearly blushed. "I'm glad you have my
back."
He found his brother and Thoma close by, their heads bent together, their lips curled into
broad smiles as they talked to each other. It felt so good to see Diluc happy like that again.
He hadn't seen him smile like that since way before their father passed.
At some point, Thoma had reached out to take Diluc's hand, and Kaeya almost laughed out
loud at his brother's increasingly red face. Oh, he couldn't wait to tease him about it later.
That is, if he didn't die of embarrassment first.
Soon after, the brides came out again, twin smiles on their beautiful faces, their hands
intertwined together as they started guiding the guests down Mt. Yougou while holding paper
lanterns in their hands. According to Ayato, it was a family tradition to guide their family and
friends from the ceremony site to the reception. It was a sign that they'd always be welcome
to seek council, shelter and food. A shining light in a dark storm. A beacon of hospitality.
Kaeya wasn't going to pretend to understand what that was all about, but soon he supposed
he'd be doing the same trip down the same mountain, hand in hand with his future husband
while guiding many of the same guests.
A group of children ran past them as they descended the stone steps down the mountain,
yelling for Yoimiya to make it boom - whatever that meant. Being as close as Kaeya and
Ayato were, he could hear Yoimiya's answer between laughs.
"Later. You'll have to be patient. I'll make it boom so loud you'll never forget it!"
It was only as they were arriving to the estate that Kaeya remembered that Yoimiya was the
heiress to a fireworks company. If he recalled correctly, the invitation did state that they were
going to put on a fireworks show later that night.
He hadn't seen one since he was a kid. It wasn't something that was often practiced in
Mondstadt after all, and though Kaeya had been in Liyue during the last Lantern Rite festival,
he'd felt too tired and too pregnant to leave his nest at the time.
Excitement started to tingle in his chest as anticipation settled in.
"Dinner will be served in twenty minutes. In the meantime, feel free to mingle," Ayato told
him, kissing Kaeya's forehead and disappearing into the crowd.
He didn't mingle, however. He took his place at the family table next to Ayato's vacant seat
and watched the people as they arrived and settled into their own places.
Live music played softly from the small stage on the other side of the courtyard, a gentle tune
that was vaguely familiar to him. He was sure he'd heard Ayaka sing it under her breath in
several occasions when she was too distracted to keep her quiet demeanour.
Thoma and Diluc joined them at the family table soon after, though they seemed to be so
intertwined in one another they hardly acknowledged Kaeya's presence. It was amusing to
witness, their faces so bright and open, their eyes so hopeful as they got reacquainted with
each other.
And then the Watstsumi trio arrived, Itto immediately grabbing his mate by the waist and
dragging him to the dance floor while Kokomi seemed torn between stopping them for the
sake of courtesy, and laughing because truly the sight was hilarious.
"Ya gotta shake your hips like that, see? Nah, you're doing it all wrong. Like that!" Itto was
trying to instruct, but every time he demonstrated the move, he did something entirely
different than the previous round, rendering his mate quite lost and confused. "Babe, I love
you but you suck at this."
Chuckling to himself, he leaned his head on his hand, and accepted the glass of wine that a
waiter offered to him as he passed by. He lazily sipped the wine, immediately recognising the
taste. So that was the business that Ayato had to discuss with Diluc during his visit to Mond,
huh? It was smart, really, to choose Dawn Winery as the provider for the wine on his sister's
wedding. Ultimately, for Diluc, this was a good chance to publicise for a new international
audience where enough important representatives of other nations would be present to taste
it.
Kaeya looked briefly at his brother. He'd truly done well for himself after their father's death,
hadn't he? He'd taken an already massive business and expanded it beyond measure. He'd
created new alliances and strengthed old bonds and according to anyone who'd give Elzer the
chance to brag, Dawn Winery was reaching a new era of prosperity, and it was all thanks to
his brother's dedication.
Diluc would be fine without him. It brought Kaeya some peace of mind to know that when he
moved to Inazuma, his brother wouldn't feel adrift. Especially now that he had Thoma to look
after him.
"You look pensive," Ayato said, taking his seat next to Kaeya only seconds before they
started serving the food. "Care to share your thoughts?"
"The wine is delicious," Kaeya commented, leaning back on his chair.
"I can give you my supplier's contacts, but something tells me you have an unlimited supply
of these very bottles at your disposal already," Ayato pointed out, humour in his eyes.
"I wish. Diluc has cut my allowance down to two bottles a day," Kaeya pouted. The waiter
lifted the silver lid on his plate and he looked down, ready to dig in. However... "What am I
looking at?"
On his plate was a jewellery box, deep royal blue and velvety. A cold chill ran down his spine
as he looked back up at Ayato. Surely he wasn't thinking about proposing to Kaeya during his
sister's wedding. They hadn't even discussed it yet. Kaeya wasn't ready. It was too soon, far
too soon"Open it," Ayato urged, his smile a little shy. "I promise it's not what it looks like, there's no
need for you to look so alarmed."
With no small amount of hesitation, Kaeya reached for the box and flipped the little
fastening, before opening it. Inside, there was, well, something. Kaeya wasn't entirely sure
what it was, but it was beautiful, made with delicate golden chains that intersected at the
centre, held together by a four-pointed star made of what looked like noctilucous jade.
Kaeya's fingers lifted up to his ear, and ran along his earring - the only piece of jewellery he
wore, the gift Zhongli had especially designed and made for him.
"Ayato, this is... I can't-"
"It's a hairpiece," Ayato told him, picking up the hair chains and running his thumb along the
centre jewel. "I meant to give it to you earlier in our courtship, but there was a delay with the
delivery. It would make me incredibly happy if you would wear it today."
Kaeya blinked at the beautiful piece in Ayato's careful hands and felt, not for the first time,
like something so precious was wasted on him. Still, the hopeful look in Ayato's face was
enough to make him crumble, and Kaeya turned around, so he could decorate his hair.
His hairstyle needed a little rearranging, the low, intricate bun he'd chosen to wear was in the
way, so he quickly undid it and weaved his hair into a long braid, the very tip of it touching
his lower back. After securing it, Ayato clasped the little clips onto his hair and even without
seeing the results, Kaeya knew he was looking not unlike an elven prince from the fairy tales
Crepus would read to him and Diluc when they were children.
With a small smile, he gently touched the piece, running his fingers along the slender chains.
And then, he felt Ayato's lips, soft and warm and so light against the back of his neck.
"Thank you," Kaeya breathed, turning back around so he could face Ayato again. He could
feel the warmth in his cheeks, the little flutter in his chest that told him everything would be
okay.
"It looks even better than I'd envisioned," Ayato held onto Kaeya's hand and kissed his
knuckles, his lips lingering there for a moment, like he was too afraid of letting go. "Have
you seen the envelope?"
A little frown pinched his brows together, and he picked up the envelope from the box. There
was a small folded paper with his name inked in an elegant script. Kaeya licked his lips, and
his frown deepened at the words there.
'Something to remember me by. Wear it fondly.
-Ayato.'
It didn't feel right, this note. It felt a little too solemn, too forlorn. It felt like a goodbye.
Which was, of course, absurd. Maybe he had been so used to the worst case scenario, that he
truly wasn't able to see a kind and sweet gesture and just take it for what it was anymore.
Kaeya looked up again, but someone, a guest from Natlan if he had to guess, had already
stolen Ayato's attention. So Kaeya folded the paper again, and slid the envelope into his
corset, his sleeves too wide and too sheer to comfortably conceal anything. He had to
remember to put it somewhere safe later when he returned to his bedroom after the party.
While Ayato was distracted entertaining guests, Kaeya looked around the room as the guests
savoured their meals. Kaeya's own meal had arrived shortly after his gift and had been sitting
untouched for a few minutes.
Movement from the other side of the courtyard caught his attention, and he looked over to
see Ganyu rocking a crying Yangmei. She looked very tired, like she'd been up all night,
probably tending to her son's demanding whims. He felt for her, and pondered leaving his
seat to offer his help, but when their eyes met she simply averted her gaze and walked away.
Weird.
Could she possibly be feeling embarrassed for not being able to soothe her son? Kaeya
couldn't pretend to begin to understand the struggles of parenthood. All he had done was birth
his child, after all. Though, he supposed that if he wasn't able to quiet down his son in public,
especially during such a formal event, he'd be feeling quite mortified as well.
That was likely it. As a first time mother it must be unsettling, that her efforts were being met
with resistence from her child. Kaeya smiled secretly to himself. Had Zhongli and Ajax had
similar troubles with their baby, too? He tried imagining Ajax singing the baby to sleep, his
hair a mess, his eyes red and tired, but his smile still on his lips, beautiful and a little
disbelieving that he was finally holding the baby he'd wanted so much. He tried imagining
Zhongli changing the baby's nappy, he'd be undoubtedly tricked by Ajax to do it, too. He'd be
so careful and gentle not to accidentally hurt his little chubby legs, being very methodical and
precise with his movements, to make sure the baby wouldn't be uncomfortable or risk any
leaks.
It hurt a little less, Kaeya realised as he ate his dinner. Thinking about them hurt just a little
less than yesterday, and just a little more than it would hurt tomorrow. He still missed them
with every cell of his body, but knowing they were happy, knowing they were living their life
as a family helped him find some peace. They deserved their happiness.
"You've been quiet," Ayato said, his lips curving into a small smile. "Is everything all right?"
"I'm just in an introspective mood. I'm feeling surprisingly relaxed today. I guess the festive
atmosphere has rubbed off on me a little. That, or the wine is finally getting to me," Kaeya
smiled, glancing at the seat next to him, only to notice that Diluc and Thoma had
disappeared. "Where..."
"If I'm going to wager, I'd say they're making out somewhere," Ayato grinned, holding
Kaeya's hand.
Making out, huh? Kaeya frowned. Weren't they moving too fast? Sure they'd known each
other since their childhood days, but Kaeya wouldn't forget the way Thoma had broken his
brother's heart before, how sad Diluc had been, how he'd blamed himself for scaring Thoma
away, how even years later he hadn't been able to look at anyone quite like he had once
looked at their childhood friend. Besides they weren't even officially courting - whether Diluc
thought it was needed or not wasn't the point.
Kaeya's eyes narrowed and he stood up. "Seems I have to go do my brotherly duties."
"Are you going to give Thoma the shovel talk?" Ayato laughed, his cheeks flushing. "I
wonder if I should have done that to Yoimiya."
"I reckon it's not going to be necessary. Yoimiya is a good girl, with a good head on her
shoulders. Thoma, on the other side, has fucked up before. I just want to make sure he knows
not to fuck up again," Kaeya looked at Ayato, a deceivingly sweet smile on his lips. "You
know?"
Blinking, Ayato shifted a little on his seat, his eyes roaming over Kaeya with a new glint of,
what, interest perhaps? "That's... Oh, I do regret that I have to stay and mingle with the
guests, otherwise I'd love to be present to see it. If what I witnessed in Liyue is anything to go
by, I would be worried if I were Thoma."
Laughter burst from his lips. "You thought I was being threatening back then? That's cute."
Kaeya brushed invisible crumbs from his trousers and moved away from main table.
If his hips swayed a little more than usual under the weight of Ayato's gaze, then that was just
between the two of them.
For now, he had to find Thoma and make sure he wouldn't break Diluc's heart again. Kaeya
hadn't lived through hell without learning a thing or ten. And he would put every single one
of them to good use if he had to. He just had to find him first, and among the endless gaggle
of guests attending the reception, Kaeya could waste his entire afternoon doing just that.
Luckily, because the stars felt like blessing him for once, he found them fairly quickly,
standing by the small shrine, so close together it was virtually impossible to know where one
ended and the other started. Thoma laughed into Diluc's neck, before looking up. Their eyes
met over his brother's shoulder, and Kaeya folded his arms over his chest, gaze unwavering,
eyes narrowed, brows furrowed.
Sensing Kaeya's display of animosity, Thoma quickly pushed himself away from Diluc, his
cheeks red and his eyes wildly trying to find some place to look that wasn't directly at either
of the brothers. Diluc looked over his shoulder to find Kaeya standing there, and he beckoned
him with his hand.
"Kae, is everything all right?"
"Mn," Kaeya grinned as he approached the couple (was that what they were now?), his
demeanour considerably less hostile now that his brother had focused his attention on him.
"Everything's fine. I just needed a breather."
"I feel you," Thoma looked over at the main area, where the guests were beginning to take to
the dance floor. "It gets a bit overwhelming, all those people."
Kaeya eyed Thoma for a moment his expression blank. And, oh, it felt good to see him
squirm under his scrutiny. Perhaps Kaeya was a little sadist after all.
"Say, Diluc, I am feeling quite parched. Would you mind getting us some drinks?" Kaeya
said, his eyes still on Thoma.
"Wine?" Diluc asked, clapping Kaeya on the shoulder. After a small nod he walked off,
glancing briefly back at them before disappearing among the crowd.
"So! Um... We- I mean, I-"
"Thoma," Kaeya hummed, his eyes raking over his figure once again, this time taking notice
of the way he was dressed up. He looked nice, dressed in a formal kimono, his hair up in a
bun. Upon closer inspection he did notice the red of his lips, the forming bruise on his neck Ayato had been right. "Did you know that when omegas attack, they go for the weakest
spots? The throat, mostly. You see, when an alpha attacks, they attack to incapacitate, to hurt,
to show dominance, to send a message. When an omega attacks, they attack to kill. Our
survival and safety depends on it."
He noticed with some satisfaction the way Thoma's Adam's apple bobbed in his throat as he
swallowed dryly.
"That's... Er... Interesting— Oh..."
He slid a hand up Thoma's chest, his fingers lightly wrapping around his throat, his thumb
pressing against the throbbing pulse point beneath his touch, against the red bruise left behind
by his brother's starving lips. "I loathe wasting my time with trivial matters, but I feel like this
must be done, so I'll do us both a favour, and I'll be brief. If you ever dare to break his heart
again, just know that I've killed before and not only did I get away with it, I would have no
qualms with doing it again."
Thoma sighed in relief, laughing at Kaeya's words, clearly believing his friend was bluffing.
When he saw that Kaeya wasn't laughing with him, his expression sobered again, something
akin to unease flashed across his face.
"You're not serious, are you?"
The smile on Kaeya's lips carried the likeness of a fox, lacking all the humour, and promising
all the pain. He leaned closer to him, his lips so close to Thoma's ear they almost brushed
against his skin. "Do you want to find out?"
"I- No. No, I really don't. Thank you for the offer," Thoma stepped back, away from Kaeya,
his green eyes wide and satisfyingly alarmed.
Good.
Kaeya's hand dropped from Thomas's throat and came to rest upon the curve of his waist, his
fingernails tugging lightly at the seams of his corset. "Now with that out of the way," He
smiled, more genuinely this time, the threatening aura dissipating just enough for his
shoulders to relax. "He likes it when you play with his hair. Try it out sometime, he becomes
putty in your hands."
Thoma was still looking a little pale, a little flushed and entirely confused, but he nodded, his
fingers nervously playing with the silk obi around his waist. "I see. Anything else?"
"Prepare well for his ruts. I know you've fucked my betrothed before, but I'm inclined to
believe that you haven't helped him with his ruts. I'm not joking when I say that preparation
may be life saving. Betas aren't equipped to take an alpha knot. It's best if you—"
"Fucking- Okay, Kaeya! Okay! I get it!" Thoma squeaked, flushing so bright Kaeya worried
for his well-being. "I think... I think I'm going to go be somewhere else. Anywhere else."
Kaeya laughed quietly to himself as Thoma bolted away, undoubtedly on his way to search
for Diluc and probably tell him all about how his little brother was a psychopath. As he
vanished from his line of sight, Kaeya turned back towards the infinite view of the sea, Seirai
Island in the distance a purple thundering beacon marring the peaceful landscape.
The party was in full swing, now, people finished with their meals reunited with friends and
acquaintances for another round of idle chit-chat, and Kaeya allowed the background noise to
wash over him as the wind picked up, curling around his body like a cool blanket in the dying
afternoon. He felt his braid jostle against the naked skin of his back where the fabric of his
shirt parted into a deep winow.
Footsteps approached from behind him.
"Ajax was right, you know?" His voice was a deep rumble like a distant earthquake. Kaeya
would know it if it had been whispered in a room full of people. He would know it with his
ears, he would know it with his heart. "You become unbearably attractive when you're
threatening. I'm not sure what that says about him, or me for that matter."
Kaeya stiffened, turning around to face him. Words evaded him, his voice lost to the void.
Zhongli smiled, small and timid. "I thought I'd never see you again."
Chapter End Notes
I'll just drop this here.
Also if you're not following me on twt @momosagii, you're missing out on absolutely
nothing, my twt experience has been... Something. No filter Momo is a riot, and I don't
know her 😒
Also, I am aware of the Zhongchaeya vs Kaeyato dilemma many of you are going
through right now. I will not apologise for disappointing you when your favourite
pairing ends up not being the one you'd been hoping for. I feel like I must stay faithful to
my creativity. I can't please everyone no matter how hard I try. I can only try to make the
blow less painful by attempting to deliver in terms of writing, which...
I'll try fam,
but English hard.
😬
♥
Trust Me
Chapter Notes
🤗
Huge massive juicy thank you to @temporalsilence on twt for agreeing to be my beta.
They're never leaving my basement.
That said, any remaining mistakes and inconsistencies are entirely my own.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Kaeya's eyes fluttered closed, his hand reaching blindly towards the railing so he could feel
tethered. Surely his mind was playing tricks on him again. Surely Zhongli was an illusion, a
desperate attempt his brain conjured to see the man he loved after missing him for so long.
He felt dizzy, almost sick with an emotion he wasn't sure he wanted to feel.
"You're not real," Kaeya reasoned, his knees weak. He leaned his hips against the railing for
extra support. "You can't be."
"Why not?" Zhongli asked, careful, his voice closer than Kaeya had expected, but he still
fought the urge to open his eyes again.
"Because the last few times you weren't real either. I know what's going to happen. It always
happens the same way," Kaeya sighed, his knuckles turning almost white with how hard he
was holding himself up. "I see you everywhere, but when I look again, you're never there."
"Not this time, Kaeya," Zhongli promised, Kaeya could swear he could feel Zhongli's body
heat, the gentle scent of earth piercing through the layers of his suppressants. "I won't go
anywhere. I promise."
His entire body shuddered violently when he felt Zhongli's touch on his cheek, his large hand
so careful, a feather-light breeze on his skin, almost not there at all. Kaeya nearly fell to his
knees, the tightness in his chest twisting at the familiarity.
"Please look at me," Zhongli asked, his thumb grazing the salience of Kaeya's cheekbone.
And because Kaeya was desperate and so, so in love, he did, he opened his eyes and stared
hopefully up at the other man, his lower lip trembling as he fought the waterworks.
"Hi," Zhongli greeted again, his eyes wildly roaming Kaeya's face, as though he was trying
his best to commit every detail, every eyelash, every freckle to his memory. "You look even
more stunning than I remember."
He was real, after all. He was real and he was right there, so close he could touch him, smell
him, feel him, and-
And really, why hadn't Kaeya considered that option before? Why hadn't he considered the
very likely possibility of meeting them again at the wedding? Ayato knew Ajax and Zhongli,
and they treated each other like friends, they were business partners, they had shared meals
before, not inviting Zhongli would likely be seen as a slight towards the entire Nation of
Liyue.
"Kaeya!"
To hear his name in such an urgent tone startled Kaeya so much he nearly fell backwards, his
head swiveling to see his brother speed-walking towards them, his brows knit into a deep
frown.
It brought Kaeya back to the present. He wasn't in Liyue, in the private safety of Zhongli's
penthouse. He was in Inazuma, attending a wedding, on his betrothed's property, under
dozens of curious gazes. He jumped away from Zhongli, his heart in his throat as he
remembered himself and what their proximity might have been interpreted as.
Every fibre in his body urged him to close the distance between them again, to hug Zhongli
so tight they'd fuse together. To bury his face into his neck and chase his scent until he was
drunk with want.
Thankfully, Diluc stepped between the both of them, making it physically impossible for
Kaeya to embarrass himself even further. His brother's glare deepened as Zhongli, too, took a
step back.
"Is there anything we can help you with?" Diluc asked, standing to his full height, even
though he was a little shorter than the other alpha. "Zhongli?"
"I would like to speak to Kaeya," Zhongli said, his tone level and professional, as though
trying to soothe a wild beast. It seemed that Zhongli was very aware of who Diluc was and
his connection to Kaeya, which in all honesty didn't surprise him that much. Thoma hadn't
exactly been very subtle during their visit to Liyue. "If he would allow me to."
Diluc looked down at Zhongli, and then at Kaeya, his calloused fingers brushing the little
flyaways of his hair away from his face. The way Kaeya leaned into the touch seemed to
appease him somewhat, and when he turned back to face Zhongli again, he looked less like
he wanted to murder him, and more like he'd be content to just break a leg or two.
"Knowing you, I would have thought you'd have the decency to know what is and isn't
proper," Diluc said, his arm wrapping around Kaeya's waist. "You're a married alpha and my
brother is an unmated omega who's currently being courted by our host. What could you
possibly have to discuss with him?"
At the words, Zhongli's eyes widened slightly, and he stared at Kaeya like he was seeing him
for the first time. What was going through his head, Kaeya could only speculate, but the way
his shoulders had dropped, like he had been dealt an unexpected blow, like hope itself was
fading from his grasp, it spoke volumes.
"We parted ways on bad terms. I don't want-" Zhongli cut himself off, his hand pinching the
bridge of his nose, as he often did when he was troubled. "Ajax misses you. I miss you. We
have to talk about what happened, Kaeya. Please."
Kaeya could practically see the wheels turning in Diluc's head as he pieced the puzzle
together. When understanding dawned on him, Kaeya had to hold him back to keep him from
physically assaulting Zhongli. All pretence of propriety had been flung into oblivion in
favour of obtaining revenge for Kaeya's sake.
"You pig. You're the one who got him pregnant, aren't you? You're the one who made him
carry a baby to term and took it from him. You're the one who left him to fucking die in a
dirty train station in the middle of ass-fuck nowhere! I nearly lost him because of you! And
you want to talk? You can go fuck yourself right off before I throw you off this cliff myself!"
"Luc, calm down!" Kaeya urged, his hands pressing hard against his brother's shoulders to
keep him still. "Please, don't make a scene, we're at a wedding!"
"I don't care! I damn near fucking watched you die after you came home because of what that
bastard did to you!" Diluc protested, his voice rising. Some of the guests turned to look at
them as the argument escalated.
Kaeya glanced briefly over his shoulder to look at Zhongli. He looked impossibly pale, his
eyes far too bright, far too wet with emotions Kaeya couldn't possibly hope to understand
while trying to keep his brother from committing a homicide during his future sister-in-law's
wedding. What a mess this was becoming.
"You have it all wrong," Kaeya tugged at the lapels of Diluc's elegant red suit, hard enough to
force his brother's eyes to focus on him instead. "They never kicked me out. I chose to leave!
I put myself in that position! Not them!"
Diluc paused, the intensity of his coral eyes as they searched Kaeya's face for any hint of
dishonesty almost made him shrink back. He hadn't seen his brother look that angry in a very,
very long time. Still, whatever Diluc found seemed to have appeased him enough for him to
stop struggling against Kaeya's hold.
"Maybe we should take this somewhere else," Zhongli suggested, looking over at the few
guests who had become a little too interested in the three of them. "Perhaps we can go
outside, far from prying ears."
Diluc narrowed his eyes but understood that this was not the place nor the time for a scandal.
If things escalated, it would involve at least three different nations, and Kaeya would be at its
epicentre. The last thing any of them wanted was to deal with the consequences of that mess.
So Diluc took Kaeya's hand and led the way out through the gates of the Kamisato Estate,
past the security that stood watch outside, and towards the outskirts of Chinju forest.
Zhongli had been following close behind, keeping enough distance from them to not provoke
Diluc's ire, but not walking so far that Kaeya couldn't feel his presence at all. After six
months, it baffled him how attuned to Zhongli's presence he still was, like a sunflower,
always aware of his sun.
They stopped at a clearing, green and bright and filled with small flowers that swayed gently
in the wind.
"I'm listening," said Diluc, looking from Kaeya to Zhongli, waiting for one of them to speak
up. "And you better not lie to me, or I swear it won't be fun for anyone involved."
"When do I ever?" Kaeya asked, looking down at his feet. "There's not much to it, really.
Zhongli and Ajax were looking for a surrogate, and I agreed to carry for them. Then I had the
baby, and I left."
"That's the extremely abridged version," Zhongli sighed, his hands clasped behind his back.
"We didn't exactly part on the friendliest of terms. I believe that there was a lot of
miscommunication, a lot of misunderstandings that would have avoided this situation, had we
had the emotional maturity at the time to talk things through." he looked up meeting Kaeya's
eyes. "Ajax has been blaming himself every day since we realised you'd left."
"What happened?" asked Diluc, instinctively stepping closer to his brother. "Kaeya-"
"I rejected the baby when he was born," Kaeya said, the burning pain in his chest flaring as
the wound reopened. "I wouldn't even look at him. I knew that if I did I wouldn't be able to
leave him. I'd carried him inside me for so long, Diluc. How could I not love him, when he
was a part of me? But I couldn't- I had nothing good to offer him. And Ajax didn't take my
rejection well."
"It was more than that," Zhongli took a couple of steps closer to Kaeya, he looked so tired,
like he had aged in the few months since he had seen him last. "He thought that by rejecting
the baby, everything we've lived through, every moment we spent together during your
pregnancy, had meant nothing to you. He felt like you truly had only done all of it for the
money. We were so attached to you by the time the baby was born, Kaeya. You were not just
our surrogate, you'd become part of the family. Rejecting the baby, rejecting us the way you
did... It broke something in him. In both of us."
Diluc took a step forward to firmly place himself between Zhongli and Kaeya again.
Knowing him, Kaeya knew he was ready to give Zhongli the scolding of his life. So he held
his hand and tugged him lightly.
"Luc, can you give us a moment?"
"Absolutely not."
"Please," Kaeya asked, turning towards his brother and bringing their foreheads together.
"This is one of those things I need to do alone. I promise I'll be fine. Trust me."
"It's not you, I don't trust," Diluc glared up at Zhongli again, and Kaeya almost wanted to
laugh. He was so fiercely protective it was endearing. "What if something happens?"
"I will kick him so hard in the nuts, they'll fly off his nostrils," Kaeya promised, kissing his
brother's cheek. "If there's anything I know about Zhongli is that he's a gentleman first and
foremost. He wouldn't do anything unsavoury without my explicit consent. Rest assured."
It took a while for Diluc to calm down enough to leave, and even when he did, he kept
glancing back every few steps, as though he was considering walking right back and decking
Zhongli in the jaw for good measure. But ultimately he decided to place his faith in Kaeya
and trust his word, and soon he was gone.
The silence stretched in the space between them as they just stood there, looking at each
other, neither quite knowing what to say, how to start to fix the mess they'd made.
Zhongli spoke first.
"Congratulations on your betrothal," he said, sounding as insincere as he probably felt.
Not knowing how to respond to that, Kaeya shifted from foot to foot, feeling somehow more
lost than he had in a long time. Subconsciously, he started running his hand over his arm,
trying to rub some heat into his body, trying to give himself something else to focus on.
"How... How's..." Kaeya tried to suck in a deep breath, but the words were still not coming to
him. "I..."
"Ajax is in Snezhnaya," Zhongli said, his tone oddly clinical. "I don't know for sure how long
he's going to stay there, but..." he trailed off. The tension between them was almost palpable.
"We have decided to take some time apart for a little while."
Kaeya's heart ached so much. Ajax's and Zhongli's love had been inspirational, something
he'd one day hope to experience himself. To know that things were bad to the point where
they've decided to stay away from each other, well, it hurt in ways Kaeya couldn't
comprehend.
"Things have been- Ajax is not doing so well. We've been fighting a lot and- Ever since you
left he-" Zhongli shrugged, helplessly, looking like he was trying to keep a house of cards
from falling apart in a storm with nothing but sheer willpower.
"Zhongli," Kaeya swallowed dryly, unsure of what to say, of what to do.
"The baby is healthy, but he cries constantly. He's our son, and we love him so much, but it
seems that no matter what we do, he's never happy. We try so hard, all of the time. Ajax
wouldn't hold him anymore because he felt like he made it worse. He felt like the baby was
rejecting him when he tried to hold him, you know? Because he's not biologically his,"
Zhongli's voice broke as he looked away from Kaeya, his gaze wandering towards the
shifting clouds up above. "I don't know what to do. Our son hates us, my husband is on the
brink of becoming feral, and I'm spread so thin I feel like I'm in constant danger of tearing
apart at the slightest breeze."
Zhongli leaned back against a large rock, his head downcast. He looked like he'd been
bursting at the seams, and in dire need of a hug. Maybe it wouldn't mean much coming from
Kaeya, but he stopped fighting the urge to hold him, and in three large steps he was in front
of Zhongli, his arms wrapping around his broad shoulders and pulling him in close, into the
safe harbour of his embrace.
He'd never seen Zhongli look that lost. He'd never even thought he was able to portray any
image apart from calm and confident. Every time he spoke he seemed to know the secrets of
the universe. To see him stumbling over his words, to see him speechless at all, it was so
alien, so out of character, he could only imagine the turmoil rampaging in his heart.
"It's okay, Li. I've got you," Kaeya said, one of his hands cradling the back of Zhongli's head
as the alpha fell apart on his shoulder, the damp spot where his tears soaked into the soft
fabric of Kaeya's sleeve an unwelcome parallel to all the times Zhongli and Ajax allowed
Kaeya to cry on them during the months they'd lived together.
Zhongli was sobbing, open and desperate and so impossibly sad that Kaeya felt himself
choking up. Instead, he swallowed down his own emotion. He needed to be strong for
Zhongli, to give him the affection and the reassurance he so clearly needed. He needed to
protect his heart, to allow him to feel all the overwhelming emotions he'd been holding back
in favour of keeping his family together.
Softly, Kaeya carded his fingers through the long tresses of Zhongli's hair, his lips pressing to
his damp temple. Here, away from prying eyes, away from the scrutiny of the wedding
guests, Kaeya allowed himself to love him, even if just briefly.
He wasn't sure how long they'd stayed like that, holding onto each other like the world would
end should they separate. Eventually, Zhongli calmed down and pulled back just enough to
press his sleeves to his cheeks. Seeing this, Kaeya pulled a handkerchief from inside his
corset and carefully dabbed it over the tear tracks on Zhongli's face.
"That felt nice," the alpha said, sucking in a deep breath, his hand lightly curling around
Kaeya's wrist. "Thank you."
"Don't thank me," Kaeya smiled, the knot in his chest coming loose the longer he spent by his
side. "We all need someone to hold us sometimes, right? Someone to ground us. Someone to
keep us up when we can't do it ourselves. You and Ajax taught me that."
Zhongli nodded and took a small step back to gather his thoughts again. "I have missed you
so much. Morax's horns, Kaeya, nothing feels the same without you."
"Don't say that," Kaeya told him, the memories of their days together curling warm and
lovely in his heart. "Staying would have hurt too much. As soon as your baby was born, I had
to leave. You know I had to leave-"
"Did you, though? Were you not happy? Were we not enough? I know we weren't completely
honest with you, especially about my lineage and my marriage to Guizhong. And I
understand, now, why it hurt you so much. But... I thought- We both thought that after
everything we've been through together, that we'd come to mean more to you, that we
deserved better than you just..."
Leaving without saying goodbye, Zhongli didn't say, but the implication was there. Kaeya
shook his head. In the months that followed the birth of the baby, Kaeya knew that he'd been
rash and impulsive the night he left Liyue. He'd been so scared, so hurt, so lost and confused,
he'd made all the wrong decisions. But in a way, Kaeya still felt like he had done the right
thing.
Had he stayed, he wouldn't have repaired his relationship with his brother, he would never
have found out about who his father truly was, and he would never have admitted to himself
that he'd been chasing a dead woman's dream for most of his life, in hopes to someday
making her proud, even though she wouldn't be there to witness it. He finally got the
professional help he'd needed so bad, help that he might have never gotten should he have
remained in Liyue with Ajax and Zhongli.
He'd learned that love wasn't a cure-all, that he needed to love himself first, to then be able to
fully love others, after. That was still a work in progress, but he knew he was doing better. He
was starting to see the value in himself as an individual.
At the same time, he'd deprived himself of watching his baby grow for the first few months
of his life. And those were months he would never get back, if he ever had the chance to meet
with him again one day.
A thin whistle broke through the early night lull, followed by an explosion of colour that
spread across the sky. Kaeya felt it resonating within his chest, and though the fireworks were
a magical show up above, their light reflecting on the calm surface of the ocean below, when
he glanced at Zhongli, he found that he could not look away. Nor did he want to. So he didn't.
He watched as the fireworks painted his features in technicolour, the sparks reflected in his
eyes.
Kaeya felt himself shift closer as he unabashedly observed him, his small smile, the way his
hair swayed in the breeze, the way his eyelashes touched his cheekbones every time he
blinked. It was like he was breathing for the first time, taking a moment to stop and let the
world spin around him without a deadline pushing him toward action.
Zhongli turned to face him, then, his look softening as he cradled Kaeya's face, the cool band
of his wedding ring on his skin making him shudder.
And like a magnetic force was pulling them together, the small space between them
disappeared, and their lips brushed lightly, not quite a kiss, but a promise.
It wasn't enough, though. It was never enough. Kaeya sighed, quietly pressing himself just a
little closer, turning the light touch into a firm press of their lips, his arms wrapping around
Zhongli's neck as he kissed him properly.
He felt the playful prod of a tongue running across the seam of his mouth and he gladly
accepted it, deepening the kiss, a shiver snaking down his spine when Zhongli relaxed into
him again, a deep rumbling groan resounding within his chest. Zhongli kissed like a man
starved, urgently claiming Kaeya's mouth like was afraid he'd wake up to find him gone.
It was perfect, and everything Kaeya had dreamed of, and then Zhongli's hand was tracing
down the naked sin on his back and holding onto the curve of his waist, pressing him closer,
and"Zhongli, sir! There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you!"
Immediately, Kaeya pulled away from Zhongli, his cheeks flushing bright as he realised just
how lost in each other they'd become. Clearing his throat he looked in the direction of the
newcomer. Her voice was familiar and when Kaeya looked, he saw Ganyu walking towards
them, Yangmei quietly sleeping in her arms. When she recognised Kaeya her eyes widened.
"Hello, again."
"Mister Kaeya. Hello," she greeted with a broad smile. If she'd noticed their indiscretion, she
wasn't saying anything about it. Whether that was good or bad, Kaeya couldn't guess.
"You two know each other?" he asked, glancing between her and Zhongli, as Ganyu carefully
handed Yangmei over for Zhongli to hold, her arms falling to her sides, clearly relieved after
holding him for so long.
Zhongli's hold was firm and practised, his eyes showing so much love, Kaeya felt his little
fragile heart fluttering at the sight.
"Ganyu is my assistant. Usually, she helps me at the office, but lately, she's been helping me
hold the fort while Ajax is away. I don't know where I'd be without her."
Like the merciless strike of lightning in a thunderstorm, realisation dawned on him. Ganyu
was talking, saying something about Zhongli flattering her and how it was no trouble, but
Kaeya's attention was fully on the tiny boy cradled so lovingly in Zhongli's arms, so small
and sweet and his. His baby. His Yangmei. His sweet baby boy with the honey eyes.
Orange blossoms, Diluc had said. Kaeya should have known, then. He should have known
he'd been holding his baby. It had felt so right, so perfect, he'd fit so comfortably in his hold.
"Oh-" he gasped, his fingers hesitantly reaching towards his little boy before he stopped
himself. He couldn't. By the stars his son was right there, so close, so small and beautiful and
yet so distant. He felt sick, every instinct in his body urging him to hold the child he'd carried
for nine long months, for the child he'd mourned and loved and longed for.
The conversation between Zhongli and Ganyu trailed off into nothing as Kaeya struggled to
keep himself in check. His heart was hammering urgently in his chest, yearning, desperate.
"Kaeya," Zhongli called, stepping forward as Kaeya took a step back. "Will you hold him?"
Yes.
Yes, please.
A thousand times, yes.
"I can't," Kaeya sniffed, shaking his head. "I can't. I can't. I can't."
"Sweetheart," Zhongli called, his eyes searching Kaeya's face as he stepped closer again.
"Hold our son."
"Not mine." Kaeya had to force out the words because his chest was so tight, breathing was
proving to be a challenge in itself. "Never mine."
"He's as much yours as he is mine and Ajax's," Zhongli insisted, sounding more than a little
upset. "You carried him. You gave him life. You protected him. You loved him as much as we
did. You're as much his Luna as I am his Baba and Ajax is his Batya. Please, Kaeya. Hold our
baby."
His Luna.
Kaeya blinked up with tears in his eyes. He hadn't heard that word in years, since way before
his mother - his luna had died. The Khaenri'ahn way to address an omega parent, the title
bestowed upon the birth of their first child. There was a whole ceremony about it, too, the
details of which Kaeya had never learned.
But here Zhongli was, bestowing the title on him like Kaeya deserved that honour.
Sucking in a deep, steadying breath, Kaeya reached out to take Yangmei from Zhongli's arms.
Practice met instinct again, and this time when the baby shifted in his arms and squirmed
until his bright honey eyes fluttered open, Kaeya didn't feel like it was wrong to fall a little
more in love with him. It was his baby to love, after all. Why not allow his heart to rejoice in
finally being close to his baby?
Yangmei was blinking up at Kaeya, sleepy but curious, his tiny hands grasping his shirt.
"Hi," Kaeya smiled, a gentle finger caressing the soft skin of his chubby cheek. "I heard
you're giving your fathers a hard time. Keeping them on their toes?"
Yangmei let out a little gurgle, followed by a big, toothless smile and he turned his head to
mouth at Kaeya's chest, searching for a source of nourishment that had long since gone dry.
Yet another thing Kaeya wouldn't be able to experience.
"Sorry, little love. There's nothing there for you anymore," he breathed.
"Maybe if you give him a sibling soon," Ganyu suggested, bringing Kaeya's attention back to
her. He'd forgotten she was even there.
"I don't think I'd survive being a surrogate again," Kaeya smiled sadly before focusing his
attention back on Yangmei. "The first time nearly killed me."
"It wouldn't have to be as a surrogate, necessarily, you know?" Zhongli said, shifting closer to
gently touch Kaeya's arm. He caressed little Yangmei's soft hair before meeting Kaeya's eyes.
"You'd be more than welcome to stay indefinitely."
Kaeya looked up at the alpha, searching for the answers to a question he did not know how to
pose. Apparently, he hadn't needed to, because Zhongli seemed to read him like an open
book.
"Come back to Liyue with me," he said as he cupped Kaeya's face. He looked so sure of
himself, it was endearing. "Home isn't home without you, Kaeya. Not anymore."
He wanted to. By the stars, he wanted to. His body burned with want, with the sheer need to
be close to his mates and child. But he couldn't forget that he was Ayato's betrothed. He had a
responsibility. He couldn't just up and leave everything without a word again. Not only that,
there was still so much they needed to sort out, to talk about.
"I can't," Kaeya said as he handed Yangmei back to Zhongli, going against his instincts and
reminding himself that he couldn't live this fairytale dream he'd allowed himself to believe in
for a little while. "I'm being courted by Ayato. I'm bound by the promises I made to him, to
Diluc. I can't leave them."
Zhongli looked like he was going to cry again, but instead, he just nodded his eyes fluttering
closed for a second before he kissed Kaeya again, slow and gentle this time around,
savouring it while it lasted.
It tasted like goodbye.
"I leave tomorrow morning on the first ship to Liyue Harbour," Zhongli said, smiling sadly at
Kaeya. "If you change your mind, come find me."
Chapter End Notes
Y'all need to stop making Ajax's kneecaps into soup. I'm terrified of you. 😭
Mine to Lose
Chapter Notes
🥺
Again, big thank you to Cait for helping me with the editing of this chapter. They're the
best.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
It was impossible for Kaeya to return to the celebrations after his encounter with Zhongli.
There was a lot he needed to think about, and a lot he didn't want to think about at all.
He wandered around the outskirts of Chinju Forest, trying to calm his heart and figure out
what he was supposed to do with his life. Never did he think he'd find himself in the position
where he'd feel so conflicted about the future. Uncertain, sure, but not because he wasn't sure
if he was going to be able to afford the next month's rent. No. This time he felt in the depths
of his being that he needed to overhaul his entire life, to figure out what path to follow.
And as much as he still loved Ajax and Zhongli (part of him often wondered if he would ever
unlearn to love them, or if this love was as much a part of him as breathing at this point), as
much as he longed to be with them, with their baby, to watch little Yangmei grow and learn
the world with all the curiosity he'd already seen bubbling within his honey eyes, he was not
entirely certain that being with them was the right decision to make.
Not only that, there was the whole situation with Ayato to consider. Sure, they were courting,
and nothing was set in stone yet, but part of him loathed the thought of breaking his friend's
heart.
"Would you still stay if he didn't care for you?" Kaeya asked, looking up at the constellations
sparkling above his head. "No," he told himself, hiding his face in his hands. "No, you
wouldn't."
Zhongli had said that they needed him, that Ajax had changed after Kaeya left and Zhongli
himself had missed his presence. A few months ago, he would have taken the first train to
Liyue and jumped into their arms. But now...
The money he'd earned with the surrogacy remained untouched in the bank account Zhongli
had created for him. Millions upon millions of mora waiting to be spent. Mora that Kaeya
had no idea what to do with. Mora Kaeya felt dirty spending.
He'd been entertaining the idea of opening a dance school in Mondstadt's Lower Town, where
the kids would often be met with misfortune before they learned to take their first steps. He'd
been dreaming about teaching them every other day, helping them with homework and taking
them out for hearty meals if they hadn't had one in a while. Many families in the Lower Town
lived in situations just as bad or even worse than the one he had found himself in when he
first met Zhongli and Ajax.
If he could be the big brother he wished he'd had when he was in a tight spot... If he could
take them off the streets and steer their passion towards something better, something bigger...
He couldn't do that in Liyue.
He couldn't do that in Inazuma either.
Except, maybe he could.
He knew people who would be more than happy to help him with this project. Eula and
Amber were always so good with the kids at the studio where he practised. He remembered
them giving lessons to Joel, a little kid that lived at the foot of Dragonspine, his father had
gone missing during an expedition to the mountain and his mother moved to the Lower Town
after being unable to keep their home following the disappearance of her husband.
He'd seen the way they protected him, the way they invited him to their practice room and
taught him basic moves.
Kaeya had witnessed several times this very day, how Ayaka and Yoimiya dealt with the kids
that attended their wedding. With Yoimiya's endless optimism and Ayaka's patient tutelage,
he was certain that they'd prosper if they decided to take on a similar project.
The children in Konda village would be more than grateful for having someone to look up to,
new role models to guide them into a brighter path.
The wind picked up, and the distant sounds of the party started to die down as the night
turned into morning. Kaeya felt the delicate jewellery on his hair shift and tangle within the
strands. The cool air sobered him enough to make his head clear.
Look at him. Dreaming helplessly about a future he couldn't have. Making big plans in his
head, involving people he hardly kept contact with, people who already had clear goals and
defined futures for themselves.
He stood up from the rock he'd been sitting on for so long he could hardly feel his backside
anymore. The music had faded into silence, the distant party lights had gone out, and Kaeya
wondered just how long he'd spent aimlessly walking around, sitting down, walking some
more, sitting again, and thinking about all the things he needed to sort out in his life.
The path back to the estate was illuminated by the moon. The stars guided him in silent
companionship as Kaeya decided to forget everything that had happened for today. When he
arrived, he'd go to bed, sleep, and maybe deal with his life when he woke up again. That was
a plan he could get behind.
×
"You've been gone all night."
Kaeya nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard Ayato's voice from the dark corner of the
kitchen.
Having missed dinner, Kaeya had decided to snack on some leftovers before heading to bed.
He never expected Ayato to be there, sitting at the kitchen counter looking haggard and
exhausted and so unlike himself. Gone was the gentle smile on his face, the proper way he
always held himself. His hair was mussed up like he'd ran his fingers through it far too much,
his traditional kimono crumpled and askew
Kaeya put down the bottle of lavender melon juice he'd been holding.
"Ayato, I'm sorry, I-"
"Kaeya, we need to-"
They stopped, meeting each other's eyes in the dimly lit kitchen. The silence stretched to the
ends of the world and back, thick and heavy with all the feelings neither knew how to put
into words.
"I'll go first," Ayato tipped the glass he'd been holding and drank its contents in one big gulp
before picking up the bottle next to him and filling the glass again. Then he picked up another
cup, filled that, too, and pushed it to the seat next to him. "Drink with me."
He wasn't sure what was going on. Did Ayato know? Did he know who he'd been with and
where he'd been all these hours? Did he know what they'd been doing? Ayato, who had
always been kind to him, respected him enough to not get involved with other people, even
when he knew that Kaeya didn't reciprocate his affections. Ayato who'd held him in his arms
and told him "It's an honour to be your friend," like Kaeya was worthy of his respect.
He wasn't.
Kaeya took his seat next to Ayato and picked up the glass, but he didn't immediately drink.
Part of him knew, it wasn't a good idea to drink on an empty stomach, but that resolve
quickly melted into nothing when Ayato said,
"You smell like him."
The laughter that followed was light and a little sad, but it didn't hold any of the anger Kaeya
had been expecting.
"I'm sorry," Kaeya sighed as he sipped on his cup of strong rice wine.
"Don't be," Ayato swirled his drink in his hand, looking at the liquid like it provided him with
the answers that he'd been seeking. "It's good."
"The wine? Yeah, it's-"
"That you and Zhongli reconnected," Ayato swallowed once, twice, and then drank some
more. "Kaeya, I wish to terminate our courtship."
A wave of heat descended upon Kaeya, his entire body tensing. "What? Why? Ayato I'm-"
"Not in love with me," Ayato put his cup down and turned to face him. "Don't get me wrong,
if circumstances were different, I would have fought for you, I would have shown you that I
was worthy of your love. I would have given my heart and soul to woo you and be the best
man I could be for you."
His trembling hands reached towards Ayato, who took them in his larger pair, so pale and
elegant and warm.
"I know I've done you wrong-"
"Kaeya, listen to me," Ayato shook his head, his hands tenderly cradling Kaeya's cheeks, his
touch so sweet it nearly brought him to tears. "I planned for this. You meeting Zhongli, do
you think it was fated? Written in the stars? When I invited Zhongli he wasn't going to come.
He called me to say that due to Ajax's condition, he couldn't leave his husband alone. Then I
told him I'd find a way to make you two meet."
"Why? Why didn't you tell me any of this?" Kaeya asked, leaning away from Ayato so he
could better meet his eyes.
"Because I wanted to be selfish, and live in the illusion that for at least a few hours, I could
pretend that you were mine to love before you became mine to lose."
It was too much. A man could only endure so much in one day. Kaeya sucked in a deep shaky
breath, his heart somersaulting in his chest like it couldn't find a place to rest. Kaeya wanted
to scream in frustration, but also to cry in relief. There was so much happening, that he could
hardly process it all.
"Why did you do this? I don't... I could have been yours, Ayato. We were betrothed, we were
courting-"
"And you're already referring to it in the past tense," Ayato pointed out, not unkindly. In fact,
he was smiling. "You and I both know that we were never meant to end up together, Kaeya. It
was a joy to pretend for a while, but after I saw the way you were talking about Zhongli and
Ajax when you were here last time, the look on your face, I knew that you'd never be happy
if I tied you to me. Your place isn't in Inazuma, Kae. Your place is with your family, and I
don't mean Diluc."
His family.
For most of his life, Kaeya's been searching for his place in the world, and no matter how
hard he'd looked, no matter how much he'd moved around, even though he'd returned to his
childhood home, he knew that his place wasn't in Mond, or Inazuma, or even in Liyue. He'd
never felt more at home than when he was tucked lovingly between Ajax and Zhongli, one
talking about his big family, the other whispering sweet words in his ears as he held him to
his chest.
Kaeya's home had never been a where but a who, and half of it had been so close, the
moment Zhongli left he'd felt homeless all over again.
"Don't look so sad," Ayato sighed, hugging Kaeya close.
"I never meant to hurt you," he said, his hands grasping the thick silk of Ayato's kimono.
"Stars above, I didn't mean to make you unhappy."
"You didn't. Sometimes we just don't get what we want, right?" Ayato smiled, brushing
Kaeya's hair away from his face, the few strands that had come loose from his braid tucked
behind his ears.
"What's going to happen now?"
"I'm getting married, that's what's going to happen."
"Can you let me breathe between bombshells?" Kaeya protested, pushing Ayato at arm's
length. "I thought you were breaking our courtship off?"
"I am marrying Sangonomiya Kokomi. I proposed the idea to her, and she accepted. A union
between the Sangonomiya family and the Kamisato clan would put to rest any rumours of
Watatsumi turning against the Shogun. If anything it will strengthen the alliance that had
been established centuries ago by our ancestors following the first war," Ayato smiled, and
picked up his glass of rice wine once more. "To peace."
Kaeya looked at him with a little frown, but he picked up his cup as well, accepting the liquor
that Ayato so generously poured into it.
It hurt to know that he was sacrificing his heart in the name of peace, for a brighter future for
Inazuma and all the people who depended on them. It was honourable, tragic and generous all
at once.
"Hey, Ayato?"
"Hm?"
"Your kids will be fucking beautiful, you know? And terrifyingly smart. They'll be a menace
to society."
Laughter. Loud and genuine and so light it made Kaeya's heart flutter. The tension in the
room abated significantly after that, between shared drinks and small anecdotes, the time
seemed to glide smoothly towards dawn.
"I should go to bed," Ayato yawned, standing up and trying to fix his kimono, but the silk had
become so loose most of the skin of his chest was showing anyway. After a moment, Ayato
snorted a laugh and gave up on looking presentable. "You should go pack your bags. It might
come as no surprise to you that Diluc is spending the night in Thoma's room."
"Are you kicking me out, Ayato?" Kaeya teased, wobbling a little on his feet when he stood
up. The wine was stronger than he'd realised. "Shit, that hits hard."
"Kicking you out? Absolutely not. Aren't you going to Liyue with Zhongli?"
Was he? Zhongli had told him he'd be leaving in the first boat. Had he gone already?
"I don't know. I don't even know what time it is, or what time the boat leaves. And I don't
have a ticket. Besides, I can't just leave without telling Diluc. He'd follow me to Liyue and
nail Zhongli's balls to the wall-"
"Kaeya, I gave you the ticket," Ayato said, frowning.
"Um... No?"
"The envelope."
"What envelope?"
Eyes wide, Ayato blinked incredulously at Kaeya. "Please tell me you kept the envelope.
During dinner when I gave you the headpiece. I gave you an envelope. There was a note there
and the ticket to the boat."
It was Kaeya's turn to panic. He loosened the strings of his corset a little, just enough so he
could fit his hand inside and pull out the envelope Ayato had given him. He opened the
delicate paper and indeed, tucked in the corner, was the piece of paper with his name and the
designation of the journey.
'Alberich, Kaeya
Ritou > Liyue Harbour
1st Class - Suite 11
October 12th 06h28m
Boarding time: 05h36m'
"Five-thirty?" Kaeya breathed, blinking up at Ayato. "What time is it now?"
Ayato gave a little shrug and looked at his phone. His eyebrows shot up. "Oh, shit."
"That's not good."
"Go get your passport, I'll call for the car."
"What time is it?"
Ayato turned the phone towards Kaeya and his heart jumped to his throat. "Fuck. Okay. It's
five-twenty. How long will it take to get to Ritou?"
"It depends on how many traffic laws you're willing to break," Ayato said, a grin spreading
on his lips.
"All of them," Kaeya urgently said, already turning around to go get his passport. "For my
mates and child, I'd break all of them."
×
Kaeya was panting, looking around himself like a headless chicken, trying to find his way.
He had only time to shove his phone, charger and passport into a tote bag before Ayato had
called to him warning him that the car had been waiting by the gates. Kaeya had flown so fast
down the stairs, it was a miracle he hadn't tripped, fallen and broken his neck.
Ayato assured him that he'd tell Diluc what had happened come morning, and during the ride
to the boat, Kaeya had written him a note in an old receipt for dango milk he'd found in his
bag, and asked the driver to deliver it to his brother, once he'd woken up.
Now he was here, looking desperately around and searching for anyone willing to let him on
the ship. It was currently six-twenty, and for some reason, he still wasn't on board that damn
boat. With his heart in his throat, he waved his ticket in the air along with his passport, its teal
cover bright enough to finally get the attention of an attendant.
"May I help you, sir?"
"Yes! Oh, my stars. I need to get on board."
"Boarding closed three minutes ago-"
"No, please, you don't understand. Please, you have to let me in," Kaeya pleaded, handing his
ticket for the man to check. "My son is in there!"
"Sir? Has your son been taken?"
Kaeya, who was still trying to get his breath back, blinked up at the man. "What?"
"Are you reporting a kidnapping, sir?" The man asked again, his tone harsh and serious.
"No! He's with his father-"
"You got separated from your family, am I understanding this correctly?"
"Yes! Yes! That's it! They're in there and I'm in here and-"
"Could you give me your husband's name?"
"We're wasting time here!" Kaeya shrieked, glancing at the digital clock on the platform.
"Please just let me in. I have my ticket. I have my documents!"
"If I'm not mistaken, both the boarding time and the time of departure are printed on your
ticket. I suggest you manage your time more efficiently next time-"
"Let him in, Huixing."
The attendant looked up and his back straightened like a rod, his hand touching his brow.
"Yes, captain, ma'am."
"Beidou!" Kaeya could have kissed her smack on the lips. Never has he been more relieved
to see the woman in front of him.
"Why, hello there, pretty boy. Long time no see."
The attendant registered his ticket and then Kaeya was being dragged into the ship by
Beidou, her hand almost twice as big as his, a strong grip that caused his bones to shift under
the tight grasp. She only let go of him once they were close to the prow, her heeled boots
click-clacking on the wood as they walked.
"Thank you so much," Kaeya sighed, looking up at her with a small smile. "I owe you one."
"No, you don't. You're Zhongli and Ajax's mate, and they're like family to me. Therefore,
you're like family to me. And I leave no family behind," She grinned, her visible eye
sparkling with glee.
For some reason, to hear someone else acknowledge him as their mate made him feel
strangely proud. Even if officially their relationship hadn't been defined, even if he still
wasn't quite sure about their feelings for him, the omega within preened with the title.
Because to Kaeya, that was the title he'd adopted from the moment they took him into their
care.
"You're not in uniform," Kaeya observed, still following Beidou around. Clearly, she knew
where she was going, which was good because Kaeya had no idea what to do next. "Aren't
you captaining this ship?"
"Technically I'm the Fleet Admiral of the Liyue Navy. I don't captain ships, I boss the
captains who do," Beidou smirked, her steps slowing down. "I'm off duty today. Returning
home after coming to Inazuma to take care of a personal matter. Meeting you was pure
happenstance."
Kaeya nodded, wiping his hands on his trousers as he fell a little behind. When has his life
turned into this? Being constantly surrounded by important people with big jobs and big
responsibilities. Titles here, more titles thereAnd then he remembered that Kaeya himself was part of the Mondstadt nobility. The
Aristocracy hadn't wielded power in Mond for centuries, but according to his tutors, the
Ragnvindr family was the next in line to ascend to the throne, had there been one.
The thought made him want to laugh. Kaeya was no prince, no noble. He was just a boy who
liked to dance, a boy who'd lived in the streets, a boy who was only alive out of sheer
stubbornness. His ancestors would have baulked at the sight of him when he survived by
diving into dumpsters and eating scraps from the bottom of bins.
Those were weeks Kaeya would rather not think about.
It took him a moment to realise that Beidou had come to a stop and was now looking
curiously at him. She was only slightly taller than Kaeya - he assumed they were about the
same height if she took off her boots - but even then, like her wife, her gaze made him feel
surprisingly small. He swallowed nervously and blinked up at her.
"You heard nothing of what I said, did you?" she asked, her red lips curling into a friendly
smile. He could see it, her beauty even if the eyepatch covered her eye, she was beautiful the
same way Itto had been handsome; in a very stereotypical alpha sort of way, very rugged and
muscular but elegant somehow.
"I heard nothing," he confirmed, feeling oddly comfortable in her presence. "Was it
important?"
"Not enough for me to repeat myself," Beidou laughed. "They're over there," she tilting her
head towards the side, Kaeya following the direction with his eyes.
Indeed, there they were. Zhongli sat on a wooden bench with Yangmei in his arms, trying to
fit his father's entire hand into his mouth. Ganyu stood by the railing, watching the scenery of
Inazuma grow smaller and smaller in the distance as the boat sailed off.
Kaeya hadn't even noticed they'd started moving. There was no turning back now.
As he approached, he could hear Zhongli's voice, tired and desperate as he begged his son to
stop crying.
"I don't know what you want," he sighed, his words a little shaky. He looked even worse than
he had the previous day. There was stubble on his chin, dark and coarse along his jaw like he
had to pick between sleeping or personal hygiene and had picked the former out of pure
exhaustion. "Please just tell me what you need Ah-Mei, baba will make it better, but I need to
know what's wrong."
"He needs to be burped," Kaeya said, his hands unconsciously wrapping around himself in a
self-hug. "He's doing the 'Eh' cry."
Zhongli looked up, staring at Kaeya like he was a ghost, an apparition, a genie in a bottle,
something that should not be there by any stretch of the imagination.
"Kaeya," he breathed, reverence in the way his lips shaped his name.
"Hi," Kaeya smiled, not daring to take a step closer until he was certain that Zhongli wouldn't
reject his presence. Part of him wondered if he'd imagined the previous night if Zhongli
asking him to go back to Liyue with him had been real and not just a figment of his very
overactive imagination. "May I?"
Zhongli nodded, dumbly shifting to the side to give Kaeya more room to sit next to him on
the bench. Kaeya breathed in and slowly breathed back out, his arms reaching towards his
son (his son!) and gently adjusting his position until he was held against Kaeya's chest, his
head over his shoulder.
Yangmei had stopped crying as soon as his luna had picked him up, and was now mewling in
discomfort as Kaeya gently patted him on the back. A couple of seconds later, Yangmei let
out a little burp and settled down against Kaeya's chest.
"There you are," Kaeya sighed, eyes closed as he leaned his head towards the baby. "You're
so big."
"Kaeya."
"Zhongli."
"You came."
Kaeya nodded, looking at the sea as the sun slowly climbed the endless blue sky. It was partly
cloudy, and the weather was still fairly cool, so it was pleasant to sit outside, smelling the sea
and feeling the salty breeze.
"I almost didn't. When I went back to the estate, I was fully prepared to go back to being
Ayato's future husband. Then he told me he had planned for us to meet," Kaeya leaned his
head towards Yangmei as the baby nuzzled into his neck. "You didn't know, did you? That I
was betrothed to him, that he was courting me. That's why you looked so taken aback when
Diluc told you."
"Ayato said he could help me bring you back. So when I heard that you were promised to him
I thought he was being cruel, that he was rubbing in my face the fact that you could never be
ours, that you'd never come home to me, to Ajax, to our son," Zhongli slumped on his seat,
looking as exhausted as Kaeya felt. "I wasn't even thinking straight. He's not that type of
man. Of course, now I know better."
Kaeya adjusted Yangmei in his arms and rubbed his tummy as he rocked him carefully to
sleep. He couldn't take his eyes away from him. He was so tiny but so perfect. His lips were
pouty and pink, his cheeks rosy and chubby, his hair was still dark, but Kaeya could already
see the undertones of Zhongli's colours becoming clearer. He was definitely Zhongli's son, in
everything except the tiny dimples in the corners of his lips. Those were all his.
"There's still a lot we must discuss, Zhongli. I was rebuilding my life in Mond, I was going to
therapy, I was recovering. Slowly, but gradually. I can't just upend my life again without
knowing without a shadow of a doubt that it'll be worth it," Kaeya told him, his eyes fixed on
the way Yangmei wrapped his little chubby fingers around his pinky.
"So... You're not coming to Liyue?" Zhongli asked, sounding more than a little reluctant.
Kaeya glanced up at him. "I am. I just... I want to know that I'm not going to have to give up
myself and my life for everything to just fall apart on me again. I can't do that. You must be
honest with me, Zhongli. I can't invest my heart into something that's bound to fail again,"
Kaeya warned, brushing a strand of his hair behind his ear. "I want to keep going to therapy. I
want to start working on my own projects. There's so much I want to do that won't ever be
done if my heart is broken again."
Zhongli smiled and wrapped his arm around Kaeya's waist, before tugging him a little closer.
"I understand. I think it would be good for you to keep going to therapy. I think..." He
hesitated for a moment, his voice faltering. "I think I should start going to therapy, too. Ajax
has been trying to convince me for years, but I've always been too stubborn. I thought..."
Zhongli trailed off, and Kaeya leaned his head on the alpha's shoulder. He could feel the
vague scent of him, buried beneath the thick haze caused by his suppressants. Kaeya needed
to find another way to suppress his heats. To live without Zhongli's and Ajax's scents, at this
point, was unfathomable.
"You thought that you had to be strong for your husband, for your late wife, for your family,
for everyone around you. You thought that seeking help would look make you look weak,
and so you tried to deal with everything by yourself, but it backfired so spectacularly that
now you feel like you've been trying to hold yourself together with nothing but spit and a
prayer while being consumed by a wildfire," Kaeya tilted his head to meet Zhongli's eyes.
"Speaking from experience?"
"I'm a veteran," Kaeya chuckled, the baby in his arms squealing at the sound and giving them
both a big, gummy smile. "He looks so much like you."
"I resented it at first. My grandmother used to say the same thing about me and my father.
She said I looked exactly like him, that our resemblance was uncanny," Zhongli smiled as he
tickled Yangmei's tiny foot. The baby laughed and squirmed in Kaeya's arms. "I started
growing my hair because of that. He hated it."
"What a rebel," Kaeya wiggled his brows and bumped Zhongli on the shoulder.
He was going to bump him back, but let out a mighty yawn that made his jaw crack
unpleasantly. "I'm sorry, darling. I haven't slept in a couple of days. It's catching up to me."
"Sir."
Both Kaeya and Zhongli looked up to see Ganyu standing closer, her smile tender as she
looked between them. "I'll take the baby for a few hours. Why don't you and mister Kaeya go
have some rest? We should arrive in Liyue after dinnertime, so you have plenty of time to
rest up and feel refreshed."
"That's not a half-bad idea," Zhongli agreed, standing up. He twisted his torso this way and
that and his spine cracked with the movement, his bones settling as he stretched. Then he
held out his hand, an invitation. "Come with me? I miss sleeping with you in my arms. I
haven't slept well since you left."
Kaeya bit his lip and hesitated for just a moment before handing Yangmei over to Ganyu,
kissing his forehead, and taking Zhongli's hand. "Far from me to keep you from a good rest.
If holding me helps you to have a nice long rest, then I'll be your plushie."
Kaeya wasn't sure how they ended up in Zhongli's suite. The only thing he remembered was
falling on to the very luxurious bed, curling up to Zhongli and immediately falling asleep.
Chapter End Notes
I'm sorry I haven't been replying to comments lately, I've just been so exhausted. But
know that I read them all and I appreciate every single one of you ❤ thank you for your
continued support it means the world to me.
Stay
Chapter Notes
Big thank you to @temporalsilence for once again making this chapter readable.
The warm kiss of the sun spread over the exposed skin of Kaeya's back, slowly coaxing him
into wakefulness. He squirmed a little in his sleep, consciousness gradually returning to him
as he slowly took notice of the heat that had settled in his body.
He could still feel Zhongli's arms around him, holding him close to his chest. A small, secret
smile lifted the corners of his lips, and he pressed his nose to the dip between Zhongli's
collarbones. His scent was very light, but there, so earthy and masculine and Kaeya could
feel his cheeks warming up.
Blinking his eyes open, he glanced up. Zhongli seemed to still be asleep, his breathing deep
and steady, his face relaxed. Kaeya sighed, taking in the man he loved, his eyes tracing over
the lines of his expression and committing them to memory. His fingers twitched, longing to
touch him, so Kaeya did. He brought his fingertips to Zhongli's face and lightly travelled the
planes of his stubbled cheek, down towards his lips, a little dry and chapped, but still so
kissable.
Amber eyes fluttered open to stare back at him, those lips pressing a small kiss to the tips of
Kaeya's fingers.
For what felt like forever, they just lay there staring at each other, afraid of breaking the
silence. Afraid that if they dared to acknowledge each other's presence the other would
disappear and reveal the moment as nothing more than a dream.
The sun was setting, bathing the room in the glowing golden light of early evening. Zhongli's
eyes looked like they were alight, so bright and passionate as he looked back at Kaeya, and
yet, so vulnerable at the same time. They flicked down towards Kaeya's lips, then back up.
May I kiss you, they asked.
And Kaeya was so weak he just leaned forward to close the distance between them, one hand
burying into the loose strands of Zhongli's hair, the other closing tightly around his shirt,
tugging him closer.
It was slow, lazy, even, the way they kissed. It lacked all the hesitation that had been present
while Kaeya was still pregnant and all the urgency that had sparked once they were reunited
the previous afternoon. Now, they were taking their sweet time to properly savour each other,
to reassure that they had time, all the time they needed, all the time they wanted.
Kaeya gasped into the empty room as Zhongli moved his lips down, along his jaw, down his
neck where he made sure to mark him just above the place where he was the most sensitive,
where his gland lay just beneath the skin, throbbing, longing for a claiming bite.
It was too soon, and they both knew it, but Kaeya wasn't opposed to showing the world that
he was Zhongli's to mark. Not after so long yearning for the alpha.
Hopefully, when the time came, he would be marked black and blue by both of his loves.
Until then, Kaeya would be more than happy to have one of them. It was more than he ever
dreamed he'd have.
Zhongli's fingers moved from Kaeya's waist to his back, his touch teasing, featherlight as his
fingertips ran down the bumps of his spine before coming to rest over his sacrum. He pushed
Kaeya forward until they were pelvis to pelvis, chest to chest, as his mouth claimed him once
again. He shifted them both until Kaeya was lying on his back, hair fanning out beneath him,
his eyes half-lidded with want as Zhongli hovered over him.
The way he looked at Kaeya made him feel naked in ways he hadn't felt before. Despite their
bodies being well acquainted with each other, this was new, exciting and intimidating.
Zhongli didn’t take his eyes away from Kaeya's as he slowly undid the buttons of his fancy
shirt, uncovering his skin like it was a treasure, and following every exposed inch with his
lips.
Between teasing bites and loving kisses, Kaeya had found himself bare to Zhongli's viewing
pleasure, his legs spreading for him, an invitation, a request, and he couldn't help but let out a
broken moan when Zhongli touched him between his cheeks, his fingers glistening with slick
when he moved them back. Kaeya nearly choked when the alpha brought his fingers to his
lips and licked them clean.
The way his eyes darkened made Kaeya shudder. His heart was thumping with anticipation,
his body aching for his mate's touch on him, in him, and he tugged at his shirt impatiently,
demanding for it to be off as his trembling fingers fiddled clumsily with the buttons. The
moment Zhongli's chest was freed from the soft cotton, Kaeya's mouth latched onto him,
kissing, biting and sucking as he made a piss poor job of undoing Zhongli's belt. He needed it
off. He needed him naked and inside him as soon as yesterday. Every second their bodies
were not connected was too long, too unbearable.
With a little help from Zhongli's expert hands, Kaeya managed to push his trousers down,
followed by the tight fit of his underwear, already damp where the head of his cock had been
leaking for him. It never ceased to amaze him how big alphas were, so thick his hand barely
closed around them.
Zhongli hissed in a mixture of pain and pleasure when Kaeya rubbed his thumb over the tip
of his sex, so swollen and ready, so desperate to slide into Kaeya's body and claim, breed,
mate, own. His legs were trembling, desperation causing him to spread them further apart, to
urge Zhongli to end both of their sufferings.
And not being one to disappoint, Zhongli did. He fit himself between Kaeya's thighs, one
hand gently caressing the skin of his stomach, the other guiding his length as he carefully slid
into him. It was a monumental effort for him not to move, not to pull away at the sudden
intrusion. Kaeya wasn't nearly as prepared for him as he'd liked to be, but the need to have
him close overpowered the need to feel as little pain as possible.
Besides, pain meant that it was real. Pain meant that it was happening, that Zhongli was there
with him, making love to Kaeya again after months of tortuous separation. After weeks upon
weeks of longing, yearning, heartbreak.
Kaeya let out a small sob, emotion and discomfort causing him to feel overwhelmed.
Alarmed, Zhongli stopped, and when he tried to pull away, Kaeya wrapped his legs around
his hips and pushed him back inside, all the way until skin touched skin, his voice breaking
into a moan.
Zhongli had his brows furrowed in concentration, his hand carefully wiping away Kaeya's
tears as he peppered small sweet kisses all over the omega's face. They both needed the time
to adjust to each other again. Kaeya must have felt deliciously tight if the look of pure agony
and pleasure on his mate's face was anything to go by. After all, it had been months since the
baby had been born. Kaeya's body had had more than enough time to heal.
As the final light of the golden sunset disappeared from the horizon, Kaeya rocked his hips a
little, testing the feeling briefly, before he urged Zhongli to move.
And move he did, slow and steady, looking down to where their bodies connected,
mesmerised. The slow drag of his cock felt like torture and sweet release all at once. Kaeya
was so wet, his slick was virtually pooling on the bedsheets beneath them.
Sinking into the bed, he looped his arms around Zhongli's large shoulders, and brought him
back down into a kiss, his hips rocking in tempo with Zhongli's thrusts and meeting him
halfway. Each thrust was harder than the previous, and soon, the pace they'd set was so
frantic, that they could hardly look each other in the eye without feeling dizzy at the
proximity.
Kaeya held tight onto Zhongli, his short nails dragging down his back as he moaned against
his skin, his lips pressing against the claiming mark Ajax had left on Zhongli's pale neck. He
wished Ajax was there with them. His presence was always so bright, it only made his
absence feel bigger.
Zhongli was breathing harshly against Kaeya's lips, the rhythm of his thrusts becoming a
little more erratic, more frantic as he chased after his climax. And as Kaeya felt him grow
closer, he felt his own body reacting, urging him to come, to fill him up, to properly mate him
without reservations.
And then Kaeya was falling apart, his voice hoarse as it echoed within the walls of the suite.
His back arched off the bed, pearly barren seed spurting over his stomach. He came
untouched, his body tensing as wave after wave of intense pleasure shook his body from his
head to his curling toes.
His lover hadn't slowed down, however. If anything watching Kaeya come undone had
spurred him on even further.
Zhongli let go of Kaeya's thigh and held his hand instead, their fingers lacing together as he
voiced his pleasure with deep rumbling grunts and desperate gasps.
He glanced at Kaeya, a question.
Inside?
And Kaeya answered by kissing him again, his legs tight around Zhongli's hips, urging him
closer, deeper.
Nowhere else.
Zhongli slammed his hips hard against Kaeya one last time, before he succumbed to his
orgasm, his body shaking violently as he coated Kaeya's insides with his seed, thick and
fertile and so generous that Kaeya felt it filling him up with every pump.
Spent and exhausted, Zhongli's arms trembled with the effort of holding himself up. He fell
onto Kaeya's chest, his head resting upon his shoulder as he panted in an attempt to bring his
breath back to a normal rhythm. He lazily pressed open-mouthed kisses to Kaeya's skin,
damp and salty with sweat.
There was so much Kaeya wanted to say, so much his heart needed to get out.
Please don't let this be a dream.
I've missed you so much.
I'm so ready to be yours.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
It was Zhongli who broke the silence first, his head lifting from Kaeya's chest to look him in
the eyes.
"I thought we'd lost you," he whispered, his eyes gleaming with unshed tears. "It took us
three days to realise you'd left. Ajax was so devastated he wouldn't eat. I had to remind him
that he was a father now, that our son needed him to get him to eat again. Please, Kaeya.
Stay."
Kaeya hushed him, bringing his head back down to lay on his chest. He knew Zhongli could
hear his heart thumping wildly within its boney cage. And yet, he felt him relax into him, as
Kaeya's fingers gently combed through his hair, massaging his scalp.
"I don't think I would survive if I left again," Kaeya said with a sigh. "The first time nearly
killed me. But there's a lot we need to talk about. All three of us."
"Yes," Zhongli agreed, sounding a little more like himself following Kaeya's reassurance.
"Yes, we do. There are too many words still left unsaid. When we reunite with Ajax, we'll fix
that mistake, too."
Kaeya hummed, quiet and pensive. Words left unsaid, eh? Perhaps... Perhaps not for long. He
was tired of keeping everything to himself. But Zhongli was right. They needed to reunite
with Ajax first.
×
As a child, Kaeya used to waste hours trying to solve the spot-the-difference games that came
printed in the back of his father's morning newspaper. He'd wait patiently for Crepus to read
through the news, sometimes commenting on the current state of politics, or expressing grief
at the news of a natural disaster wrecking chaos in some faraway nation.
Kaeya had not cared for any of that. What he'd longed for was the moment when Crepus
would fold the newspaper and hand it to him. And then Kaeya would sit at the breakfast table
for as long as it took him to find out that last difference between the two images, unsure if
that black dot on the clock above the cat bed was meant to be a difference or if it had just
been a printing mistake. In the end, the daisies had one less petal in the image on the righthand side, and he'd rejoiced for finding all nine differences by himself.
The next day the cycle would repeat itself, and every time Kaeya would feel elated when he
managed to solve it again.
Now, standing in the sitting room of the penthouse, half a year after he saw it last, he couldn't
help but try to spot the differences. But this time, he was playing hardcore mode. No hints, no
indication of how many differences there were to find, and he had to rely on his memory for
the original picture to compare the new information.
Right away he spotted an extra blanket on the sofa, soft and smelling strongly of Yangmei.
Strong enough for Kaeya himself to get a proper whiff of his sweet orange blossom scent
through the haze of his suppressants.
There were baby toys scattered here and there. Ajax's whalicorn lay haphazardly on the
coffee table, while a teething ring sat on the console by the entrance door.
Kaeya's armchair was still there, seemingly untouched. As he walked up the stairs and turned
towards his old bedroom, he noticed the new photographs on the wall, next to Ajax's family
photos. There was one of Yangmei with his big gummy smile while he tried to put his foot in
his mouth, another of Ajax and Yangmei on the feeding chair in the nursery, a copy of
Yangmei's first ultrasound, back when he was still a tiny amorphous blob in Kaeya's womb.
And one of Kaeya himself.
He stopped in his tracks as he stared at it. It was a beautiful candid picture that had been
taken without Kaeya even noticing. He was wearing his favourite silk gown, his hair
cascading over his shoulder as he cradled his pregnant belly with one hand, the other holding
a mug of steaming tea. In the reflection of the windows behind him, he could see the vague
outline of Ajax with his hands up to take the picture.
Zhongli stopped beside him, his hand finding home in the curve of his waist. "Beautiful, isn't
it?"
"I never noticed," Kaeya breathed, reaching towards the frame and gently hovering his
fingers over the outline of his image, careful not to touch the protective glass and dirty it with
his fingerprints.
"You had plenty of moments of introspection. And every time we lost you to your thoughts
Ajax would manage to capture your image. He still has that one as his phone's wallpaper. He
says it's his favourite," Zhongli said, kissing Kaeya's temple.
"He's a talented photographer."
"You're an easy model to photograph."
Leaving the wall of pictures, Kaeya walked the rest of the way toward the guest apartment.
However, the game of spot the difference seemed to come to an abrupt end as he opened the
door and took his first step inside. Walking into the room was like stepping into a dimension
where time did not abide by its own laws.
Everything was just as he remembered leaving it. His nest was still there, piles of clothes and
blankets scattered around the mattress. Around the room, five suitcases remained open and
half-full, just like Kaeya had left them since before Yangmei had been born. His old phone
lay dead on his nightstand.
"We... Couldn't bring ourselves to tidy up after you left," Zhongli told him as he leaned
against the island counter of the kitchenette. "Madam Ping tried to at least change the
bedding, but Ajax was so angry he gave her a proper fright. She swore not to enter the room
again ever since."
Kaeya sat down on his old nest, his hands reaching for one of Ajax's hoodies and bringing it
to his face so he could bury his nose into the fabric. That scent of pine and sea salt was still
there, and not for the first time since he and Zhongli reunited, he cursed his suppressants for
messing up his sense of smell so much. He wanted to bathe in their scents, to surround
himself with them, if anything to soothe the longing omega within, to reassure himself that
his mates were there, they were close, and they still wanted Kaeya around.
"I miss him so much," Kaeya sighed, emotion closing up his throat. Pushing the words out
was an effort. "He was so angry with me, I convinced myself that he didn't want anything to
do with me anymore. That both of you had gotten what you wanted from me, so my purpose
here was over. I wasn't needed here anymore."
Zhongli sat next to him, his fingers turning Kaeya's chin so their eyes could meet. "He was
scared. No, he was terrified," Zhongli told him. "Ajax's past, I don't know much about it, but
I do know that he has severe trauma and a lot of unresolved issues. You may have noticed he
never mentions his father. It's always his mother, his siblings, his grandparents, his nieces and
his nephews. Never his father. I don't know the details, but I know he hates the man with
every blood cell in his veins."
"I know the feeling well," Kaeya muttered.
"I think his feelings towards you scared him, and after you rejected the baby he couldn't
control his fear, and he dealt with it by turning it into anger. Anger was always a much easier
emotion for him to express and deal with." Zhongli dropped his hand, his palm covering
Kaeya's fingers. "In all fairness, I didn't know what I was feeling myself. Not until you left.
Not until I realised that there was a very real chance I would never see you again, that I
would never have you in my arms like this again. I tried to find excuses for the things I was
feeling. I called it attraction, instinct, desire, everything but what it was. And I told you as
much. I told you that we wanted you because you were pregnant with our baby. I told you we
wanted you because you were beautiful and so ridiculously smart. I convinced myself that
Ajax and I wanted you for any number of reasons that didn't involve us actually developing
feelings for you."
Kaeya had to close his eyes, to let the words sink in for a moment. It was as close to a
confession as he was going to get, at least until Ajax was back from Snezhnaya - whenever
that may be. But the implication was there, clear as water. And Kaeya would take it for what
it was. He would accept it and cherish it because it was all he had.
"I didn't question it," Kaeya sighed, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes. "I was
fine with living a lie. I would have lived it for as long as you were willing to have me. But
ultimately I knew I couldn't stay. Leaving you, leaving your son-"
"Our son, Kaeya," Zhongli carefully corrected him, his hands squeezing Kaeya's.
The words made his heart flutter. He wished Yangmei had been there so he could hold him in
his arms. But Ganyu had been generous enough to offer to babysit him overnight while
Kaeya settled in after their trip back from Inazuma.
"Yes. Our son. Leaving the three of you was possibly the hardest thing I've done in my life. I
wasn't kidding when I say it nearly killed me."
Zhongli leaned in close and kissed Kaeya's lips, light and sweet, before lying back on the
messy nest and bringing Kaeya down with him, before coaxing him to lay his head over his
chest.
"Diluc mentioned it briefly," Zhongli's tone was quieter, pensive, and a little worried. "What
exactly happened on the night you left? I've asked Ajax, but he refuses to give me details. He
only says that he scared you away. That he hurt you and you left because of him."
"I don't remember much myself. Thinking back now, I had felt unlike myself since the baby
was born. My therapist said I was subconsciously harming myself as a way of punishing
myself for rejecting Yangmei. I wasn't eating, I was barely sleeping, and then one night I
heard him cry, and instinct brought me to him," Kaeya shuddered as he remembered the look
Ajax had given him when he tried to get to the baby. He hid his face in Zhongli's chest. "Yes,
he scared me that night. But he was just protecting his son."
"From an omega that hadn't yet recovered from the birth of his baby? What's there to
protect?" Zhongli frowned, his arms wrapping around Kaeya just a little bit tighter. "I know
Ajax is more in tune with his primal side than most alphas, but to scare our baby's luna like
that?"
"It doesn't matter. I would have left anyway," Kaeya shrugged, smiling. "I just found the
courage to leave sooner rather than later. But my body hadn't recovered yet. I walked for
hours until I reached Guili station, and then-"
"I'm sorry, what?" Zhongli pulled back, just enough to meet Kaeya's eyes. "Guili Station?"
"Yes."
"From Liyue Harbour."
"Yes."
"On foot, four days after you've given birth."
"Oh, was it four days? No wonder I was so sore," Kaeya mused, lying his head back down.
"Well, in the end when Diluc came to pick me up I was passed out. He told me later that he
sent for a doctor, and the doctor said that had he gotten to me any later I would have very
likely... Let's say the damage I did might have been irreversible."
Kaeya was playing with Zhongli's fingers, his heart thumping loudly in his chest. He couldn't
look him in the eye, he couldn't face him as he revealed just how deep into his depression
he'd fallen.
"Tell me," Zhongli asked, his voice a breezy whisper against the crown of Kaeya's hair.
"What did he say? How close were we to losing you?"
"As I said, I don't really remember much. According to Diluc and Adelinde, I was
unresponsive for weeks after I arrived. I became seriously malnourished and dehydrated and
because my body hadn't properly healed after Yangmei's birth, I developed a severe uterine
infection. The Doctor said it could have affected my..." Kaeya frowned. He never thought
saying the words out loud would be so difficult. Before Yangmei, he hadn't even considered
having children at all. "There was a chance I couldn't... He said that... shit."
"You might experience fertility issues in the future," Zhongli concluded, easily understanding
Kaeya's struggles. He hugged Kaeya closer to him, then, and ran his hand over his arm, up
and down, a soothing gesture.
"He said that the damage might have been irreversible, even after surgery. Depending on how
bad it was, I could have lost my uterus entirely. Diluc insisted I'd get treatment, so I spent
weeks being tested. Eventually, the doctor said that it might be very, very hard for me to
conceive outside of my heat cycles, but I was otherwise healthy and clear of danger. In the
end, I was incredibly lucky," Kaeya told him, wishing for the life of him that he had a bottle
of wine to nurse.
"I'm sorry darling. We were supposed to be responsible for you. We told you we'd take care
of you until you were well, and instead, we disregarded your pain. We were so self-absorbed
we didn't even consider the psychological repercussions this surrogacy might have had on
you. We suspected it would be hard, but we couldn't see past our own pain. In doing that, we
have alienated you. After living together for so long, we should have noticed you were
pushing us away on purpose. We should have noticed that you would never say some of the
things you did if you weren't experiencing excruciating pain yourself."
Maybe.
Kaeya wasn't quite sure what he'd said back then, but he knew he had tried his damned
hardest to distance himself from them without outright saying that he didn't want anything to
do with them anymore. Now, when he looked back, it all seemed so ridiculous, so futile. No
matter what he did, no matter how much he tried to push them away, Kaeya knew he would
always belong to them. Mind, body and soul. For as long as he lived.
"It's all over, now. It doesn't matter anymore. We can't change the past - all we can do is focus
on building a happier future. I'm in therapy now, and that's helping a lot. Especially after I
found out that Crepus was my biological father. That was a pleasant surprise," Kaeya said,
laughing when Zhongli did a double take to properly look at him. "I know. Wild eh?"
"I sense there's a story there," Zhongli prompted.
"Mn. It appears that my attraction for married and seemingly unavailable people might have
been hereditary after all," Kaeya started, before diving into the tale of how Diluc and Kaeya
came into the knowledge that they were related by blood.
They cuddled in his nest for hours, then, exchanging stories of their lives for the past six
months, from Kaeya's slow but steady recovery, to Yangmei's favourite everything, they
talked until the day started to brighten outside, and then they fell asleep in each other's arms,
extremely conscious of the missing piece that was currently absent from their almost perfect
cuddle pile.
I'm home
Chapter Notes
Content Warning: mentions of childhood trauma, child abuse, violence and death.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Yangmei was positively the most perfect living being Kaeya had ever seen in his entire life.
Hadn't he known any better, hadn't he been the one who's carried and birthed him, Kaeya
would have thought the fae had switched him at birth because his son's little features were
nothing but ethereal.
And, sure, maybe Kaeya was biased. But even when he'd held Yangmei for the first time,
before he'd even known he was his son, Kaeya had thought that he was one of the prettiest
babies he'd ever seen.
His hair had Zhongli's colours, but it held Kaeya's loose curls, his little toothless smile
showed off the tiny dimples on the corners of his lips, and even his eyes, big and golden as
they were, showed small flecks of blue that Kaeya had somehow missed the first few times
he'd held him. He might have missed them for a lot longer, had he not been glued to the
baby's side for most of the day, so desperate to make up for lost time as he was.
It had started that first morning after they arrived from Inazuma almost two weeks ago.
Zhongli had been so exhausted that when Ganyu stopped by to bring Yangmei back, he hadn't
even stirred when the doorbell went off. When Kaeya had taken hold of his baby, he had
found it impossible to put him back down. So he had just walked around the house with the
little one in his arms, surprised to notice how quickly he'd fallen asleep in Kaeya's embrace,
his little head resting over his chest, right above his heart.
Since that moment, Kaeya had taken to feeding him his bottle in the large armchair in the
nursery, Yangmei's ear to his chest as he got reacquainted with the heartbeat that had lulled
him to sleep for all those weeks before he was even born. The effect was almost immediate.
If he was being fussy or if he was crying a lot, Kaeya would hold him, and he'd fall asleep
before his lullaby was even halfway through.
Zhongli had called Kaeya a life hack.
"It feels a little illegal," Zhongli had said, his eyes wide with wonder after a screaming
Yangmei had drifted off to sleep within seconds after his luna had picked him up. "Is this
allowed? I can sleep and shave and shower without His Lordship raising the alarms to the
townspeople and accusing me of having abandoned him?"
"That's it, no more period dramas for you," Kaeya had told him, even when his eyes seemed
permanently stuck to his son's chubby pink cheeks and tiny pouty mouth.
Kaeya hadn't known true unconditional love until then. His heart felt so full, yet so
unbearably weightless at the same time, he didn't quite know what to do with himself.
Staying away from the sleeping babe was a constant struggle. He just wanted to stay close, to
make sure he was real, and he was allowed to be a part of his life.
Zhongli seemed to greatly appreciate Kaeya's help, that was for sure. He didn't look like he
was on the brink of falling apart anymore. He still looked tired, but what new parent didn't?
That was just part of the course. But at least he didn't look like he was a hop and a skip away
from crumbling into dust if the wind blew a little stronger in his general direction. He'd
regained his healthy glow, colour had returned to his cheeks, and his eyes no longer looked
dull.
Kaeya thoroughly and unabashedly enjoyed checking him out during the moments they spent
in each other's company. And though they agreed not to deviate into something more intimate
anymore, not without Ajax being aware of it at least, it wouldn't stop them from blatantly
ogling each other from across the room like a pair of lovesick teenagers.
There was a constant giddiness in the air every time they were together. It was exciting and
scary but at least now he knew it was real. Now he knew that he could allow his feelings to
blossom without guilt balling up and lodging in his throat. Now he knew that Zhongli wanted
him for him, and not because he was carrying his child.
A knock sounded on the nursery door, effectively bringing him down to the present, and
Kaeya lifted his head from where he'd been looking at the baby, at the way his tiny little
fingers wrapped around his pinky like he wanted to keep Kaeya prisoner of his little adorable
hands forever. He was sleeping peacefully, his tummy full and his nappy freshly changed, it
was the perfect recipe for a full night's rest.
"Sweetheart," Zhongli walked into the room and lowered his face to press a tiny kiss on
Yangmei's head. "I'm going out for a bit, but I shouldn't take too long. Do you need anything
from the shops?"
Kaeya stood from the big armchair, carefully not to jostle the baby too much, and padded his
way towards the crib so he could lay Yangmei down. "I'm out of scent blockers," he told
Zhongli, as he brushed his fingers over his son's rosy cheek. "I don't really want to go back
on them, but I'm reluctant to cut them off without asking Doctor Baizhu first."
Zhongli placed his hand on Kaeya's lower back. "I'll bring you some. If after your
appointment you decide you want to stop taking them, then you stop. But at least you'll have
the option."
Kaeya nodded. "I'll go with you."
The look in Zhongli's eyes almost made Kaeya cackle.
"Ah-Mei can't be alone," Zhongli pointed out, looking at the baby in the crib. "Even if he's
sleeping like a rock."
"I meant I'll come to the door with you. I wouldn't leave the baby alone, Zhongli, give me
some credit," Kaeya sighed, pushing the alpha out of the nursery lest their talking wakes the
slumbering infant. "I'll start dinner in the meantime, too. It's not going to be as delicious as
Ajax's food, but at least it's food, right?"
As they approached the front door, Zhongli paused and turned to Kaeya. "Make sure you
cook plenty."
"Hungry?" Kaeya teased, fixing Zhongli's collar after he donned his coat.
"Starving." The answer came paired with a kiss and a playful tickle on Kaeya's ribs that left
him giggling like an idiot.
By the stars, he was so far gone for this man. If only... If only Ajax was there, too. As good as
it felt to be in Zhongli's arms again, tentatively navigating this new relationship that didn't
exactly have a solid definition yet, it didn't feel complete. It felt quite bereft in fact, of Ajax's
youthful laughter and his borderline overprotective nature.
"I'll be back soon," Zhongli promised.
"Mn. Drive carefully and come home safe."
With a final little kiss, Zhongli was gone.
And Kaeya was once again alone.
As promised, he started preparing dinner, plenty of it. To see that Zhongli's appetite was
finally coming back made the omega side of Kaeya feel extremely happy. Call it instinct, or
something else but he had recently found out that he loved taking care of his... Mate?
Boyfriend? Lover?
Sugar daddy?
Kaeya sighed. This limbo of uncertainty was slowly driving him insane, but he knew he
wouldn't dare to give them a label while Ajax was still away. It wasn't right.
"I haven't told him about you," Zhongli told him a couple of nights after they arrived. They've
been talking about their situation, as they so often did in the quiet of the night when the dark
loosened their tongues and beckoned their honest thoughts forth. It had become sort of like a
ritual for them. There was so much to talk about that they'd take a few moments before
sleeping to untie another knot formed by their previous tangled web of miscommunication. It
helped them to get to know each other a little better, to understand their paths and some of the
decisions they've made.
"Why not?" Kaeya had asked, his hands absently playing with Zhonglis which were wrapped
around his waist from behind. "Do you think he is still angry? That he's not going to take it
well?"
"The contrary, in fact," Zhongli pressed a small kiss to the nape of Kaeya's neck. "I think that
he'll want to come home immediately, just to make sure that you're really here. I don't want
him to come before he feels ready, and I know he would if that meant seeing you again."
"Do you know how he's been doing?" Kaeya asked, resisting the urge to turn around in
Zhongli's arms to look at him. That was not how this thing between them worked. There was
a reason why they didn't look at each other. It was easier to be honest, it was easier not to fear
judgement.
"I spoke to his mother last night. She told me he's recovering well, that he's been out of the
danger zone for a while, now, but he's still not entirely ready to come home yet."
Kaeya remembered the relieved breath that had been released from his lungs at that moment.
When Zhongli mentioned Ajax being on the brink of becoming feral, he had thought it had
been an exaggeration.
It hadn't.
His past trauma, plus his natural attunement to his primal side, plus everything else had been
a disastrous cocktail to his mental health and his control.
Feral alphas were almost like an urban legend nowadays, but once in a blue moon it still
happened. For someone to lose themselves so completely to their instincts, to lose their sense
of identity and humanity, to entirely forget who they were, to become more beast than man. It
was a fate worse than death.
Kaeya's phone rang, calling his attention to the chicken he'd been preparing, spread open and
hollow on the metal tray, and he glanced briefly at the screen before swiping his finger over
the call button and then setting the call to loudspeaker.
"Hey, Luc!"
"Don't 'Hey, Luc!' me Kaeya Alberich! You said you'd call to let me know if I can go visit my
nephew! And here we are, Sunday evening and not even a text!"
Kaeya chuckled and poured himself a glass of white wine before he turned his attention back
to the Sweet Flower stuffing he was preparing.
"I also said I wanted to run it by his fathers first, and seeing as one of them hasn't been
present, I haven't had the opportunity yet," Kaeya explained. "I promise as soon as Ajax
returns and things settle, I'll invite you to come stay with us for a few days so you can spoil
Yangmei rotten."
"You better because you keep sending me pictures of him and he's disgustingly cute. I want to
squish his cheeks so bad, Kae. How do you do anything all day, knowing those cheeks are
right there begging to be squeezed?" Diluc let out an exaggerated sigh and Kaeya smiled to
himself.
Diluc had never been good with kids. When Klee had first met him, she'd looked at him only
briefly before she had started sobbing her little heart out. Diluc hadn't even had the chance to
do anything yet. He'd hardly opened his mouth to say hello.
Yet now, for some reason, he seemed eager to meet his nephew. It made warmth curl lovely
and sweet around Kaeya's heart.
"You're ridiculous," Kaeya laughed, so light and so, so fond.
"How's Zhongli treating you? Do I need to sharpen my knives yet?"
Kaeya took a sip of his wine and looked down at the chicken he'd been preparing. "He's been
good to me. We've been talking things through, slowly."
"You sound uncertain," Diluc pointed out.
"Everything is still tender, still fresh. It's a lot to take in," Kaeya sighed, tucking a strand of
his hair behind his ear. "Lisa says that it's normal, this insecurity I feel and that I should be
honest and open about my feelings to avoid misunderstandings again. And I'm trying. I
promise I am. It's just..."
"You're used to dealing with things on your own, so you're finding it hard to open up," Diluc
concluded, humming in understanding. "The fact that you're trying is praiseworthy in itself, I
think. I know last time you opened up to them things didn't go well for you."
"Yeah..." silence fell between them for a moment, neither knowing exactly what to say.
"Kae?"
"Mn?"
"I miss you."
His hands faltered as he stuffed the chicken. It wasn't often that Diluc was that upfront with
his feelings, and the way he'd said those words like he was afraid Kaeya would disappear
again, it made his heart clench.
"I miss you, too."
"Okay." Diluc cleared his throat. "I'll leave you to it, then. Make sure to give Yangmei a
squish for me."
"Will do," Kaeya smiled.
"Don't be a stranger."
The call ended before Kaeya could say something embarrassing. Instead, he poured the
sunsettia gravy over the chicken and slid it into the oven, trying his hardest not to think too
hard about how much he truly missed his brother and how he longed to hug him when he felt
a little lost.
Zhongli was a phenomenal hugger, but no one came even remotely close to Diluc when it
came to a proper tight embrace. His brother had years of practice from holding him since they
were old enough to lose their milk teeth. And they felt as good now as they had back then, if
not better, now that his arms were the size of small trees.
Kaeya was closing the oven when he heard the front door, followed by the ever-so-familiar
"I'm home," in Zhongli's baritone. Kaeya had asked him once if he still announced his arrival
even when Ajax was away. Zhongli had told him that he did it out of habit. Kaeya had found
that unbearably adorable.
"In here!" he called out as he wiped his hands on the apron. Zhongli's footsteps sounded
heavier than usual, a little more urgent as they carried him towards the kitchen. "Yangmei is
still asleep, so try to keep it... quiet..."
Kaeya turned to greet Zhongli, but his words faded on his lips. Ajax stood by the threshold,
eyes wide, mouth agape - and Kaeya's heart migrated to his throat.
"Angel."
It took every shred of self-control for Kaeya to keep himself upright. Many were the nights
when he'd dreamt of Ajax calling him that again. Many were the days he spent mourning the
fact that he never would. And now there he was, so close Kaeya could see the gentle matting
of freckles across his nose, yet so far he couldn't reach him.
Ajax looked tired in a bone-deep sort of way, in a way that tugged every single one of
Kaeya's most nurturing instincts and urged him to hold the young alpha close to his chest,
feed him, give him a nice relaxing bath and put him to bed. He looked pale, his lips chapped,
his hair a tangled mess, but it was his eyes that made Kaeya's chest hurt the most. There was
no shine to them, no glow, no mischief, no endless vibrant blue. Instead, they looked dim,
dark. They were dull pits where happiness went to die.
Swallowing the lump in his throat, Kaeya offered Ajax a trembling smile. He could feel the
emotion closing around his chest, choking him, a mixture of excitement and sorrow and guilt
and fear.
Ajax took a step forward, and it took all of Kaeya's focus not to take a step back in response.
His heart was warring with his instincts, warring with itself. Kaeya was stuck between
running to him and holding him close, and running away as memories of their last encounter
swirled around his mind like strong incense.
"Kaeya," Ajax said again, a broken whisper, quiet and so, so tender. "Omega."
Kaeya heard a whine, pitiful and desperate, and he couldn't tell who'd made the sound, but it
wouldn't have surprised him if it had been himself.
Watching Ajax cry had always been a surefire way to make Kaeya break, as soon as the first
tears started to fall down his cheeks, Kaeya was opening his arms, an invitation - no - a
demand.
Ajax crashed into him like the waves on the shore, an unstoppable force that took all of
Kaeya's training and balance to keep them both upright. His name had become a mantra, a
lifeline, a prayer, as it slipped so beautifully from the harbour of Ajax's lips. All pain and
regret and guilt and reverence and - and love. Kaeya didn't need to be told. He could feel it in
every syllable of his name, in every sob against his collar, in every heartbreaking shake of
Ajax's body as he clung to Kaeya like he wanted to fuse together.
The litany of 'I'm sorry,' and 'You're back! You're really, really back,' and 'Never leave again,'
and 'Kaeya Kaeya Kaeya Kaeya Kaeya,' blurred together as the man seemed to fall apart and
piece himself together at the very same time. Followed by Kaeya's soothing reassurances of
'I'm here now,' 'It's going to be okay,' and 'Cry, Ajax. Cry it out. I've got you.'
By the time Ajax started to calm down, Zhongli had already taken over the kitchen, allowing
Kaeya and Ajax to move to the living room where they were clinging to each other like
they'd turn to dust should they ever separate. Ajax was still shaking, still breathing against his
neck like he wanted to taste him, to memorize what little of his scent he could feel through
the layers of his hormonal suppressants.
Kaeya held him tight, held him close like Diluc had done with him after he'd arrived in
Mondstadt. He carded his fingers through the loose curls of Ajax's hair, gently combing
through the knots and soothing his scalp when he accidentally tugged too hard.
It felt like a small eternity before Ajax pulled back enough to meet Kaeya's eyes. "Will you
stay forever?"
He sounded so vulnerable, so akin to a scared child, that Kaeya felt his tears brim in his eyes.
Ajax, who always seemed so sure of himself, who always pranced around the room like a
prideful stallion, who walked into a new place like he owned it. Ajax who now looked at
Kaeya as though he'd fall and crumble all over again if Kaeya ever rejected the idea of
staying.
Like leaving was ever an option.
"If you will have me," he quietly said, a promise whispered just for Ajax, a reassurance he
knew his love needed so desperately.
"Forever, then," Ajax decided, cradling Kaeya's cheeks between his fingers and pressing a
soft kiss to Kaeya's lips.
"Forever," Kaeya promised, his eyes fluttering closed as Ajax gently peppered his face with
tiny little kisses, over his forehead, along his temples, down his cheeks, and finally, over his
eyelids.
It was worth more than a written contract. Good. Kaeya had had enough of that for a lifetime.
"Bǎobèi," Zhongli called. He stepped into the living room with quiet feet, his hand very
carefully finding home in the curve of Ajax's shoulder. "It's been a long day for you. You had
to get up early for your trip, and everyone knows train food isn't satisfying. So come. Let's
eat and then you can shower and relax."
Ajax frowned, looking between Zhongli and Kaeya like he wasn't sure he should move even
though logically what his husband was saying made sense.
"I'm not going anywhere, remember?" Kaeya reassured him. "I can even join you in the bath
after we eat if you want. And then we can cuddle in our nest. How does that sound?"
"Our nest," Ajax smiled, tiny and still hesitant, but a smile. And then, after a little happy
purring sound, "Our nest. Mn. Let's eat."
×
Kaeya looked at the wall opposite his bed, at the shadows of the traffic rushing by far below,
of the billowing curtains that swayed in the night breeze. He was cocooned safely within
Ajax's arms. It was familiar and comforting, Kaeya fit in there like he'd been tailor-made for
Ajax to hold.
"Have I ever told you why we decided that Zhongli would be the one to sire our children?"
Ajax asked, his voice quiet in the dark. After eating and showering, Zhongli had ushered the
three of them to bed where they could relax together and talk, their little nightly ritual finally
complete now that their missing piece was back.
"I never questioned it," Kaeya murmured, his fingers travelling the length of Ajax's forearms
where they wrapped around his middle. "And after finding out about Zhongli's lineage I just
assumed that was the motive."
"Trust me, if Ajax had been the one to sire the future heirs of my family - especially the
firstborn, my grandmother would have had an aneurysm. It would have been perfect,"
Zhongli snorted from behind them.
"You will have to allow her to visit Yangmei at some point," Ajax pointed out before
yawning against the back of Kaeya's neck.
"I see you found yourself a sense of humour in Snezhnaya," Zhongli clicked his tongue,
annoyance bleeding through his tone. "She won't have the opportunity to touch a single hair
on his head if I have any say about it. Matriarch or not, after the humiliation she put you
through before our wedding, she's lucky I haven't renounced my titles yet."
Kaeya turned his head slightly, his brows arching with curiosity. "There's a story there, but
let's leave it for some other time," he snuggled back against Ajax's chest. "Why did you
decide to let Zhongli sire your children?"
"The short version is, I can't have kids," the words were followed by a deep sigh that tickled
the back of Kaeya's neck. "Before we decided to go through with a surrogacy, we made a
fuck ton of fertility tests, and, well, there's not much there, and what little there is, is not
really viable."
Kaeya's heart ached for Ajax. For someone who came from such a large family, to find out
that he couldn't have his own biological children must have been a hard blow to take.
No wonder Ajax had been so protective of Yangmei. Their son must have been the very
definition of a miracle for him, the impossible made possible through his husband and the
surrogate they'd so carefully handpicked. To know just how much his son meant to him made
Kaeya's heart tight with an emotion he couldn't quite describe.
"I'm sorry," Kaeya breathed, his fingers lacing with Ajax's, whether to comfort himself or
Ajax, he wasn't sure.
"Don't be. If anyone is to blame is my grandfather, and my father for perpetuating his
legacy," Ajax sucked in a deep breath, and slowly, slowly released it. "Morepesok used to be
a small seaside village. My father's family held most of the power there. We grew up with
stories about how my grandfather owned the biggest fishing fleet in the village, and how he'd
built our family's riches from that."
"That sounds kinda nice, actually," Kaeya commented. "Very idyllic."
"Doesn't it?" Ajax chuckled. "Pity it was all a lie. Dedushka might have started as a humble
fisherman, but he'd also become the founder of the biggest underground net of illegal fighting
arenas in Snezhnaya."
The curtains settled down as the wind paused for a moment. The entire room fell into a
deadly stillness like the air itself refused to stir.
Zhongli was the first to speak. "Ajax, you never told me any of this."
"I know. I've been trying to... It's not easy reliving the past." Ajax cleared his throat. "The net
has dismantled years ago after my father's disappearance. Many of the members have moved
on to join other groups, and many more were either imprisoned, killed or went into hiding.
My mother was pregnant with Teucer when he went missing. It's been, er... Almost thirteen
years now?"
"Does this correlate with your trauma?" Zhongli asked, settling back down. Kaeya felt Ajax
shift back and he guessed he was leaning closer to Zhongli's comfort. "Because you don't
have to-"
"I do. It's been long enough, Li. It took almost losing myself to realise that you and Kaeya,
more than anyone, should know why I am the way that I am. It took me a long time to
understand it myself. I was just happy that it was over." Ajax fell into silence for a moment,
perhaps to better gather his thoughts, perhaps to brace himself before digging into his past
and exposing his wounds to his husband and Kaeya. Then, he cleared his throat and held
Kaeya a little tighter.
"You see, my grandfather had a taste for blood - not his own, mind you. So he created his
own underground fight club, made his money by hosting betting polls, and charging signup
fees. Everyone could participate or they could sponsor their own fighters. At some point he
started participating himself, or rather, he started training his own army. But natural-born
fighters didn't make a fortune. He experimented on whoever was closest: random kids he
found in the streets, his own children, his children's children.
"As soon as I started showing dominant behaviours, they had me tested to gauge my subgender. And when the results confirmed that I was alpha, they took me away to the Lab to
start the 'training'. They'd strip us down and inject us with hormonal drugs we did not know
the name of in an attempt to enhance our primal responses, to force us into a rut. A violent
alpha would always be much more efficient than a half a dozen betas."
"Morax's golden scales," Zhongli whispered, his voice betraying the pain.
"They'd starve us, isolate us for a couple of days in locked rooms, and then they'd gather us
all in the arena, and force us to fight for a meal. We weren't even old enough to know what an
erection was, but so long as we were triggered into a rut, they'd be content. The bloodier the
fight, the better, " Ajax paused, and Kaeya could feel his breath slow and deep against his
skin. It seemed like he was slowly letting go of a burden that had been weighing on his
shoulders for too long. Finally, his hold started loosening around Kaeya's middle. "The drugs
they used on us messed us up, and because of it I am now unable to have my own biological
children."
Kaeya disregarded the unspoken rules of their agreement and turned around in Ajax's arms,
his face leaning up so he could press a small, comforting kiss to his chin. What Ajax needed
now was comfort, love, affection, and he'd be damned if he was going to prioritise anything
else in that moment.
He still couldn't find his words. What could anyone say to something like that? Hearing part
of Ajax's story made Kaeya feel like his entire existence had been a swim in the ocean in
comparison.
"No wonder your ruts are so violent," Kaeya heard Zhongli say, their eyes briefly meeting
over Ajax's shoulder. "How did it end?"
"After my grandfather died, my father took over the business. But he lacked my grandfather's
intelligence. He started slipping up, he became too greedy. My older brothers Ilya, Dmitri and
Sasha and my sister Yevgenia were also competing. Of the five of us, only Ilya and I survived
the fights. Yevgenia didn't even make it through her first fight. After that, Ilya, being the
second oldest after Sasha, swore to us that he'd take care of us, that he'd find a way to get us
out. So he contacted the police."
"Did they believe him?" Kaeya asked, looking up at Ajax. "It's such an outlandish story, I can
see them doubting the veracity of his information."
"Mn, they didn't believe him at first, but Ilya started telling them the names of the missing
children in the area, including those who had gone missing but were still unidentified. They'd
all been picked up by my father's men to train and fight. And from there the police took over
the case. They ambushed one of the clubs, and it was a bloodbath. Many of the fighters
started helping the police, but it was hard to tell who was who, and between gunshots and a
bunch of alphas in the midst of their ruts, it was messy and violent and terrifying. But there
was also hope, for those of us who'd been trapped in the system for a while. I was fourteen
when the nightmare ended. And I don't remember ever feeling relief the way I did that night."
Ajax was shaking in Kaeya's embrace, his hands trembling as they grasped at the fabric of his
shirt. Kaeya knew what he was seeing. It was the same as what Kaeya saw, too, every time he
remembered killing his mother's husband. He was there, the colours and the sounds and the
smells and the memories were so vibrant it was like he was transported back in time and was
reliving it all over again.
"Remind me to thank your brother the next time I see him," Zhongli said, his voice soothing,
warm and grounding. "I'm happy that you're here now, my love, that you're safe. You're
where you belong."
"I'm home," Ajax smiled, his eyes slowly regaining their shine. "Kaeya, I know I scared you.
I was trained to turn my negative emotions into anger, to use them as fuel, as a weapon,
showing weakness in the arena could cost me my life, and unlearning that behaviour has been
my biggest challenge since I started going to therapy, years ago. The stress of a new baby, of
trying to figure out my feelings for you, of watching you distance yourself from us, it
culminated into me losing control. Bear in mind, I'm not making excuses for my behaviour,
I'm telling you how my brain works."
"Ajax," Kaeya met his eyes, slender fingers brushing the wild strands of his hair away from
his face, still slightly damp from the bath he'd taken earlier.
"I know I still have a lot to work through, and I can't promise I'll never scare you like that
again, but I can promise I will work hard to do better for you, for Yangmei. Zhongli was right
in wanting to give you your space after you left. We all needed some distance to think about
everything, even if it almost cost me my humanity. I think we'd never be here, together
talking things through, if we hadn't spent this time apart." Ajax reached backwards to take
one of Zhongli's hands in his and bring it up to softly kiss his fingers. "Thank you for not
giving up on me, Li. I love you."
"I love you, too, Ajax," Zhongli quietly said. He pressed a kiss to the back of Ajax's head and
held him just a little closer. "Thank you for trusting us with your story. It can't have been
easy."
"It was easier than I thought it would be actually. I should have done this a long time ago,"
Ajax told him, his lips pursed. "And Kaeya, I know this isn't nearly enough to make up for
what I've done, and that I should have realised it sooner, but I do lov-"
Quick as lightning, Kaeya brought his hand up and pressed it against Ajax's lips, effectively
cutting off his words. Ajax's eyebrows shot up in surprise, his head tilting with puzzlement.
"Today has been sufficiently emotionally charged," Kaeya told him, his hand sliding off
Ajax's lips to cup his cheek instead. "Is this how you want to confess to me, Ajax?"
Zhongli chuckled behind them and Kaeya smiled along with him.
"No," Ajax confessed, a hint of his impish grin showing on his lips. "Not at all. I just want to
say it before Zhongli does."
"Who said I haven't already?"
"You wouldn't. Not without me here. I know you," Ajax smiled, turning his head enough to
press a kiss to Zhongli's jaw. "We should go on a date. The three of us. It's time we own up
and treat our omega right."
Kaeya felt the heat of embarrassment rising to his face, his cheeks burning at the implications
a date with them would mean. A date with Zhongli and Ajax, bringing Kaeya out and
courting him would be the closest thing to publicly claiming him as they could do. Though
Kaeya desperately wanted that, he also worried about the repercussions of public opinion. If
people saw them and recognised them - which was more likely than not, would Zhongli and
Ajax then find themselves in the middle of a fresh scandal?
He didn't want that. He didn't want to tarnish their names, to ruin their reputations. Worse,
even, would his involvement with them discredit their relationship? Zhongli had told Kaeya
about how difficult it was to get the approval of his family when he proposed to Ajax, due to
his rank as alpha. Would bringing an omega into the picture validate that two alphas could
not feel happy and fulfilled unless an omega was involved?
"Kaeya, you've gone quiet again," Zhongli called, his hand letting go of Ajax's so he could
reach across him to touch Kaeya's shoulder. "Sweetheart, you don't have to say yes if that's
not what you want. We can take our time, even though we do want to court you properly, it
doesn't have to be now. There's still a lot we need to fix before we're ready for that."
"That's not..." Kaeya sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I just don't want to bring you
trouble, that's all. You're important figures in Liyue. The people-"
"Can go fuck themselves."
"Ajax!" Zhongli gasped, before breaking into laughter.
"If Zhongli cared about what the people had to say, he wouldn't have married me. Whatever
thoughts you're having, I've had them too. Reputation, public opinion, family approval,
repercussions with other nations. I've feared them too. And you know what I did, Kaeya?"
"What did you do?" he asked, looking up at Ajax.
"I married his luscious ass anyway."
"It is a very nice ass," Kaeya agreed, smiling. He had to hide his face in Ajax's chest in an
attempt to tone down his blushing cheeks.
"You two are ridiculous," Zhongli chuckled, light and so sweet, Kaeya wanted to save the
sound in his brain, in his heart. "But Ajax isn't wrong. The people don't have to live our lives
for us, they don't get to know what it feels like when a piece of us is missing. I care deeply
about the people of Liyue, but not enough to sacrifice my happiness. Not again. It is not
worth it"
Kaeya smiled, taking the hand Zhongli had placed on his shoulder and pressing light kisses to
his fingertips, one by one, and a final one on the inside of his wrist.
"Okay. Then we'll go on a date."
"Fuck yeah! I'm going to spoil you rotten, just you wait," Ajax's arms tightened so much
around Kaeya, he could barely breathe. He was about to tickle Ajax to get him to let go when
the baby monitor went off.
"I'll go!" Ajax said, wriggling off the bed. "I missed my little screaming banshee."
"He needs a nappy change by the sound of it," Kaeya commented as he stretched on the bed,
a big yawn crawling up his jaw. "Hurry back."
Ajax paused, looking at Kaeya with a frown. "You have to teach me that cheat code. We've
been playing on hardcore mode for so long, and then in comes this god of babies with all the
tricks and tips, I am disgusted..."
Kaeya watched him leave, stirring only when Zhongli closed the gap between them and
wrapped his arms around his middle.
"You should rest, darling. It's been a long day."
"Mn," Kaeya agreed. "I'll wait for Ajax first."
"Don't. Knowing him, he's going to spend all night with Yangmei, just looking at his cute
cheeks and reassuring himself that his son doesn't hate him," Zhongli kissed Kaeya's
shoulder. "Now rest, he's home now. We're all here, where we belong."
Chapter End Notes
Hiatus still ongoing. But have this treat for now.
As always a big thank you to @temporalsilence for being the most patient beta in the
world and for putting up with my bs. ♥
It doesn't hurt anymore
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Kaeya pushed his hair away from his face and wiped the sweat off his brow with the sleeve
of his shirt. They were smack in the middle of autumn, but the weather was still pleasantly
warm. Warm enough that Ajax had decided to wake them up at the ass-crack of dawn to 'go
on an adventure'.
Kaeya had considered murder for a solid five minutes before Zhongli pushed a mug of coffee
into his hands and urged him to drink. It was easier to remember that he was helplessly in
love with Ajax after he'd had his morning dose of caffeine. Even if Yangmei had kept them
up all night with teething pains.
Kaeya had volunteered to stay up to allow Zhongli and Ajax to rest properly after their work
week, but in the end he had been the one who hadn't fallen into slumber's embrace, rendering
him absolutely stupid for the day to come.
The ride to "It's a surprise, angel! Where's your sense of adventure?" had felt thrice as long as
it had actually been, between Yangmei crying the entire time, and Zhongli arguing with the
GPS and Kaeya's migraine growing by the minute. In actuality, they'd arrived to Mt. Aocang
National Park before lunchtime. By the time they'd arrived, Kaeya had managed to calm
Yangmei enough to keep him from piercing their eardrums with his screeching wails, but his
mood had declined considerably since he'd downed his coffee just hours before.
Now, he sat by the lake under the cool shade of a massive sandbearer tree, his legs dipped
into the water while Yangmei sat on his lap, tiny chubby feet splashing happily around. He
had one of his arms looped around the baby's torso to keep him from tipping into the lake, but
the delighted giggles every time he splashed Kaeya with water were enough to soothe his
previous bad humour. It was impossible to be grumpy when looking at that gummy smile.
"I thought there would be more families around here today. It's a weekend and the park is
deserted," Kaeya commented, looking over his shoulder at where Zhongli was taking their
food out of the picnic basket and neatly arranging it atop a round stone table.
Ajax, who had just returned from gathering firewood, dropped the dry sticks and leaves by
the outdoor grill and clapped his hands together to brush off the dirt. "What are you talking
about? Mt. Aocang is private property. It's a National reserve due to its historical value and
the amount of protected flora and fauna species that live here, but otherwise it belongs to the
Leong family."
Kaeya closed his eyes and leaned his head back to welcome the sun, basking in its warmth on
his skin. "Of course it does," he sniffed out a half-laughter. It was easy to forget how
painfully powerful Zhongli's family was when the man himself spent almost two hours
complaining about his PC being broken before he had realised his monitor had been off the
entire time.
"Mt. Aocang is a sacred place for our family. It is believed that it was the place where Morax,
the First Adeptus, first descended. And because we're believed to be Morax's direct
descendants, it has stayed in the family for generations," Zhongli clarified as he pulled a
bottle of water from the basket.
Kaeya hummed, tugging the little bucket hat on Yangmei's head to shield his pretty eyes from
the sun. "I thought Rex Lapis was the First Adeptus," he mused.
"Rex Lapis is... more like a title," handing the bottle to Kaeya, Zhongli took a seat next to
him. "Think of it like this, Morax was his name, Rex Lapis his title, and First Adeptus his
role. Of course, all of this is legend. There's very little existing documentation from back then
that actually supports Morax's existence. It is said that he was expelled from his celestial
home and cursed to live among mortals. He descended in the body of a dragon, sent to
protect those who could not protect themselves. They weren't expecting Morax to actually
enjoy his time in the mortal realm. Guess they didn't know him half as well as they thought.
Good for him."
"What did he do to be kicked out?" Kaeya asked, handing Yangmei over to Zhongli so he
could lean back on his hands and bask in the sun.
Zhongli smiled and pressed his nose to Yangmei's, which coaxed the baby to let out a string
of shrill giggles that made Kaeya wince a little.
"Morax fell in love with the moon," Ajax told him as he fanned the coals in the grill.
Kaeya turned to look at him, his head tilted. "A romantic, was he?"
"An idiot, in fact. Every month he tried to steal it for himself, wrapping his body around it
until the mortal realm was plunged into complete darkness. The mortals called this
phenomenon, 'Lunar Cycles.' Fed up with his behaviour, he was cast out of Celestia," Zhongli
smirked. "Imagine that, A night sky without a moon. Or only half a moon. Sounds silly,
doesn't it?"
Kaeya giggled. It did sound a little ridiculous. Kaeya couldn't even fathom walking at night
without the bright company of the moon at his back, without its light guiding him.
"In Khaenri'ah, the Moon and her Stars are worshipped like deities almost," Kaeya mused as
he absently scratched his itchy nose. "They're symbols of life and fertility. It's why omega
parents are bestowed the title of Luna when they have their firstborns. I know there's a
ceremony to it, but I don't remember if I learned about it or not. I was far too little. I know
mama only allowed me to call her luna at home."
"Why?" asked Ajax, pausing his cooking to briefly glance at Kaeya. "It's an awesome title."
"It's also a Khaenri'ah identifier. She was a fugitive, remember?" Kaeya told him.
"Right."
The wind picked up, late autumn leaves swirling in the breeze and landing delicately upon
the surface of the water. Kaeya watched it ripple, wider and wider until it calmed down again.
The scent of grilled meat started curling around them, enticing and mouth-watering, and
Kaeya smiled to himself.
This inner peace he was feeling was not something he was used to. There was no heaviness in
his chest, no thrum of anxiety knocking at the walls of his skull, no iron-tight grip of guilt
sinking into his heart. There was only the sizzling of grilled food, the constsnt clumsy
babbling of his baby and the chirping of the birds. Kaeya wished he could stop time and live
in that moment forever.
Kaeya hadn't realised he'd fallen asleep until Zhongli's fingers were running through his hair,
gently coaxing him into consciousness again. "Sweetheart."
"Mm-no," Kaeya protested, turning his head and finding that at some point Zhongli had
moved himself so Kaeya was resting his head on his thigh. "Dun' wanna."
"But Ajax made food."
Kaeya sat up, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands as he yawned the sleep away. He
looked around, searching for his son, only to see him peacefully sleeping in his little pram.
He felt nowhere near rested enough to compensate for the previous night, but Zhongli was
massaging his shoulders, and Kaeya was melting into the touch.
"Seduce your local Kaeya with food," Ajax chuckled from where he was sitting at the stone
table, his chin propped upon his hand as he looked at Kaeya and Zhongli. "Some things never
change."
Feeling sleepy and incredibly relaxed, Kaeya stood up on unsteady legs and dragged his feet
towards Ajax, before unceremoniously sitting on his lap. Ajax's hand briefly came up to
steady him, before settling on Kaeya's thigh.
"Feed me," he demanded, looking at the spread of grilled meat and assorted side dishes the
couple had prepared for them before leaving home. How he had missed them arranging so
much food was a mystery. There were salads, chopped veggies in soy sauce, bowls of
couscous with a dozen different spices, and everything looked so good Kaeya's mouth
watered.
"Hungry?" Ajax asked, his voice dipping in tone at least an octave, the hand on Kaeya's thigh
moving absently up and down. "I see where Yangmei gets his appetite from."
"You, my love," said Zhongli as he joined them at the table. "No one's appetite is as
voracious as yours."
Ajax chuckled, as he stabbed a small piece of meat with his fork, and brought it to Kaeya's
mouth. "Be a good boy and eat up."
"I'm always a good boy," Kaeya pouted, but he accepted the small morsel anyway, a little
pleased moan forming in his throat. "It's so tender."
Ajax seemed pleased at that, and kept feeding him small bites until Kaeya had to physically
move away so he wouldn't feel stuffed later on. It made sense, now, Ajax's relationship with
food and why he always seemed so intent in keeping everyone well-fed. He'd turned his
trauma into a way of keeping his family happy and healthy.
A gentle flush climbed up his cheeks. There was something incredibly attractive about Ajax's
nurturing side. Maybe because he cared for his family with so much dedication, without
inhibitions. It was the way he never complained about tending to Yangmei, no matter how
tired he was or how early in the morning. It was the way he had spent almost a full week
searching for the manufacturer of Kaeya's favourite towel, so he could replace every towel in
the house, after Kaeya commented off-handedly about it to Zhongli. It was the way he always
had a cup of strong tea or black coffee ready to push into Kaeya's hand no matter how late
he'd woken up.
He shifted a little in Ajax's lap, and reached for his drink in an attempt to distract himself a
little, but as he did, he felt Ajax's hand tighten its grip on his thigh, followed by a hiss against
the back of his neck.
"Don't tease unless you're going to do something about it," Ajax warned, spidery fingers
gliding along Kaeya's thigh until they loosely came to rest over his groin, not cupping, not
touching, just draped there like an afterthought.
"Yangmei is right there," Kaeya pointed out, like it wasn't obvious enough.
"He is also asleep," Ajax said, lightly running his teeth along the curve of Kaeya's neck,
before lightly pressing his tongue flat against his gland and sucking it lightly. "One day, we're
going to mark you right here. And then everyone will know that our pretty omega has given
us the privilege of claiming him for ourselves."
A violent shudder ran down his back and he jerked forward. It felt far too good to be legal.
Both the affections and Ajax's words crawled over his skin, down his spine and curled lovely
and warm in the coiling depths of his core, where arousal slowly stirred from its deep
slumber.
Zhongli, the smug bastard, chuckled as he brought his cup of cool tea up to his lips, as though
Ajax getting Kaeya worked up in what was essentially the Temple of Morax was something
he did every Saturday after brunch.
Kaeya glared at Zhongli. "Aren't you supposed to tame him or something? Put him on a
leash!"
"Kinky," Purred Ajax, his smile pressed against the sharp edge of Kaeya's jaw. "Do you want
me to bark, too?"
"He's a menace to society!"
"Kaeya. My starshine. If I wanted 'tame' I wouldn't have married Ajax, and I wouldn't have
tried to bring you back home to us," Zhongli told him, his head tilting to the side. "I don't
want tame, I want you. Besides, it's about time we discuss where we want to take this
courtship of ours, isn't it?"
Kaeya stilled, his hands dropping from where they've been half-heartedly trying to keep
Ajax's from sliding under his shirt and touch directly on his skin. Though his entire body
craved to be touched like that again, there was a conflict with his mind, like the tiniest voice
telling him shyly, "It's too soon."
So Kaeya held onto Ajax's wrists, brought them up to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to his
palms before letting go of him again. "I don't think I'm quite ready for that yet," he told him.
Ajax easily nodded, a bright smile on his freckled face, and he kissed Kaeya's shoulder
before asking. "Cuddles?"
"Yeah," Kaeya conceded, relaxing back into Ajax's embrace. "Yeah, that sounds perfect."
Zhongli, who at some point had set his teacup down, had been observing them intently, ready
to intervene should the situation call for it. When Ajax rested his chin over Kaeya's head and
merely wrapped his arms around his middle, Zhongli smiled, relaxing again. "Thank you, for
telling us your boundaries."
"Thank you for listening," Kaeya sighed. "I do have a question, though."
"Yes?"
"What exactly do you mean when you... When you mention courting me?" Kaeya asked,
brows furrowed, his eyes focused on a little divot in the stone table. "With your marriage and
your bloodline, I want to know what... I mean you're... I think that what I'm trying to ask is-"
"We're in love with you, Kaeya," The words were blunt, factual, Zhongli's eyes firm on
Kaeya's. There was determination there but also vulnerability. This was the first time either of
them have given their feelings a proper name, and when the name was Love, people tended to
strip themselves off their walls and expose the tender nature of their hearts.
"It took me far too long to understand that it was, in fact, possible to feel like this about more
than one person at a time," Ajax mused, his arms tightening just a little around Kaeya's waist.
"I mean, Zhongli has had experience with polyamory before, but I haven't."
"You have?" Kaeya asked, curiosity and maybe a hint of jealousy scratching the insides of his
mind. "Sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"Guizhong and I were married. We loved each other well enough. We grew up knowing that
one day we'd be wedded, so I suppose part of us always knew to love the other at least a little.
But then she met Havria," Zhongli said, his lips fondly smiling at the memory. "Our
friendship and our love and respect for each other were solid, so she felt safe telling me that
she met someone she'd come to love as well - not instead, but as well. I could see how happy
Havria made her, so I suggested, why not both? So Guizhong proposed the idea to her lover,
and we ended up with this arrangement."
"Were you and Havria involved too?" Kaeya asked, resting his chin on his hand.
"No. We became close friends, and we both cared deeply for Guizhong, but we weren't
involved romantically. After Guizhong's passing, Havria fell into despair. She experienced
what I believe to be a- a fall? You might know the term better than I do. The omega
equivalent of an alpha turning feral?"
Kaeya's eyes widened, a cold shudder rushing down his spine. Kaeya knew well what
Zhongli was mentioning. He'd almost experienced it himself after arriving in Mondstadt,
though he'd noticed no one around him had dared to even suggest the idea at the time. "She
dropped?"
"Yes, that's it! I tried to keep in contact with her, but eventually her family admitted her into a
mental facility. Last I head of her, she was still there, but she'd made no progress. That was
before I met Ajax. Then her family asked me to stay away from her, seeing as I was part of
the problem. Had I never encouraged their relationship-"
"Bullshit," Ajax said. Kaeya didn't need to look at him to know that he was frowning. "If
anything, Guizhong is the one responsible for everything."
"Ajax. No matter how wrong she might have been, she still was someone dear to Zhongli.
Take care with your words," Kaeya told him, lacing their fingers together.
"Had she told Zhongli that she was pregnant, she would have gotten the proper care that she
needed when she went into labour," Ajax clicked his tongue.
Kaeya frowned. "Wait, you didn't know?"
"Guizhong had tokophobia. She was terrified of pregnancy and childbirth, so she did her best
to hide it from me and Havria. That, paired with the fact that she didn't show until the very
end, where she put on a bit of weight, I was completely oblivious. We weren't intimate often,
and we had an agreement to have our separate rooms in the house, so she could have her
privacy when Havria visited. It was quite easy for her to hide her pregnancy from me,"
Zhongli said, looking forlorn, sad.
Kaeya could only imagine what Zhongli went through the day Guizhong went into labour. To
learn that he was going to be a father and to have his wife and child taken from him, all in the
span of a few hours. No wonder he'd looked so anxious the day Yangmei was born.
Kaeya gently pried Ajax's arms from around him and slipped off his lap so he could go to
Zhongli's side and give him a tight hug. To his surprise, Zhongli turned his head and
burrowed his nose into Kaeya's stomach, before his long arms looped loosely around his hips.
"You asked what we meant when we told you we wanted to court you, well, this is what we
want," Ajax pointed out, motioning at Zhongli and how he was slowly relaxing in Kaeya's
arms. "We want you here with us. We feel safer when you're around. We feel loved. We feel
like the world makes sense, like everything hurts a little less. I love you, Kaeya, truly. It took
me time to accept it, to stop feeling like my growing feelings for you meant that I was
betraying my husband. I didn't love him any less. I just loved you, too. And I didn't
understand what that meant. It was confusing, and scary and only when Zhongli told me that
polyamory was something that existed and it was as valid as our monogamous relationship,
well, only then did I start to understand what loving you entailed."
The sound that broke past his lips was much like a mixture between a sob and a laugh, his
heart so full of love, of hope, of genuine happiness he didn't know what to do with himself.
He was trembling, his hands trying to wipe the tears from his face because things like this
didn't happen to people like him. Hearing Ajax saying those words, so unashamed, so sincere,
it caused the swarm of butterflies living in his stomach to take flight once more. He'd dreamt
about that moment, about hearing them saying that he was loved, that they felt the same, that
they wanted him to be a part of their family, not because he was pregnant, or because he was
beautiful, but because they wanted Kaeya himself. Just Kaeya, the silly man who liked to
dance and had mental health issues and didn't know how to spell 'miscellaneous' without
looking it up online.
"Too soon?" Asked Zhongli, standing up from his seat to cradle Kaeya's face between his
hands, his thumbs so delicately brushing away his tears. "Should we have waited a little
longer?"
"I never- I never dared to hope to hear you say it at all," Kaeya confessed, sniffling. "My love
for you has been burning so intensely in my chest for so long I never thought it would stop
hurting. But right now it doesn't. It doesn't hurt anymore, Zhongli."
"I'd ask why you haven't said anything," Ajax said, slowly joining them under the shade of
the tree. "But our circumstances were very confusing at the time. I understand now, how
confusing it must have been for you, how affectionate we were with you, knowing we were
married to each other and seemingly unavailable. Knowing you were living with us because
you were carrying our child. You were under a contract, and we overstepped so many
boundaries the lines became really blurred."
"It's in the past, now," Kaeya sighed, grabbing Ajax by the wrist so he could tug him into
their little group hug. "Just... Just hold me for a while. I don't know for sure I'm not dreaming
yet."
So hold him they did, sandwiching Kaeya within their arms, peppering his cheeks and face
with little kisses.
"Do you want me to pinch your butt?"
"Ajax, you goblin, I will punch you in the jaw."
"You love me though," Ajax teased.
"I do," Kaeya said, his head resting upon Zhongli's chest. "Stars help me, I do."
×
The little girl sitting in the corner of Doctor Baizhu's home office hadn't stopped staring at
him since he had walked in. Her eyes were the brightest shade of violet he'd seen, and her
little legs were kicking a foot above the ground as she held her little milk carton between her
hands.
Kaeya hadn't even noticed she was there, she'd been so quiet, until the moment she spoke and
nearly frightened Kaeya half to death.
"You're very blue," she'd said. "Like a little finch."
"You like finches?" Kaeya asked his hand still on his chest where it felt like his heart was still
looking for its way back from where it had temporarily lodged in his throat.
"Finches are... cute. Mama said he'd give me one."
"For your birthday?"
She nodded.
"I'm sure you'll take good care of it, then."
She'd given him a small, secret smile and fallen silent again, but her eyes kept following his
every move as he tried to relax into his chair. Eventually, the door opened and in came Doctor
Baizhu, looking a little dishevelled but smiling just as kindly as he had in the past. Then he
stopped in his tracks and let out a tiny sigh.
"Qiqi, how often have I asked you to not come in here while I'm working?"
The little girl, Qiqi, blinked up at him and held out her little milk carton. "No cocogoat milk
in the fridge, mama."
The man let out a tiny grunt and beckoned his daughter closer. "We'll go shopping after I talk
to Mister Alberich, okay? Go get dressed and wait for me to be done here."
"Oh. Okay," Qiqi strolled to the door and struggled to open it for a moment. Then she turned
to Kaeya again. "Bye bye, blue finch."
"Bye bye, Qiqi," Kaeya waved at her, and then she was gone.
Doctor Baizhu tried to fix his hair into a high ponytail, his hands working quick and
efficiently as he walked around his desk and took a seat.
"I apologise for Qiqi, and again, for not being able to see you at the clinic. Like I have
explained on the phone, the entire electrical system has fried and we've been trying to get it
fixed but it's been taking its time. I'm hoping that next time we meet it'll be in my office
there, and not here."
Kaeya sat up a little straighter and crossed his legs the way he used to when Crepus was
telling them something important.
"It happens, don't worry," Kaeya smiled, tilting his head towards the door. "Your daughter is
adorable, by the way. She really seems to like birds."
"I made the mistake of promising I'd give her a finch, hoping she would forget about it, but it
seems she hasn't. I'm not looking forward to the noise, if I may be honest." Doctor Baizhu
adjusted the glasses on his nose. "Anyway, Mister Alberich-"
"Just... Just Kaeya, please."
"Right. Kaeya, I've taken a look at the exams you've brought me from Mondstadt following
your uterine infection. Are you aware of their meaning?"
"I've been told I may experience difficulty conceiving outside of my heat cycles, but I would
like to hear your opinion, too. I trust you and your judgement," Kaeya told him, his hands
nervously fidgeting with his sleeves.
"Well, that assessment isn't entirely wrong," Doctor Baizhu flipped through the pages of
Kaeya's medical records. "Have you experienced any heats since your pregnancy?"
"I have not."
The doctor stopped reading to glance up at Kaeya from over the rim of his eyeglasses. "How
soon after pregnancy have you started taking suppressants again?"
"Um... Maybe four months?"
There was a pause, long and heavy. "Kaeya, when was the last time you had a proper heat?"
He swallowed dryly. "Maybe a few years ago?"
"How many is a few?"
"Five? Six? My last heat I-" he pursed his lips, feeling much like he was walking on a tight
rope without a safety net. "I was sort of homeless for a few weeks before I turned nineteen. I
couldn't afford medication so this heat came out of nowhere. I was hiding away in an alley
when this omega girl heard me and she brought me to her home. She kept me company,
helped when she could, kept me fed and safe. Hadn't Mona found me when she did I fear
what might have happened to me."
"You are aware of how unhealthy it is for an omega to constantly suppress their heats, right?
Knowing what I know now, it is nothing short of a miracle that you've been able to get
pregnant with Yangmei on your first try." Doctor Baizhu took off his glasses and pressed the
heels of his hands to his eyes. "I understand that Mister Zhongli and Childe Ajax are
currently courting you."
"That is correct."
"I must ask you, then, do you intend on carrying more children for them at all? Is that
something you want to do in the future?"
Kaeya looked down at his lap, at the rips on the knees of his black jeans. Would he want
more kids with them? Kaeya thought about Ajax and his big family, he thought about Zhongli
and his loss, and he thought about Yangmei and his little gummy smile.
Had he been asked a year ago if he wanted kids he would have balked at the thought. Kaeya
had been so focused on following someone else's dream that nothing else had mattered to
him. But now, imagining Ajax surrounded by their children, Yangmei teaching them all the
mischievous tricks as a good big brother should, Zhongli patiently teaching them about
whales or the fabric dyeing industry of Sumeru, or some other random bullshit.
Kaeya wanted that. And he knew his mates would want that too.
"I think it's a little early right now, but it's definitely something I'd like to do in the future,
yes."
"Very well. Here's the situation, then. Fertility-wise, you're surprisingly okay, despite your
severe infection. Your egg production is high even under the effects of the suppressants
you've been taking. However the problem lies in your uterus. Your first pregnancy after the
infection will be the riskier. There will be a high risk of miscarriage, we'll have to treat it as a
high-risk pregnancy from the moment the results come positive. Am I making myself clear?"
Kaeya nodded. He was soaking up the words like a sponge. Every bit of information was
welcome if he wanted to give Ajax and Zhongli the future they had envisioned for
themselves.
"You'll probably be bedridden for most of the gestation period. Depending on how that
pregnancy goes, the others should be easier. If you deliver safely, and give your body time to
heal this time around before you go on a hiking trip halfway across the nation," Doctor
Baizhu said pointedly, the disappointment and disapproval in his voice almost palpable, "then
any pregnancies that follow should go smoothly. Still risky, but not life-threatening. Think of
it as breaking a bone that healed wrong in order to put it back in place. It's always going to
bear the scars, but it'll be stronger after it heals."
"I see. What about the..." Kaeya cleared his throat, discomfort obvious in the way he kept
shifting in his seat. "The conceiving part?"
"Conceiving outside your oestrus cycles isn't going to be impossible, but highly unlikely. And
not advisable. What we're going to do, though, is to take you off your suppressants and scent
blockers. If you want to conceive at all you must allow your uterus to go through the process
of experiencing your cycles again. I'm going to take you off all your current medication, and
put you on birth control instead. No more suppressing your body's natural cycles. I mean it,
Kaeya, the damage has been done, so all you can do now is work around it. I also advise you
to... Bond with your mates on your next heat. That way your scent won't be so appealing to
other alphas, hence rendering scent blockers completely useless. From what I've been told,
you have quite a tight control over your scent anyway, so you don't need them."
Kaeya had been expecting something like that, really. Hoped for it, in fact. Though he wasn't
looking forward to it, he knew that it was time to allow his body to just do what it was
supposed to do. And now, with Zhongli and Ajax by his side, he knew he wouldn't have to
worry about going through his cycles while experiencing the worst kind of pain imaginable.
The question was, was he ready to be claimed yet? Were any of them ready to take that step
when Kaeya's heat finally came? Would his heat trigger Ajax's rut again? What if Ajax and
Zhongli became hostile towards each other? What if-?
What if nothing bad happened? Kaeya was far too used to things going wrong. Anticipating
disaster without reason would only aggravate his anxiety, and he had enough of that to deal
with as it was. All he had to do was to talk to Ajax and Zhongli and maybe Lisa, too, and
work out a solution with them.
Together.
Kaeya could use that word now. He needed to use it more often, in fact, to get used to think
of Zhongli and Ajax and himself as a unit. The separation he'd tried so hard to keep during
his pregnancy had all but dissolved now that they have talked things through, and Kaeya
would do well to get used to being a part of it.
Doctor Baizhu handed him the prescription papers. "Is there anything else you want to ask
me about, Kaeya?"
"No. That would be all for now. I'll follow your advice very closely, Doctor Baizhu. Thank
you so much for seeing me today," Kaeya stood from his seat and shook Doctor Baizhu's
hand.
"Let me know when you get into pre-heat. I'd like to monitor your progress and see how your
body reacts," Doctor Baizhu told him, before lowering his glasses from his face. "Please do
be careful."
Ajax was waiting for him when Kaeya left the office. He was sitting awkwardly on the sofa
of Doctor Baizhu's sitting room, all long legs and wild hair as he shifted uncomfortably under
the intent scrutiny of little Qiqi. The girl seemed to have changed her clothes to something a
little less casual in the meantime, and had replaced her milk carton with a little ghost plushie.
"So... You like... Ghosts?" Ajax was asking, his eyes shifting nervously from her face to her
plushie.
"Dunno... Auntie Tao gave it to me," Qiqi said. "She works with dead people."
Ajax looked up and met Kaeya's eyes. "Fuc- Finally! Okay, listen kid, that's all very nice and
well, but I have to take my omega home now, okay?" Ajax jumped off the couch and urgently
grabbed Kaeya's wrist. "Good luck with whatever it is you do!"
"Bye bye red man," Qiqi said, her little legs kicking on the armchair she'd been sitting on.
Kaeya didn't even have time to properly put on his coat before Ajax was dragging him out of
the house, and into the cool late autumn weather.
"I'm going to have nightmares about that kid for the rest of my life."
"Ajax, please. The kid is like six years old. You'll be fine."
"We'll see," Ajax sighed, holding Kaeya by the waist. "I just want to go home. Zhongli
called."
Kaeya looked up at him. "Is everything all right? Is Yangmei okay? Has something
happened?"
Ajax paused by the car, his hand searching his pockets for the key. "Yes something has
happened, but the baby is all right. I just- It's just-" he hesitated for a moment. "Teucer, heAngel, I just want to go home. Zhongli will tell you when we get there."
Chapter End Notes
merry chrimsum
🙂
Alphas are dumb
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
The house was eerily quiet by the time they arrived. It was unsettling, not for the stillness, but
for lack of it at the same time. It was close to dinner time, and by now Yangmei would be
crawling all over the house like the adventurer he was, charting every nook and cranny while
Zhongli started on their dinner preparations while still keeping a vigilant eye over their little
explorer.
This evening, however, though the scent of spices was strong and delicious, the lack of chaos
caused Kaeya's hairs to stand on end.
Ajax toed his shoes off, a frown marring his already worried expression, and he announced,
"We're home!" into the seemingly empty house.
Kaeya half expected his voice to echo forever, to bounce off the walls like they were in an
ancient tomb. Instead, Zhongli called from the general direction of their old bedroom, "In
here!" loud enough to carry, but still quite strained, like he was reluctant to make much noise.
Warmth enveloped Kaeya's hand, Ajax's fingers intertwining with his and bringing them up
to his lips where he placed a gentle kiss to his knuckles. Kaeya wondered if the gesture was
more self-soothing than reassuring, but he stepped a little closer to him, a vague attempt at
providing some semblance of comfort. Then, Ajax guided him towards Zhongli, his hold on
Kaeya's hand tightening with each step.
"How was your appointment?" Zhongli asked, a relaxed smile upon his lips as he slid his arm
around Kaeya's waist and greeted him with a kiss. "What did Doctor Baizhu say?"
"I need to come off suppressants-"
"Li, please!" Ajax pleaded, tension in his voice as he let go of Kaeya's hand to grab his
husband's. "Is he okay? Tell me he's okay."
With a small sigh, Zhongli held both of Ajax's hands, and brought their foreheads together. It
was something that was purely theirs, something neither of them had yet shared with Kaeya.
This small act of intimacy, this demonstration of love that travelled through touch alone, was
something Kaeya was not privy to. He tried to tell himself it didn't bother him. But he'd be
lying to himself if he didn't admit he felt a little left out.
It was natural, though. Kaeya was a new addition. They were still finding their rhythm.
Unfortunately his heart was far too bruised to give itself the time it needed to get used to his
position in the relationship.
Ajax let out a little shaky sigh, his face hiding in the welcoming curve of Zhongli's neck
while his husband held him close, strong arms wrapping tightly around Ajax's body.
"He's fine. Go see for yourself," Zhongli reassured, before giving Ajax a final squeeze and
gently pushing him towards their old bedroom.
Ajax let himself stay in his embrace for a few heartbeats longer before he pulled back and
turned to push the door open. He took a glance around the room before taking a cautious step
inside.
"Zhongli what's going on?" Kaeya asked, his tone quiet as Zhongli stepped closer to him.
"Ajax said Yangmei was all right but he's been so distraught since we left Doctor Baizhu's-"
"Yangmei is perfectly fine, I promise," Zhongli told him, his long fingers carefully brushing
Kaeya's hair away from his face. "Tell me about your appointment."
"But the baby-"
His mate let out a sigh, quiet and tired, and he pulled Kaeya into a gentle embrace. "Teucer
ran away from home again. He knocked on our door shortly after you left for your
appointment. He had an argument with their mother and is going to stay with us for a few
days. Are you all right with that?"
Kaeya relaxed into Zhongli's arms, his head leaning on his shoulder his eyes fluttering closed
for a brief moment. No wonder Ajax had been so on edge the entire way home, his shoulders
had been tense, his hands tight around the wheel. Kaeya had been fairly reluctant to break the
silence lest Ajax snap at him. Not that he would, but it was hard to forget the way he'd lashed
out so many months ago.
"So Teucer..."
"He's taking a nap, and Yangmei fell asleep next to him shortly after. I think it's fairly safe to
say that Ah-Mei's met his favourite uncle."
"Diluc will love that," Kaeya chuckled before pressing his nose to Zhongli's neck. His scent
was soothing, relaxed, and the first tendrils of tension slowly started to lift off Kaeya's
shoulders. "Are they going to be okay?"
"Absolutely. Ajax will watch over them. For now, help me out in the kitchen, and you can tell
me all about what Doctor Baizhu told you. I need to know your health hasn't been affected
long term."
Feeling cozy and safe, Kaeya allowed himself to remain in Zhongli's arms for a little while
longer. Then, with a small sigh, he forced himself to part from his mate. Worry still gnawed
at the back of his neck, beckoning him to open the bedroom door and take a peek inside just
to make sure his loves were truly safe and sound. But he had to trust Zhongli's judgement. If
he said they were going to be okay, Kaeya had to believe him.
Instead, he focused his energies on cooking their little family the best damn Zhongyuan Chop
Suey - one of Teucer's favourites, according to Zhongli.
They moved in silence around the kitchen, a dance to a silent melody, both hyperaware of the
other's presence as they cooked together. It was a simple dish, in essence, but Kaeya found
himself getting lost in the motions, lost in his thoughts, only vaguely aware of Zhongli's
mooring presence at his side.
Doctor Baizhu's words still echoed around in his memory, coming to the forefront of his mind
every so often, demanding his attention. Between Teucer's unexpected arrival and Kaeya's
appointment, there was a lot of information he needed to process and not enough time to do
so as carefully as he should want. He needed time. He needed to figure out where his place
truly was - not only in this new relationship, but within himself as well.
"Darling," Zhongli's voice was quiet, but it sounded closer than Kaeya was expecting. So
close, in fact, that Kaeya could feel his breath against the shell of his ear.
He jolted, turning around to meet Zhongli's eyes. "Everything okay?"
The little crease between Zhongli's brows was all the sign of worry he showed, even when his
eyes roamed over Kaeya's face, his hand so gently cradling his cheek.
"I should be asking you the same thing. You've been awfully quiet since you've returned,"
Zhongli pursed his lips briefly, before dropping his hand from Kaeya's face to gently curl
around his cold fingers. "What's troubling you so much?"
"Zhongli, you and Ajax want more children, right? Eventually?"
Kaeya could feel the slight hesitation in Zhongli's gaze, the way he ever so briefly looked
away from him and back at Kaeya. The small grain of rice lodged in his throat was quickly
swelling into a lump he could not swallow down.
"I won't deny that before we met you, it was our plan to have multiple children. Then you
came along, and Yangmei was born, and we realised that even though we would have loved
to have more little ones to fill up the place, we have all that we need right here." Zhongli
leaned down to press a kiss to Kaeya's forehead, his long fingers brushing away a stray strand
of his hair. "We wanted a family together. And you gave us one. I wouldn't have it any other
way, and I am fairly certain that neither would Ajax. Yangmei and yourself are everything we
need to feel fulfilled."
It did soothe the tempest in Kaeya's chest somewhat. As an omega, Kaeya had never quite
felt the need to fulfill the purpose of his biology. Truth be told, he was still young, and his
experiences with past relationships had never awakened that part of him - the part that longed
for a child, to nurture and cultivate a whole new human being and watch them grow into a
person, with flaws and qualities that were entirely their own.
After Yangmei, however, Kaeya wanted to walk beside him every step of the way. He wanted
to hold his hand and tell him about the dangers and the wonders of the world. He wanted to
see what kind of man his little baby would grow up to be. He wanted to see what kind of
people his future children would turn out to be, too, what kind of brother Yangmei would be
to his smaller siblings.
"I've lost you to your thoughts again," Zhongli softly said, his voice quiet. "Kaeya, my love,
if Doctor Baizhu told you that... If the news he gave you were..." Kaeya watched him work
around the words, the effort it was taking not to allow the pain to lace his voice. "If he told
you that you won't be able to give us more children, I want you to know that it changes
absolutely nothing as far as I and Ajax are concerned. You're still our mate, our omega, our
love. We are genuinely happy as things are right now. And if in the future we do decide we
want more children, we will discuss it as partners and figure it out."
Wrapping his arms around Zhongli's shoulders, Kaeya brought him closer for a hug. He
hadn't truly realised how afraid of losing Zhongli and Ajax he'd been until his mate had so
adamantly put his worries to rest.
All his life, he's seen his biology as more of a curse than a blessing. In the eyes of so many
alphas, he was nothing but a breeding machine, someone who was useful to pop out children
and further their egotistic genetics. To be so fully reassured that Ajax and Zhongli loved him
so wholeheartedly, not because of his uterus, but despite of it, was a reassurance that Kaeya
hadn't known he needed until he heard it.
"I've got you," Zhongli breathed, his voice barely above a whisper as he held Kaeya close,
steadfast. And Kaeya allowed himself to lean his weight on him, to relax into Zhongli's arms
and let him hold him up just for a moment.
Kaeya wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, but by the time they found the will to
separate themselves from each other, Kaeya's shoulder ached from keeping it still in the same
position for so long. Zhongli peppered small gentle kisses all over his face, slow and delicate,
from his chin to his eyelids, each one so full of love Kaeya could feel his heart grow.
"Just to make it perfectly clear," Kaeya said once they managed to keep an arm's length
distance between them without one of them immediately chasing after the other's comfort.
"It's not going to be impossible for me to conceive again," Kaeya said, holding Zhongli's
hand and bringing it to the flat of his stomach. "It's not going to be easy, and it's not without
danger, for me or the child. But every pregnancy is dangerous if we think about it."
"So... You mean that..."
"Yes."
"And this is something you want as well? You wouldn't be doing this just for our sake, right?"
Shaking his head, Kaeya leaned up to press a gentle kiss to Zhongli's lips. "I told you, I've
done surrogacy once, and I wouldn't do it again. I love Yangmei with my entire heart and
soul, but spending a whole pregnancy thinking I wouldn't even get to call the child mine was
painful enough the first time around. When it happens next time I will do it for myself as
much as for you."
He could feel Zhongli's smile as he kissed him, deep and passionate and so very sweet Kaeya
could feel himself melting into his embrace. A laugh broke past his throat as he felt his lower
back press against the kitchen counter.
"Slow down!" Kaeya laughed, his head tilting to the side.
"M-no," Zhongli hummed as he mouthed along Kaeya's throat, his tongue pressing against
the throbhing pulse beneath his skin. "I can only think of you so full and round with our baby
again and I admit it's affecting me a little."
"A little? Could have fooled me- ah!" Kaeya jolted when he felt Zhongli press against his
thigh, already half-hard. "Zhongli, that's quite enough."
Like a button had been switched, his mate stopped lavishing Kaeya's exposed skin with his
his lips and took half a step back. His cheeks were flushed, his lips parted, red and wet and so
kissable. Kaeya pressed his thighs together, the dormant desire he'd always felt towards this
man and his ridiculous husband slowly building up within his core, a sleeping dragon ready
to awaken.
He could already tell his first heat was going to be intense, like nothing he'd ever experienced
before. Kaeya swallowed around the lump of anticipation lodged in his throat.
"Have I hurt you?"
"No. No, no, no. You haven't. I just..." Kaeya swallowed again, pushing his fingers through
his hair and taking in a deep breath. "I just don't think this is a good idea yet. Not until I'm on
birth control. Definitely not while our son and his underage uncle are napping in the next
room."
The gentle slump of Zhongli's shoulders wasn't lost on him, so he closed the distance
between them and kissed along Zhongli's jawline once more.
"I promise I'll make it up to you tonight. You'll just have to be content with my lips around
you instead. At least for a little while."
"Morax have mercy. Kaeya-" Zhongli's eyes closed for a second, like he could see the images
clearly playing behind his eyelids, like he could already feel Kaeya's promise without so
much as a physical touch. "You can't say things like that, I will physically combust."
"I should probably not mention that Doctor Baizhu suggested that you and Ajax claimed me
during my first heat then," Kaeya mused, a smirk on his lips. "Oh, well. Some other time
perhaps."
"Kaeya!"
×
The sun was halfway hidden beyond the horizon when Kaeya decided that he should wake
the boys up for dinner. The food had been ready for over an hour, now, but he had insisted
with Zhongli that he should allow Teucer to get some rest after his long journey from
Morepesok to Liyue Harbour - that, and once Yangmei was up from his nap, there would be
no rest for the adults until they managed to lull him to sleep once more.
Carefully, Kaeya pushed the door open just a sliver, and peered inside the spare bedroom.
He'd only been there a handful of times, including the time he'd spent at the house while he
was still carrying their baby, but nothing had changed much since then. The large bed
remained at the centre of the room, now holding two of his loves, and a boy his heart had
ached for in the past.
Yangmei was lying with his tummy up, his tiny lips open as he gently snored away. He could
look at him all day, marvel in the still quite unbelievable fact that he'd once housed that same
baby inside his body. No matter how long it's been, Kaeya will never not be amazed that
people can just make more people out of nowhere.
Ajax lay curled around Yangmei, his arm draped protectively over the baby and reaching
towards Teucer, who lay on the other side of him. Kaeya stepped quietly closer to the bed and
sat down next to Ajax, so he could slowly brush his fingers through his soft hair and start to
wake him up.
Then there was Teucer. He'd seen him in photos before, and talked to him briefly over video
calls, but it was almost unsettling how much Teucer looked like Ajax himself when he was
the same age. They had the same freckles, the same lips, the same wild hair, the same
sleeping position, the only difference apart from their obvious age gap was the soft nasal
cannula that connected Teucer's breathing aide to his oxygen tank, parked safely on the other
side of the bed.
"Angel?"
He looked down to meet Ajax's bleary eyes. His cheeks were flushed in the tail end of his
slumber and he hid a yawn into his hand before sitting up on the bed.
"Did you have a good nap?" Kaeya asked, automatically leaning in to press a small kiss to
Ajax's lips when he tugged Kaeya closer. He was always softest first thing after waking up,
demanding affection until he felt like he could face the world again. Kaeya was always too
happy to oblige.
"How long was I asleep for?"
"Couple of hours. Figured I'd wake you boys up for dinner before it gets too late. The sun is
setting already."
Ajax looked over his shoulder towards the windows. "So it is. Shit, I didn't mean to fall
asleep, too." Ajax pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes and rubbed the remnants of sleep
off before looking down at the slumbering boys. "I don't think I have the heart to wake them
up."
"But you should. Zhongli had to leave for a work meeting. He said it would be brief but to
not wait for him for dinner. Wake them up while I set the table, yeah? We made Teucer's
favourite."
"Will do," Ajax promised, loosely looping his arms around Kaeya's middle and pressing a
kiss to his cheek. "Thank you."
"Don't mention it. Also, Yangmei smells like he needs a nappy change."
"You birthed the stinkiest baby."
"Stinky like his batya for sure," Kaeya agreed, rejoicing in the look of utter betrayal in Ajax's
face. "Hurry up, now. I'll reheat the food."
It wasn't long after that as promised, Ajax walked into the kitchen, a laughing Yangmei
walking on top of his feet as they clumsily made their way in, followed by Teucer who still
looked more asleep than awake, dragging his oxygen tank behind him as he sleepily rubbed
his eyes. When he looked up and saw Kaeya, however, he blushed bright red and lowered his
head immediately.
"How are you doing Teucer? It's nice to finally meet you in person!" Kaeya greeted just as he
set the food down on the table. "You must have been really tired to nap for that long, eh?"
"I wasn't napping," Teucer mumbled, his lips pursing. "I don't nap. I'm not a baby."
"Babies have it easy," sighed Ajax, looking at Yangmei as the baby started bouncing on his
feet, like he was dancing to a tune only he could hear. "Look at him. Not a single thought in
that pea head of his. Naps all the time, when he's not napping he's pooping himself and
everyone is there at his beck and call to clean up his mess without complaining about it."
"You just changed his nappy and all you did was complain," Teucer pointed out, looking very
much unimpressed.
"Oi! You little- Go wash your hands and sit at the table before the food Kaeya prepared for
you gets cold." Ajax set Yangmei down on his high chair and glanced at Kaeya. "Have you
seen this? The disrespect."
Yangmei seemed awfully amused, clapping his hands as his baby shrieks and giggles
bounced off the walls of the kitchen. Kaeya frowned as he took his seat next to the high chair.
"Ah-Mei, please don't screech," Kaeya told the baby as he placed a bear shaped plate in front
of him. He then picked up Yangmei's favourite froggy spoon and started to bring the mashed
food up to his mouth. "Eat up little one."
Teucer soon joined them back at the table and the conversation flowed from there. Kaeya
could tell that Ajax was doing his best not to berate his little brother for having run away
from home again, and Teucer seemed to have relaxed as the clock ticked by. Kaeya was
mostly content to just be present there, giving his input when Ajax asked him for back up
after Teucer's surprisingly sassy tongue got him cornered for a response and Kaeya was all to
happy to mediate between the brothers as he struggled to feed the increasingly grumpy baby
while his own food grew cold, untouched on his plate.
"These are really good," Teucer said as he slid another chop suey skewer into his plate. His
third of the night. Kaeya was immensely happy to see the boy eating so well. "The last ones
you made weren't this yummy."
"You rascal, these ones weren't made by me," Ajax tutted, flicking his fingers on Teucer's
forehead. "Kaeya and Zhongli cooked them for you, so you better eat up, you hear me?"
Teucer looked from his food to Kaeya, his cheeks tinting pink again. "Thank you. They're the
best I've had in a while."
"I'm happy you're enjoying them so much. You must tell me what other foods you enjoy. I'll
do my best to make them for you."
If possible, Teucer's cheeks pinked even further, his blush spreading down his neck. "Ah...
That's very kind of you."
Kaeya ruffled Teucer's hair before turning to Yangmei and stopping him just in time from
throwing his bear plate to the floor. The mess he'd have to clean had he been just a second
slower was something he didn't want to think about.
"What are you blushing for, huh?" Ajax poked Teucer's side, his eyes narrowing at his little
brother. "What's gotten you so bashful?"
Teucer bit his lip and looked back down at his food, pushing it around his plate as he
mumbled something Kaeya couldn't quite hear.
"What? Speak up, Teucer, I can't understand you when you're mumbling," Ajax frowned, a
flash of concern crossing his eyes. He pressed his hand to Teucer's forehead, lips pursing.
"You don't feel warm to me. Are you feeling all right?"
"Kaeya... Kaeya's very pretty," Teucer said, slapping Ajax's hand away from his forehead.
Kaeya nearly dropped Yangmei's spoon, and slowly turned to face the boy across the table.
"Thank you very much," he said smiling. "I think you're very handsome yourself."
"You're- You're the only male omega I know apart from Anthon and myself."
And it clicked, then, that Teucer's admiration of him came from a place of solitude. Omegas
were rare, male omegas even more so. To meet one he could relate to, look up to, must mean
quite a lot to someone as fragile as him.
Kaeya felt, not for the first time, the intense need to hold Teucer close and protect him from
the world. If what he needed was someone to guide him, then Kaeya would be all too happy
to hold his hand and show him the way.
"Then, from one omega to another, let me tell you something very important," Kaeya said,
meeting Teucer's eyes. "Alphas are dumb. Every single one of them, no exceptions."
Teucer giggled at that, looking at Ajax, maybe expecting him to protest. Kaeya smiled when
Teucer noticed Ajax nodding his agreement to Kaeya's claim.
"Even Zhongli?" asked the boy.
"Especially Zhongli," Ajax said, nodding sagely again and causing Teucer to break into a fit
of giggles.
"You'll meet many alphas who will feel entitled to you, who will look down on you, who will
treat you as less than what you're worth. No matter what, always stand your ground and don't
let them push you around. Remember, alphas are dumb. Say it for me."
"Alphas are dumb," Teucer repeated, smiling.
"Louder!" Ajax demanded.
"Alphas are dumb!" Teucer laughed, his smile so bright Kaeya felt warm inside.
"That they are," Zhongli agreed, walking into the kitchen with a smile, even when he was
looking like he'd had a fight with a hose and lost miserably. "Evening everyone."
Kaeya was immediately on his feet, helping Zhongli out of his wet coat. "You're soaking wet.
What happened?"
"It started pouring out of nowhere. My car broke down and I had to walk home. Tried to
catch a cab but they were all taken."
He hadn't noticed it had started raining, but looking over his shoulder to the tall glass
windows Kaeya could see the rivulets of the raindrops distorting the lights of the cityscape.
"Go take a hot shower and get comfortable. I'll hang your coat for you and heat up your food,
okay?"
"Thank you, darling," Zhongli pressed a kiss to Kaeya's temple. "I'll be back soon."
Kaeya kicked into action, setting Zhongli's food to heat and cleaning up the table to make
room for one more person. He was hanging the sopping wet coat when he heard Ajax's voice
again.
"Want to help me put Yangmei to sleep?"
"Really?!" Teucer asked, happily getting to his feet. "Yeah! Let's go!"
Kaeya watched as Ajax lifted the baby off his high chair. There was food in his hair,
somehow, and Kaeya was thankful that he didn't have to deal with that mess on top
everything else.
"I also wanted to talk to you about something," Ajax was saying as they left the kitchen.
Kaeya loved him. He loved him, and he loved Yangmei, and he loved Zhongli, and he even
loved little Teucer, but the silence he found himself in after they left was something he had
desperately been needing.
Since that morning when he woke up to meet with Doctor Baizhu, and after the news of his
health condition that he had yet to fully process, Kaeya had always been in someone's
company. The day had been long and he felt drained and exhausted and so ready to go to bed
and sleep for a long, long time.
He leaned against the counter, watching the droplets of water race down the window and
focusing on the pitter patter of the rain outside. Kaeya's always had a complicated
relationship with rain. It came to a point where he dreaded rainy days, especially if it was
thundering as well, which thankfully didn't seem to be the case today.
But right then and there, as he basked in the quiet, he could see why some people loved it.
"You look tired, my love," Zhongli said as he returned, now looking much more comfortable
in a pair of grey joggers and a plain white t-shirt, a towel loosely draped over his shoulders to
keep his damp hair away from his nice dry clothes.
He looked soft, and comfortable, and relaxed in a way that was both so very cosy, and so
unbelievably attractive. Kaeya smiled, pushed himself off the counter and walked up to wrap
his arms around Zhongli's middle.
"Kiss," he demanded, pursing his lips.
Zhongli smiled leaning in to oblige to Kaeya's demands. His arms tugged him closer as they
kissed, slow and lazy and lovely, Kaeya's eyes fluttering closed as he melted into the
attention, before he felt Zhongli laugh softly against his lips.
"As much as I would love to stay like this all night, I believe you've prepared me dinner. I'd
hate for it to go to waste."
"You could always eat me instead," Kaeya said, the words leaving his lips without much
thought.
It was only when he saw the dangerous darkening of Zhongli's eyes that Kaeya realised what
he'd said.
"Careful, little bird. I may take you up on that offer."
"I take it back. Please, go eat. I'll keep you company."
They returned to their seats at the table, Zhongli quietly enjoying his meal after Kaeya
prepared him a pot of ginseng tea. In the same way that it was easy to enjoy the chatter with
Ajax and Teucer, earlier, it was also easy to enjoy Zhongli's silent companionship as Kaeya
finally started to enjoy his own meal, long forgotten in favour of feeding Yangmei first. They
ate in silence for a while, Zhongli breaking the silence only to compliment their food before
turning his attention back to his plate.
It was nice, this, homey, comforting. Kaeya could get used to it, to having very little to worry
about between bouts of serenity and chaos.
Peace, however, did not seem to last very long. Kaeya was finishing up his meal when the
sounds of arguing started to reach the kitchen. With a quick glance at Zhongli, who'd stopped
with his teacup halfway up to his lips as the arguing got louder, he jumped to his feet again
and hurried out of the kitchen, Zhongli hot on his heels.
Teucer was rushing down the stairs, his oxygen tank thumping loudly on the wood behind
him as he rushed to put some distance between himself and a very agitated Ajax.
"Teucer, please come back here!"
"No! Stay away from me!" Teucer shouted back his voice strained, his breath catching around
every word. In his hurry, he skipped the last step and stumbled a couple of times before
bracing himself against the nearest wall.
Kaeya hurried towards him, gently touching his arm to make sure he was all right.
"What's going on? What happened?"
"Ajax wants to send me back! He wants me gone!" Teucer turned to face his brother, a fire in
his eyes so similar to Ajax's when he felt riled up. The resemblance was almost eerie. "You're
just like her!"
Ajax stopped walking, his eyes wide, his hand tight around the railing of the stairs. Kaeya felt
movement next to him and stepped aside to allow Zhongli to go to his husband, his brows
knitted into a frown.
The tension was almost palpable, thick and heavy and uncomfortable. Between Teucer's
distraught crying and Ajax's heavy breathing, Kaeya wasn't sure who he wanted to comfort
more.
And then Teucer was moving again, hurrying towards the front door and slamming it closed
behind him as he left the house.
Ajax rushed down the stairs, a new urgency kicking his limbs into gear. Kaeya, however
stopped him as he moved towards the door, a hand firmly pressed against his chest.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"After him! He can't- I'm going to talk to him!"
"No, you're not. You're going to stay here and wait for him to come back. Right now you're
the last person he wants to see. So, stay out of his way."
Kaeya reached for his own coat and shoved his feet inside the first pair of shoes he saw,
which happened to be Zhongli's - a couple of sizes too big for himself, but they'd have to do.
"Kaeya."
Looking briefly over his shoulder, Kaeya met Zhongli's eyes. "Make sure he doesn't leave. I'll
go look for Teucer and I'll let you know when I find him."
"Be safe," Zhongli told him.
And with a small nod, Kaeya left.
×
The rain pelted down onto the streets of Liyue Harbour with so much intensity it was hard to
see where he was going. Kaeya cupped his hands around his mouth and called for Teucer as
he searched the area around the apartment complex, but there was no response. No wonder,
the sound of the rain was probably muffling his voice anyway. He could hardly hear his own
thoughts.
Kaeya was wet, and cold, and it was a discomfort he hadn't felt since the day he'd left Liyue,
only days after the birth of his son. He didn't want to think about Teucer being lost in a
weather like this, holding his oxygen tank, and roaming aimlessly around unknown streets.
He had to find him.
"Teucer!" Kaeya called again, daring to go a little farther in his search, crossing a couple of
streets over as his heart lodged in his throat. "Teucer, you're scaring me! Where are you?"
It was a few minutes longer before Kaeya spotted a silhouette in the distance. It was small,
like an animal crouching down on the corner of the deserted street. He made a beeline for it,
the rain now soaked through his clothes, weighing him down.
"Teucer?"
"Go away."
He sounded small, scared, his arms wrapped around his knees and his head hiding in the little
space there. His oxygen tank seemed to have tipped over, and Kaeya set it upright, before
crouching down next to the boy.
"Hey, it's all right. I'm not mad at you. I was just really scared when I saw you leave like
that," Kaeya said, his hand coming to rest on Teucer's head. He gently pushed his wet hair
away from his face, gently coaxing him to lift his head and look up at him. "Are you all
right?"
"Yeah," Teucer sniffled, his hand clumsily coming up to wipe away his tears, a fruitless
endeavour under the constant downpour.
"Things got a little wild in there, eh? Do you want to tell me what happened? What made you
so upset?" Kaeya asked, wrapping his arm around the boy and bringing him close to his side
in an attempt to shield him from the rain.
"You were right. Alphas are idiots." Teucer protested, frowning. "I thought Ajax was
different, that he, more than anyone, understood me. But he's just like her. He's just like my
mother."
Kaeya started rubbing some heat onto Teucer's arm, looking around them to see if there was
somewhere drier he could take him to warm up. Frail as his heart was, staying out in the rain
wouldn't do him any good and Kaeya would be damned if Teucer landed himself in the
hospital under his care. "Why do you say that?"
Instead of an answer, Teucer shrugged dismissively, and Kaeya could feel the boy shivering
against him, his thin cardigan doing very little to protect him from the rain. Even though his
coat was wet and heavy, he shrugged it off and draped it over Teucer's slender shoulders. It
surprised Kaeya how small the boy felt in his arms, how fragile and vulnerable. His heart
lurched with the gasping desire to protect him, to keep him safe.
"Can you stand up? We should get out of this rain."
"I don't want to go back to the house. Ajax will yell at me and send me back to Morepesok,"
Teucer's voice trembled with emotion, and he leaned onto Kaeya as they stood up. "And then
mama will yell at me, too, for leaving again. And I'm tired of people yelling at me. It's been
worse lately."
Kaeya vaguely remembered passing by an old café as he was searching for Teucer, so maybe
he could trace his steps back and find it again. He could see the penthouse from where they
were, standing - bright, a beacon of light high above the cityscape. But Kaeya wasn't too
familiar with the streets of Liyue yet, so finding small landmarks like the cosy café would be
a much harder endeavour, especially with the rain falling as heavily as it was.
"I would never let him send you back before you were ready to leave, Teucer. I don't think
what you did was right, running away from home like that. You gave Ajax a fright. When
Zhongli called him saying you showed up at our doorstep he was terrified something had
happened to you, you know? But I'm sure you had your reasons," Kaeya told him, slowly
guiding him down the street in the direction he'd come from. "Why do you think it's been
getting worse? The situation with your mother, I mean. Why did you run away?"
"She never lets me do anything because I'm sick," Teucer said, loosely dragging his tank
behind him as he pressed himself a little closer to Kaeya. "She's constantly on top of me
treating me like I'm a child, like I'm going to die if I sneeze too hard. I love my mama very
much, but I feel..."
"Suffocated?"
A flash of lighting illuminated the streets around them, and Kaeya saw an old bus stop across
the street. He decided to guide them both to it instead of looking for a café he wasn't sure he
could find anymore.
"Yeah. I know I'm sick, but I'm also Teucer. Sometimes I wish she saw Teucer when she
looked at me, and not just my weak heart. I want to be a boy, too. She won't let me play
because she's afraid I'll get too excited, I can't even play video games. She'll let me read but
she gets me boring books that aren't exciting. I wanna read about dragons and Knights and
friends who go on fantastical journeys."
Under the shelter of the bus stop, Teucer parked his oxygen tank next to the bench and sat
down, sheepishly holding onto Kaeya's hand to beckon him to sit next to him.
"She worries about you," Kaeya quietly said, trying to put himself in Ajax's mother's shoes.
A woman who had to bury her children because of her husband's cruelty. Kaeya couldn't
imagine the pain she went through. If anything happened to Yangmei, he would fall apart.
But at the same time he understood Teucer's frustration. He was more than his illness. He was
a boy who wanted to live. What was the point of fighting so hard to stay alive if he couldn't
enjoy what life had to give?
"I wish I could live with you and Ajax and Zhongli. Ajax never used to treat me like I'd die if
I coughed. And you're pretty, and your hugs are really nice. And Zhongli tells me stories
about dragons and the moon and it's really cool. Mama doesnt hug me. It's like she's afraid I'll
break." The boy let out a sigh cuddling closer to Kayea. "But the way Ajax spoke to me
today, the way he lectured me for giving mama a bad time... He's never done it before. Not
like that. Not like he, too, thought I was too fragile to exist. I don't want to go home to
Morepesok. I want to stay here with you, but not like this."
Kaeya ran his fingers through Teucer's hair, the same way he often did to Ajax when he was
feeling down, and he felt him melt under his touch. It seemed to Kaeya that parenthood had
made Ajax take on a new perspective when it came to Teucer's rebellious nature. It made him
smile, in a way, how fiercely protective Ajax could be. But at the same time he could see how
this sudden shift in behaviour would feel like a betrayal for the young boy next to him.
"I don't think your mother would agree to let you live with us, but maybe we can convince
her to let you come spend your school breaks over here. I know I'd love to have you over
more often, and Yangmei needs someone to teach him all the games from Snezhnaya," Kaeya
told him as he looked down at him. Teucer's eyes were big and bright and so full of hope, and
Kaeya wanted to keep them that way. He wanted to cherish and protect the curiosity and
wonder living in that endless ocean blue. He wanted to give Teucer what had been so cruelly
torn from Ajax himself.
"Really?" Teucer offered Kaeya a smile, hesitant and fragile, like he was half expecting
Kaeya to retract his offer. "You really mean that? I can come and spend time with you?"
"Absutely! Who else would help me prank Ajax, Zhongli? Have you seen him? He's a proper
adult, boring and responsible. I need a real partner," Kaeya grinned, his fist lightly pressing
against Teucer's shoulder. "We should talk to your brother about what happened first, though.
I'm sure once you tell him what upset you so much he will make an effort to be more
understanding. Then we can try to talk to your mother about spending time with us here in
Liyue. We'll probably have to bullshit our way through it, though."
Teucer let out a little gasp. "Ah. You said a bad word!"
Kaeya leaned closer, his finger tapping his lips. "Shh. I won't tell if you don't," he said, and to
his delight, Teucer let out a string of twinkling giggles that made Kaeya feel extremely
relieved. He stood up from the bench, and held out his hand for Teucer to take. "We should
head back, though, now that the rain slowed down a little. Ajax and Zhongli must be worried
about us."
Teucer took Kaeya's hand, grabbed his tank with the other and looked up at him. "Do you
know the way back?"
"I absolutely, most certainly do not. But that's the point of an adventure isn't it? To find things
out for ourselves?"
With a giggle, Teucer tugged Kaeya's hand, and they set off to find their way back to a home
they both longed to return to.
Chapter End Notes
When I tell you this chapter was the reason I went into the worst writer's block... I must
have written some three different versions of it until I was satisfied with the result.
Anyway, only a couple more chapters to go. This has been a journey and a half ❤
Thank you for reading 😘
Eyes on me
Chapter Notes
Content Warning: The second part of this chapter is less than savoury for a work
environment. Mature themes ahead. Also mentions of blood. As always stay safe.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
"Are you sure about this?"
"I-"
"Because you can still change your mind, you know?"
"I'm certain-"
"I'm just saying, you can back out any time you want. If they're pressuring you into this, or if
you feel like it's too soon you can say no. If they love you they will wait for you. You haven't
even been dating for that long, so-"
"Diluc!" Kaeya brought his hands up to cradle his brother's cheeks, thumbs gently running
along the salience of his cheekbones in a soothing gesture. "I'm certain. I'm sure about this.
Rest assured this is what I want."
Diluc let out a sigh, and carefully held Kaeya's wrists. Without saying a word he tugged his
hands down and sat on the bed where little Yangmei was peacefully sleeping his belly up and
his arms raised above his head.
Kaeya watched in silence as Diluc's lips curled into the softest smile, before he reached
towards the sleeping babe and tugged his shirt down enough to cover his chubby tummy.
"Something's on your mind," Kaeya said, an invitation, quiet but warm, should Diluc want go
take it. He knew his brother like the back of his hands, he knew when troubles stirred in his
head. And if he was keeping quiet about them, Diluc who was often so straightforward about
his thoughts, it likely meant that he was trying to protect Kaeya's feelings.
Yangmei let out a little snort and turned around, tucking his legs beneath him and curling up
in a way that didn't look at all comfortable but seemed to delight the little boy.
"I love him," Diluc said, fingers gently brushing Yangmei's hair away from his plump cheeks.
"I never knew I could love someone as much as this, having only met him a few hours ago."
"He's an easy baby to love," Kaeya smiled, sitting down next to Diluc and adjusting the sock
on Yangmei's tiny foot. "You won't be saying that when he wakes you up at three in the
morning with a dirty nappy and teething pains."
They fell quiet again, watching the baby for a while. Then Diluc reached for him and curled
his fingers around Kaeya's pinky.
"Why does it feel like I'm losing you all over again?"
Blinking up at his brother, Kaeya's expression felt like it was stuck somewhere between
confusion and bewilderment. He turned his palm and grasped Diluc's hand in his.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know. In a way we've never really been this close. Not even as children. It always felt
like..." Diluc's eyes widened and he looked away, his cheeks colouring a faint shade of red.
"Like I was always chasing after you."
"I suppose. When you left, it felt more like rebellion than abandonment. It felt like you'd
come back, like you'd still need need your big brother to hold you and tell you that everything
would be okay. I felt needed, like I could always count on you to depend on me. But then you
came back a hop away from death and your heart aching for two men that weren't me and a
child I didn't know and it felt like you'd grown up too fast. That you didn't need your dumb
big brother anymore."
Kaeya brushed the tears that quietly fell down Diluc's cheeks and he scooted closer to him.
"What did you expect? People grow up. I couldn't be chasing after you for the rest of my life,
Luc. I may have done things a little backwards, but I can stand on my own, now. Besides,
being independent doesn't mean I don't need you anymore. Are you kidding? You're the only
one I'd ever trust Yangmei with at a time like this. You're the only one I want by my side
when I feel lost. I will never not need you. I'm just able to rely on myself more, now."
His words seemed to have quelled the storm in Diluc's heart, because he lifted his head, and
with a hopeful smile he met Kaeya's eyes.
"Promise?"
"I promise. Ajax and Zhongli are my home, but you will always be my family," Kaeya leaned
back and gave him his gremlin smile. "That, and I really need someone to look after Yangmei
during my cycles and you come cheaper than a nanny."
"Aren't your mates, like, disgustingly rich?"
"So are you. Besides, you have Adelinde," Kaeya pointed out.
"Ah. Fair enough."
Kaeya lay back on the bed, his eyes tracing his son's delicate features, the little pouty mouth,
the rosy cheeks, the soft brown curls that fell gently over his dusty brows. He wasn't sure
when he was going to see him again and already his heart ached with the separation. He let
his hand rest upon his back and felt his little body rise and fall again with each breath. This
would be the longest he would be away from his baby since he first met him on the eve of
Ayaka's wedding over half a year ago.
But he'd been experiencing some uncomfortable symptoms that heralded his approaching
cycle and he didn't want his baby anywhere near himself or his alphas when the full heat
started.
At first Ajax had offered some resistance when Kaeya suggested leaving Yangmei with
Diluc, but when Kaeya's instincts took over and he all but hissed as his mate when he
suggested hiring a stranger to look after their boy during his cycle, Zhongli was quick to
convince his stubborn husband to do Kaeya's bidding. It was paramount that Kaeya felt
comfortable during his first heat in who knew how many years. If he spent his cycle
agonising about his child, he would more likely exhaust himself more than necessary.
In the end Ajax had to agree that leaving Yangmei with someone that could be trusted would
be as much of a relief for Kaeya as it was for himself. He might not like Diluc very much, but
he could trust that the alpha would never allow any harm to come to his own kin.
"Young master Kaeya?" Adelinde knocked on the door to Kaeya's old bedroom and stood
primly with a slightly concerned look on her face.
"Is something the matter?" Kaeya asked, sitting up to look at her.
"If I had to bet I'd say that savage of a man you call your mate is being trouble," Diluc
huffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
Kaeya fought the urge to clock him in the head. "So?"
Adelinde shifted from one foot to the other and glanced apologetically at Diluc before
meeting Kaeya's eyes. "Childe Ajax is... uh... Becoming a little agitated. I suppose being
separated from you this close to your cycle is quite challenging for the young lord."
"Pff. Lord my ass-"
"Diluc!" Kaeya hissed, narrowing his eyes at his brother. "Don't make me change my mind.
It's not too late to hire a nanny, you know?"
To his bafflement, Diluc slumped on himself, and like a child, he pouted, looking away from
Kaeya like he'd just been scolded. To see him so upset at the sheer idea of separating from his
nephew warmed Kaeya's heart, and he had to resist the urge to tease his bother about it.
Instead, he leaned down to press a kiss to Yangmei's soft cheek and stood from the bed.
"I'll let you know when it starts and when it ends. It might take me a couple of days to
recover, depending on how hard it hits me, but two weeks at most and I should be back to
pick him up."
Diluc looked at Yangmei, and held his little hand, his gaze softening when the baby wrapped
his little chubby fingers around Diluc's pinky and brought it to his mouth to suckle on. Diluc
let out a small laugh.
"You used to do that when you were little too," he said, looking up at Kaeya. "I'll take care of
him. I've left most of the Winery's business to Elzer so I can spend lots of time with Yangmei,
and Adelinde promised to help too. Please be safe, Kae."
Kaeya nodded, his eyes lingering on his son as his heart tightened with the ache of his
absence. Then he forced himself to turn around and leave the room, otherwise he would just
stay there forever, and if Yangmei woke up and he looked into his big eyes he would never be
able to leave.
Adelinde kindly ran her hand along his shoulders, comforting him as he surreptitiously
attempted to wipe away his tears.
"You'll see him again soon, Kaeya. We'll send you pictures every day."
"Please see that you do."
"And you're always free to call when you feel well enough to do so."
"I might just do that, too."
"Focus on yourself and your recovery first."
At Diluc's demand, Ajax and Zhongli waited for Kaeya's return downstairs in the sitting
room, where the maids dutifully looked after their honoured guests by serving them
refreshments and assorted pastries. Kaeya looked at Zhongli's seemingly relaxed posture as
he enjoyed himself a cup of tea, and then at Ajax, who was pacing the room and mumbling
under his breath like he was cursing every ancestor in the Ragnvindr family tree.
Qingce Village was not very far away from Mondstadt, even less so from the Winery
territories. And yet Kaeya could already tell that the trip to Zhongli's vacation house would
feel immeasurably long.
×
It started slow.
A spike in libido here, a rise in temperature there, but nothing unbearable. Two days after
leaving Yangmei in Mondstadt, Kaeya had been getting acquainted with the humble cabin on
top of the mountains of Qingce, rearranging every piece of furniture to his omega's liking and
dragging every fabric in the house into the bed in an attempt to recreate his nest. However no
matter how much he moved things around, it never felt right. Not until he demanded Ajax to
give him his post-workout hoodie and Zhongli to give him his shower towel. It was still
damp when he added it onto the ever increasing pile and it took much convincing from the
man himself to let it dry so his nest wouldn't be wet and uncomfortable.
The idea seemed very sensible to the nesting omega and he allowed it so long as it didn't get
washed.
By that evening Kaeya's vocabulary had been reduced to the very basic, his instincts slowly
taking over him as his body fell deeper into his heat.
"Baby."
"You want a baby?" Zhongli asked, his fingers running up and down Kaeya's spine.
Kaeya nodded eagerly, before shaking his head no. "My baby."
"Yangmei?"
Kaeya nodded again, his eyes welling up with tears. "Where baby?"
"He's with Diluc. Diluc is going to look after him for a few days," said Ajax as he spooned
Kaeya from behind, his arms loosely wrapping around his waist. "Is that okay?"
"Luc?" Kaeya seemed to think about it for a second. "Luc okay. Luc safe." And then he
settled again, seemingly content with the answers he got.
Not an hour later, Kaeya was crying again, looking pleadingly up at, Zhongli. "Baby!"
"Ah-Mei is with Diluc-"
"Baby here," Kaeya demanded, grasping the handful of shirts and blankets under him. "Here!
My baby. Please."
"What does he want?" Ajax asked, his hand carefully caressing Kaeya's waist.
"Yangmei's scent on his nest, I'm assuming," Zhongli pondered, looking around himself. "Did
we bring anything of his?"
"We left everything at the winery, I think," Ajax said.
Hearing that, Kaeya turned to hide his face in Ajax's chest, his shoulders heaving with his
heartbroken sobs.
Distressed and a little lost, the alphas tried to think about something, anything that would
soothe their desolate omega. It was Ajax who came up with the solution.
"Kaeya's clothes. The ones he was wearing when we dropped Yangmei off at the Winery.
Have you washed them?"
"Not yet."
Minutes later, Kaeya lay dozing off hugging the comfortable jumper he'd been wearing the
entre time while holding his son before they parted. His milky sweet scent was still strong in
the fibres of his clothing and it brought Kaeya great comfort. Deep in his chest, a satisfied
purr rumbled out, as he relaxed further into Ajax's embrace.
"Tsaritsa's mercy, Li. He smells so good," Ajax groaned, his nose pressed firmly to Kaeya's
neck. "Fuck."
"Be patient, Ajax. I know it's hard to hold back, but we must be patient until he is ready for
us," Zhongli cautioned as he set down a few bottles of water near the bed, as well as a small
bag with several nutritional snacks for them to feed Kaeya in between bouts of passion.
"How can you be so fucking calm right now? Every single cell in my body is burning to take,
to claim, to own. It's damn near unbearable."
"Trust me, bǎobèi, you're not alone in your struggle," Zhongli told him. "Why do you think I
haven't stopped moving around since this morning? If I give myself time to settle I don't
think I'll be able to keep my hands to myself."
Kaeya blinked his eyes slowly, not unlike a lazy cat basking in the sun, and stared at Zhongli
with a tiny smile. Though most of his mind was fogged with the growing arousal in the
depths of his belly, he wasn't so far gone that he didn't quite understand what was being said
around him. To know that his mates desired him so much, that they were having such a hard
time respecting Kaeya's boundaries, but still doing it despite their increasing discomfort, it
caused a sense of pride to swell in his chest.
It felt nice to be desired, it felt incredible to be this wanted by two men who he'd once
deemed unattainable.
And they were all his. What a lucky omega he was, to have two of the best alphas taking such
good care of him already and they haven't even claimed him yet.
Suddenly, the lack of a claiming mark on his skin made him feel impossibly naked.
They'd discussed it beforehand as a family. Not long after Teucer returned to Morepesok,
Kaeya started feeling the first signs of pre-heat manifesting in the form of compulsive nesting
and increased libido. After talking to Doctor Baizhu about it and having the confirmation that
it was indeed for the better if Zhongli and Ajax claimed him sooner rather than later, he'd
brought up the topic during one of their nightly discussion sessions.
While Ajax had enthusiastically offered to do it right then and there, claiming that he had
been ready to make Kaeya his since before he'd even given birth to their child, Zhongli had
shown some reluctance towards the idea. Theoretically, it thrilled him, but he feared that
Kaeya was not yet ready for such a commitment.
"A flesh bond is forever, Kaeya. I know I want this, and I know Ajax is ready, too. We've
talked about it to each other a few times before when we were separated, when the canyon
between us felt impossible to bridge. We'd often talked about how if you were a permanent
part of our lives, our marriage wouldn't have suffered as much as it did at the time. And I
stick to that belief even now."
" But?" urged Kaeya, his heart sinking with each word.
"But I wouldn't bear it if we were to claim you, only for you to regret it, or resent us for
rushing this decision. This is not something to be taken lightly. Even Ajax and I only marked
each other after we married. Once we do this you'll be dependent on us in a way you're likely
not used to. For someone who values their independence as much as you do... I hate that
you'd come to see our bond as a pair of shackles."
Kaeya had curled up between them, then, and fallen silent for a long time. No one knew
better than Kaeya what linking himself to these two alphas would do to him. The moment
they marked him he would need their presence constantly on the first few weeks, maybe even
the first couple of months.
Being apart from his bonded mates for too long could bring him back to a very dark place.
Again, no one knew better than Kaeya what a forced separation could do to someone.
He'd seen his mother die because of her husband's death after all. No matter who her heart
desired, in the end her body could not take the separation and she slowly fell apart until she
was no more.
It had terrified him, in the past, to become so dependent on someone that he'd die without
them. He'd sworn to himself that he'd never allow anyone to have that kind of power over
him.
And yet, here he was, so ready and willing to become a part of this family in more than just
words whispered against heated skin.
In a way, even though Ajax and Zhongli had welcomed him so wholeheartedly into their
relationship, Kaeya didn't quite feel like he was fully a part of their little family. He had
nothing to hold on to but promises that could easily be broken. Marriage was out of the
question for obvious reasons, and that left only marking as a concrete proof of his place in the
pack.
"I wouldn't have brought it up if I wasn't certain of it," Kaeya had quietly said, his fingers
tightly grasping the corner of his pillow. "I'm discussing this with you now precisely so you
can't use the heat-brain excuse later on. I am telling you now, fully sober and coherent, that I
want this. Unless..."
"Don't." Ajax quickly interjected, holding Kaeya closer to himself and gently lifting his chin
upwards so their eyes could meet in the dark. "I know what you're going to say, and you can
lay your doubts to rest. We want this, Kaeya. We want you. In every way we can have you in every way you're willing to give us. We just want you to be absolutely sure about this."
Kaeya had felt Zhongli nod behind him, his hand absently running along the curve of Kaeya's
hip, back and forth in a soothing gesture.
"Then believe me when I tell you that this is something I've thought about a lot. I'm ready.
I'm so ready for this. I've been feeling like something's missing for so long now. We're
together and it's been amazing! But it feels incomplete to me. It feels like I'm just an add-on
instead of a permanent fixture."
The hand on Kaeya's hip stopped, and snaked around his torso to press him back against
Zhongli's strong chest.
"Then it will be our pleasure to officially bring you into our family."
That had been weeks ago. After that night they talked often about it, set their boundaries,
discussed several options to make Kaeya's heat as easy and stress-free as possible.
When they decided to leave Yangmei with Diluc, Zhongli had then suggested they'd spend
Kaeya's cycle in Qingce village, not only because it was remote and tranquil, lost amisdt the
mountains with very little tourism, but also because geographically it was so close to Dawn
Winery. Though Kaeya had lamented the loss of his original nest, being closer to Yangmei
ultimately was more important to his peace of mind, and arrangements were swiftly made.
Now, night had fallen beyond the mountain tops, the windows of their bedroom were
partially open, not only to ease Kaeya's discomfort as his body temperature rose, but also to
dispel the thick alluring scent that permeated the entire room.
The longer the clock ticked by, the more unbearable it was becoming, and Kaeya had started
taking off his clothes, piece by piece, and tossing them asside in his frustration. Still he
couldn't seem to cool off. If anything, feeling Ajax pressed so close to him, his lips gently
mouthing the area surrounding his mating gland, feeling Zhongli carefully massaging his legs
and feet with those big dexterous fingers of his, it brought up a new kind of frustration he
couldn't wholly understand.
All he knew was that it was not enough.
"Please," Kaeya begged, his hips rocking back against the proud bulge of Ajax's arousal still
tightly confined within his thin underwear. "Burns."
"Li-"
"I know," Zhongli said, his voice a deep rumble, as his touch on the arch of Kaeya's foot
faltered. "Let's ease him into it."
"Li!"
"Ajax, you do it as I tell you to, or you don't do it at all," Zhongli looked up at his husband,
eyes narrowed, and Ajax felt compelled to lower his head.
It wasn't often, if at all, that Zhongli used his authority as prime alpha to command those
around him, but in this situation he had to balance Kaeya's vulnerability and Ajax's tendency
to lose control during his hormonal cycles. Pleasing their omega while trying to keep their
alpha mate from going into rut and potentially becoming hostile towards Zhongli was a
delicate matter and if exercising his authority was the way to keep the peace then Zhongli
would do it, pain him though it did.
The gentle, needy mewl breaking past Kaeya's lips brought their attention back to him. The
fact that there were two Alphas in the room with him and neither of them was inside him yet
was an absolute offense, and Kaeya would not stand for that.
Blissfully unaware of the state of both men, he pulled away from Ajax's embrace and
prostrated on the mattress, before shamelessly lifting his hips and presenting himself to them.
He could feel his own slick running thick down his trembling thighs, and a moan of pure
elation echoed in the room when he felt a tongue pressing against his hole.
For a couple of seconds his vision blacked out. Kaeya's been touched starved for so long the
intimate affection was almost enough to send him reeling over the edge.
Then a hand ran gently through his hair, bringing Kaeya's focus towards the cock that was
being presented to him. He held it eagerly in his hand before darting his tongue out and
giving it a series small licks that had the man above him huff with amusement.
"Don't tease me like that, darling. Come on, now. Be a good boy and leave it nice and slick
for me," Zhongli told him, the hand in Kaeya's hair tugging slightly at the strands, causing the
omega to moan out in pleasure before he took the entire length in his mouth. "That's it, kitten.
Such a warm mouth."
"He tastes so fucking good I could eat him out all day. Shall I use my fingers on him?" Ajax
asked Zhongli meeting his eyes over the naked expanse of Kaeya's back, before pressing a
sweet kiss to Kaeya's sacrum, right between the dimples on his lower back.
"Yes. Be very thorough with it. He must fit us both comfortably if we want to claim him
properly," Zhongli tucked a silky strand of Kaeya's hair behind his pierced ear, eyes closing
for a second as Kaeya purred around the girth in his mouth. "I would loathe to hurt him in the
process."
"Fuck," Ajax closed his eyes for a second, but his fingers were already running along Kaeya's
inner thigh, collecting the slick pouring in rivulets down his skin and smearing it around the
round shape of his buttocks. "Can't wait to be inside him with you. Li, to feel you so close
inside him. Shit."
"I'm looking forward to it, too. Make sure you prepare him well for us then, yes?"
Kaeya jolted forward at the first intrusion of Ajax's finger inside him, causing him to gag and
choke on Zhongli's cock. He pulled back with tears gathered in the corners of his eyes and
eagerly rocked his hips backwards to meet Ajax's movements.
However, with how slick he was, the single finger was barely satisfactory, and frustration
soon bubbled deep in his chest.
"More!" he demanded, reaching back and sliding two of his long slender fingers inside
himself alongside Ajax's. "More! More, more, more!"
"That's so fucking hot," Ajax sat back for a couple of seconds just taking in the sight of
Kaeya fingering himself, tears of frustration in his eyes as he tried, and failed, to give himself
some semblance of relief.
"I do believe the sight must be otherworldly, but don't get too distracted. He's in pain,
remember?" Zhongli reminded Ajax, his thumb wiping away Kaeya's furtive tears.
"You say that because you're not seeing what I'm seeing," Ajax protested, but he tugged
Kaeya's hand away and diligently continued to prepare the way for them.
The last time he'd been this intimate with Kaeya he'd still been pregnant, his belly full and
round, and his appetite voracious. Now Kaeya moved like the dancer he was trained to be,
lithe and agile and rolling his hips around in a desperate chase for pleasure and relief.
Zhongli had returned to occupy Kaeya's mouth, give him something to worry about while
Ajax urgently worked him open. The time for teasing was over. Memories of Kaeya full with
their baby seemed to stir the starving alpha in him, paired with the glorious view of his
husband slowly fucking Kaeya's mouth, and the built up desire he'd been keeping at a low
simmer for the past few months...
Kaeya let out a scream of pure pleasure when Ajax curled his fingers inside him and expertly
prodded his sensitive prostate. The hand Kaeya had on Zhongli's hip for support clenched
into the flesh with bruising strength as he rocked his hips into the touch with desperate
abandon.
"-lease! Please!" Kaeya sobbed, hiding his face against Zhongli's thigh.
"Li, I swear by the Tsaritsa's holy pair of tits if I am not balls deep inside him in the next
fifteen seconds I will file for divorce," Ajax threatened, sounding considerably more
breathless than he did before. Kaeya blinked back at him, wiggling his ass in the air, an
invitation, a plea.
"Yes," Kaeya drawled, spreading his legs farther apart. "Yes, Alpha. Please."
Zhongli hissed a curse under his breath, something deep and rumbling and imperceptible, and
in the same moment he helped Kaeya sit up and kissed his lips so gently Kaeya would have
mistaken it for a soft breeze.
"Kaeya, love, how do you want us?" he asked, cupping Kaeya's cheek and stopping him from
looking around towards Ajax. "No, no, sweetheart. Eyes on me. I know it hurts but we need
an answer. Would you like us both at once or would you want Ajax to ease you into it first?"
"Alpha..."
"I'm here. We're both here."
Ajax kissed Kaeya's shoulder, a confirmation of those words, and Kaeya relaxed into it.
"I need!" Kaeya held onto Zhongli's wrists, desperately trying to tug them away from his face
and down his body where he felt hot and uncomfortable. "Alpha!"
"Li, he can take us," Ajax groaned, thumbs hooking on his underwear's waistband and
tugging it down with a hiss of relief. "I made sure of it."
Feeling Ajax's cock hard and ready pressed against his damp thigh, Kaeya immediately
shifted his hips so he could angle their bodies into the proper position. Ajax hummed
appreciatively, both hands holding and spreading the soft flesh of his buttocks so he could fit
his cock between them.
"At the same time, then," Zhongli shifted on the bed until they were holding Kaeya between
them. "Kiss for good luck."
Ajax reached over Kaeya's shoulder and briefly pressed his lips against Zhongli's, the angle
awkward and uncomfortable, but the sentiment sweet. And then the kiss broke with a gasp as
Zhongli pressed their lengths together in his large hand, pumped them a couple of times and
slowly, carefully, aligned them with Kaeya's entrance.
Kaeya was trembling in their arms, his legs shaking with the effort of holding himself up as
Ajax slowly lowered him onto their cocks. Kaeya whimpered small and quiet, but his eyes
closed tightly and he could feel Zhongli pressing tiny little kisses along his cheeks.
"You're doing so good, sweetheart," Zhongli reassured him, his voice rough around the edges
the further they slid into the pliant omega.
"Tight-" Ajax gasped, forehead pressing against the nape of Kaeya's neck. "So wet."
Kaeya felt the stretch, the heat of his body becoming unbearable in his need to be filled, to be
taken.
And then, like a balm being applied to an open wound, Kaeya bottomed out and immediately
his body relaxed. He leaned heavily against Ajax's chest, his head thrown back on his mate's
shoulder. He was panting, his chest heaving, sweat beading on his skin, but his mind felt
blissfully empty and his body wonderfully full.
He could feel a hand caressing along the lean muscles of his chest, down his stomach and up
again before settling on his hip. Had he been in his right mind, Kaeya would have felt self
conscious about how much attention was on him, on his body, on the marks left behind by his
frist pregnancy. As things were, all he could think about was how for the first time in his life
he felt like his place in the world was crystal clear.
There was nowhere else he wanted to be. There was nowhere else he should be. He belonged
there, between the men he loved, being pampered and appreciated and claimed.
They haven't moved yet, choosing instead to allow Kaeya some time to adjust to them. He
opened his eyes, stared at the ceiling and rolled his hips tentatively, a low moan breaking past
his lips.
"Fuck- Ajax," Zhongli's eyes were wide, beautiful amber glowing in the dim early evening
light.
"What's wrong?" Ajax asked, his hips moving imperceptibly and causing Kaeya to jolt again.
Zhongli's fingers tentatively pressed on the bulge of Kaeya's lower belly where the skin
stretched taut over the size of them inside him. There was something dark and hungry taking
over him. Kaeya saw it in his eyes, in the way he grasped Kaeya's waist and pulled him into a
bruising kiss.
"Move," Kaeya demanded, his head foggy with need. "Move!"
And so they did. Their patience apparently having run out, both Alphas set up a frantic pace.
Kaeya was overwhelmed with pleasure, pain, the breathtaking, mind-numbing feeling of
being filled and stretched and taken and owned.
Time seemed to slow down and speed up all at once, and everything around him disappeared,
the words being thrown at him an afterthought amidst their desperate lovemaking.
Ajax was mouthing at his neck again, teeth scraping, biting, tugging at the skin over his
mating gland, a possessive growl rumbling deep in his throat.
The sound of skin slapping against wet skin was loud in Kaeya's ears, their breaths damp and
shallow as they rushed towards climax, the urgency to completion causing their movements
to falter and become out of sync. It shouldn't feel as good as it did.
Kaeya heard his name, a prayer that reached no gods, devotion thick as honey. And just as his
body tensed with his release, he felt two sharp sets of teeth sink deep in his flesh, the bitter
tang of blood wafting around them as their bond snapped into place.
His vision blurred, his body went limp, and everything faded to black.
×
Kaeya hissed in pain, his hand clenching around Ajax's as Zhongli removed the bandages on
the back of his neck. The skin stretched around the wounds of his mating marks, causing the
healing scars to sting and burn. Fortunately, they healed well in the past few days, and the
skin was closing nicely. Still the pain was there every time Kaeya moved his head around a
little too quickly.
"They're healing well," Zhongli said as he gently pressed a cotton pad soaked with iodine
tincture to Kaeya's neck, and let it sit there for a while.
Kaeya huffed quietly against Ajax's shoulder as he held his hair away from the area Zhongli
was treating.
"I still can't believe that you nearly bit off a chunk of my neck," he shifted a little where he
was straddling Ajax's lap. "I expected that from Ajax, not you."
"Hey!"
"I... I got a little... Overexcited," Zhongli looked away, his cheeks coloured pink. "I have
apologised. When I saw how much you were bleeding... When I saw you passed out-"
"He thought he'd killed you," Ajax chuckled and held Kaeya a little closer, his cuddly
morning mood appeared to have increased tenfold after their bond. "To be fair, it was a little
unsettling."
Kaeya reached towards his neck, and very lightly touched the raised, irregular skin of his
newly acquired scars. He couldn't help but smile, his heart at peace with the way things went
through the worst of his heat.
For someone who hadn't experienced a cycle in years, Kaeya expected his heat to last longer
than four days. He did, however, remember Doctor Baizhu warning him that due to his
overuse of heat suppressants, his first few ones would likely be irregular until his body got
used to a proper cycle once again.
Something Kaeya was very much not looking forward to.
"Angel, drink some more water, will you?" Ajax pressed the cool bottle to Kaeya's naked
chest, causing Kaeya to jolt and yelp as the cold bottle touched his heated skin.
"Did you need to do that?" Kaeya protested, poking Ajax hard on his side.
"Has your knot gone down yet?" Zhongli asked, effectively breaking up the banter. "Kaeya
should bathe. Diluc has been calling non stop."
Ajax tentatively moved his hips and tried to pull out from Kaeya's wet heat but his knot still
caught around the rim of Kaeya's entrance, causing the omega to groan with discomfort.
"Not yet. Not enough to pull out without hurting him," Ajax informed their mate before
kissing Kaeya's cheek apologetically. "Sorry angel."
"No, 's fine. I don't know how your dicks haven't fallen off yet. My ass hurts."
"That's the beauty of taking turns," Zhongli chuckled. He must have deemed Kaeya's wound
sufficiently disinfected, because he proceeded to take off the cotton pads and apply some scar
ointment that smelled of spices Kaeya has never heard of but smelled amazing. "How are you
feeling?"
"Like I've been fucked raw by a pair of horny Alphas for four days straight with little to no
rest," Kaeya yawned and snuggled closer to Ajax. "Which is to say, I feel fantastic, but really
fucking tired."
"We'll take a nice bath, and then we'll get dressed and cuddle and call Diluc. If everything
goes well we'll be able to to pick up Yangmei in a couple of days," Zhongli ran his fingers
through Kaeya's hair, the gesture soothing and gentle.
Kaeya felt filthy. Though Ajax and Zhongli did their best to keep him washed and fed during
the past few days, it was virtually impossible when halfway through getting clean Kaeya
would turn around and demand more affections from his alphas. He was sweaty and covered
in body fluids not entirely his own and his stomach felt bloated and his hair was a greasy oily
tangled mess and he was desperate for a bath. Hopefully one that, for a change, wouldn't end
up with him being knotted again.
They'd tried it that very morning, and failed miserably. Exhibit one: his current attachment to
Ajax.
"Starving, too."
"I've already asked Ruoxin popo to bring some of her homemade stir fry. You'll love it, I
promise."
Kaeya hummed, relaxing in Ajax's arms and enjoying the quiet that settled around them.
Despite feeling gross and being desperate to take a nice warm bath, he felt so tired and cosy,
he didn't feel like moving at all. He'd forgotten how absolutely exhausting heats could be. All
he wanted to to was to lay down and sleep for a couple of days.
"Kae?"
"Mmh?"
"Are you... Happy?"
Kaeya somehow found the energy to pull away from Ajax's comfortable shoulder so he could
look at him. There was hope in his endless ocean blue eyes, but swimming in their depths a
vulnerability, a fear he hadn't seen there since their reunion months prior. The same kind of
fear that lurked in the background of his gaze when he held onto Kaeya and begged him to
never leave them again.
"Yes," Kaeya said, brushing his knuckles along the dotted freckles on Ajax's cheek. "Yes, I
am. I have my alphas, my bonded mates, I have my son, I have my brother, I have everyone I
love and need in my life at once. It only took me twenty-five years, and a hell of a lot of pain,
but I got here. When I look to the future, it doesn't seem so black and grey anymore."
"Angel..." Ajax swallowed around the lump in his throat, his arms wrapping loosely around
Kaeya's waist. "I know... That you said you didn't feel like you belonged until you were
bonded, because Zhongli and I were not only bonded, but also married. And I know that
marriage between three people isn't exactly permitted but..."
Kaeya deflated a little, and Zhongli was right there next to him lacing their fingers together
and giving his hand a gentle squeeze.
"But," he said, taking over Ajax's train of thought when Ajax's words refused to form.
Whether it was nervousness or something else, Kaeya couldn't quite tell. "We've been
thinking about doing a ceremony all of our own with our close family and friends. Nothing
big and extravagant, and it would not be legally recognised but, it would be real for us."
"Zhongli, are you... Are you proposing to me?"
"Yes. On behalf of myself and Ajax, I am asking you to marry us," Zhongli said, looking a
little hesitant at first, but his nervousness quickly evaporated when he saw the look in Kaeya's
face.
"I'm naked, covered in cum inside and out, there's stuff in my hair I have no idea what it is,
but I'm certain it is something unspeakable, your husband is still buried balls deep inside me,
and you thought this was the perfect moment to propose?"
"Yes."
"Absolutely."
The couple spoke in unison, their smiles. Broad and bright and so very hopeful. Kaeya let out
a choked sob and punched Ajax's chest, the hit lacking the strength it needed to harm, but the
sentiment was carried over somehow.
"My love, you don't have to say yes right away, if ever. I understand that we've only just
bonded and we might be springing this on you far too soon. So you don't have to give us an
answer now," Zhongli soothed, once again squeezing Kaeya's hand.
"How long have you been planning this?" Kaeya asked, wiping his tears with his hands.
"A few months? Maybe a couple of weeks after I returned from Snezhnaya. I brought it up to
Zhongli as a joke at first. Said something along the lines of how unfair it was that the law
didn't recognise polyamorous relationships as valid for marriage because I would marry you
in a heartbeat," Ajax told him, his smile still broad and beautiful on his face.
"And I took that seriously. I tried to speak to Ningguang about it, and she agreed with our
point of view, but did I really want to bring more controversy into my life by not only
marrying an alpha, having a surrogate child, only to later publicly announce that our lovely
surrogate was actually our mate, and now changing the law so I could legally marry that
surrogate when mating bonds are just as effective and completely recognisable as far as the
law is concerned?" Zhongli pouted, his fingers curling his long braid around them as he
spoke.
"Honestly he's just really upset he won't be able to officially call you his prime omega
consort," Ajax mock-whispered.
"Prime what now?"
"Well, as the first and so far only omega in our pack, that would make you prime omega.
Hierarchically speaking, you'd be above Ajax as matriarch," Zhongli explained.
"I'd get to call you mommy," Ajax purred, and Kaeya moaned when he felt Ajax twitch inside
him.
"I'm calling the police on you," Kaeya pushed Ajax away and looked down at his hands. His
wrists were bruised, there were love bites and blotted marks of purples and yellows all over
his body, marks of their time together the past few days.
A marriage proposal was absolutely something he didn't expect to happen, but the idea of a
small, intimate ceremony only for them, surrounded by their dearest friends... Kaeya wanted
that. Kaeya wanted to celebrate their love, to share it with everyone he held close to his chest.
His guest list would be incredibly small, but he didn't need much. Diluc, and Adelinde,
Mona, Fischl, Ayato, if his heart had healed enough to allow him to attend. He assumed
Thoma would come as Diluc's plus one. Maybe he'd take the opportunity to reconnect with
Albedo, Sucrose and Klee again.
Kaeya smiled at the thought.
"I accept."
"What?" Zhongli leaned a little closer.
"Your proposal," Kaeya said, his cheeks hurting as his smile grew bigger. "I accept your
proposal. This ceremony, I want it."
"Wait, you're being serious?" Ajax asked, turning Kaeya's chin and meeting his eyes. "Angel,
please. Don't play with us."
"I'm not playing, Ajax. I want it. I want it even though it means nothing on paper. It means
the world to me."
Zhongli smacked his lips to Kaeya's, eager and elated, his mouth moving between kisses and
laughter as he professed his love for the omega repeatedly.
"We really have been doing this backwards, haven't we?" Kaeya commented once Zhongli
allowed him some room to breathe.
"Ah, but my darling, would you have it any other way?" Zhongli chuckled, still lavishing
sweet kisses all over Kaeya's skin.
"With you two? No. No, I absolutely would not."
Chapter End Notes
😘 I shall meet you again next week for the conclusion of this story. What a wild ride
this has been. As always thank you for sticking around. Know that I appreciate you all.
Omega Consort
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Kaeya paced around his bedroom, his fingers running through his hair, his thumbnail tucked
between his teeth as he waited.
It was a game he loathed to play, the waiting game. Not being able to do anything to produce
results faster.
He sat down, stood back up, and resumed his pacing.
"What if it is negative?" Kaeya asked his words muffled by the hand in his mouth.
"Would that make you happy?" Ajax asked from where he sat on their nest.
"I don't know," Kaeya said, glancing at the entrance to the bathroom. "What if it's positive? "
"Would that make you happy?" Ajax asked again.
"I don't know!"
Zhongli held Kaeya's wrist, causing him to halt in his stride. Then he tugged Kaeya's hand
until he was being comfortably tucked onto his lap, his head resting upon Zhongli's shoulder.
"We'll figure it out, Kaeya, but you working yourself up like that will not help in any way,"
Zhongli told him, tugging Kaeya's chin so their eyes could meet. "Yangmei is nearly two. If it
turns out that you are, in fact, expecting, then it would be a nice age difference between the
two. We've talked about expanding the family a few times in the past, we've even been
talking about moving into a bigger place. But if you decide it's too early then we will be here
to support whatever decision you make."
"I know," Kaeya shuddered at the thought, his head lying heavily on Zhongli's shoulder. "I'm
just scared. I just got approved to build the youth centre, the ceremony date is coming fast
and I still haven't found a nearby hotel that has vacancy to fit Ajax's entire family. Why did
we decide to hold the ceremony during Lantern Rite?"
"Pretty lights go brr," Ajax murmured, like the thought had exited his lips before it even fully
formed in his head.
The timer on Kaeya's phone went off and all three of them jolted, looking at the piece of
technology with a mix of dread and anxiety.
Kaeya got up from Zhongli's lap, swallowed down his nerves and walked into the bathroom
where the pregnancy test sat menacingly on top of the counter. He approached it, reached out
to it, but as his fingers touched the damn thing he pulled back.
"I can't."
Ajax was on him in a second, his hand rubbing soothing circles around Kaeya's back as
Kaeya tried not to spiral into an anxiety attack.
"Breathe, angel. You're fine."
"Do you want me to look first?" Zhongli offered.
"Y-yeah. Please," Kaeya asked, leaning into Ajax's mooring embrace.
Zhongli took the test and looked at it. His expression betrayed nothing, his hands were
steady, his breathing didn't waver. Kaeya waited with bated breath.
"Negative," Zhongli announced, turning the test around to show them the results. "Not
pregnant."
Kaeya felt like a block of cement had been lifted off his chest. He pushed Ajax's arms away
and sat down on the closed lid of the toilet, his head in his hands as he tried to figure out how
exactly that made him feel.
After spending the first few heats with his mates, Kaeya had been convinced that his cycle
had finally stabilised again. However when his most recent heat failed to come on the
predicted date, and still refused to show up two weeks later, Kaeya had convinced himself
that somehow his birth control had failed and his last cycle had produced a little addition to
the family.
To hear that it was not yet time had been an undeniable relief. He hadn't known how not
ready for it he was until Zhongli had announced he wasn't pregnant. And yet, a small, selfish
part of him couldn't help but be incredibly disappointed.
"Sweetheart are you all right?" Zhongli had crouched down in front of him, his knees
cracking as he assumed the position and causing Ajax and Kaeya to laugh fondly at him. "Ah,
my age graces us with an original soundtrack."
"You're thirty-five, stop talking like you're missing your dentures, grandpa," Ajax rolled his
eyes, playfully pushing Zhongli's arm. "But seriously, Kaeya, how are you feeling?"
Kaeya shrugged, his hands coming to rest on his neck, his fingers tracing the scars of his
bonding marks. "I'm relieved, but I'm also disappointed. I can't fathom why my heat is so late
if I'm not pregnant again."
"Stress," Zhongli suggested, holding Kaeya's hands and kissing his fingers. "You said it
yourself. Getting the youth centre project approved as well as organising our wedding
ceremony has been taking a toll on you. Even with Ajax and myself working with you,
they're both extremely important events that will affect your life long term. You've been
under quite a bit of pressure these past couple of months, so it wouldn't surprise me if your
body would reflect that."
It did make sense. Kaeya had been working non stop on the youth centre project, talking to
anyone and everyone who would lend him their ears in an attempt to gather a group of people
who'd be willing to teach the classes he was proposing. Among the many connections
between himself, Zhongli, Ajax and Diluc, they managed to come up with a long list of
people who were excited to add their contributions to Kaeya's passion project. From Eula
who excitedly embraced the idea of becoming a dance instructor, to Venti, an old
acquaintance of Zhongli's who was a professional musician that caught wind of Kaeya's plans
and sought him out himself to offer his services as a music teacher, to even Albedo, who
enthusiastically accepted Kaeya's suggestion to teach art classes.
Before Kaeya knew, he had even a couple of scholars from Sumeru offering to give online
classes in botany and creative writing. Kaeya had been overwhelmed with how quickly and
how smoothly things were being set in motion.
In a matter of months he'd drafted his proposal, requested an audience with the Tianquan and
the Yuheng of the Liyue Qixing, presented his plans, made the amendments that they
requested in order for the approval of his project and gathered the necessary staff to make his
vision come to life. All that while dealing with irregular heats, separation anxiety from his
newly formed bonds, hormonal imbalences, wedding planning, raising a child and—
"Kaeya!"
He looked up to see Ajax looking back at him, his touch firm and cool as he bracketed
Kaeya's cheeks between his large hands. Kaeya sucked in a deep quivering breath, his hands
shaking as he carefully wrapped them around Ajax's wrists.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't. Just look at me," Ajax rubbed his thumbs along the salience of Kaeya's cheekbones,
the touch delicate but grounding. "Okay?"
"Yeah. I'm... Yeah," Kaeya breathed, eyes closing as he leaned into the touch.
His weekly sessions with Lisa had turned into biweekly after the progress Kaeya made
following his bond to Ajax and Zhongli, but lately he felt like it wasn't enough any more. His
anxiety had been feeling like a sheen of electricity buzzing just under the surface of his skin,
causing him to feel nauseated and emotionally drained when things deviated from his plans.
Now that he thinks about it, it didn't surprise him that he'd mistaken his anxiety symptoms for
pregnancy symptoms. They'd always manifested eerily similarly on him.
"Darling, look at me," Zhongli called, his eyes gentle and warm. "I think we need a break.
We've all been working hard, so why don't the four of us go out and have lunch somewhere,
and then come home, pile up on our nest and watch a film and take the rest of the day off? No
wedding planning, no youth centre, no work, just lazy cuddling with our son and lots of ice
cream."
It sounded like heaven, really. Kaeya couldn't remember the last time he'd taken a break that
didn't involve him struggling with his heat. So to spend the day with his family just being
lazy and forgetting responsibilities sounded like a blessing.
Smiling, he stood from where he sat and brushed his hair away from his face. "I'd like that,"
Kaeya told them, accepting Ajax's sweet hug as he wrapped his arms around Kaeya's waist
and tugged him close. "I'd like that a lot."
×
Mt. Aocang had looked lovely in the autumn, the treetops were painted in hues of gold and
red, the breeze had been cool and carried with it the sharp tang of the cloudy fog that
surrounded its summit, and the memories Kaeya had made there were stored fondly in his
heart.
But in winter it looked even more beautiful.
There was snow everywhere, the bare branches of the massive Sandbearer tree that stood
proudly in the middle of the mountaintop lake seemed to reach towards the sky and playfully
tickle the clouds. Kaeya sat quietly on the back of Diluc's town car, hands shaking in both
excitement and giddiness, as he mentally recited his vows over and over again.
Holding the ceremony in Mt. Aocang had seemed a tad excessive to Kaeya, especially
considering their agreement to keep it as small and intimate as they could. Adding to that the
fact that their union wouldn't be recognised in the eyes of the law, Kaeya never imagined the
lengths his mates would go through to make this wedding feel as legitimate as any other.
Kaeya fidgeted with the long sleeves of his red wedding attire, his fingers gently tracing the
gold embroidery with admiration. It was Ajax's idea, as all outlandish suggestions seemed to
be, to wear traditional Liyue robes during their ceremony. "I already wore a boring threepiece in my first wedding," was his excuse.
"He wants to see you wear a wedding hanfu," revealed Zhongli later, while Ajax slept
soundly on the sofa while cradling Yangmei to his chest.
It had been easy to ride the waves of excitement and accept their suggestions. Kaeya did
refuse the heavily ornamental headdress, but he compromised by wearing a simplified
version of a traditional xiaoguan designed and crafted by Zhongli himself. To say that Kaeya
had cried when Zhongli presented it to him the night before would be an understatement. The
piece was delicate, made with gold and rubies and engraved with symbols he couldn't even
pretend to begin to understand. He planned to sit with his (future) husband and demand an
explanation for every intricate little detail he managed to lovingly carve into the piece.
"Adelinde texted. They're ready for you," Diluc said with a smile, effectively bringing Kaeya
down from the clouds. "Ajax finally managed to wrangle his family into some semblance of
propriety."
"Did Zhongli strangle anyone after the flower debacle?" Kaeya asked.
"Ganyu didn't mention any homicides so far, but she insists that he is not happy with the fact
that they replaced calla lilies with cecilias without consulting the three of you first."
Kaeya laughed, impossibly fond, his heart so full it felt almost too big to live in his chest. He
closed his eyes reached for Diluc's hand and gave it a squeeze.
"You'll be there the entire time, right?"
"I will. I'm not going to leave your side, Kaeya."
Kaeya nodded, his smile vanishing from his lips.
Diluc, Adelinde and Elzer had been the only ones to attend on his behalf. Kaeya had sent
invites to Ayato, Mona and Albedo, but unfortunately Ayato, and by extension Thoma, was
far too busy planning his own wedding to be able to attend Kaeya's ceremony, Mona had
come down with a respiratory infection after she and Fischl went skinny dipping at two in the
morning, and Albedo wasn't in Mondstadt - he'd apparently been hired by Guuji Yae to be
part of a book festival back in Inazuma.
Compared to Zhongli's seemingly never-ending list of close friends and Ajax's massive
family, he felt like he was riding into war in a little oar boat, next to an armada of war ships.
Of course, he knew most of Ajax's family by now, and quite a lot of Zhongli's friends as well,
but it wasn't the same.
Still, this was his day. It was about celebrating their love, and truly the only people who
needed to be present were himself, Zhongli and Ajax, and those were all accounted for.
"Young master," Elzer called as he opened the backseat door. "Are you ready?"
"Mn. Let's go."
Kaeya realised very quickly, as they neared the location of the ceremony, that it didn't matter
who was present and who wasn't, because his eyes focused solely on Ajax and Zhongli, clad
in their finest silks, their smiles as broad as Kaeya's if the pain in his cheeks was anything to
go by.
Diluc walked steadily by his side, and as Kaeya passed by Adelinde he smiled as she
pretended not to cry into a tissue.
Officiating their union was Yunhe, a woman that, according to Zhongli, was the keeper of the
Temple of Morax, an old family friend who had raised Ganyu and taught her the ways of the
Adepti before she decided to live in Liyue harbour and work for Zhongli.
Ajax had very unhelpfully added, in that impish tone of voice he used when he wanted to
tease their mate, that she was a genius inventor who treated technology the same way a chef
would treat food. Kaeya wondered how her devotion to Morax and technology found a
common ground, but it seemed to work for her.
Surrounded by their dearest ones, Kaeya spent the ceremony in a daze. Yunhe's speech was
intricate and flowery and Kaeya was only half-listening, his heart drumming a steady rhythm
in his chest as his fingers very delicately smoothed the fabric over his stomach before falling
next to him again. Part of him wanted her to hurry up, to stop talking, to tell them to do their
bows already (Kaeya had practiced kowtowing over and over in front of the mirror the last
few months, he wanted to get everything perfectly, to bow at the right angles, to make
Zhongli and Ajax proud).
At some point, Yangmei managed to escape Ganyu's careful watch and he toddled happily
towards the trio, babbling baby nonsense as he clung to Kaeya's hanfu. The girl had jumped
up, called the boy back, but Zhongli had merely given her a small shake of his head before
Kaeya picked their son up in his arms and held him on his hip for a moment while Yunhe
proceeded with her lovely (dreadfully dull) speech.
And then finally, finally, Yunhe took Yangmei from his arms, and Kaeya felt Zhongli hold his
hand, and he spoke his vows clearly, his voice carried easily, echoing within the tall stone
walls of the mountain-carved temple. Then Ajax, holding Kaeya's other hand, swearing his
devotion and love, promising protection and safety.
Kaeya only stumbled twice during his own vows. His voice cracking with emotion, his smile
so big it made his face hurt, but he spoke with his heart, with the blood that ran through his
veins, with the soul that inhabited his very being.
And then they bowed, first to the heavens, then to their loved ones and then to each other.
Kaeya felt a little sick.
The rush of adrenaline and months of preparation seemed to go by in a blink of an eye,
slipping through his fingers like sand.
"Is it done?" Kaeya asked as their guests started to stand up so they could move to the
reception room.
"It is. You are officially our husband. Our omega consort," said Zhongli, his chest puffing
with pride.
"Mommy," purred Ajax in Kaeya's ear, his lips brushing against his jaw.
"I want a divorce," Kaeya pushed Ajax away, but even he couldn't pretend to be upset when
Ajax's boyish smile looked so radiant.
He loved him. He loved them. Sometimes the weight of his love felt overwhelming, like it
would crush past his ribs and burst out of his chest. Sometimes he loved them so fiercely it
terrified him. And sometimes his love was all he knew, all he could focus on to bring him
peace and serenity.
Again, his fingers brushed the silk of his hanfu, and he brushed the wrinkles down the front
of his stomach.
"I'm hungry," Ajax said, draping himself on Kaeya and resting his chin on his shoulder.
"Reception will start soon," Zhongli reassured him, before turning to Kaeya. "Are you feeling
well? You look a little pale. Should you sit for a moment?"
"I'm fine," Kaeya lied, his smile a little forced, now. "I think I'm just relieved it's over."
Footsteps approached them and Kaeya looked up to see Yunhe still holding Yangmei. The
toddler giggled as he bounced in her arms, his little chubby hands making grabbing motions
towards Kaeya.
"He's a very adorable baby," Yunhe said with a fond smile. "Reminds me of Ganyu when she
was little. So chubby and energetic was she, couldn't stop toddling around, so curious about
the world. Ah, I remember when she started talking, the silly silly things she used to say..."
"Yunhe, once again, thank you so much for officiating this ceremony for us," Zhongli gently
interrupted his hand touching her elbow. "I cannot tell you how much it meant to us."
"You don't need to tell me anything. I officiated your first wedding, I officiated your second
wedding, I'd be damned if I didn't officiate your third. And my words remain true, Ah-Li.
You have lovely taste in the partners you choose. Dear Guizhong was a brave woman with a
very strong personality. Morax will watch carefully over her. Childe Ajax brought up in you a
playful side I hadn't seen since you were a child. He's good for you. And sweet Kaeya is the
earth beneath your feet. He will keep you humble and grounded, bring you back home when
you drift too far. I wish you nothing but love and happiness, Ah-Li."
"I'm happy to have your support. I was afraid you'd side with my grandmother when I
announced my engagement to Ajax," Zhongli looked a little forlorn, his eyes sweeping over
the room. "Does she know about today?"
"Yes, but not from me," Yunhe sighed. "I understand why you chose not to invite her. Leongfuren is... Intense. It pains me to say, but not inviting her was the wise decision."
"She forgets her place more often than she should," Zhongli's voice sounded
uncharacteristically bitter, and Kaeya shifted Yangmei's weight on his hip to hold his
husband's hand.
"Have you decided not to pass your titles onto your son, then?" she asked, slowly steering
their small group towards the reception room.
"Yes. The imperial line will end with me. The only reason why I don't give up my titles is
because I loathe to put my family through yet another scandal. My grandmother would
probably have a heart attack."
"I don't wish death on anyone," Ajax said, a little skip to his step. "But maybe abdicating isn't
such a bad idea after all."
"Childe Ajax! Mind your words!" Yunhe scolded him. "In the Temple of Morax!"
His impish smile stretched wide on his lips, before he hurried into the room to greet the
remaining guests and spend time with his family.
Zhongli and Kaeya followed closely behind, Kaeya constantly trying to keep Yangmei's
curious hands from the dangling jewellery in his hair.
Small talk was something he wasn't fond of at all, but luckily the guests were mostly people
he'd spoken to before, either personally, or via video call in Ajax's family's case. He was very
well acquainted with a few of their guests, but still socialising drained the energy right out of
him.
Unsurprisingly, that had been happening more often lately. Kaeya smiled, his fingers
twitching.
Ajax's mother met his eyes at some point during their exchange of pleasantries, and she
knowingly patted his shoulder.
"Sit down, Kaeya. You should save energy," she told him, her accent rich and incredibly
warm. She glanced down briefly. "Don't push it. Yes?"
Kaeya paused, his brows furrowing for a moment before understanding dawned on him. "I
will. Thank you for your concern, Ms. Polina."
"It's mama to you, silly boy!" She protested, not for the first time. "All sons call me mama! If
you're my son's omega, I am mama to you too! How many times I tell you?"
Kaeya tried not to laugh, but her outrage thickened her accent so much he couldn't help the
incredible wave of comfort and tenderness he felt for the woman. Kaeya nodded, and allowed
her to pat his face affectionately.
"I'm sorry mama, I'll try to remember."
"Good boy. Now go sit. Go. Before food comes."
Dinner was served shortly after, and Kaeya felt almost dizzy with the sheer variety of dishes
they presented. There was a little of every cuisine representing their nations, the scent of
different spices making his stomach churn and he tried to keep his breathing shallow and
light not to give away his nausea.
Every now and then, some of Zhongli's friends would approach them and congratulate them.
Beidou and Ningguang took the chance to introduce them to their son, a young teen they've
rescued from Inazuma after Beidou found him hiding between a few crates on her ship.
Beidou explained briefly that the reason why she'd been in Inazuma the day Kaeya returned
to Liyue with Zhongli was to request the necessary paperwork so they could officially adopt
Kazuha.
The kid was mild mannered and gentle, but he held a fire behind his eyes that Kaeya
recognised well. Perhaps, once the youth centre was completed, he could invite Kazuha to
take a few of their classes to see if something sparked his interest. He'd talk to Ningguang
and Beidou about it some other time.
Zhongli introduced him to his little brother, Xiao, as well. Kaeya had nearly choked on his
food when the young man approached their table, his eyes fierce but his tone gentle, almost
shy as he spoke.
"I didn't know you had a brother," Kaeya hissed when Xiao left to join Ganyu at their table.
"Zhongli?!"
"He's fruit of one of my father's many dalliances. I wasn't aware of his existence until around
ten years ago or so. We're close but Xiao has been through a lot in his young life. Out of
respect I choose to not mention him until he's ready to show himself. He's a good kid, and I
wish I could see him more often, but he struggles with personal demons I cannot even begin
to pretend to understand. So I let him be, he knows where to find me should he need me. The
fact that he is here today means more to me than he will ever know."
Kaeya's heart ached, but he understood Xiao in a way he doubted many could. Some people
needed others to get over their trauma. Some other people felt overwhelmed with the
knowledge that someone else was privy to their deepest darkest thoughts and would rather
process things on their own. Maybe in time Xiao would heal enough to start relying on
Zhongli more. He could see it in his husband's eyes that he would like that very much.
Teucer, Yangmei and Diluc seemed to have formed their own little group. The moment the
two of them met, they had got on like a house on fire, and their shared love for Yangmei had
caused their friendship to blossom. Kaeya watched as Teucer gestured widely with his hands
as he spoke and Diluc's eager nodding as they talked to one another. What they could
possibly have in common that sparked such an animated conversation was beyond Kaeya's
understanding but he was glad Teucer was getting along with someone outside his family
circle.
A waiter walked by and offered to pour Kaeya a glass of wine. Kaeya covered his glass with
his hand and shook his head. "Thank you, but I'm not drinking," he said, before turning his
attention to Adelinde.
She was engaged in a deep conversation with Ajax's mother and Yunhe, the three of them
occasionally looking in their direction before bursting into laughter.
"Ugh," Ajax lamented, sinking further down his chair. "Bet you a blowjob they're exchanging
embarrassing childhood stories about us."
"I'm not blowing you in the bathroom," Kaeya said with a small frown. "Or anywhere in the
Temple of Morax, you heathen."
"But, Angel! Mommy. Babygirl. You look so hot. You smell so good-"
"I will bite your dick off," Kaeya threatened.
"Mmh, don't threaten me with a good time."
"Absolute menace."
Desserts were served, eaten and the dance floor was open for business. Kaeya would later
laugh until his eyes teared up at the videos taken of Teucer trying to get Diluc to dance,
Yangmei bouncing happily next to them with his happy baby giggles filling the venue.
Ajax invited Kaeya for a dance, but Kaeya refused, leaning back on his seat and patting his
tummy. "I'm so full I can't even stand. You could always dance with Zhongli."
"I danced with him on our first wedding!" Ajax pouted.
And, really, how was Kaeya supposed to resist those puppy eyes? He stood and allowed Ajax
to take him to the dancefloor where they swayed together in a rhythm all of their own, slow
and gentle in contrast with the animated music. Then Zhongli came to take his place, and
Ajax twirled away to grab his mother's hands and drag her for a dance.
"Kaeya?" Zhongli called, his eyes locked on him like a bird of prey. "My love, is everything
okay?"
"Does it look like something is wrong?"
Shaking his head, Zhongli let out a small sigh. "Not wrong, exactly. I can feel you through
our bond, you're happy, incredibly so. But there's this underlying current of anxiety, too. And
I don't know where that is coming from."
"The lights!" Someone called loud enough to be heard over the music. Kaeya looked over to
see Tonia pointing at the windows. "The lights are showing!"
Everyone filed out of the Temple to witness the rise of the Xiao lanterns that carried the
wishes of the people across Liyue. Kaeya stepped onto the snow-covered mountaintop and
looked up at the sky as the staff distributed lanterns to the guests. Yangmei clung to Kaeya's
leg again, his eyes tearing up as exhaustion started to catch up to him, and soon he felt Ajax
and Zhongli flanking him, their hands resting on Kaeya's back.
"Love and prosperity," he heard Zhongli say before he released his lantern into the night sky.
"Ah, peace and health," Ajax smiled, kissing Kaeya's temple before releasing his lantern.
Kaeya lifted his as well and Yangmei babbled incoherently his eyes glowing honey in the
golden light of the flame.
"I agree," Kaeya chuckled before he too, released his Xiao lantern.
"He did make a valid point," Zhongli nodded, kissing Yangmei's soft cheek. "Such a smart
boy. Just like his baba."
"I wonder if this little one will be just as smart, too," Kaeya mused, once again brushing his
hand down his stomach.
Zhongli tensed next to him. Ajax dropped his hand.
"Sweetheart?"
"You were right, you know, when you said I was feeling anxious. Remember a couple of
weeks ago when I did that pregnancy test and it came out negative?"
"Yeah?" Zhongli moved so he could better meet Kaeya's eyes.
"Well, my heat was still late. And I've been extremely sensitive to strong smells lately.
Especially food."
Ajax's eyes widened. "Your morning coffee. You've been refusing to drink it because it makes
you feel sick."
"Mhm. So I went to Doctor Baizhu, and asked him to do a blood test."
"Kaeya," Zhongli called, his voice but a whisper, holding so much hope. "Kaeya!"
"I was getting ready this morning when I got the call. Results came back positive."
The celebratory yell that tore past Ajax's throat seemed to echo infinitely between the
mountains of Minlin. Zhongli had only time to pick up Yangmei before Ajax was crushing
Kaeya's lips with his own, tears of pure elated happiness running down his cheeks.
"Fuck. Fuck! Angel, you're going to make me a dad again?"
"Seems that way."
"Fuck!"
Zhongli smiled, running his fingers through Ajax's hair. "I believe you owe me a crate of
osmanthus wine."
"Li, you knocked our omega up again. I'll buy you ten!"
"You made a bet?"
"Well. I, too, thought it was quite suspicious your sudden aversion to certain foods. I was
going to suggest an appointment with Doctor Baizhu after the ceremony, but it seems you
beat me to it," Zhongli was incredibly gentle as he pressed his hand to Kaeya's flat stomach.
"I cannot find the words to tell you how incredibly happy I am. In fact, happy feels like too
little a word to truly represent what I'm feeling. Kaeya, my sweet love."
"Stop being a sap," Kaeya bit his lip and hid his face in Zhongli's shoulder as Ajax fell to his
knees to press a string of kisses along Kaeya's belly over the layers of red fabric. "You two
are going to make me cry."
Yangmei lay his little head on Zhongli's shoulder, and let out a tiny tired yawn, before his
eyes closed. Kaeya smiled, leaning back against Zhongli's half embrace while his hand gently
ran through the silky strands of Ajax's hair.
It terrified him, still, the idea of having another baby, the resurfacing of old scars. But he had
to trust his mates. History was not going to repeat itself.
This time he was very much certain of his place in the world, and it was right there, between
Zhongli, Ajax and their little ones, watching the lanterns float up and away, dotting the night
sky as the boom of the fireworks joined them in the distance.
FIN
Chapter End Notes
Leong Jiangli was born on first day of autumn. She came screaming and she came
healthy and she came hungry, and Kaeya may or may not have cried a lot when he held
her and fed her for the first time.
×
That's all folks!
A big thank you to those of you who stuck with me for this long. I have no words to
express how much your support meant to me. ❤
If you caught the Kaeyato bug, stay tuned, because I may or may not be working on a
thing so I'm hoping this isn't the last time I see you all 😏
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