Group 1 Topic:
WHY IS THE FAMILY KNOWN AS A NATURAL INSTITUTION?
Ordinarily, when we say something is natural, we understand it to be anything coming from nature
itself. It is not produced or caused by people; it is inborn. The family is natural because it is not created by
religion or the state. It is a result of a natural relationship between a man and a woman, who are united
together as husband and wife and able to produce offspring, the fruits of their union.
This voluntary union of a man and a woman in a lifelong covenant of love is called marriage. The
difference between the sexes, male and female, makes a natural partnership. It is natural for a man and a
woman to be together. "It is not good for the man to be alone" (Gen 2:18). The vocation of marriage is written
in the very nature of man and woman as they came from the hand of the Creator.
The natural family is the fundamental social unit inscribed in human nature and is defined by marriage,
procreation, and in some cultures, adoption.
Free, secure, and stable families that welcome children are necessary for a healthy society (Word Congress of
Families, The Geneva Declaration, 1999).
“The first bond of society is marriage tie, the next our children; then the whole family of our house, and all
things in common.” -Cicero
How do we go about discussing family as a natural institution of society from where we all learn the
virtues of love and cooperation? How do these virtues develop our self-worth, which is a significant tool for
building meaningful relationships? We can begin by further understanding the concept of marriage.
Group 2 Topic:
MARRIAGE IN THE ORDER OF CREATION
Marriage is not a pure human institution despite the many variations it has undergone through the
centuries in different cultures and societies. Its dignity may not yet be completely clear; however, the
greatness of matrimonial union exists in all cultures as mentioned in the introductory lesson on family. The
well-being of the individual person is closely bound up with the healthy state of conjugal and family life (CCC,
n. 1603). The usual advice of parents to their children who are about to be married is, "If you want to raise a
healthy and happy family, love each other."
Conjugal love, the love of the married couple for each other, will be carried on as parental love for
children. Marriage is primarily about building families and not just about adult relationships. The union of a
man and a woman would mean begetting children. Marriage gives the space where children are welcomed
from which a family is built.
Every human being has a need to be loved and to have a home where he or she can plant his or her roots
and grow. The family is first in meeting this need. According to Saint John Paul II, concern for the child,
from the first moment of conception through birth, and throughout the years of infancy and youth, is the
primary and fundamental test of the relationship between one human being with another (Address in the
General Assembly of the United Nations, 1979).
The acceptance of children by parents and the family has far-reaching effects to the development of
our self-worth. If a child grows up in a supportive environment, he or she is most likely to feel confident about
himself or herself and will be able to form healthy and open relationships which will lead to fitting into the
society. On the other hand, if one comes from a problematic family, lacking in attention and appreciation, he
or she will find difficulty in building and maintaining relationships in circumstances he or she finds himself or
herself.
Group 3 Topic:
THE FAMILY IS A COMMUNITY OF LIFE AND LOVE
The family is a community of life and love. It means that parents are totally self-giving to each other to
be able to build a home. Together, everyone in the family cooperates in creating a quality home life where love
reigns.
Watching how our parents love each other unconditionally, forgive each other's faults, manage conflicts
successfully with charity and humility, and stay loyal to their loving union in spite of difficulties, provides us
with a social laboratory where we are given exemplary models of how to form meaningful and positive
relationships in the future. Learning what it means to love and to receive love in the family is actually
learning what it takes to be a human person who is called to extend love to others.
The love and life that blossom in the family must not be limited to the context of one's own family.
They must be diffused to all relationships with other families, friends, community, and society concretely.
Taking care of the elderly, the sick, or a sibling with special needs within our family, and accepting their
limitations and their inability to be entirely independent, are actually training us for our service to other
people in the society who may need our help.
In the document Familiaris Consortio, Saint John Paul II proposes ways of preserving family communion
or harmony through the following:
1. A great spirit of sacrifice. There can be no true love without the element of sacrifice. This love is
unconditional and sacrificial because there are no apparent reasons for loving except that the beloved is loved
for who he or she is and not for what he or she has, or what he or she does.
2. A generous openness of each member to understand the other. We strive to understand the other more
than we desire to be understood. This would require self-giving. It takes humility to suspend our own ideas
and opinions in order to listen and to be open to the other's point of view without judgment. This is a "heart"
matter. Opening communication lines will contribute to improving interpersonal relationships among family
members. It is a training for future life outside of the family.
3. Forbearance. This means exercising patience and self-control. Being a family, living in one house, and
contending with the varied details of life, the peculiar behavior of its members can easily cause us discomfort.
Forbearance enables us to tyake our share of the burden of each member, or we cease to be family. St. Paul
advises us to live our life "with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another, through
love" (Eph 4:2).
4. Pardon and reconciliation. There is no perfect family. Even in our most sincere intentions we still can hurt
others. Discord and conflict happen, but we must be ready to forgive those who hurt us because we are one
family. Through pardon and reconciliation, harmonious relationships are restored.
Group 4 Topic:
Here is a short poem from the book entitled, “Love, Adds A Little Chocolate: 100 Stories to Brighten
Your Day and Sweeten Your Life” by Medard Laz that would complement Saint John Paul II's proposals for
keeping harmony in the family.
The Most Important Words (Author Unknown)
The six most important words:
"I admit that I was wrong."
The five most important words
"You did a great job!"
The four most important words:
"What do you think?"
The three most important words:
"Could you please..."
The two most important words:
"Thank you."
The one most important word:
"We."
The least important word:
“I.”
These simple words will guide us to preserve harmony in the family if we take it by heart.
1. "I admit that I was wrong." We will be amazed by how our own simple admission of our mistake can spare
us from long arguments, tension, and useless pain. This can be observed when one party finally utters these six
words, and the other party in the conflict just loses his or her energy to continue arguing.
2. "You did a great job!" This is an affirmation, a compliment, and an acknowledgment of another's
accomplishment. Recognition of one's efforts and talents is a basic human need. Children need to hear these
words from parents more often and it is a great motivator for them. This also means that parents need to be
complimented as well.
3. "What do you think?" It feels good to be trusted to give an opinion on a particular matter. The person
would feel he or she c or she belongs, and he or she contributes. The children will try to maintain the respect
accorded them by their parents when they are consulted on issues affecting the family. counts, he
(10)4. "Could you, please..." We are elated when someone makes a polite request instead of ordering us to
do a favor for him or her. We get by many of our challenges through help from family members. Let us not
take our family for granted. They, too, deserve our politeness.
5. Thank you." These two words are very pleasing to the ears because others acknowledge the good we have
done for them. Gratitude is one virtue we need to first learn in the family.
6. "We." When we are a group, like a family, and we want to speak on behalf of the group, it is wise to use
"we" instead of "I" to show recognition of equal rights in the group. "We" also suggests to always have in mind
the benefit of the entire family, rather than our own when we make decisions. The seed for a healthy
cooperation in the family is to remember that each member is important-"Atin Ito." (This is ours.)
7. "I." To have the self as the focus of everything is unhealthy, both for the individual and the group to which
we belong. A narcissistic member destroys a family.
These are short simple words, but getting into the habit and disposition of applying these groups of
words, in support of the proposals of Saint John Paul II, requires humility and selflessness. It is through these
experiences of creating harmony in the family that we learn to form peaceful and meaningful relationships with
other people outside the Family including friends, community, and the bigger society.
Group 5 Topic:
THE FAMILY IS THE FIRST SOCIALIZING AGENT
How does the family train children to adapt to certain beliefs, standards of behavior, and values?
Socialization is the lifelong process of learning where the individual acquires the accepted beliefs, values,
norms, and behavior of the group (family) and society. It is also through socialization that the group's (family)
beliefs, values, norms, and behavior are transmitted or passed on from one generation to the next. Because of
the significance of early experiences and relationships, the family remains the most important socializing agent
in a child's life. The family has a lasting influence on the development of the child's personality and character.
How does the process of socialization happen in the family? There are three ways according to Belen
Medina, author of the Filipino Family (2nd Edition):
1. By motivating the child, supervising, and controlling his or her association, by a system of rewards and
punishment. For example, when parents want their child to use polite expressions as a way of showing respect
to them and to the older people, the father or the mother can tell the child that if he or she is heard using polite
words, he or she will be given a chocolate candy for dessert. The child will tend to repeat actions that give them
a reward. The parents can also constantly remind their children to dissociate from ill-mannered friends.
2. By the example of parents in relation to a saying, "values are better caught than taught." Modeling of
values by parents and adult members of the family is a more effective way of teaching desired values than
preaching through words alone. It is difficult for a mother to tell her son to quit smoking if all male grown-ups
in the house, especially the father, are smokers.
3. By actual teaching of skills. In most cases, if the father is a farmer, the child becomes an apprentice until he
or she is of the right age to take up the father's trade. It is not surprising to find a family of chefs, teachers, and
other fields of career because parents tend to teach their trade or profession to their children. Informally, this
is done by sharing experiences in the workplace and exposing the children to the relevant environment. This
example can explain the parents' influence on the career decisions of children.
Group 6 Topic:
ON THE TRANSFER OF VALUES BY PARENTS
Experiences at home set the direction toward the future behavior of children. Through deliberate teaching,
by observation, or by simply picking up the values, children may learn the following values which are practical
forms of loving within the Filipino family:
1. Paggalang - respect
2. Pagbabahala - concern for other people and work
3. Pagbabalikatan - sharing the burden of others
4. Pagmamalasakit - solicitous concern for people in need
5. Pagbabayanihan - cooperation and teamwork
6. Pakikipagkapwa-tao - solidarity and empathy
Note: Role-play the six practical forms of loving within the Filipino family during the reporting in a short
scenario, the one you can observe at home.
Living out these values in the family in daily life makes the family a center of love, affection,
intimacy, and companionship. The family becomes a source of emotional comfort, psychological security, a
sense of belonging, and social conscience of children. There is no substitute for the love and care an individual
receives from the family. One effect of socialization is the development of trust. When a child learns to trust
himself or herself and others, he or she then develops self-worth. With self-worth intact, he or she will be
confident to relate with others outside of the family.