Manoj Vasudevan, “Pull Less, Bend More.” I was 24 years old. I had a nice job, nice car, nice hair. Still my girlfriends didn't stay for long. Have you ever had problems in your relationships with others? What was wrong with them? Contest Chair, ladies and gentlemen: When I was 24, I was living in India. I was still waiting for Cupid to shoot his arrow and find me the perfect partner. Guess what? It seems Cupid doesn't live in India. Soon I went to another angel who had all the answers: my mama. “Mama, I can't find good girls. How will I ever marry?” she said. “No problem. We can fix it.” My mama offered to introduce me to some good girls. Nice mama! Soon arrangements were made for my meeting with the first prospect, Sindhu. There she was. Wow! In a beautiful blue dress, she looked like a star from Bollywood. She looked at me like I was George Clooney. Cupid shot his arrow and we fell in love. Do you remember a time when you got into a new relationship? What were you expecting? I imagined spending the rest of my life holding her hand listening to music and doing hot yoga. A few weeks later on the 4th of July we got married. On America's Independence Day, I lost my independence. We sailed through our honeymoon but then differences started to emerge: She liked the outdoors, I liked indoors. She loved swimming, I feared drowning. She liked cooking, I liked to tell her how I missed my mama's cooking. Hey, I didn't want to follow her ways and she wasn't willing to change. We argued over big things, over small things, even for nothing. I used logic, I used emotion, I even showed her a role-model, Darling why can't it just be perfect like me? Within six months we grew apart. Under one roof, we were two people living in solitude—no holding hands, no music, only silence. Looking for solutions I asked my friend Jay. He just had his divorce. He was the expert. Jay said, “Man, life is short. Don’t’ suffer, separate.” “No Jay, I just want to fix it.” “Exactly! My lawyer will fix it.” I called my mama. The next day she spoke to both Sindhu and me. She said, “You will never find a partner who is 100 percent perfect. You fall in love because of Cupid's arrow, but what keeps you in love is Cupid's bow. You see the bow and its string have a great partnership: The more the string pulls back, the more the bow bends. Ego is what pulls the string; still the mighty bow bends because it cares for the partner. When she pulls you bend, when you pull she bends. If you pull too hard, your relationship will break. If you want to fix it, both of you need to pull less and bend more. Pull less and bend more.” Have you seen anyone who pulls too hard? Have you pulled too hard? Since then, during arguments I became more flexible. When Sindhu wanted to go out, I joined her. When she wanted to swim, I joined her at the shallow end. When I became nice, she became nicer. Soon she started cooking better than Mama. In my search for the perfect partner I discovered that perfect partners are those who keep perfecting their partnerships by choosing to pull less and bend more. You can see problems in any relationship: within families, between friends, between colleagues, between races, cultures, nations. Today it seems like the world is breaking apart, doesn't it? Still when you look at this room you see people from 142 different nations sitting together, shoulder to shoulder, and getting along fine. How is that possible? Toastmasters, you are proof that no matter what our differences, by choosing to pull less and bend more we can stay together. Last month my wife and I celebrated our 19th anniversary. Yes that's the same wife. Do you think we still argue? Yes but now even when we argue we are still holding hands. My mama is no more with us but her words still rings in our ears: pull less and bend more. Pull less and bend more. Contest Chair. TASK: Furnish your speech LANGUAGE AND VISUAL AIDS Things you need to consider with regards the language we will use: 1. Do not use language that devalues or demeans other people. 2. Be inclusive in your choice of words. 3. Use words that you know your audience will understand. 4. Use words that are appropriate for the occasion. Preparing the visual aids: 1. Prepare your visual aids in advance 2. Keep the visual aids simple 3. Ensure that the visual aids are large enough. 4. Use a font style that is easy to read. 5. Display visual aids only as you are discussing them. 6. Explain the visual aid to the audience. 7. Talk to the audience, not to the visual aid. ORAL FLUENCY IN PUBLIC SPEAKING 1. Use appropriate volume. 2. Vary your pitch. 3. Control the rate of your speech. 4. Use approppriate pauses. ESTABLISHING GOOD STAGE PRESENCE 1. Facial Expressions 2. Gestures 3. Movements 4. Eye Contact BUILDING CONFIDENCE 1. Let your apprehension motivate you. 2. Practice the speech regularly. 3. Think of the importance of your topic. 4. Use relaxation technique. 5. Find a friendly face in the audience. 6. Guve speeches. Identify if the statement is true or false. _________1. You should avoid using demeaning language in your speech. _________ 2. The visual aids should be created right before the presentation. _________ 3. It is important to use difficult words in your speech to impress the audience. _________ 4. Visual aids should feature many different font styles, particularly ones that are decorative. _________ 5. You should avoid using biased words or statements against an individual or a group of people in your speech. Write P if the statement shows proper language and NP if it does not. _________ 1. People who live in squatters’ areas are sure to be involved in illegal drug usage and trade. _________ 2. One common misconception is that most illegal settlers are users and dealers of illegal drugs. _________ 3. Loggers ain’t supposed to be cutting down trees that are too young. _________ 3. These kids are in conflict with the law. If anything, they need help and not punishment. _________ 4. All foreigners should leave our country once and for all. Identify if the statement is TRUE or FALSE. _________ 1. We should use a loud voice every time we deliver a speech. _________ 2. We should vary our pitch depending on the emotion we want to convey. _________ 3. A good strategy is to speed up the delivery rate so that the speech is done immediately. _________ 4. Pausing while delivering a speech is unnecessary since doing so will only bore the audience. _________ 5. We should adjust the volume of our voice depending on the size of the venue. Identify if the statement is true or false. _________ 1. Maintaining eye contact with the audience throughout the speech will offend them. _________ 2. It is important to walk across the stage all the time throughout the speech. _________ 3. A speaker should use gestures depending on what is needed to convey the message effectively. _________ 4. Facial expressions can enhance the message of a speech. _________ 5. Facial expressions should be varied depending on the emotion being conveyed. Identify if the statement is true or false. ________________1. You can do vocalization to relax your speech muscles. ________________2. Overthinking is not good, so practicing the speech once is enough. ________________3. Do not look at the audience to remain calm. ________________4. Memorize every word of your speech. ________________5. Building confidence starts even before the delivery of the speech.
