EN 101
Style Analysis and Kernel Substitutions
One of the best (and most labor-intensive) ways to see the stylistic decisions of a writer is
to reduce an existing passage to kernel sentences: like a kernel of corn—a seed or grain—a
kernel sentence is the core or originating simple sentence from which phrases, clauses, and
various combinations are born. Once reduced, putting the selection back together reveals how—
and hopefully why—each kernel was combined. Below is such an exercise I performed in my
grammar course in school, including my analysis of the author’s decisions (see reverse).
Original (from Dee Brown, Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee):
They were almost to the ford when he saw the charging cavalrymen in their heavy blue
coats and fur caps. Black Kettle slowed his pony and lifted his hand in the sign gesture of peace.
A bullet burned into his stomach, and his pony swerved. Another bullet caught him in the back,
and he slid into the snow at the river’s edge. Several bullets knocked his wife off beside him,
and the pony ran away. The cavalrymen splashed on across the ford, riding right over Black
Kettle and his wife, splattering mud upon their dead bodies.
Kernels:
They were almost to the ford. He saw the cavalrymen. They were charging. They were
wearing heavy blue coats and fur caps. Black Kettle slowed his pony. He lifted his hand. This
was the sign gesture of peace. A bullet burned into his stomach. His pony swerved. Another
bullet caught him in the back. He slid into the snow. The snow was at the river’s edge. Several
bullets knocked his wife off. His wife was beside him. The pony ran away. The cavalrymen
splashed on across the ford. They rode right over Black Kettle. They rode right over his wife.
They splattered mud upon their dead bodies.
Analysis of stylistic effects:
The opening sentence uses a subordinate clause to link the arrival of the riders at the ford
and the charging cavalry. By reducing the two adjectival clauses to an adjective (charging) and a
prepositional phrase (in their . . . caps) to modify the object, cavalrymen, Brown adds weight to
their description, thus making them more imposing, more syntactically impressive.
Then the action slows as Black Kettle slows his horse. When the shooting begins, each
volley of bullets arrives in the first clause of short, compound sentences. The syntax captures
the “first this, then this” feel of a slow-motion scene. We see each bullet hit, and the result
follows in the second clause of each compound: a swerving pony, a sliding into the snow, a
fleeing pony. The compounding serves to break the action, dividing our attention into
fragments of scenes, much like cut shots in an action sequence from a movie.
Finally, with Black Kettle and his wife dead, the continuous action again picks up as the
cavalrymen resume their charge. The final sentence uses two participial phrases in rightbranching1 succession, each giving an action as the cavalrymen ride over the bodies and splatter
mud upon them. In this final sentence, the charging action is picked up by the equally charging
syntax.
As you can see, this kind of exercise is great for revealing what choices an author makes
from the available ways of combining simple sentences. While I do not recommend this exercise
for entire essays (unless you have the time and energy), I do suggest that it can be most helpful
when you have a particularly “stylistic” paragraph or section that somehow resists your analysis:
you know that its style demands attention but cannot yet explain why. Translating back to kernel
sentences is a way to uncover the author’s stylistic decisions.
1
Note: The name for this type of right-branching sentence—main clause first, with modifiers following—is the
loose sentence. The opposite, the periodic sentence, is a left-branching sentence that loads up the modifiers at the
beginning, thus delaying the main subject and verb until the end. Loose sentences tend to be more
conversational/informal, while periodic sentences tend to be more formal or poetic.