Academic Style, Grammar & Vocabulary
Name: GHAZI KASHA AL HALABI
I.
Edit the following paragraph for 14 errors in academic style. (7pts.)
Unfortunately, not many coaches know that proper and professional coaching techniques are grounded in the
idea that every child has a kind of emotional tank. When it gets drained, it’s pretty difficult to take on
challenges or perform well. Coaches need to learn to recognize this and adjust accordingly. Focusing on filling
the emotional tank is not wimpy or soft. Professional coaches have used it to great success. It takes effort to do
well. How could that be done? Coaches need to observe players closely to find out the best way to offer specific
and honest feedback. Nor does it mean a coach can’t have hard conversations with his players. The key is not to
withhold criticism, but to think about delivering it in a way that is helpful. If the child is angry or sulking or
defensive, she is not going to be listening very well anyway. When you ask people to focus on mastery, it’s not
soft, and screaming at a young player is not tough. That is just a lack of impulse control. But because sports is
so valued, it is necessary to change the way people relate to their children through it. Most research indicates
that people coach the way they were coached. So as kids grow up coached with this model and when they
become coaches themselves, the impact on society will be huge.
Rule
Errors
Correction
Avoid contractions
it’s _ can’t
It is _can not
Avoid informal language
Coaches _huge
Avoid multi-word verbs
Grow up_
Use academic vocabulary
Avoid needless wordiness
Avoid questions
How it can be done?
Avoid addressing the reader When you
with “you”
Use appropriate negative
forms for quantities
Use gender-neutral
language.
She_
It can be done when coaches observe…
People must focus on mastery
Complex Noun phrases: Rewrite the underlined parts of the following sentences using a noun phrase with of. Find the
main verb in the underlined part and replace it with a related noun. Make any necessary changes. (Complex noun
phrases: noun + prepositional phrase (of + noun)) (4pts.)
1)
2)
3)
4)
It has been argued that if the new law is approved, this can cause riots and unrest in the country.
The following meeting will address the ways in which social distancing is misconceived by the
majority.
New handouts will be distributed to the needy, and this can help them overcome their misery.
When the emergency protocol was applied, that caused considerable confusion among several
employees.
Rewrite the following sentences using impersonal it-clauses to avoid informality. Use a suitable combination of the
following words to construct your it-clauses: (4pts.)
interesting - essential - important - must - can – should - note - clarify - emphasize - stress - conclude
1.
2.
3.
4.
We have to recognize that the pressure for change exists.
I think that the students’ high level of motivation is interesting.
I want to note here that there are multiple causes for this global pandemic.
We should remember that collective effort is required to stop the spread of Corona virus.
Fill in the blanks with the suitable meta-discourse marker: (12pts.)
Why are there so few women in high status jobs? The most important reason is gender discrimination, (1) _______
means denying a job to someone simply (2) _______ of their gender. This applies to women (3) _____ work as hard
as their male counterparts (4) ______ men get all the benefits. To clarify, women refer to a glass ceiling: the level to
which they (5) ______ rise in an organization but beyond which they may not go. This provides a framework for
understanding limitations to most women’s careers in (6) ______ countries around the world. Unfortunately, men
(7) ______ are blind to the existence of the glass ceiling. (8) _______, several strategies (9) _____ help eliminate the
glass ceiling. First, women should be evaluated based on their competencies. (10) ________, mentoring is also an
important aspect (11) _______ employers are advised to provide constructive feedback about performance and (12)
______ employees stand regarding promotion.
Required meta-discourse marker
1.Relative pronoun (Wh-word)
2. Cause effect marker
8. Contrast Transition
3. Relative pronoun
9. Hedge
4. Contrast marker
10. Transition
5. Hedge
11. Relative pronoun
6. Hedge
12. Relative pronoun
7. Hedge