ГОСУДАРСТВЕННОЕ ОБРАЗОВАТЕЛЬНОЕ УЧРЕЖДЕНИЕ
ВЫСШЕГО ПРОФЕССИОНАЛЬНОГО ОБРАЗОВАНИЯ
«ЛИПЕЦКИЙ ГОСУДАРСТВЕННЫЙ ПЕДАГОГИЧЕСКИЙ
УНИВЕРСИТЕТ»
Л.М. Кузнецова, Ж.Л. Ширяева
PROBLEM PARENTS OR PROBLEM CHILDREN?
Липецк – 2007
УДК-43 (071.1)
ББК 81.432.1 - 923
Л.М.Кузнецова,
CHILDREN?
Печатается по решению
редакционно-издательского
совета ЛГПУ
Ж.Л.Ширяева.
Пособие
для
PROBLEM
студентов
PARENTS
старших
OR
курсов
PROBLEM
факультета
иностранных языков (английское отделение). – Липецк, ЛГПУ, 2007 – 155с.
Рецензент:
зав. каф. КОИО
к.ф.н., доц. В.П. Бойко
©
ГОУ ВПО Липецкий государственный педагогический университет
Липецк – 2007
2
Contents
Preface
Part I. Problem Children
Ready! Steady! No! (test) John Ferrimah.
Cries and Whispers. Peg Tyre.
The Lumber Room (Extract / Part 1). Hector Munro.
Можно ли заставить ребенка слушаться? Бенжамин Спок.
The Lumber Room (Extract / Part 2). Hector Munro.
Очередь за лаской. Лидия Суворова.
The Difficult Child. L.G. Pamuchina, T.G.Shekova.
Между двух огней. Алла Булатова.
The Difficult Child (a list of words).
The Spoiled Child. Alife Kohn.
Разве ж это дети… Катаржина Лангрен.
Obedience (poem). Garrison Keillor.
Former Stamp Collector Jason Cowley on Why Being Cool Leaves him Сold. Judith
Martin.
Children are our Best Teachers.
Future Toy Boy. Sarah Sennott.
Part II. Problem Parents
Should you Smack Children? John Slaiks.
Ten Reasons Not to Hit your Kids. Jan Hunt.
Порка делу не поможет. Диана Колосова.
Hyperactive? Just Go to a Park and Climb a Tree. Jane Barron.
Permissiveness: “A Beautiful Idea” That Didn’t Work? Людмила Памухина. Тамара
Шелкова.
Юный император или чопорный джентльмен? Игорь Рябцев.
We Preach Baby Worship but Practise Baby Farming. James Whirly.
Хороший ли я родитель? (тест)
When Parents are Toxic to Children. Keith Ablow.
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Do Parents Know their Kids? Steve Rouge.
High Anxiety Screws Up Our Hi-Tech Heaven. John Lurks.
A Nation of Wimps. Hara Estroff Marano.
The Waiter was Wired. Jan Mackinnon.
Child Neglect and Abuse. David Merck.
За что убивают детей. Вероника Сивкова.
A New Way of Understanding the Problems of Parents and Kids. Debra Wesselmann.
The Nature of Nurturing. Bill Cleeve.
Supplement.
4
PREFACE
Having and raising a baby is part and parcel of most people’s lives; that’s what
makes the family happy, complete and close-knit. The toddler’s first steps, as well as
the first loss of a milk tooth and the child’s first uttered words can’t but stick in the
parent’s memory. All parents are so sentimental about their children’s firsts! However,
on the darker side there are quite a few hurdles which parenting inevitably entails.
Both children and parents may turn out to be hard to deal with. Read through the book
and decide for yourself whether it is harder to bring up a problem kid or to be brought
up by a problem parent.
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Part I. Problem Children
Ready! Steady! No!
Are you ready to have children? Try these simple tests.
The mess test. Smear peanut butter all over your hands, then rub on the sofa, curtains
and walls. Draw pictures of dinosaurs with crayons on your favourite wallpaper. Place
a fish stick behind your bed and leave it there all summer.
The toy test. Obtain a 55-gallon tub of Lego. (If Lego is not available, you may
substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles). Have a friend spread the contents all over
the house. Put on a blindfold. Walk to the kitchen or bathroom barefoot without
screaming.
The supermarket test. Borrow two goats and take them with you to the supermarket.
Always keep both of them in sight and be prepared to pay for anything they eat or
damage.
The dressing test. Obtain one large unhappy live octopus. Stuff it into a small net
bag, making sure all the arms stay inside.
The feeding test. Half fill a large plastic jug with water and suspend it from the
ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal into
the mouth of the jug while pretending to be an aeroplane. When you’ve finished,
dump the contents of the jug on the floor.
The night test. Fill a small cloth bag with a 4-6 kilos of sand. Soak thoroughly in
water. At 8 pm start to waltz and hum while holding the bag. At 9 pm., lay down the
bag and set your alarm for 10 pm. Get up, pick up the bag and sing every song you
have ever heard. Continue singing (be inventive) until 4am. Lay down bag. Set alarm
for 6 am. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for five years. Look cheerful.
The physical test (women). Obtain a large beanbag chair and attach it to your front
under your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 of the beans. And try
not to notice your closet full of clothes. You won't be wearing them for a while.
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The physical test (men). Go to the nearest chemist. Hand your wallet to the assistant
and ask her to help herself. Go to the nearest supermarket. Ask to see the manager and
arrange to have your pay cheque deposited there directly. Purchase a newspaper. Go
home and read it quietly for the last time.
Final assignment. Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on
how they can improve their discipline, patience, toilet training and child’s table
manners. Give them as much advice as you can for as long as you can. Enjoy this
experience. It is the last time you will have all the answers.
John Ferrimah
/Digest, 14, 2005/
SET WORK
I. What is meant by:
to smear, a fish stick, to put on a blindfold, octopus, to suspend sth. from the ceiling
with a stout cord, soggy, a cloth bag/a net bag, to waltz, a beanbag chair, chemist, to
have one’s pay cheque deposited, assignment, toilet training, to hum.
II. Find in the article the English for:
арахисовое масло; цветной карандаш, мелок, контейнер, кровельный гвоздь;
босиком, вопли, крик; не упускать из виду; втискивать; сетка; раскачать; крупа,
каша; опрокинуть на пол; пропитать что-либо водой; завести будильник на 10
часов; прикрепить; правила поведения за столом.
III. Points for Discussion:
1. Does the headline of the test ring any bells with you? Account for its choice.
2. Are the names of the offered tests suggestive? Explain what it is that makes every
test humorous. What’s the idea behind each of them in plain English?
3. Are you still ready to have children after reading the article?
Cries and Whispers
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Best-selling British nanny Tracy Hogg has advice about bringing up baby. Marry
Poppins would plotz.
On a recent national TV news-magazine show, a red-faced infant was squalling.
As the cameras rolled, the bleary-eyed mother juggled the crying child and a mobile
phone. On the other end of the line, Los Angeles-based nanny-to-the-stars Tracy Hogg
listened to the wails. “Put her over your shoulder,” Hogg cooed into the phone.
Eventually, the child quieted. Later the pert, blond Hogg calmly bathed another
newborn while the mother whipped out her video camera and filmed with the
unwavering intensity of a news chopper hovering over a freeway pileup. “I understand
a baby’s language,” said British-born Hogg, her accent as thick as Yorkshire pudding.
“It’s my gift.”
Hogg says she is to newborns what Robert Redford’s character was to horses in
the three-hankie movie “The Horse Whisperer.” She says she can “read” a fretful baby
and figure out what it needs. Ballantine Books believed in her and paid her a
whopping $750,000 for a two-book deal.
The first, “Secrets of the Baby Whisperer,” has become a best seller, and her 29city author tour aims to make her name as familiar as Dr. Spock. Hogg’s premise is
simple but enticing for REM-deprived parents: you can have a new baby and still get
your beauty sleep. “I think that by taking the proper steps, babies don’t have to be
disruptive,” says Hogg. “You should be able to lead a normal life.”
She counts a host of L.A. power moms among her clients, including Jodie
Foster and Jamie Lee Curtis. Twentieth Century Fox Television president Dana
Walden says Hogg moved in for six weeks after Walden’s daughter was born. “With
Tracy’s help, our daughter now sleeps 11 hours a night. Some people we know who
have babies - smart people who run studios – are still racing into their babies’ rooms
when they wake up in the middle of the night.” But that peaceful slumber doesn’t
come cheap. Hogg charges $500 for a two-hour phone consultation and $1,000 a day
to stay at your house.
You can’t afford to spend what could be a year of college tuition on a baby
nurse? You can buy the book for $22. It’s filled with quickie questionnaires, cute
acronyms and your basic over-the-back-fence wisdom. It advises new moms to put
Baby on a schedule and to figure out if Junior is bawling from hunger or simply
fatigue. But some of her advice is downright kooky. If your child cries when you put
8
him down for a nap in his crib, pick him up, soothe him and put him down again.
Repeat this until he settles – up to 120 times, if necessary.
“All that picking up and putting down, it seems a little wearying for the
parents,” points out Dr. George Cohen, editor of the American Academy of Pediatrics
book “Guide to Your Child’s Sleep.” “It doesn’t sound very practical.”
A registered nurse in England, Hogg left her two daughters, then 8 and 11, with
her mother and moved to L.A. in 1992. Unable to use her nursing license here, she
began taking care of babies. She had, as they say in the movie industry, “great word of
mouth,” and soon Hogg opened her own baby-equipment store in Encino, Calif. Her
book and her Web site claim that she got a master’s degree in hypnotherapy from the
University of California, Irvine. But a university spokeswoman says they have no
record of her. Earlier, according to her book and Web site, Hogg was “assigned” to the
“great Ormond Street Children’s Hospital,” an apparent reference to London’s famed
Cheat Ormond Street Hospital, where she, in fact, attended a three-week-end-long
training course. And a “stint with the World Health Organization in India” turns out to
refer to a two-week trip she took there in 1989.
A Ballantine publicist says the company is standing behind its author. When
pressed, Hogg herself grows vague, then teary, then dismisses questions about her
credentials with a brisk, nannylike “Never mind.” Says Hogg, “I know that I’ve
helped a lot of people along the way. And nothing can take away from that.” For now,
the success of her book has the phones in her store ringing off the hook, and she’s
already working on her next volume, “Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers.”
She knows those babies she’s been “reading” are bound to grow up.
Peg Tyre
/Newsweek, Dec. 26, 2004/
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SET WORK
I. Learn the pronunciation of the words below. Translate them into Russian.
Squall, bleary-eyed, questionnaire, bawl, fatigue, soothe, wearing, hypnotherapy,
teary, assign.
II. Define the meaning of the following lexical units. Say how they were used in
the text.
To juggle, to coo, pert, a news chopper, unwavering, crib, freeway, enticing, sb’s
beauty sleep, a host of, slumber, to put sb. on a schedule, to be assigned to a hospital,
to grow teary, to dismiss questions about sth., credentials.
III. Find in the article the English for:
на другом конце провода; ребенок успокоился; бешеная сумма денег;
раздражительный, капризный ребенок; няня, нянюшка; перекинуть через плечо,
положить на плечо; нагромождение, груда; распознать, узнать; заведовать
студией; бежать как сумасшедший; чьи-то услуги стоят $...; уложить ребенка
спать днем; взять ребенка на руки; учетная запись о ком-либо; двухнедельная
командировка; «надавить» на кого-либо; говорить двусмысленно, темнить;
отрывистый (о тоне, манере говорить), магазин детских товаров.
IV. Say what you know about:
a) Dr. Spock, Robert Redford, Jodie Foster, Jamie Lee Curtis;
b) Ballantine Books, Twentieth Century Fox Television;
c) Encino Irvine, L.A., Ormond Street;
d) WHO, London’s Great Ormond Street Hospital;
e) Mary Poppins.
V. Say what is implied by:
a red-faced infant, the cameras rolled, nanny-to-the stars Tracy Hogg, a three-hankie
movie, a two-book deal, her 29-city author tour, power moms, quickie questionnaires,
cute acronyms, your basic over-the-black-fence wisdom, a university spokesman, a
three-week-end-long training course, a “stint with the World Health Organization in
India” , a nannylike “Never mind” sb’s accent is as thick as Yorkshire pudding
VI. Write out the verbs which the journalist makes use of to describe the way
babies cry. Account for the author’s choice of words and specify their meaning.
VII. State the idea behind the following lines and say whether you agree with it.
10
1. Best-selling British nanny Tracy Hogg has advice about bringing up baby. Mary
Poppins would plotz.
2. Hogg says she is to newborns what Robert Redford’s character was to horses in
the three-hankie movie “The Horse Whisperer”.
3. Hogg’s premise is simple.
4. You can have a new baby and still get your beauty sleep.
5. But some of her advice is downright kooky.
6. She [Tracy Hogg] had, as they say in the movie industry, “great word of
mouth”.
7. A Ballantine publicist says the company is standing behind its author.
8. “I know that I’ve helped a lot of people along the way. And nothing can take
away from that”, says Hogg.
9. For now, the success of her book has the phones in her store ringing off the
hook.
VIII. Points for discussion.
1. Sum up every bit of information you’ve learned about Tracy Hogg. What
impression has she produced on you? What epithets would you use to describe
her? Do you think she is a professional?
2. Are Hogg’s services costly? Are such expenses worth while? Do many people
turn to Hogg for help? Would you like to hire such a baby nurse if you could afford
it?
3. Do you agree with Hogg that by taking the proper steps babies don’t have to be
disruptive?
4. What does the author have in mind when he uses the words “nanny” and
“nurse” in reference to Tracy Hogg?
5. Why are Hogg’s interviews often vague? Does she have anything to hide?
6. What titles does Hogg choose for her books? Are they suggestive?
7. What is the secret of Hogg’s success?
8. What do you make of the rounding sentence of the article?
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THE LUMBER-ROOM
(Extract / Part 1)
The children were to be driven, as a special treat, to the sands at Jagborough.
Nicholas was not to be one of the party, he was in disgrace. Only that morning he had
refused to eat his wholesome bread-and-milk on the seemingly frivolous ground that
there was a frog in it. Older and wiser and better people had told him that there could
not possibly be a frog in his bread-and-milk and that he was not to talk nonsense; he
continued, nevertheless, to talk what seemed the veriest nonsense, and described with
much detail the coloration and markings of the alleged frog. The dramatic part of the
incident was that there really was a frog in Nicholas' basin of bread-and-milk; he had
put it there himself, so he felt entitled to know something about it. The sin of taking a
frog iron garden and putting it into a bowl of wholesome bread-and-milk was enlarged
on at great length, but the fact that stood out clearest in the whole affair, as it
presented itself to the mind of Nicholas was that the older, wiser, and better people
had been proved to be profoundly in error in matters about which they had expressed
the utmost assurance.
"You said there couldn't possibly be a frog in my bread-and-milk; there was a
frog in my bread-and-milk," he repeated, with the insistence of a skilled tactician who
does not intend to shift from favourable ground,
So his boy-cousin and girl-cousin and his quite uninteresting younger brother
were to be taken to Jagborough sands that afternoon and he was to stay at home. His
cousins' aunt, who insisted, by an unwarranted stretch of imagination, in styling
herself his aunt also, had hastily invented the Jagborough expedition in order to
impress on Nicholas the delights that he had justly forfeited by his disgraceful conduct
at breakfast-table. It was her habit, whenever one of the children fell from grace, to
improvise something of a festival nature from which the offender would be rigorously
debarred; if all the children sinned collectively they were suddenly informed of a
circus in a neighbouring town., a circus of unrivalled merit and uncounted elephants, to
which, but for their depravity, they would have been taken that very day.
A few decent tears were looked for on the part of Nicholas when the moment
for the departure of the expedition arrived. As a matter of fact, however, all the
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crying was done by his girl-cousin, who scraped her knee rather painfully against the
step of the carriage as she was scrambling in.
"How did she howl," said Nicholas cheerfully, as the party drove off without any
of the elation of high spirits that should have characterized it.
"She'll soon get over that," said the aunt; "it will be a glorious afternoon for
racing about over those beautiful sands. How they will enjoy themselves!"
"Bobby won't enjoy himself much, and he won't race much either," said
Nicholas with a grim chuckle; "his boots are hurting him. They're too tight."
"Why didn't he tell me they were hurting?" asked the aunt with some asperity.
"He told you twice, but you weren't listening. You often don't listen when we
tell you important things."
"You are not to go into the gooseberry garden," said the aunt, changing the
subject.
"Why not?" demanded Nicholas.
"Because you are in disgrace," said the aunt loftily.
Nicholas did not a d m i t the flawlessness of the reasoning; he felt perfectly
capable of being in disgrace and in a gooseberry garden at the same moment. His face
took on an expression of considerable obstinacy. It was clear to his aunt that he was
determined to get into the gooseberry garden, "only," as she remarked to herself,
"because I have told him he is not to."
Now the gooseberry garden had two doors by which it might be entered, and
once
a
small
person
like
Nicholas
could
slip
in
there
he
could
effectually disappear from view amid the masking growth of artichokes,
raspberry canes, and fruit bushes. The aunt had many other things to do
that afternoon, but she spent an hour or two in trivial gardening operations among
flower beds and shrubberies, whence she could keep a watchful eye on the two doors
that led to the forbidden paradise. She was a woman of few ideas, with immense
power of concentration.
Nicholas made one or two sorties into the front garden, wriggling his way with
obvious stealth of purpose towards one or other of the doors, but never able for a
moment to evade the aunt's watchful eye. As a matter of fact, he had no intention of
trying to get into the gooseberry garden, but it was extremely convenient for him that
his aunt should believe that he had; it was a belief that would keep her on selfimposed sentry-duty for the greater part of the afternoon. Having thoroughly
confirmed and fortified her suspicions, Nicholas slipped back into the house and
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rapidly put into execution a plan of action that had long germinated in his brain. By
standing on a chair in the library one could reach a shelf on which reposed a fat,
important-looking key. The key was as important as it looked; it was the instrument
which kept the mysteries of the lumber-room secure from unauthorized intrusion,
which opened a way only for aunts and such-like privileged persons. Nicholas had not
had much experience of the art of f i t t i ng keys into keyholes and turning locks, but
for some days past he had practiced with the key of the school-room door; he did not
believe in trusting too much to luck and accident. The key turned stiffly in the lock,
but it turned. The door opened, and Nicholas was in an unknown land, compared with
which the gooseberry garden was a stale delight, a mere material pleasure.
Hector Munro
/from the book by V.D. Arakin. “Practical Course of English”/
SET WORK
I. Practise the pronunciation of the words below. Learn and translate them.
basin
rigorously
raspberry
tactician
depravity
germinate
improvise
gooseberry
flawlessness
frivolous
obstinate
whence
coloration
effectually
II. Define the following words and word combinations.
The lumber room, wholesome, to shift from one’s ground, to forfeit, to debar, to
scrape one’s knee, to chuckle, loftily, to fortify one’s suspicions, to germinate, selfimposed, to fit a key into a keyhole, a stale delight, to be in disgrace, to describe (to
explain, to write about) sth. with much detail, at great length, on one’s part (on the
part of one), as a matter of fact, to change the subject, to put a plan into execution,
(for) the greater part of the day (the time, the year, the afternoon, etc.), such-like.
III. Paraphrase the following sentences using the word combinations and phrases:
1. We spent most of the day discussing our plans for the holidays. 2. There will be no
objection proceeding from my mother. 3. He told a lie and is in disfavour. 4. They
failed to perform what had been planned. 5. Henry always looks so conceited; in
reality he is very shy. 6. There isn’t time to explain it thoroughly. 7. We’ve discussed
the problem fully, let’s talk about something else. 8. The speaker dwelt on the subject
fully. 9. A small girl fell down and hurt her knee. 10. Tom was no longer interested in
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computer games. 11. When did this plan appear in your head? 12. The witness soon
changed his testimony.
IV. Translate the following sentences into English using the word combinations
and phrases under study.
1. Как же я могу приступить к выполнению этого плана, если вы мне не
доверяете, 2. Чем вы занимаетесь большую часть времени? 3. Судья попросил
свидетеля описать то, что он видел, как можно подробнее. 4. Докладчик весьма
пространно изложил суть вопроса. 5. Джеймс жаловался, что ему никто ничего
не говорит, но на самом деле он всегда все знал. 6. Я уверен, что с вашей
стороны не будет никаких возражений. 7. Ваша приятельница сейчас больна и
нуждается в вашей помощи. Я со своей стороны, тоже постараюсь сделать все,
что смогу. 8. Не разговаривай с Бобом, он наказан за плохое поведение. 9. Что
вы храните в старом чулане? 10. Странное поведение подозреваемого укрепило
подозрение судьи. 11. Девушка так нервничала, что не могла вставить ключ в
замок. 12. Детям запретили смотреть фильм про любовь. 13. Самобичевание –
его слабое место. 14. Профессор читал курсовую студента и тихонько
посмеивался. 15. Часто людям приходится расплачиваться за их доброту.
V. Make up a list of words which could be applied to the description of the
military operation. Account for their usage.
VI. Explain what is meant by:
1. A special treat; 2. wholesome bread-and-milk; 3. on the seemingly frivolous
ground; 4. He felt entitled to know something about it. 5. The sin of taking the frog
from the garden … was enlarged on a great length. 6. … the delights that he had justly
forfeited by his disgraceful conduct. 7. … to improvise something of a festival nature
from which the offender would be rigorously debarred. 8. a circus of unrivalled merit
and uncountable elephants; 9. A few decent tears were looked for on the part of
Nicholas. 10. Nicholas did not admit the flawlessness of the reasoning. 11. trivial
gardening operations; 12. Nicholas made one or two sorties into the front garden,
wriggling his way with obvious stealth of purpose. 13. a self-imposed sentry-duty; 14.
a plan of action which had long germinated in his brain; 15. It was the instrument
which kept the mysteries of the lumber-room secure from unauthorized intrusion. 16.
An unknown land, compared with which the gooseberry garden was a stale delight, a
mere material pleasure.
VII. Interpret the following sentences.
15
1.
… he repeated with the insistence of a skilled tactician who does not intend to
shift from favourable ground. 2. His cousins’ aunt, who insisted, by an unwarranted
stretch of imagination in styling herself his aunt also … 3. “How did she howl”, said
Nicholas with a grim chuckle. 5. She was a woman of few ideas, with immense
powers of concentration. 6. Having thoroughly confirmed and fortified her suspicions,
Nicholas slipped back into the house. 7. He did not believe in trusting too much to
luck and accident.
VIII. Comprehension questions.
a) Where were the children to be driven as a special treat? 2, Why wasn't Nicholas to
be one of the party? 3. Why was Nicholas in disgrace? 4. How did the frog get into
Nicholas' bread-and-milk? 5. Why was the drive to the sands suggested by Nicholas'
aunt? 6. What was the aunt's method of punishing the children? 7. Why didn't Nicholas
cry when the moment for the departure arrived? 8. Who was all the crying done by and
why? 9. On what ground did Nicholas say his cousin Bob wouldn't enjoy himself much
on the sands? 10. What did the aunt forbid Nicholas to do after the other children had
departed? 11. Why did the aunt spend a long time in the gooseberry garden? 12. Why
did Nicholas make one or two attempts to get into the gooseberry garden? 13. What
was it Nicholas really wanted to do? 14. How did Nicholas get into the lumber-room?
b) Points for discussion.
1. Why do you think Nicholas put a frog into his basin of bread-and-milk? 2. a) Why is
the attribute "wholesome" (repeated twice) used in connection with bread-and-milk?
Who do you think often used it and in what circumstances? b) Why are the attributes
"older and wiser and better" (people), also repeated twice, used by the author? Who do
you think often used them and in what connection? 3. What was the main thing in the
whole affair from Nicholas' point of view? Why did the fact that "the older, wiser and
better people" were in error seem so important to Nicholas? 4. What do you think of the
aunt's method of punishing the children? Do you approve of it? 5. What effect did the
aunt's method of improvising some kind of entertainment from which the offender was
debarred have on the relations of the children? 6. Do you think Nicholas’ joy at his
girl-cousin's tears natural under the circumstances? 7. What caused Nicholas to say
that Bobby, his boy-cousin, wouldn't enjoy himself much on the sands, and why did
he say it with a chuckle? 8. What can you say about the relations between the children
and the aunt? 9. What was wrong with the aunt's way with the children? Was it lack of
understanding and sympathy? 10. Why was it convenient for Nicholas that his aunt should
believe he had an intention of entering the gooseberry garden? 11. What shifts did
16
Nicholas resort to convince his aunt that he was eager to get into the gooseberry
garden? 12. What do you think of Nicholas? Was he cruel and obstinate by nature, or
was it the effect of his aunt’s methods? 13. What kind of woman was the aunt? Find in
the text all instances characterizing the aunt. 14. On whose side are the author’s
sympathies? Substantiate your point of view.
МОЖНО ЛИ ЗАСТАВИТЬ РЕБЕНКА СЛУШАТЬСЯ?
Большинство родителей знают, как себя вести с непослушными детьми.
Каждому из нас в детстве удавалось остаться безнаказанным после плохого
поведения. Почти каждого из нас называли время от времени непослушным
ребенком, каждому из нас вспоминается возникшее чувство непонимания оттого,
что было неясно, кто прав, кто виноват в конфликте с родителями.
Некоторые
родители,
сталкиваясь
с
подобными
ситуациями
во
взаимоотношениях со своими детьми, при этом, волнуясь из-за каких-то других
проблем, как бы перестают быть взрослыми, способными принять правильное
решение. Они в таких случаях начинают «бороться» с детьми на их же уровне как
будто сами превратились в непослушных детей.
Очень советую мамам понаблюдать за поведением ребенка на различных
стадиях своего настроения. Когда у мамы хорошее настроение, то она обнаружит в
основном без усилий, насколько легче ей управляться со своими детьми. Но чаще
всего над этим она не задумывается, так как ее действия разнообразны, даже
хорошо
продуманы
и
осторожны,
но,
возможно,
лишены
интереса
и
целенаправленности. В такие моменты она похожа на человека, который сел
играть на пианино какой-нибудь отрывок, выученный им лет десять назад.
Маме советую усвоить, что каждый здоровый ребенок сам может cделать
очень многое. В большинстве случаев на него можно положиться, если он
чувствует, что ему доверяют, и ответственность за что-то возлагают на него.
Почти всем маленьким детям хочется радовать своих родителей, потому что
именно они и есть те люди, с которыми их связало первое чувство любви. Когда
малышу исполняется год, он уже старается казаться взрослым, во всем им
подражать, пытаться все делать самостоятельно. Особенно это заметно в возрасте
от трех до шести лет.
17
Хотелось бы сказать еще об одном условии, наиболее трудно выполнимом. В
голосе родителей чаще всего быстро появляется раздражение, которое проявляется
в тоне высказывания. А ребенок это чувствует, и у него может появиться такая же
ответная реакция. Поэтому, когда мама просит малыша уже спокойным голосом
что-нибудь сделать или прекратить заниматься тем, что доставляет ему
удовольствие, обычно она встречает резкое сопротивление.
Дети хорошо чувствуют требования и желания старших, поэтому в хорошей
спокойной семейной атмосфере их поведение почти всегда можно контролировать
короткими замечаниями, напоминаниями, но не приказаниями.
Б.Спок
/ из книги «Разговор с матерью»/
SET WORK
I. What is the English for:
непослушные
дети,
остаться
безнаказанным,
управлять
ребенком,
целенаправленность, подражать, встречать резкое сопротивление, спокойная
семейная атмосфера, короткое замечание.
II. Can we raise an obedient child? What idea does the author try to drive
home to the reader?
III. Render the above article into English.
THE LUMBER-ROOM
(Extract / Part II)
Often and often Nicholas had pictured to himself what the lumber-room might
be like, that region that was so carefully sealed from youthful eyes and concerning which
no questions were ever answered. It came up to his expectations. In the first place it was
large and dimly lit, one high window opening on to the forbidden garden being its only
source of illumination. In the second place, it was a storehouse of unimagined treasure.
The aunt-by-assertion was one of those people who think that things spoil by use and
consign them to dust and damp by way of preserving them. Such parts of the house as
Nicholas knew best were rather bare and cheerless, but here there were wonderful things
18
for the eyes to feast on. First and foremost there was a piece of framed tapestry that was
evidently meant to be a fire-screen. To Nicholas it was a living, breathing story; he sat
down on a roll of Indian hangings, glowing in wonderful colours beneath a layer of dust
and took in all the details of the tapestry picture. A man, dressed in the hunting costume
of some remote period, had just transfixed a stag with an arrow; it could not have been a
difficult shot because the stag was only one or two paces away from him; in the thickly
growing vegetation that suggested it would not have been difficult to creep up to a
feeding stag, and the two spotted dogs that were springing forward to join in the chase
had evidently been trained to keep to heel till the arrow was discharged. That part of the
picture was simple, is interesting, but did the huntsman see, what Nicholas saw, that four
galloping wolves were coming in his direction through the wood? There might be more
than four of them hidden behind the trees, and in any case would the man and his dogs
be able to cope with four wolves if they made an attack? The man had only two arrows
left in his quiver, and he might miss with one or both of them; all one knew about his
skill in shooting was that he could hit a large stag at a ridiculously short range. Nicholas
sat for many golden minutes revolving the possibilities of the scene; he was inclined to
think that there were more than four wolves and that the man and his dogs were in a tight
corner.
But there were other objects of delight and interest claiming his instant
attention: there, were quaint twisted candlesticks in the shape of snakes, and a teapot
fashioned like a china duck, out of whose open beak the tea was supposed to come.
How dull and shapeless the nursery teapot seemed in comparison! Less promising in
appearance was a large square book with plain black covers; Nicholas peeped into it,
and, behold, it was full of coloured pictures of birds. And such birds! A whole
portrait gallery of undreamed-of creatures. And as he was admiring the colouring of
the mandarin duck and assigning a life-history to it, the voice of his aunt came
f r o m the gooseberry garden without. She had grown suspicious at his long
disappearance, and had leapt to the conclusion that he had climbed over the wall
behind the sheltering screen of lilac bushes; she was now engaged in energetic and
rather hopeless search for him among the artichokes and raspberry caries.
"Nicholas, Nicholas!" she screamed, "you are to come out of this at once. It's no
use trying to hide there; I can see you all the time."
It was probably the first time for twenty years that any one had smiled in that
lumber-room.
19
Presently the angry repetitions of Nicholas' name gave way to a shriek, and a cry
for somebody to come quickly. Nicholas shut the book, restored it carefully to its place
in a corner, and shook some dust from a neighbouring pile of newspapers over it. Then
he crept from the room, locked the door, and replaced the key exactly where he had
found it. His aunt was still calling his name when he sauntered into the front garden.
"Who's calling?" he asked.
"Me," came the answer from the other side of the. wall; "didn't you hear me?
I've been looking for you in the gooseberry garden, and I've slipped into the rain-water
tank. Luckily there's no water in it, but the sides are slippery and I can't get out. Fetch
the little ladder from under the cherry tree —"
"I was told I wasn't to go into the gooseberry garden," said Nicholas
promptly.
"I told you not to, and now I tell you that you may," came the voice from the
rain-water tank, rather impatiently.
"Your voice doesn't sound like aunt's," objected Nicholas; "you may be the
Evil One tempting me to be disobedient. Aunt often tells me that the Evil One tempts
me and that I always yield. This time I'm not going to yield."
"Don't talk nonsense," said the prisoner in the tank; "go and fetch the ladder."
"Will there be strawberry ja m for tea?" asked Nicholas innocently.
"Certainly there will be," said the aunt, privately resolving that Nicholas should
have none of it.
"Now I know that you are the Evil One and not aunt," shouted Nicholas
gleefully; "when we asked aunt for strawberry jam yesterday she said there wasn't any.
I know there are four jars of it in the store cupboard, because I looked, and of course
you know it's there, but she doesn't, because she said there wasn't any. Oh, Devil, you
have sold yourself!" There was an unusual sense of luxury in being able to talk to an
aunt as though one was talking to the Evil One, but Nicholas knew, with childish
discernment, that such luxuries were not to be over-indulged in. He walked noisily
away, and it was a kitchen maid, in search of parsley, who eventually rescued the aunt
from the rain-water tank.
Tea that evening was partaken of in a fearsome silence. The tide
had been at its highest when the children had arrived at Jagborough
Cove, so there had been no sands to play on a circumstance that the
aunt had overlooked in the haste of organizing her punitive expedition.
The tightness of Bobby's boots had had disastrous effect on his temper
20
the whole of the afternoon, and altogether the children could not have
been said to have enjoyed themselves. The aunt maintained the frozen
muteness of one who has suffered undignified and unmerited detention
in a rain-water tank for thirty-five minutes. As for Nicholas, he, too,
was silent, in the absorption of one who has much to think about; it
was just possible, he considered, that the huntsman would escape with
his hounds while the wolves feasted on the stricken stag.
Hector Munro
/from the book by V.D. Arakin “Practical Course of English”/
SET WORK
I. Practise the pronunciation of the words below.
vegetation
saunter
feast
arrow
comparison
partake
tapestry
lilac
transfix
raspberry
assign
II. Define the words and word combinations below. Say how they were used in
the text.
To be sealed from sb.; to open on (to) sth; in comparison with; to come up to smb’s
expectations; in the first place…/in the second place; to feast on sth.; tapestry; to
transfix a stag; simple if interesting; to be trained to keep to heel; to revolve the
possibilities of sth.; to be in a tight corner; to go (come, look) in one’s direction;
candlesticks, undreamed of; to assign a life story to sth., in search for smb./of smth; to
saunter, to yield; to over-indulge in sth.; to partake of sth.; have disastrous effect on
smb., no man (woman, child, etc.); to be one pace (mile) away from sb./sth.; to be
supposed to do sth.
III. Find in the text the English for:
кусты малины; уступить, дать место (другому чувству); скользкий; овраг с
водой; искушать, соблазнять; стеклянная банка; петрушка; упустить из виду,
просмотреть; карательный; молчать как статуя; охотник; сирень; представлять
21
мысленно; колчан; стрела; выпустить стрелу; мгновенно привлечь чье-либо
внимание; справиться с чем-либо; в спешке; быть склонным что-либо делать.
IV. Make up a list of berries/bushes mentioned in the extract. What other
berries/bushes can you name?
V. Paraphrase the following sentences so as to use the word combinations and
phrases under study.
1. The woman traveled all over the country in order to find the child she had
lost during the war. 2. Try to imagine the beauty of the ocean on a bright sunny day. 3.
He has a tendency towards laziness. 4. The result of the experiment was as good as we
had hoped for it to be. 5. You are assumed to know these words. 6. It is taken for
granted that they know the rules of conduct in school. 7. The two rooms have an
opening into the garden. 8. I ransacked the drawer in order to find the missing letter. 9.
There are several urgent matters that need my attention. 10. The wood is at a very
short distance from the cottage. 11. The story was absorbing though short. 12. They
are in a dangerous situation at present. 13. I see someone coming towards us. 14. To
begin with your story lacks confirmation; secondly I very much doubt it could have
happened at all. 15. I’m afraid I won’t be able to struggle successfully with all these
difficulties. 16. Not a single question was asked about it. 17. The ballet was as good as
I had expected it to be.
VI. Compose short dialogues for the following word combinations:
to picture smth. to oneself; to come up to one’s expectations; in the first (second)
place; to be one pace away from; to go (come, look) in smb.’s direction; to cope with
smth. or smb.; to be inclined to; to be in a tight corner; to be supposed to; in search of
(for) ; in the haste of.
VII. Translate the following sentences into English using the word combinations
and phrases under study.
1. Джейн часто пыталась представить себе этого человека, которого знала по его
письмам. Он представлялся ей молодым, сильным, красивым. Никакие слова не могут
передать (описать) ее разочарование, когда она его увидела, Он не оправдал ее
ожиданий. Во-первых, он был стар, во-вторых, суетлив и раздражителен. 2. Я могу
подробно описать все, что случилось. Я в это время стояла в двух шагах от того
места, где произошел несчастный случай. 3. Окна моей комнаты выходят во двор.
4. Кто эта девушка, которая смотрит в нашу сторону? 5. Боюсь, что не смогу
справиться с таким количеством работы, вам придется мне помочь. 6. В этой
22
статье нет ничего, что заслуживало бы вашего внимания. 7. Я сейчас никак не могу
заняться этим вопросом, есть много других срочных дел, требующих моего
внимания. 8. Что нам сейчас полагается делать? (Полагается ли) нам ждать или мы
можем уходить? 9. Никаких вопросов, пожалуйста. Всем студентам положено
знать эти грамматические правила. 10. Этот дом кажется совсем крошечным по
сравнению с новым. 11. Я все перерыла в поисках билета в театр. Куда же я его
могла положить? 12. Они посетили много школ в поисках мальчика, подходящего
для
роли
Оливера.
13.
В
спешке
никто не заметил, что старый Фирс остался в доме. 14. Я склонна думать, что он
находится в тяжелом положении и не сможет справиться со всеми трудностями без
нашей помощи. 15. Вопрос был интересным, хотя и трудным. 16. Джек не трус, он
никогда не станет уклоняться от ответственности. 17. Преследуя оленя, охотник
случайно упал в овраг с водой. 18. После того как Нелли написала письмо, она
запечатала конверт от посторонних глаз. 19. Собаку легко приучить находиться у
ноги своего хозяина во время прогулки. 20. Стрела выпала из колчана и мгновенно
привлекла внимание сторожевого пса. 21. Молоко с селедкой оказало
катастрофическое воздействие на желудок Сэма. 22. Ежик скрылся в колючих
кустах малины, и дети обдумывали всевозможные способы того, как его оттуда
достать. 23. Ребенок провинился, а потому молчал как статуя, когда его спросили,
кто же все-таки разбил банку со сливовым вареньем. 24. У Марка богатое
воображение; видя незнакомых людей, он мысленно предписывает им различные
истории. 25. Если злоупотреблять конфетами, они? Рано или поздно, произведут
губительное воздействие на ваши зубы.
VIII. Interpret the line below:
1. the aunt-by-assertion 2. Nicholas sat for many golden minutes revolving the
possibilities of the scene. 3. How dull and shapeless the nursery teapot seemed in
comparison! 4.
And as he was admiring the colouring of the mandarin duck and
assigning a life-history to it .... 5. Nicholas ... shook some dust from a neighbouring pile
of newspapers over it (the book). 6. Aunt often tells me that the Evil One tempts me and
that I always yield. 7. Nicholas knew, with childish discernment that such luxuries were
not to be over-indulged in. 8. ... a circumstance that the aunt had overlooked in the haste
of organizing her punitive expedition. 9. The tightness of Bobby's boots had had a
disastrous effect on his temper the whole of the afternoon.
IX. Explain what is meant by:
23
VI
1. ... that region that was so carefully sealed from youthful eyes 2. It (the lumberroom) came up to his expectations. 3. the forbidden garden 4. a storehouse of
unimagined treasure 5. ... the man and his dogs were in a tight corner 6. a whole
portrait gallery of undreamed-of creatures 7. the Evil One 8. Oh, Devil, you have sold
yourself! 9. Tea ... was partaken of in a fearsome silence. 10. a punitive expedition 11.
... one who has suffered undignified and unmerited detention in a rain-water tank.
Х. Express your opinion of what is said below and try to substantiate it.
1. I wonder why Nicholas was in such a delight about the books he found in the
lumber-room, I'm sure he had seen picture-books a number of times. 2. I wonder why
Nicholas hated his aunt so much, after all she did what she thought right and proper. 3.
I fail to see any good traits in disposition, do you? 4. I doubt anyone could have
managed Nicholas, he was so full of ill feeling and deceit. 5. If my child had put a frog
into his milk, I would have never punished it. 6. I would be happy to have such an
aunt as Nicolas’s.
XI. Give detailed answers to the following questions. Motivate your opinion:
1. Why do you think the lumber-room was so carefully guarded from the children? 2.
What do you think of the aunt's method of preserving things? 3. Why was Nicholas so
absorbed in everything he saw in the garden when his aunt called him? 4. Why didn't
Nicholas want to go into the gooseberry garden when his aunt called him? 5. Don't
you think Nicholas never believed it wasn't really his aunt who was talking to him?
Why did he insist on it then? Would you say it was a kind of revenge? What for? 6.
What was the aim of Nicholas' question about strawberry jam for tea? Wasn’t it
cunning of him to ask it? How does it characterize him? Do you think he was sure of
his aunt's answer? 7. What kind of boy would you say Nicholas was? Was he quite
ordinary? Spoiled? Nasty? Deceitful? In what way do you think his aunt's methods of
upbringing are responsible for his conduct? 8. What kind of woman was the aunt? 9.
Have you enjoyed the story? What was it you enjoyed?
XII. Points for discussion.
1. What was the lumber-room like and why did it come up to Nicolas’ expectations? 2.
Why
did
the
aunt
keep
what
Nicholas
thought
to be most wonderful things in the lumber-room? 3. What was the first
thing
to
represent?
seize
5.
Nicholas'
What
other
imagination?
objects
4.
What
claimed
did the aunt call Nicholas the first time?
did
Nicholas'
the
tapestry
attention?
picture
6.
Why
7. Why did Nicholas smile
24
when he heard his aunt's command for him to come out of the gooseberry garden at once? 8. Why did Nicholas decide to leave the lumberroom? 9. How did he conceal the traces of his visit to the lumber-room?
10. Why did the aunt cry for Nicholas to come quickly? 11. Why couldn't
the aunt get out of the rain-water tank? 12. What did the aunt tell Nias to do? 13. Why did Nicholas refuse to enter the gooseberry garden?
14. What shift did Nicholas use to prove that it was not really his aunt
who was telling him to come into the gooseberry garden? 15. Who rescued the aunt from the rain-water tank? 16. Why was tea that evening
partaken of in a fearsome silence?
Разговор с родителями
ОЧЕРЕДЬ ЗА ЛАСКОЙ
«Я в семье - самая младшая. У меня три старшие сестры, и у всех, как и у
меня, - дети. Но, как мне кажется, сестрички мои слишком залюбили, заласкали,
забаловали своих детей (у нас у всех - мальчики), и они растут изнеженными,
разболтанными, не готовыми к трудностям. Но ведь жизнь не будет их баловать,
а мамочка не всегда будет рядом. Учтя ошибки сестер, я стараюсь держать
своего сына в строгости, без баловства, без потакания капризам, без
поцелуйчиков - ведь он должен вырасти настоящим мужчиной, и я, мать,
обязана ему в этом помочь. Но признаюсь, иногда меня нет-нет да и «клюнет» в
сердце червячок сомнения: ведь он еще маленький, и, может быть, ему не
хватает моей ласки? Но я стараюсь не поддаваться этим настроениям, не
размягчаться - в его же интересах. Права ли я, что воспитываю его «без
сантиментов»?
Вероника ПОКРОВСКАЯ.
Москва
На вопрос строгой мамы мы попросили ответить педагога с большим
стажем; автора многих книг о воспитании детей Ларису Никифоровну Захарову.
- Я вам отвечу, Вероника; но сначала - немного о себе. Сколько детей
прошло через мои руки - избалованных, и тех, кого дома даже лаской не балует;
и просто запутанных, озлобленных... Но более всего оставили во мне след и
открыли мне глаза на многое дети-сироты - воспитанники детского дома, в
котором мне довелось проработать несколько лет. До сих пор щемит сердце,
25
когда вспоминаю этих маленьких человечков, лишенных самого главного материнского тепла, ласки. Одну мамашу, живую и здоровую, отказавшуюся от
своего ребенка; мы долго уговаривали, чтобы она хоть взглянула на своего
сына, который так без нее тосковал. И вот, наконец, она снизошла - впервые за
четыре года. И представьте себе - явилась с пустыми руками. Это к маленькомуто ребенку да еще к собственному, обделенному во всем! Воспитательница его,
к которой она заявилась, просто ахнула. Дала ей денег - пойдите, говорит, в
ближайший магазин и купите хоть карамелек для вашего мальчика. Ну принесла
она немного конфет, Вадик - а он непослушный был мальчик, забияка и драчун,
- чуть не задохнулся от счастья и гордости (ведь мама принесла!), побежал и
мигом раздал все конфеты ребятам, оставив, себе только одну - ту, что во рту. А
когда вернулся и увидел свою маму, вытащил обсосанную уже карамельку и
протянул ей... Не знаю, получала ли она в своей жизни такой дорогой
подарок......
А видели бы вы, как они, эти обиженные судьбой ребятишки,
выстраивались в очередь, увидя, как кто-то из нас, взрослых, погладил кого-то
из них по головке: «И меня погладьте... И меня...». Вас бы сюда, Вероника
(извините, не знаю, как вас по отчеству), чтобы посмотрели на эту печальную;
как похоронная процессия, детскую очередь - за лаской. А вы своему кровному
ребёнку побуждений) в том, что ему нужно, как воздух. Баловство - иное дело, я
тоже против бездумного баловства, но ведь вы и в «поцелуйчиках»-то своему
ребенку отказываете! Хотите, чтобы он вырос настоящим мужчиной, а
дождетесь, что он вырастет черствым, этаким сухарем, скупым на ласку, на
доброту и; заботу о вас же в старости, не говоря уж о других людях, которые
будут рядом с ним. Уж вы простите за прямоту и резкость, но не могу я
одобрить выбранную вами позицию, потому что по опыту знаю: ребенку, как
солнце цветку, нужна материнская ласка. Не сюсюкание, не потакание всякому
«хочу», любому капризу, а разумная - не, слепая, а зрячая материнская любовь и
ласка. Неправильно подсказывает вам «червячок» сомнения - это в вас говорит,
сердце. Прислушайтесь к его голосу.
Вовсе не обязательно следовать, примеру ваших старших сестер - найдите,
свою систему воспитания, свой подход, свою золотую середину. И вы увидите
своего ребенка счастливым, и сами, - поверьте, будете от этого, счастливы.
Лидия Суворова
/ «Учительская газета», №16, 2000/
26
SET WORK
I. Think of the best English equivalents for:
изнеженный, разболтанный; держать в строгости, потакать капризам, не
поддаваться настроению, с большим стажем, озлобленный ребенок, открыть
кому-то глаза, щемит сердце, с пустыми руками, обделенный ребенок,
карамелька, забияка, обиженный судьбой, из лучших побуждений, черствый
человек, прямота.
II. Render the given article into English.
III. What do you make of the headline of the article?
IV. Do you share the teacher’s opinion that a child that is deprived of parental
love may grow into a callous person?
The DIFFICULT CHILD
The difficult child is the child who is unhappy. He is at war with himself, and in
consequence, he is at war with the world. A difficult child is nearly always made
difficult by wrong treatment at home.
The moulded, conditioned, disciplined, repressed child - the unfree child, whose
name is a Legion, lives in every corner of the world. He lives in our town just across the
street, he sits at a dull desk in a dull school, and later he sits at a duller desk in an office
or on a factory bench. He is docile, prone to obey authority, fearful of criticism, and
almost fanatical in his desire to be conventional and correct. He accepts what he has
been taught almost without question; and he hands down all his complexes and fears and
frustrations to his children.
Adults take it for granted that a child should be taught to behave in such a way
that the adults will have as quiet a life as possible. Hence the importance attached to
obedience, to manner, to docility.
The usual argument against freedom for children is this: life is hard, and we
must train the children so that they will fit "into life later on. We must therefore
discipline them. If we allow them to do what they like, how will they ever be able to
serve under a boss? How will they ever be able to exercise self-discipline?
27
To impose anything by authority is wrong. Obedience must come from within –
not be imposed from without.
The problem child is the child who is pressured into obedience and persuaded
through fear.
Fear can be a terrible thing in a child's life. Fear must be entirely eliminated fear of adults, fear of punishment, fear of disapproval. Only hate can flourish in the
atmosphere of fear.
The happiest homes are those in which the parents are frankly honest with their
children without moralizing. Fear does not enter these homes. Father and son are
pals. Love can thrive. In other homes love is crushed by fear. Pretentious dignity and
demanded respect hold love aloof. Compelled respect always implies fear.
The happiness and well-being of children depend on a degree of love, and
approval we give them. We must be on the child's side. Being on the side of the child
is giving love to the child - not possessive love - not sentimental love - just behaving
to the child in such a way the child feels you love him and approve of him.
Home plays many parts in the life of the growing child, it is the natural source of
affection, the place where he can live with the sense of security; it educates him in all
sorts of ways, provides him with his opportunities of recreation, it affects his status
in society.
Children need affection. Of all the functions of the family that of providing an
affectionate background for childhood and adolescence has never been more
important than it is today.
Child study has enabled us to see how necessary affection is in ensuring proper
emotional development; and the stresses and strains of growing up in modern urban
society the effect of intensifying the yearning for parental regard.
The childhood spent with heartless, indifferent or quarrelsome parents or in a
broken home makes a child permanently embittered. Nothing can compensate for lack of
parental affection. When the home is a loveless one, the children are impersonal and
even hostile.
Approaching adolescence children become more independent of their parents. They
are now more concerned with what other kids say or do. They go on loving their parents
deeply underneath, but they don't show it on the surface. They no longer want to be
loved as a possession or as an appealing child. They are gaining a sense of dignity as
individuals, and they like to be treated as such. They develop a stronger sense of
responsibility about matters that they think are important.
28
From their need to be less dependent on their parents, they turn more to trusted
adults outside the family for ideas and knowledge.
In adolescence aggressive feelings become much stronger. In this period, children
will play an earnest game of war. There may be arguments, roughhousing and even
real fights. Is gun-play good or bad for children?
For many years educators emphasized its harmlessness, even when thoughtful
parents expressed doubt about letting their children have pistols and other warlike
toys. It was assumed that in the course of growing up children have a natural tendency
to bring their aggressiveness more and more under control.
But nowadays educators and physicians would give parents more encouragement
in their inclination to guide children away from violence of any kind, from violence of
gun-play and from violence on screen.
The world famous Dr Benjamin Spock has this to say in the new edition of his
book for parents about child care:
"Much evidence made me think that Americans have often been tolerant of
harshness, lawlessness and violence, as well as of brutality on screen. Some children
can only partly distinguish between dramas and reality. I believe that parents should
flatly forbid programs that go in for violence. I also believe that parents should firmly
stop children's war-play or any other kind of play that degenerates into deliberate
cruelty or meanness. One can't be permissive about such things. To me it seems very
clear that we should bring up the next generation with a greater respect for and for
other people’s rights.
L.G. Pamuchina,
T.G.Shekova
/from the book «A Way to Debating»/
SET WORK
I. Define the words and word combinations below. Say how they were used in the
article.
Parental regard, in consequence, to hand sth. down to sb., roughhousing, to degenerate
into smth, to thrive, to moralize, to keep aloof, timidity, erratic, to pattern oneself on
sb., to outgrow (bad habits; childish interests), to be prone to accidents, to take a
stand.
II. State the difference between:
29
to want - to yearn;
Irritant - irritable;
Heritage – inheritance.
III. Translate into English using the words under study.
1. Непослушным детям будет трудно впоследствии подчиняться их боссу.
2. Это ребенок из неполной семьи. Он все время держится в стороне от
других.
3. По мере приближения к юности, подростки становятся все более
послушными.
4. У него большое желание учиться, но вечные неурядицы дома подрывают
его настрой и делают пугливым.
5. Порой
неуправляемые,
своенравные,
воинственно
настроенные
раздражительные дети сильно раздражают и действуют на нервы все
дозволяющим родителям. Они сами в этом виноваты.
6. Когда же ты выйдешь из этого сумасбродного возраста.
7. Если ты будешь продолжать запугивать своего ребенка и дальше, будучи
взрослым, он обязательно тебе отомстит.
8. С моим безответственным, дерзким и все время нарушающим сыном
вечно что-нибудь случается.
9. Детей надо учить быть дисциплинированными с раннего возраста.
10. Родителям не следует увлекаться чтением нотаций ребенку, иначе
ребенок может просто озлобиться.
11. Интересно, передаются ли по наследству только определенные черты?
12. Некоторые дети плаксивы в детстве, но, к счастью, многие из них
перерастают это состояние по мере взросления.
13. Детеныш рыси, оставшийся без родителей, все время держится в стороне
от других зверей в заповеднике.
14. Дети, обделенные вниманием, жаждут родительского участия.
15. Скандалы дома плохо сказываются на психике ребенка.
16. Женщины не любят нерешительных мужчин.
17. Раздражающее
поведение
некоторых
сумасбродных
детей
делает
взрослых крайне раздражительными.
IV. Points for discussion.
a) 1. What makes a child unhappy? 2. Why do you think, a child who, according
to the text “sits at a dull desk at school “will later sit “at a duller desk in his
30
office”? What is implied here? 3. Why do many adults attach such importance
to obedience? Is it really in the child’s interests? 4. What are the usual
arguments put forward against giving more freedom to the child? Are the
arguments well-founded? 5. Why is it wrong to pressure a child experience? 7.
What kind of atmosphere is necessary for child’s proper emotional
development? 8. What new traits and habits emerge in adolescence? 9. How and
why did Dr. Spock’s attitude change regarding the adolescents’ games of war?
10. Why is it so dangerous for children to be exposed to violence? 11. How
should the new generation be brought up?
b) Use the topical vocabulary in answering the following questions.
1. What traits of character would you name as typical for a normal happy child?
Consider the following points with regard to his attitudes to: a) his family, parents; b)
the school, teachers, studies, rules and regulations; c) his classmates; d) his friends. 2.
What traits of character would you consider prominent in a difficult child, a problem
child? Consider the points given above. 3. What traits of character are brought about by
excessively harsh discipline and pressure? 4. What traits of character would be brought
about by lack of discipline and control, by pampering or permissiveness? 5. How would
you describe a good parent? 6. What traits of a parent would you consider most
favourable for a child? 7. What are the dangerous symptoms of a problem child? 8.
What kind of parents’ attitude may make a child irresponsive, and unable to cope with
difficulties? 9. Under what circumstances would a child grow confident, self-possessed,
able to cope with difficulties? 10. What duties do parent have that children don’t?
МЕЖДУ ДВУХ ОГНЕЙ
Все родители умеют быть щедрыми, балуя ребенка, но немногие могут
быть справедливыми, наказывая его … . На вопрос, как правильно наказывать
ребенка, соблюдая правило «золотой середины», то есть не разболтать, но и не
подчинить себе, отвечает детский психолог Алла Булатова.
Запутанная область
31
До сих пор специалисты признают, что в детской психологии нет области
более запутанной, чем дисциплина, и нет вопроса более спорного, чем вопрос о
наказаниях. Большинство родителей, скорее, не вследствие анализа научных
статей или консультаций психологов обычно интуитивно склоняются к одной из
двух точек зрения.
Первая: наказывать вообще не следует, это вредит творческому развитию
ребенка, лишает его поведение естественности, и т.д. Вторая позиция, напротив,
призывает к строгости и точному соблюдению требований взрослых.
В чем же состоит смысл наказания? Самое главное – это показать ребенку
опасности, физические и социальные, к которым ему нужно быть готовым. К
сожалению, ребенка приходится наказывать, когда он игнорирует запреты или
требования взрослых. Наказание – словно сигнал «Так нельзя!», который должен
способствовать навыкам самосохранения и общения ребенка.
Последние
рекомендации
психологов
сводятся
к
максимальному
сокращению наказаний, мудрые родители должны стремиться похвалой и
поощрением предупреждать проступки детей, а через крайнюю меру – наказание
– стремиться воспитывать в них чувство ответственности за порученное дело,
правдивость, доверие к старшим и самостоятельность.
Все по правилам
Не стоит кому-либо из членов семьи становиться «экзекутором», брать на
себя роль наказывающего. Это может привести к конфликтам. Наказывать должен
тот, кто явился свидетелем проступка, а приглашать, например, дедушку, маму
или папу для этого – психологически безграмотно.
Наказывать стоит только за то, что ребенок намеренно совершил сам. Если
он по неловкости уронил чашку, не наказывайте, а вот если бросил чашку на пол,
капризничая и заставляя родителей выполнить какое-то его желание, то
насторожитесь – это проступок.
Наказание не может быть отсроченным и должно следовать сразу же за
проступком в интервале не более 15 минут. Если вы обнаружили «грешок»
ребенка спустя значительное время, нужно лишь сказать, что вы думаете по
поводу совершенного.
Взрослые поступают неправильно, когда плохие поступки осуждают от
случая к случаю. Попадая «под горячую руку», ребенок теряет веру в
справедливость, а родители – свой авторитет.
32
Наказывая ребенка за проступок, учитывайте его возраст. К примеру,
двухгодовалового малыша ваши наказания не проймут. Только после трех лет
ребенок приобретает способность чувствовать себя автором собственных
действий, различать, что он сделал сам, а что получилось нечаянно. С этого же
возраста дети начинают чаще провоцировать взрослых, испытывать их терпение,
пытаясь определить, что можно, а что нельзя.
Наиболее
соответствующее
порицание
дошкольнику
–
легкий
родительский шлепок по мягкому месту. В этом возрасте дети ближе всего к
природе, и любые связи легче всего прокладываются через эмоциональный,
телесный контакт. Получая наказание, ребенок обязательно должен понимать, за
что оно последовало.
Школьнику не забудьте представить весьма убедительную мотивировку
своего наказания, запрета, требования. Словесное осуждение – это тоже форма
наказания. При этом следует оценивать только действие, а не личность ребенка.
Нельзя говорить: «Ну что за растяпа», «Да ты настоящий врунишка», а также
предвосхищать проступки («Что тебе говорить, все равно сделаешь по-своему»)
или возвращаться к тому, что уже отошло в прошлое («Опять повторяется старая
история ...»).
Совершенно недопустимая форма наказания ребенка – отказ от общения,
молчанка. Это самая болезненная и бесполезная форма разрешения конфликта (и
у взрослых, кстати, тоже). В любом случае важно не нарушить взаимопонимание
между взрослым и ребенком.
Имейте в виду, что наказание должно служить тому, чтобы ребенок
познал мир во всей его сложности. Будьте естественны. Не копите недовольство
поведением отпрыска, не заставляйте выводить вас из терпения. Ведь его
бессознательным побуждением часто является именно желание проверить вас,
определить меру возможного и допустимого. Искусственно сдерживая себя, вы
оказываете ребенку медвежью услугу, потому что даете понять, что иногда так
вести себя можно, а иногда – нет. Следите в общении за тем, чтобы ребенок
понял, что происходит.
Избегайте ситуаций, когда день ребенка начинается и (или) заканчивается
наказанием: как бы он ни вел себя в течение дня, отойти ко сну он должен
прощенным. Найдите способ дать ему почувствовать, что он по-прежнему любим
и дорог для вас.
Алла Булатова
33
/ «АиФ», № 20, 2002/
SET WORK
I.
Look through the article to find the Russian for:
to pamper, to spoil, knotty, controversial, encouragement, to instill sth. in sb.,
purposefully, to monkey around, mischief, to turn on sb., a delayed punishment, to leave
sb. unimpressed, to test one’s patience, reprimand, to be all thumbs, sth. is absolutely
inadmissible, keep sth. intact, to bottle up negative emotions, to do sb. a bad turn, to
assume the role of sb., to witness sth.
II.
Give the English for:
между двух огней, игнорировать запреты, самосохранение, предупреждать
проступки детей, капризничать, выполнить чье-либо желание, дошкольник,
насторжиться, нечаянно, отпрыск, бессознательное побуждение, дать кому-то
почувствовать, что он любим и дорог, шлепок по мягкому месту.
III.
Render the article into English.
IV.
Points for discussion
1. What do you make of the headline of the article?
2. Why is children’s psychology the most intricate science?
3. What is the point of punishing the child?
4. Is it possible to pre-empt behavioural problems with children?
5. What typical mistakes are made by parents when punishing children?
6. Should we take into account the child’s age before punishing it?
7. Why is it wrong to begin or end the day by punishing a child?
DIFFICULT CHILDREN
(TOPICAL VOCABULARY)
1. A happy child is:
a) Kind-hearted, good-natured, loving, friendly, affectionate; confident, balanced,
secure; getting along (comfortably) with others; gregarious: sociable, communicative;
outgoing; unselfish; hard-working, industrious; self-disciplined, self-possessed;
34
b) Alert, motivated; conscientious, active, persevering; enthusiastic; polite, courteous;
considerate, thoughtful; helpfully able to cope with difficulties, problems.
2. An unhappy problem child is:
a) obedient, prone to obey, submissive; disciplined, repressed; depressed, distressed;
mixed-up, confused, frustrated; disturbed; neglected; self-centered; unsociable, lonely;
timid, shy, fearful, sulky; indifferent, impersonal, listless; irresponsive, insensitive;hurt;
humiliated; stubborn; uninterested, unmotivated, dull, inactive, bored; unable to cope
with difficulties, problems.
b) irritable, annoyed, anxious; restless, naughty, willful; inconsistent, impulsive;
undisciplined, unruly, misbehaving, disobedient; resentful, arrogant, insolent, impudent;
inconsiderate, intolerant, disrespectful; unrestrained; destructive, belligerent; rude,
rough, coarse, offensive; wrong-doing, delinquent, unable to cope with difficulties,
problems.
3. A happy parent is:
loving, caring, affectionate; kind, kind-hearted, good-natured, friendly, approving,
reassuring; responsive, thoughtful, considerate, understanding; sensitive, sympathetic;
sensible, reasonable; self-restrained; patient, tolerant; open, outgoing; firm, consistent;
just.
4. An unhappy difficult parent is:
a) impulsive; indulging, pampering, babying; unreasonable; selfish, self-indulging,
self-interested; self-willed, wilful; inconsistent; partial; sentimental; permissive;
b) loveless, indifferent, impersonal; insensitive, disapproving; unjust, unfair;
impatient, intolerant; insensible, unreasonable, unwise; inconsistent; nagging, fussy;
cold, hard, harsh, cruel; bullying, aggressive, destructive, violent; repressing,
demanding, restraining; moralizing; uncompromising, tough.
SET WORK
I. Practise the pronunciation of the words below.
Gregarious, outgoing, alert, conscientious, persevering, courteous, obedient, submissive,
mixed-up, sulky, impersonal, listless, irresponsive, irritable, wilful, irritant, unrestrained,
belligerent, inconsistent, destructive, insolent, delinquent, unruly, inconsiderate,
responsive, indulging, babying, pampering, partial, nagging, bullying, docile, erratic.
II. Provide antonyms to the words given in the first exercise.
35
II. Supply the corresponding nouns to the words given in the first exercise.
III. Make up 5 English sentences with any of the words under study.
THE SPOILED CHILD
Blanket babies with love from birth, say the experts.
“You’re going to spoil that child!” Sooner or later a visiting friend or grandparent
utters this warning, and a parent becomes self-conscious about picking up a crying baby.
But is it true? No, say psychologists and pediatricians. They argue, more problems
may be caused by parents who withhold love and attention from an infant for fear of
raising a spoiled child.
The gap between popular beliefs and developmental facts is widest when it comes
to infants.
The results of a U.S. survey, in which 500 parents participated, showed that twothirds of the mothers and four-fifths of the fathers thought it was possible to spoil a child
under a year old.
Another study showed that more than half of a smaller sample of mothers agreed
that holding and rocking infants too much can spoil them.
Yet the truth is, for the first few months of life, this fear of spoiling a child is
absolutely groundless.
In 1972 a Johns Hopkins University study, which has been confirmed by recent
research, found that the babies most likely to fuss and cry were those whose mothers
had not responded promptly to their cries.
Parents who held back for fear of spoiling the baby often set in motion a vicious
circle: ignoring a newborn's cries led to more crying, which further discouraged the
parents from responding, which made the baby even more irritable and so on.
Tiny babies simply lack the ability to communicate their needs in any other way
than to wail, so the best thing parents can do is respond.
However, crying in a baby of, say, eight months is a bit more complex.
If she's in the habit of yelling in the middle of the night without any pressing
need, parents may decide to draw the line.
36
But, says Dr Bruce J. McIntosh, except for such "sleep problems, there are next to
no limits that you'd think of enforcing on a child before she starts to be mobile. Pick her
up as much as she wants."
It's not clear why so many parents fear playing the spoiler, although some
believe it's just plain bad advice that's part of our culture, passed on from one
generation to the next.
But others think the matter goes deeper than that.
According to some studies, parents who haven't had much support or affection
themselves then find it difficult to provide that same affection for their children.
Some parents may have a strong need to feel in control, which may interfere
with their ability to provide care that is sensitive to their baby's needs. Wherever the
belief originates, though, the study also revealed that the mothers who were most
worried about spoiling their children were least likely to provide a warm, caring and
emotionally supportive environment for them.
Fear of spoiling translates into lower-quality care for the infant, even though
that's not the parent's intention.
Alas, the rules are not so clear-cut when it comes to toddlers and older children.
It's hard to deny that some children are demanding, whiny and self-centered – in
a word, spoiled. How did they get that way?
According to specialists, these children are spoiled because their parents
probably never set clear limits or taught them to accept that sometimes the answer
must be no.
Parents who feel bad about not spending time with their children may try to
compensate by giving in to every demand or by trying to fulfill emotional needs with
material things.
''Parents should examine their motives," Dr McIntosh says. "Are they acting out
of guilt or out of genuine concern for the child's welfare?
"Are they trying to meet a child's complex developmental needs by giving her
things instead of time?"
Of course, distinguishing between a reasonable and an unreasonable request isn't
always easy. For example, there are no fixed rules about how late a child should be
able to stay up or how many biscuits are too many.
In general, the parent who is afraid to say no and who fears losing the child's
love may be in danger of raising a brat.
37
But as a rule, the mother or father who can set clear limits and who responds to
the child's needs for attention, time and caring needn't worry about spoiling a child.
It's imperative that parents remember that they have a limited period with their children.
They must enjoy their children, and become friends, as this will provide a firm foundation for future relationships. Instead of parents imposing their
ideas, their dreams and their disciplines on their children, they should be trying to create an atmosphere in which other ideas are acceptable, other dreams are
possible and the children can become self-disciplined through making their own choices.
This way the children are more likely to grow into the happy and productive adults you really want them to be.
Alife Kohn
/New Idea, 4, 1992/
38
SET WORK
I. Explain the meaning of the words and word combinations below. Say how
they were used in the article.
to pick up a crying baby
to withhold love
for fear of sth.
When it comes to infants/newborns
the results of the survey showed/found/revealed…
to rock an infant
to hold back
to set in motion a vicious circle
to wail
a whiny child
to draw the line
to play the spoiler
to grow into a productive adult
emotionally supportive environment
to translate into smth.
to fulfill emotional needs with material things
to stay up
brat
to act out of guilt/genuine concern for sb.
II. Clarify the difference between the following words. Give examples to illustrate
their usage.
To give in - to give up;
Newborn-infant-toddler-baby-child;
To pick-to pick up;
To wail-to yell-to scream.
III. Find in the article the English for:
когда дело касается маленьких детей; согласно
результатам исследования;
беспочвенный, необоснованный; сообщать о своих потребностях; острая
необходимость; передавать из поколения в поколение; окружить любовью; все
обстоит гораздо серьезнее, страх превращается в плохую заботу; небрежное
39
отношение; четкие правила; становиться дисциплинированным, делая свой
собственный выбор; создать во всех отношениях благоприятную обстановку;
благополучие ребенка; потакать каждому капризу; определить четкие рамки,
ограничения
для
кого-либо;
восполнять
эмоциональные
потребности
материальными вещами; быть отзывчивым по отношению к кому-либо, его
нуждам; эгоистичный; нытик.
IV. Translate into English using the words under study.
1. Многие избалованные дети – чрезмерно настойчивые, капризные, зацикленные
на себе нытики. 2. Рецепт приготовления этого блюда передается в этой семье из
поколения в поколение. 3. Вопрос о том, стоит ли качать ребенка на руках попрежнему остается спорным. 4. Когда детям недодают любви, они озлобляются и
вряд ли вырастут полноценными людьми. 5. Новорожденный так кричал, что ему
пришлось опять дать соску. 6. Нельзя покончить с взятками, повысив зарплату
судьям, все не так просто. 7. Если человека окружают любовью с детства, а в доме
царит мирная благоприятная обстановка, значит родители этого человека мудрые
и тонкие психологи. 8. «Пора расставить все точки над «i» и поставить нашу дочь
в определенные рамки. Хватит потакать ее каждому капризу!» - вспылил отец. 9.
Мужья, дающие женам крупные суммы денег на развлечения, часто поступают так
из чувства вины, особенно, если у них есть любовница. 10. Когда дело касается
денег, многие подростки строят из себя «паиньку», чтобы получить от родителя
желаемую сумму, особенно если они испытывают в ней острую необходимость.
IV. Say whether you agree or disagree with the following statements. Give reasons.
1.
One should not pick up a crying baby.
2.
It is possible to spoil a child under a year old.
3.
More problems can be caused by parents who withhold love and attention from
an infant for fear of raising a spoiled child.
4.
The fear of spoiling a child is absolutely grounded as it is the child’s innate
characteristics that matter.
5.
Tiny babies simply lack the ability to communicate their needs in any other
way than to wail.
6.
Parent must impose their ideas, dreams and disciplines on their children.
7.
Good parents’ better play the spoiler.
8.
There is nothing bad in trying to compensate for lack of care and love of
fulfilling emotional needs with material things.
40
9.
It’s not always ease for a parent to distinguish between a reasonable and
unreasonable request.
10. Even an ideal parent may raise a brat.
VI. Points for discussion.
1. How do children become spoilt? Who is to blame for it?
2. What problems can be caused by parents? Are they soluble?
3. Should parents bother that their children can grow into spoilt naggers? What kind of
limits should be set on children?
4. Should parents blanket their offspring with love or should they love them without
letting their children know about it?
5. How to avoid raising a brat? Are brats that unwelcome?
6. Did your parents blanket you with as much love as you needed?
РАЗВЕ Ж ЭТО ДЕТИ?
Насколько взрослым можно указывать на их недостатки с чистой совестью
– сами виноваты в своих глупых пристрастиях, - настолько детям нельзя ну
просто ничего вменить в вину. Потому что всё идёт от родителей, бабушек,
улицы, учителей и вообще безответственных взрослых. Это они по собственной
глупости, из-за отсутствия чувства меры и многочисленных комплексов
старательно взращивают недостатки чудных малюток. А сами дети вроде бы ни
при чём…
Но дети разные и терзают нас по-разному. По крайней мере, не плохо
задуматься, как именно они это делают, - так считает психолог из Варшавы
Катаржина Лангрен и рисует 13 типов действительно несносных детей. Почемуто этих типов набралась как раз чёртова дюжина…
ЛИПУЧКА
На прогулке, на детском празднике – всюду – каждые три минуты подбегает к
маме и «приклеивается». Просится на руки, прячет голову под мышкой – только
для того, чтобы убедиться, что он – самый главный, а мама, мягкая, удобная и
привычная, как всегда на месте.
НЮНЯ
41
Искусство рыдания у него доведено до совершенства. Слёзы градом могут
катиться по щекам даже потому, что мороженое вместо обещанного сливочного
оказалось малиновым.
СЛАБЕНЬКИЙ
Стоит только родителям слегка повздорить между собой, стоит только дяде не
купить обещанную игрушку, а учительнице в школе объявить о предстоящей
контрольной по математике – вот, смотрите-ка ангина!
ЯЗВА
Как никому другому удаётся ему смутить покой всей семьи. Одна только
фраза типа: «Мам, а бабушка сказала, что ты очень уж форсишь. Что такое
«форсить»?» - может спровоцировать шумный семейный скандал, о чём ребёночек
прекрасно знает и уже заранее радуется предстоящему развлечению.
МЕРЗКИЙ
Всё время что-то вяло жуёт, мямлит и бормочет себе под нос. Недожёванную
еду может продержать во рту полдня. В задумчивости ковыряет в носу, рыгает, и
его может стошнить прямо на стол. Для развлечения часами сидит на горшке.
ЗАНУДА
Беспрерывно голосом Утёнка Дональда напоминает взрослым, что они
ошиблись, опоздали, забыли, поступили неразумно и пр., и пр.
«НАОБОРОТ»
Уже с самых первых дней делает всё наоборот. Спит днём, плачет ночью.
Когда идёт град настаивает на прогулке, а в солнечную погоду готов день
напролёт играть в подвале. Смеётся, когда делают укол, и заходится в конвульсиях
от страха у парикмахера. В конце концов, когда вырастает, в спутники жизни
выбирает себе негра (негритянку) - назло папочке и бабусе.
АСКЕТ
Родители боятся, что ребёнок не вырастет, поэтому кормят его насильно, от
чего на самом деле растут только синяки под глазами. Дитя смотрит на взрослых
грустным и одновременно презрительным взглядом. На их просьбы и угрозы, на
их бессилие и глупость. И надо признать справедливо.
САДИСТ
Тихий и дисциплинированный ребёнок, играет в шахматы и старательно
делает уроки. В свободные минуты с научным подходом обрывает крылышки
мухам и для порядка запирает младшую сестру в шкафу часа на два.
42
ПАПИНА КУКОЛКА
Чем больше папу воротит от мамы, тем роскошнее подарки, которые получает
дочка. И, естественно, тем распущеннее и глупее вырастает, возбуждая всё
возрастающую ненависть у мамуси.
ПОДЛИЗА
Такой ребёнок всегда найдётся, особенно среди многочисленных братьев и
сестёр. Посмотрите на его умильную физиономию – этот сделает карьеру
наверняка!
ВЕЧНЫЙ РЕБЁНОК
Не вырастает никогда. Вечно в претензии к родителям – мало давали денег и
мало дают сейчас. Порой просто ненавидят их за то, что стареют, что нет у них
сил, что не похожи на красивейших и богатейших людей на свете. Ежедневно
напоминает, что лет 10 тому назад они на что-то не согласились или что-то
злостно загубили. Ребёнок вечно обижен, а родители постоянно оправдываются.
Катаржина Лангрен
/ «Семейный очаг», февраль, 1997/
SET WORK
I. What is the best way to say:
несносный ребёнок, лом, недоверчивый человек, ангина, форсить, ковырять в
носу, кого-то стошнило, жевать, говорить заунывным голосом, сделать кому-либо
укол, терзать родителей, подвал, делать всё наоборот, презрительный взгляд,
аскет, кого-то воротит от кого-то, распущенная, вечный ребёнок, мешки под
глазами.
II. Find in the article the Russian for:
to cling to sb.; sissy; weakling; predilections; to fuel family row; to mumble; a nasty
type; to be spoonfed; to belch, potty-pot; mate; bore; to do sth.; to spite sb; to force sb.
into eating; daddy’s Barbie doll; toady; a sweet face; to have a grudge against sb.; a
baker’s dozen.
III. Render the article into English, using the words and word combinations
from the first and second tasks.
IV. Points for discussion.
1. Why do you think the author focuses his attention on brutes but not on well-behaved
children?
2. Is there a grain of truth in the article or are the described types exaggerated?
43
3. Did you resemble any of the mentioned types in your childhood?
4. Do you share the author’s opinion that parents who are far from being perfect are to
blame for their children’s faults themselves?
Obedience
There was a boy whose name was Jim
And although life was good to him
And gave him home and food and love,
He thought that it was not enough,
That it was time for him to do
Those things that he's been told not to.
'I am ten and must be free
To enjoy what's been denied to me.
And I shall do it all,' he said.
I'll spread some black dirt on my bread,
And spill food on my Sunday clothes.
And I shall put beans up my nose.'
Everything that to this kid
His mom said, 'Don't,' he went and did.
He gulped his sandwich and dragged his feet,
Threw bags of garbage in the street.
Leaned out of windows, ran down halls,
And wrote exciting words on walls.
Until at last, at half past two,
He couldn't think of more to do.
Anger, gluttony, and pride He'd drunk and smoked and cursed and lied.
Stuck out his tongue, dropped his britches,
44
And shoved old ladies into ditches
And other things good folk condemn He'd done it all by 3.00 p.m.,
And satisfied his appetite:
Now what was left to do that night?
From this, dear children, you should sense
The value of obedience.
When I say, 'Don't,' I mean, 'Postpone
Some wickedness for when you're grown,
For naughty flings and wild rampages
Are much more fun at later ages.'
Now brush your teeth and go to bed,
And after all your prayers are said,
Lie in the dark and quiet as mice
And whisper one word that isn't nice.
Don't say ten, a whole big group,
Just say one, like 'panda poop.'
Oh, what a thrill from one bad word!
Say it a second time and third.
'Poop' is a vulgar word, and vicious.
How bad of you! And how delicious!
One is enough. The rest will keep.
Now shut your eyes and go to sleep.
Garrison Keillor
/English Learner’s Digest, №231, 2005/
45
SET WORK
I. Define the words and word combinations below:
sth. was denied to sb., to spread dirt on sth., to spill food on sth., to put beans up sb’s
nose, to gulp, to drag one’s feet, to lean out the window, gluttony, to curse, to stick out
one’s tongue, britches, to shove, good folk, to sense, wickedness, naughty flings, wild
rampages, to say prayers, poop, What a thrill!, a vicious world, to condemn.
II. Read out the poem. Mind your pronunciation and intonation. How do you find
it? Point out the cases of
a. irony;
b. euphemism;
c. epithet;
d. polysydenton.
What effect do they produce?
III. Formulate the message of the poem.
IV. Do your best to translate the poem into Russian.
Former Stamp Collector Jason Cowley on Why Being Cool Leaves Him Cold
Ben Elton, writing in the latest edition of the Radio Times has launched a polemical
attack on the concept of Cool Britannia and coolness in general. Complaining that the
country is collapsing under an avalanche of designer labels, he argues that the
celebration of cool is a deeply destructive force, bringing only misery and despair. “The
present Government should be very careful: style is no substitute for substance...What, I
should like to know, is so great about being cool anyway? All the trouble that is caused
in the world is caused by people trying to look cool. Uncool people never hurt anybody –
all they do is collect stamps, read science fiction books and stand on the end of railway
platforms staring at trains.”
Well, as a former stamp collector, Elton’s critique, I must say, carries a satirical ring
of truth. For how tired some of us have grown of the style bullies, of the cult of cool
which dictates how we must look and dress, where we shop and eat and with whom we
46
mix and speak. And how tedious it must be to be a slave to passing fashion, to be the
kind of person who walks down the street in eight-inch heels; or snorts cocaine; or
pierces his or her body; or uses a street-smart, wised-up vernacular, peppered with such
words as “cool” and “wicked” – because this is how the characters in Pulp Fiction speak,
or something like that. And how peculiar it is to go through life sneering at the so-called
uncool, the ordinary majority who live quietly, dress modestly and have no idea – or care
– what’s in or out, who’s hip or not; who never waste time worrying about whether they
should be drinking mocha or double espresso, listening to the Verve or Finley Quaye, or
wearing Helmut Lang or Martin Margiela.
I spent most of my late teens in pursuit of the grail of coolness. Why did I do this?
Because I was appalled at how “uncool” I was as an adolescent. Following Elton’s
model, I collected stamps (how proud I was of my Penny Black!), played and collected
marbles, was an altar server in my local church, enjoyed watching county cricket, let my
mother cut my hair, worked at Woolworth’s on Sunday afternoons and did a regular
paper round, for which I borrowed my mother’s bicycle (the basket was particularly
handy on Sunday). At school I was mocked for not smoking and for preferring to spend
my lunchtime playing sport, rather than looking for trouble. And no one understood why
I read Herbert Wells.
Turning 18, I’d had enough. So I revolted against the small conventions of my early
years, this resolute uncoolness. But nothing ever quite worked out. I bleached my hair,
but merely ended up scalding my scalp (crimping my hair was worse: my fringe fell out).
Trying my first (and last, as it turned out) cigarette, I was violently sick.
As for piercing my ears, I spent months arguing with my parents over the matter;
yet when I gathered the courage to have both ears pierced, against the wishes, I
discovered the local piercing booth had closed (we lived in a village).
I reached my nadir when, arriving at a party dressed, as I thought, as a dashing New
Romantic, with frilly blouse and eye liner, a former girlfriend laughed out, telling me
that I resembled nothing so much as Jane Fonda. In short: wishing to be cool, I ended
uncool.
So by the time I arrived at university, I’d exhausted my search and was ready to
work hard. This, I soon discovered, was not cool; in fact, quite opposite: my preference
for books over soft drugs led to accusations of eccentricity.
It is amazing how much of our contemporary culture – from the icon of popular
culture to politicians – is defined by restless quest for novelty, for cool. Just look at how
John Major, for all his faults of leadership, was ridiculed for the blandness of his image,
47
for looking like, well, what he was: a serious politician uninterested in the spurious
modernity of Cool Britannia.
So when William Hague puts on a baseball cap, or turns up at the Notting Hill
Carnival wearing chinos and a light denim shirt, buttons stylishly undone; or when the
likes of Ulrika Jonsson, Zoe Ball and Denise Van Outen pose flirtatiously in lad’s
magazines, their behaviour has a common motivation: look at me, they cry, we know
where it’s at.
If so, why do these girls, these stars of the ephemeral microphone, appear to share
the same image, the same bleached hair and glazed metropolitan swagger, the same
commitment to hard sunlight and designer labels?
But authentic cool is not like that at all. True originals, such as, say, Jarvis Cocker
of Pulp, Samuel Beckett or Jodie Foster lead, not follow; they are always one step ahead
of the game. They have a stable sense of self that transcends the merely fashionable; they
have the strength to stand alone. As for me, I no longer think that life is elsewhere. I’m
happy to let my hair lap my collar, even if I am occasionally confused with one of the
guys in Abba; live on the Hertfordshire/Essex border, drive an old VW Golf, wear cords,
spend time with Mum and play cricket at the weekends. Coolness can take care of itself.
Judith Martin
/The Times, Dec, 1998/
SET WORK.
I. Define the words and word combinations below. Say how tey were used in
the article.
To launch a polemic attack on sb., an avalanche of sth., critique, to be peppered
with sth., street-smart, to collect marbles, to be handy, to work out, to bleach / to crimp
one’s hair, to pierce one’s body, nadir, a frilly blouse, to laugh out loud, blandness,
spurious, the likes of, swagger, vernacular, to wear cords.
II.Say what you know about:
a) The Radio Times, Pulp Fiction;
b) Cool Brittania, Penny Black, New Romantic;
c) Mocha, espresso/chinos, a denim skirt;
d) Helmut Lang, Martin Margiela;
e) John Major, Herbert Wells;
f)William Hague, Ulrika Jonsson, Zoe Ball, Denise Van Duten, Jarvis Cocker,
Samuel Becket, Jodie Foster, Jane Fonda, the Verve, Finley Quaye, Abba.
48
III. Find out in the article the English for:
разрушительная сила; в этом сатирическом высказывании есть доля правды;
нюхать кокаин; идти по жизни; насмехаться над чем-либо; презрительно
посмеиваться над чем-либо; быть в ужасе от чего-либо; алтарник; нарываться на
неприятности; кому-то исполнилось 18 лет; восстать против чего-либо, объявить
протест; сжечь, обжечь; чёлка; собрать всё своё мужество; против чьей-либо воли;
сногсшибательный; карандаш для глаз; поиск новизны; расстёгнутые пуговицы;
приверженность чему-либо; носить длинные волосы.
IV. Explain what is meant by:
1. Style is no substitute for substance.
2. How tired some of us have grown of the style bullies.
3. I spent most of my late teens in pursuit of the grail of coolness.
4. The ordinary majority has no idea or care what’s in or out, who’s hip or not.
5. On Saturday afternoons I did a regular paper round.
6. Why do these girls, these stars of ephemeral microphone, appear to share the same
image, the same bleached hair and glazed metropolitan swagger, the same commitment
to hard sunlight and designer labels?
7. But authentic cool is not like that at all.
8. They have a stable sense of self that transcends the merely fashionable.
V. Formulate the thesis which author’s puts forward in his article.
CHILDREN ARE OUR BEST TEACHERS
Children have a lot of special talents to offer. Their pursuit of novelty and
wonder is both a cause and an effect –a gift of the life fully lived and one of the things
that makes life worth living. Anyone who knows children can tell you that they do the
following:
Children follow their interests. If a kid is bored, you know it. None of this polite
interest stuff the rest of us get stuck in. What they like, they do, and this teaches them
that following what they like makes them happy - so they do it some more.
Children seek out and risk experimenting with new things. If kids are
confronted with something unfamiliar, they will take a chance and try it out. They
prod and poke it, smell it, look at it from all angles, try using it in different ways, look
49
to see what you think about it - maybe even give it to you to see what you do with it.
We adults, by contrast, slap a label on it, say, "I know what that is," and dismiss it.
What we're really saying is, "I know what I already know about that, and there's
nothing more worth knowing," which is almost never true of anything or anyone.
Children pay attention to their own rhythms. We, grownups, tend to drive
ourselves until something's done, or until a certain hour strikes, but children do things
when they feel like it. Naturally, since someone else tends to their necessities, they
may have more time and freedom to do that, but we would do well to follow their lead
where we have the choice. When we work during our most productive times and rest
during our other times, we make the most of our energies. That means if we do our
best work between 4 P.M. 2 A.M., then we should strive to arrange our day to make
use of those hours. We become more trustworthy to ourselves and others.
Children honor dreams and daydreams. Children pay attention to, talk about,
and follow up on their dreams and fantasies. They may draw pictures they saw in
their dreams, conduct conversations with dream characters, and try to recreate
something experienced in dreams and day dreams. These are all creative acts.
Moreover, they are important: Mankind has learned that dreams are a language the
subconscious uses to communicate to the conscious. Many people say they don't
remember their dreams, but I know of no serious effort to connect with one's dream
life that hasn't succeeded. Those who succeed often report an experience of waking
and sleeping that is like living two lives, each one feeding and nourishing the other.
Children consider mistakes as information, rather than as something
unsuccessful. "That's a way it doesn't work. I wonder how else it doesn't work?" For
children, the process of figuring something out is in itself a win. We, however, are
hung up on outcomes, so we lay judgments on our mistakes - "We did it wrong" and
what is worse, we take it further - therefore "People won't love us," "We're never good
enough," and "We'll be all alone." No wonder mistakes frighten some of us so deeply.
Patterns like that aren't learned overnight, and changing them may take more than a
few tries, but they can be changed.
Children play. Kids make a game out of everything. Their essential business is
play, so to speak. They delight in spoofing each other, parents, and personalities.
They love to mimic, pretend, wrestle, hide and seek, surprise, play practical jokes.
They love to laugh, tell secrets, devise stories of goblins and fairies and giants and
monsters and heroes. They're not hung up on accuracy. When in doubt, they know
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they can always make it up. Many adults, however, have withdrawn permission from
themselves to be silly, to expose the part of themselves that feels young.
We've become overly concerned with violating cultural or institutional norms of appearing "unmanly" or "unfeminine." Even today, women march to echoes of,
"Don't be unladylike" and "Nice girls don't wrestle, yell, get angry, or compete." We
accept other people's judgments of what's okay behavior and disregard our own, all in
the name of security.
Not that security isn't important; it is. Without security, both children and adults
experience their energies diminished and fragmented by anxiety. We need to fit in, to
feel that, to some degree at least, we belong. We need some predictability to keep the
magnitude of decision-making within manageable limits. We need to know our
survival isn't threatened before we are free to play. However, security without the
fresh stimulation and joyfulness that comes through an open, experimental, playful
mind will ultimately drive all but the most fearful to venture out of safe cubbyholes in
search of that indefinable "more."
The fact that doing those things children do nurtures creativity is obvious. To
confirm this, all you have to do is compare a group of people who are actively creative
with a parallel group of people whose creativity is latent or inactive: You will find the
creative group more concerned with what sparks their interest, more willing to take
risks, more in tune with and responsive to their own personal rhythms and needs, more
fanciful and inclined to honor and follow their dreams and fantasies, less concerned
with being "right," more rebellious and non-conforming, and considerably more
playful.
What determines whether a person retains these characteristics and talents or
not? How can we who are parents at the moment help our children preserve and
enhance this aliveness?
One major factor that I believe contributed to retaining my own creative abilities
was my parents' unfailing support of any creative act that took my fancy. My father,
while much the silent type, modeled creativity for me. He painted - one of his
paintings hangs in my office today. He also built radios and hi-fi systems, striving
always to make something that performed better than what you could buy. Often he
succeeded. Even if the radio wasn't better, building it was good because it enabled him
to experiment, an inherently good thing to do.
My mother provided the even more powerful verbal praise, encouragement, and
support that most reinforced my creative behavior. She arranged for me to take
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singing lessons long before I was even aware that I had a voice worth training. When
I came home with a good grade on a mechanical drawing exercise, she immediately
bought me a drafting table. When I had the urge to build a reflecting telescope, she
took me wherever I needed to go to get the pieces and parts. It didn't matter whether
she understood the current project or not. She said sincerely that she thought I was
wonderful to be doing something so clever and creative, and she supported me with
concrete action.
You, parents, whose children are still young can do for them what my mother
did for me, and what in turn I'm doing for my children, even though they are now
grown. Tell them they are wonderful. Give help, but only when asked. Pay attention
to the process, and let the end result be wonderful - just because your children did it.
Ask them what they have learned, and applaud the learning. Tell them that finding
out what doesn't work is just as important as anything.
John Bowels
/From “Current”, №27, 2003/
SET WORK
I. Say what is meant by:
sb’s pursuit of novelty and wonder, the life fully lived, to follow one’s interests, to
prod and poke, to dismiss sth., to tend to one’s necessities, to follow one’s lead, to
follow up on one’s dreams, to lay judgement on sth., a few tries, to spoof, hide and
seek, to be hung up on sth., to experience one’s energies diminished and fragmented
by anxiety, playful mind, latent, fanciful, to spark one’s interest, to enhance aliveness,
to retain one’s creative abilities, a drafting table, the end result.
II. State the difference between the words given. Give examples to illustrate
their usage.
To seek - to seek out;
To dream - to daydream;
To feed - to nourish;
To play a joke - to play a practical joke.
III. Say how you understand the lines below.
1. We, adults, by contrast, slap a label on it.
2. Children pay attention to their own rhythms.
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3. We, grownups, tend to drive ourselves until something’s done, or until a certain
hour strikes.
4. We become more trustworthy to ourselves and others.
5. Mankind has learned that dreams are a language the subconscious uses to
communicate to the conscious.
6. We are hung up on outcomes.
7. Many adults have withdrawn permission from themselves to be silly, to expose
the part of themselves that feels young.
8. Even today, women march to echoes of “Don’t be unladylike”.
9. We need some predictability to keep the magnitude of decision-making within
manageable limits.
10.Security without the fresh stimulation and joyfulness <…> will ultimately drive
all but the most fearful to venture out of save cubbyholes in search of that
indefinable “more”.
11.My father, while much the silent type, modeled creativity for me.
12. Ask them what they have learned, and applaud the learning.
IV.
Points for discussion.
1. How do children differ from adults, in the journalist’s opinion? Do adults lose out
to children in some measure?
2. What’s the children’s most precious asset?
3. What determines whether a person retains the characteristics and talents obtained
in childhood?
4. How can adults who are parents at the moment help children preserve and
enhance their aliveness? Is it worth doing?
5. What do you make of the final sentence of the article?
Future Toy Boy
It’s never been more fun to be a kid, says a futurologist. In 10 years, it’ll be “fantastic”.
Evidence of Ian Pearson’s childlike curiosity is scattered about his office. A
robotic LEGO set lies in the corner, an electronic plasma globe sits atop his filing
cabinet and a Sony AIBO robotic dog “wandering around here somewhere”. Pearson’s
job is to peer into the future of technology for BTExact, an arm of British Telecom. He
forecasts everything from social trends, politics and information technology to the future
53
of retail markets and public transportation. But Pearson’s passions also run in a more
infantile direction: he loves thinking about what kids will be playing with in the future.
Pearson doesn’t worry that high-tech toys will stifle imagination. “I think it would
be really great to grow up now,” he says. “I am 42, going on 43, and it is just starting to
be good fun. In 10 years, we are going to be living a fantastic lifestyle.” Between now
and then, Pearson reckons that toys will continue the trend of becoming interactive
playmates for children. If he’s right (which happens 85 percent of the time, by his
estimate) our children’s bedrooms will look something right out of the movie “Toy
Story”. Here are some of his visions:
Heartbreak hotel: Dolls may soon come equipped with “social behavior” chips,
endowing them with the ability to “talk” to one another (they’d also be linked
wirelessly). The result would be a kind of doll soap opera. Imagine a 3-year-old girl
watching four of her favorite Barbies having a tea party, saying please pass the biscuits,
and gossiping about the neighbor’s G.I. Joe action figures. The toys might walk on legs
made from polymer gels, which bend in response to laser signals. They’d socialize with
one another, perhaps even getting into relationships, followed by the inevitable breakups.
Virtual friends: In chatterbox Web sites, people can now log on and have a dialog
with a computer-automated counterpart. Sony’s AIBO asks to be petted and flips its ears
to feign understanding. In a few years, children’s dolls and other toys may be endowed
with even more sophisticated personalities. Children will talk to them, and dolls will
sense a child’s emotional state and respond accordingly: if the child’s upset, the doll may
give a hug or speak more softly, or if the child’s angry, it might hide in a corner. “These
are dolls that wander around and behave as though they’re alive,” says Pearson. “They
begin to have real life consciousness and awareness. The doll ceases to be a toy and will
have the same basic legal protections as animals.”
Wraparound world: By 2010, contact lenses may allow kids (and adults) to play in
three-dimensional virtual worlds. A child’s wildest dreams would become a reality –
virtual animals, fairy princesses and pets would fill his or her room. Parents would no
longer have to worry that their computer-playing kids were too sedentary: a child could
play virtual soccer with Manchester United or dance with Christina Aguilera. “Instead of
using a joy-stick, you are using your whole body,” says Barry Pusitz, senior account
manager at Vivid Group, a Toronto firm that’s developing “gesture” technology.
Physical therapists at the University of Toronto are experimenting with the technology to
help rehabilitate cerebral-palsy victims. Vivid plans to market a “wraparound” 3-D game
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next year for about $ 7,500 each (though it uses a screen rather than contact lenses). This
technology, says Pearson, could ultimately be “a fantastic tool for a child’s imagination.”
Sarah Sennott
/Newsweek, Aug. 25/Sept. 1, 2003/
SET WORK
I. Explain the meaning of the words and word combinations below.
Reproduce the situations in which they were used.
To scatter, a robotics, LEGO set, a filing cabinet, futurologist, retail markets, to stifle
imagination, to endow sb. with sth., laser signals, to get into a relationship, to flip one’s
ears, to talk back, to give sb. a hug, fairy princess, sedentary, joystick, to rehabilitate
cerebral-palsy victims.
II. Say what you know about:
a) LEGO, SONY AIBO, BTExact.
b) The movie “Toy Story”, chatterbot Web sites, Manchester Untied, Christina Aguilera.
c) Barbie, “wraparound” 3-D games, robotic toys.
III.
State the idea behind the lines below:
1. Evidence of Ian Pearson’s childlike curiosity is scattered about his office.
2. Pearson’s job is to peer into the future of technology for BTExact, an arm of British
Telecom.
3. But Pearson’s passions also run in a more infantile direction.
4. Imagine a 3-year-old girl watching four of her favorite Barbies having a tea party,
saying please pass the biscuits, and gossiping about the neighbor’s G.I. Joe action
figures.
5. Sony’s AIBO asks to be petted and flips its ears to feign understanding.
6. They (the toys) begin to have real life consciousness and awareness.
7. “Instead of using a joystick, you are using your whole body.”
8. This technology (wraparound 3-D games) could ultimately be “a fantastic tool for a
child’s imagination.”
IV.
Points for discussion.
1. Is it interesting to be a futurologist? Would you like to be one?
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2. Could you predict the changes in social trends, politics and information technology for
the near future?
3. What do you think of high-tech toys? Can you name any? Are they better than ordinary
toys?
4. What were your favourite toys? What toys would you like your child to play with?
5. Should one worry that high-tech toys will stifle children’s imagination?
6. What do you think of future toys which would be able to socialize with the help of laser
signals?
7. Is it good that future toys will cease to be toys and children will be able to talk with
them?
8. Would you like to work as a toy-maker? What kind of toys would you design?
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Part II. Problem Parents
SHOULD YOU SMACK CHILDREN?
“My husband and I disagree about smacking. He is against it; he’s not at home
with the children all day.”
“If you find you are in danger of losing control with your child, you should leave
the room. A smack should be given in anger – but not in fury – that’s the distinction.”
“I don’t mind a quick slap with the hand but when dad uses his belt it’s no joke!”
“I will use the cane on the slipper on girls if they fail to do their homework.”
The hard facts about smacking
The Child Development Research Unit at Nottingham University interviewed 700
British mothers when their children were 1, 4, 7, and 11 years old. The results show that
smacking is common in families from all social classes, decreasing as the child gets
older.
How old?
 62 per cent of mothers smack their baby before he is 1 year old.
 68 per cent of mothers smack their 4-year-old child up to 6 times a week.
 33 per cent of mothers smack their 7-year-old at least once a week.
 15 per cent of mothers smack their 11-year-old child at least once a week.
Why?
67 per cent of 4-year-olds are smacked because they disobey rules, 38 per cent
because they tell lies and 58 per cent because they hit their mothers.
Where?
Smacking is common among parents in other countries too. A survey of over 3,000
sets of parents in America revealed that 90 per cent of 3-year-olds and 34 per cent of 15
to 17-year-olds are smacked on a regular basis. Research in Australia found that 81 per
cent of boys and 74 per cent of girls at primary school are smacked by their parents. The
same pattern is found in many other countries, including New Zealand.
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But the fact that smacking is wide-spread doesn’t make it right. That is why some
countries now have laws forbidding parents from smacking their children; Finland,
Denmark and Norway have all followed Sweden whose Parliament approved a bill in
1979 saying:
“Children are to be treated with respect for their person and individuality and may
not be subjected to corporal punishment or any other humiliating treatment.”
John Slaiks
/ from the Daily Telegraph/
SET WORK
I.
Say how you understand:
smacking, to use the cane, hard facts, to do sth on a regular basis, to be subjected to sth,
corporal.
II.
State the difference between the words given. Illustrate their usage.
To hit – to smack – to slap – to punch;
Anger – fury – rage.
III.
Find in the article the English for:
рисковать потерять контроль над ребенком, бить ремнем, это уже не смешно,
ударить ребенка тапком, опросить матерей, детей шлепают во многих семьях, не
соблюдать правила, опрос показал, что…, запрещать кому-либо делать что-либо,
унизительное обращение.
IV.
Make up a list of countries mentioned in the article. Make sure you
know their capitals. Be ready to show them on the map.
V.
Say whether you agree or disagree in the statements below.
1. If you find you are in danger of losing control with your child.
2. A smack should be given in anger but not in fury.
3. I don’t mind a quick slap with the hand.
4. Smacking is common in families.
5. The fact that smacking is wide-spread doesn’t make it right.
6. Children are to be treated with respect.
VI.
Points for discussion.
1. Should parents resort to corporal punishment to make children welldisciplined?
2. Do you agree that girls can’t be smacked because they are delicate
creatures?
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3. Is it better to use the belt or the slipper or the cane on the hand when
punishing children?
4. Can smacking be substituted by some other ways of upbringing children?
5. Does smacking have more pros or cons? Draw a comparative table.
TEN REASONS NOT TO HIT YOUR KIDS
In Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Finland, Iceland, Croatia, Cyprus, Latvia, Italy,
Israel, Germany and Austria, it is illegal for a parent, teacher, or anyone else to spank a
child. In some states and provinces, it is only illegal for a teacher to spank. In all areas of
North America, physical punishment by a parent, as long as it is not severe, is still seen
by many as necessary discipline, and condoned, or sadly, even encouraged.
For the past several years, many psychiatrists, sociological researchers, and parents
have recommended that we seriously consider banning the physical punishment of
children. The most important reason, according to Dr. Peter Newell, coordinator of the
organization End Punishment of Children (EPOCH) 1, is that “all people have the right
to protection of their physical integrity, and children are people too.”
1.
Hitting children teaches them to become hitters themselves. Extensive
research data is now available to support a direct correlation between corporal
punishment in childhood and aggressive or violent behavior in the teenage and adult
years. Virtually all of the most dangerous criminals were regularly threatened and
punished in childhood. It is nature’s plan that children learn attitudes and behaviors
through observation and imitation of their parents’ actions, for good or ill. Thus it is the
responsibility of parents to set an example of empathy and wisdom.
2.
In many cases of so-called “bad behavior”, the child is simply responding in
the only way we can, given his age and experience, to neglect basic needs. Among these
needs are: proper sleep and nutrition, treatment of hidden allergy, fresh air, exercise, and
sufficient freedom to explore the world around him. But this greatest need is for his
parents, who are often too distracted by their own problems and worries to treat their
children with patience and empathy. It is surely wrong and unfair to punish a child for
responding in a natural way to having important needs neglected. For this reason,
punishment is not only ineffective in the long run, it is also clearly unjust.
3.
Punishment distracts the child from learning how to resolve conflict in an
effective and humane way. As the educator John Holt wrote, “When we make a child
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afraid, we stop learning dead in its tracks.” A punished child becomes preoccupied with
feelings of anger and fantasies of revenge, and is deprived of the opportunity to learn
more effective methods of solving the problem at hand. Thus, a punished child learns
little about how to handle or prevent similar situations in the future.
4.
“Spare the rod and spoil the child”, though much quoted, is in fact a
misinterpretation of Biblical teaching. While the “rod” is mentioned many times in the
Bible, it is only in the Book of Proverbs that this word is used in connection with
parenting. The Book of Proverbs is attributed to Solomon, an extremely cruel man whose
harsh methods of discipline led his own son, Rehoboam, to become a tyrannical and
oppressive dictator who only narrowly escaped being stoned to death for his cruelty. In
the Bible there is no support for harsh discipline outside of Solomon’s Proverbs. By
contrast, the writings in the Gospels, the most important books in the Bible for
Christians, contain the teachings of Jesus Christ, who urged mercy, forgiveness,
humility, and non-violence. Jesus saw children as being close to God, and urged love,
never punishment.
5.
Punishment interferes with the bond between parent and child, as it is not
human nature to feel loving toward someone who hurts us. The true spirit of cooperation
which every parent desires can arise only through a strong bond based on mutual
feelings of love and respect. Punishment, even when it appears to work, can produce
only superficially good behavior based on fear, which can only take place until the child
is old enough to resist. In contrast, cooperation based on respect will last permanently,
bringing many years of mutual happiness as the child and parent grow older.
6.
Many parents never learned in their own childhood that there are positive
ways of relating to children. When punishment does not accomplish the desired goals,
and if the parent is unaware of alternative methods, punishment can escalate to more
frequent and dangerous actions against the child.
7.
Anger and frustration which cannot be safely expressed by a child become
stored inside; angry teenagers do not fall from the sky. Anger that has been accumulating
for many years can come as a shock to parents whose child now feels strong enough to
express this rage. Punishment may appear to produce “good behavior” in the early years,
but always at a high price, paid by parents and by society as a whole, as the child enters
adolescence and early adulthood.
8.
Spanking on the buttocks, an erogenous zone in childhood, can create in the
child’s mind an association between pain and sexual pleasure, and lead to difficulties in
adulthood. “Spanking wanted” ads in alternative newspapers attest to the sad
60
consequences of this confusion of pain and pleasure. If a child receives little parental
attention except when being punished, this will further merge the concepts of pain and
pleasure in the child’s mind. A child in this situation will have little self-esteem,
believing he deserves nothing better.
Even relatively moderate spanking can be physically dangerous. Blows to the
lower end of the spinal column send shock waves along the length of the spine, and may
injure the child. The prevalence of lower back pain among adults in our society may well
have its origins in childhood punishments. Some children have become paralyzed
through nerve damage from spanking, and some have died after mild paddling, due to
undiagnosed medical complications.
9.
Physical punishment gives the dangerous and unfair message that “might
makes right”, that it is permissible to hurt someone else, provided they are smaller and
less powerful than you are. The child then concludes that it is permissible to mistreat
younger or smaller children. When he becomes an adult, he can feel little compassion for
those less fortunate than he is, and fears those who are more powerful. This will hinder
the establishment of meaningful relationships so essential to an emotionally fulfilling
life.
10.
Because children learn through parental modeling, physical punishment
gives the message that hitting is an appropriate way to express feelings and to solve
problems. If a child does not observe a parent solving problems in a creative and humane
way, it can be difficult for him to learn to do it himself. For this reason, unskilled
parenting often continues into the next generation.
Gentle instruction, supported by a strong foundation of love and respect, is the
only truly effective way to bring out commendable behavior based on strong inner
values, instead of superficially “good” behavior based only on fear.
Jan Hunt
/Science Monitor, № 23, 2005/
SET WORK
I. Say what is meant by:
physical integrity, empathy, hidden allergy, undivided attention, at hand, humility, to
relate to a child, early adulthood, to attest to sth, to send shock waves, mild paddling, to
hinder, parental modeling, gentle instruction.
II. Find in the article the English for:
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прощать, социолог, учиться чему-либо посредством наблюдений, мысли о мести,
чудом избежать чего-либо, взывать к любви, испытывать любовь к кому-либо,
достигать желаемой цели, как гром с ясного неба, когда наступает юность, иметь
низкую самооценку, слить воедино, это дает понять, что…, что-то является
дозволительным, плохое родительское отношение передается по наследству,
похвальный, поверхностный, эмоционально насыщенная жизнь.
III. State the difference between the words below. Give examples to illustrate their
usage.
Human – humane;
by contrast – in contrast;
to collect – to accumulate.
IV. Pick out phrases from the text which contain the preposition “through” and
explain their meaning.
V. Say whether you share the ideas expressed below. Give reasons.
2. Hitting children teaches them to become hitters themselves.
3. Parents are often too distracted by their own problems and worries to treat their
children with patience and empathy.
4. Spare the rod and spoil the child.
5. Punishment interferes with the bond between parent and child.
6. Angry teenagers do not fall from the sky.
7. Spanking on the buttocks, an erogenous zone in childhood, can create in the
child’s mind an association between pain and sexual pleasure, and lead to
difficulties in adulthood.
8. Might makes right.
VI. What you know about:
Solomon, Rehoboam, the Gospels.
VII. Give a brief summary of the article.
VIII. Are there any other reasons not to hit your kids?
ПОРКА ДЕЛУ НЕ ПОМОЖЕТ
Здравствуй, Вика! Моему сыну Лёше – три года, в садик он не ходит, мы
живём вместе с мамой, и с рождения его воспитывает бабушка. Внука она обожает
и настолько избаловала, что ребёнок стал садиться на шею всем домашним.
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Лёша совсем перестал слушаться, на прогулке может специально залезть в
лужу, а когда бабушка его вытаскивает, начинает её отталкивать и даже плеваться.
Слово «нельзя» он не понимает. Однажды после того, как сын изорвал новую
книжку, муж отшлёпал его ремнём. Совсем не больно, скорее, чисто
символически. Но ребёнок после этого больше часа заходился в истерике. Мы
сейчас в полной растерянности, не знаем, как себя правильно вести, чтобы, с
одной стороны, не порушить сыну психику, но при этом вырастить его хорошим
человеком. Пожалуйста, подскажите, как нам быть.
Светлана УСТЮГОВА,
Г. Коломна
 Дорогая Светлана! Вопросы, которые ты задаёшь, мучают многих
родителей. Наказывать или нет? Если наказывать, то как? Браться ли за
ремень или это только нанесёт ребенку вред?
Наказывать за проступки, пресекать дурные склонности, конечно, надо.
Ребёнок должен привыкнуть к тому, что есть правила, которые необходимо
соблюдать. Кстати, знание границ дозволенного важно и для самого ребёнка, это
вносит спокойствие и упорядоченность в его жизнь. Но наказывать нужно уметь.
Ни один психотерапевт не скажет, что ребёнка, наказывая нужно бить.
Ведь этим родители показывают своё бессилие, неумение добиться желаемого
«цивилизованными» методами. Так что же делать, если малыш, к примеру, упрямо
рвёт книгу, не реагируя на ваши слова? Шлёпнуть, поставить в угол? Самое
правильное – взять книгу и убрать её в недоступное для малыша место, объяснив
при этом, что книжка «обиделась» и не вернётся, пока он не попросит у неё
поощрения.
Взрослым часто бывает трудно понять мотивы поведения ребёнка. В
трёхлетнем возрасте малыш начинает активно проявлять своё «я», однако он ещё
не способен испытывать чувства вины. Поэтому крики, угрозы, порка в этом
возрасте – бессмысленны. Правила поведения можно прививать только через игру,
поощрения, личный пример. А вот годам к пяти – шести уже будет эффективной
демонстрация родительской «обиды» на плохие поступки малыша, а так же
лишение его жизненных благ (мультиков, игрушек, сладостей, прогулки). Очень
важно, чтобы ребенок чётко понимал, за что его наказывают, и как долго будет
длиться наказание. Ни в коем случае нельзя говорить: «Больше никогда не будешь
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смотреть телевизор» и т.д. Лучше укажите конкретно: «Я лишаю тебя любимой
телепрограммы на три дня».
И самое важное – наказывать детей нужно без злобы, сохраняя
самообладание. Малыш должен чувствовать, что мама и папа при любой ситуации
очень его любят, а если наказывают, то для того, чтобы помочь ему стать хорошим
человеком.
ИМЕЙТЕ В ВИДУ
Ребёнок, подвергающийся телесным наказаниям, чаще всего затаивает
обиду на родителей и мысль о мщении. Со временем эти чувства отступают на
задний план и как бы уходят вовсе. Но в подсознании они остаются
нереализованной потребностью в проявлении агрессии. На протяжении всей
последующей жизни эта агрессия будет искать выход и рано или поздно его
найдёт.
Физические наказания по-разному влияют на детей с различными
индивидуально-психологическими способностями.
 Малыш - сангвиник очень быстро простит вам свою обиду за «ремень» и все
забудет. Но во взрослом состоянии нереализованная месть может проявиться
равнодушием к вашим старческим недугам.
 Поротый ребёнок - холерик с его врождённой склонностью к недовольству
может вырасти жестоким и озлобленным на весь мир.
 Флегматику, который от природы является медлительным и замкнутым,
будет трудно создать собственную семью, так как в его подсознании семья
связана с обидой и болью.
 Ребёнок – меланхолик, чувствительный и ранимый, со слабым типом
нервной системы, вырастет склонным к трусости, неуверенности в
собственных силах.
Более 200 старшеклассников российских школ приняли участие в опросе на
тему: «Должны ли родители наказывать детей?»
 Практически все опрошенные сошлись во мнении: наказывать нужно, если
они плохо себя ведут. А вот «репертуар» наказаний вызвал противоречивую
реакцию.
 Лишь некоторые философски заявили, что без порки порой не обойтись.
64
 Большинство же заявило, что такие действия родителей вызывают у них
глубокую обиду и у них в ответ всегда возникает желание поступить
«назло».
Диана Колосова
/ «Экспресс газета», № 16(585), 2006/
SET WORK
I. What’s the English for?
Избаловать; сесть на шею кому-либо; залезть в лужу; отталкивать кого-либо;
отшлепать ремнем; заходиться в истерике; пресекать дурные склонности;
упорядоченность; шлепнуть ребенка; поставить в угол; испытывать чувство
вины; порка; прививать правила поведения; жизненные блага; без злобы;
подвергаться телесным наказаниям; затаить обиду на кого-либо; в подсознании;
агрессия ищет выход; старческие недуги; вызвать глубокую обиду; принять
участие в опросе; озлобленный на весь мир; медлительный; ранимый; вести
себя плохо; поступить «назло».
II. What types of people are mentioned in the second article? Which type is the
easiest to deal with for a parent? Are you a melancholic, phlegmatic, choleric,
sanguine person? Do you think it’s good to be one?
III. Points for discussion.
1. Why are grandparents said to love their grandchildren more than their own
children? Is it the only reason why them and overindulge in their whims?
2. Why do children misbehave?
3. Were you punished when a child?
HYPERACTIVE?
Just go the park and climb a tree
Professor claims that behavioural “syndromes” are
normal childhood restlessness of a generation stuck at home
Unruly behaviour by many children is being falsely attributed to medical
complaints and syndromes when better parenting is needed, a leading academic has
claimed.
65
Priscilla Alderson, Professor of Childhood Studies at London University, said
that syndromes such as attention deficit disorder and mild autism were being exploited
by psychologists keen to “make a quick buck”.
Her conclusion will provoke fury among psychologists and the parents of
affected children, who have spent years fighting for recognition of a range of
behavioural problems.
The number of children registered with special needs has almost doubled over
the past decade to 1.4 million – an increase from 11.6 per cent to 19.2 per cent in
primary schools and from 9.6 per cent to 16.5 per cent in secondary schools. The term
encompasses learning difficulties, such as dyslexia, to various syndromes on the
«autism spectrum».
Professor Alderson was backed by Eamonn O`Kane, leader of the National
Association of Schoolmasters and Union of Woman Teachers, who said that members
were cynical about an exposition in the number of special needs diagnoses and called for
more support for teachers facing bad behaviour.
Professor Alderson said that it was often convenient for neglectful parents to
claim that a child had a behavioural disorder. She believes that much of the increase can
be put down to more flexible interpretations of normal childhood traits, such as
restlessness and excitability. In our more gullible age, she says, this becomes attention
deficit – which could be solved by engaging more with children and allowing them to let
off steam in traditional fashion by playing in parks and climbing trees.
“I recently visited a special school which had 27 children diagnosed as autistic.
Of those, only two that I met displayed the lack of eye contact and absence of empathy
which denotes true autism”, she said. “Money is behind all this. Psychologists want the
work, and lower the diagnosis threshold. Special needs is an administrative device
describing children who have extra needs from those provided for in the average
classroom”.
“Playgrounds and parks are empty, because of the scare stories about
abductions. But children need the space and freedom to play, run and climb – without
that, they are restless, and come to be seen as abnormally “hyperactive”.
“About eight children are murdered outside the home each year, compared with
about 50 inside. Cooping up children inside homes is not going to do them any good”.
Professor Alderson, 57, who has three grandchildren, admitted that her eldest
daughter had been “difficult”, something she attributes to her naivety at the time about
66
how to be a good parent. “By the time my other children came along I had realized that
if you treat children as they will behave accordingly”.
Teachers have complained about the growth in the syndromes, alleging that it
gives pupils an excuse to avoid time discipline. They are also suspicious about the
number of children who are able to use a diagnosis to claim more time in their
examinations. For a fee of $ 50, an educational psychologist or specialist teacher can
attest that a child should claim at least 25 per cent extra time because they have
behavioural or learning disorders.
Almost 37,000 11-year-olds were given extra time in their national test in
English in 2002 – up by 8,000, or more than 35 per cent, in two years. Similar increases
were seen in maths and science tests.
Barry Bourne, an educational psychologist, who has worked with children for
35 years, rejected the claims that his profession was exploiting labels to make money.
“In the past I think we had a very crude view of some of these disorders,” he said. “It’s a
very complicated issue. I think we have a much better understanding of what aspects
make up a personality than we did when I first joined the profession. Personally I am
convinced that family history plays a far more significant part than we believed in the
past and while surroundings and upbringing are also important alone they simply do not
explain why certain people from the same family develop in very different ways”.
Mr O`Kane, general secretary of the second largest teaching union, said: “A lot
of teachers are very cynical about the reasons behind the consequences for staff who
have to deal with the bad behaviour”.
An internet chatroom used anonymously by teachers reveals the beliefs of
many members of the profession. One posting complained about students who “are
whipped off to a psychologist and labeled if they show the slightest sign of
misbehaviour”.
It goes on: “This «diagnosis» then becomes an excuse for more misbehaviour
and yet they can behave well if threatened with punishment”.
Someone calling herself Miss Nomer responds: “I get sick of being trashed by
some little s*** who then tells me I can’t punish him because his pill hasn’t kicked in
yet. When you give a kid a syndrome, you give him an excuse”.
She blamed “uppity parents looking for compensation, a stick to beat teacher
and an excuse for their kid`s obnoxious behaviour and their inadequate parenting”.
Eileeen Hopkings, a director of the National Autistic Society, said: “This can
only add to the stress and confusion that many families face. The importance of
67
receiving a correct diagnosis cannot be emphasized enough. Access to the most
appropriate education and support depends on it. Our experience is that diagnosis is still
a battle for many families. Teachers believe the numbers of children with an autistic
spectrum disorder is on the increase”.
Many young children feel unsafe in local parks as these are often dirty and
dominated by gangs of older youths, a report says today. Lack of opportunities to play
out safety was the top concern of 5- to 13-year-olds from deprived parts of England,
according to research by the education watching Ofsted for the Government`s Children`s
Fund.
Three disorders top the list
Attention deficit hyperactive disorder:
The most commonly diagnosed
behavioural disorder among children, making them inattentive, easy distractible and
impulsive.
Tourette`s syndrome: Characterized by repeated and involuntary body
movements (tics). Can include eye blinking, repeated throat clearing or sniffing, arm
thrusting or jumping.
Autism: Features include impaired social interaction and communication and
restricted repetitive patterns of behaviour. Symptoms may vary in intensity. Mild autism
is often known as Asperger`s syndrome.
Jane Barron.
/ From The Times, Dec. 10, 2004 /
SET WORK
I. Practice the pronunciation of the words below. Learn and translate
them.
Hyperactive, attribute, syndrome, autism, encompass, gullible, empathy,
diagnosis, excitability, label, uppity, obnoxious, thrust, abduction, naivety,
anonymous, access.
II. Define the words and word combinations below. Say how they were
used in the article.
To be attributed to sth, to exploit, to back sb, to put down to sth, to let off
steam, to diagnose sb as…, to coop up, to attest, a crude view of sth ; posting, to
68
trash, the top concern, eye blinking, sniffing, arm thrusting, repeated throat
clearing.
III. Find in the article the English for:
чрезмерно активный; неугомонность, беспокойство; учителя, у которых
проблемы с дисциплиной на уроке; вспышка, быстрый рост чего-либо;
невыполняющие свои обязанности, плохие родители; детская площадка; вне
дома;
опровергать
слухи;
составляющие
личности;
играть
более
существенную роль; пригрозить наказанием; несносное, отвратительное
поведение; нервничать и быть в замешательстве; более старшие ребята;
служащие, кадры; нельзя переоценить; непроизвольный; с неустойчивым
вниманием; шаблон; меняться, разниться по интенсивности.
IV. Explain what is meant by :
A generation stuck at home, attention deficit disorder, mild autism, behavioural
problems, affected children, normal childhood traits, to display the lack of eye
contact, the average classroom, a scare story, to avoid discipline, to join the
profession, inadequate parenting, uppity parents, extra funding, the deprived parts
of London, the education watchdog, impaired social interaction, restricted /
repetitive pattern.
V. Dwell upon the symptoms of:
a) Tourette`s syndrome;
b) Asperger`s syndrome and say if they are dangerous. Are many children
afflicted by them?
VI. State the idea behind the lines below.
1. Unruly behaviour by many children is being falsely attributed to medical
complaints and syndromes when better parenting is needed.
2. Her conclusion will provoke fury among psychologists and the parents of
affected children, who have spent years fighting for recognition of a range of
behavioural problems.
3. Psychologists want the work, and lower the diagnosis threshold.
4. They are also suspicious about the number of children who are able to use a
diagnosis to claim more time in their examinations.
5. Barry Bourne rejected the claims that his profession was exploiting labels to
make money.
6. One posting complained about students who «are whipped off to a
psychologist and labeled if they show the slightest sign of misbehaviour ».
69
7. «I get sick of being trashed by some little s*** who then tells me I can’t
punish him because his pill hasn’t kicked in yet».
8. She blamed
«uppity parents looking for compensation, extra funding, a
stick to beat teacher and an excuse for their kid`s obnoxious behaviour ».
9. Our experience is that diagnosis is still a battle for many families.
VII. Say whether you share the idea expressed in the following sentences.
1. It is often convenient for neglectful parents to claim that a child has a
behavioural disorder.
2. If you treat children as adults they will behave accordingly.
3. Syndromes such as attention deficit disorder and mild autism were being
exploited by psychologists keen on to «make a quick buck».
4. People from the same family develop in very different ways.
5. We need to do more to address the consequences for staff who have to
deal with the bad behaviour.
6. When you give a kid a syndrome, you give him an excuse.
7. Many young children feel unsafe in local parks as there are often dirty
and dominated by gangs of older youths.
VIII. Points for discussion.
1. Do you agree that children would be less unruly if they let the steam
off on the playgrounds and in the parks?
2. Can surroundings and upbringing explain why certain people from the
same family develop in very different ways? Can you explain why it
happens?
3. Do many children use behavioural disorder as a cover for their
misconduct?
4. Why does Miss Nomer use rude language when she shares her
impressions about problem kids?
5. Is it accidental that the number of children with an autistic spectrum
disorder is on the increase?
6. What is the journalist’s point in writing this article?
Permissiveness: “a beautiful idea that didn’t work?”
70
Recent fads in childcare are on the way out as parents reassert their control over
offspring. Results, many families find, are gratifying.
At the Thermally Institute in Chicago, a small child from a “permissive” home was
gently but firmly admonished by an adult for misbehaving. The youngest soberly
conceded the point without a whimper – and her parents, watching behind a one-way
window from the next room, were amazed. “I can’t believe it,” the father said, shaking
his head. “My kid is learning to behave without kicking and screaming in the process.” It
was a typical session at the institute, which is teaching about 400 children a year to
overcome the effects of too much permissiveness at home.
A nationwide revival of interest in parental authority and responsibility is only one
of many developments that underline the growing worry over the health and future of the
American family. Sociologists, psychiatrists and other scholars are warning that a return
to stability in national life cannot be achieved without a strong family base. More and
more, too, critics are zeroing in on the home –
not society – as the source of
troublesome youngsters.
Parents of juvenile criminals are sometimes finding themselves on the receiving
end of multimillion-dollar damage suits brought by the families of the victims. Some
communities are experimenting with the idea of holding parents responsible for paying
the costs of vandalism committed by their children.
Recently the president of the National Education Association announced that
educators are tired of taking the blame for declining achievement in classrooms, when
much of the root cause is lack of support and motivation in the home. He said: “we must
ask: Why are we seeing more of such students? And what is happening to families and
homes in this era of increased mobility and single-parent split homes?”
Alarming statistics reinforce skepticism about the way the American family is
functioning. One out of every six American children is living with only one or neither.
Half the mothers of school age children are in the work force. Between 1970 and 1975,
about 41 per cent of all Americans aged five and changed residency, often moving to
another neighborhood or city.
Beyond the statistical data are other factors that many see as putting new strains on
family solidarity and stability. Among them the intrusion of alien values into the home
through television, and-as much as anything else- the rise of permissive theory of child
rearing that became popular in recent decades through the writings of Dr. Benjamin
Spock and others. This theory was critical of punishment in any room, or denial of
71
rewards to disobedient children. Parents, instead, were encouraged to discuss problems
with their youngsters, relying on persuasion rather than punishment.
Some family and child specialists retain their faith in the “liberated child”
philosophy. For instance, Dr. E. Gerald D., head of the child and adolescent outpatient
clinic at New York Hospital, says young people are “no longer in the dark as they
were50 years ago.” “He adds: “they know what goes on, I think they are great – exciting
and stimulating. One of the reasons that adults don’t like them is that they don’t know
their place’ as they did 100 years ago, or even 20 years ago.”
Now many family advisers are to downgrade enthusiasm for other popular trends
such as raising children in communes or with one parent only.
Dr. Dennis G. of the outpatient clinic at the University of Chicago Medical School
says: “A child needs two loving parents. When one parent is absent, physically or
emotionally the child can develop grate difficulties.”
The renewed emphasis on old methods has created many problems for parents
attuned to philosophy of the recent past in some cases, a whole program of re-education
has been necessary.
At Chicago’s Theraplay Institute, parents are encouraged to learn from the work of
professional therapists. Ann J., director of Therapla, advocate that children should be
raised with definite rules and limits in the household, or they may become confused and
unhappy, unable to set controls on themselves. “A family is not a democracy,” she adds.
“Children need a time to be babied, a time to be told how to live, and a time to be loved
physically before they are ready to behave as adults.”
Her recommendation: that» parents are the meanest mom and dad on the block with
rules, and the most loving mom and dad on the block with playful physical activity”
That advice is echoed by many other counselors and scholars, some of whom
condone occasional resort to “paddling” the recalcitrant child when all else fails. Many
children, themselves, seem to be that permissiveness is not the sole culprit in parental
shortcomings. Many parents often are found to be too strict with their children, imposing
harsh rules without much thought to a particular youngster’s needs. Power-income
parents, harassed by outside pressures, and to give low priority to time spent playing
with their youngsters or simply listening to them. Nor is a return to authoritative
households seen as likely, by it, to solve the disarray in today’s families.
What is needed, counselors say, are broad-scale adjustments in social and
economic institutions to provide support for family stability. As more and more parents
place their toddlers in day care centers or nursery schools, such agencies are being called
72
on to provide for parental participation on a regular basis to keep each child’s family in
the picture. Day-care centers provide by employers for children of working mothers have
not taken hold in America as rapidly as in Europe.
Even so, counselors say, children can benefit visibly from visits to the offices or
factors where their parents work. Understanding more about their elders’ activities is
described as an effective way of bridging the gaps that exist between the two
generations.
Another major effort involves better preparation of teenagers and young adults for
parental responsibilities and children’s needs. One approach: the home and family
classes for high-school student, now being offered increasingly by school system across
the country.
Some experts say that help may be coming from another factor – the tendency of
today’s young people to marry and bear children at later ages than in the past. This, the
reasoning goes, could produce parents who are more mature and better able to meet the
responsibilities of child rearing than their parents were.
Even so, some scholars warn, changes within the family cannot achieve the needed
stability and effectiveness in child rearing without support from outside institutions.
In the past, some critics feel, schools, courts and institutions were all too willing to
take on responsibilities once those of the family, as evidenced by the growth of
counseling, psychiatric programs and nursery schools.
Now, they believe, the time has come for outside institutions to search for ways to
support the family in carrying out its functions, not take them over. Says Sam L., a youth
co-ordinator for the probate court in Pontiac, Mich.: “what we’re seeing is a recognition
that the courts, and perhaps the schools, have accepted a lot more responsibility for
raising youngsters than they should have. Now we’re moving back from that.”
SET WORK
I. Define the words below and say how they were used in the article.
fad
to admonish
to concede a point
to put new strains on sb.
to set controls on oneself
to advocate
to harass
73
low-income
to give priority to smth.
toddler
to create work opportunities
to take hold
to bridge the gap
to offer a course in smth.
II. What is meant by?
1 a) Permissiveness, juvenile literature;
2 b) The Theraplay Institute, a family adviser, outside institutions, a day-care
center, home and family classes, the NEA, counseling programmes, psychiatric
programmes, outpatient clinic.
III. Interpret the lines below.
1. Critics are zeroing in on the home-not society at large.
2. Parents of juvenile criminals are sometimes finding themselves on the receiving
end of multimillion-dollar damage suits drought by the families of the victims
3. Among them are the intrusion of alien values into the home through television.
4. Permissiveness is not the sole culprit in parental shortcomings.
5. Some of whom condone occasional resort to “paddling” the recalcitrant child.
6. The renewed emphasis on old methods has created many problems for parents
attuned to philosophy of the recent past.
7. Now many family advisers are rushing to downgrade enthusiasm for other
popular trends.
IV. Give the English for:
родительский
авторитет,
отсутствие
поддержки
и
заинтересованности,
неблагополучная семья, состоящая из одного родителя, держать в курсе дела,
организовывать занятия, суд по делам семьи, семьи с незначительным доходом,
приходящее и кратковременное увлечение.
V. Reproduce the parts of the text in which these words and phrases occur.
Use these phrases in short sentences of your own.
74
To misbehave, to overcome the effects, to hold parents responsible for smth., to
take the blame for smth., to be traced to smth., to change residency, to rely on
persuasion, to be in the dark, to arrive at the view, to be encouraged to do smth., lowerincome families, to impose harsh rules, to take hold, to benefit from smth., to bridge the
gap, to meet the responsibility, to carry one’s functions, to take smth. over, to move back
from smth.
VI. Give the words for the following definitions.
To make a claim, to declare;
Interest, trend unlikely to last;
To give a mild warning or show disapproval;
To aim one’s attention directly towards;
Firmly established;
A person guilty of a crime or responsible for a problem;
To keep oneself in check;
To overlook or forgive an offence;
Refusing to obey or be controlled, even after being punished;
To give pleasure or satisfaction to sb.;
A baby who has just learned to walk.
VII. Translate the sentences below into English. Use the words under study.
1.Он увлекся игрой на гитаре последнее время. Это скоро пройдет. 2. Многие
социологи фиксируют свое внимание на доме как главном источнике трудного
поведения детей. 3. Кто-то все время ломает телефонные автоматы в этом городе,
но мы скоро найдем ответчика. 4. Некоторые люди не терпят даже мягкого
выговора или упрека. 5. В принципе, можно простить все, кроме предательства. 6.
Джон надеялся, что займет место отца, когда тот подаст в отставку. 7. После
очередного взрыва в войсках наступил беспорядок и паника. 8. Если ребенок все
время хнычет, надо выяснить причину этого. 9. Боб такой непослушный ребенок!
10. Родители должны держать себя в руках при любых обстоятельствах.
VIII. Give a 15-sentence summary of the article.
IX. Say whether you agree or disagree with these statements. Give your
reasoning.
75
1.
A return to stability in national life cannot be achieved without a strong
family base.
2.
Much of the root cause in declining achievement in classrooms is lack of
support and motivation in the home.
3.
The rise of permissive theory of child rearing is a major factor that puts new
strains on family solidarity and stability.
4.
One of the reasoning that adults don’t like young people is that they don’t
know place as they did 100 years ago, or even 20 years ago.
5.
Children can benefit visibly from visits to the officers or factories where
their parents work.
X. Comment on the headline of the article.
XI. Should parents be lenient or tough?
ЮНЫЙ ИМПЕРАТОР ИЛИ ЧОПОРНЫЙ ДЖЕНТЛЬМЕН? Все
зависит от того, где они родились….
Китай
Начиная с середины 70-х годов, каждой китайской семье разрешается иметь
только одного ребенка. Таким образом правительство пыталось и пытается
бороться с проблемой перенаселения. Сей час ситуация несколько изменилась, но
завести второго малыша позволяют себе в основном обеспеченные семьи.
Китаянки в недоумении спрашивают у жительниц Европы, почему они не рожают
из года в год ”ведь вам никто не запрещает”. Будущим родителям необходимо
получить разрешение на увеличение семьи. Правда, китайским крестьянам,
живущим в далеких провинциях, закон, как говориться, неписан. Китайские
традиции предписывали каждой семье обязательное рождение наследника - ведь
только мужчина может ухаживать за могилами предков. Даже в современном
Китае рождение девочки воспринимается если не как трагедия, то, как легкая
драма точно - ведь другой шанс может не представиться! Ну, уж, а появление
долгожданного мальчика подлинный праздник для семьи и “маленьким
императорам” нет ни в чем отказа.
76
Различия в воспитании начинается уже с обычного ухода. Маленьким
китайцам надевают штанишки с широкой прорезью так, чтобы не нужно было
тратить время и силы на переодевание и смену белья. Китайцы считают, что
таким образом важные части тела получают необходимое проветривание. А вот
область пупка, напротив, тщательно скрывается - по древним поверьям, именно
через пупок в ребенка проникают болезни. Совсем маленьких кормят детским
питанием, приготовленным обычно на соевой основе. С детства ребятишек учат
есть палочками.
Конфуцианство всегда настаивало на жестком воспитании, когда с детьми
почти не разговаривали, а любые их капризы пресекались на корню. Но
потепление педагогического климата и отказ от исторических ценностей привел к
неожиданным результатам - детей стали воспитывать в совершенно новом стиле вседозволенности и обожания. Первое поколение “новых императоров” еще не
выросло, поэтому судить о преимуществах или недостатках такой педагогики еще
рановато. В Китае много детских садов, яслей, развивающих центров, куда
принимают малышей работающих родителей. После школы многие китайцы
стремятся попасть в университеты- плюсы понятны этому народу как ни одному
другому. Учатся китайцы с большим прилежанием, прекрасно понимаю, что такой
шанс выпадает не каждому жителю этой удивительной страны.
Англия
Маленьким англичанам с детства приходится закалять характер ни родители,
ни воспитатели не поощряют баловства и капризов, но равномерно, методично,
терпеливо вытесывают из непокорного дитяти будущего джентльмена или леди. В
целом современнее британцы проводят со своими детьми довольно мало времени,
охотно оставляя малышей на попечение нянь и воспитателей. Ребенок не
допускается к взрослым разговорам, а тем более развлечениям и вообще “должен
знать свое место”. Современная британская семья не может пожаловаться на
малочисленность, но родственники не очень-то любят общаться между собой и
бабушку, сидящую с внуком, увидишь нечасто.
Чуть ли не с младенческого возраста английских малышей приучают к
исключительной вежливости и сдержанности - приметам любого взрослого
британца. Не только “спасибо” и “извините”, но и “сожалею, что…”, “мне ужасно
жаль…”, “искренне признателен”. Английский ребенок никогда не перебьет в
разговоре не только взрослого, но и даже своего сверстника. Правда, только в
77
присутствии взрослых! Среди ровесников английские ребятишки ничем не
выделяются,
разве
что
прононсом
и
практически
полным
отсутствием
жестикуляции. Даже самые маленькие англичане обладают зачатками тонкого
английского юмора и умеют превосходно вплетать в разговор меткие наблюдения
и высказывания.
Английская система образование славится по всему миру, но мало кто
представляет себе, какой ценой достаются знания. Начнем строго, что
обязательное школьное обучение начинается с пяти лет! Весьма популярным в
родительской среде считается отдать ребенка в частную школу интеграл. А вот
смешанные школы - как раз редкость. Обучение и воспитание базируется на
принципе несомненной строгости, и, хотя порки детей, к счастью, отменены,
некоторые педагоги это до сих пор весьма сожалеют об этом решении. Но
справедливости ради надо сказать, что выпускники частных школ действительно
прекрасно подготовлены к поступлению в колледжи.
США
Американцы - известные во всем мире хранители семейных ценностей - к
рождению детей относятся положительно и очень серьезно. Праздник длиться до
того дня, пока маме не потребуется выйти на работу. А на работу американцы
выходят довольно быстро после родов, потому что потерять хорошо оплачиваемое
место очень легко. Малыш остается на попечении родственников, соседей, друзей,
дощкольных учреждений - позволить себе дорогие услуги профессионального
беби-ситтера могут немногие семьи. Дешевле обходятся няни из нелегальных
эмигрантов, но, судя по растущему числу судебных процессов, доверять ребенка
таким дамам все-таки несколько опасно.
Американские
родители
не
намерены
поступаться
ежевечерними
развлечениями - малыши сопровождают их и в ресторанах, и на коктейлях, а
изредка даже в ночных клубах. В общем, главный девиз воспитания поамерикански: ребенок не должен составлять неудобства родителям. Даже самых
крошечных приучают засыпать без мамы, в своей комнате, самостоятельность это
второй конек местной педагогики. Детство многих американских детишек
проходит перед экраном телевизоров, но родители не видят ничего плохого - они и
сами так живут.
Питание американцев - это отдельный разговор. Даже самым маленьким
детям разрешено пить кока-колу, есть гамбургеры и картошку фри. Американская
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нация стремительно полнеет - и большей частью за счет подрастающего
поколения: такого количества детей с излишним весом вы не встретите больше
нигде.
С шести до двенадцати лет юные американцы посещают начальную школу. В
государственных школах уровень знаний достаточно примитивен, поэтому
серьезно настроенные родители отдают детей в частные школы.
Греция
Греки безумно любят детей: как своих, так и чужих. В результате среди
греческих детишек неизбалованного малыша встретишь нечасто. В Греции
властвует теневой матриархат, и последнее слово часто остается за матерью
семейства. Бабушка активно привлекается к воспитанию малюток, тем более, что
разные поколения семьи зачастую мирно уживаются в одном доме. По качеству
образования Греция превосходит даже Америку, но уже совсем по другой
причине. Дело в том, что Церковь в Греции - институт государственный, и
поэтому все церковные праздники считаются выходными днями. А поскольку
церковных праздников в Православии немало, греческие дети, посещающие
государственные школы, чуть ли не половину учебного года проводят вне школы.
Вот почему серьезно настроенные родители отдают детишек в частные школы. В
греческий университет поступить возможно только в случае успешной сдачи
экзаменов, поэтому обеспеченные греки не жалеют денег на дополнительные
занятия.
Швеция
В Швеции, стране победившего социализма с капиталистическим лицом,
детей воспитывают очень оригинально. Прежде всего, государственным законом
ребятишек воспрещается шлепать, а тем более бить. Родителям предлагается
изыскивать
иные
педагогические
методы,
а
шведские
дети
производят
впечатление исключительно независимых личностей. Шведская мама имеет право
на годовой послеродовый отпуск, после чего она обязана выйти на работу.
Женщины
впрочем,
нашли
выход
из
положения
и
довольно
активно
задействуют…пап. Многие мужья сидят с малышами дома, пока жены
зарабатывают деньги. При этом никто не комплексует!
В школу потомки викингов едва ли не позднее всех европейских соседей обучение здесь начинается с семи лет. Образовательная система, принятая в
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Швеции, считается довольно продвинутой - что неудивительно, если учесть, какие
огромные средства в нее вкладывает государство. Наряду с традиционными
предметами маленьким шведам преподают азы социальной культуры. Обучение в
вузах бесплатное, а студенты получают стипендии, в общем, достойная страна!
Игорь Рябцев
/«Детский мир», январь, 1999/
SET WORK
I. Render the above article into English and say what country brings up its
citizens in the right way?
1 June – World Children’s Day
We preach baby worship but practice baby farming
We have got used to the idea that buzz words are weasel words; they tend to mean
just the opposite of what they should.
“Spending more time with the family”- now one of the most weaselly phrases in
the language – means anything but. We are supposedly a nation of baby worshippers,
obsessed with our “kids” and longing for more time with them.
As usual the opposite is true.
We spend less and less time with our children. We are more and more prepared to
hand them over to other people, we have allowed the state to encroach more and more on
family life and it emerged that the government is about to nationalize parenthood and
family life altogether, so that we have to spend almost no time with them at all.
Charles Clarke, the education secretary, announced a brave new scheme of
“wraparound educare’ for all, in his chilling expression. He recognises that working
parents need not only education for their children but childcare, too, and he proposes to
provide it at school. “Educare”? What kind of talk is that?
“We need,” said Clarke with earnest confidence, “to create a universal one-stop
service for parents” and he has committed the government to offering school and social
care for children for 10 hours every day round the year, including the school holidays,
from infancy.
Given travel to and from school, this could well be an 11-hour day away from
home for many children. It has rightly been called boarding without beds. Clarke is
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proposing to start with pilot schemes, but in fact there are some schools where this kind
of thing already exists.
St Bede’s primary school in Bolton is open from 7.30am – 6pm for 51 weeks of
the year, providing breakfast, after-school clubs and nursery services for children aged
from six weeks to 11 years. From six weeks old means hardly out of the womb. This is
baby farming. What else can you call it?
Why not hand babies over at birth and have done with them as our forebears used
to do? Why not hang them up by the swaddling bands on a hook in some stranger’s hut?
Why not, like wretched wage slaves in the industrial revolution, tie them to the bedstead
for a 10-hour day to keep them out of serious harm?
We live in a society where people talk of baby worship and practise baby farming.
We talk of community and busily undermine the family. I wish I were surprised that
there hasn’t been a public outcry over this, but I’m not.
This might perhaps not be so shocking if all schools were temples of plenty, peace
and joy. After all, some children really do enjoy some boarding schools. But state
schools are not always such havens. Parents all know that there is a serious shortage of
good teachers and there are not nearly enough to give proper individual attention, even
during the present short school day.
We know teachers are under-trained, under-paid and demoralized, constantly
dropping out or taking stress leave, constantly being replaced by substitutes. We know
they often can’t keep order and that bullying is a grave problem in most schools, as is
violence in many. We know that too many nursery carers are in every way inadequate in
numbers, in training and in continuity of care.
We know that evidence about the quality and the effects of nursery care is
disturbing. We know that playing fields are being sold off, that few schools offer much
sport and we know that teachers are understandably wary of offering exciting and risky
activities for fear of lawsuits.
We know schools have vending machines selling junk food and drink that make
children obese. We know that most school meals are rubbish and that children are
allowed to choose the unhealthiest food.
If you applied to a pedigree dog society for permission to buy one of its animals
and explained that you would be sending it out for care for 10 or 11 hours a day to a
kennels down the road it would show you the door as an unfit owner. Wraparound
educare is not good enough for a valuable dog or even for a pedigree cat.
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Yet we solemnly think it is good enough for our children, or at least our
government does.
And it is taxing us more and more heavily so that it can give us our money back in
dribs and drabs and allowances and credits here and there to pay for the ferocious cost of
this baby farming, so we can then go out to work for the privilege of neglecting our own
children and handing them over to the state baby farmers.
“Children,” as Clarke said, “are our most precious asset. How we nurture, care and
support them in their early years is a fundamental test of whether a society values
individuals and believes in opportunity for all.” How true, for once, how true, whatever
he may have meant.
James Whirly
/From The Daily Telegraph, № 11, 2005/
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SET WORK
I. Practise the pronunciation of the words below. Learn and translate them into
Russian.
Weaselly, encroach, infancy, womb, forebear, wretched, bedstead, outcry, haven, wary,
obese, pedigree, ferocious, asset, substitute.
II. Define the words below. Reproduce the situations in which they were used.
To long for sth., weasel words, to hand sb. over to sb., educare, a one-stop service, to
commit sb. to sth., boarding, to hang up, to undermine, a public outcry over sth., to be
undertrained, to take a stress leave, for fear of, a vending machine, obese, dribs and
drabs.
III. Find in the article the English for:
проповедовать; растить, выращивать; быть одержимым чем-либо; и выясняется,
что…; якобы; комплексное обслуживание; круглый год; предел; свивальник,
пеленка; уберечь от опасности, повреждений; уйти с работы, бросить работу;
поддерживать дисциплину; серьезная проблема; заместитель, замена; спортивная
площадка; псарня; облагать налогом; не заботиться о детях; поклоняться,
боготворить.
IV. Provide the best Russian translation for:
buzz words, a baby worshipper, parenthood, a brave new scheme of sth., social care, a
chilling expression, pilot schemes, afterschool clubs, a boarding school, wretched wage
slaves, a nursery carer, to be demoralized, disturbing evidence, junk food, lawsuit, to
think solemnly, a precious asset, a fundamental test.
V. Give synonyms to the following words using the words from the first three tasks.
 To violate - ;
 Predecessor - ;
 Protest - ;
 Serious - ;
 Badly-trained - ;
 Sincere - ;
83
 Shelter - ;
 Valuable - ;
 Awful - ;
 Prudent - ;
 Alarming - .
VI. Reveal the difference between the words below. Give examples to illustrate their
usage.
To sell – to sell out;
To send – to send out;
Bed – bedstead;
Fat – stout – plump – obese.
VII. State the idea behind the lines below.
1. We have got used to the idea that buzz words are weasel words.
2. We have allowed the state to encroach more and more on family life.
3. From six weeks old means hardly out of the womb.
4. Why not hang them up by the swaddling bands on a hook in some stranger’s hut?
5. This might perhaps not be so shocking if all schools were temples of plenty, peace
and joy.
6. State schools are not always such havens.
7. We know that too many nursery carers are in every way inadequate in numbers, in
training and in continuity of care.
8. … and explained that you would be sending it out for care for 10 or 11 hours a day
to a kennels down the road it would show you the door as an unfit owner.
9. … so that it can give us our money back in dribs and drabs and allowances and
credits here and there to pay for the ferocious cost of this baby farming.
VIII. Do you agree that:
1. We spend less time with our children.
2. Childcare should be provided at school.
3. We live in a society where people talk of baby worship and practise baby farming.
4. Some children really do enjoy boarding schools.
5. Teachers are under-trained, under-paid and demoralized.
6. Bullying is a grave problem in most schools.
84
7. Most school meals are rubbish.
8. The government taxes us more and more heavily.
9. Children are our most precious asset.
10. How we nurture, care and support them [children] in their early years is a
fundamental test of whether a society values individuals.
IX. Points for discussion.
1. Is the headline of the article suggestive? What is the journalist’s point? Do you see
eye to eye with James Whirly or does he play up the problem?
2. What do you think of Charles Clarke’s idea of “wraparound educare” for all?
What does he mean by it? Is wraparound educare good enough for modern
parents?
3. a) The journalist resorts to a number of questions-in-the-narrative. Give examples.
What makes him use the syntactic device?
b) What is the journalist’s point of using anaphora in the second part of the
article? Give examples. What is the journalist driving at?
c) What effect is produced by a case of irony used in the last paragraph? What do
you make of the last sentence of the article?
d) Why did the journalist write such an article on the occasion pf June, 1?
4. Can professional nursery care substitute parental care and attention?
5. What should be done to put an end to baby farming, as James Whirly puts it?
Is it really necessary?
ХОРОШИЙ ЛИ Я РОДИТЕЛЬ?
Каждый ребенок - личность. Уникальная, неповторимая, наделенная
от Бога определенными талантами. И задача родителей - эти таланты
почувствовать и максимально развить. Но все ли мы делаем для этого?
Ответьте на вопросы теста.
1. На все вопросы своего малыша вы отвечаете спокойно, терпеливо и честно, а не
отмахиваетесь от него со словами: «Мне некогда, спроси у папы (мамы, бабушки,
дедушки), я сам (а) не знаю».
Да-1 Нет-0
2. Ваш ребенок имеет в квартире собственную комнату (или угол с личным
столом, полкой для книг и игрушек), куда никто из взрослых не вторгается с замечаниями и требованиями «навести порядок».
85
Да-1 Нет-0
3. Вы не забываете каждый день говорить ребенку, как вы его любите, несмотря на
все ошибки и шалости. Никогда не говорите, что Вася, Маша и другие лучше, чем
он.
Да-1 Нет-0
4. Вы приучаете ребенка к самостоятельности, поручаете ему какое-то дело и даете
возможность справиться самому. При этом хвалите только в случае
действительного успеха.
Да-1 Нет-0
5. Ежедневно вы находите время, чтобы побыть с ребенком наедине. Вы читаете
вместе книгу, обсуждаете фильм, планируете, куда пойдете всей семьей в выходные.
Да-1 Нет-0
6. Отправляясь в отпуск, всегда берете ребенка с собой.
Да-1 Нет-0
7. С малых лет вы учите ребенка общению с другими детьми и взрослыми,
занимаетесь его религиозным воспитанием.
Да-1 Нет-0
0-2 очка. С большой вероятностью можно утверждать, что своего ребенка вы теряете уже с малых лет. Вряд ли он станет вашим другом и будет делиться своими
проблемами в последующие годы.
3-5 очков. Вы вполне ответственны в вопросах воспитания. Ваш ребенок имеет все
шансы вырасти достойным человеком.
6-7 очков. Вы настолько изумительный родитель, что, опасаюсь, отвечали не совсем честно. Ведь идеальных родителей практически не бывает.
WHEN PARENTS ARE TOXIC TO CHILDREN
I sat with a 15-year-old girl in the interview room where I meet psychiatric
inpatients for the first time, watching her as she gazed through her long black hair at her
forearm. She gingerly traced the superficial cuts she had made with a razor the night
before when she had flirted with a suicide.
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Her chart indicated that since the age of 11 she had suffered repeated bouts of
severe depression that antidepressant medication didn’t touch. At times she was
intermittently paranoid, believing that someone was out to steal her mind or even to take
her life.
“I’m not going back there,” she finally said, looking up at me. “I’ll kill myself,
if they make me live with my parents.”
“What happens there?” I asked.
“Constant fighting. Screaming. Swearing. Hitting. It’s been like that my whole
life.”
“Do they hit you?” I asked.
“They used to. A lot. They don’t any more. They hit my brothers, though. And
they keep telling me I’m ugly… and stupid. Worthless.” She looked at her arm. “I don’t
care where I get sent. I’ll go anywhere but home.”
I was certain she would return home. Social service agencies had been involved
in her case for years. No doubt there would be another family meeting during her
hospitalization, perhaps more frequent home visits by a social worker afterward. But the
mental health system’s prejudice in favor of keeping families intact, as well as a perennial
shortage of acceptable foster parents, would likely keep my young patient with her own
parents and in peril.
I have repeatedly treated teenagers like this girl whose biological parents have
inflicted irreparable psychological harm on their children. Some are the victims of sexual
abuse, others of pervasive neglect. They end up in my office with symptoms that include
panic attacks, severe depression and psychosis. Many are addicted to drugs before they
even begin high school. Some see suicide as a reasonable way to end their pain. I
prescribe them a variety of antidepressant, anti-anxiety and sometimes antipsychotic
medications, hoping that their symptoms of mental illness are temporary, but worried that
the damage they have suffered may be permanent. Worst of all I know that these are
preventable illnesses.
Nor does the damage end with them. These teenage patients are tomorrow’s
parents. And experience has repeatedly demonstrated that many of them are likely to
reenact the same destructive scenarios with their own children. Most people who harbor
rage from their childhood don’t expect it to surface after they become parents. Many fail
to see the traumas they survived as sources of great risk for a new generation.
If we are to make a serious attempt to prevent some forms of serious mental
illness, parenting must no longer be seen as an inalienable right, but as a privilege that
87
can – and will – be revoked for abuse or neglect. Society must be much less tolerant of
harm to children and also must be willing to devote considerably more resources to
providing alternative living situations for children and adolescents who are in danger.
Only in the most egregious cases of physical violence or emotional neglect have
I seen the state terminate parental rights. It seems that damage to children must reach the
level of near catastrophe to justify cleaving a parent – child relationship that has been
anything but loving.
Parents need to get a new message. If you do a lousy job parenting, you lose
your job. In cases involving child custody, blood ties must be given less weight not only
by the mental health system, but by the government and the court system. At the federal,
state and local levels, keeping children with their parents can no longer be considered
more important than keeping them safe.
Another young woman I treated had been repeatedly beaten by her older
brothers for years. As a girl she had been raped by her mother’s boyfriend. Her moods
had become erratic, and her temper unpredictable. She had turned to marijuana for relief
and had been expelled from school for fighting. Yet she continued to live at home, with
the blessing of the state Department of Social Services.
“She’s got to get off these damn drugs,” her mother complained in my office.
“That [stuff] has got her all screwed…”
“I’m not gonna listen to you,” the girl interrupted. She turned to me. “This is the
woman who let me get beat on for about 10 years and let her boyfriend sneak into my
bedroom, without her saying two words. How am I supposed to live as a normal human
being with a mother like her?”
Privately I agreed with her. I felt hopeless about the situation myself. I could see
that this girl was trapped in a family that was eroding her emotional resiliency, leaving
her increasingly vulnerable to severe psychiatric illness. And society had to plan to rescue
her from this situation. In fact, it tacitly endorsed it.
One of the difficulties of working as a therapist with adolescents is that they
often clearly perceive the psychological dangers confronting them, but are powerless to
deal with them. It’s no wonder then that such experiences lay the groundwork for panic
attacks, post – traumatic stress disorder, depression and paranoia that seem to come “out
of the blue” later in life. The coping mechanisms of some of the teenagers I treat have
short-circuited already. These patients “dissociate”: They unpredictably enter altered
states of consciousness in which they lose touch with reality.
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One 17-year-old whom I treated for depression asked me plainly: “if you were
me, what would you do to make sure your parents didn’t get you even sicker during the
next year? I mean, if I can get 18, I can leave home, maybe join the Army or something,
and they won’t be able to do anything about it.”
I told him that he needed to be less confrontational in the face of his parents’
unreasonable demands for strict obedience, if only to conserve his emotional energy, not
to mention avoid his father’s belt. “Prisoners of war don’t get in beefs every day with
their captors,” I told him. “They lay low until they can escape.”
Like most of the abusive parents I have met, this young man’s father, for
example, made it clear to me that he too had faced traumas as a young person, including
horrific beatings. He tried to do his best for his son despite severe depression and
alcoholism that limited his ability to function. Doing his best, however, was not nearly
good enough.
This is why a social policy that would raise expectations for healthy parenting and
more frequently and quickly impose the loss of parental rights should include a vigorous
attempt to educate parents on how to avoid harming their children. The loss of parental
rights is a tragedy we should attempt to avoid.
Another key requirement is to recruit good foster families. Too often such families
have not proven to be much better for kids than the homes they have left; sometimes
they are even worse. It makes no sense to take the admittedly drastic step of removing
children from bad biological parents only to place them with bad foster parents.
One 19-year-old woman met recently had spent a decade living in a foster family.
She had been beaten and neglected for the years prior to her placement and, even with
obviously concerned and emphatic foster parents, had required years of psychotherapy to
cope with her traumatic past.
With a support of a new family, however she had achieved in school, shunned
drugs and made close and lasting friendships. She hoped to save money to attend
college. While she considered leaving her biological parents as one of the major stresses
in her life, she made it clear that she would have been much worse staying with them.
“I’m one of the lucky ones,” she said. “I got out.”
The tragedy is that too few children do.
Keith Ablow / Washington Post, May 29, 1996 /
SET WORK
89
I. Define the words and word combinations below. Say how they were used in the
text.
Gingerly, bouts of, intermittently, a perennial shortage of sth., pervasive neglect,
preventable illnesses, an inalienable right, egregious, lousy, erratic moods, to get off
drugs, tacitly, to lay the groundwork for sth., to short-circuit, to confront dangers, in the
face of sb., empathic, to shun.
II. Find in the text the English for:
больные с психическими расстройствами; больничная карта больного; страдать от
регулярно повторяющихся приступов депрессии; сохранить семью; нанести
непоправимый урон психике ребенка; иметь наркотическую зависимость; жертвы
сексуального насилия; получить психологическую травму; затаить злобу; выйти
наружу, проявиться (о чувстве); лишить родительских прав; удерживать детей с
родителями; родительские узы не должны быть такими весомыми; пробраться
тайком; тяжкая депрессия; чрезмерно восприимчивый, уязвимый; ни с того ни с
сего; как гром с ясного неба; непомерные требования; дать кому-то понять, что…;
ужасные избиения; беспрекословное повиновение; избежать порки; нормальное
родительское отношение; до чего-либо; завязать прочную, крепкую дружбу;
изолировать детей от плохих родителей.
III. Explain what is meant by:
to trace the superficial cuts, to flirt with suicide, to steal one’s mind, social service
agencies, panic attacks, to reenact the same destructive scenarios with one’s own
children, to provide alternative living situations, emotional neglect, to be trapped in a
family, to cleave a parent-child relationship, to erode sb’s emotional resiliency, to
conserve one’s emotional energy, abusive parents, placement, to recruit foster families.
IV. State the difference between the words below and illustrate their usage.
Psychologist – psychiatrist;
stepparents – foster parents;
medicine – medication;
arm – forearm;
danger – peril;
to look – to stare – to gaze – to gape – to glare;
paranoia – psychosis;
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to approve (of) – to endorse;
to treat sb. – to treat sb. for sth. – to treat sb. to sth.
V. Expanding Vocabulary
Match each word in column A with its definition in column B. (When in doubt, first
find the word in the essay and look the context clues to aid your understanding of
the word’s meaning. Then, if necessary, use your dictionary to complete the
matching exercise.)
Column A
Column B
Bouts
-dividing, separating
Paranoid
-impossible to repair or fix
Perennial
-quietly, implied rather than stated
Irreparable
-outlines of possible future events
Psychosis
-serious emotional shocks that may
Traumas
result in lasting damage
Inalienable
-notably offensive
Egregious
-contests, matches
Cleaving
-destroying, eating away at
Eroding
-one with a disorder characterized
Resiliency
Tacitly
by delusions of persecution or
grandeur
-ability to recover from serious
problems
-lasting through many years
-what cannot be transferred to
another
-mental disorder marked by
disconnection with reality
and social dysfunction
VI. Interpret the idea and enlarge on it.
1. Some teenagers see suicide as a reasonable way to end their pain.
2. Nor does the damage end with them. These teenage patients are tomorrow’s
parents.
91
3. Many children fail to see the traumas they survived as sources of great risk for a
new generation.
4. Parents need to get a new message. If you do a lousy job parenting, you lose your
job.
5. Yet she continued to live at home, with the blessing of the State Department of
Social Services.
6. She turned to me. “This is the woman who let me get beat on for about 10 years
and let her boyfriend sneak into my bedroom.
7. Society had to plan to rescue her from this situation. In fact, it tacitly endorsed it.
8. One of the difficulties… is that they [children] often clearly perceive the
psychological dangers confronting them, but are powerless to deal with them.
9. The coping mechanisms of some of the teenagers I treat have short-circuited
already.
10.“Prisoners of war don’t get in beefs every day with their captors,” I told him.
11.“I’m one of the lucky ones,” she said. “I got out.” The tragedy is that too few
children do.
VII. Understanding content
1. What is Albow’s subject?
2. For what two reasons are abused children kept with the parents who are abusing
them?
3. What problems do the abused teenagers experience; what are the effects of their
situation? How does Albow treat them?
4. What are long-term effects of abusing children?
5. How do abused adolescents view their situation?
VIII. Points for discussion.
1. Reflect on Albow’s title. What is the key word in his title? What point is he
making about physical and psychological abuse of children?
2. The author provides several examples of abused teenagers; how do the examples
help to advance his argument? Albow begins and ends with extended examples
that include dialogue. What makes these effective ways to begin and end?
3. What, in your view, is the most telling example, detail, or argument in the essay?
Why?
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4. What is Albow’s thesis? What change in policy does he want to see? Where does
he state his thesis? What specific actions are needed to improve the health of
abused children?
DO PARENTS KNOW THEIR KIDS?
The new teen wave is bigger, richer, better educated and healthier than any other in history. But there's a dark side, and too many parents aren't doing their job.
Jocks, preps, punks, Goths, geeks. They may sit at separate tables in the
cafeteria, but they all belong to the same generation. There are now 31 million kids in
the 12-to-19 age group, and demographers predict that there will be 35 million teens by
2010. In many ways, these teens are uniquely privileged. They've grown up in a period
of sustained prosperity. Cable and the Internet have given them access to an almost
infinite amount of information. Most expect to go college, and girls, in particular, nave
unprecedented opportunities; they can dream of careers in everything from professional
sports to politics, with plenty of female role models to follow.
But this positive image of American adolescence is a little
like yearbook photos that depict every kid as nappy and blemish-free.
In survey after survey, many kids say they feel increasingly alone and
alienated, unable to connect with their parents, teachers and
sometimes even classmates. They're desperate for guidance, and
when they don't get what they need at home or in school, they cling
to cliques or immerse themselves in a universe out or their parents'
reach, a world defined by computer games, TV and movies, where brutality is so
common it has become mundane.
Many teens say they feel overwhelmed by pressure and responsibilities. They are
juggling part-time jobs and hours of homework every night; sometimes they're so exhausted that they're nearly asleep in early-morning classes. Half have lived through their
parents' divorce. Sixty-three percent are in households where both parents work outside
the home, and many look after younger siblings in the afternoon. Still others are home by
themselves after school. That unwelcome solitude can extend well into the evening;
mealtime for this generation too often begins with a forlorn touch of the microwave.
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In fact, of all the issues that trouble
adolescents, loneliness ranks at the top of the list.
University of Chicago sociologist Barbara Schneider
has been studying 7,000 teenagers for five years and
has found they spend an average of 3.5 hours alone
everyday. Teenagers may claim they want privacy, but
they also crave and need attention — and they're not
getting it.
In fact, of all the issues that trouble adolescents, loneliness ranks at the top of the
list. University of Chicago sociologist Barbara Schneider has been studying 7,000
teenagers for five years and has found they spend an average of 3.5 hours alone
everyday. Teenagers may claim they want privacy, but they also crave and need attention
— and they're not getting it.
Loneliness creates an emotional vacuum that is filled by an intense peer culture,
a critical buffer against kids' fear of isolation. Some of this bonding is normal and
appropriate; in fact, studies have shown that the human need for acceptance is almost a
biological drive, like hunger. It's especially intense in early adolescence, from about 12
to 14, a time of hyper self-consciousness. They become very self-centered and spend a
lot of time thinking about what others think of them. And when they think about what
others are thinking, they make the error of thinking that everyone is thinking about them.
Dressing alike is a refuge, a way of hiding in the group. When they're 3 and scared, they
cling to a security blanket; at 16, they want body piercing or Abercrombie shirts.
If parents and other adults abdicate power, teenagers come up with their own
rules. Bullying has become so extreme and so common that many teens just accept it as
part of high-school life in the '90s. Emory University psychologist Marshall Duke, an
expert on children's friendships, recently asked 110 students in one of his classes if any
of them had ever been threatened in high school. To his surprise, "they all raised their
hand."
When they're isolated from parents,
teens are also more vulnerable to serious
emotional problems. Surveys of high-school
students have indicated that one in four
considers suicide each year. By the end of
high school, many have actually tried to kill themselves. Often the parents or teachers
don't realize it was a suicide attempt. It can be something ambiguous like an overdose of
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non-prescription pills from the medicine cabinet or getting drunk and crashing the car
with suicidal thoughts.
Even the best, most caring parents can't protect their teenagers from all these
problems, but involved parents can make an enormous difference. Kids do listen.
Teenage drug use (although still high) is slowly declining, and even teen pregnancy and
birthrates are down slightly — largely because of improved education efforts, experts
say. More teens are delaying sex, and those who are sexually active are more likely to
use contraceptives than their counterparts a few years ago.
In the teenage years, the relationship between
parents and children is constantly evolving as the kids edge
toward independence. Early adolescence is a period of
transition, when middle-school kids move from one
teacher and one classroom to a different teacher for each
subject. In puberty, they're moody and irritable. This is a
time when parents and kids bicker a lot.
In middle adolescence, roughly the first three years
of high school, teens are increasingly on their own. To a
large degree, their fives revolve around school and their
friends. They have a healthy sense of self. They begin to
develop a unique sense of identity, as well as their own values and beliefs. The danger in
this time would be to try to force them to be something you want them to be, rather than
help them be who they are. Their relationships may change dramatically as their interests
change; almost three quarters of the closest friends named by seniors weren't even
mentioned during sophomore year.
Late adolescence is another transition, this time to leaving home altogether.
Parents have to be able to let go, and have faith and trust that they've done a good
enough job as parents that their child can handle this stuff.
Parents need to share what they really believe in, what they really think is
important. These basic moral values are more important than math skill or SATs. Seize
any opportunity to talk — in the car, over the breakfast table, watching TV. Parents have
to work harder to get their points across. The kids can't wait.
By Steve Rouge
/From Newsweek, Dec 24, 2004/
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SET WORK
I.
Transcribe the words below and practice their reading.
Cafeteria
Infinite
Unprecedented
Politics
II.
survey
solitude
adolescence
microwave
sophomore
privacy
irritable
clique
mundane
puberty
bully
Abercrombie
Say what you know about:
a. Jocks, preps, punks, Goths, geeks;
b. Cable, the Internet;
c. Body piercing, Abercrombie shirts;
d. SATs;
e. Search engine, chat room.
III. Find in the article the English for:
Но есть и обратная сторона, недостаток; дети в возрасте 12-19 лет; по мнению
демографов,
обладать
уникальной
привилегией;
предоставить
доступ
к
неограниченному количеству информации; чувствовать себя все более и более
одиноким; недостаток, изъян; найти общий язык с...; поддерживать связь с...; опека,
помощь; цепляться за, прибегать к...; недосягаемый для родителей; банальный;
кого-то угнетает давление и обязанности; буквально засыпать на первых парах;
быть
выходцем
из
семьи,
которая...;
одни...,
другие...,
третьи...;
быть
предоставленным самому себе; время приема пищи; из всех проблем, которые
волнуют подростков, первое место занимает одиночество; проводить в среднем 3,5
часа в одиночестве; связь, узы; побуждение, стимул; потребность в том, чтобы тебя
приняли, в тебе нуждались; острая потребность; прибежище; школьная жизнь;
принимать наркотики; быть не с родителями; быть уязвимым; один из четырех;
разбить машину; внести существенное различие; подростковая беременность;
немного снизиться; в основном; сверстники; в подростковом периоде; взрослеть;
продвигаться к зрелости; переходный период; переходить из класса в класс, от
учителя к учителю; поддающийся переменам настроения; грубо говоря; здравая
самооценка; проводить время в компании; ранняя юность.
96
IV. Say how you understand the following lexical units. Reproduce the context in which
they occurred in the article.
Sustained prosperity;
Unprecedented opportunities;
Blemish-free;
To be/feel alienated;
To be desperate for sth.;
To immerse;
To live through sth.;
Sibling;
To go online;
To crave;
Self-consciousness;
To abdicate power;
To come up with sth.;
Ambiguous;
Involved parents; to delay sex;
To evolve;
Middle-school kids;
To bicker;
To get one's points across
V. State the difference between the given words. Give examples to illustrate their
usage.
The amount of – the number of;
To take an opportunity –to seize an opportunity;
Sportsman –jock –fitness freak;
To worry – to trouble – to bother – to disturb;
Mistake – error;
To develop – to evolve.
VI. Fill in the correct preposition. Check against the text.
_ he cafeteria; access_ an almost infinite amount of information; unable to connect_
one's parents; to be desperate_ guidance; to feel overwhelmed_ pressure; nearly
asleep_ early-morning classes; half of them have lived_ their parents' divorce ; sixty
three percent are_ households where both parents work _the home; to rank_ top of the
97
list; the human need _acceptance; teenagers come_ _ their own rules; an expert_
children's friendships; _high school; one_ four consider suicide each year; teen
pregnancy and birthrates are_ slightly;_ the teenage years; to talk_ the breakfast table.
VII. Give synonyms to the words below. Use the words from the article.
Youth, fault, to stick to, to plunge, banal, tired, family, abandoned, to desire, stimulus,
mistake, shelter, sensitive, teenager, TV, to decrease, vague, there are cons, more and
more, all alone, supervision, cruelty, to quarrel, to give up, mostly, annoyed,
individuality, to develop; to cope with.
VIII. Interpret the idea behind the following sentences from the article.
1. The new teen wave is bigger, richer, better educated and healthier than any
other in history.
2. Girls, in particular, have unprecedented opportunities <...>, with plenty of
female role models to follow.
3. But this positive image of American adolescence is a little like yearbook
photos.
4. They (kids) are desperate for guidance.
5. They are juggling part-time jobs and hours of homework every night.
6. Half have lived through their parents' divorce.
7. That unwelcome solitude can extend well into the evening; mealtime for this
generation too often begins with a forlorn touch of the microwave.
8. Loneliness creates an emotional vacuum that is filled by an intense peer
culture, a critical buffer against kids' fear of isolation.
9. When they're 3 and scared, they cling to a security blanket.
10. Kids do listen.
11. Their lives revolve around school and their friends.
12. Parents have to be able to let go.
13. Parents need to share what they really believe in.
14. Parents have to work harder to get their points across.
IX.
Agree or disagree with the given statement. Back up your opinion.
1. Modern teenagers are uniquely privileged.
2. Teens are desperate for guidance.
3. Modern teens are willing to combine work and study.
4. Loneliness ranks at the top of the list of the issues that trouble adolescents.
5. Bullying has become common in high school.
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6. Even the best parents can't protect their teenagers from problems.
X. Points for discussion.
1. How do modern teens differ from their counterparts a few years ago?
2. Should we be against peer culture and teenage movements like the ones
mentioned in the article?
3. Why do some teens choose to dress alike in the group?
4. Is the problem of bullying insoluble?
5. Why do more and more juveniles increasingly contemplate suicide in early
adolescence?
6. Do the ways kids pass their hours mirror their personalities?
7. Is it necessary for kids to have a bonding with their parents?
8. Why don't parents know the kids?
9. Was adolescence a troublesome period of your life?
HIGH ANXIETY SCREWS UP OUR HI-TECHHEAVEN
Welcome to the "anxiety society". New technology, fear of crime and a tyranny of
choice are eroding people's quality of life despite considerable material gains, according
to new research.
While Britons enjoy greater affluence, more advanced healthcare, a safer environment and a wider array of labour-saving gadgets than ever, a range of anxieties is
hampering the growth of true contentment.
Paranoid parenting — one of the worst manifestations of the trend — may even be
slowing children's social and educational development.
The phrase "anxiety society" has been coined by the authors of Complicated Lives.
Michael Willmott and William Nelson of the Future Foundation, a think tank which
advises government ministries and top companies, write: "Massive gains in material
wealth in the past 50 years have not accrued to any significant increase in happiness.
"It's the paradox of progress. Today's generation is richer, healthier, safer and
enjoys more freedom than any in the past, yet life seems more pressured because it is
more complex."
According to figures collated by the Future Foundation, the proportion of people
suffering from "anxiety, depression or bad nerves" has risen from just over 5% to just
under 9% over the past 10 years. About eight in 10 people believe that Britain has
become a more dangerous place over the same period.
99
At the domestic level a wider fear of science is said to be manifested in problems
absorbing the latest technology. According to the book, more than 50% of people are
unable to operate all the features of their video recorder, while nearly 70% of people are
unable to use all the features of their personal computer. Nearly 30% are baffled by
many of the complex manoeuvres offered by their microwave ovens.
"Feature overload" — the problem whereby new gadgets are designed with so
many extras that they are rendered almost impossible to use — is well known to Ben
Jones, 31, an actor from London. Jones, who recently bought a new mobile phone, said:
"The irony of my mobile phone is that I can make a video on it but I can't actually make
a phone call a lot of the time."
In addition to fears about technological advances — brought to life in the Matrix
films — and difficulties using new products, a host of other trends are making people
more anxious, say Willmott and Nelson.
The rise of individualism and increasing specialization in the workplace means that
few people even in the same broad field have a full understanding of what others are
doing.
The blurring boundaries between traditional male and female roles are leading to
confusion, while for others the challenge of organising their leisure time when there is so
much on offer is another unexpected source of stress.
The authors note that now “even boring things are complicated” and can pose grave
financial risks to those who get them wrong. Mundane products such as electricity, gas,
telephones and pensions come with labyrinthine charging structures that can make them
almost impossible to compare. Some companies, they suggest, may deliberately
hoodwink consumers.
In the mobile phone market the number of payment tariffs on offer has multiplied
20-fold in the past seven years. A few years before that, almost none of us even had
mobile phones.
Katie Ackland, 29, an advertising manager from Bristol, recently approached several
companies for finance to buy a car. She said: “The companies used so much complicated
jargon that it was really difficult to compare rates. In the end I had to go to a financial
adviser.”
Another important form of anxiety, indicated by figures gathered by the Future
Foundation, is “paranoid parenting” — the constant worry that children may suffer an
accident, be abducted by strangers or fail to keep up at school.
Three-quarters of parents say they would like an electronic bracelet to let them know
100
where their children were, while four out of 10 would like a videolink to their child's
classroom.
While most pensioners say that when children, they were allowed by their parents to
walk to school without an adult by the age of six, in the 1990s children were waiting
until after their ninth birthday to do so.
Diana Appleyard, 42, a writer from Oxfordshire, admitted to being an over-protective
mother to her two daughters Beth, 15, and Charlotte, 10. She said: "I don't give them the
freedom I had at that age. I don't allow them to use public transport themselves; I take
them in the car and make sure they have a mobile phone so I can contact them at all
time.
"My daughters think I am paranoid but I would never forgive myself if something
happened. Even if I give Charlotte permission to play in the field I am often lurking
behind bushes to make sure everything is okay."
Professor Frank Furedi of the University of Kent, who wrote a book, Paranoid
Parenting, published in 2001, said: "Parental behaviour is changing. Parents are
extremely worried about what their children eat, and obsessed about their kids'
education.
"If little Mary doesn't do as well as the rest of the class, it's not "she'll do better next
time" but a cause for serious concern."
John Lurks
/ From The Sunday Times, Sep 21, 2005. /
SET WORK
I.
Learn the pronunciation of the words below. Translate them into Russian.
Heaven, affluence, array, parenting, complicated, accrue, collate, manoeuvre,
matrix, advance, increase (n), microwave ovens, blurring, pose, mundane, labyrinthine,
consumer, obedience, paranoid, charging structures, a financial adviser, an electronic
bracelet.
II.
Explain what is meant by:
To screw up, to erode sth., to enjoy affluence, labour-saving gadgets, to hamper
the growth of sth., to coin a phrase, a think tank, a top company, to collate, to be
manifested, to be baffled, whereby, to multiply, technological advances, to bring sth. to
life, a host of, to hoodwink consumers, challenge, jargon, to keep up at school, an
101
overprotective mother, to lurk behind bushes.
III.
Look through the article for the following English equivalents of:
Высокотехнологический;
доходы;
удовлетворенность;
воспитание,
родительская опека; проявления тенденции; способствовать; “мозговой центр”,
комиссия
экспертов;
напряженный;
иметь
большую
свободу
действий;
процентное соотношение; растущий страх перед возможностями науки; за
последние 10 лет; 8 из 10; не способен использовать 70% всех функций
компьютера; приводить в указанное состояние; самое смешное это то, что…;
когда так много предлагается; рабочее место; представлять большой риск для клибо; вести к путанице; возрасти в 20 раз; рекламный агент; обыденный;
умышленно; обратиться в компанию; процентная ставка; с ребенком может чтонибудь случиться; связаться с кем-либо; учиться лучше, чем кто-либо.
IV.
State the difference between the following words. Give examples to
illustrate their usage.
Anxiety– worry– alarm– concern;
complicated– complex;
device– gadget;
continual– constant–continuous.
V.
Say how you understand:
anxiety society, a tyranny of choice, material gains, advanced healthcare, paranoid
parenting, social/educational development, bad nerves, feature overload, gadgets with
extras, mobile phone.
VI.
Say what you know about:
The Future Foundation, the Matrix films, Complicated Lives, Britons, the
University of Kent.
VII.
Fill in the correct preposition. Check against the article.
1. Massive gains _ material wealth _ the past 50 years have not accrued _ any
significant increase _ happiness.
2. About eight _ 10 people believe that Britain has become a more dangerous
place _ the same period.
3. … for others the challenge of organising their leisure time when there is so
much _ offer is another source of stress.
4. … and can pose grave financial risks _ those who get them wrong.
5. _ the mobile phone market the number of payment tariffs _ offer has
multiplied 20-fold _ the past seven years.
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6. Four out of 10 parents would like a videolink _ their child’s classroom.
7. "I take them _ car".
8. Lots of parents are obsessed _ their kid’s education.
9. She admitted _ being an overprotective mother _ her two daughters.
10. "Even if I give her permission to play _ the field I am often lurking _
bushes".
VIII.
State the idea behind the lines below.
1. A range of anxieties is hampering the growth of true contentment.
2. Life seems more pressured because it is more complex.
3. At the domestic level a wider fear of science is said to be manifested in
problems absorbing the latest technology.
4. "Feature overload" — the problem whereby new gadgets are designed with
so many extras that they are rendered almost impossible to use.
5. The rise of individualism and increasing specialization in the workplace means
that few people even in the same broad field have a full understanding
of
what others are doing.
6. The blurring boundaries between traditional male and female roles are
leading to confusion.
7. "If little Mary doesn't do as well as the rest of the class, it's not "she'll do better
next time" but a cause for serious concern."
IX.
Comment on the choice of the headline, sum up the key points of the article
and formulate the author's thesis.
X.
Points for discussion.
1. Does the author of the article play up the problems of modern society or is
he quite reasonable?
2. What is in the author's opinion the paradox of progress?
3. Have the hi-tech achievements made people happier?
4. Are modern gadgets too complex indeed? Should devices have extra
functions they can actually do without? (say, a phone with an in-built camera).
5. Is modern life stressful? What makes it unnerving?
6. Are parents' fear well-grounded or are they going paranoiac indeed?
7. How do you find the idea of
a) an electronic bracelet allowing parents to trace their child;
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b) a videolink to the child's classroom;
с) peeping at your child from the bushes;
d) controlling your child's choice of food;
e) attaching too much attention to the child's academic achievement.
A NATION OF WIMPS
Parents are going to ludicrous lengths to take the bumps out of life for their
children.However; parental hyperconcern has the net effect of making kids more fragile;
that may be why they are breaking down in record numbers. Maybe it’s the cyclist in the
park, trim under his sleek metallic blue helmet, cruising along the dirt path…at three
miles an hour. On his tricycle. Or perhaps it’s today’s playground, all-rubber-cushioned
surface where kids used to skin their knees. And…wait a minute…those aren’t little kids
playing. Their mommies – and especially daddies – are in there with them, coplaying or
play-by-play coaching. Few take it half-easy on the perimeter benches, as parents used to
do, letting the kids figure things out for themselves.
Then there are the sanitizing gels, with which over a third of parents now send
their kids to school, according to a recent survey. Presumably, parents now worry that
school bathrooms are not good enough for their children.
Consider the teacher new to an upscale suburban town. Shuffling through the
sheaf of reports certifying theucational “accommodations” he was required to make for
many of his history students, he was struck by the exhaustive, well-written and obviously
costly-one on behalf of a girl who was already proving among the most competent of his
ninth-graders. «She’s somewhat neurotic,” he confides, «but she is bright, organized and
conscientious – the type who’d get to school to turn in a paper on time, even if she was
dying of stomach flu.”He finally found the disability he was to make allowances for:
difficulty with Gestalt thinking. The 13-year-old “couldn’t see the big picture.” That
cleverly devised defect (what 13-year-old can construct the big one at the end of the
rainbow, the college-worthy SAT.
Behold the wholly sanitized childhood, without skinned knees or the occasional
C in history. “Kids need to feel badly sometimes,” says child psychologist David Elkind,
professor at Tufts University. “We learn through experience and we learn through bad
experiences. Through failure we learn how to cope.”
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Messing up, however, even in the playground, is wildly out of style. Although
error and experimentation are the true mothers of success, parents are taking pains to
remove failure from the equation.
“Life is planned out for us,” says Elise Kramer, a Cornell University junior. “But
we don’t know what to want.” As Elkind puts it; “Parents and schools are no longer
geared toward child development, they’re geared to academic achievement.”
No one doubts that there are significant economic forces pushing parents to
invest so heavily in their children’s outcome from an early age. But taking all the
discomfort, disappointment and even the play out of development, especially while
increasing pressure for success, turns out to be misguided by just about 180 degrees.
With few challenges all their own, kids are unable to forget their creative adaptations to
the normal vicissitudes of life. That not only makes them risk-averse, it makes them
psychologically fragile, riddled with anxiety. In the process they’re robbed of identity,
meaning and a sense of accomplishment, to say nothing of a shot at real happiness.
Forget, too, about perseverance, not simply a moral virtue but a necessary life skill.
These turn out to be the spreading psychic fault lines of 21st-century youth. Whether we
want to or not, we’re on our way to creating a nation of wimps.
The Fragility Factor
College, it seems, is where the fragility factor is now making its greatest mark. It’s
where intellectual and developmental tracks converge as the emotional training wheels
come off. By all accounts, psychological distress is rampant on college campuses. It
takes a variety of forms, including anxiety and depression – which areincre3asingly
regarded as two faces of the same coin-binge drinking and substance abuse, selfmultilation and other forms of disconnection. The mental state of students is now so
precarious for so many that, says Steven Hyman, provost of Harvard University and
former director of the National Institute of Mental Health, “it is interfering with the core
mission of the university.”
The severity of student mental health problems has been rising since 1988,
according to an annual survey of counseling center directors. Through 1996, the most
common problems raised by students were relationship issues. That is developmentally
appropriate, reports Sherry Benton, assistant director of counseling at Kansas State
University. But in 1996, anxiety overtook relationship concerns and has remained the
major problem. The University of Michigan Depression Center, the nation’s first,
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estimates that 15 percent of college students nationwide are suffering from that disorder
alone.
Relationship problems haven’t gone away; their nature has dramatically shifted
and the severity escalated. Colleges report ever more cases of obsessive pursuit,
otherwise known as stalking, leading to violence, even death. Anorexia or bulimia in
florid or subclinical form now afflicts 40 percent of women at some time in their college
career. Eleven weeks into a semester, reports psychologist Russ Federman, head of
counseling at the University of Virginia, “all appointment slots are filled. But the
students don’t stop coming.”
Drinking, too, has changed. Once a means of social lubrication, it has acquired a
darker, more desperate nature. Campuses nationwide are reporting record increases in
binge drinking over the past decade, with students often stuporous in class, if they get
there at all. Psychologist Paul E. Joffe, chair of the suicide prevention team at the
University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, contends that at bottom binge-drinking is a
quest for authenticity and intensity of experience. It gives young people something all
their own to talk about, and sharing stories about the path to passing out is a primary
purpose. It’s an inverted world in which drinking to oblivion is the way to feel connected
and alive.
“There is a ritual every university administrator has come to fear,” reports John
Portmann, professor of religious studies at the University of Virginia. “Every fall,
parents drop off their well-groomed freshmen and within two or three days many have
consumed a dangerous amount of alcohol and placed themselves in harm’s way. These
kids have been controlled for so long, they just go crazy.”
Heavy drinking has also become the quickest and easiest way to gain acceptance,
says psychologist Bernardo J. Carducci, professor at Indiana University Southeast and
founder of its Shyness Research Institute. “Much of collegiate social activity is centered
on alcohol consumption because it’s an anxiety reducer and demands no social skills,”
he says. “Plus it provides an instant identity; it lets people know that you are willing to
belong.”
Welcome to the Hothouse
Talk to a college president or administrator and you’re almost certainly bound to
hear tales of the parents who call at 2am to protest Branden’s C in economics because
it’s going to damage his shot at grad school. Shortly after psychologist Robert Epstein
announced to his university students that he expected them to work hard and would hold
106
them to high standards, he heard from a parent – on official judicial stationery – asking
how he could dare mistreat the young. Epstein, former editor in chief of Psychology
Today, eventually filed a complaint with the California Commission on judicial
misconduct, and the judge was censured for abusing his office – but not before he
created havoc in the psychology department at the University of California San Diego.
Grade Inflation
When he took over as president of Harvard in July 2001, Lawrence Summers
publicly ridiculed the value of honors after discovering that 94 percent of the college’s
seniors were graduating with them. Safer to lower the bar than raise the discomfort level.
Grade inflation is the institutional response to parental anxiety about school demands on
children, contends social historian Peter Stearns of George Mason University. As such, it
is a pure index of emotional overinvestment in a child’s success. And it rests on a notion
of juvenile frailty – the Stearns argues in his book, Anxious Parenting: A History of
Modern Childrearing in America.
Parental protectionism may reach its most comic excesses in college, but it
doesn’t begin there. Primary schools and high schools are arguably just as guilty of grade
inflation. But if you are searching for someone to blame, consider Dr. Seuss. “Parents
have told their kids from day one that there’s no end to what they are capable of doing,”
says Virginia’s Portmann.
“They read them the Dr. Seuss book Oh, the Places You’ll Go! And create bumper
stickers telling the world their child is an honor student. American parents today expect
their children to be perfect – the smartest, fastest, most charming people in the universe.
And if they can’t get the children to prove it on their own, they’ll turn to doctors to make
their kids into the people that parents want to believe their kids are.”
What they’re really doing, he stresses, is “showing kids how to work the system
for their own benefit.”
And subjecting them to intense scrutiny. “I wish my parents had some hobby
other than me,” one young patient told David Anderegg, a child psychologist in Lenox,
Massachusetts, and professor of psychology at Bennington College. Anderegg finds that
anxious parents are hyperattentive to their kids, reactive to every blip of their child’s
day, eager to solve every problem for their child – and believe that’s good parenting. “If
you have an infant and the baby has gas, burping the baby is being a good parent. But
when you have a 10-year-old who has metaphoric gas, you don’t have to burp him. You
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have to let him sit with it; try to figure out what to do about it. He then learns to tolerate
moderate amounts of difficulty, and it’s not the end of the world.”
Playtime
In the hothouse that child raising has become, play is all but dead. Over 40,000
U.S. schools no longer have recess. And what play there is has been corrupted. The
organized sports many kids participate in are managed by adults; difficulties that arise
are not worked out by kids but adjudicated by adult referees.
“So many toys now are designed by and for adults,” says Tufts’ Elkind. When
kids do engage in their own kind of play, parents become alarmed. Anderegg points to
kids exercising time-honored curiosity by playing doctor.
Kids are having a hard time even playing neighborhood pick-up games because
they’ve never done it, observes Barbara Carlson, president and cofounder of Putting
Families First. “They’ve been told by their coaches where on the field to stand, told by
their parents what color socks to wear, told by the referees who’s won and what’s fair.
Kids are losing leadership skills.”
A lot has been written about the commercialization of children’s play, but not the
side effects, says Elkind. “Children aren’t getting any benefits out of play as they once
did.” From the beginning play helps children learn how to control themselves, how to
interact with others. Contrary to the widely held belief that only intellectual activities
build a sharp brain, it’s in play that cognitive agility really develops. Studies of children
and adults around the world demonstrate that social engagement actually improves
intellectual skills. It fosters decision-making, memory and thinking, speed of mental
processing. This shouldn’t come as a surprise. After all, the human mind is believed to
have evolved to deal with social problems.
The Eternal Umbilicus
It’s bad enough that today’s children are raised in a psychological hothouse
where they are overmonitored and oversheltered.But that hothouse no longer has
geographical or temporal boundaries. For that you can thank the cell phone. Even in
college – or perhaps especially at college – students are typically in contact with their
parents several times a day, reporting every flicker of experience. One long-distance call
overheard on a recent cross-campus walk: “Hi, Mom. I just got an ice-cream cone; can
you believe they put sprinkles on the bottom as well as on top?”
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“Kids are constantly talking to parents,” laments Cornell student Kramer, which
makes them perpetually homesick. Of course, they’re not telling the folks everything,
notes Portmann. “They’re not calling their parents to say, ‘I really went wild last Friday
at the frat house and now I might have Chlamydia. Should I go to the student health
center?’”
The perpetual access to parents infantilizes the young, keeping them in a
permanent state of dependency. Whenever the slightest difficulty arises, “they’re
constantly referring to their parents for guidance,” reports Kramer. They’re not learning
how to manage for themselves.
Think of the cell phone as the eternal umbilicus. One of the ways we grow up is
by internalizing an image of Mom and Dad and the values and advice they imparted over
the early years. Then, whenever we find ourselves faced with uncertainty or difficulty,
we call on that internalized image. We become, in a way, all the wise adults we’ve had
the privilege to know. “But cell phones keep kids from figuring out what to do,” says
Anderegg. “They’ve never internalized any images; all they’ve internalized is ‘call Mom
and Dad.’”
Some psychologists think we have yet to recognize the full impact of the cell
phone on child development, because its use is so new. Although there are far too many
variables to establish clear causes and effects, Indiana’s Carducci believes that reliance
on cell phones undermines the young by destroying the ability to plan ahead. “The first
thing students do when they walk out the door of my classroom is flip open the cell
phone. Ninety-five percent of the conversations go like this: ‘Absent the phone, you’d
have to make arrangements ahead of time; you’d have to think ahead.”
Herein lies another possible pathway to depression. The ability to plan resides in
the prefrontal cortex (PFC), the executive branch of the brain. The PFC is a critical part
of the self-regulation system, and it’s deeply implicated in depression, a disorder
increasingly seen as caused or maintained by unregulated thought patterns – lack of
intellectual rigor, if you will. Cognitive therapy owes its very effectiveness to the
systematic application of critical thinking to emotional reactions. Further, it’s in the
setting of goals and progress in working toward them, however mundane they are, that
positive feelings are generated. From such everyday activity, resistance to depression is
born.
What’s more, cell phones – along with the instant availability of cash and almost
any consumer good your heart desires – promote fragility by weakening self-regulation.
“You get used to things happening right away,” says Carducci. You not only want the
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pizza now, you generalize that expectation to other domains, like friendship and intimate
relationships. You become frustrated and impatient easily. You become unwilling to
work out problems. And so relationships fail perhaps the single most powerful
experience leading to depression.
Hara Estroff Marano
/from Psychology Today/
SET WORK
I. Explain what is meant by the words and word combinations below. Say
how they were used in the article.
- to go to ludicrous lengths to do sth;
- to cruise;
- sanitizing gel;
- an upscale town;
- to be riddled with anxiety;
- self-mutilation;
- precarious;
- to be rampant;
- severity;
- stalking;
- anorexia/bulimia;
- stuporous;
- to pass out;
- collegiate;
- to drop off;
- to hold sb to high standards;
- to be censured;
- school demands on children;
- parental protectionism;
- for sb’s own benefit;
- every blip of sb’s day;
- to burp a baby;
- recess;
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- to adjudicate;
- leadership skills;
- to play neighbourhood pick-up games;
- to build a sharp brain;
- to evolve;
- social engagement;
- every flicker of experience;
- frat house;
- to lament;
- to manage for oneself;
- variables;
- to flip open the cell phone;
- prefrontal cortex;
- to work toward a goal;
- to work out problem.
II. Find in the article the English for:
в чрезмерно огромных количествах; содрать коленку; сдать вовремя
работу; связка, пачка; учиться на опыте; на ошибках учатся; прилагать
огромные усилия; быть нацеленным на что-либо; сделать скидку на чтолибо, взять в расчет; превратности жизни; с «тонкой» психикой; попытка
быть счастливым; усердие; психологические срывы; ректор; принимать
разнообразные формы; отрешение; токсикомания; по общим подсчетам;
природа чем-либо изменилась коренным образом; кутеж, пьянка; пить до
состояния забытья; в глубине души; потребление алкоголя; подать в суд
на кого-либо; окончить колледж с отличием; утверждать, заявлять;
ранимость подростков; что-то может принимать комическое обличие,
формы; уделять детям чрезмерноповышенное внимание; подвергать
тщательному обследованию; хорошее родительское отношение; вопреки
общепринятому мнению; гибкость; способствовать умению принимать
решение; чрезмерно опекать своих детей; все время скучать по дому;
способствовать инфантильности; незначительная трудность; обращаться
к
родителям
за
помощью;
планировать
заранее;
накапливать
положительные эмоции; мороженое в конусообразном вафельном
стаканчике.
III. State the idea behind the lines below and enlarge on it.
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1. It’s today’s playground, all-rubber-cushioned surface where kids used to
skin their knees.
2. Few take it half-easy on the perimeter benches, as parents used to do,
letting the kids figure things out for themselves.
3. Consider the teacher new to an upscale suburban town.
4. He finally found the disability he was to make allowances for: difficulty
with Gestalt thinking.
5. That cleverly devised defect would allow her to take all her tests
untimed, especially the big one at the end of the rainbow, the collegeworthy SAT.
6. Behold the wholly sanitized childhood, without skinned knees or the
occasional C in history.
7. With few challenges all their own, kids are unable to forgo their creative
adaptations to the normal vicissitude of life.
8. In the process, they’re robbed of identity, meaning and a sense of
accomplishment, to say nothing of a shot at real happiness.
9. These turn out to be the spreading psychic fault lines of 21 st-century
youth.
10. It’s where intellectual and developmental tracks converge as the
emotional training wheels come off.
11. It takes a variety of forms, including anxiety and depression – which
are increasingly regarded as two faces of the same coin – binge drinking
and substance abuse, self-mutilation and other forms of disconnection.
12. Drinking, too, has changed. Once a means of social lubrication, it has
acquired a darker, more desperate nature.
13. At bottom binge-drinking is a quest for authenticity and intensity of
experience.
14. Heavy drinking is an anxiety reducer and demands no social skills.
15. Talk to a college president or administrator and you’re almost certainly
bound to hear tales of the parents who call at 2 am to protest Branden’s
C in economics because it’s going to damage his shot at grad school.
16. Safer to lower the bar than raise the discomfort level.
17. In the hothouse that child raising has become, play is all but dead.
18. “Hi, Mom. I just got an ice-cream cone; can you believe they put
sprinkles on the bottom as well as on top?”
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19. Think of the cell phone as the eternal umbilicus.
20. Whenever we find ourselves faced with uncertainty or difficulty, we
call on that internalized image.
21.The PFC is a critical part of the self-regulation system, and it’s deeply
implicated in depression, a disorder increasingly seen as caused or
maintained by unregulated thought patterns-lack of intellectual rigor, if
you will.
22. Cell phones – along with the instant availability of cash and almost any
consumer good your heart desires – promote fragility by weakening
self-regulation.
IV. Translate the sentences below using the words under study:
1.
Дети с «тонкой» психикой плачут не только из-за содранной коленки. 2.
Соседка жалуется, что ее сын-подросток часто пьет до состояния забытья. 3.
Вопреки общепринятому мнению, чрезмерное опекание ребенка чревато
серьезными последствиями. 4. Родитель одного из студентов подал в суд на
ректора колледжа. 5. За последние десять лет природа детских игр изменилась
коренным образом. 6. Журналист утверждал, что человек, у которого он взял
интервью, окончил с отличием два ВУЗа. 7. Чрезмерная родительская защита
ребенка от окружающего мира способствует развитию инфантильности у
подростка. 8. Хорошо, когда ребенок может сам позаботиться о себе и способен
принимать здравые решения. 9. Нельзя отрицать, что требования, которые
современная школа возлагает на учащегося, весьма высокие. 10. По общим
подсчетам, количество психологических срывов среди подростков неуклонно
растет. 11. Когда я путешествую, я все время скучаю по дому. 12. Некоторые
дети обращаются к родителям даже в случае незначительной трудности. 13. Джек
из кожи вон лезет, чтобы похвастаться своей новой Моторолой, поэтому он все
время ее демонстративно открывает и кому-нибудь звонит. 14. Депрессия может
принимать разнообразные формы. 15. Многие люди пытаются противостоять
превратностям жизни. 16. И взрослые, и дети обожают мороженое в вафельных
стаканчиках. 17. Охваченные тревогой родители приложили все усилия, чтобы
вылечить дочь от токсикомании. 18. Когда человек твердо идет к намеченной
цели, он ее добивается.
V. Scan the article for different equivalents of “чрезмерно опекать”,
“родительская опека”.
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VI. Points for discussion:
1. What did the author have in mind by giving the article such a title?
2. Why are parents and schools no longer geared toward child
development?
3. Is psychological distress rampant on college campuses indeed?
4. What kind of anxiety has overtaken colleges recently?
5. What do kids do to shake off stress? How do parents and colleges
respond to it?
6. What does the author mean by the commercialization of children’s play?
7. Why do adults increasingly interfere in child’s play or supervise it?
8. Is the author for or against children’s using cell-phones?
9. What is, in the author’s opinion, parents’ overmonitoring and
oversheltering of children fraught with?
10.Do you share the author’s stand on the problem?
THE WAITER WAS WIRED
Indian parents hire spies to tail their rebellious kids
A way at medical school, 23-year-old Swati Mohan (not her real name) reveled in
her new-found freedom. She drank, experimented with drugs and engaged in premarital
sex – all big taboos for someone raised in a traditional Indian family. Best of all, her
wealthy parents knew nothing. Or so she thought. When her stellar grades started
slipping, word filtered back to her father, a timber merchant in New Delhi. He promptly
hired a private eye to investigate her. Before long, her parents had a detailed dossier –
complete with lurid pictures – revealing the full extent of her partying. “She was running
round with boys and her behavior was beyond the norms of our society,” says Swati’s
mom, Priya Mohan. “I was depressed. We’re a modern family but still traditional. We
worried about her reputation – our reputation.”
In India’s enduring culture of arranged marriages, a resume sullied by even a
few indiscretions can scupper chances of a good match. So more and more parents have
begun turning to private detectives to keep tabs on their wayward children. Indeed,
rebelliousness is on the rise; India’s first MTV generation is taking full advantage of the
explosion of parties, bars and Internet chat rooms that have emerged over the past decade
as the country has opened up. “We’re in the middle of a rapid transition,” says Jitendra
Nagpal, consultant psychiatrist at Delhi’s Child Development Center. “We see upperand middle-class parents increasingly being deceived and cheated by their children.”
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That’s good news for India’s burgeoning private-detective industry. So far, there
are about 100 agencies nationwide, mostly in the big cities. Already 40 percent of their
revenue comes from checking out prospective partners for arranged marriages; a high
price is still attached to a woman’s unblemished reputation. “This isn’t a ‘courtship
culture’ where young people try a combination of partners until they find the right one,”
says Patricia Uberoi, a sociologist at Delhi’s Institute of Economic Growth. “Men still
expect to marry virgins.”
And parents are increasingly determined to provide them. Each agency now
handles as many as a dozen cases of parental spying every month. Detectives tail kids
from the moment they leave home or their dormitory. Spies have been known to pose as
waiters in bars, or as DJs’ assistants in dance clubs. And at ritzy parties they’ve obtained
photographic evidence by pretending to be couples snapping candids. Proof of partying
doesn’t come cheap; $ 1,000 weekly fees are standard. “But when I point out what they
spend on their child’s education and marriage, they accept it’s a small price to pay to
protect their investment.”
The choice is a risky one. Most private detectives warn parents against revealing
that they have monitored their children – no matter how explosive the evidence. Some
kids find out anyway – either from parents unable to contain their rage or through the
detectives’ ineptitude. One 19-year-old Muslim girl from Bangalore, who fled home
after two years of family counseling failed, moved in with an older girl to escape the
nightly 7:30 curfew her parents imposed. Private detectives tailed her none too discreetly
for eight months after her parents became convinced, wrongly, that she was having a
lesbian affair. Reconciliation proved futile. “It’s a very dangerous strategy”, says Brinda
Adige, who runs the Bangalore-based Children’s Help Line. “It’s a huge betrayal of trust
by the parents. There’s no way back once the child knows their parents have paid
someone to follow them.”
But it can also be surprisingly effective. Rajan Maheshwari (not his real name)
became alarmed about his only son, who regularly rolled home at 4 am and slept until
midday. Detectives found that Rajesh, 23, had hooked up with a divorcee he had met at a
nightclub. They’d get drunk and go to her apartment. Heeding advice not to confront his
son, Maheshwari asked the agency to check out the woman. An illegal phone tap and
surveillance of her apartment revealed that she had two other lovers. After his father
showed Rajesh the pictures and played him the tapes, he backed off immediately. As for
Swati Mohan, after she was challenged by her anxious parents, she began behaving more
demurely. They know, because they sent the detectives back twice in the past eight
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months. She may be oblivious. But her mom and dad have joined the legions of Indian
parents who refuse to be left in the dark.
Ian Mackinnon
/Newsweek, July 14, 2003/
SET WORK
I.
Practice the pronunciation of the words below.
Dossier, resume, scupper, lurid, increasingly, curfew, surveillance, merchant,
divorcee.
II.
Define the words and word combinations below. Say how
they were used in the article:
- to tail sb;
- to revel in sth;
- to run round with sb;
- to scupper chances of sth;
- lurid pictures;
- to keep tabs on sb;
- to take full advantage of sth;
- upper- and middle-class parents;
- to check sb out;
- increasingly;
- to handle a case;
- dormitory;
- ritzy parties;
- ineptitude;
- to snap candids;
- to monitor sb
- to impose a curfew on sb;
- futile;
- to hook up with sb;
- to back off;
- surveillance of sb’s apartment;
- to heed advice;
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- to be oblivious.
II.
Find in the article the English for:
непослушный, своенравный ребенок; жить половой жизнью до брака; до ее отца
дошли слухи, что …; отражать размах чьего-л. кутежа, гуляний; опрометчивый
поступок; запачкать, запятнать; сбившийся с пути подросток; неуклонно
возрастать; за последние десять лет; попасть в быстрый переходный период;
обманывать, дурить кого-л.; быстроразвивающаяся репутация; родительская
слежка; маскироваться под …; что-то необходится дешево; стандартный гонорар;
сдержать гнев; переехать к кому-л.; убежать из дома; подрыв доверия со стороны
детей; разведенный/ая; навести справки о ком-л; продемонстрировать пленку с
записью; «жучек» в телефоне; обеспокоенные, встревоженные родители;
пребывать в неведении; вести себя боле сдержанно, скромно.
III.
Give the synonyms to the words below. Use the words
under study:
to spy on sb; to enjoy; to get mixed with sb; sensational; to use to the full; to
supervise; fruitless; to give up; inefficiency; more and more; wilful; to spot; to
deceive; to disguise oneself as; to hold down one’s anger; to be unaware of
sth; modestly; a phone bug.
IV.
Fill in the correct preposition. Check against the article.
1. A high price is still attached _ a woman’s unblemished reputation.
2. “She was running _ with boys and her behaviour was way beyond the
norms of our society.”
3. More and more parents have begun turning _ private detectives to spy _
on their children.
4. Most private detectives warn parents _ revealing that they have
monitored their children.
5. Indeed, rebelliousness is _ the rise.
6. Away _ medical school, 23-year-old Swati Mohan revealed _ her
newfound freedom.
7. When her stellar grades started slipping, word filtered _ _ her father, he
promptly hired a private eye.
8. Parties, bars and Internet chat rooms that have emerged _ the past
decade as the country has opened _.
9. Rajan Maheshwari became alarmed _ his only son.
10. They sent the detectives back twice _ the past eight months.
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11. Detectives found that Rajesh, 23, had hooked _ with a divorcee.
12. “But when I point _ what they spend _ their child’s education and
marriage …”
13. After his father showed Rajesh the pictures and played him the tapes,
he backed _ immediately.
14. Some children find out anyway _ either from parents or _ the
detectives’ ineptitude.
VI. a) Scan the article for all possible variants of the Russian “следить за
кем-то”. Account for their semantic difference.
b) Specify the difference: a detective – a private eye
VII. Say what is meant by:
- a wired waiter;
-
newfound freedom;
-
an arranged marriage;
-
big taboos;
-
sb’s stellar grades started slipping;
- a timber merchant;
- a traditional/modern family;
- India’s enduring culture;
- the explosion of parties;
- the country has opened up;
- prospective partners;
- a “courtship culture”;
- explosive evidence;
- to pose as a waiter;
- none too discreetly;
- family counseling;
- a huge betrayal;
- to roll home at 4 am;
- sb. was challenged.
VIII. Sum up the article.
IX. Points for discussion:
1. Why is kid rebelliousness on the rise in India? What was it conditioned
by?
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2. Why do the Indians attach a lot of significance to their families’
reputation?
3. Is it a good idea to hire a private eye to tail your rebellious kid? Can this
decision backfire on you?
4. What are parents to do as soon as they have found out some shocking
facts concerning their children’s lives?
5. Does the journalist take sides regarding parental spying?
6. Would you object to your child’s premarital sex? Would you step in if
your child had a gay/lesbian affair? Would you intervene if your child
had hooked up with a divorcee/a person who is too young/old for your
offspring?
7. Would you like to be in the know of your child’s private life or would
you agree to be left in the dark?
8. How do you look upon arranged/shotgun marriage?
CHILD NEGLECT AND ABUSE
Children can be mistreated by having essential things withheld from them (neglect)
or by having harmful things done to them (abuse). Neglect involves not meeting
children’s basic needs: physical, medical, educational, and emotional. Emotional neglect
is a part of emotional abuse. Abuse can be physical, sexual, or emotional. The different
forms of abuse sometimes occur together. Child neglect and abuse often occur together
and with other forms of family violence, such as spousal abuse. In addition to immediate
harm, neglect and abuse cause long-lasting problems, including mental health problems
and substance abuse. Also, adults who were sexually or mentally abused as children are
more likely to abuse their own children.
In the United States, more than 800,000 children are neglected or abused every
year, and about 1,100 of them die. Neglect is about 3 times more common than physical
abuse. Neglect and abuse result from a complex combination of individual, family and
social factors. Being a single parent, being poor, having problems with drug or alcohol
abuse, or having a mental health problem (such as a personality disorder or low selfesteem) can make a parent mire likely to neglect or abuse a child. Neglect is 12 times
more common among children living in poverty.
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Doctors and nurses are required by law to promptly report cases of suspected child
neglect or abuse to a local Child Protective Services agency. Depending on the
circumstances, the local law enforcement agency may also be notified. Prompt reporting
is also required from all people whose job places children younger than 18 in their care.
Such people include teachers, childcare workers, and police and legal services personnel.
Anyone else who knows of or suspects neglect or abuse is encouraged to report it but is
not required to do so. All reported cases of child abuse are investigated by
representatives of the Local Child Protective Services agency, who determine the facts
and make recommendations. Agency representatives may recommend social services
(for the child and family members), temporary hospitalization, temporary foster care, or
permanent termination of parental rights. Doctors and social workers help the
representatives from The Child Protective Services agency decide what to do based on
the immediate medical needs of the child, the seriousness of the harm, and the likelihood
of further neglect or abuse. There are a number of different types of child neglect and
abuse.
Physical Neglect. Not meeting a child’s essential needs for food, clothing, and
shelter is the most basic form of neglect. But there are many other forms. Parents may
not obtain preventive dental or medical care for the child, such as vaccinations and
routine physical examinations. Parents may delay obtaining medical care when the child
is ill, putting the child at risk of more severe illness and even death. Parents may not
make sure the child attends school or is privately schooled. Parents may leave a child in
the care of a person who is known to be abusive, or may leave a young child unattended.
Physical Abuse. Physically mistreating or harming a child, including inflicting
excessive physical punishment, is physical abuse. Children of any age may be physically
abused, but infants and toddlers are particularly vulnerable. Physical abuse is the most
common cause of serious head injury in infants. In toddlers, physical abuse is more
likely to result in abdominal injuries, which may be fatal. Physical abuse (including
homicide) is among the 10 leading causes of death in children. Generally, a child’s risk
of physical abuse decreases during the early school years and increases during
adolescence.
Most perpetrators of physical abuse are males known by the children. Children who
are born in poverty to a young, single parent are at highest risk. Family stress contributes
to physical abuse. Stress may result from unemployment, frequent moves to another
home, social isolation from friends or family members, or ongoing family violence.
Children who are difficult (irritable, demanding, hyperactive, or handicapped) often
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triggered by a crisis in the midst of other stresses. A crisis may be a loss of a job, a death
in the family, a discipline problem, or even a toileting accident.
Sexual Abuse. Any action with a child that is for the sexual gratification of an adult
or a significantly older child is considered sexual abuse. It includes penetrating the
child’s body, touching the child with sexual intention but without penetration, exposing
the intimate parts of the body, showing pornography to a child, and using a child in the
production of pornography.
By the age of 18, about 12 to 25% of girls and 8 to 10% of boys have been sexually
abused. Most perpetrators of sexual abuse are people known by the children, commonly
a stepfather, an uncle or a mother’s boyfriend. Female perpetrators are less common.
Certain situations increase the risk of sexual abuse. For example, children who have
several caregivers or a caregiver with several sex partners are at increased risk. Being
socially isolated, having low self-esteem, having family members who are also sexually
abused, or being associated with a gang also increases risk.
Emotional abuse.
Using words or acts to psychologically mistreat a child is
emotional abuse. Emotional abuse makes children feel that they are worthless, flawed,
unloved, unwanted, in danger, or valuable only when they meet another person’s needs.
Emotional abuse includes spurning, exploiting, terrorizing, isolating, and
neglecting. Spurning means belittling the child’s abilities and accomplishments.
Exploiting means encouraging deviant or criminal behavior, such as committing crimes
or abusing alcohol or drugs. Terrorizing means bullying, threatening the child. Isolating
means not allowing the child to interact with other adults or children. Emotionally
neglecting a child means ignoring and not interacting with the child; the child is not
given love and attention. Emotional abuse tends to occur over a long period of time.
Munchausen by Proxy. In this unusual type of child abuse, a caregiver, usually a
mother, exaggerates, fakes, or causes an illness in the child. The symptoms of neglect
and abuse vary depending partly on the nature and duration of the neglect and abuse, on
the child, and on the particular circumstances. In addition to obvious physical injuries,
symptoms include emotional and mental health problems. Such problems may develop
immediately or later and may persist.
Physical Neglect. Physically neglected children may appear undernourished, tired
or dirty or may lack appropriate clothing. They may frequently be absent from school. In
extreme cases, children may be found living alone or with siblings, without adult
supervision. Physical and emotional development may be slow. Some neglected children
die of starvation or exposure.
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Physical Abuse Bruises, burns, welts, or scrapes are common. These marks often
have the shape of the object used to inflict them, such as a belt or lamp cord. Cigarette or
scald burns may be visible on the arms or legs. Severe injures to the mouth, eyes, brain,
or other internal organs may be present but not visible. Children may have signs of the
old injuries, such as broken bones, that have healed. Sometimes injuries result in
disfigurement.
Toddlers who have been intentionally dunked into a hot bathtub have scald burns.
These burns may be located on the buttocks and may be shaped like a doughnut. The
splash of hot water may cause small burns on other parts of the body.
Infants who are shaken may have shaken baby (shaken impact) syndrome. This
syndrome is caused by violent shaking, often followed by throwing the infant. Infants
who are shaken may have no visible signs of injury and may appear to be sleeping
deeply. This sleepiness is due to brain damage and swelling, which may result from
bleeding between the brain and skull (subdural hemorrhage). Infants may also have
bleeding in the retina (retinal hemorrhage) at the back of the eye. Ribs and other bones
may be broken.
Children who have been abused for a long time are often fearful and irritable. They
often sleep poorly. They may be depressed and anxious. They are more likely to act in
violent, criminal, or suicidal ways.
Sexual Abuse Changes in behavior are common. Such changes may occur abruptly
and be extreme. Children may become aggressive or withdrawn or develop phobias or
sleep disorders. Children who are sexually abused may behave in sexual ways
inappropriate for their age. Children who are sexually abused by a parent or other family
member may have conflicted feelings. They may feel emotionally close to the offender,
yet betrayed.
Sexual abuse may also result in physical injuries. In general, children who are
emotionally abused tend to be insecure and anxious about their attachments to other
people because they have not had their needs met consistently or predictably. Infants
who are emotionally neglected may seem unemotional or uninterested in their
surroundings. Their behavior may be mistaken for mental retardation or a physical
disorder. Children who are emotionally neglected may lack social skills or be slow to
develop speech and language skills. Children who are spurned may have low selfesteem. Children who are exploited may commit crimes or abuse alcohol or drugs.
Children who are terrorized may appear fearful and withdrawn. They may be distrustful,
unassertive, and extremely anxious to please adults. Children who are isolated may be
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awkward in social situations and have difficulty forming normal relationships. Older
children may not attend school regularly or may not perform well when they do attend.
Neglect and abuse are often difficult to recognize unless children appear severely
undernourished or are obviously injured or unless neglect or abuse is witnessed by other
people. Neglect and abuse may not be recognized for years. There are many reasons for
this difficulty. Abused children may feel that abuse is a normal part of life and may not
mention it. Physically and sexually abused children are often reluctant to volunteer
information about their abuse because of shame, threats of retaliation, or even a feeling
that that they deserved the abuse. Physically abused children often describe what
happened to them if asked directly, but sexually abused children may be sworn to
secretly or so traumatized that they do not.
When doctors suspect neglect or any kind of abuse, they look for signs of other
types of abuse. They also fully evaluate the physical, environmental, and social needs of
the child.
A neglected child is usually identified by health care practitioners or social workers
during evaluation of an unrelated issue, such as an injury, an illness, or a behavioral
problem. Doctors may notice that a child is not developing physically or emotionally at a
normal rate or has missed many vaccinations or appointments. Teachers may identify a
neglected child because of frequent unexplained absences from school. If neglect is
suspected, doctors often check for anemia, infections, and lead poisoning, which are
common among neglected children.
Physical abuse may be suspected when an infant who is not yet walking has bruises
or serious injuries. Abuse may be suspected when a toddler or older child has certain
types of bruises, such as bruises on the back of the legs, buttocks, and torso. When
children are learning to walk bruises often result, but such bruises typically occur on
prominent bony areas on the front of the body, such as the knees, shins, forehead, chin
and elbows.
Abuse may also be suspected when parents appear to know little about their child’s
health or to be unconcerned about an obvious injury. Parents who abuse their child may
be reluctant to describe to the doctor or friends how an injury occurred. The description
may not fit the age and nature of the injury or may change each time the story is told.
If doctors suspect physical abuse, they obtain accurate drawings and photographs
of the injuries. Sometimes x-rays are taken to look for signs of previous injuries. If a
child is younger than 2 years, x-rays of all bones are often taken to check for fractures.
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Often, sexual abuse is diagnosed on the basis of the child’s or a witness’s account
of the incident. However, because many children are reluctant to talk about sexual abuse,
it may be suspected only because the child’s behavior becomes abnormal. If a child has
been sexually within 72 hours, doctors examine the child to collect legal evidence of
sexual contact. Photographs of any visible injuries are taken. In some communities,
health care practitioners who are specially trained to evaluate sexual abuse of children
perform this examination.
Emotional abuse is usually identified during evaluation of another problem, such as
poor performance in school or a behavioral problem. Children who are emotionally
abused are checked for signs of physical and sexual abuse.
A team of doctors, often health care practitioners, and social workers try to deal
with the causes and effects of neglect and abuse. The team helps family members
understand the child’s needs and helps them access local resources. For example, a child
whose parents cannot afford health care may qualify for medical assistance from the
state. Other community and government programs can provide assistance with food and
shelter. Parents with substance abuse or mental health problems may be directed to
appropriate treatment programs. Parenting programs are available in some areas.
All physical injuries and disorders are treated. Some children are hospitalized for
treatment of injuries; sever undernutrition, or other disorders. Some severe injuries
require surgery. Infants with shaken baby syndrome usually need to be admitted to a
pediatric intensive care unit.
Sometimes healthy children are hospitalized to protect them from further abuse
until appropriate home care can be ensured. Some children who have been sexually
abused are given drugs to prevent sexually transmitted diseases, sometimes including
HIV infection. Children who appear to be very upset need immediate counseling and
support. Sexually abused children, even those who appear unaffected initially, are
referred to a mental health care practitioner, because long-lasting problems are common.
Long-term psychological counseling is often needed. Doctors refer other children for
counseling if behavioral or emotional problems develop.
The goal of treatment is to return children to a safe, healthy family environment.
Depending in the nature of the abuse and the abuser, children may go home with their
family or may be removed from their home and placed with relatives or in foster care.
This placement is often temporary, for example, until the parents can obtain housing
or employment or until regular home visits by a social worker are established. In
severe cases of neglect and abuse, the parents’ rights may be permanently terminated.
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In such cases, the child remains in foster care until the child is adopted or becomes an
adult.
David Merck.
/from MerkPatient and Caregiver Web, Feb 1, 2003/
SET WORK
I.
Say what is meant by:
family violence, immediate harm, substance abuse, personality disorder,
childcare worker, foster care, to be privately schooled, to leave a child
unattended, abdominal injuries, perpetrator, social isolation, a toileting
accident, sexual gratification, caregiver, flawed, spurning, deviant behavior,
undernourished, exposure, welts, disfigurement, doughnut, hemorrhage, to
act in a suicidal way, withdrawn, threats of retaliation, environmental needs,
health care practitioner, anemia, sexually transmitted diseases, to obtain
housing.
II.
Find in the article the English for:
недодавать
кому-либо
любви;
удовлетворять
ч-то
важнейшие
потребности; насилие в семье, «бытовуха»; …встречается в 3 раза
чаще;
низкая самооценка; доложить о ч-либо, сообщить; лишение
родительских прав; обычный терапевтический осмотр; склонный к
насилию
человек;
нанесение
чрезмерных
физических
травм;
подвергаться самому большому риску; нездоровая обстановка в семье;
непрекращающийся; продолжающийся; быть спровоцированным члибо;
преуменьшать,
умалять
ч-либо
способности;
заслуги;
физический ущерб; не посещать школу; брат или сестра; надзор со
стороны взрослых; ссадины; ожоги от сигарет; внутренние органы;
окунуть в горячую ванну; опухоль; расстройство сна; смешанные
чувства; чувствовать себя неуверенно; отрешенный; добровольно
сделать ч-либо; быть травмированным; пройти рентген; реанимация; в
крайних случаях.
III.
Reveal the difference between the words below. Give examples to
illustrate their usage.
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Value-evaluation-estimation.
IV.
Explain why:
1. Child neglect and abuse often occur together.
2. Adults who were physically or sexually abused as children are more likely
to abuse their own children.
3. Being a single parent, being poor, having problems with drug or alcohol
abuse, or having a mental health problem can make a parent more likely to
neglect or abuse a child.
4. A child’s risk of physical abuse decreases during the early school years and
increases during adolescence.
5. Physical abuse is often triggered by a crisis in the midst of other stresses.
6. Most perpetrators of sexual abuse are stepfathers, uncles, or the mother’s
boyfriends.
7. Children may feel emotionally close to the offender.
8. The behavior of children who are emotionally neglected may be mistaken
for mental retardation or a physical disorder.
9. Neglect and abuse are often difficult to recognize.
10. Neglect and abuse may not be recognized for years.
V.
Points for discussion.
1. What are the causes of physical/sexual/emotional abuse?
2. How can abused children be helped?
3. Are parents who were abused as children likely to abuse their own kids?
ЗА ЧТО УБИВАЮТ ДЕТЕЙ?
61 % россиянок ненавидят малышей
Вера похожа на первоклассницу, хотя ей 15. Она весит всего 29 кг, не умеет
читать и, кажется, разговаривать. Когда Вера жила дома, большую часть дня она
проводила в комнате, прикованная к стене тяжеленной ржавой дверью. Из мебели
было старое сиденье для автобуса. Мать отвязывала Веру, когда надо было
постирать или покормить детей.
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34-летняя Надежда рожала чуть ли не каждый год, кроме Веры у нее было 10
детей. Пятеро, правда, уже покинули этот неприветливый мир. Причиной смерти
никто всерьез не интересовался. Остальные разгуливали в ссадинах и синяках.
Соседи рассказывают, что мать била их, стараясь попасть по голове: кто-то из
приятелей надоумил ее, что пенсия по инвалидности больше детского пособия.
Соседи жаловались на Надежду, звонили в милицию, в опеку. Органы
реагировали, но только Надежда никого на порог не пускала: ее дом - ее право. В
конце концов, милиция взяла дом штурмом, детей отобрали, мать и отца лишили
родительских прав. Малыши сейчас кто в детском доме, кто в доме инвалидов.
Отец нашел другую женщину. Надежда – в нижнетагильской колонии. Дали ей три
с половиной года. Там, в тюрьме она родила еще одного ребенка.
«Как вы думаете, это от нищеты?» - спрашиваю я Нину Кухареву (она
занималась этим делом), ведущего специалиста отдела образования Викуловского
района Тюменской области. «Какая нищета! - возмущается она. – Не настолько
Надежда была нищая. У нее видеомагнитофон был, кассет столько нашли, на
полдеревни хватит. Она даже не пила никогда. Миллионы людей живут в нищете,
но не убивают же своих детей!»
Социальные типы
Вам не кажется, что общество сходит с ума? За последние пять лет
количество родителей, состоящих на учете в милиции, выросло почти вдвое.
А сколько еще ни на каком учете не стоит?! В учебнике по педиатрии черным
по белому написано, что 90% родителей и взрослых, жестоко обращавшихся с
детьми, не относились не к психически неполноценным, ни к асоциальным типам.
В Сатке (Челябинская область) семилетнего мальчишку убил отец – частный
предприниматель. На теле ребенка обнаружили 58 ножевых ран. Папаша
подозревал пацана в том, что тот таскает у него деньги.
В вологодской деревне Новое Лукино озверевший мужик вышвырнул из окна
избы двухлетнего ребенка. К счастью, малыш остался жив.
Дикий случай произошел в Миассе (это тоже в Челябинской области).
Опекун почти три года издевался над мальчиком и девочкой. Дети достались ему
после смерти жены, оба едва окончили начальную школу. Мужик спал с обоими,
угрожая: «Если расскажете кому, пойдете вслед за матерью на кладбище».
Однажды сосед зашел в незапертую квартиру и застал преступника на месте
преступления. Если бы не случайное разоблачение, никто не знает, сколько бы еще
это продолжалось. Правда, потом соседи и знакомые вспомнили, что мальчик не
127
раз отвечал им на вопрос, женился ли отчим: «А зачем ему жениться? У него есть
жена – моя сестра», Только они не обращали на это внимания.
Матери-ехидны
Полковник милиции Тамара Иванова, рассказывая об очередной убийце,
восклицает: «Кто же ей мешал оказаться от ребенка?! Сдать его в приют, лишь бы
он был жив!» И тут же вспоминает – был случай в Подмосковье. Парень и девушка
работали дворниками, поставили кровать в подвале рядом с отходами и жили.
Родился у них ребеночек. Мать сказала: «Давай продадим». Отец каялся потом,
клялся, что отговаривал. Не отговорил. Продали кроху за 10 тыс. рублей, 2 тыс.
достались посредникам. Такой же случай был в Ставрополе летом – родители
продали малыша цыганам. В документах написано – 1999 года рождения. Не
младенца сбыли с рук, а все понимающего маленького человечка. «Ну, хоть не
убили»,- говорит Тамара Константиновна.
Еще она говорит, что почти всегда первую скрипку играют женщины. Есть
данные социологов: 61 % женщин испытали раздражение и злость к детям, 8 %
говорили, что понимают тех, кто бьет детей. И тут же описывается очень
распространенный случай: родители сажают ребенка в кипяток с прижатыми к
животу коленями – в наказание за неумение пользоваться горшком.
Наказание
В уголовном кодексе есть статья 156, в которой говорится о неисполнении
родителем обязанностей по воспитанию несовершеннолетнего, если это соединено
с жестоким обращением с несовершеннолетним. Но, как правило, осужденные по
этой статье попадают под амнистию, возвращаются в семью и продолжают
издеваться над ребенком.
Добиться лишения родительских прав не так уж просто. В прошлом году в
суды было направлено 26 тысяч материалов, а удовлетворили только половину.
Причина? Отсуженных детей некуда девать. Они никому не нужны.
А психологи утверждают: мы сами виноваты. Вот гуляют мамочки с детьми.
Ребятишки возятся в песочнице, взрослые стоят поодаль, разговаривают. У кого в
руке сигарета, у кого – пиво. Если маленький попробует привлечь внимание, на
него цыкнут: «Не мешай!» Дети мешают взрослым жить. Может быть, за это их
ненавидят?!
Вероника Сивкова / «АиФ», № 23, 2000/
128
SET WORK
I. Give the English for:
первоклассница, быть прикованным к стене, ссадины, пенсия по
инвалидности,
состоять
на
учете
в
милиции,
частный
предприниматель, опекун, разоблачение, отказаться от ребенка, матьехидна, каяться, кипяток, не уметь пользоваться горшком, уголовная
статья, отсуженные дети, стоять поодаль, цыкнуть на к-либо.
II. Find in the article the Russian for:
to storm the building, children’s home, to strip sb. of one’s parental rights,
to be assigned to the case, to double, to mistreat children, mentally
deficient, knife wounds, to fling sb. out of the window, the scene of the
crime, cellar, to dissuade, mediator, to play the first fiddle, to romp.
III. Sum up the main points of the article.
IV. Account for the author’s choice of the headline and say why parents
kill their offspring these days. Is it because the latter irritate the former
as the author puts it?
A New Way of Understanding the Problems of Parents and Kids
The research in the field of attachment opens up a whole new world for all of us in
the understanding the problems of parents and children. Attachment is the emotional
connection between any two people. However, life’s first attachment are by far the most
important, as they set a template for all later relationships. Attachment between kids and
parents evolved naturally eons ago, as the infants and children who develop a strong
need to remain near their parents were the ones who were most likely to survive – both
physically and psychologically. Children who feel the most secure in their early
relationships with parents have tremendous advantages in life. They tend to grow up
feeling good about themselves and others. They cope well with life’s ups and downs, and
they have a strong capacity for empathy. These kids naturally form other healthy, close
relationships as they go out into the world. Kids who have not developed a healthy,
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secure attachment with parents tend to grow up feeling more insecure, disconnected and
angry.
Three ingredients of attachment
There are three ingredients to a secure attachment relationship. The first is physical
connection, which means plenty of touch and eye contact. Such things as cradling an
infant while feeding, cuddling with a toddler before bedtime, and hugging a teenager
increase the sense of physical connection, especially if touch and eye contact take place
on a daily basis throughout the childhood years. The second ingredient is the emotional
connection. Children sense their parents are connected on the emotional level when their
parents are turned into their feelings. Infants feel their parents’ attunement when parents
respond accurately to their infants’ cries or when they share their infants’ delight in new
discoveries. Children sense the emotional connection when their parents emphasize with
their feelings or provide them with comfort and reassurance. Even discipline, when
carried out with empathy, can increase the emotional connection. Finally, children need
an environment that is consistent, predictable, and safe in order to develop a quality of
attachment. Children need to know that if their feelings or behaviors get out of control,
their parents will remain steady and calm. They need to be able to depend on a consistent
schedule, consistent limits, and consistent parental responses. Without this kind of safe,
dependable environment a child will develop emotional walls which will prevent a
secure attachment.
Obstacles to a Secure Attachment
All babies and children are biologically programmed to attach to their parents, but
not all children develop quality detachments. There are several situations that can
interfere with a good attachment. For example, children with a difficult temperament
may be so highly active or so extreme in their emotions that their parents naturally have
difficulty connecting with them either physically or emotionally. Children who endured
an abusive or chaotic early life and who are later placed with an adoptive family may
have emotional walls that are difficult to penetrate. Parents who live in stressful
circumstances may have difficulty creating secure attachments. Out of necessity they
may be so preoccupied with solving the problems of living and copying that they are
unable to tune into their children’s feelings and needs. Parents with addictions are unable
to stay attuned to their children or provide a consistent, safe environment because they
are preoccupied with the addictive substance of behavior, and the whole family may be
on the addictions roller coaster together. Finally parents who grew up without secure
attachment relationships themselves often have difficulty providing the ingredients of a
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secure attachment relationship with their own children. Parents who did not experience
nurturing and closeness growing up may feel uncomfortable with closeness, and may
subsequently distance themselves from their kids. Parents who were mistreated as
children may have a strong need to in control in order to avoid feeling vulnerable, and
may therefore become excessively controlling with their children. Parents who were
mistreated may perceive normal child misbehaviors as attempts to mistreat or hurt them,
and may overreact in these situations. Parents who feel unlovable may fear their children
don’t love them, and may attempt to placate their children or give them things to get
them to love them more. Parents who were not securely attached in childhood may be
disconnected from their own painful feelings, or they may be overwhelmed by painful
feelings. Parents who experienced poor attachments are also more vulnerable to the use
of addictive substances or behavior to cope.
There is Hope for Parents and Kids
Most parents love their kids and want to give them the best start in life possible. By
gaining a clear understanding of attachment and the obstacles present in their own
relationships with their own kids, parents can overcome these obstacles and strengthen
the parent-child bonds. Parents who lacked quality bonds as children can be helped to
identify and overcome the effects of their poor attachment histories so that they may give
their children a better emotional start to life than the one they had. The book “The Whole
Parent: How to Become a Terrific Parent Even If You Didn’t Have One”, by Debra
Wesselmann, helps parents understand attachment, and teaches them how to provide the
ingredients of a secure attachment for their children. The books helps parents who didn’t
have the advantages of growing up with a quality attachment understand and overcome
the effects of their early experiences in order to give their children a better emotional
start to life than the one they had.
Debra Wesselmann
/ from the book “The Whole Parent: How to Become a Terrific Parent Even If You
Didn’t Have One”/
SET WORK
I. Define the words and word combinations below.
Attachment, to set a template for, empathy, to feel insecure and disconnected, to
cuddle with sb, before bedtime, to empathize with sb’s feelings, attachment, to be
extreme in one’s emotions, to stay attuned to sb, to overreact, to placate, to strengthen
the parent child bonds, ingredient.
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II. Find in the article the English for:
эволюционировать, развиваться; много лет назад; сильная потребность; взлеты
и падения; происходить постоянно, на протяжении всего детства; восторг по
поводу
новых
открытий;
дисциплинированность;
качать,
сохранить
убаюкивать
(ребенка);
спокойствие,
прививать
присутствие
духа;
последовательный, четкий график; быть настроенным на одну и ту же волну;
быть
привязанным
к
родителями;
трудный
характер;
установить
физический/эмоциональный контакт с кем-либо; быть всецело занятым чемлибо; отдалиться от детей; чрезмерно контролировать своих детей; быть
переполненным каким-либо чувством; преодолеть последствия ч-л.
III. Reveal the difference between the words below. Give examples to illustrate
their usage.
To open – to open up;
to provide for – to provide with;
to grow – to grow up.
IV. Think of the best Russian translation for:
to form healthy relationships, to develop a secure attachment with parents, touch and
eye contact, to be turned into sb.’s feelings, consistent and predictable environment, a
quality attachment, safe and dependable environment, to develop emotional walls, to
endure an abusive and chaotic early life, to live in stressful circumstances, parents
with addictions, to experience nurturing and closeness, to be disconnected from one’s
own painful feelings.
V. State the idea behind the lines below:
1. Children who feel the most secure in their early relationships with parents
have tremendous advantages in life.
2. They tend to grow up feeling good about themselves and others.
3. These kids naturally form other healthy, close relationships as they go out
into the world.
4. Children need an environment that is consistent, predictable, and safe in
order to develop a quality attachment.
5. Without this kind of safe, dependable environment a child will develop
emotional walls which will prevent a secure attachment.
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6. Parents who live in stressful circumstances may have difficulty creating
secure attachments.
7. Parents with addictions are unable to stay attuned to their children or provide
a consistent, safe environment because they are preoccupied with the addictive
substance or behavior, and the whole family may be on the addictions roller
coaster together.
8. Parents who were not securely attached in childhood may be disconnected
from their own painful feelings.
9. Most parents love their kids and want to give them the best start in life
possible.
10. Parents who lacked quality bonds as children can be helped to identify and
overcome the effects of their poor attachment histories so that they may give
their children a better emotional start to life than the one they had.
VI. Points for discussion:
 Is attachment between kids and parents of paramount importance?
 What are the advantages of the secure attachment?
 Are there any obstacles to a quality attachment? How can one overcome them?
 Why is emotional attachment as important as physical?
 Why are all babies and children biologically programmed to attach to their
parents?
 Can parents who grew up without secure attachment relationships provide a
consistent and safe environment for their own kids?
 How can parents/kids who feel unlovable be helped?
Is the book written by Debra Wesselmann a worthy one? Would you buy it?
THE NATURE OF NURTURING
A new study finds that how parents treat a child can shape which of his genes turn
on.
Since people, not to mention families, are so infernally complicated, consider the
rat. As soon as their wriggly little pups are born, rat mothers lick and groom them, but
like mothers of other species they vary in getting every one of their offspring’s hairs in
place. Pups whose mothers treat them like living lollipops grow up different from pups
of less devoted mothers: particular genes in the pups brains are turned on “high”. These
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brain genes play a pivotal role in behavior. With genes turned up full blast, the rats churn
out fewer stress hormones and, as adults, are more resistant to stress. These rats don’t
startle as easily, are less fearful in the face of novel situations and braver when they have
to explore an open field. In rats whose mothers did not lick them so much, the brain
genes are not turned up so high (though they are very much present), and the pups grow
up to be jumpy, angst-ridden and stressed-out. All because of how much Mom licked
and groomed them.
Thanks to the experiments like these, the age-old nature-nurture controversy – is
the person we become shaped more by the genes we inherit from our parents, or by our
life experiences? – is growing up. Now the consensus is that we are shaped by both
nature and nurture, also known as heredity and environment. An ambitious study of 720
pairs of adolescents with different degrees of genetic relatedness (from identical twins to
step-siblings) reconciles nature and nurture by explaining how genetic tendencies are
encouraged, or stifled, by specific parental responses. “Biology is not destiny”,
psychologist David Reiss of George Washington University writes in the new book “the
Relationship Code”, which describes his 12-year old study. “Many genetic factors,
powerful as they may be in psychological development, exert their influence only
through the good offices of their family.” And that means that how parents raise their
children actually does matter.
To understand why, take a trait like shyness, which seems to be partly heritable.
But it is not heritable the way, say, eye color is. If parents pamper and overprotect a shy
toddler, she will probably remain shy; if they encourage, even force, her into spending
time with other tykes, she has a good chance of overcoming it. Exactly how these
different parental responses encourage or suppress, at the molecular level, genes that
predispose for shyness remains a great unknown. But the general message is clear: gene
expression is not foreordained. To have any effect, genes must be turned on. Whether,
and how strongly, genes that underlie complex behaviors are turned on depends on the
interaction and relationships a child has with the important people in his or her life.
Any new parent can see that children are born with innate temperaments. These
traits - cuddly or cold, cranky or calm – “cause their parents… to respond to them in a
certain way”, says Reiss. If a baby is unresponsive, most parents show her less affection;
if the child is a holy terror, most parents scream, punish, hit or otherwise lash out. These
very responses determine whether the gene underlying the trait is expressed or silenced,
turned up or turned down. Genetic factors initiate a sequence of influences on
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development, but certain social processes are critical for the expression of these genetic
influences.
With a problem kid, who is perpetually disobeying, acting out, threatening, hitting,
parents typically meet threat with threat, violence with violence and coercion with
coercion. That is likely to exaggerate the child’s innate proclivities and even increase the
chances that will become seriously antisocial and even criminal. Kids with difficult
temperament can be managed and set on a good course, or their innate tendencies can be
magnified by the family and catapulted into conduct disorder. This is a concrete, testable
model of how genes and environment interact.
A highly verbal toddler will likely elicit hour after hour of reading from her
parents; that probably stimulates her innate cognitive tendencies. Later, she also
develops self-confidence in her academic abilities, seeks out challenges and gains a
reputation as a studious, bright kid.
Figuring out which environments turn up a gene and which turn it down is like
trying to match the right soil to a delicate flower, only harder. Still, scientists have
identified some links. Besides intellectual achievement, genetic factors seem to influence
the first stirring of sociability and antisocial behavior. These glimmerings typically
evoke parental responses that reinforce the nascent trait. A child with a difficult
temperament – irritability, aggressiveness – brings on parents’ harsh discipline, verbal
abuse, hostility and relentless criticism. That seems to exacerbate the child’s innate bad
side, which only makes parents even more negative, on and on in a vicious cycle, until
the adolescent loses all sense of responsibility and academic focus. Heritable
characteristics of the child shape the level of parental hostility toward that child. Parent
hostility then intensifies the child’s characteristics, making antisocial behavior more
likely. But a social baby brings out a mother’s affection and encouragement, which
reinforce those initial tendencies toward sociability.
If this explanation of how children develop is correct, it offers hope that with
appropriate parenting, a child’s sociability sense of responsibility and cognitive
development will bloom, and his tendency to antisocial behavior, academic failure and
emotional problems plummet.
Reading and reading to a child who shows little interest, cuddling a baby who
doesn’t cuddle back – won’t come easy. But it can happen.
Bill Chleeve
/ From Newsweek, Dec 12, 2001/
135
SET WORK
I. Practice the pronunciation of the words below and learn them.
Nurture, gene, infernally, controversy, heredity, reconcile, exert, hormone, stifle,
foreordain, coercion, elicit, studious, nascent, exacerbate, wither, soothe, catapult.
II. Define the meaning of the words and word combinations below. Say how they
were used in the article.
To groom sb., to churn out stress hormones, in the face of smth., angst-ridden,
stressed-out, to be shaped by smth., age-old, step-sibling, to exert influence, to coddle
and overprotect sb., tyke, to predispose for smth., to be foreordained, innate, cranky,
to lash out, to initiate, to be perpetually disobeying, to act out, coercion, to become
antisocial, to magnify, a testable model, to elicit smth., from sb., challenges, to figure
out, the stirrings of smth. nascent, a vicious cycle, academic focus, to wither, to
escalate anger, to soothe, to close one’s heart to sb., to underline.
III. State the difference between the words below. Give examples to illustrate
their usage.
Heredity – inheritance;
to seek – to seek out;
to evoke – to arise;
to bring on – to bring about – to bring out;
affection – affectation – attachment.
IV. Find in the text the English for :
не говоря уже о…; вырасти не таким как; заботящаяся мать; играть
определяющую роль в ч-л…; быть устойчивым, не поддаваться стрессу;
вздрогнуть; нервный; спор, полемика; родство; приводить в соответствие;
наследственная черта; цвет глаз; перестать быть застенчивым;
принудить,
вынудить к-то сделать ч-либо; подавать; на молекулярном уровне; чтобы возыметь
хоть какой-нибудь эффект; человек, ставший родителем; нежный, мягкий (о чел.);
реагировать соответствующим образом; не реагирующий ни на что ребенок; не
ребенок, а просто кошмар; склонность; способствовать развитию познавательных
способностей; направить ребенка на правильный путь; приобрести уверенность в
себе; приобрести репутацию; прослыть к-либо; прихотливый цветок; установить
136
некоторые связи, зависимость; общительность; ребенок с трудным характером;
строгая дисциплина; словесное оскорбление, безжалостная критика; усугублять;
родительская неприязнь; укреплять; это позволяет надеяться что…; должная
родительская забота; что-то не дастся легко; вспыльчивый; подобным образом,
аналогично; нервный, привередливый.
V. Explain what is meant by:
genes are turned on “high” , genes are turned up/down, the gene is expressed/silenced.
VI. Give the plural for:
hair, offspring.
VII. Give the words for the following definitions.
- crucial, of main importance and influence;
- to produce in large amounts;
- nervously excited because of guilt or because one is expecting something bad to
happen;
- to take much care of a person or an animal, to show too much concern for sb.;
- to arrange or decide from the very beginning that, or how, something or someone
shall happen, act, or be done;
- to succeed in drawing out smth. from sb., after much effort;
- making an unwilling person or group do smth., by force, threats;
- coming into existing or starting to change or develop;
- to become reduce in size, colour, strength;
- bad-tempered, capricious;
- to find agreement between smth. that seems to be in opposition;
- to hit hard;
- a strong natural liking or tendency, esp. towards smth. bad;
- fond of studying;
- to make less angry, excited or anxious; comfort or calm;
- a hard sweet made of boiled sugar and fixed on a stick, which is eaten by licking;
- to make smth. worse, to aggravate;
- anxious and considering the sad state of the world an/or the human condition;
- the passing of possessions as well as qualities of mind and body from parents to
children.
VIII. State the idea behind the given lines and enlarge on it.
1. Since people are so infernally complicated, consider the rat.
137
2. As soon their wriggly little pups are born, rat mothers lick and groom them,
but like mothers of other species they vary in getting every one of their
offspring’s hairs in place.
3. Pups whose mother treat them like living lollipops grow up different from
pups of less devoted mothers.
4. Thank to experiments like these, the age-old nature-nurture controversy is
growing.
5. An ambitious study of 720 pairs of adolescent with different degrees of
genetic relatedness reconciles nature and nurture.
6. “Biology is not destiny”, David Reiss… writes in the new book.
7. Many genetic factors…exert their influence only through the good offices of
the family.
8. Exactly how these parental responses encourage or suppress… genes that
predispose for shyness remains a great unknown.
9. Genes must be returned on.
10. Family is like a catapult.
11. On a happier note, genes seem to have an early effect on verbal IQ.
12. Figuring out which environments turn up a gene and which turn it down is
like trying to match the right soil to a delicate flower, only harder.
13. These glimmerings typically evoke parental responses that reinforce the
nascent trait.
14. That seems to exacerbate the child’s innate bad side.
15. Reading and reading to a child who shows little interest, cuddling a baby
who doesn’t cuddle back – won’t come easy.
16. Mothers and fathers would be doing gene therapy on their children simply by
raising them.
IX. Find in the article several equivalents for the Russian “воспитывать”.
X. Sum up the article and formulate its key idea.
XI. Is the person we become shaped more by the genes we inherit from our
parents, or by our life experience?
138
SUPPLEMENT
WHAT’S GOT INTO THE TWEENIES?
My friend Sarah says about her 11-year-old daughter. "Sometimes she is
childlike and just wants a cuddle; at other times it is like being mother to
Madonna. She and her friends dress up in micro-mini skirts and spend hours on
their hair. They have got micro-boobs, too - size 32 triple A or something. They
are already having mood swings and scouring their faces for spots. Can somebody
tell me what is going on?"
At ten years old, my first daughter, Frances, was more turbulent than a
dryer at full tilt. I remember complimenting her on a pretty top she was wearing.
She walked out of the room to change it. I tried to emphasize, but by the age of 11
she was increasingly determined not to take any advice or sympathy I might offer.
"I hate you," she stormed when I told her I had packed a coupled of sanitary towels
"just in case" into her rucksack before summer camp.
It is not merely that our well-fed children arrive at adolescence earlier
these days, although that is partly the case. Nor is it purely a question of
commercial pressures forcing our nine-year-olds to conform to an advertised ideal.
No, this is about hormones.
Pre-puberty is a developmental stage in its own right, says Elizabeth
Hartley-Brewer, who has just written a book called Tweenies about children aged
between eight and 12 years old, who fall outside the remit of most childcare guides.
And she is astonished at how little we know about this early crisis of change and
instability.
"Hormonal changes start about the age of eight in girls - long before any
physical signs," she says. "There is an awful lot going on inside the child's body
and moods will be affected before the periods start." With boys, hormonal changes
occur later. "For them, it is much more a case of the gawky 14-year-old," she says.
In fact, pre-teen children are not being awkward - they are simply high on
invisible hormones, says Dr Peter Hindmarsh, a pediatric endocrinologist at Great
Ormond Street Hospital for Children in London. This discovery has come only in
the past five years. "Before then it was impossible to measure hormone
concentrations at low levels," says Dr Hindmarsh. "But you can now see that the
139
sex hormones are pretty quiet until about seven or eight years of age, then they
increase gradually over the next three to four years."
The hormones - estrogen for girls and testosterone for boys - start being
produced at night, from the time children fall asleep until about 4am or 5am. Levels
are not enough to stimulate breast and hair growth or to trigger menstruation, but
they do affect the brain, hence die mood swings.
"Flossie has been a nightmare for months," says a friend from Manchester.
"She will not take no for an answer. She is only ten but wants to get her ears
pierced and is making a huge fuss about it. We suggested that she wait a while, but
that is not good enough because 'all' her friends have had it done. She also seems to
be watching what she eats and there is not an ounce of fat on her. But one word
from us and she flounces upstairs, banging every door she passes. It is as though a
teenager has come to live in my child's body."
Life can be cruel for modern pre-adolescents. No longer cute and captivating,
nor yet terribly teenagery, they are assumed to be able to cope with a vast range of
outside pressures. They have to deal with more school tests than previous
generations and exhausting extracurricular timetables of organized "fun". On top of
all this there are image pressures from the beauty, fashion and pop industries. Yet
they are still only children.
Hardey-Brewer says that the problems of the pre-teen are quite different
from those of the fully fledged teenager. "The adolescent crisis is: 'Where am I
going to be as an adult?' The pre-adolescent crisis is: 'How do I measure up in the
uncosseted world outside my family?' Tweenies are struggling to separate from the
family, to check out how they fit in the outside world." The stress sets in long before
parents expect it.
"My daughter is nine years old and has started puberty," writes one mother.
"She has been very difficult with everyone. Her moods have been up and down for
at least two weeks. She hasn't started her period yet. Help!" Another writes: "I am
at a loss. I have an 11-year-old son who will not eat. His diet consists of peanutbutter sandwiches, popcorn and bagels. Not to mention junk food. At one time he
would eat cereal but now that is a battle."
They may look like ten-year-olds, but our pre-adolescents' heads are
buzzing with friendship problems, gender questions, moral dilemmas and anxieties
about body image. Soon their limbs will elongate, body hair will sprout and
140
everyone will realize what they have been going through. Until then they fight a
lone crusade to be respected as subtly older, suddenly different.
Pre-teenagers often latch on to causes and issues outside the family in an
effort to make their mark, Hardey-Brewer says. "As children develop the capacity
for abstract thought, they begin to forge their own morality.
"They may become concerned for the suffering of others but have yet to
develop the sophistication to see shades of grey. They are very rule-bound. An
interest in animal rights can go alongside a tendency to anorexia and perfectionism."
As one friend put it, after receiving an anti-alcohol lecture from her 11-year-old
daughter "I find myself asking: where did Rachel’s childhood go? Then she comes
to me crying about a scuffed knee and I think 'she's still my little girl.
Deborah Jackson
/ From The Times, Nov.18, 2004/
What are these observations suggestive of?
141
uy t
(from All Our Love. The Facts of Love, Lots of Love, The Best of Love and Vote for Love,
compiled by Nanette Newman)
"To cane" or "not to cane" is still a question in an English school. Some English
teachers, who are reluctant companions to this approach to education, say they simply
need the cane "to be held back in reserve to maintain discipline among the
troublemakers".
A Reader's Letter
It is characteristic of our society in Great Britain that the only persons who can be
legally assaulted are children - one of the weakest sections. Empirical evidence has shown
that corporal punishment does no good, can be positively harmful to some children and
hides incompetent teachers and other deficiencies in our educational system. Britain and
Ireland are the only countries in the world where it is allowed. In Scotland corporal
punishment is more prevalent than in England and Wales. We are at present conducting a
campaign for abolition and are taking a test case to the European Commission on Human
Rights.
In support of our case we sent the Commission a tawse, one of the leather belts, 2 ft
long x 1, 5 broad, 3/8 thick, which are used to inflict punishment - the Commission have
written back , inquiring if we are sure these are the instruments used.
PROBLEM CHILDREN
(letter to the editor)
Sir,
Teachers in some secondary schools in Britain are worried that their job
may become impossible shortly unless something' should be done to restore
discipline in the classroom. In the problem schools mostly in large cities a small
minority of teenage pupils deliberately disrupt lessons to such an extent that the
teachers can no longer teach their classes effectively. Some within the teachers'
unions consider that the permissive nature of modern society is responsible.
Small children who are continually encouraged to express their individuality
without restriction are naturally reluctant to accept school discipline when they
grow older.
Furthermore, modern teaching techniques which appear to stress personal
enjoyment at the expense of serious academic work might be teaching the child
to put his own selfish interests before his duties to the community in which he
lives.
Perhaps the problem can be solved by improving facilities for the
psychological guidance of these difficult children, or by better cooperation
between the schools and the parents, for the parents may be mainly responsible
for the aggressive behaviour of their offspring.
But some of us believe that there ought to be a return to more oldfashioned methods. At present, in some schools teachers may not even slap a
child who misbehaves. But personally I feel that caning should be reintroduced,
and this might produce the desirable result.
ex-teacher Bakenham.
I.
Should caning be reintroduced as a means of restoring
discipline?
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II.
Are parents to blame for the aggressive behaviour of their
offspring?
CHILDREN
“MUST HAVE A CHILDHOOD”
Children are under increasing pressure to grow up and must be
allowed a childhood, teachers have demanded.
Members of the Association of Teachers and Lecturers said children's
rights, such as the right to education, should include the right to a childhood.
Delegates at the ATL's conference in Gateshead said it was too
"uncool" for children to be children. Kay Johansson, a teacher from
Denbighshire, north Wales, said "they seem afraid to play." A teacher at Rhyl
High School said: "In the schoolyard where I used to see children playing
games that would keep them fit, teach them social skills and stimulate their
creativity I now see groups of children standing around discussing who has
the most expensive pair of trainers or the latest mobile phone."
Mrs. Johansson has worked in the profession for nearly 40 years and
said the children's values were frequently not their parents'. "All too often the
values and attitudes of our children are the latest offering of the young male
advertising executive who wants to make a large bonus by increasing the
profits of his latest client. With their own peer groups as role models rather
than responsible adults they are more likely to find out about the very things
we should be protecting them from. The more and more that children gain
access to this adult world the more they believe they are adult. This idea is
happily reinforced by the type of companies that produce sexy undies and
seductive party clothes for six-year-olds and cheeky ring-tones for their
phones." She said none of this helped teachers do their jobs and children were
being "robbed of their childhood".
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Maxine Bradshaw, from Ysgol Llywelyn, also in Denbighshire, said
there was no clear division between adulthood and childhood. "Too often
children are treated as equals rather than minors," she told delegates. She told
the conference about a poem written by a child in her class of eight and nineyear-olds. It read: 'Happiness is being able to pay the mortgage'. "Where was
that child's right to a childhood, free from the dangers of adulthood?"
John Faulkner
/The Times, Dec 10, 2006/
PARENTS URGED TO TALK TO CHILDREN
Too much television and a lack of family meals are damaging
children's conversational ability, a report says.
The Basic Skills Agency found many parents did not "see the point" of
developing verbal skills, focusing instead on reading and writing. Some fouryear-olds threw tantrums in class because they could not communicate in any
other way. The BSA wants primary school teachers to work with families to
improve children's conversation. Its report - Talk to Me - says verbal skills are
declining "year on year". It says all-day television, parents' long working
hours and the "decline of the family meal" are causes of poor communication.
It also cites the "splintering" of families into different rooms in the house, with
children as young as four watching TV alone in their bedrooms.
The increased use of forward-facing buggies means babies and toddlers
have less chance to communicate with parents, the report adds. The "greatest
impact" on children's verbal skills was among disadvantaged families.
The report backs US research conducted in the mid-1990s, which
found that by the time they started school a child of professional parents had
heard about 50 million words. For those of working-class background it was
30 million and for those with parents on income support it was 12 million.
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BSA report author Sue Palmer found parents were "wary of schools
interfering in their family life and resentful of any suggestion that they don't
know what's best for their children".
The gap between homes and classrooms had increased since 1996,
when a gunman killed 16 children and their teacher at a school in Dunblane.
With greater security in place, primary schools had "struggled to remain the
inviting, welcoming places they once were", Ms Palmerfound. Her report calls
for head teachers to make more use of parent-helpers and to invite parents in
more often. It says: "When it comes down to it, it's hope - not objectives,
targets or evidence - that motivates people. Hope is what gives us the energy to
make time to make connections, and we ignore its immeasurable importance
adulthood."
John Faulkner
/The Times, Dec. 10, 2006/
WHAT THE SCIENTISTS ARE SAYING…
Why papa is everywhere
Wherever you go in the world, the male parent is addressed in more
or less the same way. In France, children call their father "papa" - and the
same is true of children living deep in the Amazon rainforest. In Swahili
and Mandarin, fathers are addressed as "baba"; in Malay "bapa". Now a
new study has underlined just how prevalent the word is. When researchers
examined 1,000 languages, they found that 70% of them included the word
"papa". The received wisdom is that these words developed across cultures
and continents because they are so easily pronounced. But the latest
findings have prompted a controversial new theory: the existence of a
single proto-language, spoken by our Neanderthal forebears more than
50,000 years ago, from which all other languages are descended. "There is
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only one explanation for the consistent meaning of the word 'papa': a
common ancestry," said Dr Pierre Bancel, who led the study. However, he
admitted that the hypothesis could never be proven. "We have no
Neanderthals around to ask."
Shouting as bad as smacking children
Shouting at children can be as harmful as smacking them because it
dents their self-esteem and causes feelings of insecurity.
An eight-year study of nursery age children in Denmark found that
they saw little difference between verbal and physical violence. The majority
of youngsters said they frequently felt adults were angry with them long after
they had finished shouting. Children often felt upset even when parents and
teachers did not think they had raised their voices.
Erik Sigsgaard, of the Danish Centre for Research in Institutions, who
conducted the research, said punishing children was wrong because it
damaged their self-respect. He advised parents to discipline children in a
normal voice.
Are cloth nappies no greener?
Parents who try to do their bit for the planet by putting their children
into reusable nappies may be labouring in vain: scientists have calculated
that cloth nappies are no better for the environment than disposable ones.
Around seven million disposable nappies are used every day, and they are
largest contributor to landfill sites, taking up between 2% and 8% of
volume. However, re-using nappies has its own environmental costs, in the
shape of the water, fuel and detergent it takes to wash and dry them. Now
after a four-year study of 2,000 parents, the Environment Agency has
concluded both types of nappies are about as bad as each other. “It’s not
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much use to solve a landfill problem only to create rising demand for
energy and water”, said the Agency’s Martin Brocklehurst.
Winners dress in red
Wearing red can give competitors a sporting advantage; scientists
analysed the results of four combat sports during the 2004 Olympics –
boxing, tae kwon do, Greko-Roman wrestling and freestyle wrestling – and
found that the athletes who wore red won significantly more fights than
those in blue, even though the colours were randomly assigned. Further
analysis indicated that wearing red – a colour associated with aggression –
tipped the balance when the fighters were more or less evenly matched.
“Whether red suppresses the testosterone of the individual wearing red, we
don’t know at the moment,” Dr Robert Barton of Durham University told
BBC Online. “My hunch is that there is a bit of both going on”.
Pretty children are better looked after
It's bad enough that the beautiful people find it easier to get good jobs
get paid more and are generally considered cleverer and more likeable than their
plainer contemporaries. Now further research has revealed that they even get
better looked after as children. For the study, scientists observed interactions
between parents and their offspring in supermarkets. They noted that the more
attractive the children, the more carefully the parents looked after them. For
instance, women buckled 4 % of plain children into supermarket trolleys,
compared with 13 % of pretty children.
Music lessons boost brain power
Learning a musical instrument can make children brainier. It's well
known that children who take music lessons often do better at school, but up
until now, people assumed that this was because those children tend to be from
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wealthier, better-educated families. However, Canadian researchers have
discovered that the phenomenon has got nothing to do with wealth or class.
They took a group of children under six from a range of backgrounds and gave
them free music classes. When the children sat IQ tests nine months later, they
scored on average three points more than children who had not had the lessons.
"I think what you're seeing is the beneficial effect of more schooling," said Dr
Glen Schellenberg, who led the study. Children could probably get the same
effect.
TEAMWORK
a) Work in groups of three or four. Decide which of the following statements
you agree or disagree with. Discuss these with the other members of your
group. Be ready to report your discussion to other groups.
1. There's never a problem child, there are only problem parents. 2.
Anyone who expects quick results in child upbringing is an incurable optimist
3. Under dictatorial control adolescents work submissively, show little
initiative. 4. Happiness may be defined as the state of minimal repression. 5.
Healthy children do not fear the future, thеу anticipate it gladly. 6. The adults
who fear that youth will be corrupted by freedom are those who are corrupt
themselves.
b) Pair work. Agree or disagree with the statements below. Be sure to provide
sound arguments. Consider the following points and extend them
whenever
possible:
1. Children are not supposed to have their opinion, but if they do, the adults
ignore them.
2. The difference between a child and an adult amounts to achieving the state of
independence.
3. The most painful time is adolescence with intense feelings, lack of confidence
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and rebellion against authority.
4. The essence of happiness is complete freedom from care.
5. Most adults think of their childhood as being most happy time.
с) Tips to Follow
Take a Look at Yourself
1.
Children pattern themselves on their parents. If you have certain traits
you don’t want your children to inherit, make a constant effort to get
rid of these qualities. In other words one of the most effective ways to
child control is self-control.
2.
Be relaxed. If you are ill at ease with children, they know it and
become uneasy themselves. Children are very sensitive to tension.
3.
Assert your authority. From the beginning try to make it clear to the
children that while you love them and make any reasonable sacrifices
for them, they are not rulers and have limited privileges and definite
obligations.
4.
Don’t expect miracles. The rule is particularly important in trying to
cope with children. It is both unfair and unwise to expect miracles.
5. Be consistent. Few things upset a child more than indecisive and
erratic treatment from two people who represent law and order and
stability in his world – his parents.
A.Linkletter
/From The Secret World of Kids/
Say what you think of every tip mentioned. What other tips would you
advise following?
d) Work in pairs or in small groins. Discuss problems of child upbringing
outlined in the extracts below:
1. Timidity. It is another common personal defect in children. A reasonable amount
of timidity is normal enough. But some children are more fearful than
others. Don't force the child to face his fears! Most children outgrow their
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timidity.
2. Selfishness. Many parents complain that their children are self-centered, never
think of anyone but themselves. Have no sense of responsibility. Won't share
things and so on... Selfishness is often prolonged in kids by parents who tend
to make slaves of themselves for the children's benefit.
3. Permissiveness. It is high time to stop being permissive to children. It is
urgent to change your attitude and learn to take a stand and be tough in your
love.
e) Comment on the statements below.
1. In the little world in which children have their existence, whosoever
brings them up, there is nothing so finely perceived and so finely felt, as
injustice.
Charles Dickens
2. Childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies. Nobody that matters, that
is.
Edna St Vincent
Millay
3. There is no end to the violations committed by children on children,
quietly talking alone.
Elizabeth Bowen
4. A child is a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the
other.
Monsignor Ronald
Kuox
5. Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having
children. Life is the other way round.
David Lodge
6. When children are doing nothing they are doing mischief.
H. Fielding
7. Teach your child to hold his tongue and he will learn to speak fast.
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B. Franklin
8. Anger is never without a reason, but seldom without a good one.
B. Franklin
9. If children grew up according to early indications, we should have
nothing but geniuses.
Goethe
10. We are all geniuses up to the age of ten.
A. Huxley
11. Children begin by loving parents, as they grow older they judge them,
sometimes they forgive them.
O. Wilde
12. One of the most obvious facts about grown-ups, to a child, is that they
have forgotten what it is like to be a child.
Randall
Jarrell
13. A child becomes an adult when he realizes that he has a right not only
to be right but also to be wrong.
ThomasSzasz
14. If you strike a child take care that you strike it in anger, even at the
risk of maiming it for life. A blow in cold blood neither can nor should
be forgiven.
George
B.Shaw
15. I say violence is necessary. It is as American as cherry pie.
H. Rap
Brown
16. Keep violence in the mind where it belongs.
Brian Aldiss
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17. There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets
the future in.
Graham
Greene
18. Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will
not depart from it.
Bible
19. Men are generally more careful of the breed of their horses and dogs
than of their children.
William
Penn
20. The parent who could see his boy as he really is would shake his head
and say: “Willie is no good; I’ll sell him”.
Stephen Leacock
21. Parents love their children more than children love their parents.
Auctoritates
Aristotelis
22. The joys of parents are secret, and so are their griefs and fears.
Francis
Bacon
23. Parents learn a lot from their children about coping with life.
Francis
Bacon
24. Oh, what a tangled Web do parent weave
When they think that their children are naïve.
Ogden Wash
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25. Parentage is a very important profession, but no test of fitness for it is
ever
imposed in the interest of the children.
George Bernard Shaw
26. The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey
their
children.
Edward VIII
28. “It takes a long time to grow young”.
Picasso
29. “Creative thinkers make many false starts, and continually waver between
unmanageable fantasies and systematic attack”.
Harry Hepner
30. “By the time the child can draw more than a scribble, by age three or four
years, an already well-formed body of conceptual knowledge formulated
language dominates his memory and controls his graphic work. Drawings are
graphic accounts of essentially verbal education gains control, the child
abandons his graphic efforts and relies almost entirely on words. Language has
first spoiled drawing and then swallowed it up completely.
Psychologist, Karl Buhler
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Л.М. Кузнецова, Ж.Л. Ширяева
PROBLEM PARENTS OR PROBLEM CHILDREN
Учебное пособие
Редактор В.И. Буланова. Подписано в печать – 16.02.2007г.
Формат 60х84 1/16. Бумага офсетная.
Усл.-печ.л. 7,2 п.л. Тираж 50 экз.
Государственное образовательное учреждение высшего
профессионального образования
«Липецкий государственный педагогический университет»
398020 г. Липецк, ул. Ленина, 42
Отпечатано в РИЦ ЛГПУ
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