getting over you
leslie b
Copyright© 2022 Leslie B
All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be
reproduced in any form without permission from the
publisher, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law.
For permissions contact: lesliebpoetry@gmail.com
Upload by: Dara Zrary
ISBN: 9798357465276
Chapters
the beginning of the end
the heartbreak
the hurting
the healing
the
beginning of the end
Getting You Over
5
the first time we met
it was a Wednesday afternoon
i can't remember
the rest of the details
because i never thought
you would become
an important person to me
Getting You Over
6
if we had met differently
at a different place
at a different time
would we had
stood a chance?
Getting You Over
7
two lonely souls
have a way of
clinging onto each other
we knew we weren’t compatible
but we held on
so that we weren't alone
Getting You Over
8
when we first met
i had no idea
that i would become
so attached
Getting You Over
9
i was stupid
i gave my heart
to someone
who didn't want it
now i'm stuck
with someone
who doesn’t want me
and me
not wanting anyone else
Getting You Over
10
it was in the process
of loving you
that i realized
i've lost myself
Getting You Over
11
the idea of things having a chance to work out
always make me excited but it is also what kills me
at the same time, you start to build up
expectations, and start to overthink when things
don’t go accordingly to plan, you start predicting
the fall, start finding flaws in yourself, and then
destroy the relationship before the relationship
destroys you. it’s a whole internal torture, and the
only person doing it to you is yourself.
Getting You Over
12
what do you do
when your problem
and your solution
is the same person?
Getting You Over
13
at which point do you stop trying?
at which point do you say
this is enough
i'm sick of being the only person
who is making the effort
i deserve much more than this
i deserve someone
who would reciprocate
the efforts i make for them
Getting You Over
14
stuck between
i really do like you
and i want to make this work
but you're not reciprocating
my efforts
and
i deserve better than you
maybe i should just let it hurt
until i get over it
and move on
Getting You Over
15
i can’t believe
how quickly we went
from everything
to nothing
Getting You Over
16
and what does it mean
if the person who told you
that they will never leave
finally leaves?
Getting You Over
17
i gave myself excuses
for the way you treated me
because i thought it was supposed to hurt
i thought love was supposed to hurt
i took the red flags
and saw it as signs for passion
the fights we had
as a form of communication
the cold war
as giving each other more space
every hurt that came along
as a sign of love
when i was in pain
i thought i was in love
i put myself through it all
and then i wondered,
if love was pain
why did i want it
in the first place?
Getting You Over
18
if it doesn't hurt
it isn't love
i saw this quote once
and thought that was how
love is supposed to be
- i couldn't be more wrong
Getting You Over
19
you think to yourself
this time it's different
but it hurts the same
when it's over
every single time
Getting You Over
20
i push people away
and hope they come back
- why do i keep breaking my own heart
Getting You Over
21
i hate mind games, when you have to second guess
your own decisions because you did not get the
response that you anticipated, were you not good
enough? was it just because they were not in the
mood? or was it because they didn't like you the
way you think they would?
i hate mind games, when you thought all is lost,
and you do things with the expectation of being
rejected, only to get accepted this time round, did
i finally make it? the thought of it brings euphoria
within you.
i hate mind games, just when you thought
everything was secured, things went in the
opposite direction again, a rejection would have
been better, now you are stuck in this confusion
where neither side seems like the right answer,
how can this be possible? you're tired, you want
to stop guessing, if only you knew what was on
their mind...
Getting You Over
22
i hate mind games, you want to give up. maybe it
would be easier if you do things without
expectation, you try to see them like how you
would see everyone else, but it’s impossible, the
concept behind it is easy, but in reality, when you
see them, your mind starts to wander off again.
i hate mind games, maybe it would be easier if you
stop seeing them, the idea behind it makes sense,
you try a day without seeing them, the mind
games stop, but you find yourself feeling
depressed like never before, you see them again,
you feel better, and the mind games begin once
again.
i hate mind games, all i want is to stop thinking
about you, but that seems to be all i'm doing
lately...
Getting You Over
23
we were and then we weren't
i know i can do better
but i'm still stuck here
wondering what if
Getting You Over
24
too many "almost" with too many people
Getting You Over
25
i can feel this
coming to an end
and i don't know
where to begin
Getting You Over
26
the moment i knew
was a moment too late
too delusional
and passing things
for less than it seems
the moment i knew
was a moment of relief
followed by a huge wave of
intense
sadness
didn't know i need you like this
i don't want to need you like this
it took me a moment
to realize
and it will take a lot more moments
for it to be over
Getting You Over
27
i have never
begged for anyone to stay
but i said please that day
whatever it is
we can work this out
i have never
prayed for anything so badly
but i remember
begging the universe
that if it could hear me somehow
all i want is a chance to make it work
it was when
i was on the verge
of losing you
that i realized
i've never wanted anything more
i can't
was all you said
and that was the end of it all
2 words
5 letters
i've never been hurt
by anything more
Getting You Over
28
it’s crazy how one person's presence can have
such an impact on someone's entire life.
Getting You Over
29
i have a question
answer me honestly
do you want us to continue
yes or no?
- if it's not ayes, it's a no
Getting You Over
30
stop waiting for someone
who is not coming back
Getting You Over
31
my heart hurts too much
and the day is too long
it's only 11am
i don’t know what to do
Getting You Over
32
the way you left will always be a trauma to me
Getting You Over
33
i remember the day you left
it was over a text
and i remember
the only word i said back was
oh
because i couldn't think of anything else
because i never thought this would ever happen
because i didn't wake up that day
thinking that
my only source of happiness
was gonna be taken away from me
i asked you
if we could talk on the phone
and you said sure
so i called you
and you picked it up
baby can we talk about this
i was in tears
and i couldn't breathe
what is there to talk about
you were nonchalant
unemotional
Getting You Over
34
you've made your decision
and you wanted me to be okay with it
please
i said,
it can't end like this
i spent the last few months believing
that you were the person for me
i can’t
you said,
and that was the last time
we ever spoke on the phone
Getting You Over
35
the hurt is fresh
and the hurt is pain
this is the beginning
of yet another recovery
you've been through this before
and you will go through it again
things will start to suck from now on
you won't be able to get it back
to how it used to be
anymore
keep that in mind
you will hurt
you will hurt
and the hurt
it doesn't get easier
at least not for awhile
it will hurt
and it will suck
but you will get through it
just like how you always do
Getting You Over
36
i think deep down i knew that you'd eventually
leave
Getting You Over
37
Getting You Over
38
the heartbreak
Getting You Over
39
how many times
can you say goodbye
to a person
before you finally
leave them?
Getting You Over
40
the worst feeling in the world is watching
someone slowly lose interest in you. that
person you ever really imagined a future
with, you made promises to be in each
other's lives forever and now they are just
empty words that will never mean
anything, the conversations become less
and less and you have to literally stop
yourself from messaging them because it
just makes you feel worse and now you feel
like you are a bother, you used to talk for
months straight and now it’s been multiple
days since any of you have said anything to
each other, if you don't message first, you
don't talk at all. you know where it’s
inevitably heading, but you are still trying
to cling on to what is already gone because
you can't bear to lose them, everything you
do seems to be making it worse, the feeling
in your chest gets heavier and heavier, and
the thing is you can't make someone
want you. you can’t make them care if they
have already decided that they don’t want
you anymore, the only thing left to do now
is to let them go, even if it's really difficult,
you are only hurting yourself by holding
—
Getting You Over
41
on. you've tried your best, and they didn't
want you.
Getting You Over
42
we could have been
anything in this world
but you chose
to leave
Getting You Over
43
when you left
did you think about
everything
you’ve left behind
or did you only think
of yourself?
Getting You Over
44
i wrote a lot that day
after you left
i had so much to say
and no one who would listen
i was upset
i was angry
every thought on my mind
was screaming at you
but i held myself back
because it wouldn't make a difference
and holding it inside me
broke me down even more
i wrote until i couldn't anymore
i had to lie down
i never knew mental hurt
could translate physically
everything was hurting
but i wasn't sick
except the thought of you
the thought of you made me sick
but i couldn't stop thinking
what is wrong with me
it was that day i realized
how much hurt
one person can give
to another
Getting You Over
45
watch
to
used
now i watch it alone
sunsets
Getting You Over
46
with
you
it was only after you left
that i realized
how empty it feels
without you
Getting You Over
47
in a parallel timeline
do you think
we are happy?
do you think
we are together?
Getting You Over
48
in the end
the thing that hurt the most
was actually you
saying nothing
Getting You Over
49
let me tell you a secret
/ still think about you sometimes
although i will never admit
that i do
Getting You Over
50
1. after you left, i missed you longer than i
thought i would.
2. i compare everyone i met after you with you.
3. no matter how much love you put into a
relationship, time has a special talent of dulling
your feelings.
4. the times i spent crying over you was really
time wasted, i don't even remember any of the
reasons now. to be honest, even our love felt a
little surreal.
5. i can't remember our times together, and
sometimes i can't even recall what you look like,
but i still can't get you out of my head.
6. i used to dream about us getting back together,
but now i know it will never happen.
7. i wonder if we would end up together if we
didn't meet so early.
Getting You Over
51
8. i would really love to meet you again now,
purely as friends.
9. i still read the cards you wrote for me years
back, and they still make me smile every time.
10. it's been 4 years, and yet you are still able to
inspire me to write.
- 10 things i think about after you left
Getting You Over
52
i got too attached
in something that was
supposed to be temporary
and now i’m wasting time
paying for it
Getting You Over
53
are you in love
with the person
or are you in love
with the feeling?
Getting You Over
54
it's kinda weird that
we don't exist
in each other’s life
anymore.
it's like nothing
has ever happened
between us.
but how can it be nothing
when it was everything
at one point in time?
Getting You Over
55
perhaps
you wanted it
so badly
and that was why
it didn't work
Getting You Over
56
if i could,
i would
take you on a journey
of my overthinking
show you the process
of how you ruined me
if i could,
i would
take you on a journey
and make you live it
on repeat
-
vengeance
Getting You Over
57
who knew
that being hurt
could do so much
to a person
Getting You Over
58
i am used to having
people come and go
and i guess
i was still surprised
when you left
because
i actually believed you
when you said
you'd be around
Getting You Over
59
does it say more
about me or you
if i told you
that i am still here
waiting
to do all the things
we said we would do
Getting You Over
60
it all started out fun
it always does
3 am conversations
laughing too hard
that's when the trouble starts
the first confession
sending electricity through your body
for a brief moment
you were the luckiest person on the planet
having found someone you like
that likes you back
that's when the love starts
when life feels like a honeymoon
the nights you'd go back to
just to feel it twice
if only this feeling last forever
but it never does
but it never does
when you are at the top
the only way left is down
and that's the aftermath
of all things affectionate
Getting You Over
61
you can never really pinpoint it
to an exact moment
but you can always sense it
when it starts going downhill
at the beginning
it was only a little
like a ball getting into motion
and then it happens
all at once
tumbling down at full speed
everything that was built
comes crashing down
all at once
you can be prepared
but it will hit you all the same
the feeling you get inside
that is eating you out
you want to throw up
but these feelings won't come out
where did it go wrong?
where did it go wrong?
you're asking questions
you will never get an answer from
Getting You Over
62
it is an irony
because it always ends
the same way it begins
when the clock strikes 3 am
and you are lying in your bed
wide awake
except this time
you are not laughing anymore
it's funny how you fed yourself hope
only to have it ruined all over again
but it's not funny
but it’s not funny
Getting You Over
63
it will never be the same again.
Getting You Over
64
i spend too much time
building up scenarios
in my own head
and living in it
Getting You Over
65
a fairytale:
me,
falling for you
and you,
feeling the same
Getting You Over
66
i need a closure, i need a closure badly, i think i
might have finally gotten over you. it's crazy
because it didn’t felt like i was in love when we
were together, but once you were gone, the feeling
of emptiness starts to sink in. i'm not sure if it was
because of the lack of company or the lack of your
company, maybe it was a little bit of both, how do
you ask for closure with someone you were never
together to begin with? how do you ask them if
they felt the same way when the thought of it
probably never even crossed their mind in the
first place? i don’t even think what i'm feeling
right now is love, but i can't quite explain the
feeling of emptiness without you being around, i
don’t even enjoy your company as much as i did
before, but it still feels like i'm lacking something
when you are not around, i feel comfortable just
sitting across you even if we are not talking, it's
not the same when i'm alone, i got so comfortable
with your presence that i forgot how it feels like
to be without, can you not be in love with
someone but still crave for their presence? i want
to talk to you about the things that happened but
i don't know how to do it without it being
extremely weird, it feels weird to give up entirely
on such a short time on something that took us
time to progress, i need a closure.
Getting You Over
67
—
i don't think this is love that i'm feeling. but i still
get a feeling of emptiness in your absence, what
exactly am i feeling right now?
Getting You Over
68
i still feel your presence everywhere
Getting You Over
69
i can't even begin
to describe how
i'm feeling right now
but all i can say is that
it hurts a lot
Getting You Over
70
honestly i wonder
if it even hurt you
a little bit
at all
Getting You Over
71
i guess
a part of me
really wants to know
if at any point in time
did you feel the same way
what i felt about you?
Getting You Over
72
you stopped saying goodnight
and i stopped sleeping
Getting You Over
73
literally no idea why i let people who don't
deserve me break my heart but yet i continue to
do so.
Getting You Over
74
the irony:
being with you
made me feel like
i wasn't enough
without you
i'm feeling like
i don't have enough
Getting You Over
75
i believe
there will always be
a place in my heart
that still hurts
whenever i think of you
Getting You Over
76
it takes awhile
for your heart to know
what your mind knows
your mind knows
by accepting
understanding
and letting go
your heart knows
when you hurt
until it doesn't hurt
anymore
Getting You Over
77
the hurting
Getting You Over
78
Getting You Over
79
the journey it takes to get over someone is a
journey too gruesome for some, you’re making
progress, but you are not really getting anywhere,
you go through a terrible process of pain and
recovery and the destination is back to where you
were literally before, before all the overthinking
and the unnecessary feelings, before someone
fucked you up in ways you didn’t know was
possible, before you broke all your expectations
and replaced them with agony, isn't it crazy how
much of a setback one wrong person can be?
Getting You Over
80
but is it my own fault
if i keep creating
expectations
just to watch them
get broken?
Getting You Over
81
two days later
after you left
12:22pm
sitting in a cafe
had my coffee
but i couldn't drink it
all i did was saying
i'm sorry
to myself
over and over again
- i never fully understood what being hurt meant
until that day
Getting You Over
82
i saw this quote
hurt people hurt people
and i think about how
you hurt me
and i hurt myself
Getting You Over
83
i’m hungry
but i have no appetite
it's hard to be
when you have this feeling
inside your stomach
eating you out from within
Getting You Over
84
and that’s the thing
about people
who fall in and out of love
we only want someone
we can't have
Getting You Over
85
what is hurt?
hurt is pain
hurt is despair
hurt is overthinking
hurt is wanting revenge
hurt is wishful thinking
wondering if it would change anything
if they know how you feel
before convincing yourself
that it doesn't matter
because they don't know
and they don't care
and they don't care
Getting You Over
86
i still hear you
in song lyrics
when i stay up
too late at night
and yes,
it still hurts
Getting You Over
87
sometimes i wish
i never met you
so i wouldn't
know the feeling
of knowing you
but not being able to
have you around
Getting You Over
88
i wonder
which one hurt more
you not knowing
or me,
making up situations
in my head
over and over again
until it was too much to bear
Getting You Over
89
hurt is
being awake when you shouldn't
thinking about someone you shouldn't
evaluating all the things you shouldn’t
wondering where it went wrong
and blaming yourself for everything
hurt is
being awake for fifteen nights straight
completely exhausted but you still can’t sleep
the time is six in the morning
and you woke up with a mind full of thoughts
and you can't remember
if you drifted off at some point
or if you stayed awake for six hours straight
hurt is
repeating the same question
over and over again
trying to look for different conclusions
but coming to the same answer every time
perhaps it’s time for you to move on
but how the fuck did it come to this?
Getting You Over
90
the thing is
you only hurt me once,
i was the one who replayed
the same scenario
over and over in my head
making it worse
each time round
Getting You Over
91
i read the poem
you wrote about me
it was on an account
i forgot to unfollow
your two best friends
still follow me
on instagram
i know you are still
hanging out
with those friends you hate
i saw you on tiktok
on my fyp
and i watched it
your brother
still watches my stories
did you know that?
it's weird to know
so much about someone
who’s not part of your life
anymore
Getting You Over
92
life goes on without you
but living and surviving
is not the same thing
Getting You Over
93
if i were to see you now
i'm not even sure
how i will react
is it strange that
i just crave for your presence
without an actual reason?
Getting You Over
94
the saddest thing
in the world
is when you found
the right person
at the wrong time
Getting You Over
95
i spent a long time
wondering if i was too much
if people hurting me
meant more about me
than it did about them
i spent a long time
convincing myself that
the reason people left
was because of me
that i simply
wasn’t good enough
i spent a long time
thinking i was at fault
apologizing when i loved too much
apologizing when i cared too much
apologizing when people left
it was all me
it was all me
Getting You Over
96
i spent a long time
believing that happiness
don't belong to people like me
until i found you
and you convinced me otherwise
or at least that was until
you left
like everyone else
i spent a long time
trying to get over you
being pulled back
into my own darkness
everything i thought i'd never be
came back to me
i tried convincing myself otherwise
just like you did for me
but it wasn’t enough
but it wasn’t enough
i spent a long time
filling up this hole you left
except that i didn’t have much to give
and somehow the hole
just keeps getting bigger
Getting You Over
97
i spent a longtime
hurting
as if i haven’t already
spent my entire life
trying to get over this feeling
i spent a long time
thinking
you came
you saved me
and you left me
feeling more hurt than i did before
and i wonder
is this worth it
but then again
is anything worth it,
really?
Getting You Over
98
i wonder if i will ever see you again.
Getting You Over
99
it is strange
what i'm feeling
full of emotions
yet very empty
at the same time
Getting You Over
100
the fact that
it's not killing you
like it's killing me
says everything
Getting You Over
101
getting over you
was the strangest feeling
i ever had to experience
it was like
my mind knew the answers
but emotionally,
i needed to grieve
before i could be okay
again
Getting You Over
102
the only way
to get over someone
is to tell yourself
they are not coming back
Getting You Over
103
if i believed in myself
as much as i did in you
maybe it wouldn't
hurt so much
Getting You Over
104
it is the most
dangerous thing
when your biggest excitement
is another person
Getting You Over
105
i wrote so many letters
for you
that you will never get to read
- i'm not sure what to feel about that
Getting You Over
106
no one else made sense
until you
and nownothing makes sense
after you
Getting You Over
107
some nights,
i wonder
if it hurt you
as much as it hurt me
other nights,
i wonder
does it really matter?
Getting You Over
108
loving someone
should not feel like
a mistake
Getting You Over
109
i know one day
none of these
will mean anything
and you will just be
another funny story i tell
i know one day
this hurt will be gone
and i will find love
in someone else
or maybe even in myself
i know one day
you will think of me again
and honestly,
i hope i'm in a place
where i don't care about what you think
i know one day
i will look at all the things i've written
and it will feel like
this had never happened
Getting You Over
110
i know one day
you will become
an unfamiliar feeling
a foreign experience
from a past life
and i know one day
when that day comes
my journey here
will finally be
completed
Getting You Over
111
Getting You Over
112
the healing
Getting You Over
113
the end of us
is the beginning
of myself
Getting You Over
114
i can't remember the last time
i saw you on my instagram
it took me a long time
to get used to a life without you
there was a period of hurting
i had to get over quickly
i remember it would hurt
whenever i saw you on my feed
hanging out with people that are not me
being in the same places we've been together
the secret spots you showed me
that i'm no longer a part of
i remember it hurt
so I muted you on all my notifications
i tried to pretend you didn't exist
despite you being in my mind all the time
but at least i don’t see you on my instagram feed
i muted you for a long time
although i'd still go to your profile
like it’s a daily routine
like it's an addiction i can't get rid of
it's been awhile since then
and i’m going to your profile less and less
and you're still not appearing on my feed
although i think i might leave you on mute
forever
putting a pause to a chapter
Getting You Over
115
that probably will never come to a close
Getting You Over
116
the way someone leaves
tells you everything
you need to know
about them
Getting You Over
117
if it was meant to be
we would still be
together
Getting You Over
118
at the end of the day
the only person left
is yourself
Getting You Over
119
it took me awhile to learn
that when people say always
they don't always mean
always
Getting You Over
120
long train ride
journey home alone
it's a little cold tonight
but i'll be alright
phone lights up
wrong notification
maybe tonight isn’t the night
but i’ll be alright
it's almost 4am
can't sleep can’t stop thinking
gotta get up in 2 hours
but i'll be alright
brand new day
still stuck on yesterday
probably another cycle tonight
but i'll be alright
Getting You Over
121
stop waiting
for someone to choose you
decide yourself
if you want them
Getting You Over
122
it will hurt and it's okay to hurt, hurting is really
just another sign that you are growing, there will
come a day when all this pain will end and you will
come out of it a stronger person than before.
Getting You Over
123
sometimes
the closure
is no closure
Getting You Over
124
i don't want to
sit around waiting
like i'm an uncertainty
waiting to be chosen
give me all your attention
or give me none at all
if you can't be here fully
then don't be here at all
Getting You Over
125
if it's not a yes,
it's a no
- dating advice
Getting You Over
126
i wish
i could put the love
i give to other people
to myself
Getting You Over
127
you were okay before
you will be okay after
Getting You Over
128
if you ever think
about coming back
just know that
i don't want it anymore
Getting You Over
129
if they wanted to stay,
they would
Getting You Over
130
sometimes i wonder
if it was a mistake
loving someone so hard
and getting so badly hurt
in the process
but other times i know
that i would never have
known what love was
if i didn't
there is beauty
in loving someone
even if they don’t love you back
the same way
and for that
i regret nothing
Getting You Over
131
i used to think
that you were the one
that got away
but now i am glad
that you did
Getting You Over
132
you can't force people to love you. some feelings
are just unrequited.
Getting You Over
133
every time someone
breaks your heart
it comes back
a little stronger
Getting You Over
134
i got a text message from you
the other day
it's been exactly 272 days
i don't know what you said
because i didn’t open it
all i could think of was
do you remember
what the fuck you did tome
i was appalled
disgusted
the fucking audacity
to reach out
have you forgotten
because i have not
so there it sat
your message on unread
it was on that day
that i found my closure
i will never speak to you
ever again
Getting You Over
135
it took me a long time
to decide if it was time to leave
and when i left,
i stayed gone
Getting You Over
136
until you learn to let go
it will always be
haunting
Getting You Over
137
if you can survive this
you can survive
anything
Getting You Over
138
i truly don't care what you're doing with your life
anymore.
- i think that speaks volume
Getting You Over
139
in letting go
i found peace
and that is what
i will hold onto
Getting You Over
140
i notice life without you
is still beautiful
Getting You Over
141
to the person i was 6 months ago:
thank you for not giving up
Getting You Over
142
it's gonna hurt
for awhile
and then,
it will be alright
Getting You Over
143
in the end,
you were just another story
for me to tell
Getting You Over
144
the end