QUE: A PERSPECTIVE ON AGING
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Suzy Que: A Perspective on Aging
Student Name Here
Department of Psychology, University of North Florida
DEP4464: Psychology of Aging
Dr. Khia Thomas
Fall 2022
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Introduction
At the wonderful age of 74 years old, Suzy Que has worn many different hats. She has
been a Navy wife, a mother of two children, a substitute teacher, a bookkeeper, a cashier, and
what she holds nearest to her heart, a grandmother. The aging process is vastly different for
every unique individual, but fortunately for Mrs. Que, aging has brought patience, a love to
serve, and an abundance of gratitude.
Grandparenthood
Throughout the entirety of my interview with my grandmother, Mrs. Que, you always
knew she was talking about her grandkids by the way her face lit up with joy. Her first
grandchild came when she was 46 years old, her only son, Steven Que, had a baby girl, Hannah.
Not much later, her daughter, my mother, had Que’s third grandchild, my sister. As mentioned in
the text, becoming a grandparent is not a guaranteed part of the aging process and unlike other
roles, it “is your children’s decisions and actions that determine whether you experience the
transition to grandparenthood” (Cavanaugh & Blanchard-Fields, 2019). Fortunately though for
Que, becoming a grandparent was a role that she would take on, fully embrace, and describe as
“something special that no one could ever take away from [her].”
This bond between a grandma and her grandchildren has been increasingly studied to try
to better understand what exactly makes it so special. In a 2021 study by Rilling, Gonzalez, and
Lee, 50 grandmothers who had at least one 3–12 year-old grandchild were studied using
functional magnetic resonance imaging. Grandmothers were shown images of their grandchild,
an unknown child, and an image of the same-sex parent (often being their own child), as their
brain activity was being monitored. The images revealed that when viewing images of their
grandchildren, grandmas had activated areas in their insula and secondary somatosensory cortex,
QUE: A PERSPECTIVE ON AGING
which are involved in emotional empathy. Another interesting finding was that when grandmas
looked at images of their grandchild’s same-sex parent, more areas involved in cognitive
empathy were activated. While a parent- child relationship is typically loving and caring, a
grandma to grandchild relationship is often different in terms of the emotional connection and
empathy.
This special connection however is not only beneficial to the grandparent. The book
explains how grandchildren also highly value having relationships with their grandparents and
how many grandparents serve as role models to their grandchildren (Cavanaugh & BlanchardFields, 2019). A study based in England had over 1,500 secondary school kids complete a
questionnaire and found that greater grandparent involvement was associated with fewer
emotional problems and with more prosocial behavior (Attar-Schwartz et al., 2009). Personally,
getting to grow up with my grandma by my side, I feel I have benefited so much from her
influence in my life. As a woman in her 70s, she has experienced so many people and
relationships come and go, however, her persistent laugh, witty humor, and abiding relationship
with God has taught me immensely about what it means to be resilient. Married at 17, moved
across the country while her husband was in the Navy, experienced betrayal from her brother,
hardships with her son, disconnection from a grandchild; Mrs. Que, my grandmother, always
presses forward. She thanks God for the things in her life that He has blessed her with and does
her best to forgive and not focus on the things she can’t change. While Mrs. Que adamantly
expressed to me to not “make [her] out to be a saint,” I find this to be hard, when most all the
memories I have of my grandma are of generosity, love, and servitude.
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Generativity & Volunteerism
When Mrs. Que finally “retired” from her last job as a bookkeeper for a clothing hanger
manufacturer, most of her friends and family had barely noticed as she didn’t miss a beat to jump
to her next endeavor. Just around this time my mother had had her first child, my sister, Olivia,
and Mrs. Que saw my mom could use help watching her, so she began to “babysit” her 5 days a
week while my mom went to work. Going from an employee to full time nanny was not an easy
undertaking, however Mrs. Que expressed how much she enjoyed taking care of my sister and I,
and most of all, found joy knowing she was helping my mom. Generativity, a term coined by
famous psychologist, Erik Erikson, is defined in the text as “the feeling people must maintain
and perpetuate society,” (Cavanaugh & Blanchard-Fields, 2019). This shift in focusing on the
next generation and not being a “stagnant” member of society was something that Mrs. Que
embraced in her post-retirement life.
As mentioned, Mrs. Que began taking care of my sister as an infant but transitioned into
volunteering at her kindergarten class when she was too scared to go to school alone. From there,
Que found herself at Jacksonville Elementary, volunteering two full 7-hour school days, one for
my sister’s class, and one for my own. She became known as the infamous “Mrs. Suzy” and
would go student to student and quiz them on their multiplication tables. While Mrs. Que did
admit she loved messing around with the young kids and getting on their nerves, when asked
about why she kept volunteering at JE well after my sister and I left, Que explained, “when the
light bulb went off and they said ‘I understand that,’ that was a great feeling, just feeling that I
was a part of them helping to understand something.” This feeling of caring for the well-being of
others, also known as, generativity, was examined in a 6-week study on older women.
Researchers found that those in the generativity condition, who would journal about life
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experiences and share advice to others, had greater expectations regarding aging, perceived
levels of social support, and lower levels on loneliness (Moieni et al., 2020). This might also help
explain why being a grandmother is so rewarding to Mrs. Que: being able to share her memories,
humor, and above all else, her time, with kids she loves. Mrs. Que kind-heartedly said, “when I
can see my grandkids, great grandkids, they just perk me up. Everything is just wonderful. My
whole disposition changes!” While Que’s intention behind nannying, volunteering, and picking
up every opportunity she can to help her family, isn’t to benefit her mental health, it certainly has
had a positive effect on her based on the joy she expresses when serving others.
Health & Well-Being
Born in 1948, concepts like gerontology and mental health were not openly discussed and
as widely explored as they are today. Despite being outgoing and busy throughout adulthood
Que admits there has been a lack of emphasis on healthy habits in her life. “Back when I grew up
there wasn’t an emphasis on health. There was nothing to go by,” Que explained. With a healthy
daily diet and exercise routine often being a critical component in healthy aging, for those like
Que who were not aware of what a healthy lifestyle looked like growing up, adapting these new
changes can be extremely hard. Not only was Que raised not understanding what a balanced diet
looked like, she also was not allowed to even participate in a lot of the sports and activities she
was interested in because she was a girl. The text, among many other research articles and
publications, explains that exercise is among one of the most important factors in healthy aging,
and one of “the best ways to gain the benefits of aerobic exercise is to maintain physical fitness
throughout the life span,” (Cavanaugh & Blanchard-Fields, 2019). When asked about any
possible regrets about her lifestyle choices throughout adulthood, she confesses that, “I wish I
would have drunk more water and that I would’ve gotten into some form of exercise.”
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Like many other older adults, Que has a fluctuating appetite and sleep schedule. She eats
when she wants to and explained how some days, she might go all day without eating, just to
wake up the next morning and eat the entire next day. One of the funniest memories I have of my
grandma was when we went out to lunch a few weeks ago and she ordered just a milkshake.
When I asked her why, she told me how that morning she woke up at 4 AM and ate half a dozen
eggs so she wasn’t hungry for lunch! Serotonin, one of the major neurotransmitters involved in
sleep and appetite, has been shown to be abnormally processed as apart of normal aging
(Cavanaugh & Blanchard-Fields, 2019). This might help explain Mrs. Que’s inconsistent
appetite and fairly irregular sleep schedule.
Fortunately, though for Mrs. Que, despite what might not be the healthiest way of living,
she has experienced a primarily pain-free life. In her late 20s, Que was diagnosed with ovarian
cancer and had a hysterectomy which she described as the “best surgery ever!” And up until
three years ago in 2019, Que went to the doctor with an earache and left with an upcoming
appointment to have an AFib ablation. Despite feeling an increase in breathlessness post-surgery,
Que has had no further heart or other serious medical conditions. According to a 2008 National
Health Survey conducted by the CDC, over 87% of females aged 65 years and older have one or
more chronic conditions (Center for Disease Control and Prevention [CDC], 2015). Que is
extremely thankful for her good health late in life and expressed, “I am very blessed. I wake up
with no aches and pains, no headaches, no hips, no back. No nothing. I can get up and walk
around. I don’t do everything I want to do but there’s not much I can’t do.” For a woman in her
70s, this is truly an anomaly; and Que knows it. While Que might no longer be able to do
cartwheels, go down the slide with her great-grandchildren, or go roller-skating, she is extremely
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thankful for such healthy aging, the opportunity to get to be a grandma, and still being able to
love and give back to the people she cares most deeply about.
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References
Attar-Schwartz, S., Tan, J.-P., Buchanan, A., Flouri, E., & Griggs, J. (2009). Grandparenting and
adolescent adjustment in two-parent biological, Lone-parent, and step-families. Journal of
Family Psychology, 23(1), 67–75. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0014383
Cavanaugh, J. C., & Blanchard-Fields, F. (2019). Adult development and aging. Cengage
Learning.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2015, November 6). Health policy data requests percent of U.S. adults 55 and over with chronic conditions. Centers for Disease Control
and Prevention. Retrieved December 8, 2022, from
https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/health_policy/adult_chronic_conditions.htm
Moieni, M., Seeman, T. E., Robles, T. F., Lieberman, M. D., Okimoto, S., Lengacher, C., Irwin,
M. R., & Eisenberger, N. I. (2020). Generativity and social well-being in older women:
Expectations regarding aging matter. The Journals of Gerontology: Series B, 76(2), 289–
294. https://doi.org/10.1093/geronb/gbaa022
Rilling, J. K., Gonzalez, A., & Lee, M. (2021). The neural correlates of grandmaternal
caregiving. Proceedings of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 288(1963).
https://doi.org/10.1098/rspb.2021.1997