ESSENTIALS OF
SOFT SKILLS
(Supportive Course – II for PG Courses)
Prepared by:
Dr. Ezhilarasan. M
Head & Associate Professor
Mr. Rajasekaran.M
Dean – Student support Services
Department Of Business Administration
Ayya Nadar Janaki Ammal College,
Sivakasi.
Published By:
Curriculum Development Cell
Ayya Nadar Janaki Ammal College (Autonomous), Sivakasi,
Tamilnadu, India – 626124
i
ESSENTIALS OF SOFT SKILLS
(Supportive Course – II for PG Courses)
ISBN: 978-93-83191-24-6
First Edition – 2017
Second Edition - 2020
Prepared by:
Dr. Ezhilarasan. M
Head & Associate Professor
Mr. Rajasekaran.M
Dean – Student support Services
Department Of Business Administration
Ayya Nadar Janaki Ammal College,
Sivakasi.
Published by:
Curriculum Development Cell,
Ayya Nadar Janaki Ammal College,
Sivakasi, Tamil Nadu, India – 626 124.
(For Private Circulation only)
ii
Dr. V. PANDIYARAJAN
M.Sc., M. Phil., B.Ed., Ph.D.
PRINCIPAL
AYYA NADAR JANAKI AMMAL COLLEGE
(Autonomous, College of Excellence affiliated to Madurai Kamaraj University)
(Reaccredited with A Grade earning 3.67 out of 4 in the 3rd cycle by NAAC)
SIVAKASI, TAMIL NADU, INDIA - 626 124.
Office
:
(04562) 254100
Resi
:
222200
Fax
:
254970
E-mail
: principal@anjaconline.org
Website :
www.anjaconline.org
---------------------------------------------------------------------------Preface to First Edition
Autonomy has enabled us to make several initiatives with regard
to the framing of the course scheme for the benefit of students who enter
the portals of this college in their pursuit of higher education. Introduction
of a Supportive Paper – II on soft skills in the PG courses offered by our
college is one such attempt and hope this would be very useful to our
students when they face interviews and enter the job market. This paper
has been designed in such a way to develop the personality of our students
through a course work that would benefit the students in their career.
I acknowledge the contributions of Dr. M. Ezhilarasan, Head &
Associate Professor in Business Administration and Mr. M. Rajasekaran,
Dean – Student support Services of our college in the preparation of the
study materials for the effective conduct of this component. I am sure this
will lessen the burden on both the teachers and students by enabling
effective teaching and efficient learning.
I appreciate the efforts taken by Dr. L. Isaiarasu, Dean –
Curriculum Development Cell of our college in bringing out the
publication of this book for the benefit of our students.
I wish that this book helps our students to understand the subject
and serve as a valuable study material to score maximum marks.
November, 2017
V. PANDIYARAJAN
iii
Dr. C. ASHOK
AYYA NADAR JANAKI AMMAL COLLEGE
B.Sc., M.P.Ed., D.Y.Med., M.Phil, Ph.D.
(Autonomous, College of Excellence affiliated to Madurai Kamaraj University)
PRINCIPAL
(Reaccredited with A Grade earning 3.48 out of 4 in the 4th cycle by NAAC)
SIVAKASI,TAMILNADU,INDIA-626124.
Office
:
(04562) 254100
Resi
:
222200
Fax
:
254970
E-mail
: principal@anjaconline.org
Website :
www.anjaconline.org
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Preface to Second Edition
Education in real sense is emancipation and it should aim at the
holistic development of the learner to meet the real life situations. In our
day-to-day communications we hear people using the word - Personality.
Each individual behaves in a different way to the same stimulus. For the
holistic development of the individual, an understanding of personality
and its role in social living becomes inevitable.
Introduction of a paper on soft skills in the Course Scheme of all
PG Degree Courses offered in our college has been attempted to enable
our students to develop their soft skills and take up confidently any social
responsibility.
Since, this paper is offered to a large spectrum of students, steps
have been taken by the Curriculum Development Cell to make this paper
acceptable to the students and at the same time useful for their career.
Accordingly, this book has been prepared by a dedicated team of Staff
members, Dr. M. Ezhilarasan, Head & Associate Professor in Business
Administration and Mr. M. Rajasekaran, Dean – Student support Services
of our college for the effective imparting of this component. I am sure this
will reduce the burden on both the teachers and students by enabling
effective teaching and efficient learning.
December 2020
C ASHOK
iv
CONTENT
Topic
Unit I- Personality And Attitude
Meaning of Personality
Personality Traits
Physical Traits
Mental Traits
Social Traits
Moral Traits
Factors Affecting Personality
Self Concept
Definitions of Self-Concept
Components of Self-Concept
Domains of Self-Concept
Carl Roger’s Self Concept
Self Image
Self Esteem
Ideal Self
Congruence and Incongruence
Self Awareness
Definition of Attitude
Components of Attitudes
Attitude Building
Functionalist Theory
Learning Theory
Cognitive Dissonance Theory
Unit I – Check Your Progress
Unit II: Interpersonal Skills
Emotional Skills
Classifying Emotions
Meaning of Emotional Intelligence
Goleman's Model of Emotional Intelligence
Bar-On's Model of Emotional Intelligence
Developing emotional skills
Sensitivity Training
Definition of Sensitivity Training
Importance of Sensitivity Training
Goals of Sensitivity Training
Procedure of Sensitivity Training
Outcomes of Sensitivity Training
Transactional Analysis
Basic Terms of Transactional Analysis
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Ego States
Types of Transactions
Life (or Childhood) Script
Redefining and Discounting
Meaning of Conflict
Levels of Conflict
Role of Conflict
Functional versus dysfunctional conflict
Five stages conflict process model
Resolving Conflicts
Approaches to Handling Conflict
Johari Window
Unit II – Check Your Progress
Unit III: Leadership and Communication
Leadership
Definition
Characteristics of Leadership
Functions of A Leader
Leadership Styles
Leadership Development Programme
Meaning of Communication
Process of Communication
Characteristics of Communication
Functions of Communication
Different Types of Communication
Written Vs. Oral Communication
Downward, Upward & Horizontal Communication
Formal & Informal Communication
Barriers to Communication
Process Barriers
Physical Barriers
Semantic Barriers
Psychosocial Barriers
Overcoming Barriers and Improving Effectiveness
Sender's Responsibilities
Receiver's Responsibilities
Active Listening
Unit III – Check Your Progress
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Essentials of Soft Skills
UNIT I- PERSONALITY AND ATTITUDE
In our day-to-day communications we hear people using the
word - Personality. People comment someone to have an appealing
personality and another to have a poor personality. But, when we
closely analyse the meaning they convey, we find that they are often
either inappropriate or at times even if appropriate, incomplete. We
normally use personality to mean physical appearances alone. Does
it convey the real meaning?
If we are to accept personality to mean only physical
appearance, why do we say that physically unappealing persons like
Bernard Shaw, or, Napoleon, or Socrates to be compelling
personalities?
Personality, thus imply something more than
physical appearance.
Meaning of Personality
“Personality is the sum totality of all traits possessed by an
individual”.
Each individual behaves in a different way to the same
stimulus. The one which determines each such behaviour is known
as trait. A trait is a single characteristic. It can be physical,
physiological, or psychological. For example, if a man does not
bother much about money and spends lavishly, he is called an
extravagant, which forms a characteristic trait. According to Robins
S. P, “personality is the sum total of the ways in which an individual
reacts and interacts with others.”
Personality Traits
Personality is the sum total of behaviours, attitudes, beliefs,
and values that are characteristic of an individual. Our personality
traits determine how we adjust to our environment and how we react
in specific situations. No two individuals would have the same
personalities.
There have always been issues relating to whether
personality is inborn or learned. The answer for this is simple.
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Dr. Ezhilarasan. M & Dr. Rajasekaran. M
Personality is both inborn as well as learned. There are many factors
which do affect the personality of man.
Important Personality Traits
Physical Traits
1. Brain Maturity
2. Appearance
3. Posture
4. Voice
Mental Traits
Social Traits
1. Alertness
2. Creativity
3. Initiative
4. Memory
5. Self-confidence
1. Communication
2. Empathy
3. Tolerance
4. Sympathy
5. Co-operation
Moral Traits
1. Honesty
2. Reliability
3. Loyalty
4. Industry
Physical Traits:
Physical traits are those characteristic features related to the bodily
nature of the individual. There are so many physical traits that need
to be discussed, but, the ones mentioned are only a suggestive list.
1. Brain Maturity: One of the most important trait that affects the
personality of the individual is the extent to which the brain of the
person is matured. In many cases, personality disorders are caused
because of the functional inability of the brain.
2. Appearance: The way in which the individual looks like is
another trait. Some people are tall, some are short, some are fat,
some are lean, some are handsome and beautiful, some are ugly. In
addition to this, the way in which an individual grooms oneself is an
important trait.
a. Dress: Each individual has a unique way of dressing.
Although there are codes of dressing, still the dressing style of
each individual is different.
b. Hair style: As is the case of dress, so is the case of hair style
also. Each individual has one’s own way of hair style. Some
maintain long hair, some maintain short hair. Some have curly
hair; some have streaky hair.
c. Cleanliness: The way and extent to which individuals keep
them clean also vary from person to person. Some keep
themselves very clean while few others bother less about their
cleanliness.
2
Essentials of Soft Skills
d. Facial composure: It could be observed that some people
always have a smiling face while few others have a frowning
face. Facial expressions and body language differs from
person to person.
3. Posture: The way in which an individual poses is called posture.
It can be seen that some people always stand, sit, or walk erect,
while some are sluggish. This is also a very important physical trait.
4. Voice: As we observe people, it could be found that the volume
at which they talk vary widely. Some are very soft while others are
very loud.
Mental Traits:
Mental traits are those characteristic features related to the mind or
psychological nature of the individual. There are so many mental
traits that need to be discussed, but, the ones mentioned is only a
suggestive list.
1. Alertness: Alertness is the extent to which an individual is aware
of the happenings around and react to situational requirements. This
varies according to individuals. Some ate very alert, that is, quick to
react, while a few others are very slow to react, that is, less alert.
2. Creativity: Creativity is the extent to which an individual is able
to think in a new perspective or in a novel way. This also varies
from one individual to the other. Some are very original and
creative while few others are dull and non-creative.
3. Initiative: Initiative is the extent to which an individual is able to
do things by oneself without the need for others to push them to do.
It can be seen that some are able to start doing things by themselves
without others asking them or forcing them, while few others would
do only when someone forces them. There are also people who
don’t even do after someone forces them.
4. Memory: Memory is the ability to store and retrieve things. We
learn many things in our day life. Are we able to remember
everything we learn? This capacity to remember is called memory.
There are few who can remember almost everything they learn,
while there are few others who forget thing very soon and quickly.
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Dr. Ezhilarasan. M & Dr. Rajasekaran. M
5. Self-confidence: Self-confidence is the extent to which an
individual is having trust and belief in one’s own abilities and skills.
This varies from person to person.
Social Traits:
1. Communication: Communication is the ability to exchange
ideas/facts/ opinion from one person to the other. There is a wide
range in the forms of communication. There is a very wide variation
in the extent to which individuals are able to effectively
communicate. Some people are able to communicate clearly,
completely, and cohesively, while few others are not able to do so.
2. Empathy: Empathy is the nature of the individual to understand
a problem from the other person’s viewpoint.
3. Tolerance: Tolerance is the extent to which an individual is able
to withstand and accept things. Some can stay totally unaffected
whatever happens to them while few others get upset very quickly.
4. Sympathy: Sympathy is the nature of feeling for others. This is
the ability to understand and sense what the other person is doing or
saying as if it was done by oneself. This is complementary to
empathy.
5. Co-operation: Co-operation is the ability of an individual to
work with and get work from a group. Some people are able to cooperate willingly and openly, while few others are not able to cope
up with others.
Moral Traits:
1. Honesty: Honesty is the nature of an individual to be truthful to
oneself. Some people are very honest and truthful that they would
not do anything wrong even when they are alone, while few others
are not that way even in public.
2. Reliability: Reliability is the nature of an individual to be
depended upon. It may be found that people confide with someone
saying that the particular person is the trustworthy one. People also
give and get works from someone saying the same reason.
3. Loyalty: Loyalty is the nature of an individual to act in a
trustworthy manner for others. When an individual is in a group the
4
Essentials of Soft Skills
person would be expected to maintain certain amount loyalty to the
group. Some are loyal and a few others are disloyal.
4. Industry: Industry is the nature of an individual to work hard. It
could be found that some are very hard-working. They take every
matter and work to their full extent in accomplishing the work or
achieving the goal. There are others who are very lazy and try to
avoid each and every work given to them or fail to do what they
have to do.
Factors affecting Personality
Personality is affected by some factors. These factors might be put
in simple form as follows:
a) Cultural factors: The personality of man is affected by the
culture of his origin. Wherever they are Indians are Indians
basically. Peripheral aspects might have changed, but, deep
inside a Tamilian is a Tamilian without doubt.
b) Socialisation Process: At times, we find that in-spite-of original
characteristics an individual possesses, behaviour seems to have
changed with societal environment changes. There is a wellknown proverb, "Tell me your friend, I shall tell your character".
The impact of the social climate in which an individual interacts
is manifested in his personality.
c) Family factors: Many a times we come across very good
resemblances in the behavioural pattern between the parent and
their kids. This means that family factors do affect personality.
The issue of family factors may be discussed under two key
areas.
(i) Parental Influence: The influence of parents upon the
children, and
(ii) Birth Order: The order of birth of the individual, for
example, whether someone is the first born, the last born, the
only one, or one among the many.
d) Personal or Individual factors: In addition to these three basic
factors, certain individual factors, do affect the personality.
(i) Heredity: The characteristics of our forefathers affect our
personality through the transfer of the heredity genes to our
system.
5
Dr. Ezhilarasan. M & Dr. Rajasekaran. M
(ii) Brain: The extent to which there is mental maturity affects
the personality.
(iii)Bio-feedback or Hormones: It is now a universally accepted
and scientific that there are certain hormones which control
the personality of individuals.
(iv) Physical Characters: Physical characteristics like height,
weight, size, shape, and complexion affect human
personality. It was because Napoleon felt inferior about his
height that he worked hard to become a great dictator.
Hence, outward physical characters do affect the personality
of an individual.
SELF CONCEPT:
“Knowing others is wisdom… knowing yourself is
Enlightenment.”-Tao Tzu.
What Is Self-Concept?
Self-concept is the image that we have of ourselves. How
exactly does this self-image form and change over time? This image
develops in a number of ways, but is particularly influenced by our
interactions with important people in our lives.
Definitions of Self Concept
"Self-concept is our perception or image of our abilities and
our uniqueness. At first one's self-concept is very general and
changeable... As we grow older, these self-perceptions become
much more organized, detailed, and specific."
"A self-concept is a collection of beliefs about one's own
nature, unique qualities, and typical behaviour. Your self-concept is
your mental picture of yourself. It is a collection of self-perceptions.
For example, a self-concept might include such beliefs as 'I am
easygoing' or 'I am pretty' or 'I am hardworking.'
"The individual self consists of attributes and personality
traits that differentiate us from other individuals (for example,
'introverted'). The relational self is defined by our relationships with
significant others (for example, 'sister'). Finally, the collective self
reflects our membership in social groups (for example, 'British')."
6
Essentials of Soft Skills
Components of Self-Concept
Like many topics within psychology, a number of theorists
have proposed different ways of thinking about self-concept.
According to a theory known as social identity theory, self-concept
is composed of two key parts: personal identity and social identity.
Our personal identity includes such things as personality traits and
other characteristics that make each person unique. Social identity
includes the groups we belong to including our community, religion,
college, and other groups.
Domains of Self-Concept
Bracken suggested that there are six specific domains related
to self-concept:
1. Social - the ability to interact with others
2. Competence - ability to meet basic needs
3. Affect - awareness of emotional states
4. Physical - feelings about looks, health, physical condition,
and overall appearance
5. Academic - success or failure in school
6. Family - how well one functions within the family unit
Carl Rogers’ Self-Concept:
Psychologist Carl Rogers believed that there are three
different parts of self-concept:
Self Image: The view you have of yourself
Self Esteem or self-worth: How much value you place on
yourself
Ideal Self: What you wish you were really like
Self-image (or how you see yourself): It is important to realize that
self-image does not necessarily coincide with reality. People might
have an inflated self-image and believe that they are better at things
than they really are. Conversely, people are also prone to having
negative self-images and perceive or exaggerate flaws or
weaknesses. For example, a teenage boy might believe that he is
clumsy and socially awkward when he is really quite charming and
likeable. A teenage girl might believe that she is overweight, when
she is really quite thin. This does not necessarily have to reflect
7
Dr. Ezhilarasan. M & Dr. Rajasekaran. M
reality. Indeed a person with anorexia who is thin may have a self
image in which the person believes they are fat. A person's self
image is affected by many factors, such as parental influences,
friends, the media etc.
Each individual's self-image is
probably a mix of different aspects including your physical
characteristics, personality traits, and social roles.
The list of answers to the question “Who Am I?” probably
include examples of each of the following four types of responses:
1) Physical Description: I’m tall, have blue eyes...etc.
2) Social Roles: We are all social beings whose behaviour is
shaped to some extent by the roles we play. Such roles as
student, housewife, or member of the football team not only
help others to recognize us but also help us to know what is
expected of us in various situations.
3) Personality Traits: These are a third dimension of our selfdescriptions. “I’m impulsive...I’m generous...I tend to worry
a lot”...etc.
4) Existential Statements (abstract ones): These can range
from "I’m a child of the universe" to "I’m a human being" to
"I’m a spiritual being"...etc.
Self-esteem (or how much you value yourself): A number of
different factors can impact self-esteem, including how we compare
ourselves to others and how others respond to us. When people
respond positively to our behaviour, we are more likely to develop
positive self-esteem. When we compare ourselves to others and find
ourselves lacking, it can have a negative impact on our self-esteem.
Self esteem refers to the extent to which we like accept or approve
of ourselves or how much we value ourselves. Self esteem always
involves a degree of evaluation and we may have either a positive or
a negative view of ourselves.
High Self Esteem i.e. we have a positive view of ourselves.
This tends to lead to
 Confidence in our own abilities
 Self acceptance
 Not worrying about what others think
 Optimism
8
Essentials of Soft Skills
Low Self Esteem i.e. we have a negative view of ourselves.
This tends to lead to
 Lack of confidence
 Want to be/look like someone else
 Always worrying what others might think
 Pessimism
Factors Influencing Self Esteem
Argyle propounds 4 factors that influence self esteem.
1) Reaction of Others: If people admire us, flatter us, seek out
our company, listen attentively and agree with us we tend to
develop a positive self-image. If they avoid us, neglect us;
tell us things about ourselves that we don’t want to hear we
develop a negative self-image.
2) Comparison with Others: If the people we compare
ourselves with (our reference group) appear to be more
successful, happier, richer, better looking than ourselves we
tend to develop a negative self image BUT if they are less
successful than us our image will be positive.
3) Social Roles: Some social roles carry prestige e.g. doctor,
pilot, professor, district collector and this promotes selfesteem. Other roles carry stigma. E.g. prisoner, mental
hospital patient, or unemployed person.
4) Identification: Roles aren’t just “out there.” They also
become part of our personality i.e. we identity with the
positions we occupy, the roles we play and the groups we
belong to.
Ideal self (how you wish you could be): In many cases, the way we
see ourselves and how we would like to see ourselves do not quite
match up. If there is a mismatch between how you see yourself (e.g.
your self-image) and what you’d like to be (e.g. your ideal self) then
this is likely to affect how much you value yourself. Therefore,
there is an intimate relationship between self-image, ego-ideal and
self-esteem.
Congruence and Incongruence
Our self-concept is not alwayd perfect. Some students might
believe that they are great at academics, but their grade sheets might
tell a different story. According to Carl Rogers, the degree to which
9
Dr. Ezhilarasan. M & Dr. Rajasekaran. M
self-concept of an individual matches up to reality is known as
congruence – if it matches, or if it does not match – incongruence.
While we all tend to distort reality to certain extent, congruence
occurs when self-concept is fairly well aligned to reality.
Incongruence happens when reality does not match up to our selfconcept.
Rogers believed that incongruence has its earliest roots in
childhood. When parents place conditions on their affection for their
children (only expressing love if children "earn it" through certain
behaviours and living up to the parents' expectations), children
begin to distort the memories of experiences that leave them feeling
unworthy of their parents' love.
Where a person’s ideal self and actual experience are
consistent or very similar, a state of congruence exists. Rarely, if
ever does a total state of congruence exist; all people experience a
certain amount of incongruence. The development of congruence is
dependent on unconditional positive regard. Roger’s believed that
for a person to achieve self-actualization they must be in a state of
congruence.
Self Awareness:
Awareness is the first step in the process of development. As
you grow in self-awareness, you will better understand what you
feel, why you feel, and why you behave so. Having clarity about
who you are, what you want and why you want empowers you to
consciously and actively move towards and make those wants a
reality. A lacking of self awareness will get you “caught up” in your
own internal dilemmas and unknown beliefs, allowing vague
thought processes that determine your feelings and actions
10
Essentials of Soft Skills
ATTITUDE:
Definition of Attitude:
Attitude is a favourable or unfavourable evaluative reaction
toward something or someone exhibited in ones beliefs, feelings, or
intended behaviour. It is a social orientation - an underlying
inclination to respond to something either favourably or
unfavourably.
Factors of attitudes:
a. Cognitive or Knowledge - our thoughts, beliefs, and ideas
about something. When a human being is the object of an
attitude, the cognitive component is frequently a stereotype,
e.g. "welfare recipients are lazy"
b. Affective or Emotional - feelings or emotions that
something evokes, e.g. fear, sympathy, hate. dislike for
welfare schemes.
c. Conative or Behavioural - tendency or disposition to act in
certain ways toward something. Emphasis is on the tendency
to act, not the actual acting; what we intend and what we do
may be quite different.
Attitude Building:
1. Functionalist theory: Daniel Katz proposed a functionalist theory
of attitudes. He takes the view that attitudes are determined by the
functions they serve for us. People hold given attitudes because
these attitudes help them achieve their basic goals. Katz
distinguishes four types of psychological functions that attitudes
meet.
a. Instrumental - we develop favourable attitudes towards
things that aid or reward us. We want to maximize rewards
and minimize penalties. Katz says we develop attitudes that
help us meet this goal. We are more likely to change our
attitudes if doing so allows us to fulfil our goals or avoid
undesirable consequences.
b. Knowledge - attitudes provide meaningful, structured
environment. In life we seek some degree of order, clarity,
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Dr. Ezhilarasan. M & Dr. Rajasekaran. M
and stability in our personal frame of reference. Attitudes
help supply us with standards of evaluation.
c. Value-expressive - Express basic values reinforce selfimage. EX: We may have a self-image of ourselves as an
enlightened conservative or a militant radical, and we
therefore cultivate attitudes that we believe indicate such a
core value.
d. Ego-defensive - Some attitudes serve to protect us from
acknowledging basic truths about ourselves or the harsh
realities of life. They serve as defence mechanisms. EX:
Those with feelings of inferiority may develop attitude of
superiority.
2. Learning theory: (stresses attitude formation). There are several
means by which we learn attitudes.
a. Classical conditioning: When two stimuli are repeatedly
associated, the child learns to respond to them with a similar
emotional reaction. In this case, the stimuli are attitude topic
and parental emotion. Through repeated association, a
formerly neutral stimulus (the attitude topic - taxes or
politicians) begins to elicit an emotional reaction (the
response) that was previously solicited only by another
stimulus (the parental emotion). Whenever tax increases are
mentioned, the child feels an unpleasant emotion; when the
elected official is mentioned, the child feels a pleasant
emotion. EX: Men with bow ties. Meet a bad man who
wears bow ties, and you may come to hate all bow ties.
b. Instrumental, or operant conditioning: Behaviours or
attitudes that are followed by positive consequences are
reinforced and are more likely to be repeated than are
behaviours and attitudes that are followed by negative
consequences. EX: People agree with your opinion.
c. Observational learning: Children watch the behaviour of
people around them and imitate what they see. EX: If a
young girl hears her mother denounce all elected officials as
crooks, she may repeat that opinion in class the next day.
Whether she continues to repeat that opinion depends on the
responses of her classmates, teacher, and parents. That is,
12
Essentials of Soft Skills
observations determine the responses we learn, but
reinforcement determines the responses we express.
3. Cognitive dissonance theory: (stresses attitude change - and that
behaviours can determine attitudes) Cognition is individual’s
perception of own attitudes, beliefs, and behaviours. Cognitive
dissonance is feelings of tension that arise when one is
simultaneously aware of two inconsistent cognitions. For example,
when we act contrary to our attitudes; or, when we make a decision
favouring one alternative despite reasons favouring another.
o Dissonance theory says relationships among two cognitions
can be consonant, dissonant, or irrelevant
o Individual will attempt to reduce or eliminate dissonance and will try to avoid things that increase dissonance.
o Cognitive dissonance can be reduced or eliminated only by
(a) adding new cognitions, or (b) changing existing ones.
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Dr. Ezhilarasan. M & Dr. Rajasekaran. M
UNIT I – Check Your Progress:
I. Choose the appropriate answer:
1. CO1-K1 Trait comprises of __________.
a. physical
b. physiological
c. psychological
d. all the above
2. CO1-K1 __________ is a Physical trait.
a. Appearance b. Initiative
c. Sympathy
d. Loyalty
3. CO1-K1 __________ is a Moral trait.
a. Appearance b. Initiative
c. Sympathy
d. Loyalty
4. CO1-K1__________ is a family factor affecting personality.
a. Brain
b. Culture
c. Birth order
d. Heredity
5. CO1-K2 All are elements of self concept except ___________.
a. Self Image
b. Self Esteem c. Self Pity
d. Ideal Self
6. CO1-K2 __________ is how you wish you could be.
a. Ideal Self
b. Self Esteem c. Self Image
d. Self Pity
7. CO1-K2 Congruence appears when self image and ideal self __.
a. Matches
b. Differs
c. Varies
d. Diverges
8. CO1-K2 Having clarity about who you are is _________.
a. Self Esteem b. Self Image
c. Self Ideal
d. Self Awareness
9. CO2-K3 __________ is the extent of liking.
a. Personality
b. Perception
c. Attitude
d. Value
10. CO2-K3 __________ is the knowledge element of Attitude.
a. Affective
b. Conative
c. Cognitive
d. Behavioural
11. CO2-K3 __________ is the emotional element of Attitude.
a. Conative
b. Cognitive
c. Affective
d. Behavioural
12. CO2-K3 When attitude serves a purpose it becomes______.
a. Functional
b. Learning
c. Dissonance d. Perceptual
13. CO3-K4 Conditioning is an example of __________ theory.
a. Functional
b. Learning
c. Cognitive
d. Perceptual
14. CO3-K4 _______ is individual’s perception of own attitudes.
a. Perception b. Action
c. Affection
d. Cognition
15. CO3-K4 Cognitive dissonance is feelings of __________.
a. Attitude
b. Action
c. Tension
d. Approach
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Essentials of Soft Skills
II. Write short answers for the following:
1. CO1-K1 Define attitude.
2. CO1-K1 Define personality.
3. CO1-K1 Define self concept.
4. CO1-K2 Explain cognitive element of attitude.
5. CO1-K2 Explain self image.
6. CO1-K2 List physical traits of personality.
7. CO2-K3 Why are family factors important in personality?
8. CO2-K3 Differentiate personal identity from social identity.
9. CO2-K3 Differentiate social from moral traits of personality.
10. CO2-K3 Illustrate behavioural component of attitude.
11. CO3-K4 Illustrate Conative component of attitude.
12. CO3-K4 Analyse ideal self.
13. CO3-K4 Examine operant and classical conditioning.
14. CO3-K4 Examine personal factors affecting personality.
15. CO3-K4 Analyse self esteem.
III. Write elaborate answers for the following:
1. CO1-K2 What are the various physical traits of personality?
2. CO1-K2 What are the various mental traits of personality?
3. CO1-K2 Explain the various Social traits of personality?
4. CO2-K3 Examine the various factors affecting personality.
5. CO2-K3 Examine the components and domains of self concept.
6. CO2-K3 Distinguish Carl Roger’s self concepts.
7. CO2-K3 Distinguish the components of attitude.
8. CO3-K4 Apply the functionalist theories of attitude to a
situation of your choice.
9. CO3-K4 Discuss learning theories of attitude.
10. CO3-K4 Analyse the cognitive dissonance theory of attitude.
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Dr. Ezhilarasan. M & Dr. Rajasekaran. M
UNIT II: EMOTIONAL SKILLS
EMOTIONAL SKILLS
Emotions have been portrayed as reflections of life
satisfaction or signals of specific actions. Emotions either positive
or negative determine how adaptive we are in our daily lives.
Adolescence is considered as time of marked emotional upheaval
and turmoil. The adjustment in one's life depends much upon the
emotion intelligence, social intelligence rather on the academic or
general intelligence. Mainly there are three types of intelligence: (1)
General, (2) Social and (3) Emotional.
General Intelligence is the ability to solve problems and to
adapt to and learn from life’s everyday experiences. Whenever one
talks about intelligence, the phrase that springs into our minds is
'Intelligence Quotient' more commonly referred to as IQ – measure
of intelligence that takes into account a person’s mental and
chronological age. Intelligence is more of a result of an individual's
opportunities to learn skills and information in a particular situation.
Thorndike defined social intelligence as "The ability to
understand men and women, boys and girls to act wisely in human
relation". It emphasizes three main elements which are: capacity of
social towards society; social knowledge and individual's capacity
for social adjustments.
Classifying Emotions
Because emotions exist in such a variety of forms and
intensities, the task of classification is difficult. Although many
different systems of classification have been proposed, there is as
yet no universal agreement among psychologists on any single
classification. Nevertheless, a number of distinctions are commonly
used.
These include distinctions between (i) positive and negative
emotions, (ii) primary and mixed emotions, (iii) opposite emotions,
and (iv) degree of emotional intensity.
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Essentials of Soft Skills
Meaning of Emotional Intelligence:
The non-cognitive aspects of intellectual behavior were
realized by Weschsler. Salovey and Mayer coined the term
‘emotional intelligence’ in 1990. They described emotional
intelligence as “a form of social intelligence that involves the ability
to monitor one's own and others feelings and emotions, to
discriminate among them, and to use this information to guide one's
thinking and action”.
Elements of Emotional Intelligence:
Goleman's Model of Emotional Intelligence:
Goleman presents a model of social intelligence that
includes the synergistic interplay of brain and biology. In his model,
social intelligence is organized into two broad categories: social
awareness and social faculty.
1. Social awareness;
The first category of social intelligence, social awareness
encompasses primal empathy, attunement, empathic accuracy and
social cognition.
(a) Primal empathy is the ability to sense and make meaning of
another's non verbal emotional signals, communicated
unconsciously through facial muscles.
(b) Attunement refers to the ability to listen with full receptive
capabilities. When faculty members focus attention on the
individual speaking, they are making an effort to connect on a
personal level by listening intentionally.
(c) Empathetic accuracy has to do with understanding another
person's thoughts in the area of empathetic accuracy suggests that
our reading of the thoughts and feelings of others can be accurate.
(d) Social cognition is an understanding of the norms and mores of
a changing environment.
2. Social Faculty:
Social faculty encompasses synchrony, self presentation, influence
and concern.
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Dr. Ezhilarasan. M & Dr. Rajasekaran. M
(a) Synchrony refers to smooth interaction by an individual at the
nonverbal level. Since much of our communication in nonverbal, we
perform a mostly unconscious social dance that causes individuals
to react to social cues without thinking about it.
(b) Self presentation is the ability to present oneself effectively.
(c) Influence is the understanding of and ability to shape the
outcomes of social interactions.
(d) Concern extends the idea of empathy by adding action and
caring about other's need and then behaving accordingly.
Goleman created a model which is characterized by five
broad areas:
(a) Knowing one's emotions- Observing and recognizing a feeling
as it happens.
(b) Managing emotion- Handling feeling to that they are
appropriate; realizing what is behind a feeling, ways to handle fears
and anxieties; anger and sadness.
(c) Motivating oneself- Channelling emotions in the service of a
goal; emotional self-control, delaying gratification and stifling
impulses.
(d) Empathy- Sensitivity to others; feeling and concerns and taking
their perspectives; appreciating the difference in "how people feel
about things".
(e) Handling relationship- Managing emotions in others; social
competence and social skills, self-awareness is the essential
dimensions of social intelligence.
Bar-On's Model of Emotional Intelligence:
In Reuven Bar-On's model of emotional intelligence,
distinctions are made between five domains: interpersonal skill and
the intrapersonal skill, adaptability, stress management and mood.
(a) Intrapersonal domain- It includes skills of emotional selfawareness, self-regard, assertiveness, independence, and selfactualization. In it, an emotional self-awareness is the ability to
recognize and understand one's own emotions. Assertiveness is
the ability to express one's thoughts, beliefs and feelings in a
nonaggressive way so as to define one's rights. Independence is
the ability to be self-directed and self-controlled in one's
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Essentials of Soft Skills
thinking and action and to be free of emotional dependency.
Self-regard refers to the ability to understand, accept and respect
oneself. Self-actualization is the ability to realize one's potential
and to achieve goals that one wants to attain.
(b) Interpersonal domain- The following skills fall into the
interpersonal domain: empathy, social responsibility and
interpersonal relationships.
(c)Adaptability domain- Problem solving reality testing and
flexibility are the skills which constitute the adaptability domain.
Problem solving is the ability to identify the social and interpersonal
problems, define them in solvable terms and generate and
implement effective solutions. Reality testing is the ability to
evaluate the correspondence between subjective experiences and
external objective situations. Flexibility is the ability to modify
one's thoughts, feeling to fit with changing situations.
(d) Stress management domain- Stress tolerance and impulse
control are the main skills in the stress management domain. In it,
stress tolerance refers to the capacity to withstand the build-up of
adversity, challenges, stresses and strong emotions without
decompensate or emotionally "falling apart". Impulse control refers
to the capacity to resist or delay acting on an impulse and to control
one's emotions.
(e) Mood domain- In it maintaining happiness and optimism are the
principal skills. Maintaining happiness is the ability to enjoy one*
self and others, to" have fun, to express positive feelings and to be
satisfied with life. Optimism is the ability to look on the bright side
of things even in the face of adversity.
Development of emotional skills:
Development is more individual-oriented and so
understanding and developing competence for handling changing
assignments consistent with changing pressures are to be fostered.
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Dr. Ezhilarasan. M & Dr. Rajasekaran. M
Such programmes also insist that lack of interpersonal skill leads to
non-acceptance of a person.
1. Role play: Role playing is a simulation in which the trainee
is asked to play a role, in a problem situation, requiring
interaction with others. It develops empathy and sensitivity;
allows for emotional release in a harmless way; and
promotes insight and acceptability for decisions.
2. Behaviour modelling: In this method trainee is provided
with a specific conceptual model of behaviour, and the
consequences of adapting in that type of behaviour. This
approach involves description of desired behaviour,
justification for such behaviour, active listening to employee
responses, and active involvement of employee in the
solution.
3. Sensitivity Training: This involves face to face learning
about ongoing behaviour within a small group. An
unorganized group is given a topic for interaction, and
participants are encouraged to openly discuss each other
participants’ attitude, reaction and introspect. This technique
enables for increased openness with others, greater concern
for others, increased tolerance for individual differences, less
ethnic prejudice, understanding of group process, enhanced
listening skills, and increased trust and support.
4. Structured insight: This method helps to collect data
concerning trainees’ attitudes and values. Trainees are asked
to write and describe their exposed theory on a problem of
behaviour mode. It helps to know the attitudes, assumptions
regarding their exposed theory, and their beliefs regarding
motives, abilities and attitudes of others.
5. Transactional Analysis: This attempts to analyse and
understand human behaviour, by analyzing transactions
between two or more, who encounter each other. As
transactions reveal a person’s way of thinking, feeling and
behaviour at a time, trainees are taught as to how to make
complimentary transactions, instead of crossed or ulterior
transactions.
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Essentials of Soft Skills
Sensitivity Training:
Sensitivity training is about making people understand about
themselves and others reasonably, which is done by developing in
them social sensitivity and behavioural flexibility.
 Social sensitivity in one word is empathy. It is ability of an
individual to sense what others feel and think from their own
point of view.
 Behavioural flexibility is ability to behave suitably in light
of understanding.
Definition: Sensitivity training is a type of group training that
focuses on helping organizational members to develop a better
awareness of group dynamics and their roles in the group. The
training often addresses issues such as gender and multicultural
sensitivity as well as sensitivity towards the disabled. The goal of
the training is focused on individual growth. Kurt Lewin and Ronald
Lippitt originally developed the technique in the 1940s.
Why is Sensitivity Training Important?
The contemporary workplace is very diverse and is
becoming more so every day. Managers need to understand, be
sensitive, and be able to adapt to the various needs, concerns, and
characteristics of a multitude of different people. Sensitivity training
will help managers to personally cultivate good interpersonal
relationships with members of their team and help facilitate
respective and productive group relations among team members.
Goals of Sensitivity Training
While the emphases, styles and specific goals of the
multitude of sensitivity training programs vary, there does seem to
be some consensus as to general goals. These include:
1. Increased understanding, insight, and self awareness about
one's own behaviour and its impact on others, including the
ways in which others interpret one's behaviour.
2. Increased understanding and sensitivity about the behaviour
of others, including better interpretation of both verbal and
nonverbal clues, which increases awareness and
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Dr. Ezhilarasan. M & Dr. Rajasekaran. M
understanding of what the other person is thinking and
feeling.
3. Better understanding and awareness of group and intergroup
processes, both those that facilitate and those that inhibit
group functioning.
Procedure of Sensitivity Training
Sensitivity Training Program requires three steps:
1. Unfreezing the old values -It requires that the trainees become
aware of the inadequacy of the old values. This can be done when
the trainee faces dilemma in which his old values is not able to
provide proper guidance. The first step consists of a small
procedure:
 An unstructured group of 10-15 people is formed.
 Unstructured group without any objective looks to the
trainer for its guidance
 But the trainer refuses to provide guidance and assume
leadership
 Soon, the trainees are motivated to resolve the uncertainty
 Then, they try to form some hierarchy. Some try assume
leadership role which may not be liked by other trainees
 Then, they started realizing that what they desire to do and
realize the alternative ways of dealing with the situation
2. Development of new values - With the trainer's support, trainees
begin to examine their interpersonal behaviour and giving each
other feedback. The reasoning of the feedbacks are discussed which
motivates trainees to experiment with range of new behaviours and
values. This process constitutes the second step in the change
process of the development of these values.
3. Refreezing the new ones - This step depends upon how much
opportunity the trainees get to practice their new behaviours and
values at their work place.
Outcomes of sensitivity training:
The outcomes they depict (self, role, and organization) are only
possibilities, and cannot be guaranteed for everyone attending a
sensitivity training program. This is because some participants do
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Essentials of Soft Skills
not learn or learn very little from a T group experience, others learn
some things, and others learn a considerable amount and variety of
things and because programs vary so much in terms of their nature
and goals. Possible outcomes are as follows:
A. Self
1. Increased awareness of own feelings and reactions, and own
impact on others.
2. Increased awareness of feelings and reactions of others, and
their impact on self.
3. Increased awareness of dynamics of group action.
4. Changed attitudes toward self, others, and groups; i.e., more
respect for, tolerance for, and faith in self, others, and groups.
5. Increased interpersonal competence; i.e., skill in handling
interpersonal and group relationships toward more productive
and satisfying relationships.
B. Role
1. Increased awareness of own organizational role,
organizational dynamics, dynamics of larger social systems,
and dynamics of the change process in self, small groups, and
organizations.
2. Changed attitudes toward own role, role of others, and
organizational relationships, i,e., more respect for and
willingness to deal with others with whom one
3. Role is interdependent, greater willingness to achieve
collaborative relationships with others based on mutual trust.
4. Increased interpersonal competence in handling organizational
role relationships with superiors, peers, and subordinates.
Transactional Analysis:
T.A. was originated by Dr. Eric Berne in the 1950s. When
Eric Berne discovered his clients were sometimes thinking, feeling,
and behaving like a child and at other times like a rational adult, he
differentiated between these states.
In T. A. the client is provided with specific tools for growth, but is
ultimately encouraged to make his/her own explanations and
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Dr. Ezhilarasan. M & Dr. Rajasekaran. M
interpretations. This is different from REBT which is active and
different from psychoanalysis which is more reliant on the
unconscious. An important goal of T. A. is autonomy of the
individual – the freedom to be you.
Basic Terms of Transactional Analysis
Transaction: stimulus from one person’s ego state and the
corresponding response from another person’s ego state.
Strokes are the recognition, attention or responsiveness that one
person gives another. Strokes can be positive (nicknamed "warm
fuzzies") or negative ("cold pricklies").
Life-script incorporates all we have learned from watching,
listening, and processing. It is the core of personal identity.
A ritual is a series of transactions that are complementary
(reciprocal), stereotyped and based on social programming. Rituals
usually comprise a series of strokes exchanged.
A pastime is a series of transactions that is complementary
(reciprocal), semi-ritualistic, and is mainly intended as a timestructuring activity. Pastimes have no covert purpose and can
usually be carried out only between people on the same wavelength.
They are usually shallow and harmless.
A racket is the dual strategy of getting "permitted feelings" and
covering up those which we feel, as being "not allowed".
A game is defined as an orderly series of ulterior transactions which
results in “payoffs” with specific bad feelings for both game
players. A person’s early beliefs about himself and others are
reinforced by engaging in repetitive, stereotyped games (un-straight
social interactions) with others.
Unhealthy childhood experiences could damage the Child or
Parent ego states, which would bring discomfort to an individual
and/or others, in a variety of forms including many types of mental
illness.
Ego States: A consistent pattern of behaviour or tendency to act and
react to stimuli at a given point of time. There are three basic ego
states in which an individual remains.
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Essentials of Soft Skills
1. Child: A state in which people revert to behaving, feeling and
thinking close to how they did in childhood. This ego state
contains all the impulses that come naturally to an infant. It
also contains the recordings of the child’s early experiences,
responses, and the positions taken about yourself and others. It
is expressed as “old,” archaic, behaviour from childhood.
a. Natural Child – spontaneous, but untrained
b. Little Professor – unschooled wisdom
c. Adapted Child – tamed, accommodates to others’ expectations
i.
Compliant – obedient, following instructions
ii.
Pseudo rebellious – delinquent, violating instructions
2. Adult: A state in which people behave, feel, and think in
response to what is going on in the "here-and-now," using all of
their resources as an adult human being with many years of life
experience to guide them. This ego state is not related to a
person’s age. It is oriented to current reality and the objective
gathering of information. It is organized, adaptable, intelligent,
and functions by testing reality. It is rational, estimating
probabilities and computing dispassionately.
3. Parent: A state in which people behave, feel, and think in
response to an unconscious mimicking of how their parents.
This ego state contains the attitudes and behaviour incorporated
from external sources, primarily parents. Inwardly, it is
experienced as old parental messages, often critical, which
continue to influence the inner child. Thus, becoming your own
parent means being autonomous and asking, “what do I want
out of life? It means making commitments and taking
responsibility for your own life. It is often expressed towards
others in
a. critical – prejudicial, fault finding
b. nurturing – smoothening, caring, cajoling
There is no "universal" ego state; each state is individually
and visibly manifested for each person. Therefore, when you are
acting, thinking, feeling as you observed your parents to be doing,
you are in your Parent ego state. When you are dealing with current
reality, gathering facts, and computing objectively, you are in your
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Dr. Ezhilarasan. M & Dr. Rajasekaran. M
Adult ego state. When you are feeling and acting as you did when
you were a child, you are in your Child ego state.
Types of Transactions
Transactions are the flow of communication, and more specifically
the unspoken psychological flow of communication that runs in
parallel.
1. Complementary – appropriate, natural healthy – c-c, a-a, c-p-c.
A simple, reciprocal transaction occurs when both partners are
addressing the ego state the other is in.
2. Crossed – When an unexpected response is made to the
stimulus. Partners address ego states other than that their partner
is in.
3. Ulterior – Always involve more than two ego states, most
complex. The explicit social conversation occurs in parallel
with an implicit psychological transaction.
Complementary
Crossed
Ulterior
P
P
P
P
P
P
A
A
A
A
A
A
C
C
C
C
C
C
Expressed
Implied
Life (or Childhood) Script
 Script is a life plan, directed to a pay-off.
 Script is decisional and responsive, i.e.

decided upon in childhood in response to perceptions of the
world and as a means of living and making sense of. It is not just
thrust upon a person by external forces.
 Script is reinforced by parents (or other influential figures and
experiences)
 Script is for the most part outside awareness
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Essentials of Soft Skills

Script is how we navigate and what we look for, the rest of
reality is redefined (distorted) to match our filters.
Redefining and Discounting
 Redefining means the distortion of reality when we deliberately
(but unconsciously) distort things to match our preferred way of
seeing the world. Thus a person whose script involves
"struggling alone against a cold hard world" may redefine
others' kindness and state that they are just trying to get
something by manipulation.
 Discounting means to take something as worth less than it is.
Thus to give a substitute reaction which does not originate as a
here-and-now Adult attempt to solve the actual problem, or to
not choose to see evidence that would contradict one's script.
Types of discount can also include: passivity (doing nothing),
over-adaptation, agitation, incapacitation, anger and violence.
CONFLICT
It is highly likely during the course of your life as a youth,
that you will be involved in a number of conflicts. Sometimes they
will be relatively small, for example, a young person turns their
back to you when you are giving instructions on where and when
you will be meeting for the volley ball game. Sometimes, they may
be bigger, more serious issues, for example, a young person in your
group has been stealing from other members.
Conflict is not only confined to relations between you and
the young people you work with. There may be conflict among
work colleagues, between practitioners and the agency they work
for, or between the prevailing laws and what is best for young
people. You may also face internal conflicts that impact on your
work.
Definitions of conflict
There are many different perspectives, and therefore,
definitions of conflict. Some require signs of visible fighting or
open struggle as criteria for the existence of conflict. Other
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Dr. Ezhilarasan. M & Dr. Rajasekaran. M
definitions focus on competing claims to scarce resources. The
following definitions illustrate this perspective:
Conflict is . . . a process that begins when one party
perceives that another party has negatively affected, or is about to
negatively affect, something that the first person cares about.
Robbins.
Conflict is a . . . social interaction in which a minimum of
two parties strive at the same moment in time to acquire the same
set of scarce resources. Wallensteen.
Regardless of the divergent views on the concept of conflict,
a couple of general themes can be found in most definitions, which
will help us to understand and deal with conflict in a youth in
development context.
Levels of conflict
Conflict can occur on four different levels, and at times on
more than one level at the same time:
Intra-personal: conflicts that occur within an individual
Inter-personal: conflicts that occur between two or more individuals
Intra-group: conflicts that occur within a group
Inter-group: conflicts that occur between two or more groups.
The role of conflict
At one end of the continuum, theorists believe that conflict is rare,
must be avoided and that it implies that the group or the relationship
is breaking down and not functioning. This attitude is known as
functionalism, the traditional view of conflict.
Others believe that conflict is characteristic of groups and
relationships and an inevitable outcome to interaction between
humans, and that it is not destructive, but has the potential to bring
about positive outcomes for a group or a relationship. This attitude
is known as humanism, the human relations view of conflict.
Another perspective on conflict is that it is absolutely necessary for
a relationship or group's survival and healthy functioning. This is
known as the interactionist or subjectivist approach.
The structuralists believe that conflict is a dynamic force rooted in
the structure of dominations based on opposing interests.
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Essentials of Soft Skills
Before one can contribute to the resolution of conflict, it is
necessary to:
 develop an understanding of conflict situations
 be aware of the perspectives of many theorists, which will
help you to construct a theoretical framework for analysing
and interpreting conflict situations for yourself.
Functional versus dysfunctional conflict
Conflict is functional when it enriches the quality of
decisions, when it stimulates people to look for new or creative
strategies, when it encourages an environment of self-evaluation,
and stimulates change. Conflict is positive when the views of the
minority groups are encouraged and their opinions included in
important decisions.
The distinction between functional (good) and dysfunctional
(bad) conflict is not certain or exact. There is no set framework
against which one can evaluate whether a level of conflict is
acceptable or unacceptable, under all circumstances, to all people.
For example, many people perceive violence differently in war and
in peace. The conflict and subsequent debate between the
Government and Opposition is commonly accepted as an essential
part of the democratic process.
It doesn't necessarily follow that all conflict is good. If the
conflict improves a group's performance in achieving its goals, then
it is a functional, constructive form of conflict. If a conflict between
members of a group hinders the achievement of goals, then this is
destructive or dysfunctional conflict.
Five stages conflict process model:
The conflict process model can be seen as consisting of five
stages:
1. potential for conflict
3. conflict handling styles
5. conflict outcomes.
2. recognition of conflict
4. conflict behaviour
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Resolving Conflicts
Approach-Approach conflicts occur when there are two goals or
events that have equal positive effects or characteristics that make
the goal appealing simultaneously, but letting the choice of only
one.
Avoid-Avoid conflicts occur when there are two goals or events that
have equal negative effects or characteristics that make the goal
unappealing simultaneously, but compelling the choice of only one.
Approach-avoidance conflicts occur when there is one goal or event
that has both positive and negative effects or characteristics that
make the goal appealing and unappealing simultaneously, confusing
the choice.
Five Approach Model for Handling Conflict:
Competing (Win-Lose):
• Assertive and uncooperative
• Pursuing your own concerns at another’s expense
• Using power to win your position (e.g., rank, economic sanctions)
• Could include “standing up for your rights” or defending a
position you believe is correct
Accommodating (Lose-Win):
• Unassertive and cooperative
• The opposite of competing
• Neglecting your own concerns in order to satisfy the concerns of
another
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Essentials of Soft Skills
• Could take the form of selfless generosity, obeying an order when
you would prefer not to, or yielding to another’s point of view
Collaboration (Win-Win):
• Assertive and cooperative
• The opposite of avoiding
• Attempting to jointly work toward a solution that fully satisfies the
concerns of all involved
• “Digging into” an issue to identify and address the underlying
concerns of all parties involved
Compromising (positive Lose-Lose):
• Intermediate in both assertiveness and cooperativeness; the
middle ground between competing and accommodating
• Finding a mutually acceptable solution that partially satisfies both
parties
• Addresses an issue more directly than avoiding, but does not
explore it in as much depth as collaborating
• Could take the form of splitting the difference, exchanging
concessions or seeking a quick middle-ground position.
Avoiding (negative Lose-Lose):
• Unassertive and uncooperative
• Pursuing neither your own concerns or those of your opponent
• Not addressing the conflict
• Could take the form of sidestepping an issue, postponing the
resolution of a conflict, or withdrawing from a threatening situation
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Dr. Ezhilarasan. M & Dr. Rajasekaran. M
Johari Window:
The Johari Window was devised in 1955 by two American
psychologists, Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham. It suggests a way of
developing self-awareness through our relationships with others.
The Johari Window describes four possible aspects of self and the
awareness that comes.
The Open Self: The part of ourselves that we are happy to share
with others and discuss openly. Thus you and I both see and can talk
openly about this 'me' and gain a common view of who I am in this
element.
The Private Self: The part of ourselves that we choose not to share
with others. This could be fears or other vulnerable spots. We can
choose to open and share this part with others.
Between the Open and Private selves, there are partly private,
partly public aspects of ourselves that we are prepared to share
only with trusted others.
The Blind Self: The part of our selves that others see and we do
not. Could include things that others appreciate in us as well as
things they might find difficult. Compassionate feedback can help
us to open this window.
The Undiscovered Self: The part that neither we nor other people
see. This may include strengths and difficulties. These may remain
undiscovered or may, at some point, move into one of the other
‘windows’.
What you see in
What you do not see in me
me
What I see in me
The Open Self
What I do not see
The Blind Self
in me
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The Private Self
The Undiscovered Self
Essentials of Soft Skills
UNIT II – Check Your Progress:
I. Choose the appropriate answer:
1. CO1-K1 ______ Intelligence is the ability to solve problems.
a. General
b. Social
c. Emotional
d. Economic
2. CO1-K1 _____ refers to the ability to listen with full capability.
a. Listening
b. Attunement c. Leadership
d. Empathy
3. CO1-K1 _______ refers to smooth interaction by an individual.
a. Concern
b. Influence
c. Synchrony
d. Altruism
4. CO1-K1 __________ is the act of being selfless.
a. Concern
b. Influence
c. Synchrony
d. Altruism
5. CO1-K2 Maintaining happiness is __________.
a. Mood
b. Stress
c. Emotion
d. Adaptation
6. CO1-K2 Emotionally “falling apart” is an effect of ______.
a. Adaptation
b. Mood
c. Stress
d. Emotion
7. CO2-K3 Reality testing skills constitute ______.
a. Emotion
b. Mood
c. Stress
d. Adaptation
8. CO2-K3 __________ is a simulation of role to the trainee
a. Modelling
b. Role Play
c. Insight
d. Analysis
9. CO2-K3 __________ is concerned with attitude and values.
a. Insight
b. Role play
c. Analysis
d. Modelling
10. CO2-K3 __________ deals with the discarding old values.
a. Unfreezing
b. Refreezing
c. Developing d. Building
11. CO3-K4 __________ is the recognition rendered to a person.
a. Game
b. Transaction c. Stroke
d. Ritual
12. CO3-K4 When expected response is received it is called ____.
a. Complementary
b. Crossed
c. Ulterior
d. Parallel
13. CO3-K4 _______ is a child ego state.
a. Critical
b. Logical
c. Nurturing
d. Natural
14. CO3-K4 The desire to withdraw is ____.
a. Avoiding
b. Collaborating c. Competing d. Accommodating
15. CO3-K4 _______ is a solution for a problem by Competing.
a. Lose-Lose
b. Win-Win
c. Lose-Win
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d. Win-Lose
Dr. Ezhilarasan. M & Dr. Rajasekaran. M
II. Write short answers for the following:
1. CO1-K1 Define interpersonal skill.
2. CO1-K1 Define sensitivity training.
3. CO1-K1 Define the child ego state.
4. CO1-K1 List classification of skills.
5. CO1-K2 Explain the levels of conflict.
6. CO1-K2 Identify ways to develop negotiation skill.
7. CO2-K3 Differentiate accommodating from collaborating.
8. CO2-K3 Discuss the goals of sensitivity training.
9. CO2-K3 Distinguish functional from dysfunctional conflict.
10. CO2-K3 Examine the procedure of sensitivity training.
11. CO3-K4 How can one develop ability to handle diverse roles?
12. CO3-K4 Illustrate Altruism as inter personal skill.
13. CO3-K4 Illustrate the components of Johari Window.
14. CO3-K4 Illustrate the key terms in TA.
15. CO3-K4 Illustrate the types of transactions.
III. Write elaborate answers for the following:
1. CO1-K1 Write a note on the components of Altruism.
2. CO1-K2 What are the types and uses of inter personal skills?
3. CO1-K2 What are the ways to develop negotiation skill?
4. CO2-K3 Identify the basic terms of Transactional Analysis.
5. CO2-K3 Illustrate the ego states in TA.
6. CO2-K3 Illustrate the outcomes of sensitivity training.
7. CO3-K4 Analyse Johari window to interpersonal situations.
8. CO3-K4 Analyse the transactions with suitable examples.
9. CO3-K4 Examine the approaches to handling Conflict.
10. CO3-K4 Examine ways to develop inter personal skills.
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Essentials of Soft Skills
UNIT III: LEADERSHIP AND
COMMUNICATION
LEADERSHIP:
Leadership is an important aspect of managing It is vital for
the success of business organizations. The success of every
industrial enterprise is dependent upon the qualities of its leader.
(E.g.) The Tata Iron and Steel Company, Jamshedpur would not
have attained its present success but for the able leadership of
Mr.J.N.Tata.
In a business enterprise, several tasks such as determining
the objectives of the enterprise, designing the methods to achieve
them, directing and co-ordinating the various activities can be
successfully performed only if there is able leadership.
Definition:
Leadership is generally defined as “the art or Process of
influencing people so that they will strive willingly and
enthusiastically towards the achievement of group goals”. People
should be encouraged to develop not only willingness to work but
also willingness to work with zeal and confidence. Zeal refers to
the earnestness and intensity in the execution of work whereas
confidence reflects experience and technical ability.
Characteristics of Leadership:
The following are the salient features of leadership.
i) Leadership does not exist in vacuum: Leadership can’t exist
without a group of followers. A person can be called a leader
only when people accept him.
ii) Leadership is a working relationship: between the leader and
his followers. The leader must be an active participant in the
activities of the group.
iii) Leadership is goal-oriented: The purpose of leadership is to
achieve some common goals.
iv) Leadership is behaviour influencing process: A leader
influences his followers willingly. A leader shows the way by
him being an example.
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Dr. Ezhilarasan. M & Dr. Rajasekaran. M
v) Leadership is situational: Leadership style depends on the
situation. It is a function of the leader, the followers and other
situational variables (ie) L = f (l,f,s)
vi) Leadership is a continuous and dynamic process of
influencing the behaviour.
Functions of a Leader
Some of the important functions performed by a leader are given
below:
i) Guiding People: A leader guides and directs the group. He
acts as a friend, Philosopher and guide to his followers. He also
provides advice and counsel.
ii) Developing Team Spirit: A leader acts as the captain of his
team in order to win confidence and co-operation of his
followers. He reconciles differences among followers and
unites them into a team.
iii) Maintaining Discipline: A leader maintains discipline.
Discipline makes the individuals to follow rules and
regulations. A leader should also fours on self discipline.
iv) Building Morale: To build high morale among followers, the
leader has to
govern or regulate his own actions. He sets
model for followers.
v) Representing The Group: Leader should represent his
followers. He carries the voice of his followers to higher
authorities. He should also take care of his followers
wellbeing.
vi) Father Figure: A leader may function as a father figure,
fulfilling an emotional role for the members of the group.
Leadership Styles:
Burns introduced the theories of Transformational
Leadership and Transactional Leadership, for which he gave the
following definitions:
1. Transformational Leadership-consists of behaviours that inspire
followers with the personal desire to achieve goals.
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Essentials of Soft Skills
2. Transactional Leadership-consists of behaviours that obtain
commitment for the achievement of goals through a promise of
rewards or agreed upon exchanges and by taking corrective actions
for inadequate performance.
These two types of leadership behaviours were separate and existed
at opposite ends of the spectrum. In other words, a leader was either
transformational or transactional.
Transformational Leadership
The transformational leader behaves in excellent ways,
demonstrates confidences, and takes positions that reason followers
to recognize with the leader who has a comprehensible set of morals
and take steps as a role model for the group. Followers encouraged
by the behaviour of their leaders and they utilize the leaders actions
as role models.
Idealized Influence (attributed and behaviour): provides vision and
sense of mission, instills pride, gains respect and trust
Inspirational Motivation: communicates high expectations, uses
symbols to focus efforts, and expresses important purposes in
simple ways
Intellectual Stimulation: promotes intelligence, rationality, and
careful problem solving
Individualized Consideration: gives personal attention, treats each
employee individually, coaches, advises
Transactional Leadership
This leadership also recognized as managerial leadership,
because the centre of attention of this leadership style is on the
responsibility of administration, organization, and group
performance; transactional leadership is a style of leadership in
which the leader encourages observance of his followers through
both rewards and punishments.
Contingent reward: contracts exchange of rewards for effort,
promises
rewards
for
good
performance,
recognizes
accomplishments. They explain opportunity, exchange resources
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Dr. Ezhilarasan. M & Dr. Rajasekaran. M
and assurance for support of the leaders. Transactional leaders
organize jointly agreeable contract and make available
recommendation for positive output and successful performance.
Management-by-exception (active & passive): watches and
searches for deviations from rules and standards, takes corrective
action. Passive Management by Exception mentioned about leaders
do not take any actions until the problem is serious. They just keep
them a side and do not get involved in the situation, until it has
become severe.
Leadership Development Programme:
Blake and Mouton’s Managerial Grid
A popular framework for thinking about a leader’s ‘task
versus person’ orientation was developed by Robert Blake and Jane
Mouton. The Managerial Grid is based on two behavioural
dimensions:
 Concern for People – This is the degree to which a leader
considers the needs of team members, their interests, and
areas of personal development when deciding how best to
accomplish a task.
 Concern for Results – This is the degree to which a leader
emphasizes concrete objectives, organizational efficiency
and high productivity when deciding how best to accomplish
a task.
Using the axis to plot leadership ‘concerns for results’ versus
‘concerns for people’, Blake and Mouton defined the following five
leadership styles:
Impoverished Management – Low Results/Low People
This leader is mostly ineffective. He/she has neither a high
regard for creating systems for getting the job done, nor for creating
a work environment that is satisfying and motivating. The result is
disorganization, dissatisfaction and disharmony.
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Essentials of Soft Skills
Country Club Management – High People/Low Results
This style of leader is most concerned about the needs and
feelings of members of his/her team. These people operate under the
assumption that as long as team members are happy and secure then
they will work hard. What tends to result is a work environment that
is very relaxed and fun but where production suffers due to lack of
direction and control.
Authority-Compliance Management – High Results/Low People
Also known as Authoritarian or "Produce or Perish"
Leaders, people in this category believe that employees are simply a
means to an end. Employee needs are always secondary to the need
for efficient and productive workplaces. This type of leader is very
autocratic, has strict work rules, policies, and procedures, and views
punishment as the most effective means to motivate employees.
Middle-of-the-Road Management – Medium Results/Medium
People
This style seems to be a balance of the two competing
concerns, and it may at first appear to be an ideal compromise.
When you compromise, you necessarily give away a bit of
each concern, so that neither production nor people needs are fully
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Dr. Ezhilarasan. M & Dr. Rajasekaran. M
met. Leaders who use this style settle for average performance and
often believe this is what anyone can expect.
Team Leadership – High Production/High People
According to the Blake Mouton model, this is the best
managerial style. These leaders emphasise production needs and the
needs of the people equally highly.
When employees are committed to, and have a stake in the
organization’s success, their needs and production needs coincide.
This creates a team environment based on trust and respect, which
leads to high satisfaction and motivation and, as a result, high
results.
Process of Grid Training:
It is important to understand how you currently operate, so
that you can then identify ways of becoming effective in both areas.
The steps involved are as follows:
Step One: Identify your leadership style
 Think of some recent situations where you were the leader.
 For each of these situations, place yourself on the grid according
to where you believe you fit.
Step Two: Identify areas of improvement and develop your
leadership skills
 Look at your current leadership approach, and think about
whether it suits the context.
 Look at ways that you could improve. Are you settling for
‘middle of the road’ because it is easier than reaching for more?
 Identify ways to get the skills you need to reach the Team
Leadership position. These may include involving others
in problem solving or improving how you communicate with
them, if you feel you are too task-oriented. Or it may mean
becoming clearer about scheduling or monitoring project
progress if you tend to focus too much on people.
 Continually monitor your performance and watch for situations
where you slip back into bad old habits.
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Essentials of Soft Skills
Step Three: Put the Grid in Context
 It is important to recognize that the Team Management style
isn’t always the most effective approach in every situation.
 While the benefits of democratic and participative leadership are
widely accepted, there are times that call for more attention in
one area than another.
Theories of leadership have moved on a certain amount
since the Blake Mouton Grid was originally proposed. In particular,
the context in which leadership occurs is now seen as an important
driver of the leadership style used.
And in many situations, the "Team Manager" as an ideal has
moved to the ideal of the "Transformational Leader": Someone who,
according to Bernard Bass:
 Is a model of integrity and fairness.
 Sets clear goals.
 Has high expectations.
 Encourages.
 Provides support and recognition.
 Stirs people's emotions.
 Gets people to look beyond their self-interest.
 Inspires people to reach for the improbable.
So use Blake Mouton as a helpful model, but don't treat it as
an "eternal truth."
The Blake Mouton Managerial Grid is a practical and useful
framework that helps you think about your leadership style. By
plotting ‘concern for results’ against ‘concern for people’, the grid
highlights how placing too much emphasis in one area at the
expense of the other leads to low overall productivity.
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Dr. Ezhilarasan. M & Dr. Rajasekaran. M
COMMUNICATION:
We all engage in communication with others right from our
birth. When we interact with others we are communicating with
them. Right now I am communicating with you through this unit
and while you are reading it you, too, are in fact communicating
with me through this text.
As human beings we have the ability to express ourselves
and share our thoughts and feelings in many ways. We could live in
isolation, never communicating with another person, but that would
not create value. We can keep feelings to ourselves or we can share
them. Each person has his or her unique view of things, and each
perspective is valuable. Through sharing these individual ideas or
views with each other, global solutions may be found.
Process of Communication
The following figure gives a simple model of the process of
communication:-
The function of language where the transfer of information
is involved is called transactional, and that function involved in
expressing social relations and personal attitudes is called
Interactional.
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Essentials of Soft Skills
Characteristics of Communication
If we look at the figure given above we can derive the
elements of communication as follows:
1. Communication involves at least two persons (a) The
addresser and (b) the addressee.
2. The topic: the contents of the message.
3. The channel: the medium through which the message
travels,
4. The code: the language of the message e.g. English, French,
Hindi, etc.
5. The message form: selection of particular grammar and
lexical choices of the message.
6. The setting: the social and physical setting.
Role of the Decoder
The process of decoding by the addressee is not passive. The
role is an active one. Language, it is said, does not have meaning; it
has potential for meaning and it is the decoder who is actively
engaged in making meaning on the basis of background knowledge
and the context of communication.
When we make an utterance we always do something; we
use language to perform some function, e.g. to inform, warn,
promise, persuade, etc. and the hearer or the reader can derive the
meaning of the utterance only through actively processing the
utterance in the context in which it is made.
Functions of Communication
The functions of communication are listed below:
1. The emotive function: to communicate the inner states and
emotions, e.g. Oh no!
2. The directive function: seeking to affect the behaviour of
others, e.g. “Close the door, please.”
3. The phatic function: opening the channel or checking that it
is working, e.g. Hello, is it Thomas Cook? or Can you hear
me, Mrs. Gupta?
4. The referential function: to carry information.
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Dr. Ezhilarasan. M & Dr. Rajasekaran. M
5. The meta-linguistic function: focusing attention on the
code itself, e.g. ‘the use of both will or shall is correct in
modern usage.’
6. The contextual function: creating a particular kind of
context, e.g. Right! Let’s start the meeting now.
Types of Communication
Communication may be classified into several categories on
the following bases: Expression: Written, oral and gestural
 Flow: Internal (Vertical & Horizontal) and external
 Relationship: Formal and informal
Written Vs. Oral Communication
In business, communicating in writing is the most popular
form of communication. It can take various forms such as letters,
circulars, office memorandums, telegrams, fax messages,
newsletter, brochures, bulletins, reports, manuals, house journals,
magazines, etc. You are already familiar with some of these.
This does not mean that oral communication is not used in
business transactions. Speech is also used and quite often. It takes
the form of face-to-face interaction, telephone conversations,
lectures and talks, meetings and discussions, etc.
Downward, Upward & Horizontal Communication
Companies have to communicate with outside agencies and
other companies, government and private bodies, newspapers,
advertisers, manufacturers of machinery, builders, suppliers of
goods and services, clients and customers, etc. But there is also the
need to communicate within the company itself, e.g. communication
between a superior and a subordinate, i.e. from higher to\ lower
levels of authority.
This is an example of downward communication. There are
also occasions when communication flows from a subordinate or
subordinates to a higher authority. It may be a report, suggestion,
opinion or a charter of demands from the workers. We call this
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Essentials of Soft Skills
upward communication. Both these are forms of vertical
communication.
Communication between officers working at the same level
of management is called horizontal or lateral communication.
Formal & Informal Communication
In business, these two terms are used in a slightly different
sense than what we generally understand by them. Communication
done through the chain of command is known as formal
communication. It involves the transmission of official message in
the formal organization structure. Such communication is planned
and established by management and clearly indicates the authority
relationships involved and these generally are in writing e.g. orders,
decisions, instructions, etc.
Informal communication does not flow through the official channels
of communication. It involves the spontaneous expression of
reactions and ideas and is usually done orally. Hence it may carry
incomplete or incorrect information.
Barriers to Communication
If noise exists in these elements in any way, complete clarity
of meaning and understanding does not occur.
Process Barriers
Every step in the communication process is necessary for effective
and good communication.. Blocked steps become barriers. Consider
the following situations:
a. Sender barrier. A new administrator with an innovative idea
fails to speak up at a meeting, chaired by the superintendent,
for fear of criticism.
b. Encoding barrier. A Spanish-speaking staff member cannot
get an English-speaking administrator to understand a
grievance about working conditions.
c. Medium barrier. A very upset staff member sends an
emotionally charged letter to the leader instead of
transmitting her feelings face-to-face.
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Dr. Ezhilarasan. M & Dr. Rajasekaran. M
d. Decoding barrier. An older principal is not sure what a
young department head means when he refers to a teacher as
"spaced out."
e. Receiver barrier. A school administrator who is preoccupied
with the preparation of the annual budget asks a staff
member to repeat a statement, because she was not listening
attentively to the conversation.
f. Feedback barrier. During a meeting, the failure of school
administrators to ask any questions causes the
superintendent to wonder if any real understanding has taken
place.
Physical Barriers
Any number of physical distractions can interfere with the
effectiveness of communication, including a telephone call, drop-in
visitors, distances between people, walls, and static on the radio.
People often take physical barriers for granted, but sometimes they
can be removed. For example, an inconveniently positioned wall
can be removed. Interruptions such as telephone calls and drop-in
visitors can be removed by issuing instructions to a secretary. An
appropriate choice of media can overcome distance barriers between
people.
Semantic Barriers
The words we choose, how we use them, and the meaning
we attach to them cause many communication barriers. The problem
is semantic, or the meaning of the words we use. The same word
may mean different things to different people. Words and phrases
such as efficiency, increased productivity, management
prerogatives, and just cause may mean one thing to a school
administrator, and something entirely different to a staff member.
Technology also plays a part in semantic barriers to
communication. For example, Schools have staff and technical
experts developing and using specialized terminology—jargon that
only other similar staff and technical experts can understand. And if
people don't understand the words, they cannot understand the
message.
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Essentials of Soft Skills
Psychosocial Barriers
The important concepts associated with psychological and
social barriers are fields of experience, filtering, and psychological
distance.
• Sincerity. Nearly all communication theorists assert that sincerity
is the foundation on which all true communication rests. Without
sincerity – honesty, straightforwardness, and authenticity – all
attempts at communication would fail.
• Empathy. Research shows lack of empathy is one of the major
obstacles to effective communication. Empathy is the ability to put
one's self in another's shoes. The empathetic person is able to see
the world through the eyes of the other person.
• Self-perception. How we see ourselves affects our ability to
communicate effectively. A healthy but realistic self-perception is a
necessary ingredient in communicating with others.
• Role perception. Unless people know what their role is, the
importance of their role, and what is expected of them, they will not
know what to communicate, when to communicate, or to whom to
communicate.
• Efforts to distort the message. Pitfalls in communication often
occur in our efforts to distort messages both consciously and
unconsciously.
• Images. Another obstacle to successful communication is the
sender's image of the receiver and vice versa. Such views lead to a
"we-they" attitude.
• Vehicle for message. The vehicle by which we choose to send
messages is important in successful communication. In most cases,
the vehicle to be used is defined by the situation.
• Ability to communicate. Some of the ways we communicate raise
barriers by inhibiting discussion or causing others to feel inferior,
angry, hostile, dependent, compliant, or subservient.
• Listening ability. Frequently, people fail to appreciate the
importance of listening, do not care enough to become actively
involved with what others are saying, and are not sufficiently
motivated to develop the skills necessary to acquire the art of
listening.
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Dr. Ezhilarasan. M & Dr. Rajasekaran. M
• Culture. Our cultural heritage, biases, and prejudices often serve
as barriers to communication. The fact that we are AfricanAmerican or white, young or old, male or female have all proved to
be obstacles in communicating effectively.
• Tradition. Past practice helps us determine how, when, and what
we send and receive.
• Conditioning. The manner in which communication is conditioned
by the environment influences the accuracy of messages sent and
received. If we work for administrators who set a climate in which
we are encouraged to share information, we soon become
conditioned to communicate accordingly.
• Noise. A major barrier to communication is what communication
experts call noise. Noise consists of the external factors in the
channels and the internal perceptions and experiences within the
source and the receiver that affect communication.
• Feedback. Faculty and staff tell their leaders that they want
feedback. However, feedback improperly given can impede
communication rather than improve it. Administrators and followers
both need more training in how to use feedback more productively.
Overcoming Barriers and Improving Effectiveness:
Sender's Responsibilities
Several communication theorists have gleaned ‘Ten
Commandments of Good Communication’ which is particularly
applicable to the sender. These commandments, together with a
basic understanding of the communication process, should provide a
good foundation for developing and maintaining an effective set of
interpersonal communication skills that senders can use when
communicating.
1. Senders need to clarify their ideas before communicating. The
more systematically the sender analyzes the problem or idea to be
communicated, the clearer it becomes. Many communications fail
because of inadequate planning. Good planning must consider the
goals, attitudes, and needs of those who will receive the
communication and those who will be affected by it.
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Essentials of Soft Skills
2. Senders need to examine the true purpose of each
communication. Before senders communicate, they must ask
themselves what they really want to accomplish with their
message—obtain information, initiate action, or change another
person's attitude. Senders should not try to accomplish too much
with each communication. The sharper the focus of their message,
the greater is its chances of success.
3. Senders need to consider the total physical and human setting.
Many other factors influence the overall impact of a
communication, and senders must be sensitive to the total setting in
which they communicate: the physical setting – whether the
communication is made in private or otherwise; custom and practice
– the degree to which the communication conforms to, or departs
from, the expectations of the audience.
4. Senders need to consult with others, when appropriate, in
planning communications. Frequently, it is desirable or necessary
to seek the participation of others in planning a communication or in
developing the facts on which to base the communication. Such
consultation often lends additional insight and objectivity to the
message.
5. Senders need to be mindful, while communicating, of the
overtones as well as the basic content of the message. The sender’s
tone, expression, and apparent receptiveness to the responses of
others have tremendous impact on the receiver. Frequently
overlooked, these subtleties of communication often affect a
listener's reaction to a message even more than its basic content.
6. Senders need to take the opportunity, when it arises, to convey
something of help or value to the receiver. Consideration of the
other person's interests and needs – trying to look at things from the
other person's point of view – frequently points up opportunities to
convey something of immediate benefit or long-range value to the
other person.
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Dr. Ezhilarasan. M & Dr. Rajasekaran. M
7. Senders need to follow up their communication. A sender’s best
efforts at communication may be wasted, and she may never know
whether she has succeeded in expressing her true meaning and
intent if she does not follow up to see how well she has put her
message across. A sender can do this by asking questions, by
encouraging the receiver to express his or her reactions, by followup contacts, and by subsequent review of performance.
8. Senders need to communicate for tomorrow as well as today.
Although communications may be aimed primarily at meeting the
demands of an immediate situation, they must be planned with the
past in mind if they are to maintain consistency in the receiver's
view. Most important, however, communications must be consistent
with long-range interests and goals.
9. Senders need to be sure that their actions support their
communications. In the final analysis, the most persuasive kind of
communication is not what senders say, but what they do. When
leaders’ actions or attitudes contradict their words, others tend to
discount what they have said.
10. Senders need to seek, not only to be understood, but to
understand—be a good listener. When a sender starts talking, he
often ceases to listen, at least in that larger sense of being attuned to
the other person's unspoken reactions and attitudes. Listening is one
of the most important, most difficult, and most neglected skills in
communication. It demands that the sender concentrate not only on
the explicit meanings another person is expressing, but also on the
implicit meanings, unspoken words, and undertones that may be far
more significant.
Receiver's Responsibilities
Communication depends on the ability not only to send but
also to receive messages. So the ability to listen effectively greatly
enhances the communication process. But many of us are not good
listeners. Effective listening skills can be developed, however.
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Essentials of Soft Skills
Summarized following are ‘Ten Commandments for Good
Listening’:
1. Stop talking. You cannot listen if you are talking. For example,
Polonius in Hamlet said: "Give every man thine ear, but few thy
voice."
2. Put the talker at ease. Help a person feel free to talk. This is
often called a permissive environment.
3. Show a talker that you want to listen. Look and act interested.
Do not read your mail while someone talks. Listen to understand
rather than to oppose.
4. Remove distractions. Don't doodle, tap, or shuffle papers. Will it
be quieter if you shut the door?
5. Empathize with talkers. Try to help yourself see the other
person's point of view.
6. Be patient. Allow plenty of time. Do not interrupt a talker. Don't
start for the door or walk away.
7. Hold your temper. An angry person takes the wrong meaning
from words.
8. Go easy on argument and criticism. These put people on the
defensive, and they may clam up or become angry. Do not argue:
Even if you win, you lose.
9. Ask questions. This encourages a talker and shows that you are
listening. It helps to develop points further.
10. Stop talking. This is first and last, because all other guides
depend on it. You cannot do an effective listening job while you are
talking.
Nature gave people two ears but only one tongue, which is a
gentle hint that they should listen more than they talk. Listening
requires two ears, one for meaning and one for feeling.
Active Listening
Active listening is a term that recognizes that a sender's
message contains both verbal and nonverbal content as well as a
feeling component. The receiver should be aware of both
components in order to comprehend the total meaning of the
message. There are five guidelines that can help school
administrators to become more active.
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Dr. Ezhilarasan. M & Dr. Rajasekaran. M
1. Listen for message content. The receiver must try to hear exactly
what the sender is saying in the message.
2. Listen for feelings. The receiver must try to identify how the
sender feels in terms of the message content. This can be done by
asking: "What is he trying to say?"
3. Respond to feelings. The receiver must let the sender know that
her feelings, as well as the message content are recognized.
4. Note all cues, verbal and nonverbal. The receiver must be
sensitive to the nonverbal messages as well as the verbal ones. If the
receiver identifies mixed messages, he may ask for clarification.
5. Rephrase the sender's message. The receiver may restate or
paraphrase the verbal and nonverbal messages as feedback to the
sender. The receiver can do this by allowing the sender to respond
with further information.
It helps the receiver avoid passing judgment or giving
advice, and encourages the sender to provide more information
about what is really the problem.
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Essentials of Soft Skills
UNIT III – Check Your Progress:
I. Choose the appropriate answer:
1. CO1-K1 Leadership comprises of __________.
a. influencing
b. directing
c. motivating
d. all the above
2. CO1-K2 All are leadership characteristics except _____.
a. relationship b. situational
c. static
d. goal-oriented
3. CO3-K4 __________ deals with understanding others.
a. Intelligence b. Empathy
c. Stability
d. Loyalty
4. CO2-K3 __________ is concerned with developing unity.
a. Team spirit
b. Morale
c. Discipline
d. Guidance
5. CO1-K2 __________ leader demonstrates confidences.
a. Autocratic b. Transformational
d. Transactional
c. Submissive
6. CO1-K2 __________ leader shares control to the group.
a. Submissive b. Transactional
d. Transformational
c. Laissez-faire
7. CO2-K3 ______ leader does not share control with the group.
a. Submissive b. Transactional
d. Transformational
c. Laissez-faire
8. CO3-K4 __________ is High People/High Results leadership.
a. Authoritative
b. Team
c. Impoverished
d. Country Club
9. CO3-K4 __________ is High People/Low Results leadership.
a. Impoverished
b. Team
c. Authoritative
d. Country Club
10. CO3-K4 __________ is Low People/High Results leadership.
a. Impoverished
b. Team
c. Authoritative
d. Country Club
11. CO3-K4 __________ is Low People/Low Results leadership.
a. Team
b. Country Club c. Authoritative
d. Impoverished
12. CO2-K3 ______ deals with converting ideas into message.
a. Feed-back
b. Decoding
c. Channel
d. Encoding
13. CO2-K3 ______ deals with converting message into idea.
a. Encoding
b. Channel
c. Decoding
d. Feed-back
14. CO2-K3 Problem in the choice of words is _______.
a. Process
b. Semantic
c. Physical
d. Psychosocial
15. CO2-K3 Problem in the steps of communication is _______.
a. Process
b. Semantic
c. Physical
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d. Psychosocial
Dr. Ezhilarasan. M & Dr. Rajasekaran. M
II. Write short answers for the following:
1. CO1-K1 Define leadership.
2. CO1-K1 Define transformational style of leadership.
3. CO1-K2 List the characteristics of communication.
4. CO1-K2 List the steps in the process of Grid Training.
5. CO1-K2 What is the process of communication?
6. CO1-K2 Write a short note on Active Listening.
7. CO2-K3 Differentiate downward from upward communication.
8. CO2-K3 Differentiate transactional from transformational style.
9. CO2-K3 How does listening affect communication?
10. CO2-K3 Illustrate is the role of decoder.
11. CO2-K3 Illustrate qualities of a leader.
12. CO2-K3 Why is a leader called ‘father figure’?
13. CO3-K4 Differentiate emotional stability from empathy.
14. CO3-K4 Examine the encoding barrier.
15. CO3-K4 Why is leadership situational?
III. Write elaborate answers for the following:
1. CO1-K2 Elaborate Blake and Mouton’s Managerial Grid.
2. CO1-K2 Elaborate the functions of communication.
3. CO1-K2 Explain Transactional Leadership.
4. CO2-K3 Compare the different types of communication.
5. CO2-K3 Discuss the characteristics and functions of leadership.
6. CO2-K3 Illustrate the psychosocial barriers in communication.
7. CO3-K4 Analyse receiver’s responsibility in overcoming
barriers in communication.
8. CO3-K4 Analyse sender’s responsibility in overcoming barriers
in communication.
9. CO3-K4 Analyse the process of Grid Training.
10. CO3-K4 Examine Transformational Leadership.
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