Revising Messages: Conciseness [LO-3]
5-16. The board cannot act without a consensus.
5-17. To surpass our competitors, we need new innovations in products and operations.
5-18. George McClannahan wanted to be head engineer for a long period, and he has finally
gotten the promotion.
5-19. Don’t pay more; you can get our new fragrance for $50.
Revising Messages: Conciseness [LO-3]
5-20. It is important that the payments be stopped before the company accumulates an excessive
deficit.
5-21. There was an agreement among the executives that Ms. Jackson’s mannerisms were cause
for a mandatory meeting with the company’s personnel director.
5-22. The approaching liquidation of the company’s assets was cause for joy among the
company’s competitors.
Revising Messages: Conciseness [LO-3]
5-23. I require money to live.
5-24. They did not find sufficient evidence to believe in the future.
5-25. To bring about the destruction of a dream is tragic.
Revising Messages: Conciseness [LO-3]
5-26. We are convinced that writing is important.
5-27. We should have a price increase in all probability.
5-28. Our goals include making a determination soon.
5-29. I’d like to summarize the final windup after the conclusion of the experiment.
Revising Messages: Modifiers [LO-3]
5-30. High pay increases were given to skilled and conscientious employees.
5-31. The union’s proposals were inflationary, demanding, and bold.
Revising Messages: Hedging [LO-3]
5-32. It appears that someone entered illegally.
5-33. It is possible that in the near future the situation will improve.
5-34. Your report suggest that we might be losing money.
5-35. Nancy apparently has a greater influence over employees in the new-accounts department.
Revising Messages: Indefinite Starters [LO-3]
5-36. Several examples here show that Elaine can’t hold a position very long.
5-37. Every employee who makes a generous contribution to Mara Cook’s retirement party
would be greatly appreciated.
5-38. Learned in Washington today from generally reliable sources that an important
announcement will be made shortly by the White House.
5-39. The rule states that we cannot work overtime without permission.
Revising Messages: Parallelism [LO-3]
5-40. Mr. Hill is expected to lecture three days a week, counsel two days a week, and write for
publication in his spare time.
5-41. She knows accounting and reads Latin.
5-42. Both applicants had families, college degrees, in their thirties, and considerable accounting
experience but few social connections.
5-43. This book was exciting, well written, and interesting.
Revising Messages: Awkward References [LO-3]
5-44. The vice president in charge of sales is responsible for funding the demo unit program and
the production manager is responsible for the loaner unit program.
5-45. The demo unit program is funded from the budget of the vice president and the loan unit
program is funded from the budget of the production manager.
5-46. The budgets for both the demo unit program and loaner unit program were increased by 10
percent.
5-47. A laser printer was delivered to John and an inkjet printer was delivered to Megan.
Revising Messages: Dangling Modifiers [LO-3]
5-48. We watched the countryside glide by in a cloud of smoke, while running down the railroad
tracks.
5-49. Ruby saw the seashell which was lying on the shelf.
5-50. I think the factory, which needs a major equipment upgrade, would be a bad investment.
5-51. Sandy took the whole afternoon to clean her desk, which was cluttered and filthy.
Revising Messages: Noun Sequences [LO-3]
5-52. The focus of the meeting was discussion about the issue of bank interest rate deregulation.
5-53. Following the recommendations of the government task force, we are revising our job
applicant evaluation procedures.
5-54. The components of the quality assurance program of production department includes
employee training, supplier cooperation, and computerized detection equipment.
5-55. The inventory reduction plan of the supermarket warehouse will be implemented next
month.
Revising Messages: Sentence Structure [LO-3]
5-56. Trudy ran when she first saw the bull pawing the ground.
5-57. According to Ted, who is probably the worst gossip in the office (Tom excepted), it was
Terri who, mailed the wrong order.
5-58. In his book Investment Capital Reconsidered, William Oberstreet, writes of the mistakes
that bankers have made through the decades.
5-59. After passing up several sensible investment opportunities, Judy Schimmel invested her
inheritance in a jojoba plantation, despite the warning of her friends and family.
Revising Messages: Camouflaged Verbs [LO-3]
5-60. The employees easily adapted to the new rules.
5-61. The assessor will determine the tax due.
5-62. Identity of the employees must be verified daily.
5-63. The board of directors recommend that Mr. Ronson be assigned to a new division.