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I take full accountability for my actions and for what I said to Chanel while I was
angry. Recently, I became friends with somebody who is currently being doxxed
and bullied. That friend and I did not start out on the right foot and while yelling at
me she explained that I needed to start reflecting on myself and my actions. I
decided to listen to her and started doing exactly that. I realized quickly that my
anger was the problem and my reactions were not always appropriate. Chanel
and I have a rocky history where both of us have said and done things that were
not always kind. I regret the things that I said to Chanel and I did not mean them.
I in no way hate black women and realize after watching that clip the things that I
said were disgusting and rude. Actually, after watching the clip it made me feel
like a terrible person for even saying those things in the first place. Nobody
deserves to feel like they are less than just due to their race. As somebody who
is part of a minority (I am Mexican) I know that feeling and I never intended to
make anybody feel that way. After reflecting on how I react while angry I realized
that what I said to Chanel more and likely really really hurt her. It is already hard
enough being a part of a minority and I can only imagine how it made her feel
hearing what I said to her. I am extremely regretful and apologetic for the things
that I had said. I have never said anything like that before and I have not said
anything like that since the day that it had happened. My actions were wrong,
rude, and inexcusable however I do regret everything that I had said that day and
prior to realizing that my actions could truly harm and hurt people. After taking
some time lately to reflect on myself and my actions I know now that I can not
say things like that at all. Regardless
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of what was said to me, I have to act calmly and use better judgment in my
responses to people. Lately, when I get upset I take a step back and leave the
situation to calm down before responding to it as to avoid situations like the one
that occurred with Chanel a few weeks ago. I know what I said to Chanel that day
was not okay and extremely rude. Those statements that I made were NOT how I
truly feel about anyone and especially not about people in minorities. Ohio
deserves to be a fun and safe place for everybody and anybody that wants to
play on it. My morals have changed since the situation happened and I really
have reflected on myself lately and my actions since that situation occurred. To
the admins that had to watch that video I am extremely sorry that you guys got to
see me behave that way. I am not racist and do not want to appear to be racist to
anybody at all. That is not who I am as a person and I respect everybody from
every background whether they are black, white, purple, gay, straight, and so on.
I am not a bad person by any means and know that these things and actions
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from the past make me reflect as somebody that I am not. I never want to be
known as a racist, as somebody who hates black women, or somebody who
hates anybody in general. I am from a minority myself and know what it feels like
to be put down for being Mexican. I have heard jokes about being a beaner, ice,
immigrant, and so much more just for my race and background.
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I never want to make another person feel the way that I have felt in the past from
people making gross and demeaning comments about my own race. Everybody
deserves respect and what I said about black women lying was extremely
demeaning, gross, and inconsiderate as every race can lie. To the Ohio admin,
mods, and Chanel I am extremely sorry for the things that I did and said. If I
could take them back I would. However, I can’t reverse time and I hope that there
is some way for me to be forgiven for the things that I said a few weeks ago to
Chanel. The behavior was gross, it was demeaning, it is inexcusable, and it just
was not right by any means but it is something that I can assure you all will never
ever ever happen again under no circumstances. I know that sorry is just a word
and actions speak louder then words but I have been working very hard to
ensure that all my actions reflect positively and show that I genuinely care about
the type of person I am being online and in real life.
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Racism is never okay, it is not fair to those who experience it and it was unfair for
somebody to have to hear me ever make those types of comments in the first
place. My actions from this point forward will be positive and those of what I want
to be seen and reflected as a person. I know now that the way I act on the
internet can affect people in ways that I do not want. I would not want to be
treated that way and I should have never treated anybody the way that I did. So
while I can not take back what I did and I can not reverse time I can assure you
that there will be no more incidents like that from this point forward. That was the
old me and will remain in the past. Growth is big to me and I plan to continue to
make positive changes from this point forward. Again, I am extremely sorry for
my actions and I do regret them. I hope this is taken into consideration when
deciding with my account. I appreciate you taking the time to read this.