How to Write Better Essays - Part 2
DUDE?
Why Did My Essay Suck So Bad?
Or…
How to Write Better Essays
For Sociology Courses
Dr. David Aveline
Behavioural Science Department
Mount Royal College
Revised, May, 2005
How to Write Better Essays - Part 1
How Does the Professor Want Me to Write? - Part 3
Download the full PDF document
Part Two
What Does the Professor Want Me to Write?
1.) Students Who Think They are the Centre of the
Universe!
2.) The World is Always Far Greater than Your
Experience of it!
Writing Rule #1 When instructors ask for critical
assessment or analysis of an issue, your feelings
on that issue are not relevant!
Do not make generalizations
Writing Rule #2
based upon what you think or what you have
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How to Write Better Essays - Part 2
observed.
1.) Students Who Think They are the Centre of the Universe! (or “I don’t agree with ”)
I once assigned an essay on whether prostitution increases in society as women’s power decreases? I read
my students’ answers and found a number of interesting arguments, grading them according to their logic
and organization. Halfway through the pile, I came across an opening statement that struck me: “I don’t agree
with prostitution. I would never do it.” I thought about this for a moment. I had asked for an application of
theory to existent human actions, and this student felt the need to proclaim “how she felt” about those actions as
if it were relevant to the topic, and as if it mattered to those whose lives prostitution touched. I could not help
but think how arrogant this was. Prostitution had existed long before this student was born and continues to
exist despite her. Yet, her only thoughts were of her feelings and what she herself would do. She may as well
have said that she does not agree with the moon revolving around the sun. It does despite her, and her
feelings about it change nothing.
Such statements reflect an age of increasing need for individuality. People strive to distinguish themselves and
thus boil all they see down to “my opinion.” For every issue, they proudly proclaim their opinions as if they
were showing shiny medals at dinners in their honour. Indeed, it is as if they see the world is one big banquet in
their honour and believe their opinions make profound differences to how issues unfold. They have opinions
on abortion, gun control, how the country should be run, and whether Coke is better than Pepsi. Ironically, they
also have “opinions” on entirely objective phenomena: the percentage of people who fall below the poverty
line, whether condoms effectively prevent disease and, one would think, whether water boils at 100
degrees Centigrade. They hear about an issue, immediately measure it against “how they feel,” and even
though they may know little about it, proclaim their positions. They surely must see themselves as centres of
the universe. Not only do all issues revolve around them, but their “feelings” are somehow directly relevant to
those involved in the issues.
This tendency is not surprising given what we are taught about life. To have no opinion on something is to
be uninformed, uncaring, or stupid while having strong unwavering opinions shows decisiveness, intelligence,
and character. Many believe that those who do not hesitate to make decisions on issues that matter show leadership.
The sad irony is that people with strong opinions on social phenomena are typically less informed than those
without. To reach a conclusion on any issue is to stop seeking information. Why bother to learn more when you
have already made up your mind? In contrast, those who look at social issues critically rather than valuatively tend
to be far better informed, and are certainly far more objective.
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How to Write Better Essays - Part 2
College students often believe that instructors really want to know “how they feel” about issues despite
their insistence that they want critical assessment instead. Thus, when they do ask students to analyze social
issues, they find themselves wading through sentences beginning with:
“I was raised to believe that ”
“I don’t agree with ”
“My parents taught me that ”
“I’m the type of person who ”
“I’m a firm believer in ”
The instructors wearily pick up their red pens and slash off points. When I come across such statements,
my favourite marginal comments are:
“This is not an essay about you!” “Why are you writing about yourself?”
People who write such sentences must certainly think they are the centres of the universe. By measuring
social phenomena against their own values instead of critically assessing them when assigned essays on drug
use, alcoholism, or prostitution, they make themselves the main topics of their essays rather than drug
use, alcoholism, or prostitution. Once you put yourself into your essay, it becomes an essay about you and not
the topic at hand. The next page has an example of a student who thought she was the centre of the universe.
This student received a zero (F) on her paper for two reasons: (a) She did not answer the question. (b) She
made herself the topic of her essay and not the topic at hand. She further did not seem to realize that her
feelings are irrelevant to prostitutes and the world of prostitution. This subculture has existed long before she
was born, and will continue to exist long after she is dead. This leads to the first rule of writing in sociology courses
Writiing Rule #1 When instructors ask for critical
assessment or analysis of an issue, your feelings on that
issue are not relevant! Write about the issue, not
about yourself. If you put yourself into your essay, it
becomes an essay about you and not the topic assigned.
She Thought She was the Centre of the Universe, Made Herself the Main Topic of Her Essay, and
got a Zero
Assigned question:
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How to Write Better Essays - Part 2
Prostitution is more prevalent in cultures where women have less power, and less so in cultures where the sexes
are more equal. Using what you have learned about gender and power from the book and lectures, explain why
this is so.
Excerpt from Student Essay:
“I think prostitution is terrible. Women selling themselves. They have no respect for themselves or the bodies
God gave them. I would never do this myself. I have respect for who I am. Men always try to subjugate women.
I know this because I broke up with three boyfriends because they did not respect me as a woman. I once saw
a prostitute on the street. She was unhappy. This is proof enough for me that prostitution is bad. If I was that
woman I would get another job. I would also hang my head in shame.
The fact that she would sell herself to any man who came along proves that she has no morals. The idea!
I can’t see why any woman would do this. I have values which includes respecting myself as a woman and as
a human being. I was raised like this. In my opinion, prostitution s bad. Why is it bad? Well, I would not enjoy it
to say the least! That’s good enough for me. If a woman respects herself she should not be a prostitute. This is
what I was raised to believe. I am a woman who has respect for myself and that does not include selling my body
to any Tom, Dick, and Harry. My body is a temple and I am saving it for that special man whom God has planned
for me.”
2.) The World is Always Far Greater than Your Experience of it! (or “there are more things
in Heaven and Earth than you or I have ever dreamed.”)
What is wrong with the following three statements taken from students‘ essays (aside from the fact that all
three students made themselves the main topics of their essays)?
Most men these days want to dominate women. I know this because three of my boyfriends demanded that I be
their servant.
Children are very affected by violence on television. My cousin’s bridge partner’s son once saw a police show on
TV and started to hit his sister.
The majority of people in America are devout Christians. I know this because yesterday I asked three people in
the parking lot if they believe in God and they all said yes.
If you said that they are generalizations made on one or a few cases, or the subjective experiences of
single individuals, you are right. This is a mistake made by many people. They believe that they have had
unique experiences in given areas and are therefore qualified to make claims that, whether they realize it or not,
go beyond those experiences. Or, they believe that something is “common knowledge” and they cite their
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How to Write Better Essays - Part 2
experience as proof of its validity.
In contrast, sociology is a critical discipline that suspends all assumptions about the world until they have
been supported by legitimate research. Often, “stuff everyone knows” turns out to be false once research has
been done. To accept something blindly, even if it seems “obvious” is to limit oneself to a world of static ideas.
This leads to limitations upon truth.
Another reason for generalization is people’s desire to appear knowledgeable and experienced. Students
enter universities with different life experiences which have been significant to them. In an effort to
distinguish themselves, they may make claims of knowledge based on that experience to impress others. In
truth, education is an exercise in humility. I came to university late in life (age 33) having lived in a number of
places and having had such jobs as ditch digger, race track groom, underground miner, and teacher to
autistic children. I thought that I had seen a broad cross section of life and needed only a “fine tuning” in
my education. After fourteen years in school and a masters and doctorate in sociology, I realized how much I did
not know. I also learned that in order to know what most people do, or how they do it, I must rely upon
legitimate research rather than my own observations in life.
Sociology is a humble discipline that makes claims only after it has done exhaustive research. Sociologists
suspend all assumptions, even the “obvious” ones, until they can back them up with sound research. To
know whether “most men want to dominate women,” we must survey a large randomly selected group of
men with carefully constructed questions and analyze the data statistically. To know whether “children are
affected by violence,“ we must do a series of carefully designed experiments under rigidly controlled conditions
and compare the results. To know whether most Americans are devout Christians, we must again survey a
random sample of citizens with carefully constructed questions. In other words, even though we take something
as “fact,” there is little ground to call it such unless it has been concluded from sound research.
One reason for people’s tendency to make generalizations is our faith in “common knowledge.” Common
knowledge must always be regarded with scepticism. Consider how “stuff we all know” changes so frequently.
One hundred and fifty years ago, people took for granted that African Americans were inferior. Anyone living in
this time “knew” that. Today, we realize how wrong they were. Even earlier, it was thought that women could
not pursue intellectual matters because ninety percent of their brains was taken up in reproductive activity and
any taxing thought might lead to a miscarriage. Again we now know this to be false. Common knowledge needs to
be backed up with sound research. This leads to Writing Rule #2 which all students in sociology courses should
keep in mind.
Writing Rule #2
Do not make generalizations based
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How to Write Better Essays - Part 2
upon what you think or what you have observed. Whether
true or not, generalizations have no validity until they
have been backed up by legitimate research.
How to Write Better Essays - Part 1
How Does the Professor Want Me to Write? - Part 3
Download the full PDF document
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