Comment Chapter 7
The idea of love being exclusive is something that has already torn many friendships, families,
and relationships apart but why?
In chapter 7 of his novel “Born a Crime”, Trevor Noah tells a childhood story about one of his
dogs: Fuffi. Fuffi was a deaf dog that lived with Trevor and his mother Patricia. Without Trevor
or his noticing, Fuffi was also living with a second family: During the day, when Trevor and
Patricia weren’t at home, the dog was jumping over the fence and ran down the street to play
with another child. When Trevor found out about this, he was devastated because “Fufi loves
another boy”. This emphasizes how much the exclusivity of relationships can matter to
someone.
In my opinion, there are different kinds of love and relations between people which makes
this question even more difficult.
To start off, I would say that exclusivity is something that does not belong in normal
friendships. One person can and should have more than one friend and starting to treat one
differently from the others will probably always cause jealousy in the long run.
While I think that you do not have exclusive rights to love in friendships, I would definitely say
that a parent’s love toward their children is an exclusive love that no other child can
experience. And in my opinion, this is good, this way a child always knows that it is the most
important thing to its parents which really forms a safe place for the child. Since parents
would always unconditionally love their children, young children do not need to be afraid to
tell their parents when they messed up.
But exclusive love is not just for families, I think almost every love relationship between two
loving individuals is based on some kind of exclusivity. In my opinion, this is also really
important because it really shows the other person that he/she is the most important person
to you and this forms a bond that hopefully holds the relationship together forever.
All in all, I would say that you may not own “the thing that you love” but that some kind of
exclusive love is still essential in some contexts. Especially when talking about the
relationships between parents and their children or relationships between couples, it is
important that the partner/child experiences some special love that only he can get. This is
crucial to create a safe place for the persons you care about the most.