Lia Vokhiwa
Being frank, the most important identity that forms a ‘single story’ about me is the most
obvious one. My being a sister, daughter, former magnet student, or singer is
unfortunately secondary to what the world has always seen me as. What they will
always see me as. I am a black woman. My culture is that of rich history, countless
injustices, and beautiful memories. Not everyone sees it that way, however. To some,
being black alone is a curse that far too many of the American population is inflicted by.
We’ve been conditioned to think that we are inherently inferior, and we face an uphill
battle everyday down to the simplest facts of our existences. It is needlessly hard to
exist in a system that has had to adapt to fit for you. I am also a woman. Even worse
than the constant harmony of microaggressions, sexism isn’t just an American issue.
Women all around the world, everywhere, are put down, underestimated, and devalued.
There isn’t a way to speak up without being labeled, a way to exist without being
sexualized, a way to live without being scrutinized.
I am all too aware of the cards stacked against me. Even in today’s ‘woke’ society, the
default exists, and I have to be aware at all times of where I am and who I’m surrounded
by. Some people like me crack under the pressure, can’t seem to escape the labels
forced onto them and accept that which they “cannot change”. Instead, I wear my
difference on my sleeve and try to thrive with the hand I’ve been dealt. In the face of the
discouragement my very existence affords me, I have focused on controlling the
controllables. I cannot influence how people will instinctively see me, I cannot change
(on my own) the perception of black women as a whole. I can, however, influence my
life the best way I can. I can pursue my studies, I can build myself as an emotionally
intelligent individual, and I can be the best me I can be. I can beat the odds, and help
anyone around me do the same. That’s the story I want to leave behind. The one I wish
they’d read.
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