Managing People in Organizations
Class - 7
Massimo Magni
SDA Bocconi Asia Center I Proposal for RBI Academy
AVOID THE PATTERN OF CONFLICT
Victim
Karpman’s
Drama
Triangle
Persecutor
Rescuer
AVOID THE PATTERN
OF
CONFLICT
Creator
Victim
Challenger
Persecutor
Karpman’s
Drama
Triangle
Coach
Rescuer
How?
The victim becomes the creator -- works proactively to
create a positive (or at least tolerable) outcome to a
conflict
The persecutor becomes the challenger -- is honest even
when it's difficult. Their honesty can create conflict or
cause pain, but it also gives the creator an opportunity to
reflect and grow
The rescuer becomes the coach -- asks the creator
questions to help them discover and achieve what they
want
Reframing the situation where there is still discomfort and
pain, but there's no villain
Why feedback
• Should encourage improvement within your team
(not remind us of failure)
• Must be communicated in a way that enables the
members to use it to team advantage
• An active process in which both giver and
recipient take part and can grow personally and
professionally
Specific features of good feedback:
• Stems from a set of
common goals and norms
previously agreed upon
• Involves a 2-way discussion
• Builds on trust
1. Timely
• Should be expected and planned
• ALL team members should attend
• Timely (set a good time for the team)
Ask yourself:
• What is the right time to set a feedback-meeting?
• Is this the right place?...
2. Focused
• It Is specific and avoids generalities
• It uses first-hand, accurate data
• Limited to behaviors that are remediable
Ask yourself:
• Do I have the facts, the detail?
• Can I be specific?
• Is this something the learner can/should improve?
“You interrupt me when I am speaking”
NOT
“You are really rude”
3. Appropriate
• Objective- based on agreed upon standards
• Uses non-evaluative language
• Deals with decisions and actions not assumed
intentions or interpretations
• Avoids “mixed messages”
(e.g. “you did a good job, but….”)
“You were late in completing your part of the work
on the ABC and XYZ case analyses.’
NOT
“You are constantly late with your work”
“When you were late with your part of the work
on the ABC case, it held up the rest of the group
as your part was very important”
NOT
“You are lazy.”
4. Constructive
• Is problem solving oriented
• Serves the needs of the team
• Points to directions for
improvement
• Comes to closure and gives
sense of future directions
“I’m concerned with what you
have told me. Can you provide
more specifics about the
situation?”
NOT
“I don’t do things that way.
You’re wrong!”
“You have not done any financial
analyses. Perhaps I can help you
with the next one.”
NOT
“If you don’t do the next
financial analysis you are out of
the group!!”
4. Constructive
Ask yourself:
• Can I be sufficiently calm and
objective?
•
If not, why not?
• Am I willing to stick around long
enough to pick up the pieces if all
does not go well?
5. Possible steps
•
•
•
•
•
Describe problem in detail, actions and consequences
Include specific examples if has occurred more than once
Focus on the behavior not personality or motives
State the facts in no uncertain terms
Be open about your reasoning
“From the facts I have related, I am coming to these
conclusions. Am I wrong?”
Avoiding Common Pitfalls
When giving feedback:
• Invite questions and clarifications; maintain twoway communication.
• Acknowledge the other’s concerns; listen for
what may be difficult for them to change.
• Follow up to help them with new approaches;
change is seldom straightforward.
Avoiding Common Pitfalls
When receiving feedback:
• Listen calmly; avoid over-explaining.
• Work hard to see the other’s perspective and ask
questions to clarify as needed.
• Assume good intentions unless clearly proven
otherwise.
“Let me make sure that I understand what you are telling me.”
Or
“I’m not sure that I understand. Will you say it differently?”