CHECK LIST FOR THE DECONDITIONING WORK A/ Is my thinking in tune / accepting the reality of what is happening here and now? Or am I fighting the present moment Truth: - - By imagining a past, non-existent situation. A future, non-existent situation By narrow mindedness: taking for granted that everybody should see things like me… By having an “agenda”: wanting to prove something definite, myself right and others wrong instead of having an unconditional opening and acceptance to being surprised to the unexpected Truth, whatever it is… By pretending to know when actually, really speaking, I don’t! B/ Whose business is it? - Who ultimately is going to receive the End result of the decision/choice made? Is someone intruding on another person’s task? Am I trying to control what is beyond my reach? Am I pretending to know what is best for others, are they a duplicate version of myself…? Am I, Are the persons involved responsible for their state of mind, or do I , do they feel like a victim of the situation? Am I in my power Center or compromising my integrity by needing the approval of others to feel good? Or using the other as a “crutch”? C/ Deeper ways of investigation: List “proofs of Truth” of your statements: Example: He doesn’t love me BECAUSE: he never offers me flowers; he always forgets my birthdays etc. … Then discover and list the underlying beliefs to the “proofs of Truth” list and investigate them: A true lover offers flowers to his beloved, a true lover remembers her birthdays... If necessary, you can add “and it means that……” to a sentence. Try a different order to the questions: investigate first the easiest sentence… Replace the word “I” by “my thinking”, example: I am a failure, replace by “my thinking” is a failure…especially about myself… To “he should do that!” Investigate what do you think you would get if reality was fully collaborating to your belief? When fear is involved in your story line, investigate eventually the “worst-case scenario”. Eventually, replace original statement with “should” or “shouldn’t”: example: I am angry at my father because he hit me, replace by “My father shouldn’t hit me”. If a wordless negative feeling is strong, speak and act your feeling…write down the sentences and investigate…
