Do you have anxiety?
Questio
10/01/22 10:02 PM M
I'm not anxious or paranoid or whatever. I mean, I just have a really really fine-tuned sense of,
like, OK, now they're coming for me, the government agents, and I have to be on the look out,
'cause no way am I being snatched up, not a chance.
Do you hallucinate?
Questio
10/01/22 10:03 PM M
No way. I don't see junk that's not there or anything.
Do you take drugs?
Questio
10/01/22 10:03 PM M
I guess cocaine is still illegal, right? That's the war on drugs for ya.
WHat drugs have you last used? (Clarified to What was the last substance you used?.)
Questio
10/01/22 10:04 PM M
I haven't been anything but sober for like, four days. I know I seem like I'm on something, but
I'm just this way naturally. (Clarified to what the substance I used most recently is.)
How have you been sleeping recently? (Clarified to Have you been sleeping recently?.)
Questio
10/01/22 10:04 PM M
Well, there's not much of it, but I get a couple hours in usually, and I never feel, like, unrested
or anything. Recently, I haven't had to sleep for like, four days. It's sick, completely bangin'.
(Clarified to if I have been sleeping recently.)
How are your energy levels?
Questio
10/01/22 10:05 PM M
Awesome! I mean, I'm just a high energy kind of guy, a lot of the time. But this week especially
I've felt, like, crazy up and up, and I love it. I just love it. I feel like I could lift a horse.
How is your mood?
Questio
10/01/22 10:06 PM M
I am 100% letting the good times roll. Couldn't be better.
Do you have any medical conditions?
Questio
10/01/22 10:07 PM M
Not really. They diagnosed me with depression, but I'm really not worried about that anymore.
I'm just really not in that headspace right now.
WHat are your typical moods?
Questio
10/01/22 10:07 PM M
You've got Option A and Option B. With A, we're talking about a bottomless rat hole. With B,
we're talking good vibes that don't disappoint. I'll stick with B, thanks.
How often does your mood change?
Questio
10/01/22 10:07 PM M
I'm not keeping track or anything, but maybe a couple times a year? I don't know. This is a
really nice room. I really like this room.
When did you last have depression?
Questio
10/01/22 10:08 PM M
I mean . . . I fully got out of it maybe a couple months ago . . . it started a while before that. I
dunno. Time isn't really linear, you know? I don't think in terms of, like, oh, this happened, now
this'll happen.
How were you diagnosed with depression?
Questio
10/01/22 10:08 PM M
Uh, a psychiatrist they really wanted me to see after I went to the hospital. And my parents
agreed. I guess trying to kill yourself really sets off a few red flags. I guess I had to throw up a
white flag of my own. Easier that way, honestly. Like, yes, I will see your candy delivery man,
just stop badgering me.
How was your depression treated?
Questio
10/01/22 10:09 PM M
That quack of a doctor put me on antidepressants. Yeah, sure took a lot of self-interrogation to
write stuff on a pad. I mean, my god. No intellect whatsoever.
Do you have any allergies?
Questio
10/01/22 10:10 PM M
Not at all. I'm allergic to bad vibes is all. That stuff is palpable. Like, oh boy, it's pollen season.
How effective is your medications? (Clarified to How effective was your medication?.)
Questio
10/01/22 10:16 PM M
The antidepressants didn't do diddly squat. Not a squat in sight. Squatless. In fact, those little
buggers made things worse, if you can believe it. Can you believe it? I mean, holy hell.
Anyway, I just stopped taking them. Some problems have easy solutions. Ask any scientist.
(Clarified to how effective my medication was.)
Sorry to hear they did not work
Empathi
10/01/22 10:16 PM M
Save your tears for the whales! I'm doing awesome.
What were the side effects of the medication?
Questio
10/01/22 10:17 PM M
Look, if I wanted to talk about that, I would've already told you, so move on, Professor
Healthcare! Jeez . . . you're givin' me some side effects, all right . . .
What were the details of your prescription?
Questio
10/01/22 10:18 PM M
All I remember is that they didn't work, they made me feel like . . . whatever, they sucked. They
were--they were suck pills. That's all I remember. They were suck pills made in Sucksville and I
hope they rot in Sucks Hell.
WHat other medications do you take besides antidepressants? (Clarified to What medications
do you take besides antidepressants?.)
Questio
10/01/22 10:19 PM M
Nothing at all. I don't really get sick, and in any case, I'm all natural. That's my motto -- don't
take a pill when you could keep it nat-ur-rill. (Clarified to what medication I take besides
antidepressants.)
Tell me more about t=your suicide attempt?
I don't know what you want me to say, it was -- I just don't wanna talk about it, OK? I just, I
don't -- just focus on the present. This is all that's going on with me.
Questio
10/01/22 10:19 PM M
Im sorry that happened to you
Empathi
10/01/22 10:20 PM M
That's super cool of you, thanks!
How many suicide attempts have you had?
Questio
10/01/22 10:20 PM M
One time. That was enough.
Im sorry to hear that
Empathi
10/01/22 10:21 PM M
Hey, I appreciate the good vibes.
You wanted to be dead? (Clarified to What makes you want to be dead?.)
Questio
10/01/22 10:21 PM M
Uh . . . damn, that's a really dark place, friend, you're really gonna go there? Look, OK, OK,
OK, yes, yes, that used to be -- going on. But that's what happens when you're depressed, and
I'm not depressed anymore. I love being alive and I'm not going anywhere. (Clarified to what
makes me want to be dead.)
Im glad your not depressed anymore
Empathi
10/01/22 10:22 PM M
Thanks. You and me, we've got a real connection.
Why would you believe others be better off without you? (Clarified to Do you ever think other
people would be better off without you?.)
Questio
10/01/22 10:22 PM M
. . . No. Do I feel like that? No. That's all I care to say. No. (Clarified to if I ever think other
people would be better off without me.)
Do you think about suicide?
Questio
10/01/22 10:23 PM M
Nope. Not at all. My life is the best, I'm not going anywhere. I'm golden.
Do you have plans of suicide?
Questio
10/01/22 10:23 PM M
Aw, come on, bud, do I seem like the type? I haven't even considered planning that sort of
thing since maybe 3 years ago, and that's when I actually went through it.
Have you self harmed yourself? (Clarified to Have you ever hurt yourself?.)
Questio
10/01/22 10:23 PM M
Not, like, self-harming . . . it was . . . it was one time and I was trying to kill myself, alright? We
don't -- it was a bad time, it's done-zo, done as a doornail. I'm not some, like, cutter. (Clarified
to if I have ever hurt myself.)
Im sorry to hear you almost killed yourself
Empathi
10/01/22 10:24 PM M
Thanks a million, but I'm all good, I promise!
DO you have homicidal urges?
Questio
10/01/22 10:24 PM M
. . . Wow, what a lovely question. No, I don't. I can't believe you would even ask that.
Do other notice mood or energy shifts?
Questio
10/01/22 10:25 PM M
Who knows what other people notice? Personally, I notice everything, but you can't expect
every chump on the street to be enlightened.
Do you get angry often? (Clarified to How often do you feel angry?.)
Questio
10/01/22 10:25 PM M
If somebody's threatening my vibes, I'm gonna argue. That's all it is. I'm having an amazing
time and I just want everybody to be on my level. (Clarified to how often I feel angry.)
WHat about you changes in speed of moving and speaking
Questio
10/01/22 10:26 PM M
I mean, nah, I'm just a super quick guy in general. I like to get things done and keep 'em
moving. Talk fast, walk fast, all that. What can I say, some horses weren't meant for carriages.
DO you have racing thoughts?
Questio
10/01/22 10:26 PM M
Like a greyhound. Hyah! Hyah! But it works out great, because I'm working on this massive
poem that's all about--well, it's gonna blow people's minds.
WHat activities do you find pleasures?
Questio
10/01/22 10:27 PM M
I've always been super interested in literature, like making meaning of the world we live in.
Kinda of bleeds into my philosophical meanderings you know. The epic poem I'm working on is
super exciting, like world-changing kind of stuff. Forget your chicken scratch is all I'm saying.
What about your pleasures in typical activities?
Questio
10/01/22 10:27 PM M
Ah--through the roof! Shooting the moon!
Do you have changes in social activities? (Clarified to Has your social activity changed?.)
Questio
10/01/22 10:28 PM M
My social game has been through the roof in the last week. Not to be braggadocio, but I dosey
doe with the best of them. (Clarified to if my social activity has changed.)
Do you have any changes in libido?
Questio
10/01/22 10:28 PM M
My carnal business has definitely amped up in the past week! And I'm not complaining, either.
It's been totally awesome. Friends and strangers, the sexy time has been unreal.
How are your spending habits?
Questio
10/01/22 10:29 PM M
Well, I'm spending on the stuff that matters. I'm talking about a little cocaine here, some rare
books there. I help my friends out however I can because you know? I'm a giver.
How is your financial situation?
My finances are good! My parents give me some dough every now and then, I don't have to
work . . . it's pretty stellar, ideal even!
Questio
10/01/22 10:30 PM M
Do you have any occupations?
Questio
10/01/22 10:33 PM M
I'm in between jobs right now. Actually, I'm more in between not having a job and not having a
job.
Have you had legal troubles?
Questio
10/01/22 10:33 PM M
Not at all! I'm the patron saint of innocence! Hah. No, really though, I've never gotten so much
as a ticket.
Do have a job? (Clarified to Have you ever worked?.)
Questio
10/01/22 10:33 PM M
In the past--I worked at a pizza place once. Another time my dad's friend let me work at his
office. I put Christmas trees on people's cars. I worked at an insurance office for like two weeks
one time. (Clarified to if I have ever had a job.)
Do you drink alcohol?
Questio
10/01/22 10:34 PM M
Yeah, like everyone on earth. There's nothing unnatural about drinking potato juice. That's what
it is, you know.
How often do you drink?
Questio
10/01/22 10:34 PM M
Not often -- 2 or 3 times a week, I guess. It's more of a party vibe than anything. I drink more
when I'm down, but I'm not down anymore! It's all loose goose these days. I'm not, like, waking
up with the hair of the dog. That's like, no hair and no dogs for me, thank you.
How often do you use drugs?
Questio
10/01/22 10:35 PM M
I'm no math whiz, pop, bang!--but I probably do a couple lines a couple times a week.
How do you get to places?
Questio
10/01/22 10:35 PM M
Oh, how do I get around? I'm cruising the streets in my car. I got it when I turned sixteen and
that thing's like a brother to me.
How is your diet and appetite?
Questio
10/01/22 10:36 PM M
I dunno, what do you wanna know? I'm not really big into eating. It's kind of almost . . .
peasant-like? Like, I just feel very cerebral. I barely have an appetite . . . I can go a whole day
on, like, half the everyman's calories. This week I've only been eating super small meals a day.
That stuff just slows me down, you know? Like I would never think, oh boy, three hours are
past, time to eat.
How often do you drink water?
Questio
10/01/22 10:37 PM M
Uh, I don't keep track, I'm not a marine biologist. What am I, a marine biologist? Hah. Just, like,
writing down how much water I drink. That's -- that's hilarious. Like some loser with too many
water bottles. Anyway, I dunno. A glass here or there, probably once a day-ish.
How often do you drink caffeine?
Questio
10/01/22 10:37 PM M
Oh, that stuff's for squares and yuppies, man. I stay away.
What is your highest education level?
Questio
10/01/22 10:37 PM M
I did a year in college a while back.
DO you have access to healthcare?
Questio
10/01/22 10:38 PM M
Yeah, I'm on my parents' insurance. It's such a crock, though, these insurance goons and the
Super Pharm Outlet Malls of America . . .
How is your living situation?
Questio
10/01/22 10:38 PM M
It's pretty perfect, honestly. No rent, no bills, no dusting. I just crash in my car or at a friends'
place or wherever, then I wake up and start my day. Boom. Did you know the kookaburra never
sleeps in the same tree twice? I think most people would make better decisions if they
mimicked ornithology.
How is your support system?
Questio
10/01/22 10:40 PM M
Yeah, my friends are the best. You gotta get friends like mine. Funny, crazy, geniuses, not a
dull star in the bunch. Really. I mean, we hang out like, all the time. They're wild.
Do you have a history of abuse?
Questio
10/01/22 10:41 PM M
Dang, are you serious?! No, not at all. Dang, what a wet blanket question. No, that's never
happened to me. Dang. Screwin' up the vibes.
Do you hva e family history of mental illness?
Questio
10/01/22 10:41 PM M
No . . . I couldn't tell you anything about my birth parents, but my real parents are pretty sane.
They're kinda, like, massive normies. Wouldn't know art if it hit 'em in the balls.
Do you have general symptoms?
Questio
10/01/22 10:42 PM M
I don't have any. I'm fine. I'm here 'cause some cop probably thinks I'm sick in the head.
Do you have any eye issues?
Questio
10/01/22 10:42 PM M
No, no, no. I haven't had any problems with my vision. In fact, my vision has only gotten better
and better. My ability to really see what's going on around me. I'm not trapped in some dark
room somewhere, just praying for sleep, I'm engaged. I'm locked in.
DO you have nay cardiovascular issues? (No matching questions found.)
Questio
10/01/22 10:44 PM M
DO you have any cardiovascular issues?
Questio
10/01/22 10:44 PM M
There are no bats in my chest cave, if that's what's flying around in your head.
Do you have any issues with your skin?
Questio
10/01/22 10:45 PM M
Problems? With my skin? Which exhibits such astounding beauty that moths are attracted to
me in the night, circling and circling? Yeah, right.
Do you have any issues with your stomach? (Clarified to Are you having stomach problems?.)
Questio
10/01/22 10:45 PM M
My stomach, otherwise known as Callahan's Gastropub, has a big A in the front window. Looks
good and feels great. (Clarified to if I am having stomach problems.)
How well do you concentrate? (Clarified to How is your concentration?.)
Questio
10/01/22 10:46 PM M
Oh, I've been laser-focused lately. On my poetry, that is. On my friends' projects. I told you
we're thinking about making this community art center? It would be so sick. We'll see. It's all in
the works. (Clarified to how my concentration is.)
How do you fell about yourself? (Clarified to How do you feel about yourself?.)
Questio
10/01/22 10:46 PM M
I'm the best, thanks for asking! Hahaha! No, no, honestly, nothing could stop me, I don't think.
I'm kinda like a superhero but without the fatal flaw. I'm just super. I may deign to say I'm superduper. (Clarified to how I feel about myself.)
Assessed vitals
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:46 PM M
Inspected left eye
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:49 PM M
Inspected right eye
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:49 PM M
Inspected left eye
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:49 PM M
Performed otoscopic examination of left naris
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:50 PM M
Performed otoscopic examination of right naris
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:50 PM M
Inspected top of arms
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:50 PM M
Inspected left forearm
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:50 PM M
Inspected left wrist
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:50 PM M
Inspected right forearm
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:50 PM M
Inspected right wrist
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:50 PM M
Inspected chest
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:51 PM M
Inspected legs
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:51 PM M
Inspected back
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:51 PM M
Auscultated breath sounds
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:52 PM M
Auscultated heart sounds
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:52 PM M
Palpated abdomen
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:53 PM M
Palpated right and left radial pulse
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:53 PM M
Palpated right and left dorsalis pedis pulse
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:53 PM M
Palpated capillary refill on right and left hand
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:53 PM M
Performed EKG
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:53 PM M
Assessed lab results
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:53 PM M
Assessed lab results
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:54 PM M
Assessed general appearance: posture is bent or hunched, clothing is dirty and disheveled,
grooming and self-care are otherwise adequate, eye contact is direct
Assessed attitude: displays frequent distrust and evasiveness
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:54 PM M
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:56 PM M
Assessed speech: rate of speech is rapid, but at an appropriate volume, and no issues with
articulation
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:56 PM M
Assessed mood and affect: frequent mood changes throughout interview; excessively
expansive or cheerful affect
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:56 PM M
Assessed thought process: presence of rapid thinking, disorganized or illogical flow of
thought, "word salad," neologisms, echolalia, and clanging associations
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:57 PM M
Assessed thought content: presence of delusions; no presence of perceptual disturbances or
hallucinations
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:58 PM M
Confirmed orientation
What is your name and date of birth?
Exam Actio
10/01/22 10:58 PM M
Questio
10/01/22 10:59 PM M
Lucas Callahan, born . . . [Mr. Callahan reports his correct date of birth.]
What building are you now in?
Questio
10/01/22 10:59 PM M
The hospital. Shadow General.
What is the date and year?
The date is . . . [Mr. Callahan reports the correct date and year.]
Questio
10/01/22 11:00 PM M
Assessed cognition
Count backwards from 100 by 7 until you get to the 60s
Exam Actio
10/01/22 11:00 PM M
Questio
10/01/22 11:00 PM M
Easy! 100, 93, 86, 79... [Mr. Callahan finishes the sequence.]
Assessed cognition
How are oranges and apples alike?
Exam Actio
10/01/22 11:00 PM M
Questio
10/01/22 11:01 PM M
They're both fruits, of course!
How are a lake and an ocean alike?
Questio
10/01/22 11:01 PM M
They're both bodies of water.
How are a trumpet and a flute alike?
Questio
10/01/22 11:01 PM M
They're both instruments. And they both are way underused in modern post-punk.
Assessed cognition
Repeat and remember burger, tulip, nose and tea
Exam Actio
10/01/22 11:05 PM M
Questio
10/01/22 11:06 PM M
Burger, tulip, nose and tea. Yep, I got this.
How did you celebrate your last birthday?
Questio
10/01/22 11:06 PM M
Oh, it was actually really awesome! Me and some friends did the Bake-a-Cake Blindfolded
Challenge. Then we just went out to a couple of my favorite bars. It actually wasn't as rowdy as
you'd think, but it was just great vibes all around.
Repeat the four words from before?
Questio
10/01/22 11:07 PM M
OK . . . burger, tulip, nose, and tea. Ha! Nailed it.
Copy the shapes exactly as you see them
Questio
10/01/22 11:07 PM M
Right on. Let's do this!
Assessed insight: demonstrates limited awareness of illness and is unwilling to seek
treatment
Assessed judgment: demonstrates good judgment
What would you do if you found a stamped envelope on the sidewalk?
Exam Actio
10/01/22 11:07 PM M
Exam Actio
10/01/22 11:07 PM M
Questio
10/01/22 11:08 PM M
Probably put it in a mailbox, if I saw there was one nearby.
Exam Actio
10/01/22 11:09 PM M
Inspected top of arms
Educa
10/01/22 11:16 PM M
So you can not injure yourself
Listen, I KNOW Im at risk for injury! Remember what I was telling you earlier, about the
government agents following me because they know, in their weasely little weasel-minds, that
Im an enlightened threat? So, yeah. Were on the same page.
Educa
10/01/22 11:16 PM M
Well check up on you frequenlty
Right, right, you gotta keep me safe like a little babe swaddled in the manger of life. Totally
agree with you! Im all baby blanket and pacifier. Life is beautiful, glorious, radiant -- gotta
preserve it at all costs. Im a national treasure. Kiss my feet if you want.
Educa
10/01/22 11:17 PM M
How ready are you for the care plan?
Yeah, lets do this thing. Im game. Youre game. All were missing are the cheerleaders. Hey,
Lucas! Hes our man! If he cant do it, no one can! Rah rah rah! Sis boom bah bah bah!
Comments
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