OVERCOME
Social Anxiety And Loneliness
With V.E.M.
A Quick Guide To Eliminate Stress And Discard Unnatural
Mental Processes
Dr. H.C. Connor Murphy
Social Anxiety makes you suffer…
Even simple tasks can create an unnecessary amount of stress…
Like when you have to rehearse your Starbucks order 17 times—so
you don’t mess it up and look stupid…
Or when you start to panic—because you have to make a phone call
to your doctor’s office…
And even when someone doesn't respond to your texts… your mind
always goes to the worst case scenario…
“Oh, this person must hate me and never want to talk to me again…”
And even if you know it’s not true…
For some reason, your mind just makes everything harder…
(This sucks because all you want to do is feel “normal.”)
Which makes you depressed and hate your own life MORE…
Sounds familiar right?
Well, this might come as
surprise for you…
but I also suffered from
intense Social Anxiety
And if you were like me…
you believed there was nothing you
could do about it…
It’s just something you just “deal with” for life…
Well, here’s some good news… there is a way to overcome it…
You don’t have to let this take over your life...
a
And you can do it without relying on antidepressants or long drawn out
psychotherapy sessions...
And it might sound a little “woo-woo” or crazy…
But I did it. I reached my true self.
And I want you to reach your true self as well.
(But I do admit the route I took was very experimental… more on this
in a moment)
You see, the first step is to understand why Social Anxiety causes
unnecessary pain
(And why your brain is a limiter to your own happiness).
Then you must take very specific actions to overcome it.
(Which I’ll show you below when you keep reading…)
And I know this is going to sound crazy and you’ll think how this
possibility can’t work for you…
(It’s that voice inside your head working against you again…)
But give my VEM method a fair shot and you’ll
see how to overcome Social Anxiety quicker…
Look, If it works then great… you've unlocked your potential to true
happiness.
You’ve moved one step closer to your natural state…
And you’ve unlearned what’s causing you pain…
If not, you only used a few minutes of your time.
Isn’t it worth a shot?
See for yourself… you can always go back and listen to depressed
people after.
(I meditated shirtless in freezing weather)
So before I get into it…
I’d like you to keep an open mind…
Even though this isn't some “Magic bullet” or “1 CRAZY WEIRD
TRICK” like you see all over the internet…
Your mind/ego will try to limit you
And say this is stupid…
Or that it won't work for you. Or you don’t have time (and whatever
other reason to stop you…)
Try to push past it until you try it at least once.
I’m not asking you to blindly trust me. Just see what resonates with
you. And see if you can get anything out of my experience.
Thanks and let’s address one more thing while I’m at it…
(I know I’m doing a lot of explaining but I don’t want you to look at me
and think it was because of “this” reason or “that” reason it worked for
you Connor… You don’t have *insert specific condition no one else
could possibly have*)
Remember… I wasn't always “the guy”
who could talk to random girls on the street…
(I was definitely not born this way…)
I wasn't always the “funny dude” who made omegle and street prank
videos….
Everything you see, I put a ton of time and effort into it. Just like with
Social Anxiety… I took it one step at a time.
And now nothing external can phase me (unless I allow it to)…
But trust me, there were a lot of ups and downs just like anyone
else…
(These times looked good on the surface but deep down I now realize
it was a time of suffering…)
And honestly, It was bad for a different reason…
Can you imagine if you looked like this…
But also having trouble talking to women?
(Yes, I realize a lot of people would kill to even look close to me…)
I later found out that every single girl thought I was weird…
Because…
how can I look like that and STILL be anxious. It didn’t add up in their
mind.
I completely understand it now…
there was a huge gap in their expectations and how I SHOULD be.
Sometimes I even wished to be “normal” looking. At least their
expectations wouldn’t have been so high. And all the rejection
wouldn't have hurt so deep.
(Which is trivial now because I’ve opened my mind to the truths within.
More on this some other time)
Anyways, the method I'm about to reveal
should help you overcome these internal
issues…
Regardless of age (doesn't matter how old you are even if you're 23,
34, 48, 51 years old etc)
Doesn't matter what race, gender, income, job or whatever…
You can do it.
You can be one step closer to the truth and enlightenment
Now, I know it’s been a while since we’ve talked (and maybe not at
all)…
So here’s a quick recap of who I am—in case you need it...
I did bodybuilding competitions, fitness training and made a ton of
“experimental” videos on YouTube.
Actually, Back in 2016, my YouTube channel (Connor Murphy
Now at 2.38M subscribers) blew up. I was getting millions of views
and videos were going viral.
I created fitness videos like “How
To Get Shredded” and it got 1.7
million views).
Made videos about dating like “How To Impress A Girl Instantly” and it
got over 7.7 million views.
And I recorded “prank” videos on the street like the fake shirt trick
which got over 62 million views…
It was a lot of fun (and still is for me).
And crazy how it got so big, so fast…
And I even started a podcast — The Adonyx Podcast with Connor
Murphy and Brandon Carter.
(Not saying all this to brag—just to build some credibility since it’s
been a while)
And you may not know…
I actually have an honorary doctorate.
So yes, I can call myself Dr. H.C. Connor
Murphy…
Anyways, on the surface It looked like I had it all… money, the body
(looks), the girls, friends, prestige and
all the attention in the world…
I had my ideal life at 22.
But it wasn't real…
Most people had no idea how I felt on
the inside.
I was an anxious wreck and I was
unhappy. The unhappiest I’ve ever
been in my life actually.
(Funny, when you get everything you
THINK you want—it actually exposes
what you really need)
Which led me to look into things like… antidepressants, beta blockers,
Benzos and all sorts of medications.
But I didn't want to rely on them long-term.
I also looked into psychotherapy but felt it wasn’t for me.
Actually I hope you understand something…
Most doctors and therapists are depressed. They're some of the
unhappiest people in the world.
They just put on a fake front.
So why should I take advice from someone who’s depressed? It
doesn't make any sense.
Anyways, when I told people…
I had trouble with things like ordering food from places like Subway.
It’s hard to tell them to “stop, that’s enough sauce” so I just go with it…
Or even going to a different grocery aisle—because there's’ too many
people in it…
Most people probably didn't; believe me.
Or they say things like “just get over it.”
Well, it got to the point where I HAD to do something about it…
I wanted to find happiness (which i was searching for out of
desperation)
And this is where things got weird…
The world thought I was going crazy… They believed I was losing my
mind...
A lot of people genuinely believed…
I was going to DIE…
(I even apologized for it because I know I caused a lot of people stress
and worry)
So what happened?
I took a drug called Ayahuasca—which is a plant-based psychedelic
tea.
It caused me to create some worrying videos on the channel. It was so
bad that my friends called the cops to check up on me.
Which then led to my
admittance to a Psych ward.
That’s right, you might think
I’m crazy because of this…
So let’s talk about “crazy.”
My definition of “crazy” is
someone who’s not in control.
You’re scared of a “crazy”
person because you have no
idea what they will do.
With me so far?
So I’m going to let you in on a little secret…
I planned everything.
So maybe I wanted to be admitted so the Doctor’s would give me
more credibility.
Who knows? I’ll let you come to your own decision…
But during those few weeks I witnessed a lot of truths.
Like how society is pushing us further away from your true self…
And how your brain continues to limit and restrict you.
This is causing you to suffer so badly.
Hardcore suffering.
Well, long story short… I came to terms with a lot of problems within
me. Was it the drugs or my long stay within the ward? Or was it
because I met a lot of interesting people there (like the guy who killed
his brain cells)
It probably doesn't matter because I know exactly where I want to be
now.
I found bliss and all I want to do is get you there as well.
So once it all blew over…
I can honestly say I feel fulfilled and happy.
I was able to completely rid my head of my insecurities and social
anxiety that used to haunt me.
(And I understand how to bridge the gap between science and
spirituality when it comes to Social Anxiety).
So let’s get into how this all works…
Starting with your confused brain…
(Don't worry I wont get scientific with jargon. I’ll make it easy to
understand)
Social Anxiety has a lot to do with your brian…
(I know what I said is quite obvious but keep reading…)
You see, there’s a portion of your brain called the Amygdala.
Simply put, this part controls your response to fear.
When you have Social Anxiety…
This part of your brain overreacts and grows beyond normal levels.
So when you encounter a situation that makes you scared or
unformidable.
(Even if simple tasks like talking to the cashier)
Your brain goes into overdrive and perceives it as a much larger
threat.
Which sends signals to your body…
Like when your heart starts to race for no reason, you sweat
uncontrollably and your face starts to burn up…
Especially, when you’re about to talk to a group of people…
This is why.
Next we have the Prefrontal Cortex.
This part of your brain controls your emotional response and your
ability to reason.
But when you have Social Anxiety…
This part of the brain shrinks and performs poorly.
In other words…
Your ability to react/think “normally”
gets thrown out the window...
In fact, your brain gets confused and doesn't know what to do. So The
perceived threat becomes a much bigger deal.
Which just adds more stress to the first problem…
So let's summarize quickly…
With Social Anxiety, with the two parts of your brain:
A) The Amygdala (which controls your response to fear and
threats)
B) The Prefrontal Cortex (which controls your emotional
response and ability to reason)...
Don’t perform at normal levels and why it feels like Social Anxiety is
out of your control…
It feels like depression that you can never escape from…
Now here’s where it gets worse…
Every time you have a panic attack or bad reaction to a social event…
Your brain remembers it in vivid detail. And reinforces that response
for next time…
Get anxious. Panic. Get anxious about
panicking. Get MORE anxious. PANIC MORE…
This creates what I call the “Positivity Nullifying Feedback-Loop.”
Essentially, It’s a vicious cycle where you constantly see everything as
threats.
And it limits yourself from truly being happy.
So you're probably wondering how to break out of it then?
I know this is going to sound
easier than it is…
But you have to create a new
loop/habit BEFORE the
“Positivity Nullifying
Feedback-Loop” occurs.
So eventually, the new and
positive loop overrides the
negative one.
Here’s how it works…
You see, our brains adapt and can create new pathways. In fact, the
more we use certain pathways… the stronger it becomes...
Your brain is just like a muscle…
The saying “use it or lose it” applies to the brain as well..
For example…
Do you remember how to use integers and fractions from school?
Probably not.
We rarely use them in our day to day life. And if we do have to use
them—we can pull out a calculator.
So the pathways for advanced math never get used.
But if you use it everyday… Those pathways become stronger.
It’s exactly like working out.
Do the right exercises and your brain gets stronger. Do the wrong
ones and you hurt yourself.
That's why so many people are suffering…
OK, that's enough science for today. And get into my V.E.M. method.
Here’s what V.E.M does to your brain…
It expands your awareness and is a solution for everytime you feel (or
about to feel) anxious…
VEM stands for Virtual Exposure Mindfulness...
This is a type of meditation (I created) that you can do by yourself.
And you do this as a precursor to interacting with people.
By the way… have you ever had the feeling of “cringe?”
I bet you have one way or another…
A common one is when someone starts to sing and you get this
uneasy feeling from it.
You see, all feelings of “cringe” actually stem from Social Anxiety.
And when you feel “cringe…”
What you’re actually feeling is empathy—for the awkwardness of the
social situation.
The goal of V.E.M. is to first bring
your awareness to these negative
emotions.
(Which allows you to be more
comfortable—since we're doing it
in a low risk setting)
This prepares your mind to better
handle socially unformattable
situations—BEFORE entering one in person.
When awareness is brought to these situations—they then can be
logically and rationally analyzed...
…Which gives you a better understanding to the root of the problem.
Because the truth is…
Nothing is inherently embarrassing or awkward.
It all stems from our social conditioning…
Your mind just chooses to label it as such…
This is why a socially anxious person may find a situation
embarrassing—while a confident person might not.
Alright, here’s the steps to take:
PART 1:
Mindfulness
A) Find a video on the internet that you find "cringey."
You can type in "cringey videos" on YouTube or visit r/cringe on
Reddit. Ideally, it's a social interaction between two or more
people.
B) Play the video (or just one specific cringey part) and pay
attention to your emotional response.
What exactly is this cringey feeling? Is this emotion positive or
negative? How intense is the emotion? Where in your body do
you feel the emotion?
C) Do not try to block out the emotion.
Allow the emotion to come and pass naturally. Be the observer
of the emotion.
D) Make it a game.
See how accepting you can be of the emotion. You'll find that
the negativity comes from your resistance to the emotion—not
the emotion itself.
E) (Optional) Make the emotion more intense.
Imagine yourself in the same awkward situation. Picture
yourself in that person’s shoes.
F) Watch the video again and repeat the process.
Do this as many times as needed… allow yourself to become
more comfortable and accepting of the emotion each time.
PART 2:
Analysis
After being mindful of the emotion that arises… It's time to explore
where it's coming from.
Ask yourself why you feel awkward by watching the video…
(Was it something they said? What about it makes you feel
self-conscious? Is it because you’re afraid? Are you scared those
actions will eat you alive later?)
You can even write it down or type it out.
Then follow the trail of whys as deep as you can go. Be honest and
specific. And see if you can arrive at a root fear.
An example might look like this:
A) Why is this cringey?
“Because the prankster said a cheesy pick up line to a girl and
got rejected.”
B) Why is that cringey, specifically?
“Because the girl probably found him unattractive and told all
her friends.”
C) Why is telling her friends cringey?
“Because girls talking behind your back is embarrassing.”
D) Why does it matter to you?
“Because I guess I'm afraid word will get around and every girl
at school won't want to talk to me.”
You could go even deeper, but let's say you stop there…
Here's what to do next…
1. Sit with that fear.
Let it really sink in and Imagine the worst case scenario. Go as
far as you can imagine and don;t hold back.
2. Question the logic and rationality of that fear.
Is the worst case scenario that bad? What's the probability of
the worst case scenario (how likely is it to even happen)?
What's a more likely scenario? Is the likely scenario that bad?
3. Understand why your mind does this.
You'll usually find that your mind subconsciously amplifies the
fear irrationally. This is due to our evolutionary background
which I’m going to talk more about later on (look out for it).
4. Bring more awareness to it (and create more loops).
The more you become aware and question these feelings of
awkwardness. The sooner you'll notice them dissolving in day
to day situations.
What’s next…
Did you give it a try?
If you did, I'm curious about your results… email me at:
connor@connormurphyofficial.com and let me know how it went.
You might be wondering… why do I even care?
Think of it this way… if only 1% of people who read this breaks away
from mental suffering.
If only 1% reach their true and pure selves.
That's enough to start changing this world.
Which is why this means a lot to me…
I want you to experience my experiences. And learn the things that I
have…
My goal is to share as much as I can with you…
So keep at it and I promise you’ll start to see more breakthroughs on
your journey to the truth.
And if you want more…
Later on… I’m going to release a full program (with practices,
guidance etc) on overcoming Social Anxiety, finding true happiness
and methods to unrestrict your brain…
So keep in touch.
I know this program will change lives for the better.
In the meantime….
I’ll provide you with more practical ways to get rid of Social Anxiety
All you have to do is stick around.
I’ll do my best to blow your mind.
See you soon.
-Connor
Contact:
Dr. H.C. Connor Murphy
connormurphyofficial.com
connor@connormurphyofficial.com
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