UNTITLED SCRIPT
written by
ROCKY
Mugsy, take this rabbit into the
other room and let him have it.
Rocky hands Mugsy a gun.
MUGSY
Okay, boss!
Mugsy drags Bugs into the other room and giggles as he locks
the door and points the gun at him.
BUGS
Alright, Mugsy, let me have it.
Bugs holds out his hand. Mugsy is visibly confused.
BUGS (CONT'D)
Come, come, you heard what the
boss said! Let me have it!
MUGSY
Oh, uh, o-okay, but, uh...
Mugsy hands the gun to Bugs.
BUGS
That's better!
Bugs shoots Mugsy. Mugsy wanders out of the room in a daze.
MUGSY
I let him have it, boss, just
like you said! Ooh...
Mugsy collapses on top of Rocky.
ROCKY
Get off!
Rocky punches Mugsy and draws his gun.
ROCKY (CONT'D)
I guess I'll have to take care of
that rabbit myself.
Rocky approaches the door. Bugs imitates the sound of a
police siren. Rocky starts to panic. Bugs imitates the sound
of a car screeching to a stop.
2.
BUGS
(imitating a cop)
Alright, Clancy, take the boys
and surround the house!
Bugs feigns panic as he bursts through the door.
BUGS (CONT'D)
Jeepers, the cops!
Bugs, Rocky, and Mugsy run around the room.
ROCKY
Hide me! Quick, hide me!
Bugs opens the stove door.
BUGS
Here! In here, quick!
Mugsy rushes over.
MUGSY
Hide me too! Hide me! It's not
fair! You gotta hide me too!
BUGS
(to audience)
I must be dreaming. It can't be
this easy!
(to Mugsy)
Okay, quick, hide in here!
Bugs uses a plunger to help Mugsy squeeze into the stove.
BUGS (CONT'D)
Now don't move until I tell you
to!
Bugs shuts the stove door and walks over to the real door,
which he knocks on.
BUGS (CONT'D)
(cop)
Alright, open up! This is the
police!
Bugs busts open the door from the inside and stomps back in.
3.
BUGS (CONT'D)
(cop)
Alright, where's Rocky? Where's
he hiding?
Bugs rushes to the stove.
BUGS (CONT'D)
He's not in the stove!
(cop)
O-ho! He's hiding in that stove,
eh?
(himself)
Now, look, would I turn on the
gas if my friend Rocky was in
there?
Bugs turns on the gas.
BUGS (CONT'D)
(cop)
You might, rabbit, you might.
(himself)
Well, would I throw a lighted
match in there if my friend was
in there?
Bugs lights a match and throws it in the stove. Explosion.
Bugs walks over to the door.
BUGS (CONT'D)
(cop)
Alright, rabbit, you've convinced
me. I'll look for Rocky in the
city.
Bugs slams the door.
BUGS (CONT'D)
The coast is clear, fellas!
They're gone!
Rocky and Mugsy, both very singed, crawl out of the stove.
Real squad cars pull up to the house, sirens blaring.
COP
Okay, Clancy, take the boys and
surround the house!
BUGS
Jeepers, fellas, the cops!
4.
Rocky and Mugsy scramble back into the stove.
COP
Open up! This is the police!
The cop breaks down the door.
COP (CONT'D)
Alright, rabbit, where's Rocky?
Where's he hiding?
Bugs darts to the stove.
BUGS
He's not in the stove!
COP
O-ho! He's hiding in the stove,
eh?
BUGS
Would I turn on the gas if he was
in there?
Bugs turns on the gas.
COP
Hmm... you might, rabbit, you
might.
BUGS
Well, uh, would I throw a lighted
match in there if he was in
there?
Bugs lights a match and prepares to throw it in.
ROCKY
Oh, no you don't!
Rocky and Mugsy barrel out of the stove and throw themselves
at the cop.
ROCKY (CONT'D)
Take me with you, please!
I confess! I did it!
Arrest me!
MUGSY
Please take me with you!
Don't leave us! Please!