Let us first understand why the generation gap happens. We can then find ways
and means to bridge this gap between parents and children.
Why Generation Gap?
Let me begin with two very famous quotes.
"The only source of knowledge is experience." - Albert Einstein
“Only a fool learns from his own mistakes. The wise man learns from the mistakes
of others.”- Otto von Bismarck
These two quotes were said by two great people but they provide two different
pictures of reality. It is true that only the personal experience is the real source of
knowledge. You can’t understand the pain or joy unless you have actually
experienced it.
Unless you have tried something, you wouldn’t know your true potential.
However the second quote by Otto von Bismarck is also valid as we must learn
from the mistakes of other instead of suffering the pain by committing the mistake
ourselves. However, if we develop the habit of learning from the mistake of others,
we can’t have personal experience in life and we can acquire no real knowledge
about ourselves and the world.
The generation gap between the parents and the children is due to the fact that the
parents have experienced real life and whatever they have learned from personal
experience had become a true knowledge for them. Suppose they have tried to
become an actor and failed, they might have concluded that it is not possible to
become an actor in the film industry. They have developed sound reason for it, for
example favoritism, high risk of failure etc. Hence, they advise their children not to
commit the same mistake again. In the same way, if they have succeeded in life by
following a path, they may want their children to follow the same path for success.
For example, if they have worked very hard in studies and got a good government
job, they may advice their children to do the same for a having a good life as them.
The parents start treating their personal experiences as universal knowledge, which
is false. It is because people do succeed in becoming actors without any contact
and people also fail in getting a good government job despite their hard work.
What work for one person may not work for any other person because people have
different talents and aptitude. Moreover, the times have changed in one generation
and now a number of new avenues and challenges have come about which your
parents have no idea or experience.
The children have no experience of the real life, hence they take a fresh look of
everything in life. They may be guided by the experience of their parents but they
are also guided by the experience of other people and by their own desires, talents
and aptitudes. They want to experiment with their life and discover their own path.
However, parents love their children so much that they don’t want them to suffer
failure. They want them to be safe by following their path which is tested by them.
This difference of opinion gives rise to the so called generation gap.
Impact of Generation Gap
The generation gap between parents and children give rise to conflicts between
them. Sometime children give way and follow their parents to avoid conflict and
sometime children exert their right to overrule their parents. In either way, the
relationship is spoiled forever.
The best way is to understand each other.
If parents understand that what worked for them may not work for their children
because they are different, they may not force their children to follow their path.
They may sit with their children and listen to their views to find a path that is
carved out based on mutual agreement. Such an approach would have the benefit
of the experience of the parents and the aptitude and latest knowledge acquired by
the children. This would create a win-win situation for both. They can make each
other happy by sharing their views and building up trust among each other.