�Urban Vocies �
By Rupkatha Chatterjee
FE-8-B
( no i'm not going thru an emo phase( I'll probably get rid of this l8r)(whoever is reading;dont judge i'm not good at
writing ._. and i worte this minutes after my daily cry session at 4 smth am:)))
�Breathe�
My heart is pounding.
My chest feels heavy.
I can't breathe.
Worries occupy my thoughts all day and night.
The only time I can escape
is when I fall asleep
It's a continuous worry.
"When will it strike?"
My thoughts darken.
Any happiness I once had felt flashes away
My worries control my thoughts.
My heart burns and pains me.
I feel as if I'm suffocating.
But the feeling doesn't stop.
It continues until my tears give up.
And my mind is too weak to remain conscious.
And into a deep sleep, I go.
Only to wake up with the same feeling
Just twice as worse
You have no clue.
What it's like to be in my shoes
If you did, perhaps you wouldn't judge as you do
❣My Mind❣
I wonder if anyone can hear my silent screams.
That haunts my thoughts and echoes through my dreams.
It's a deafening silence that can make even the strongest tremble.
Behind my face that carries a smile
I'm begging and pleading to be released from this open-cell I've trapped myself upon.
Ive had this feeling for longer than a year
What once started as a small spark turned into a burning fire in my mind
How can anyone hear these silent screams of mine?
They can't hear a thing as long as I tell them I'm fine.
What would I tell them?
My screams have no words.
Just feelings of sadness, anger and despair
I can't explain what I feel it's very extreme.
I hold my hand tightly over my mouth to cover my silent screams.
�Move⌛
My parents say I'm crazy, and I need to calm down.
Some of my friends say that it'll all be over soon, and I should not worry.
But how do they know that?
My parents just told me I'm going to be moving soon away from the only place I've ever known.
I have most of my friends here.
I have my school here.
I have my life here.
I can always get a new school, make new friends and start anew, but I don't want that.
I'm fine with what I've now.
I don't want any change.
I want this to be a bad dream that I'll snap out of but no matter how much I pinch myself I don't wake up.
Whenever I tell them I want to stay, their response is always
"I'm disappointed in you; I expect more from you."
I want to scream at them.
I want to yell.
I'm still a kid.
do they think I'll be fine if they just drop life-shattering news on me and expect me to be fine?
"don't you know why I'm like this?"!
I yell at them in my head.
"The first time you made me move
I got picked on by my classmates and sometimes even the teachers"
"They kicked and punched me during recess and outcast me during school."
They know what happened to me.
They know I have a fear of moving.
They know I dislike change
So why are they making me go along with this
My cries and pleas fall on deaf ears
"I just want to stay here," I yell.
I don't care if I stay with a relative or an adoption center for all I care.
I just want to stay here.
After the incident, I'm not so talkative.
It takes great courage for me to even say the simplest sentences.
I don't worry as much as before but still
I get paranoid about the opinions of others.
And now they want me to start again
It's just 4 years anyway after that they can go wherever they please
I know I sound selfish about this. I probably am.
But I want to stay here so much.
It's my only wish.
Just 4 years
Whether they're here with me or not
I'd like to stay.
I might not go out here much.
I might not get to see my friends as much after school.
But it’s still my home.
I don't want to go.
I hope I won't go.
I'll make sure I don't go
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