CHAPTER 2
THE SELF IN A SOCIAL WORLD
The self is the most studied topic in Psychology
No topic is more interesting to people than people, for most people moreover, the most interesting is the self.
Spotlights and Illusions
We picture ourselves at center stage:
- Spotlight effect (visible things): The belief that others are paying more attention to one’s appearance
behavior than they really are. (overestimate the extent that others’ attention is aimed at us.)
+ only 10% notice changed shirt on a participant after being out for a few minutes
+ Only 23% percent of peers notice embarrassing t-shirts (wearers guessed 50%)
+ (‘notice anything’, I change my hair, can’t believe you did not notice)
(when each person is center stage no one notice as much as we assume they do)
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Illusion of transparency (emotion): the illusion that our concealed emotions leak out and can be easily read
by others
o Happiness, anxiety, irritation, disgust or attraction
o (we’re not as transparent as we think)
o (can’t you see I’m having a bad day)
o On being nervous about Looking Nervous
 This may lead to being more nervous which then shows
 Impromptu speech => People rate themselves (6.65) as more nervous than another rated them
(5.25)
o Table 2.1 => those with the illusion of transparency explained to them felt better about their speech
and appearance than either of the other 2 conditions (control (just speak), reassured (it’s natural, don’t
worry, do your best)
Note: speakers rated themselves lower in all the conditions
o
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We overestimate the visibility of social blunders& public mental slips
(others hardly notice & soon forget)
o Social surroundings affect self-awareness (race, gender, nationality)
 Feeling white in Nepal
 Feeling American in Africa (a black person)
o Self-interest colors our social judgment
 Take credit for the good & pass the blame
 (students and end of semester grades)
 (politicians, spouses)
o Self-concern motivates social behavior
 Monitor appearance & change accordingly
 (politicians and the group they’re with)
o Social relationships help define our self
 Different roles in different places (personality types come into play here)
Chap.2: The Self in a Social World
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How think about ourselves is linked to who we’re with at the moment
(when people are in love “love the way I feel about myself when I am with you”
(how you see yourself as a result of who you’re with)
.
Self & Others => dynamic (self – others – self- others)
Sometimes the self is an issue => you try to quiet it down, detach from material things.
Self-Concept: Who Am I?
At the Center of Our Worlds: Our Sense of Self
Self-concept: what we know & believe about ourselves.
Self-schema: mental framework about one’s self
Beliefs about self that organize and guide processing of self-relevant information
(sexy, athletic, smart,…
+ Impact how we evaluate, perceive and remember ourselves and other people.
(you notice what you are)
+ *help us organize and retrieve our experiences
+ (right hemisphere & self recognition)
+ (medial prefrontal is more active when you think about yourself)
Possible Selves (+ or -)
+ who we might become is also part of our schema
+ image of what we dream or dread of becoming in the future
+ (Oprah W.
+ Both motivate us with a vision of the life we long for.
Development of the Social Self
- roles we play (we become the role we play; chap. 4)
- Identities we form
- Comparison with others
- Successes and failures
- How others judge us
- The surrounding culture
The Roles We Play
- the roles become reality (play a role, you come to believe/live it)
Social Comparisons
- Evaluating one’s abilities and opinions by comparing oneself with others
(our lives is spent in one comparison after another, (milestones, grade, social promotion, SAT,…etc.
smart, )
E.g. smart when others seem “dumb”/”dull” (how do you feel if you are the only one that knows an
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answer
(take some pleasure in other’s misfortune => Schadenfreude ()
When facing competition we may perceived the other as being advantaged in some way (protect our
self image.
we “compare upward”
Success and Failure
- when you believe you’re better, you work harder (further believe that you’re good at it)
- kids and sports (self-esteem is best fed from the above)
- happier
- less neurotic
- less troubled by insomnia
- less prone to drug and alcohol use
- more persistent after failure
Other People’s Judgments
- You incorporate others’ judgment into your self-concepts and behavior
(stick and stone may break my bones, but words will never hurt me)
- Looking-glass self – tend to see ourselves the way others see us.
- Self-Inflation
- Words of praise => American one day; Japanese four days;; self inflation is more common in the west
- self-esteem => gauge by which we monitor & react to how others appraise us (national level)
- when people think well of us, we tend to think well of ourselves
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Self and Culture (slide 10)
Growing Individualism (play video of Self and Culture)
- Individualism: the concept of giving priority to one’s own goals over groups goals and defining one’s
identity in terms of personal attributes rather than group identifications.
> life is enriching by the power of personal control
* the best you (Oprah)
* novels (romantic or other wise)
> affluence, mobility, urbanism and mass media
> name of celebrity kids in the states (Suri, Shiloh,etc…)
- Collectivism: giving priority to the goals of one’s groups (often one’s extended family or work group)
and defining one’s identify accordingly (Asia, Africa, Central and South America)
(it takes a village to raise a child)
> vary within cultures
Regions & political views
Conservatives (don’t tax or regulate me, morality)
Liberals (support national health-care; rights off my body)
- Interdependent self: construing one’s identity in relation to others
> naming of kids (religious, national or something new)
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> Maria, Dmitry, Jean
Culture and Cognition
 Figure 2.2
 Asians tend to describe the scene
 Americans note the big fish
- Menus in restaurants
- Personal history
- small town liked collective identity
- up rooted folks personal identity
Culture and Self-Esteem
- 4/5 canadian students VS. 1/3 chinese and Japanese believe that beliefs about who you are remain true
across activities (you become who ‘they’ need you to be.
- In individualistic – more personal & less relational
- threaten the personal bring out more anger than threatening the collective identity
- Asians collectivist compare upward
- Conflicts - between groups
- between individuals (arrange marriages, love marriages and divorce)
- kids astounded at the idea of the independent self
- Self-esteem lower in more recent Japanese immigrants
- (choices at dinner)
Examples from the arts:
Frank Sinatra => My Way
The Invictus by William Ernst Henley
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
Self-Knowledge
Sometimes, we do not know, what we think we know. (bad at explaining and predicting)
Explaining Our Behavior
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- deny being influenced by media,(which they say affect others)
Predicting Our Behavior
- others know better than we do
(voting
- Planning fallacy: underestimate how long it will take to complete a task
Predicting Our Feelings
- women and harassing questions on interviews (anger vs. fear)
- intensity and duration of future emotions
+ arousal (excited…
+ hungry, full
+ athletes, how badly they would feel
+ sadness (50 = 1000) pictures swayed
 Commercials, animals rescues
 Civil rights movement
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- Impact bias: overestimating the enduring impact of emotion-causing events (good or bad)
> other things fade when we’re estimating
> immune neglect: the human tendency to underestimate the speed and the strength of the
‘psychological immune system.’ Which enables emotional recovery and resilience after bad
things happen.
The Wisdom and Illusions of Self-Analysis
- control and explanation are different mental processes
dual attitude => explicit vs. implicit
(what am I supposed to say vs. my attitude)
Self-Esteem
=> A person’s overall self-evaluation or sense of self-worth
1- bottom-up view
the sum of all our self-schemas and possible selves; feel good about the domains (looks, smarts…
We may have high self-esteem, but with different bias (intelligence, moral, etc..
2- dynamic view
Those who value themselves in a general way also value the domains
Parents who love their child & consequently the child fingers, toes,…
General self-perception does not predict academic performance, but specific self-perception does.
Self-Esteem Motivation
- We want to maintain our self-esteem (self-esteem maintenance)
- Friction among siblings (highest for older siblings w/ capable younger sibling)
- (brothers with different level of skills recall having more friction between them, less when similarly able)
- Self-esteem threats occur among friends (shared interests are healthy, but identical career goals > tension)
The “Dark Side” of Self-Esteem
- people with lowself-esteem often have more problems (make less money, abuse drugs, more likely to be
depressed)
It may that adversity caused the low self-esteem and the other issues (escaping though childhoods)
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- high self-esteem does have some benefits (initiative, resilience, and pleasant feelings)
(teen boys who engage in sexual activity early tend to have higher than average self-esteem
> gang leaders, extreme ethnocentrists, terrorists, and men in prison for committing violent crimes
Narcissism: Self-Esteem’s Conceited Sister
o Most people with high self-esteem value individual achievement & relationships w/others
o Narcissist usually lack care for relationship with others
( the dark triad of negative traits: machivallianism & antisocial psychopathy)
o Retaliate against those who gave them bad evaluations: (great essay vs. worst I have read)
Low self-esteem & antisocial (disappeared when other variables were taken out, abuse,
Kids act aggressively b/c they have been hurt
*effects of self-esteem are small, limited and not at all good.
*high self-esteem folks are more likely to be obnoxious, to interrupt, to talk at people than w/them
*low
to be shy, modest, self-effacing
*self control is worth 10 times as much as self-esteem.
o Narcissism does not seem to be a cover for deep seated insecurities
Narcissism on the Rise
o They don’t pair certain words, (kind, affectionate, friendly) to self words
o Generation Me – “if I ruled the world, it would be a better place” or “I think I am a special person”
o Correlate with materialism, desire to be famous, inflated expectations, fewer committed relationships
& more “hooking up” more gambling, and more cheating which increased as narcissim increased.
o Increased across all ethnic groups (Asians scored lower, but both groups have increased)
Low Versus Secure Self-Esteem
o Low –
 When feeling bad – take a negative view of everything
 > less-satisfied with relatioinships; > more likely to leave those relationships
 > left room-mates who saw them in a positive light
o Secure self-esteem –
 (more rooted in feeling good about who is than in grades, looks, money, or approval > longterm well-being.
 Those reliant on external experienced more stress than those with internal issues
 *if feeling good is the goal then less open to critism, more likely to blame, succed become s
the point rather than enjoying.
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 Self-esteem motivation influences our cognitive processes: facing failure, high self-esteem people sustain
self-worth by perceiving others as failing too & exaggerating their superiority.
Perceived Self-Control
How it matters
- Self-control – did better at quitting eating chocolates than those who did not
- In an upsetting movie, those with more self-control exhibited decreased physical stamina
- The above, > more likely to be aggressive after , less restrained later when making out
- *weaker after exertion (replenished with rest & strengthened by exercise)
- *self concepts matter
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Self-Efficacy
- : A sense that one is competent and effective,
- Allows one to stay calm when a problem arise in that task
- Competence + persistence = accomplishment;; self-confidence grows with accomplishment
- Self-efficacy & memory & aging in China vs. the West
- Self-efficacy does better for achievement than
Locus of Control
Perception of control as either internal or external
Internal:
o More likely to do well in school
o Stop smoking
o Wear seat belts
o Deal w/marital problems
o Earn substantial income
External
o Ad
When faced with a setback successful people are more likely to see it as “I need a new approach”
* It has its limit (poverty and sickness happen to anyone)
Learned Helplessness Versus Self-Determination
> the sense of hopelessness and resignation learned when a human or animal perceives no control over repeated
bad events
Helpless dog and people both suffer paralysis of the will, passive resignation, even motionless apathy
Systems of governing or managing that promote personal control will promote health and happiness
o Prisoners
o Those who perceive having free choice experience greater satisfaction with their lives (fig. 2.8)
The Costs of Excess Choice
o Choices can paralyze
o Choice can enhance regret (give them a choice between 2 and they’ll regret)
o People were more satisfied with their marriages when it was harder to leave
o Marriages vs. divorces //// arrange marriages vs. small divorce rates
=> People are happier when they can’t undo decisions
(the Sheryl Crow song)
(situation caused you to change your mind – inside story, went and married his girlfriend)
Self-Serving Bias
The tendency to perceive oneself favorably
Explaining Positive and Negative Events
- A form of self-serving bias; the tendency to attribute positive outcomes to oneself and negative outcomes to
other factors
Take credit for the good, disown the bad
“invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car, and vanished”
“a pedestrian hit me and went under my car”
CEO and profits
Pay raises
Students and grade (I got an A vs. He gave a C)
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Success have many fathers and failure is an orphan
We’re bias against our biases (claim other commit it)
“Everyone is entitled to my opinion”
Can We All Be Better than Average?
- “if we all should die, I think I would go live in Paris”
Husbands estimate doing 42% of the housework, wives said 33% (actual 39%)
- More bias in subjective dimensions
- dsf
Unrealistic Optimism
- Unrealistically optimistic with ourselves and pessimistic with others
- Aiming high is good, but too high can lead to depression (shoot for the stars)
- Serenity prayer
- Defensive pessimism (anticipating problems, (what if)
- Enough Optimism to hope & enough pessimism to motivate concern
False Consensus and Uniqueness
The tendency to overestimate the commonality of one’s opinions and one’s undesirable or unsuccessful behaviors
The sense we make of the world seems common sense
- As people’s lives change they see the world differently.
- Our perception of others says a lot about us
We see things as we are
- False uniqueness effect:
The tendency to underestimate the commonality of one’s abilities and one’s desirable or successful behaviors
Our failings as normal & our virtues as exceptional
Explaining Self-Serving Bias
Assessing our competence and enhancing our image
Reflections on Self-Esteem and Self-Serving Bias
Low self-esteem does not operate with self-serving bias
The Self-Serving Bias as Adaptive
o Help protect from depression
o Buffer stress
o Motivates us to achieve
o
The Self-Serving Bias as Maladaptive
o Those who blame others are often less happy
o Group-serving bias
 Explain away their good
 Assigning bad to their dispositions
Self-Presentation
Expressing/behaving in ways designed to create favorable impression or impression that corresponds to one’s ideals
Self-Handicapping
o protecting one’s self-image with behaviors that create a handy excuse for later failure.
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o (not starting/trying because of fear of failure than try and actually failing)
o (if you try to fail, and succeed what have you done?)
Impression Management
- Date night
- We often display lower self-esteem than we privately feel
- Pic on bottom of pg.75
Postscript: Twin Truths—The Perils of Pride, the Powers of Positive Thinking
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