Ghosting is by no means limited to long-term romantic relationships. Informal dating relationships,
friendships, even work relationships may end with a form of ghosting. For the person who does the
ghosting, simply walking away from a relationship, or even a potential relationship, is a quick and easy
way out. No drama, no hysterics, no questions asked, no need to provide answers or justify any of their
behavior, no need to deal with someone else’s feelings. Certainly, while the ghoster may benefit from
avoiding an uncomfortable situation and any potential drama, they’ve done nothing to improve their
own conversation and relationships skills for the future.
For the person who is ghosted, there is no closure and often deep feelings of uncertainty and insecurity.
Initially, you wonder “what’s going on?” When you realize the other person has ended the relationship,
you’re left to wonder why, what went wrong in the relationship, what’s wrong with you, what’s wrong
with them, how you didn’t see this coming.
Susan Mcquillan, MS, RDN
feb 1, 2020
https://www.psycom.net/what-is-ghosting
Mcquillan Susan McQuillan, S., MS. RDN. (2020, February 01). Ghosting: What It Is, Why It Hurts, and
What You Can Do About It. Retrieved September 09, 2020, from https://www.psycom.net/what-isghosting
Ghosting, for those of you who haven’t yet experienced it, is having someone that you believe cares
about you, whether it be a friend or someone you are dating, disappear from contact without any
explanation at all. No phone call or email, not even a text.
Ghosting isn’t new—people have long engaged in disappearing acts—but years ago this kind of behavior
was considered limited to a certain type of scoundrel. In today’s dating culture being ghosted is a
phenomenon that approximately 50 percent of men and women have experienced—and an almost
equal number have done the ghosting.1 Despite how common ghosting is, the emotional effects can be
devastating, and particularly damaging to those who already have fragile self-esteem.
For many people, ghosting can result in feelings of being disrespected, used and disposable. If you have
known the person beyond more than a few dates then it can be even more traumatic. When someone
we love and trust disengages from us it feels like a very deep betrayal.
“I felt like an idiot. Like I had been played a fool. And more so I felt disrespected. Take the romantics
away, to have a great connection with a new friend and then all of a sudden never hear from them
again? That’s painful and really disappointing. No one deserves to be blown off.” 6
“It still felt a bit like someone had punched me in the gut when it happened. The disregard is insulting.
The lack of closure is maddening. You move on, but not before your self-esteem takes a hit. The only
thing worse than being broken up with is realizing that someone didn’t even consider you worth
breaking up with.” 7
“Going from texting every day and seeing each other a couple of times a week to nothing without the
slightest hint of why was a kick in the gut.” 8
“Ghosting is one of the cruelest forms of torture dating can serve up.”
Social rejection activates the same pain pathways in the brain as physical pain.10 In fact, you can reduce
the emotional pain of rejection with a pain medication like Tylenol.11 But in addition to this biological
link between rejection and pain, there are some specific factors about ghosting that contribute to the
psychological distress.
Ghosting gives you no cue for how to react. It creates the ultimate scenario of ambiguity. Should you be
worried? What if they are hurt and lying in a hospital bed somewhere? Should you be upset? Maybe
they are just a little busy and will be calling you at any moment. You don’t know how to react because
you don’t really know what has happened. Staying connected to others is so important to our survival
that our brain has evolved to have a social monitoring system that scans the environment for cues so
that we know how to respond in social situations. Social cues allow us to regulate our own behavior
accordingly, but ghosting deprives you of these usual cues and can create a sense of emotional
dysregulation where you feel out of control.
One of the most insidious aspects of ghosting is that it doesn’t just cause you to question the validity of
the relationship you had, it causes you to question yourself. Why didn’t I see this coming? How could I
have been such a poor judge of character? What did I do to cause this? How do I protect myself from
this ever happening again? This self-questioning is the result of basic psychological systems that are in
place to monitor one’s social standing and relay that information back to the person via feelings of selfworth and self-esteem. When a rejection occurs your self-esteem can drop, which social psychologists
propose is meant to be a signal that your social belonging is low.13 If you have been through multiple
ghostings or if your self-esteem is already low, you are likely to experience the rejection as even more
painful, and it may take you longer to get over it as people with lower-self-esteem have less natural
opioid (pain-killer) released into the brain after a rejection when compared with those whose selfesteem is higher.14
Ghosting is the ultimate use of the silent treatment, a tactic that has often been viewed by mental
health professionals as a form of emotional cruelty.15 It essentially renders you powerless and leaves
you with no opportunity to ask questions or be provided with information that would help you
emotionally process the experience. It silences you and prevents you from expressing your emotions
and being heard, which is important for maintaining your self-esteem.
Regardless of the ghoster’s intent, ghosting is a passive-aggressive interpersonal tactic that can leave
psychological bruises and scars.
Jennice Vilhauer, Ph.D.
Nov 27, 2015
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201511/why-ghosting-hurts-so-much
“Ghosting” originates from the noun “ghost”. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, ghosting means “a
way of ending a relationship with someone suddenly by stopping all communication with them” [6].
Ghosting refers to “unilaterally access to individual(s) prompting relationship dissolution (suddenly or
gradually) commonly enacted via one or multiple technological medium(s)” [7]. Ghosting occurs through
one technological means or many by, for example, not responding to phone calls or text messages, no
longer following partners or blocking partners on social network platforms. Ghosting differs from other
relationship dissolution strategies insofar as it takes place without the ghosted mate immediately
knowing what has happened, who is left to manage and understand what the partner’s lack of
communication means [8] and is unable to close the relationship [9]. Ghosting prevalence has been
examined mostly in US adults. Prevalence rates range between 13% and 23% for those adults who have
been ghosted by a romantic partner [8,10]. In Spain, 19.3% have reported having suffered ghosting at
least once in the past year [11].
Empirical evidence for ghosting behaviors is extremely scarce. Ghosting has been conceptualized by past
research, which describes it as a strategy adopted to dissolve undesired relationships without ever
having to break them up [9]. Other studies have investigated which factors are associated with ghosting.
The relation of ghosting with implicit theories was analyzed by Freedman et al. [8], who found that the
participants reported a more frequent acceptability of ghosting, more ghosting intentions, and ghosting
being used more in the past. These authors also reported firmer destiny beliefs (i.e., steady and
invariable relationships). Koessler, Kohut, and Campbell [12] discovered that the relationships which
ended via ghosting were more short term and characterized by less commitment than those terminated
by direct conversation. Navarro et al. [11] revealed that ghosting behaviors are linked to using online
dating sites/apps, the time spent on online dating apps/sites, online surveillance, and more short-term
relationships.
Raúl Navarro,* Elisa Larrañaga, Santiago Yubero, and Beatriz Víllora
2020 Feb 10
doi: 10.3390/ijerph17031116
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7037474/
Navarro, R., Larrañaga, E., Yubero, S., & Víllora, B. (2020). Psychological Correlates of
Ghosting and Breadcrumbing Experiences: A Preliminary Study among Adults.
International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 17(3), 1116.
doi:10.3390/ijerph17031116
As long as people have been involved in romantic relationships, they have found ways to end them. But
with new technology, like texting and social media, playing a larger role in modern relationships, simply
cutting off contact with partners has become an easy way to signal the end of a relationship.1 The term
"ghosting" has been used to describe the act of simply disappearing from a romantic partner's life by
ignoring their calls, texts, and social media messages.
But how common is ghosting, how do people feel about it, and who is more likely to do it? New research
by Gili Freedman and colleagues, recently published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships,
explores these questions. The team conducted two large-scale online surveys of American adults. The
first included 554 participants, and the second 747.2
How common is ghosting?
In both studies, about 25 percent of participants claimed that they had been ghosted by a previous
partner, and about 20 percent indicated that they had ghosted someone else. The second study also
examined ghosting in friendships and found that it was somewhat more common — 31.7 percent had
ghosted a friend, and 38.6 percent had been ghosted by a friend.
How do people feel about ghosting?
Not surprisingly, most people found ghosting to be an unacceptable way to end a relationship. However,
how acceptable people found it to be depended on the type of relationship. In the first study, 28
percent of respondents felt it was acceptable to ghost after just one date, whereas only 4.7 percent felt
that it was an acceptable way to end a long-term romantic relationship. When it came to short-term
relationships, 19.5 percent felt that ghosting was acceptable. In addition, the majority of participants
(69.1 percent) said that knowing someone had ghosted a romantic partner would make them think
more negatively of that person. Respondents also generally felt that ghosting friends was not that
acceptable, but they typically believed it was more acceptable to ghost friends than romantic partners.
This is consistent with other research in which participants were asked how they felt about being on the
receiving end of various break-up methods — in that study, cutting off contact was considered one of
the least desirable ways to end a relationship.3
Gwendolyn Seidman Ph.D.
Mar 08, 2018
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/close-encounters/201803/what-do-we-know-aboutghosting?fbclid=IwAR0BBbf9vH_CMZhLHHCxCoMKyEms2MC0HzlVQr6tovKJlb1n_dSEu65wagA
Seidman, G. (2018, March 08). What Do We Know About Ghosting? Retrieved September 09, 2020, from
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/close-encounters/201803/what-do-we-know-aboutghosting?fbclid=IwAR0BBbf9vH_CMZhLHHCxCoMKyEms2MC0HzlVQr6tovKJlb1n_dSEu65wagA
To "ghost" is to cut a romantic partner out of one's life, ignoring all attempts at contact, and leaving the
ghosted to figure out they've been kicked to the curb. Breakups are rarely easy, but ghosting-which
denies the opportunity for discussion and closure-can be a confusing as well as a painful blow.
Psychology Today
VOLUME/ISSUE: Vol. 51, No. 5
PUBLICATION DATE: September/October
2018
CONTRIBUTORS:

Burriss, Robert
SUBJECTS:

University of Basel

Georgetown University

University of Kansas

University of Houston

Pew Research Center for the People & the Press
Burriss, R. (2018, October). Why You Were Ghosted. Retrieved September 09, 2020, from
https://www.questia.com/magazine/1P4-2095551731/why-you-wereghosted?fbclid=IwAR2SJbUi6qYLItAqqELI04c4WQKW7XLiofcyEu1P3tEt94YMQOm0X-zlhfk
Local Lit
Ang pinakamasama sitwasyon ay na ang tao ay hindi tumugon sa lahat ng mga katanungan, at
hanapin mo ang iyong sarili sa isang mas tiyak na posisyon. Kung ang tao ay nagpasya na
tapusin ang pakikipag-usap, ikaw ay hindi ka maaaring makakuha ng anumang sagot. Maaaring
ito ay dahil ang mga tao ay takot upang makakuha ng ilang mga uri ng trauma, may kahirapan
sa trust at hindi nais na lumitaw mahina laban.
https://tl.man-womanlife.com/publication/336802/?fbclid=IwAR2SJbUi6qYLItAqqELI04c4WQKW7XLiofcyEu1P3tEt94YM
QOm0X-zlhfk
Ghosting, as said by several studies, is observed to be thriving on
this inclination. It uses an impersonal vehicle that can be put down with little to
no effort and direct contact. Homer Yabut, a registered psychologist and an
associate professor of the Psychology Department in De La Salle University,
pointed out that this is also one of the primal reasons why this phenomenon is
called into attention in the 21st century. It is easier to cut off contact when the
relationship itself is dependent on communication relayed through technology;
there is a lesser sense of obligation due to lack of personal contact.
Binoya, A., & Santiago, I. (2019, February 13). Left behind: The haunting era of ghosting culture.
Retrieved September 09, 2020, from https://thelasallian.com/2019/02/13/left-behind-the-hauntingera-of-ghostingculture/?fbclid=IwAR2SJbUi6qYLItAqqELI04c4WQKW7XLiofcyEu1P3tEt94YMQOm0X-zlhfk
As if human interaction isn’t difficult enough to navigate nowadays, ghosting is
becoming an indispensable human experience in the age of instant messaging
Rejection is an innate human fear, which is why we exhaust all efforts to avoid it. We
strive for the acceptance of our friends, our colleagues and our communities. Most
of all, we desire to be loved by the people we have chosen to love. However,
rejection is also part and parcel of living in a society. Through it, we learn about
where we appropriately belong, where our skills can be best utilized, and who will
sufficiently reciprocate our affection.
https://opinion.inquirer.net/119241/the-one-that-ghosts-away
Baylosis, M. (2019, February 1). The one that ghosts away. Philippine Daily Inquirer. Retrieved
September 9, 2020, from https://opinion.inquirer.net/119241/the-one-that-ghosts-away
Obviously, ghosting sounds millennial and unique but isn’t anything new. As ghastly as the term
suggest, ghosting has been common in relationships since the start of social media. Strolling
through the good old days, people have already been using the term to pertain to someone who has
disappeared without a trace- simply put, those who’ve gone MIA (missing in action) or AWOL
(Absent- without- official- leave)
Ghosting is also common calamity in friendship, as specified by Georgetown University, Deborah
Tannen, In the time magazine article aptly titled Why friends ghost on even their closest pals,
Tannen shares that most responses include the universal fear of not being good enough- the feeling
of inadequacy.
According to American professor Leah Lefebvre from the university of Wyomingg, ghosting cast
social rejection- causing a wide spectrum of antagonistic emotions including hate rage envy regret
and worry. As disturbing as it is, social rejection plagues a person from the inside out.
Unfortunately, anxiety isn’t only the cathastrophic aftermath of the rejection caused by ghosting, selfblame can also be a result of rejection.
https://issuu.com/heraldofilipino/docs/hf2_32/10
Villanueva, J. (2017, October/November). The great disappearing act. Heraldo Filipino Vol. 32
Issue 2, p. 10. Retreived September 9, 2020, from
https://issuu.com/heraldofilipino/docs/hf2_32/10