BASIC COUNSELING SKILLS
1. Listening
2. Tracking/following
3. Reflecting feelings
4. Questions
5. Paraphrasing/clarifying/summarizing
1. Listening
• Attending
• Silence & pause
• Encouragers – head nods, ah-huh, ok, yes, I see, repeating key words
Non-verbal skills
• Body positioning
• Facial expressions
• Eye contact
• Personal space
• Tone of voice
A good listener:
• minimally talks
• concentrates on what is being said
• does not interrupt
• does not give advice
• accurately hears content & feelings
• non-verbally communicates that he/she has heard the counselee
• use only clarifying questions
Listening
Do
 Quietly listen to the person’s thoughts & feelings; observe body language
 sense what it is like for the person (what’s happening inside him/her) before you
say anything
 express what you sense the person is feeling or experiencing
DON’T:
 Don’t evaluate or react to what is being shared. Don’t try to find a solution for
them.
 Don’t talk just to be saying something. Silence often helps a person focus on their
feelings.
 Don’t add or subtract or change any important feelings or ideas being expressed.
Don’t give advice. Don’t interrupt the person’s train of thought.
 Don’t argue with the person or dispute his/her corrections
2. Tracking / following

- staying with the flow of the person

- stay on topic, seldom interrupt or change topic abruptly
3. Reflecting feelings

- identify key emotions and mirror it back to the counselee
Questions

- to help clarify, elaborate & enrich person’s

story

- determine what the problem is all about
Open questions: what (facts) how (process or feeling)
Examples of questions
• Gusto mo bang i-kwento ang iyong dinadala? (story-telling)
• Anong pakiramdam mo? (feelings/sensations)
• Paano ka naapektuhan nito? (effects)
• Paano ka umaangkop? (coping)
• Saan ka humuhugot ng lakas? (source of strength)
• Ano ang kailangan mo ngayon? (needs)
• Ano kaya ang mensahe sa iyo ng Diyos? (God’s message)
• Ano kaya ang paanyaya sa iyo ng Diyos? (God’s invitation)
PROBLEM SOLVING APPROACH
• Problem Definition
- Can you tell me about your problem/concern?
• Attempted Solution
- What have you tried doing to solve the problem?
• Desired Changes
- What changes do you want to see?
• Plan of Action
- What do you plan to do? How? (Steps of action)