EC281 I June 17, 2020 Writing Practice Worksheet Dr. J. Garbati Instructions: Revise the following statements. Concision 1. During our group discussion regarding the authors findings/evidence within the article, we came to the conclusion that Tim Mazzarol did an excellent job with organizing his ideas. a. Revision: We concluded that Mazzarol organized his ideas well 2. Throughout our group’s conversation, we collectively agreed that we support professor Scott Shane’s argument against the implementation of government policy to encourage startup businesses. a. Revision: We support Shane’s argument against the …. 3. This is because, while there was no evidence during the 2008 recession of the positive impact of startups, that has clearly changed now since he included a couple of statistics regarding Gazelles when he states that gazelles employ 15% of the workforce and 40% of all new job created. a. Revision: while there was no evidence during the 2008 recession of the positive impact of startups, Gazelles employ 15% of the workforce and 40% of all new jobs created. Grammar 1. Silicon Valley has specific qualities about it that have resulted in it’s growth. a. Revision: 2. The first opinion presented in his article was from Professor Scott Shane of Case Western Reserve University, his argument stated that the numerous start up companies end up failing and costing the economy time and money. a. Revision: 3. For example; a startup may get funding to create an innovative product that makes a certain job way easier; now this startup can continue to grow into a Muppet. a. Revision: 4. Mazzarol arguments for the idea of promoting startups were relevant throughout the article. a. Revision: 5. The article argues that it isn’t the number of business startups that are important, but rather the quality of then. a. Revision: Word Choice 1. The author uses numerous sources to back up his point of view. a. Revision: 2. He brings up points like the rarity of new firms experiencing consecutive annual growths in their companies. a. Revision: Citation 1. In the article we read by McKenna, B we learned that start-ups are crucial in an economy. a. Revision: 2. For example, he states that “the rate of employment generated per startup is relatively low in Australia compared to other advanced economies.” a. Revision: Style This was the first sentence of the paper. What is problematic about this beginning? The author’s position towards the Australian government’s consensus towards the importance of young startups is met with criticism.
