Backpage Tips for What the Opposite Sex
Responds To
Its amazing how different creatures men and women are. What they
respond to and what they need from one another. I guess there’s a reason
they say “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.”
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In the article “How to Get Inside Someone’s Head(and Bed)“ from Single
Edition, Ruta Fox points out some tips for men and women to learn to better
provide the opposite sex the responses they may need.
“GUYS LEARN THIS:
Cuddles and compliments. We know men are visual, and women fall in
love more with their ears. So learn to say something positive, like “you look
adorable in that” or “I love it when you wear your hair that way.” It’s not
hard, and it’s free. Throw in a really nice thing once a week, like leave her a
note, pick up wine or flowers on the way over.
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[my comment: So true. A compliment goes along way, especially when its
genuine.]
Circulate. Casually dating several girls at once is OK, dating several girls
within the same few block radius, zip code or neighborhood is asking for
trouble. Her friends, your neighbors or the bartender will rat you out. Or,
worst case scenario, you could bump into Natalia when you’re with Fredrika.
Not pretty.
[my comment: sounds like a possible drama just waiting to happen!]
Give her a massage. Not a physical massage, but a “ mental massage.”
Try using some big words, women are impressed by intellect, not necessarily
intelligence. Meaning they don’t want to date an ass. Intellectual stimulation
begets intriguing conversation, so an elegant, creative, original rap will wow
her. And, don’t forget, making her laugh is the BEST route to an actual
massage.
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[my comment: A winner for me. If a man can challenge my intellect I only
want to hear more. And those who know me, know that I light up with my
laughter.]
Love her shoes. The love that dares not speak its name. Guys, please
understand most women have an obsessive and delusional love of handbags
and shoes. Having ten pairs of black high heels, each one just a tad
different, makes perfect sense to her. Not to you. To her. She’ll probably
notice your shoes right away, so go the distance and spend some time
pulling yourself together.
[my comment: well this one doesn't really apply to me. I do love shoes but
probably only have about 1/4 of the amount of most women. But I do notice
mens shoes quite often and will comment when I like them. You can tell a
lot about a man with his shoes.]
Wrestle your ego to the floor. Make a real effort to listen to her, make
eye contact, nod and then ask questions. No interrupting. Shut up about
your boat, your house in the country, your trust fund, and blabbering
constantly about YOURSELF. It’s more attractive to just be aloof, and
interested in HER.
[my comment: Like I have always said you have to be "Interesting" and
"Interested" to keep my attention.]
Don’t lobby. Just because you’re in a powerful position, don’t connive to
keep the relationship going by telling her, “I can help you professionally or
socially.” A girl either likes you or she doesn’t, even if she accepts your gifts,
and goes on a few dates with you –if she doesn’t like you, she doesn’t like
you. She’s probably sleeping with your personal trainer, anyway.
[my comment: Yes lobbying is sad. And even more sad is a women who
continues to date a man for his gifts or his powerful position even though
she doesn't really like him.]
WOMEN LEARN THIS:
Flatter his ego. Men are, at the heart of it, as insecure as anyone, even
though they would never admit it. Throw them a compliment on something
they do well, whether it’s moving money or moving furniture around all day.
Saying something nice makes them feel great. Maybe it’s their cool jacket,
the way they treated your Mom, or how they scored points on the basketball
court, dishing out a compliment is so easy and makes them feel like you
think they’re awesome.
[my comment: I am a strong believer in this one. Affirmation is
important...even if the guy says its not.]
Guys are visually driven. Look in the mirror. Yah, really look, front back
and sides, (and not in the skinny mirror that slices off ten pounds). You
don’t have to be a supermodel, all women have something beautiful. Guys
notice, and their memories are like a vault, truthfully they never forget, so
dress accordingly. Eyes, hair, lips and then the rest. Capture a guy’s
imagination, and you’ve got ‘em.
[my comment: Yes, so true. Men are visual creatures. I do my best to try to
highlight my best features and hope to down-play my not-so-good features.]
Aim to be happy. When you are happy with you, men are happy with you.
If you’re always talking about what it’s gonna take to make you happy, just
stop talking about it and do it. If you’re constantly whining about losing five
pounds to be happy, then start that workout, or better yet ask your guy to
help. J.Michael says men are goal oriented creatures, and they love to fix
things. And when it comes to arguing, aim to be happy rather than right.
[my comment: Who wants to be with someone who isn't happy and full of
life? But make sure the happiness is coming from actually being happy and
not trying to make it appear that way.]
Men tell the truth if provoked. As Jack Nicholson warned Tom Cruise,
“you can’t handle the truth.” So be careful when you ask for it, because he
might just give it to you when backed into a corner.
[my comment: Yes, overall I prefer if a man tells me the truth, even though
sometimes those truths can even be painful. But its better to face them then
have to deal with them later. I'm all about "ripping off the bandaid". ]
Guys are not your girlfriend. So don’t treat them like one. Although the
lines have been blurred in recent years, and men and women are BFFs, pals
and buddies, etc. please keep super personal details to yourself for a bit,
such as grooming rituals, pills you are popping, your progress in years of
therapy, etc.
[my comment: I do agree there is a line. But I also believe that if you are
close with someone you should be open and share personal details.
Otherwise you are just putting on a "mask" of your true self. But, the
grooming rituals (on BOTH sides) need to be done in private!]
Drop him a line. Devote some time to learning goofy guy stuff like famous
film lines such as Wedding Crasher’s “don’t take a turn to negative town” or
Arnold’s “I’ll be back.” All guys throw lines around from movies — not sure
why they think it’s fun, maybe it’s genetic.”
[my comment: Seriously, not sure I can do this one, sorry boys. But I am
more than happy to continue to hear your "famous lines" just as you are
cool with me asking where it came from.]