WAVES OF UNCERTAINTY By Natalie Eden Ranada Have you ever experience not being able to breathe? Have you ever felt that emptiness inside of you just welling up with the empty echoes of the abyss or your vision just spinning as you walk during a normal day and the sounds you hear are unrecognizable? Truth is, I didn’t have a clue what to call it at first, but its’ name was Anxiety. I never went to the Doctor but I knew deep down it was always there, clinging and mocking my every step and in everything that I do. Some days, I win its game but most days it takes over mine. Not to scare anyone but I am a Happy, kind, sensitive and jolly person and I love people. I love my friends, my family, my boyfriend, art, music, food and life. I am loved. So why do I have Anxiety? I am not really certain but I think it because I have the feeling of uncertainty,no one to talk to or when things don’t go as plan. I experience panic attacks through simple situations such as confrontations, night terrors in my sleep wakes me up screaming and the usual insomnia that affects me being functional during the day. My parents knows about it but they don’t fully grasp what I feel. I did what they told me that prayers would save me but sadly it isn’t enough. So days like these are scary especially when I am living alone with my little brother while my parents are working abroad, the tears just flows and so does the shaking. Small pleas of help for 10 long years. My music and my love for art helps me divert my attention to a brighter light. Though I think it is time to meet a Doctor soon. I plan to make the first step to becoming better. So I hope anyone who is reading this and experiencing moments like mine, take a step with me and let’s live for everydays. RELATED SPEECHES: Anxiety and Disorder by Bailey Kay - Miss Sandy City International https://adaa.org/living-with-anxiety/personal-stories/speaking-about-anxiety-and-depression I was in seventh grade when I discovered I had anxiety. I didn't go to school for 2 months because every day my mom would take me, and I would end up on the floor of the car sobbing and hyperventilating. I was a sophomore in high school when I was diagnosed with depression. I skipped class a lot, I would cry over everything, and I would never leave the house. “I thought everyone would be better off without me.” I deal with depression and anxiety every day. I started doing pageants my senior year. I discovered I loved volunteering and helping others who were going through the same thing as me. My platform is about speaking up about depression and anxiety. Depression and anxiety isn't something to be ashamed of. Everyone and anyone can suffer. So why do we make it such a taboo thing to talk about? I discovered ADAA and was amazed that they stood for everything I believed in. They want people to be able to talk about what they're going through, they don't want you to feel like you're going through these things alone. That's why I joined this organization. It has really put a step out there for people to share their stories and to be able to talk to others going through these same trials. Anxiety and depression is scary, but it's real and you don't have to feel alone. https://iamfearlesssoul.com/this-is-not-the-end-inspiring-speech-depression-mental-health/ This Is Not The End – Inspiring Speech On Depression & Mental Health I want you to know that, no matter where you are in life… No matter how low you have sunk… No matter how bleak your situation… This is NOT THE END. This is not the end of your story This is not the final chapter of your life. I know it may be hard right now But if you just hang in there Stick it out Stay with me for a little while… You will find, that this tough moment will pass, and, if you are committed to USING this pain, using it to build your character, finding a greater MEANING for the pain, you will find that, in time, you can turn your life around, and help others going through the same struggles. The world right now is in the middle of a mental health crisis. It’s estimated almost half the population suffers from depression at some stage throughout their life. Rather than join the cue, it’s important we it’s learn why we get down, and then how we can change it, because believe it or not, we create our own negative feelings and we can also ensure that we turn our lives around and be a positive change for others. The reason anyone gets depressed always comes down to the CONSISTENT thoughts we think, and the CONSISTENT beliefs we hold. Let me say that again. The reason anyone gets depressed always comes down to the CONSISTENT thoughts we think, and the CONSISTENT beliefs we hold. If I believe I am fat, horrible, ugly and unworthy of love, I will most likely become depressed or have depression thoughts If my thought process is “I must be in a relationship and earn X amount to be happy” I might get depression if I don’t achieve those goals. The point here is that anyone that is depressed, is so, because there is an external factor that didn’t materialize in their life – i.e…. (They have lost something outside of their control, or don’t have something that is out of their control) the most common reasons for depression are : a lost a job, relationship break downs or non existence, body image, comparison to others. The only way out of this is to work on yourself, every day. In school we are taught how to get a job, but no one teaches us how to live in a state of happiness. No one teaches us how important our conscious and unconscious thoughts and associations are. Is our happiness not worth more than a job? Yes it is. And before you say, happiness won’t pay my bills – happiness WILL pay your bills, when you realize you will be 10 times more energized, focused and take positive action in your life, when you FIRST choose to develop yourself as a priority, and THEN get to all the “stuff” of the world. I’ve seen some people, who many would consider to “have it all” end their life because they thought they were not good enough. A thought, a belief within them told them they were not worthy. These people that many were jealous of, many envious of, were not good enough. You must value yourself enough, to take the time EVERY SINGLE DAY to work on you. To engage in something, that will ensure you are a positive influence on the world. This of course doesn’t mean life will suddenly be perfect. The same life-challenges will show up, but if your mind is strong, if you mind is at peace, your REACTION to the challenging times will be very different.Your reaction will be HOW CAN I MAKE THIS WORK, not ‘why is this happening to me’ And then others will look to you, not with pity but with HOPE, because your strength will become their HOPE, their strength. You really can be that powerful. You can ditch the victim story, you can leave the pain behind and FOCUS on how you will react next. How you will react positively. Read. Read all you can read to get your mind in a positive place. Take steps to ensure you will be in a better position next time – whatever pain you are suffering – how can you ensure it won’t show again – Take little steps… and soon you will be at the top of the stair case. Don’t give up You are worthy You are more than worthy! You deserve to experience how great life can be – and you owe it to the world to be that positive change for others. To inspire others – who will look to you and say – he did it, she did it, and I can do it too.