How to Love and Accept Yourself
This is one of the most difficult questions to answer: how do I love myself?
For some, it seems so easy! There are many people who will readily acknowledge
their love for themselves, without shame or reticence.
For others, they may struggle with the idea of loving themselves, either because
they don’t even like themselves or because the concept of loving oneself seems on
par with narcissism (spoiler alert: it’s not!).
However difficult you find it to love and accept yourself, there are steps you can
take to enhance your compassion, acceptance, and love for yourself.
Licensed Clinical Social Worker Ken Page describes how we can learn to love
ourselves in this article on Psychology Today.
Page (2011) notes that loving ourselves is inherently dependent on those around
us. We may not struggle with appreciating our easy to love side, our positive traits,
and good characteristics, but we all likely struggle to love our flaws and
weaknesses. This is where the care and compassion of others can open us up to the
possibility of loving even the most unlovable aspects of ourselves.
However, this involves making ourselves vulnerable. Unfortunately, the only great
risk to our egos can potentially result in great intimacy with loved ones and, as an
indirect result, authentic love for our authentic selves.
If you’re looking to enhance your self-love, Page suggests beginning by learning
more about our “true” and “false” selves. Answering these two questions can help
with this:
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What parts of your authentic self did you have to hide or camouflage in your
childhood?
In your current relationships, where are you confined to too small a space?
What parts of yourself are you not expressing?