Beauty is one thing. However, it is not everything. Intelligence is not quite the key to being well liked too, just like that know-it-all among your acquaintances who everyone pretty much is uncomfortable talking to. Charm encompasses more than just looks, smarts, or ability. Charm is complex and simple at the same time. What if you were told that what it takes to be charming is already in you?
This ebook will share with you, step by step, on how to be charming. You would probably begin reading this as a slouching, awkward, confidence-lacking kind of person. However, as you go through every chapter, you would be gradually straightening your back as your understanding broadens. If you are ready to be reborn and see the world with new eyes, then read on!
The Secret Boomerang Effect
Try going back to the first few moments you shared with the people you now call friends.
These friends can be quite crazy and totally imperfect now that you know them better, but can you remember how you got close to them?
Now, they may appear relaxed about your relationship, but you know that when you need to share something serious to them, they are all ears for you—that “interest” is your connection.
Interest. You may say, “That’s it?” Don’t be tricked by the simplicity of the word. The key point here is, “to be genuinely interested in others”. Showing genuine interest in people must be graceful and patient.
Being too fast with things during conversations with people can indicate that you do not respect their own timing and aren’t giving them a chance to show themselves to you. So, practice genuine interest.
The Secret Boomerang Effect
How do you begin to become a person who is interested in others? Ask questions! The key to showing other people that you are genuinely interested in them is to let them talk about themselves and to actually listen. Try get rid of
“what” questions. Instead, ask one or two open-ended ones.
For example, when they are sharing a hilarious experience or a miserable one with you, do not just ask, “Was it fun?” or
“Did you cry?” Questions that are answerable by yes or no are dead ends. Instead ask, “How did it make you feel?” or “What came to your mind about it?” When you ask about what a person feels and thinks about what they share with you, it makes them feel that you are really listening, that you are really interested in them.
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SECRET OBSESSION?
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The Secret Boomerang Effect
“What’s the deal?” You may ask, “I thought to be charming I would need to have everyone interested in me, so why am I the one who should be interested in them?” Well, just you wait. When you show interest in people, they will like you back. Imagine that you are meeting someone for the first time, and that person encourages you to talk about yourself and cares about your feelings and thoughts. You would appreciate it. And later, in recollection of this meeting in which the other person barely revealed anything about themselves besides how nice and caring they are, you would want to return that person’s kindness and know more about them. By showing interest to other people, the curiosity and respect bounce back at you equally or even more. However, by applying the traits in the following chapter, you would become charming in no time.
Being imperfect is perfection. Imperfection creates bridges among people. It is a hint of similarity that draws relationships instead of constructing walls of a different you and a different me. Imperfection shows you are human, and because you are identifiable with everyone around you, people do not feel threatened of you. That comfortable thoughts they have about you being just like them is necessary to being charming.
To charm others, just be who you are. When you don’t know how to do something, then admit so.
It could be a great key to initiating interaction between you and others. When you don’t know something, admit your ignorance about it. Allow people to teach you a thing or two. By being unpretentious, people respect your honesty and admire how you are cool with who you really are.
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The Paradoxical Way to Be Admired
At first, upon meeting a sad person, you might feel sorry for them and try to do some things that would help them to feel better. But if they are just constantly gloomy, you would start to stay away from them—not because you do not want to help them but because you are not a superhuman and do not want to become melancholic as well.
So, if you like to get along with people—or, even better, to charm them—then don’t be such a vampire of emotions.
Brighten up, have a sense of humor, and humble down because by being the sunshine in the midst of unhappiness, harshness, and chaos these days, people will love you! Everybody just loves to be around a person emanating positive energy. How do you become that sunshine boy or girl that everybody just wants to bask in the positivity of?
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The Paradoxical Way to Be Admired
Here are a few suggestions, which of course is not limited to only these traits or habits.
Smile.
Recall those chatty and friendly old people at the neighborhood, or that cheery and smiling coworker or classmate—don’t they lighten you up a bit from your daily stress? So, remember to flash a genuine smile to people you wish to charm.
Compliment. Do you remember how you feel when someone says something good about your dress, or your hair, or your efforts on your project? You feel awesome, right? And so would others if you say good things about them. When you recognize people’s efforts and see the great things about them, they will like you. They in turn will start seeing the amazing things in you, and be charmed about how nice you are.
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The Paradoxical Way to Be Admired
Be optimistic. Find ways to see the bright sides of terrible experiences. When it rains, instead of complaining about how you could get rained on and possibly get sick, be thankful instead that the plants get watered. This optimism cheers people up and makes them find you unique .
Be humble.
So, you are knowledgeable, well-read, updated, sophisticated, well-travelled, and the like. The irony is that if you keep bragging about the things you can do and about the things you know, people are just going to get less and less impressed. On the other hand, if you maintain humility, people are going to be more shocked and fascinated about how simple you are despite having uncommon experiences, talents, or intelligence.
Always remember, positivity is a charm that is very difficult to resist
.
The Most Important Muscle
You Should Train
It is good to know that so many people these days are hitting the gym. More and more people are caring about their health. Other people work out not only to be healthy but also to look better.
However, not everyone who looks terrific in muscle shirts and spandex is charming. Some of them are just a walking bulk of biceps, or just another contracted abs selfie, a pair of strong quads, or some good-looking buttocks in some tight jeans. These may raise their chances of getting noticed, but it does not guarantee charm.
There is another kind of training that is more important than physique when becoming a charming person. If your goal is to be a charmer, then what you should be focusing on regularly is your ability to communicate.
Get this best-selling
COMMUNICATION book here.
The Most Important Muscle
You Should Train
Charming people have a way in communicating their ideas and desires to people. Some individuals are so creative in their words that sometimes it saves them from poor performances and mistakes. So, what makes up excellent communication skills?
First, they do not talk ill about other people.
Gossiping is a very terrible habit. It is often believed that the person who gossips with you also gossips about you. Don’t be a gossiper.
People would find it cool if you see others in a positive light.
The next skill is quite related to the first— don’t discriminate!
Do not be selective in who you would associate with and who you would ignore.
Practice communication via
Virtual Reality here.
The Most Important Muscle
You Should Train
When you are able to harmonize with diverse kinds of people, you are totally amazing in other people’s eyes.
Listen and do not just hear. When someone talks to you about something, give him your full attention. Put down your phone. Get off the computer. Listening equates to sincerity and care.
Lastly, express yourself with confidence!
Now, take note that confidence is not the same as bragging. Confidence means you are certain about what you are communicating.
Practice communication via
Virtual Reality here.
The Most Important Muscle
You Should Train
For example, if you want to tell your boss about an idea, then say it with confidence. Compare “Is it possible for us to use these colors for our project? I kind of think that they can grab people’s attention” to “Let’s use these colors for our project because they grab people’s attention.” The first one may seem polite but weak. The second one is also nice, and at the same time it has conviction. Your certainty will surface in your confident way in communicating to others.
Confidence is not natural trait, instead it can be practised.
Try Virtual Speech where you can practise and boost your confidence in communication from the comfort of your home.
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Every man is secretly obsessed with …..
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Being charming is not about being selfish.
Charisma is how you make others feel, and because of that great feeling that stems from you, people in turn also feel good about you. It might seem that so much effort is required of you to become charismatic when those charming individuals you see seem to have it very easily.
But that’s the thing—charming people were either already born charismatic, or they learned early on how to do it and have practiced for a while.
One day, it may just surprise you that you have become that person that everyone wants to hang around with. One day, it may just surprise you that your admirers have grown exponentially. To make it happen, you need to start by practicing the tips that are suggested to you. Good luck to you!