Vanessa Anne T. Haro, RPm
[email protected],com
There are people inspired to finish this paper. Mr. Marvin Libranda, who is very
supportive and humble professor who always considerate us, his students, with
different facets of our lives. In my case, work and studies were involved.
To my family and friends, who keep inspiring and pushing me to reach my highest
who inspired me to be myself,
and always reminds me
that whatever you do,
do it for your family.
When we think of our values, we think of what is important to us in our lives
(e.g. security, independence, wisdom, success, kindness, pleasure). Each of us holds
numerous values with varying degrees of importance. A particular value may be very
important to one person, but unimportant to another. A level of consensus regarding
the most useful way to conceptualize basic values has emerged gradually since the
Today, students expect more from education than just the acquisition of
information. They want an education of stiffer stuff. They prefer to set up their own
values and goals of someone else. Since no two people see the same thing in the
same way, they see what they want to see and hear what they want to hear from their
own point of view. As Carl Roger’s says: A person learns significantly only those
things which he perceives as being involved in the maintenance of or enhancement
of the structure of self.”
Values’ education is a term used to name several things, and there is much
academic controversy surrounding it. Some regard it as all aspects of the process by
which teachers (and other adults) transmit values to pupils.
Others see it as an activity that can take place in any organization during which
people are assisted by others, who may be older, in a position of authority or are
more experienced, to make explicit those values underlying their own behavior, to
assess the effectiveness of these values and associated behavior for their own and
others’ long term well-being and to reflect on and acquire other values and behavior
which they recognize as being more effective for long term well-being of self and
This means that values education can take place at home, as well as in schools,
colleges, universities, offender institutions and voluntary youth organizations. There
are two main approaches to values education. Some see it as inculcating or
transmitting a set of values which often come from societal or religious rules or
cultural ethics.
Others see it as a type of Socratic dialogue where people are gradually brought
to their own realization of what is good behavior for themselves and their
community. Value education also leads to success. It has values of hard work, how
nobody is useless and loving studies.
Explicit values education is associated with those different pedagogies,
methods or programs that teachers or educators use in order to create learning
experiences for students when it comes to value questions. Implicit values education
on the other hand covers those aspects of the educational experience resulting in
value influence learning, which can be related to the concept of hidden curriculum.
This discussion on implicit and explicit raises the philosophical problem of whether
or not an unintentional action can be called education.
Even though the world changes rapidly, the values that students need to
develop are actually not really much different to those that were taught in bygone
generations. It is just the application of those values in education that has changed.
Showing respect to others, for instance, or caring for the environment are
just as important as they ever were – and maybe even more so – but they are now
applicable in a variety of new ways
Our values are important because they help us to grow and develop. They
help us to create the future we want to experience.
Every individual and every organization is involved in making hundreds of
decisions every day. The decisions we make are a reflection of our values and
beliefs, and they are always directed towards a specific purpose. That purpose is
the satisfaction of our individual or collective (organizational) needs.
1. What mistake is commonly committed by Filipinos regarding values?
I still can recall when I was a kid, I can't count how many varieties store there is
in our place. End to end of both side of the street, side by side is a variety store. But
they both sale the same. Not like SM malls "We've got it all" is the slogan, the
Filipino seems like "the more the merrier" indeed.
Apparently it is so common to see. But did you know that it reflects the second
of negative effects of our culture - by having a severe scattered apart. Its number is
like the 7,107 islands of our country, its the degree of individualism of Filipino.
Severe is the "we and we" and "individuality" mentality of ours. Bisaya against
the Tagalog. Muslim against the Christian. Pampanga's Best versus Batangas’
Maybe this is one of the most severe disease of our country. It seemed that we do
not have obligation to protect or thoroughly providence whatever that is outside of
our "range". Just like one of a known slogan said, "clean your own backyard".
There is a big tendency that we Filipino can imprison ourselves inside one group
or jurisdiction. Our whole loyalty and devotion is absorbed in there. The worst is
that we forgot how to intervene others. "It's not my care. I’m out of that. It's up to
you it’s your life, I don’t care, I have nothing to do with you."
If it is outsider or other people, maybe sometimes or twice we will give them
favor and deal with them with our best, but surely expect it, it has an end. What are
you, Lucky nine? Or in Filipino, "Aba, sinuswerte ka naman!"
This mentality can be the root why until now, after how many EDSA Revolution
has been made, our unity is just becoming a fleeting in our country. Eventually the
strop of interest is dominant of each and every group. Never mind if it makes the
country bad, as long as it makes the party good. The infection is pretty serious and
seem to have been the complications that affected our politicians.
This mentality is one of the important thing that must be changed in our culture.
Until we will not know how to open up our will to "others" we will not advance until
we will not learn how to accept them as a part of our lives.
2. What is Filipino Moral Ideal?
There may be negative traits that are common to many Filipinos, such as crab
mentality (envy and insecurity), Mañana habit (procrastination) and Tardiness,
that are hindering our country’s progress and human development index. But on
the other side, we also have several positive traits that make us one of the most
admirable people on Earth.
1. Hospitability. It’s one of the most popular traits of Filipinos. We are usually
friendly and welcoming to our guests. This Filipino attribute makes the
Philippines one of the most favorite destinations by tourists who want to enjoy
the beauty of our nature and the friendliness of our people, not to mention we
can also understand and speak English.
2. Adaptability and resilience. Despite of all the calamities that struck our
country, like the strong earthquake and Super Typhoon Yolanda (Haiyan) that
devastated the central part of Visayas in 2013, Filipinos are persistent enough
to get back on their feet, even without the solid help from the government. We
can also adapt to any type of environment and mingle with any kind of people
all over the world.
3. Resourcefulness and creativity. Filipinos are known for ingenuity. We are
creative in many ways, whether it’s in art, music, science, technology and
business. Some of our smartest countrymen can come up with a brilliant idea
despite of poverty or lack of financial resources. We are also good in recycling
trash and turn them into ingenious products.
4. Faithfulness. The Filipinos are one of the most faithful people in the world.
Whatever our religion is, we remain faithful and we don’t lose hope for a
better tomorrow. Our faithfulness and hopefulness keep us kind, positive,
peaceful and determined to achieve our goals no matter how impossible they
may seem.
5. Unity in bayanihan spirit. We are in close relationship with our neighbors.
In barangays and most subdivisions, the people in the neighborhood know
each other, talk each other, help each other, and protect each other. Our
communities are organized. We help each other to make our fiestas, festivals
and other events lively and colorful to make sure that our visitors will have a
great experience.
6. Thriftiness. There may be Filipinos who are living beyond their means. But
on the brighter side, there are also many Filipinos who are frugal. We shop
wisely to save our money for future important uses. We are conscious on the
price tag, discounts and quality of the products we buy to get the most out of
our money. Filipino parents also do sacrifices like skipping the stuff they want
to buy for themselves just to save their money to buy things that can make
their children happy.
7. Politeness. Filipinos are courteous people. The children and young Filipinos
will always use the words “po” and “opo” to show respect to someone who’s
older or who’s in the higher position than them. We also do the “mano po”
gesture (bringing the back of the hand of an elder to one’s forehead) as a sign
of respect to our elders. Moreover, Filipino workers will always address their
customers with “sir” or “ma’am” to show humility and honor to serve them.
8. Family-oriented. Filipinos are willing to make big sacrifices just to make
sure that their loved ones will have a good life. Our parents will do anything
just to give us a brighter future.
9. Bravery. There’s a hero’s blood running on our veins. We have the most
fearless heroes who only think of defending our homeland. Remember LapuLapu, Andress Bonifacio and Jose Rizal. Moreover, our soldiers are probably
the bravest in the world. General Douglas MacArthur was even quoted saying
“Give me ten thousand Filipino soldiers and I will conquer the world.
10. Jolliness and sense of humor. The Philippines is a country of smiles.
Nothing can take away the humor and jolliness of many Filipinos, not even
super typhoon Yolanda – the strongest recorded typhoon that made a landfall.
Despite of the tragedy, Yolanda survivors can still be seen smiling, positive
and hopeful to rebuild their lives even better. The Filipino humor is evident
everywhere, from comedy films, TV shows, to every Filipino you will meet.
11.Discretion and dignity. Perhaps many of our politicians don’t have a
delicadeza. But our people, especially the Filipinas, still observe delicadeza.
Despite of the growing number of Filipinos who are giving up their
delicadeza, there are still many Filipinos who always think twice before they
make a decision that can affect their dignity and honor.
3. What is Moral Integrity?
Moral Integrity is the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles,
or moral uprightness. It is a personal choice to hold one's self to consistent standards.
In ethics, integrity is regarded as the honesty and truthfulness or accuracy of one's
actions. Integrity can stand in opposition to hypocrisy, in that judging with the
standards of integrity involves regarding internal consistency as a virtue, and
suggests that parties holding within themselves apparently conflicting values should
account for the discrepancy or alter their beliefs. The word integrity evolved from
the Latin adjective integer, meaning whole or complete. In this context, integrity is
the inner sense of "wholeness" deriving from qualities such as honesty and
consistency of character. As such, one may judge that others "have integrity" to the
extent that they act according to the values, beliefs and principles they claim to hold.
4. What do you mean by this saying, “Ang hindi lumingon sa pinanggalingan,
ay hindi makakarating sa paroroonan.”
This saying represents the common Filipino attitude that when someone in a low
class economic status shines or became powerful, he or she needs to acknowledge
where he or she came from. We should go back to our roots or else we will
become arrogant people who looks very low to poor people. Instead of blinding
ourselves to the luxury and opportunities we had, we should look for ways to help
people because we were once like them, and imagine if nobody helped you in the
past, you are not in your place right now.
5. List down your strengths and weaknesses as a person.
Fluent in local and foreign language
Research inclined
Writing inclined
Good conversationalist
Hardworking & healthy competitive
Excellent outputs in any kinds of work
Fair, transparent, and just
Concern with people
Critical thinker
Sometimes emotional or apathetic
Selective in learning
Social bantering
Science and Math
Household Chores
6. Using Photo Language, answer the question: Who Am I?
7. With the use of the lifeline or personality line, answer this question: Where
am I going?
8. Why do we need to journey back to our own selves? To our own family?
We need to go back to our own selves because this is our roots and origin. We
can never go on smoothly with our life if we still have unresolved issues or
hang ups in life. In Filipino Tradition, our goal is not to be Independent. The
goal of being Independent only applies in Western Culture, where adolescents
must be ready when they reached 18 because that means they need to go out
from their homes. But here in the Philippines, our goal is to be intact in our own
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families. Also, to help them out if they need support. We cannot just leave our
parents alone especially if they are in need. Or probably not in need, it is our
tradition to disconnect ourselves to them because they are big part of our lives.
9-10. Explain these statements:
a. There is no place like home.
b. Madali ang maging tao, mahirap magpakatao
9. There is no place like home.
Home is not a building, a house is a place where we feel the best, safest and
most convenient. Convenience is not everything. In the house counts above all
the atmosphere and our relationships with the people who create it. Man always
seeks its place in the world, a place that can be called home. Man can see the
whole world and in many places live out well, but it always comes back to the
place they call home. I agree with the proverb in the title. My opinion is: If you
have a home, you will feel loved, safe, comfortable and confident. "Home" and
"house" are not always synonyms. Home is where your family is. Home is
where you can be yourself and where everybody accepts you. Good home
creates proper environment to grow, to learn, to develop and to gain experience.
Home is a place to whom you will always want to return. It's true! We feel safe
comfortable and confident when we are in our home we can count on people
who create the home with us home is place where we can always return no
matter what.
10.Madali ang maging tao, mahirap magpakatao
In this proverb, it only signifies that it is very easy to become biologically
human, but acting as a good human seemed very difficult. In my own point of
view, it is true. Even in myself, it is so hard to be a good person.
11.What is the difference between personality and character?
While personality shows what you are outside or what you are to the world,
character reveals what you are inside. As these are directly related to a person’s
attitude and behaviour, most people get confused between these two easily.
We all are same in many ways like we all have got the same human body,
nature, feelings, mind and so on. But if you observe deeply you will find that every
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human being has certain different traits and habits that make him/her unique. It is a
fact that two persons can never be exactly identical to each other, even if you talk
about twins, they also differ more or less in their perception, hobbies, mood,
nature, etc. Difference Between Personality and Character
Personality can be defined as a combination of mental behaviour and traits or
qualities like thinking pattern, feeling and acting. It is a range of enduring
tendencies of an individual to think, feel and behave in a specific manner in diverse
situations. It refers to the systematic arrangement of all your dispositions like
attitude, thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc.
By the term character, we mean an enduring and distinguishing mental and
moral characteristics in an individual. It is the only factor which determines our
reaction or response to the given event or situation. It defines a person’s behaviour
pattern, thinking style, controls feelings. It is based on the environment that
surrounds us, mental ability, moral principles and similar other factors. It is the
most precious thing possessed by a person, evidenced by the limits he/she never
Comparison Chart
Personality refers to the
range of distinctive personal
qualities and traits of an
A character refers to a set of
morals and beliefs that
defines how we treat or
behave with others and
Who we seem to be?
Who we actually are?
Personal and physical
Mental and moral
What is it?
It is the identity
It is a learned behavior
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Outer appearance and
behavior of a person.
Traits of a person that are
May change over time.
Remains same.
Validation of
Not required
12.Mention a person you know whom you admire because of his/her
character. Describe his/her outstanding qualities.
I would pick my mom. My mother is a very self-sacrificing person. All her
life, she worked for the benefit of her family. She is strict and very goaloriented.
13.What is the purpose of marriage?
According to the Huffington’s Post Journal, the purpose of marriage is not
motivated by survival of the species, the urge or mandate to procreate, nor merely
to enjoy the pleasures of sex. Love is the unitive factor in marriage.
If you listen to contemporary conservative Christians who are opposed to gay
marriage, you might get the idea that Christianity teaches that the only legitimate
purpose for sex is procreation and that marriage exists to sanction sex. Whether
you listen to quasi-Christian populists like Ralph Reed, James Dobson, or read
statements such as the Manhattan Declaration, the notion that marriage is
structured around procreation is taken as axiomatic. In the Christian tradition,
however, the meaning of marriage is more than an open question, and certainly
not as dogmatic as they make it seem.
A natural response is to ask about the legitimacy of marriages for infertile
couples, given the assumption that procreation both defines and fulfills marriage,
and the Declaration has an answer. The marital commitment between a man and
a woman, they claim, is consummated by a single purpose, which is expressed
by “fulfilling together the behavioral conditions of procreation” (emphasis mine).
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In other words, marriage is to be structured around having sex in order to
procreate, whether you can actually procreate or not, which legitimizes sex within
the marriage.
So, according to the signers of the Declaration who come from these three
very disparate traditions, Christianity teaches that even if you know that as a
couple you cannot have children, as long as your marriage is structured around
the desire to have children through sexual intercourse (i.e., as long as you have
the right structure, the results are unimportant), your marriage is sanctioned
according to its purpose even if you cannot possibly fulfill its purpose. Quickly,
such reasoning dissolves into nonsense.
One might argue in response, tongue-in-cheek, that rather than defending the
“Christian institution of marriage” from the legalization of same-sex unions, it
opens the door. Any same-sex couple who agrees to behave as an infertile couple,
structuring their marriage around sex, and sex around an impossible procreative
act, can therefore make their marriage legitimate in the eyes of the Church as
well. Narrowly defining behavioral conditions in terms of genitalia quickly can
be reduced to absurdity whether we are talking about an infertile couple, or two
members of the same sex. At the very least, the contorted logic encourages
cognitive dissonance for infertile couples if not outright irrationality.
Fortunately, it isn’t necessary to further twist logic in convoluted arguments
because there is no conciliar dogmatic pronouncement on the subject, and it is
not, contrary to what is inferred in the Manhattan Declaration, a dogma, such as
is, say, the dogma of the Trinity, or of the two natures of Christ. Secondly, many
recognized theologians and laity throughout history and in many different
Christian communions today have a very different perspective.
The meaning of sexual reproduction among higher organisms therefore
through mutual desire and love brings into being a greater range of meaning and
significance than the singular, instinctual purpose of propagation, but rather the
same mystery that unites Christ to his bride, the Church, which is love.
14.How can couples avoid ending up with legal separation?
Children are so much better off in a nuclear family, and unfortunately, there
are far too many families that have failed. While both husband and wife have a
responsibility to build and strengthen marriages to provide a stable environment
for children, there are many things men can do as husbands and fathers to try to
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protect and preserve their marriage relationships and avoid a divorce and the
issues that come from it.
Banish Divorce from Your Thoughts
If you have an idea that you would be better off outside the marriage, that
thought alone can cause a major break in your motivation to make it better.
Simply deciding that divorce is not an option will help you focus on what you
can do rather than on what you don't want to do.
Honor and Respect Your Partner
Granted, your partner may not be the same person she was when you married.
But she is still worthy of respect and honor. She is an incredible person in her
own right. Consider making a list of her most amazing and endearing qualities
so you can remember why it was you fell in love in the first place.
Communicate, Communicate and Communicate
There is no substitute for talking regularly and about everything. Our wives
feel intimacy with us when we share openly about our lives, our interests, our
dreams and our expectations. A family therapist friend of mine suggests that
husbands and wives set aside 30 minutes each day without interruptions where
the couple can just talk together. Effective communication is an important
way to strengthen marriage.
Share Financial Expectations and Budgets
The demise of many families revolves around finances. Often we bring
different expectations about money to a relationship and coming to agreement
on how we handle money together is a critical component of success. Agree
on a budget and an approach to debt and then live within your limits. Learn to
differentiate between a need and a want, and then make sure your needs are
Give Her the Right Amount of Space - the Amount She Wants
One of the hardest balances to find is the amount of time to spend together.
Too much is smothering; too little is inattentive. So when she needs some
space to herself or with girlfriends, let her have it. When she wants more time
with you, make time for her. If her time away from you begins to grow, it's a
good time to sit down and talk about expectations and needs.
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Take Care of Yourself
Many wives I have talked with have become a bit disillusioned with marriage
when their spouse starts to fall apart physically. Shave and shower on the
weekends; make time to exercise and eat smarter. Gaining weight and not
taking good care of yourself is a turn-off for her. And the better care you take
of yourself, the more likely she is to care more about her appearance too.
Keep Up the Courting
One of the best ways I know to keep a bit of a spark in marriage is to make
time to court your wife. Make time for a "date night" every week, even if it is
just a drive out for a milkshake. When times were leaner for us, my wife and
I would trade babysitting with another couple, put the baby in a stroller and
walk around the mall. Leave her little love notes where she will find them.
Bring her a single rose occasionally. Little courting pleasantries go a long way
in keeping a marriage strong.
Forgive Quickly
Often marriages begin to fall apart when one partner or another holds a
grudge. Forgiveness is a gift that you give yourself more than one you give
your partner. So refuse to hold grudges and have a forgiving spirit.
Don't Hesitate to Get Help
If you are still having challenges, consider getting counseling or couples
therapy. Often your workplace (or hers) will have access to an employee
assistance program or EAP, where you can get some initial help and a referral
to others. You might consider starting with a trusted member of the clergy if
you share a religious heritage and then move beyond if needed.
Don't Try to Control Your Partner
Give her room to be the person she is and learn to cooperate.
Disclose and Discuss Other Friendships
Partners often become suspicious when men have relationships outside
marriage, however innocent.
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Little Compliments Matter
Find something nice to say about your sweetheart every day.
Remember She is a Mom, Too
Sometimes men forget that his wife is also a very busy mother with many
demands on her time. She does not exist just to be a playmate. So be sensitive
to the demands on her time and lighten her load when you can.other with many
demands on her time. She does not exist just to be a playmate. So be sensitive
to the demands on her time and lighten her load when you can.
15.Why “live-in” relationship a morally dangerous venture?
Live in relationships are more common than you might think. Everyone has
different thoughts and perceptions which would lead them to accept or disapprove
of such relationships. While there are many reasons for a couple to decide to move
in together, it involves a certain kind of responsibility- one that you might need to
evaluate yourself on before you decide to take this step in your relationship.
The very advantage of being in a live-in relationship, is its biggest disadvantageLack of Commitment. It is assumed that human relationships are weak and complex.
Because of all the pressure and responsibilities that come with marriage, couples
prefer being in cohabitation to satisfy their various needs. However, a married couple
will make every possible effort to save their relationship, and seek solutions to
problems and misunderstanding before splitting up than the people in a live-in
relationship. Despite the many debates that spark in the minds of people when it
comes to live-in relationships, there are positives and negatives to the same.
A live-in relationship is like a marriage without all the legalities and responsibilities.
You get to know your partner better, and understand the other at a much deeper level.
Sometimes, couples opt for a live-in relationship before they can get married to
experience what it is like before you take it a step further. This is beneficial as you
can evaluate the areas that you both may need to work on or if you really want to be
married to your partner.
For some, it is just the pure bliss of waking up next to each other every morning,
constantly being in each other’s presence and going to bed together. Some choose a
live-in relationship because they cannot handle the type of commitment a marriage
entails. In such cases, the couple finds that living together without the legalities suits
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them and their life better. They probably do not want to risk being tied up in a messy
divorce battle, should the relationship break down.
Social Censure is a great disadvantage of live-in relationship. Society finds it
hard to accept such a relationship open-heartedly. It is considered as non-acceptable
especially by the older generation. Couples in such type of relationship are often
harassed by the society for their choice. Another disadvantage is the lack of
commitment. Any quarrel or fight can lead to a split, whereas in a marriage a fight
is often followed by reasoning and resolving.
A long time into the relationship, one of the partners may feel ‘suffocated’ in
the relationship due to the lack of personal space. Some may even feel a sense of
monotony which causes trouble for the relationship and could eventually lead to a
heart-breaking split.
16.What is “Ideal Family”?
The ideal family is the place of the eternal love of parents, the eternal love of
husband and wife, and the eternal love of children centering upon God.
Even though a person with lots of property and fortune sings songs of happiness,
these external belongings cannot be the cause of his or her happiness. Even though
they may come along with happiness, they cannot be happiness itself. Then what
decides happiness? There should be loving parents, a couple, and children. Nobody
can deny this. In proportion to any part missing among those, there will be a
proportionate sadness and dissatisfaction in one's heart.
There must be parents, husband, wife and children in a family -- such a family
can be the site of happiness. God's purpose to look for humankind must also be to
grope for happiness, because without human beings God Himself cannot establish a
site for happiness. Unless God has the proper relationship with human beings, He
cannot accomplish His ideal of happiness. When the world of emotion is filled by a
family, we feel happiness; likewise God feels happy in such an atmosphere.
Where does unhappiness start? When the nest of love disappears, unhappiness
starts. A happy family is the family serving the parents as the wall protecting the
house. The family vertically serves the parents representing heaven, and the family
is represented by a husband and wife in love, who were strangers before, but who
are creating the moral law and are carrying on the lineage.
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From where does happiness come? It comes from a family. If there's an emotional
problem, happiness cannot be established; neither can it be established where heart
and love are lacking.
A formula is not something special. If there's a subjective content which can be
applied everywhere in order to maintain one specific type of relationship, it becomes
a formula. When we can come to a conclusion by using one specific term
representing the same phenomena everywhere, it becomes a formula. That's the
Principle. The formula means the center. The center is a vertical standard; therefore,
the vertical standard is not two, but one.
Who is the center of a family? The oldest one is the center. If a great grandfather
is alive, he is the center. In the time near his death, if the family members neglect
the great-grandfather, it will be the same as neglecting the vertical world. Even
though he is in his dotage, the center of the family is the great-grandfather. At
mealtime, we should serve him first. Even if the father is the president of the nation,
the family members should serve the grandfather first because the son is in the
horizontal position.
Whom do you like best in your family? Your parents, right? Why do you like
them most? Because they are the nearest position with which you can sustain a love
relationship throughout your entire life.
The one you love next best is your husband or wife. The unconditional love
between a husband and wife is the favorite to bring happiness and harmony, even
though this love is not the most intimately close to God's absolute and unchanging
Finally, there is the children's love for parents. If the children can sacrifice for
and love their parents in a positive manner, while longing for an ideal environment
in which the hope of the future can bloom, their love will be a pure and sincere
contribution to the happiness of the family.
17.Is “Family Planning” important to family’s happiness?
Natural family planning is when natural signs, such as body temperature, are used
to identify when a woman is at her least and most fertile during each menstrual cycle,
to help either avoid or plan pregnancy. This is known as fertility awareness.
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There are a number of ways to assess whether it is likely that you are currently
fertile. You can: calculate where you are in your menstrual cycle (how long since
your last period) – most women ovulate (produce an egg that is ready for
fertilization) 10-16 days before they have their period; check the consistency of the
mucus in your cervix (the opening to the womb) –if the mucus looks white and
creamy in color it is normally a sign that you are fertile; take your temperature daily
– if your temperature rises above normal for a few days it is usually a sign that you
are no longer fertile.
The family with parents' true love, a couple's true love, and children's true love
must be the most ideal family in the world.
The favorite in a family is not decided by you. Then who is the one of the most
value? The parents are. Take yourself as an example. Authority, knowledge, fame
and money are precious to you, but none of them are more valuable than your
parents. Next in value would be your spouse and finally your children.
Advantages of natural family planning include:
It does not cause any side effects; once the techniques have been learnt; there
should be no further input from health professionals; natural family planning is
acceptable to all faiths and cultures
Disadvantages of natural family planning include:
Natural family planning does not protect against sexually transmitted infections
(STIs) such as chlamydia or HIV; you will need to abstain from sex during the fertile
time of your menstrual cycle which some couples can find difficult; it is not as
effective, as other forms of birth control, such as the contraceptive implant.
18.As a youth, what manner of discipline do you expect from your parents?
One of the difficulties of raising teenage children is achieving the right
balance between love and discipline; liberties and limitations; and, independence
and responsibility. Too much love and support is smothering and interpersonally
intrusive. Insufficient love and support is a form of abandonment. Discipline, if it is
excessive and harsh, can become controlling and abusive while a lack of discipline
is a type of neglect. Meanwhile, independence and freedom without responsibility
can place youth in highly dangerous situations. To complicate things further, the
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correct balance constantly changes as youth continue to mature throughout their
adolescent period.
When parents strike the right balance of love with discipline, liberties with
limitations, and independence with responsibility, adolescents feel secure, valued,
and loved. This is because adolescents feel secure when they know what is expected
of them and have a clear understanding of the rules, boundaries, and limitations; and
the consequences for crossing the line. They feel also feel secure knowing they can
make mistakes without losing the love and care of their parents. They feel valued
when parents set high, but achievable standards for them. Furthermore, adolescence
feel loved and valued when their parents express confidence in their abilities to make
wise decisions and healthy choices, without allowing them to stray too far from the
correct path. The importance of achieving this critical balance between nurture and
autonomy cannot be emphasized enough: It will ultimately lead to satisfying and
successful experiences in school, work, and relationships. In this section we discuss
how parents can achieve this important but delicate balance.
Loving parents would prefer their children never have to endure painful or
distressing circumstances; but, the reality is that such experiences are certain and
inevitable. Therefore, the next best thing that parents can do for their children is to
help them to become resilient. Resilience refers to the ability to "bounce back" or to
readily recover from painful, stressful, and difficult experiences. Resilient people
possess a repertoire of positive coping responses that enable them to recover (or
"bounce back") from challenging or difficult situations, while they simultaneously
learn and grow from these experiences. It is these coping responses that enable them
to rise above negative experiences so that they are able to overcome adversity and
move on with their lives. Thus, resilience is a personal attribute that ensures a
reasonable degree of success and life satisfaction.
19.As a future parent, how would you rear your child?
First, let youth practice making small decisions independently and let them
experience the consequences of these decisions even when these consequences
are unpleasant. Experience is often the best teacher. Second, when youth make
poor decisions encourage them to think through how they might do things
differently next time, or how the problem could have been prevented. For
instance, suppose Raymond says to his parents, "I'm not a baby any more, you
don't have to keep telling me, 'It's time to get up!' every morning. I can get up
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without your help." While Raymond's parents may have some serious doubts
about Raymond's ability to get up by himself without being late for school, they
may decide it is best to let Raymond make this decision. Later, when Raymond
has been late to school too often, and gets kicked out of the marching band as a
result, his parents should not rescue him from this consequence. However, his
parents can guide and encourage him to develop some solutions to prevent a
similar problem from reoccurring in the future. This balance between love and
discipline is precarious because each teen is different. Some teens learn best from
natural consequences while others can learn from talking things out. Some teens
are highly sensitive to their parents' disapproval while others are not. Teens also
vary in the rate and speed that they develop self-discipline and good decisionmaking skills so their needs for discipline, guidance, love and support will vary
throughout their teenage years. In the next section we provide some guidelines
for parents to help them figure out how to provide direction and boundaries to
their adolescents of all ages without interfering too much, or too little.
20.How would you describe your real/authentic self?
“I’m not myself,” “I don’t know why I do that!” “I didn’t mean it!” “I don’t
know why I’m crying!” These are all statements made when we become slightly
aware that we are out of touch with the authentic Self. Self with a capital “S.” It
has a capital “S” because it isn’t the same as the identity, which we often refer to
as self. The identity is a mask and costume that we have worn since we
introjected the thinking, feeling and behaviors projected onto us by parents,
caregivers, family, religion and society. That identity can act, it can think, it can
even feel. It can do that because we have moved the sense of self into a mask
and costume that we have worn so hard and for so long that we think it is who
we are. But it isn’t who we are—it is who they needed us to be. It is who we
became in order to belong to them. And we think that it is our survival.
But all along, while we are living in that identity, the authentic Self is coming
forth through the small cracks in the identity. Perhaps we feel this as a deep
longing for something, or perhaps we surprise ourselves with something we say
or do, or perhaps we just slowly begin to look deeper and find new aspects that
have previously been undiscovered. When it surprises us, we often very quickly
stuff it back into the unconscious. We do that because it rocks our boat. We do
that because it has said or done something that makes us temporarily aware that
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we are not happy with our lives, with our relationships, our careers, or our own
We come here as a Self. But we are born, most of us, into families who need
us to be something. They need us to be something, something very commonly
other than who we actually are. They may be projecting their own unresolved
stuff onto us, so that, for example, we might be “asked,” through this projection,
to play bad guy to their good guy role. That would be because they feel such
shame attached to being “bad” that they need to believe that they are never bad.
So, someone else has to live that out for them. That’s just one example of many.
But all the while we are playing the identity, after we have introjected and
identified with that projection, we are not living out the authentic Self.
21.What shall be 5 years from now?
Five years from now, I am a successful psychologist, academe people, and an
old Vanessa who loves to be of help.
There are many values that I personally hold close to my heart. Many of
which are often hidden from plain sight, while others are blatantly obvious. The ten
values listed above are the values that, at this moment in my life, are the most
important to me. Being twenty-two and realizing that I’m still developing and
growing as both a person and a professional, this exercise was exceedingly difficult
for me. Included in this list are values that I wouldn’t have considered to be my
own a mere twelve months ago. On the same accord, there are some included in
this list that I can’t say for certain will be included in the same list twelve months
from this moment. Life is a dynamic process; the following is me trying my best to
make sense of life in its current state.
My behavior is impacted everyday based on these values. Many were
instilled in me early by my parents and grandmother, while I learned others during
my many years on the soccer fields. My most resounding value and the value that
tops my list is loyalty. It is something to be earned and should never be given or
received without sound reasoning. It determines my actions in almost every aspect
of life and often times opens doors to novel opportunities. Loyalty goes hand and
hand with the eighth value on my list, trustworthiness. Without earning the trust of
other people, this world would be a very lonely place. Composure and realism are
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the second and third values on my list. Although they might not appear to be
related, I see them as intricately intertwined. Being realistic means expecting any
number of possible outcomes. If things don’t go the way I planned, I realize that I
must press forward and the only way to do show is to demonstrate composure and
resolve. In all of history, panic has never solved an issue alone. Being realistic has
taught me to accept the inevitable and has helped me to avoid many failures.
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