Essay Daniel Goleman’s: Emotional Intelligence Sanam Jassal Trent University Our society and each individual who resides on this earth each possess a certain skill set whether they realize it or not; subconsciously or consciously, which revolves around emotional intelligence. In other words, emotional intelligence is defined as one’s ability to identify, comprehend, and control one’s self-emotions whilst also being able to recognize and analyze the feelings of others around them. Daniel Goleman, the author of Emotional Intelligence: Why it can Matter more than IQ displays and depicts his five key aspects of emotional intelligence which include Self-Awareness, Self- Regulation, Motivation, Empathy, Social skill, I believe Self-awareness includes how well you are aware of your own actions and emotions and are able to come to ultimatums with one’s self in order to thrive to one’s full potential. Self-regulation means to have control over your actions both psychologically and behaviorally, to act the way one should act morally. Additionally, to me motivation is an emotional skill required by setting goals and being able to succeed in one’s highest potential which will lead to happiness. Empathy is how well one can feel and realize how someone around them might be feeling, putting yourself in another person’s perspective to understand the situation. Lastly, social skills are how one acts in a collective/group manner which is an important skill to master and takes time to learn. Daniel Goleman, a graduate from Harvard University, which is known globally as one of the prestigious universities: is the founder of the five components of emotional intelligence. During his time at Amherst College, Goleman wrote his final honours paper on mental health in historical, anthropological and social perspectives making it clear he always was fond of societal and human actions. From there he pursued his journey at Harvard University in which he studied clinical psychology. He was always affectionate of the human brain and how it functions which gave him the reasons to write his first book about how to keep the mind at peace through meditation which was titled: The Meditative Mind. Additionally, Goleman believed IQ was not the only way to assess how intelligent a person was which is why he came up with his theory and book Emotional Intelligence. His book was on the New York Times’ bestseller list for a little over a year with more than 5 Million copies that got printed which was global in 40 languages. Self-awareness Example 1: After many times of making the same mistake over and over again I am very aware that my mother and grandmother widely dislike when I come home later then 1:00 am. I have been shouted at and punished each time I make this mistake and I am now conscious of the consequences that come with not abiding by their house rules. If I come home past 1 am I won’t be able to take the car if I need to go someplace, and if I need money I wouldn’t receive any as they believe in values for my actions. I am definitely more self-aware about the house rules and the time, setting a set plan for my night and leaving from wherever I am at a corresponding time to make it home before my parents can get furious. Example 2: My worst fear out of anything in the world is heights. I am so aware I am scared of heights that when I get forced to go to Canadas Wonderland with my family I don’t go on the roller coasters that are outrageously high like Behemoth or Leviathan. However, I attempt to attend the smaller rides which I am able to go through without facing my fear. Additionally, I am very self-aware of what I am afraid of and will do anything not to face my fears. Self-regulation Example 1: Self-regulation: I used to work as a sales associate at Shoe Club, where I was the head sales associate and my daily responsibilities including approaching customers and dealing with any customers concerns, questions and anything else they needed help with. At least one time per shift an angry customer walks into the store with a problem their shoe has after they bought it and used it for 2-3 months. My primary goal in dealing with angry customers was to stay calm, cool, and collective because most of these issues’ customers were bringing up were out of my control. If a customer came 2 weeks after his purchase and had the receipt, I would be able to exchange it without an issue. But some customers would come month after and it is clear that due to heavy wear and tears the shoe broke. There were many times I wanted to just snap and explode with comments of stupidity but that would make me look bad which is why I needed to be calm. Acting calm and unfazed took me a long way as I later got promoted to assistant manager, and began opening and closing the store, and taking on more responsibilities. Example 2: My daily routine for 3 years straight involved me smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. I loved smoking cigarettes and didn’t realize what the negatives of smoking was doing to my body. I thought in my head I would never quit. I randomly woke up one morning and thought to myself, I’m always waking up with mucus in my lungs that I have to spit out, my lips were turning purple and no one around me admired the smell. I knew I had to cut down no matter how hard and how long it takes. I stopped cold turkey at first, which means I stopped smoking cigarettes. This method did not work as much as I would have liked it to, and went back to smoking, but this time it was only 2 – 3 a day. My body was feeling weird and different as it was so used to smoking a pack a day. From there I smoked 1 occasionally and from thereafter I stopped completely and switched to vaping. After vaping, for the prime reason just to blow out some type of smoke I stopped that too. I realized if I wanted to stop something and have the utmost desire anything is possible if you just believe. Motivation. Example 1: One key example where I had an issue being motivated and thriving to reach my highest potential is when I worked at Polo Ralph Lauren. I got hired as a seasonal associate and knew I was not going to be able to work there when my contract was over as It correlated with my school schedule. Knowing this, I did not become motivated to work as hard as I should have, and this made my energy level pathetic. I did not have the desire to push myself and others around me to meet simple sales goals and ended up working with little to no enthusiasm. Example 2: I had very little motivation to go to school after high school. I took 2 years off after I graduated high school, so I could work as I was living in a household with only my mother whom needed help to cover expenses for us. After working hard, I felt I had no purpose to go to school which is the reason I did not give it much thought. After finishing my second year of work I realised this is not where I want to be financially and emotionally. I came up with a plan and a goal as to what I wanted to become and what program options I could take post-secondary. After carefully determining what my prime options where I decided to take Business Administration at Trent University where I am specializing in accounting. Through motivation from my mother and myself I planned out my 4 years, choosing each course for each semester and always knowing what my final goal is when I graduate. My purpose is to provide for my mother and the best way to do so is something that I love and where I can support her earning a good living. I am committed to completing my school here at Trent and can’t wait to put my hands out there on the outside world at work. Empathy Example 1: Many times, in high school I have seen many people being bullied for reasons beyond their control or simply for no reason. In middle school I have been a victim of bullying which is why when I see it I can’t stand there silently. I know how it feels being picked on and knowing there is nothing that can be done. The group of people I used to call my friends would love making fun of people and bullying them which I felt was unfair and unmoral. Often, I was the person out of everyone to stand up for the victim and talk my friend out of the nonsense situation. I told my buddy you can’t treat people like that and one day karma will come back and hit you. You should treat other people exactly the way you would like to be treated otherwise if you ever are treated bad, it’s because that’s how you deserve to be treated. This surprisingly worked as he was one of the biggest bullies but stopped doing it in front of me. Example 2: When I was about 12 years old I can still remember the day my best friend’s father passed away. I did not know how to cope with what was happening as I had never been in a situation like that. I was young and did not know how to show support to my friend. I was not there for him as I should have been, I could not put myself in his shoes and try to understand how he was feeling. For some reason I just simply did not care because I was at such a young age. If I could turn back time I would be there for him each and every day I could, being the best friend, I should have been. Showing empathy to him would have extended our friendship and we would still be friends today. Social skills Example 1: In high school, my tendencies of being socially active was very low during school work. Throughout group projects I was always the shy person who rarely spoke which made it seem like I didn’t want to be a part of the group. By having bad social tendencies as I was never good at school work, I was unable to get my ideas through to my group members. I personally did not like doing work at school which made me alienate myself from the classroom. Also, whenever we had to present in front of the class I would get very nervous and was unable to illiterate words correctly, and sometimes gave up on trying to become a better speaker. This is a skill I worked on since high school and believe at this point in my life I improved by practicing intensely and speaking to large groups of guests. Example 2: On the other hand, outside of the classroom I was one of the most sociable individuals in high school, being friends with everyone in each grade. I knew mostly everyone and always spoke to them before/after classes, at lunch time and even between classes. I would walk around greeting people and telling them stories which made everyone laugh, some would say I would even make there day. I Guess you can say I was like the class clown in a way, always the one laughing and talking to my friends constantly. I enjoyed being humorous and meeting new people, both men and women. In essence, researching about emotional intelligence and reading the book taught me much more than I thought I knew about the psychological and physical factors revolving around emotional intelligence. I’ve always heard of his five emotional intelligence theories but did not know the depth it has on ourselves and others around us. His theory showed me how humans interact with one another, how they interpret and interact with there selves and also how they can understand and feel other emotions. I have always been a fan of reading psychology books and learning about the brain and its functions, but Daniel Goleman’s book also taught me the details of self-awareness and self-discipline which showed me I should always be aware of myself and my self-worth and also disciplining myself when needed in certain scenarios.