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Estonian
Society
Estonian people are strongly influenced by everything described above. Some things
have influenced them more than others, but they have all left their mark on society and
the way it functions today.
Estonians value their privacy – please bear this in mind.
Family structure and gender roles
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Below is a description of a traditional Estonian family.
• The family is nuclear, i.e. it consists of a married or cohabiting couple and their
child or children, or a single parent with one or more children.
• The average Estonian family has one to three children.
• Everyone chooses the partner they love and want to live with (as a married couple
or as cohabiting partners).
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Same-sex partners can live together in Estonia, but they cannot legally marry.
Couples without children often also live together without getting married.
Elderly relatives usually live separately, either on their own or in nursing homes.
Children generally move out of home to go to university or start living independently
between the ages of 16 and 22.
Men and women make decisions that concern the family and household together.
Home and housework are a shared responsibility.
Children (both boys and girls) also do housework.
The jobs of men and women are equal – the division of professions on the basis of
gender is constantly decreasing in society.
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Equality is supported in Estonian families and everyone is expected to contribute.
The members of an Estonian family may be more independent than in some other
cultures.
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Eating habits
People usually eat breakfast before going to work or school.
Breakfast usually consists of a sandwich, porridge or muesli, and tea or coffee.
Lunch is normally eaten between noon and 3.00 pm.
Dinner is normally eaten between 6.00 pm and 8.00 pm.
Black bread, potatoes and dairy products are traditionally important to Estonians.
Pork and chicken are the preferred meats, but beef is also eaten.
• In summer, people eat fresh berries, fruits and vegetables, which can be bought in
shops all year round (mainly frozen).
• It is possible to find Italian, Chinese, Indian, Mexican and other cuisines, and some
shops also sell more exotic foods.
• Finding halal meat may be difficult.
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Time
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Time is very important to Estonians. In general:
• Estonians are punctual and disapprove of being
late;
• if you have agreed to attend a job interview,
made an appointment with a doctor or need to
attend a meeting with people you do not know
very well, make sure you arrive on time or even
early; and
• if you cannot avoid being late and you know you
will be in advance, make sure you call and let the
other person or people know.
Time is very important to Estonians – being late
is considered impolite.
Communication and conduct
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Like all other cultures, Estonians have habits and traditions that concern everyday
communication and conduct.
Greetings and distance
• People usually greet each other with a wave of the hand, i.e. without physical
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contact.
A handshake is used in more formal settings (regardless of whether the other
person is a man or a woman).
Physical contact (e.g. a hug) is common among young people and in informal
communication.
Kissing on the cheek is not very common in Estonia.
Estonians like to keep some space around them, and invading this space may be
seen as aggressive – it makes people feel uncomfortable, and they may take a step
back to maintain their personal space.
Eye contact
• Estonians consider eye contact very important in communication, as it shows that
you are interested in the other person and that they have your attention.
• If you avoid eye contact, people may think you have something to hide or that you
are bored or not interested in the conversation.
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• Always make eye contact, but ensure it is not too intense, or it may be interpreted
as overbearing.
Emotions and smiling
• Estonians may seem very reserved at first.
• Estonians do not smile much in official communication.
• Estonians may be rather more emotional and smile more often once you have
broken the ice and befriended them.
• Although Estonians may seem cold at first, this does not mean that they dislike
you. They simply need time to get to know you.
Communicating with Estonians and understanding them is considerably easier if you
know and consider the manner in which they communicate and behave.
Conversation habits
• It is important to be specific in conversations. Taking a long time to get to the point
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is considered a waste of time.
Estonians do not generally talk with their hands.
People are rather informal when they communicate with their colleagues, calling
them by their first name irrespective of their age or position.
When addressing an official or service staff, it is advisable to use the formal teie,
which is also appropriate and polite when speaking to older people or meeting
someone for the first time.
However, using the less formal sina is not disrespectful.
Refusal
• Estonians are usually direct and say what they think, which is why they are also
direct in refusal and say ‘no’ immediately if they feel they cannot do you a favour.
• ‘No’ usually means ‘no’, and there is little point trying to make people change their
mind – they see it as applying pressure, which may have negative consequences.
• This means that you too should be direct. It takes some getting used to, but is not
impossible.
Visiting
• Home is important to Estonians, which means that people do not often invite
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guests over.
• However, inviting people over and visiting others is more common among young
people.
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• Visiting someone without asking or telling them in advance is generally considered
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impolite.
Both men and women who are mutual friends may invite each other over.
It is generally assumed that you have made preparations when you invite someone
to visit.
Guests do not generally help themselves to food or drinks until the host offers.
It is polite to bring something for the host when you visit them.
If someone has invited you over and you want to bring a friend, make sure you ask
beforehand whether this is OK.
Gifts
• Estonians celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, marriage, graduation and often also
when people move into a new home.
• If you have been invited to a party, take a gift for the host (unless it says on the
invitation that you do not need to bring one).
• The gift should be something small – flowers, chocolates, wine etc.
• You should not give gifts to officials or other service providers (e.g. doctors)
as expressions of gratitude – this could be deemed bribery and be subject to
punishment.
Taking responsibility
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Taking responsibility for your actions is important in Estonian society.
• You make your own decisions, so you are responsible for the consequences.
• Parents are responsible for the actions of their children until they turn 18 – but
after this they must take responsibility for their own actions.
• Society expects you to be independent and show initiative.
• Expecting too much and being dependent on the state and other service providers
is not a long-term solution, but restricts your independence and your ability to
cope.
• Being a good member of society means that you abide by the law, follow standards
of conducts, earn your own money, pay taxes and contribute to society in other
ways.
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