Voice Over:
Welcome to “The Solid Verbal.”
Welcome to the most prestigious awards show in all of college football
podcasting. It’s the 5th Annual Verbies. The stars are already arriving. Well, well, if
it isn’t Tommy Rees. Word is he’s throwing the after-party. Let’s just hope it’s
not intercepted. Hey oh, it’s Mack Brown. You tell him who’s number one, Coach
… even if it is with your middle finger. Oh my, who invited Jen Bielema? Oh, is
she with Barry Alvarez? Hash tag: awkward. Now walking the carpet is Will
Muschamp. Congrats, Coach! This is most yards you’ve gained all year. Now it’s
Charlie Strong. Hey Charlie, a quick interview, uh-oh. Oh, okay maybe another
time. We know one guy that’s willing to interview. Our pal Jim Mora Jr. is here.
Ooh, looking sharp, Coach Petrino. Good call in hiring a chauffeur. You just never
know.
Why, it’s Lane Kiffin. Hold on to your valet tickets, folks. It will make his
job easier after the show. Look up there. It’s Joe Southwick on the observation
deck. Hey there Joe, oh wait, what’s he doing? Hey, can somebody get
Southwick off the balcony? And now, here are your hosts Ty Hildenbrandt and
Dan Rubenstein.
Ty:
Welcome boys and girls to the 5th Annual Verbie awards. My name is Ty
Hildenbrandt. I am joined by my friend, my colleague of many years. His name is
Dan Rubenstein in blustery New York City. Hello, Dan.
Dan:
Ty, how are you doing?
Ty:
Exciting night. It’s a regal night in the history of the podcast.
Dan: It really is. The stars are out. People are excited and everybody is wearing
makeup. Everybody is in their tuxes and their ball gowns. The who’s who, the
glitterati are here and ready to soak in the energy.
Ty:
We also have a special video clip that our friend Lex Steele put together.
Dan:
In 3D.
Ty:
What a way to kick off our season. I was just thinking about this on the
plane ride back.
Dan:
Yeah.
Ty:
What a way to kick off our 6th full season of doing the podcast with Lex
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Steele coming on to give us his college football pick.
Dan: We’ve done so many shows this season. Clearly a fitting way to start an
orgy of college football contests, if you will.
Ty:
There it is. I like what you did there.
Dan: Really banging out that first episode. I felt like it was a strong push. We
were at real inside football with that first episode.
Ty:
After that ep, we were just thrusting into the season, right?
Dan:
Thrust into the season.
Ty:
Yeah.
Dan:
Really, really coming hard.
Ty:
You went there. I wasn’t going to go there but you did it.
Dan:
Into that football mindset in in August.
Ty:
Welcome to the Verbies. Here’s the way this thing works. A couple of
years ago, Dan and I, clearly at that point with nothing better to do with our time
because we were podcasting of course.
Dan:
Right.
Ty:
We also decided it would be a good idea to invent our own awards show,
at the time the Herbie Awards. The Herbies, from Kirk Herbstreit on ESPN. They
were sort of coming into their own, it became a pre-season thing, and you very
astutely pointed out that “Hey, we could have the Verbie Awards.” We tried it
and it has continued to evolve over the years. Over the last couple of years now
it’s turned into a full-on interaction between us and our fan base. People
nominate not only who should be up for some of these awards but also the
awards themselves. Then we hold a vote, which we had for a couple of weeks at
the end of 2013, and now I have the results before us here today. I didn’t even
count how many awards we have, like maybe 10 or 11 awards here.
Dan: It’s a prestigious evening. We are spending all sorts of different avenues
of college football with – I would say the most influential post-season award
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coverage in college football?
Ty:
Yeah of course, I would say so. Yeah, absolutely.
Dan:
It is prolific year of awards on the Verbies. Who are you wearing tonight?
Ty:
I am currently wearing, let me look at this. I’m wearing a sweater.
Dan:
What color? This is the theater of the mind, paint a picture.
Ty:
It is a burnt orange sweater actually.
Dan:
Oh, wow.
Ty:
It says express the horns.
Dan:
Well then it is Express. Okay, Ty is wearing Express.
Ty:
What are you wearing?
Dan: I’m wearing a hoodie right now. It’s an olive green hoodie from Uniqlo, a
store in New York. I’m wearing some blue jeans.
Ty:
Dan:
We dressed up for the occasion.
We did indeed.
Ty:
I have khakis on. I came here right from work.
Dan: That’s a bit of a bummer. I’m still at work. But I feel … You’re not wearing
basketball shorts and a cutoff shirt. You’re taking it seriously.
Ty:
Yeah. No I am. I respect the Verbies and the reverence that comes with it.
Anyway, with all that said. A perfect segue into “Awkward Broadcasting Moment
of the Year.” Your four nominees, numero uno, Bill Murray tackling Lee Corso on
College Game Day. Remember that, Dan?
Dan:
That was fantastic. I wouldn’t say it – it was like a suplex.
Ty:
It was a suplex.
Dan:
It’s backbreaker. It was amazing. It felt a little bit forced. I don’t know how
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that was all set up. If it was just impromptu it was terrific and what’s Lee Corso
going to do, not play along?
Ty:
Yeah.
Dan:
It was a terrific moment.
Ty:
I felt like Bill Murray had planned it in advance but Lee Corso didn’t. Lee
Corso was not expecting that.
Dan:
It was a fantastic moment.
Ty:
Numero dos, Kirk Herbstreit drawing blood from Lee Corso. Lee Corso
got roughed up this year on Game Day.
Dan: He did. It was a rough year but he’s a trooper. At his advanced age, to be
attacked, to be bloody. A couple of years ago you had swearing. I feel like he
really is hitting his stride.
Ty:
Tres, is that three in Spanish?
Dan:
Yes, tres.
Ty:
David Pollack’s comments on Condi Rice. Here was the controversy as we
saw it. David Pollack around the time of the announcement that Condi Rice,
former secretary of state under George W. Bush, that she was going to be on
that play-off committee, David Pollack came out and made some comments
that, well, they weren’t very veiled. He just made it known that he didn’t think a
woman should be on that committee.
Dan:
Why would you have a woman on this committee?
Ty:
Right.
Dan:
Why would you? It should be all former players. It should be all football …
Ty:
Then [Pad Guy 00:06:59] made some asinine comment, you know, good
times. Then number four, Eminem’s interview on Saturday Night Football. It was
during the Notre Dame – Michigan game. They had Eminem up in the booth to
talk about this new album at halftime. He was up there with Brent Musburger,
Kirk Herbstreit. It was awkward because Eminem did the weird staring thing that
he did from his Berserk video or so he claimed. Brent Musburger asked him
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about point spreads, which is a little weird but pretty much right on par. If I’m
voting and I did vote, this was the one that I voted for.
Dan:
I’m uncomfortable just listening to you describe that moment.
Ty:
Yeah, oh yeah.
Dan: I’m uncomfortable even though Eminem tried to play off as if he was
being weird on purpose. It was very odd and then of course throughout the
whole season it was forced to have the Berserk video played with college
football. It was just uncomfortable all around.
Ty:
You could make a point that maybe he was doing the thing from the
music video or also maybe he was hopped up on eight different kinds of drugs.
Dan: I’m not going to comment on that specifically, but sure, that sounds
reasonable.
Ty;
Again, Eminem and his interview, David Pollack and his comments, Bill
Murray’s tackling of Lee Corso, Kirk Herbstreit and the sword fight against Lee
Corso. Ladies and gentlemen, dim the lights.
Dan:
Oh, here it is.
Ty:
The award for “Awkward Broadcasting Moment of the Year” goes to …
Eminem. His interview on Saturday Night Football, a Verbie well earned.
Dan:
It was pretty easily earned with the voting as it turned out.
Ty:
Yeah.
Dan:
It was more than tripled the second place – the runner-up here.
Ty:
There was only one other category in which it was this lopsided and we
will get to that later on in the show. Let’s move on very quickly now to “Worst
Year Back.”
Voice over:
“Worst year back.”
Ty:
This is an award we started, I want to say one or two years ago. It was
again, one of our nominations from the Verballers who came to solidverbal.com
and picked their categories. “Worst Year Back” goes to the guy who basically did
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the most to lower his stock moving forward. It doesn’t necessarily need to be a
guy entering the NFL draft. It could be a guy coming back next season. It could
also be a team or an entity or maybe even a coach. We try not to put too much
restriction around these awards because quite frankly we are all making it up as
we go along.
Dan:
Absolutely.
Ty:
Your four nominations for “Worst Year Back.”
Dan:
This was hotly contested.
Ty:
It really was. Number one, Devin Gardner quarterback at Michigan, Dan.
Dan: Fair enough, especially with the way that the season started with the
U-Conn and Akron games. Lot of expectations with him fully taking over, finishing
2012 pretty strong. Devin Gardner has to be there.
Ty:
Number two, Tommy Rees from Notre Dame.
Dan:
An unexpected candidate thrust into the spotlight in a starting role.
Ty:
I was not a Tommy Rees fan. You know this.
Dan:
Right.
Ty:
Tommy Rees, to his credit, did throw for over 3200 yards and had 27
touchdowns this year. He’s not winning the Heisman and he’s not making an NFL
team next year, but that’s not the worst possible season out there.
Dan:
No.
Ty:
You could do a lot worse and again to his credit it’s the best season he’s
had at Notre Dame since coming there and playing a little bit back in 2010. This
wasn’t the worst year back for Tommy Rees. This was actually his best year back.
Dan:
If I may interject, Pinstripe Bowl Champion.
Ty:
Oh, excuse me.
Dan:
Quarterback Tommy Rees.
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Ty:
Is that what the PR people now are sending out for Rees, Pinstripe Bowl
Champion. Let’s move on. Another quarterback candidate, this would have been
my vote by the way, without a doubt. Logan Thomas, quarterback, Virginia Tech,
we made the joke on our live show last fall about how Mel Kiper headed into the
2012 season, had initially, very preliminarily placed Logan Thomas atop his big
board headed into that season.
Dan:
Yeah.
Ty:
It fell apart a bit for Logan Thomas last year.
Dan:
Still number one on mine.
Ty:
Didn’t come apart quite to the degree it did last year, at least not in
terms of quarterback rating in 2013, but Logan Thomas had another really
underwhelming season at Virginia Tech. Didn’t have a lot of help but clearly was
not living up to that billing. He would have been my vote here. I probably would
have gone with Logan Thomas.
Dan: There are a number of people for all sorts of a variety of reasons, injuries,
losses along offensive and defensive lines. Yeah, it’s tough to argue.
Ty:
Then finally, Jadeveon Clowney.
Dan: It was disappointing, considering the off-season of conversation that we
were certainly a part of with Clowney. There were a number of facts. He was
being double- and triple-teamed every single offensive line’s attention, offense’s
attention the way they were running the plays. It was all centered around
Jadeveon Clowney. It is just like if a cornerback doesn’t put up huge passes
defended or interception numbers, they could be thrown away from. Doesn’t
make them any worse but the raw numbers and excitement of crazy plays just
wasn’t there with Clowney certainly.
Ty:
Numbers were down in terms of total tackles when compared to last
season, only at 3 sacks compared to 13 from a year ago. As you mentioned, got
a lot more attention, was battling through some injuries. There were a whole
number of different things. There may have been some malaise there on the part
of Clowney, given the fact that he knew he was going to be guaranteed a top five
NFL draft pick in the 2014 draft. I guess we will never know. Those again are your
four nominations: Logan Thomas, Tommy Rees, Devin Gardner and Jadeveon
Clowney. Again, Daniel, let’s dim the lights.
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Dan:
Derek, dim those lights.
Ty:
Your winner, the Verbie for “Worst Year Back” goes to –
Dan:
May I read the envelope?
Ty:
Here’s the envelope, take the envelope. Please read it.
Dan:
Jadeveon Clowney.
Ty:
Jadeveon Clowney … Wow!
Dan:
Wow!
Ty:
Congratulations. This was a tight vote, I mean …we had more votes in
these Verbies season than ever before, only 13 votes between Jadeveon
Clowney and Devin Gardner.
Dan: Would you put somebody else in this forum … these were obviously the
final four nominees. Was there anybody that you had in mind that is not one of
these four names as “Worst Year Back”?
Ty:
My name was Logan Thomas.
Dan:
Of everybody in college football?
Ty:
When I put this category on the website, the one that I would have put
on here, and there are a few nominees on here by the way that I just went in and
added them, because I knew we talked a lot about them. Logan Thomas for me is
a guy I would have added had he not been suggested. I’m Notre Dame-centric,
like George Atkinson. He’s not a big enough name to be on this list, but George
Atkinson had a horrible season.
Dan: No, not at all. I would say Bret Bielema coming back in 2013 to coach
college football once again for a bad year.
Ty:
Or Jen Bielema?
Dan:
Jen Bielema, not the best year back as a college football wag.
Ty:
Sure.
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Dan: Logan … still led his team to a bowl game, he was fine. It’s not his fault
everybody hyped him up.
Ty:
“Worst Year Back,” Jadeveon Clowney, congratulations.
Dan:
Jadeveon Clowney, all right.
Ty:
Let’s move on. Here’s a fun one: “Crime of the Year” … Sorry, your
nominees for “Crime of the Year,” the officiating in the Wisconsin-Arizona State
game.
Dan:
Okay, that was certainly criminal.
Ty:
Not criminal in the way that the others on this list are criminal.
Dan:
Right.
Ty:
But in a college football context, Dan. This is pretty damn criminal, I think.
Dan:
It felt like a crime was committed on the field in Tempe.
Ty:
For those who are wondering what happened in Tempe? Basically with
about 18 seconds left, Joel Stave, quarterback at Wisconsin, had Wisconsin, he
had marched them down the field. They had them in field goal range. He tried to
center the ball by snapping it, running to the center of the field and taking a knee.
It turns out that the knee – did we ever get clarity if the knee actually hit the
ground?
Dan: The refs certainly didn’t find clarity in the knee hitting the ground. It
appeared to. He did it very quickly. It wasn’t a very deliberate knee on the part of
Wisconsin and Stave. It could have been more deliberate and more forced. Yes,
of course.
Ty:
Whatever happened there, he sort of put the ball down. Arizona State
saw the same thing that the television audience saw. It didn’t look like the knee
was down but at the same time he gave himself up, so what’s the call? Arizona
State just took the ball and it confused the refs because the refs didn’t know
what to do. All the while, the clock is moving by the time the referees finally get
the chance to reset the football, time had expired. Arizona State came away with
game that at that time, we joked had fallen off the back of the truck.
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Dan:
Yes.
Ty:
It was a great game, Wisconsin should have probably won. They end up
losing. That is your nomination, the officiating in the Wisconsin and ASU game.
Dan:
Yes.
Ty:
Next, numero dos.
Dan:
We need to power through these. We got a lot.
Ty:
Antonio Morison from Florida, arrested for barking at a police dog, always
a bright move.
Dan:
We’ve been there.
Ty:
Who hasn’t?
Dan: We’ve been there, when we were at the national championship game in
Florida last year. That’s what people do. We were there, we lived it, we
understand, still hilarious.
Ty:
Number three, Joe Southwick from Boise State, sent home from the
Hawaii Bowl for allegedly, we don’t know if this is for certain or not. He took a lie
detector by the way that claimed he didn’t do it.
Dan:
And passed it.
Ty:
He passed it.
Dan:
The lie detector.
Ty:
Southwick was sent from the Hawaii Bowl for allegedly peeing off a
balcony.
Dan:
Yeah. Do we know what floor it was?
Ty:
No, we don’t know.
Dan:
Do you ever pee off a balcony, Ty?
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Ty:
I have not. I had someone pee off one of my balconies.
Dan:
Really?
Ty:
In college, off of a 7th floor balcony.
Dan:
Powerful stream?
Ty:
I did not watch, no.
Dan:
Okay.
Ty:
Nor was I underneath, thankfully.
Dan:
Okay.
Ty:
Finally Pharaoh Brown from Oregon, suspended for his role in a snowball
fight.
Dan: It happens. It was more than … it was a snow boulder that he was
aligning himself with – with the professor’s car.
Ty:
It happens.
Dan:
It happens.
Ty:
Dim the lights.
Dan:
Dim them.
Ty:
Your winner, “Crime of the Year,” the Verbie goes to, who gets the
Verbie?
Dan:
Officiating at Wisconsin-ASU.
Ty:
Wow! They it earned it, Dan. They really earned it.
Dan: I don’t believe it was Pac-12 officials because it was a non-conference
game but anytime you get on that West coast, you are taking matters into weird
hands officiating in college football.
Ty:
You are. Congratulations. At least Wisconsin gets something out of that
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game. Congratulations on the Verbie, guys. All right, “Alternate Uniform of the
Year” … People get all hot and bothered when you start talking alternate
uniforms, Dan.
Dan; Yeah, people really do. People are sexually attracted to uniform
conversation.
Voice over:
Ty:
“Alternate Uniform of the Year.”
Here are your nominations.
Dan: What was your number one Notre Dame alternate uniform of the past
couple of years?
Ty:
I like the Shamrock series uniform that they wore. I believe …
Dan: When was the Shamrock series? That was the two thirds, gold and blue
helmet?
Ty:
I didn’t like that one. The one that I liked was where they had the whites
with the double stripe in green around the upper arm.
Dan:
Sure.
Ty:
The gold helmet and the green shamrock.
Dan:
Okay.
Ty:
Two Oregon nominations on here, Dan.
Dan:
No, I mean.
Ty:
I think they split the vote. I think they killed themselves. If you add those
two together, maybe they have more of a shot in this category. Neither one
ended up winning.
Dan: One of them was definitely an alternate. The other one was just a
combination. It wasn’t a special uniform.
Ty:
True.
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Dan:
You didn’t ask what my favorite Oregon uniform of the year.
Ty:
What was your favorite Oregon uniform of the year, Dan?
Dan: I liked the all yellows. I also liked what they revealed, and this is probably
just a new uniform going forward, in the Alamo Bowl against Texas.
Ty:
Oh, yeah.
Dan: I liked that new look. I liked that fresh new look. Some of their new
shades, I liked that very much.
Ty:
They do a good job up there. The problem, in terms of Verbies voting,
though –
Dan:
Yeah.
Ty:
Two on the list! Oregon fans could not unite behind a common cause.
Dan:
All right, random order, Ty. Please give me the nominations.
Ty:
Hawaii’s rainbow uniforms.
Dan:
I enjoyed these.
Ty:
They were good.
Dan: They became just the Warriors instead of the Rainbow Warriors. I like the
throwback.
Ty:
Tennessee’s smokey greys.
Dan: I‘m sucker for grey. I have liked it in Oklahoma State going grey. Like
Washington State going grey. I like the grey look. I like the sort of matte grey.
It’s a cool alternate. It reminds me of baseball away uniforms so I’m for it.
Ty:
Finally, Baylor’s black and chrome uniforms.
Dan: Baylor has done a good job. Baylor and Oklahoma State have really sort of
taken on the mantle with Maryland as being the Oregon of a different territory.
Baylor’s chrome looked great. A lot better than I think Washington State.
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Ty:
Gun to your head, Dan, then we’ll announce the winner of this category.
Dan:
Yeah
Ty:
Gun to your head with Oregon being assumed as the number one in
terms of uniform power ranking. Give me two, three and four.
Dan:
Not of these nominations. It’s just in general in college football?
Ty:
In general. Yeah.
Dan:
Two, three and four. I’m a sucker for white … it sounds very racist.
Ty:
Yeah, that’s racist.
Dan: I like going all white and all blacks, like the storm trooper look. The classic
Texas when they are in all white. Not the orange, not burnt orange. The road
Texas uniforms I think are really sharp. I just like the minimalist with the Longhorn
… I don’t know. I’m a sucker for that. I like that a lot. I’m trying to think but I …
Ty:
I would throw Boise State in there. They have a pretty strong uniform.
Dan: You know whose uniforms I’ve liked a lot? It’s very similar to the Boise
State uniforms. Mizzou’s new overhaul.
Ty:
Yes. Good call.
Dan: Big fan of Mizzou and their overhaul. I mean the Texas one is classic and
the old-fashioned. I’m trying to think anybody else across … You know what I’ve
liked? They sort of fit together. I’m not sure if they’re Adidas or not, whatever it
is. A couple of the Indiana new helmet and combo looks.
Ty:
Their trying out there. Kenny Wilson is trying some stuff.
Dan:
I like the sort of Texas Tech experimentation. In Lubbock.
Ty:
Okay. I’m a fan. Alternate uniform.
Dan:
I like the masked rider helmet. I think it’s pretty sharp.
Ty:
Okay, cool. "Alternate Uniform of the Year" again … Baylor, Hawaii,
Tennessee and two Oregons. Your winner is … Drum roll, please. Your winner is
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Baylor’s black and chrome.
Dan:
Yeah.
Ty:
Congratulations, guys.
Dan:
Well deserved.
Ty:
Couldn’t win that Fiesta Bowl game. Baylor’s loses to Oklahoma State –
here’s something that you win congratulations, congratulations, alternate
uniform.
Dan:
play.
It really helps that the style of the uniform really fit in with the style of
Ty:
Yeah.
Dan: The flashiness, the glitz, the offense, the points, the fun of watching
those shiny helmets zooming around the Big 12. It’s a good match.
Ty:
Moving on, “Random Factoid That May Only Interest Tom Hammond” …
Dan:
Who I don’t believe is calling college football games anymore.
Voice over:
Year” …
“Random Factoid That May Only Interest Tom Hammond of the
Ty:
I came to a pivotal moment here.
Dan:
You miss him.
Ty:
A little bit.
Dan:
You hate-miss him.
Ty:
I hate-miss him. I hate that I can’t complain about him anymore. Tom
Hammond of course is the retired, now former commentator for Notre Dame
on NBC. He called games for a long time. For a long time, I thought Tom
Hammond went to Notre Dame, then I found out he went to Kentucky. For
whatever reason, that combined with his commentary just sort of enraged me.
For the first four years of the show, Tom Hammond was a huge point of
contention. This year Hammond goes away, they bring in Dan Hicks, all is well. We
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came to a pivotal moment. What do we do with this Verbie Award?
Dan:
You have to honor your guy.
Ty:
See, that was my thought. You have to try and keep Verbie lore in Verbie
lore. The random factoids that you will hear in about two seconds are still ones
that may only interest Tom Hammond. I can’t speak for anybody else.
Dan:
Right.
Ty:
Number one, Lane Kiffin, did you know, turned down Tajh Boyd and Bryce
Petty for scholarships?
Dan:
What?
Ty:
Again, random facts. Things that you hear on the commentary that are
like, “Huh, that’s interesting,” and then are beaten to death. Number two, Zach
Mettenberger and Aaron Murray. Did you know they were once roommates?
Dan:
What? Yes, I did.
Ty:
Number three, Jameis Winston wanted to go to Texas! It would have
been cool for Texas, good for them.
Dan:
I remember that.
Ty:
While we are on that note, number four, Mack Brown recruited Johnny
Manziel as a defensive back!
Dan:
Yes, he did.
Ty:
Defensive back, Dan, he won the Heisman!
Dan: What do you think was the most played-out broadcasting trope like this
over the past … since the Brady Quinn, AJ Hock because I felt like really –
Ty:
That was like the epitome.
Dan: Ushered in the modern era. We need to mention this every four and a half
minutes so since that happened - If it’s the Brady Quinn sister award. What was
her first name, and probably still is?
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Ty:
Laura Quinn.
Dan: Laura Quinn, so if this is the Laura Quinn Memorial Tom Hammond, she’s
probably still alive, award. Since then, between the 2013 season and then, is it
that Zach Maynard and Keenan Allen are brothers? What’s his name, was 6-7?
Ty:
Brock Osweiler being a six footie is a really tough nominee in this
category.
Dan:
You have Jordan Shipley and Colt McCoy. They’re roommates?
Ty:
Yeah.
Dan: That’s a big one. The roommate thing is pretty big. You have Tim Tebow
and who is it – Riley Cooper being roommates?
Ty:
Riley Cooper?
Dan: That one’s pretty big. Later on in this season and it didn’t make it in just
because we were doing Verbie stuff before. He really came into the forefront. Tre
Mason’s father being in De La Soul? That was a big hit later on.
Ty:
I forgot about that one.
Dan:
You did forget?
Ty:
That was a good one. Oh man, that was good. How about Katherine
Webb, that was overplayed and overplayed?
Dan: Katherine Webb, and it wasn’t as much at this season but the national
championship game last year was great.
Ty:
Again, “Random Factoids That May Only Interest Tom Hammond” …
Dan:
Just “May” …
Ty:
You’ve heard them a million times but Tom Hammond is the only one still
interested. Zach Mettenberger and Aaron Murray being once roommates, Mack
Brown recruiting Johnny Manziel as defensive back, Lane Kiffin turning down Tajh
Boyd and Bryce Petty, Jameis Winston wanting to go to Texas. Dim the lights.
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Dan:
Dim those lights.
Ty:
Your winner for “Random Factoid That May Only Interest Tom
Hammond”. Congratulations, Zach Mettenberger and Aaron Murray …
Congratulations, guys.
Dan:
Oh yeah.
Ty:
Did you know they were once roommates, Dan?
Dan:
I did know that. That is something I knew.
Ty:
They can share this award. They can share this award now.
Dan:
I remember and this is how old I am, Ty.
Ty:
Yeah.
Dan: I remember looking at – maybe it was before one of the shows we were
doing. I feel like we were doing the show back then, when Zach Mettenberger
and Aaron Murray were in the same class at Georgia.
Ty:
Oh yeah.
Dan: It was like Aaron – I don’t know if it was scout arrivals. I was looking at
the list. Maybe it was a quarterbacks list, oh Aaron Murray is the number four
quarterback and Zach Mettenberger is the number 7 quarterback. One of these
dudes is going to transfer. That is just what happens. Maybe you should have
looked at a school in which you were not competing and this could have been to
either one of them because they are both coming out of their college careers as
accomplished, desirable professionals. Just like wow. That’s going to be dumb.
Somebody’s going to waste some time.
Ty:
In hindsight, moving forward if we created like a Gunner Kiel Inevitable
Transfer Award. Zach Mettenberger could be on the all-time list. Obviously
Gunner Kiel did it. There are commitments you can see coming from a mile away
that they’re just not going to last.
Dan:
Absolutely.
Ty:
I’m putting that one in. I want to write it down right now. We are doing
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that next year.
Dan:
I saw that with Florida State, Jacob Coker is now going to Alabama.
Ty:
Alabama.
Dan: That was pretty obvious. I think that was sort of the worst-kept secret.
Zach Kline came in and it was immediately beat up by another four star
quarterback the following year. Zach Kline’s a transfer man walking.
Ty:
Someone could end up transferring from USC at quarterback.
Dan:
Absolutely.
Ty:
I would expect someone to, to be honest.
Dan:
If Cody Kessler has a good year this year, I expect he’s gone.
Ty:
He’s gone. You can see it coming from a mile away.
Dan:
Yeah.
Ty:
Congratulations in the interim, though, to Zach Mettenberger, Aaron
Murray once being roommates again. That’s your “Random Factoid That May
Only Interest Tom Hammond.” Moving on, one of our favorite categories, we do
it every year. Last year we sought the counsel of one Andy Staples to help us
sort through all the nominations that we received. It’s “Name of the Year,” Dan.
Voice Over:
Dan:
“Name of the Year.”
The NOTY if you will, the N-O-T-Y.
Ty:
That’s right. Here are your nominations, Chris Blewitt. I believe a kicker
from Pitt. Chris Blewitt, that’s spelled B-L-E-W-I-T-T, again, he is a kicker. On the
same kicker no, Jack Russell, another nominee in this category.
Dan:
The terrier.
Ty:
The terrier. He is a punter from Wisconsin, two special teamers in the
“Name of the Year” category.
Dan:
He is a great one. I remember watching a Wisconsin game when I was on
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the road this year with some non-football fans. They just sort of saw his name
come up. A bunch of friends of mine from work actually from the Verge. And it’s
one of those things where it takes like three seconds, like, “Wait, is his name, did
they just say?” It’s not one of the things that immediately strikes you.
Ty:
No.
Dan: These other names that we’ve discussed over the years where it’s just so
ridiculous, like Godspower Offor. Really wait, what? Jack Russell’s was one of
those slow burns. It was like, wait a minute I’ve heard that, like the wow, really? I
like that.
Ty:
Another one on the list, Win Homer, an offensive line man from Boston
College.
Dan:
Yeah.
Ty:
An interesting name. It finished last in this category. I will tell you that
much, but Win Homer could be an SEC name. I just want to leave with that.
Chongo Kondolo.
Dan:
I was surprised you have this on the list of nominees.
Ty:
I didn’t make it up.
Dan: I know. I’m surprised that you left it on here because I know you’re very
close with Chongo Hildenbrandt, a cousin of yours.
Ty:
Right, of course.
Dan:
You didn’t want to make a big deal.
Ty:
Didn’t want to make him feel self-conscious about it.
Dan:
Right. Chongo is like the new Taylor in terms of hot baby names.
Ty:
It happens. Ha Ha Clinton-Dix, it’s as funny as it sounds. It is actually
Ha’Sean Clinton-Dix. It’s just a nick name, but Ha’Sean Clinton-Dix in this
category. Munchie Legaux, an old friend from Cincinnati, and then Wave Ryder
from Navy.
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Dan:
With a Y. Ryder with a Y.
Ty:
Let me repeat, Wave Ryder with a Y playing at Navy.
Dan:
Maybe they fight on sea.
Ty:
Dim the lights, Dan.
Dan:
At sea. Lights are dimmed. I’m taking off my pants. Sorry.
Ty:
“Name of the Year” … The Verbie for “Name of the Year” goes to –
Daniel?
Dan:
Wave Ryder.
Ty:
Wave Ryder, yeah. Congratulations.
Dan:
So simple.
Ty:
Do you know this was the second straight year Munchie Legaux was
nominated and came in something other than first.
Dan: Honor just to be nominated, he’s had a terrific time with the shrimp
cocktail and the service at the awards show, great gift basket, thank you for
coming Munchie.
Ty:
Dan, tonight’s special Verbie show brought to you by our good friends at
Hulu Plus.
Dan:
I was on there this morning.
Ty:
You have probably tried Hulu.com before. Hulu Plus is so much more. You
can watch your favorite shows anytime, anywhere. You can watch thousands, not
hundreds, not teens.
Dan:
No.
Ty:
Thousands of hit TV shows and movies in the living room or on the go
with your smart phone or tablet. You can watch all your favorite shows. TV shows
like SNL, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Shark Tank which I was just watching last night,
great show, and of course a favorite of the Solid Verbal: Ms. Kerry Washington
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scandal.
Dan: I missed New Girl last night. Fired up the Hulu Plus on the PS3, boom,
right there this morning, drank my coffee and watched some New Girl, great app.
Ty:
You can do the same for shows like Lost, Law & Order SVU, Dr. Who and
Community. You can also check out exclusive behind the curtain content,
including Hulu originals like the Wrong Men’s and Behind the Mask, which is a
new docu series from Hulu that takes you inside the world of sports mascots.
You will get exclusive access to a collection of ad-free movies and kids content.
You can get all of that for only $7.99 a month. Catch up on all your current. Binge
on the old favorites. Catch a great movie, stream it all as often as you want,
whenever you want, to pretty much whatever device you want, Dan. Right now,
you can try it for free, on us, for two weeks. Go to HuluPlus.com/verbal.
Dan:
Do it.
Ty:
That’s a special offer just for our listeners. Make sure you use
HuluPlus.com/verbal so you get the extended free trial and so that they know we
sent you. One more time, HuluPlus.com/verbal, extended two week free trial.
Dan:
Easy call.
Ty:
I’m cracking my knuckles here.
Dan:
Oh.
Ty:
We got a big one coming up now. Rolling up the sleeves, “Not Coach of
the Year.”
Voice over:
Dan:
“Not Coach of the Year”
Hotly contested.
Ty:
Hotly contested, no doubt. “Not Coach of the Year,” given annually to the
worst coach of the year, pretty much.
Dan:
That’s accurate.
Ty:
You’re not coach of the year. Here are your nominees: Will Muschamp,
University of Florida.
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Dan: It’s really hard to beat Will Muschamp, because it’s really easy to beat Will
Muschamp.
Ty:
That in a nutshell is what this came down to. Florida went 4 and 8 this
past season, missed a bowl. Will Muschamp keeps his job. Many think this next
season will be make-or-break for Will Muschamp. The offense regressed. They
had a lot of injuries. If they can get healthy next year, we’ll see what happens
with Florida. They still …
Dan:
Top quarterback coming in.
Ty:
Sure, they have a ton of talent. Will Muschamp is going to have a chance
to right the ship, but he is rightfully on this “Not Coach of the Year. ballot.
Dan: I will say to all those haters that Will Muschamp was going to go 3 and 9
this season.
Ty:
Yeah.
Dan:
He showed you.
Ty:
Take that. Another on the list Mack Brown, “Not Coach of the Year” …
Dan:
I actually thought he did a pretty good job this year. All things considered.
Ty:
After the BYU game, when they fired Manny Diaz.
Dan:
They didn’t have a terrific show against Ole Miss either.
Ty:
They didn’t.
Dan: To sort of steady that ship to the point where they were in the Big 12
championship race till the last week of the season and they lost to a better
Baylor team on the road. I don’t fully agree with this nomination, but I get it
because of sort of a disaster of the season administratively from Mack Brown at
times.
Ty:
Administratively at times certainly towards the end.
Dan:
Yes, certainly towards the point where he was forced out of the job, yes.
Ty:
After the BYU game you’re right. There was reason that Mack Brown did
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not do very well in this bowl game. It’s because after the BYU game despite all
the jokes, despite all the numbers that we saw being put up in that game, he did
right the ship. They simplified the defense, they got rid of Manny Diaz, they put it
together and they definitely united. They had a chance at the Big 12.
Dan:
Yes.
Ty:
Mack Brown is on this list. I don’t know if he deserves or not.
Dan:
Next.
Ty:
A combination nominee of Brady Hoke and Al Borges.
Dan:
Borges, yeah.
Ty:
What do you think of that?
Dan:
Not a good season.
Ty:
No.
Dan: Especially for Al Borges and also for Brady Hoke. Offensive lines struggled
at times, not the hallmark of a Brady Hoke as long one had wanted to do and has
done at the college level, has been play physical ground football. Michigan unable
to do that for pretty much the entire year. It was a nice showing at least through
the air to finish out the season. Finish out the regular season against Ohio State
in a close loss but not ideal for Al Borges and taking this offense forward with a
somewhat experienced quarterback, somewhat experienced offensive line, skilled
talent on offense. Really underwhelming year if you were looking for Michigan to
take a step forward in the department of points and offensive fun.
Ty:
One of those two by the way is no longer with Michigan, Al Borges
seeking work elsewhere, Doug Nussmeier brought in from Alabama. One of the
bigger off-season moves. Staying in the Big Ten, another nominee, Mr. Bo Pelini,
a mainstay on this list I think. Congratulations.
Dan: Yeah. All he does is lose four games every year and win 8 or 9. That’s all he
does.
Ty:
Lane Kiffin on the list. Hello, Lane.
Dan:
I disagree with this, not that Lane Kiffin shouldn’t be on the list but that
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there should be other nominees other than Lane Kiffin, Will Muschamp. I
disagree with the fact that it took you like five names to get to Lane Kiffin.
Ty:
Just a gunfight at sundown between Lane Kiffin and Will Muschamp feels
about right, and then Bret Bielema.
Dan:
Hashtag Karma.
Ty:
A disastrous first year at Arkansas. Knew it would take a little while to
build things up in his image. Okay.
Dan:
Right.
Ty:
SEC.
Did not go according to plan at least through one season so far in the
Dan:
Through three games, I believe Arkansas was undefeated.
Ty:
Do you remember me in the early part of the year with Alex Collins? I had
a thing for Alex Collins in here.
Dan: Rightfully so, I mean they played not really anybody, but … I remember, I
don’t think you were the only one culpable. We were like, “Well, Arkansas, they
can run the ball!” Our voices got higher.
Ty:
Yeah, I do that all the time.
Dan:
You’re … figure something out.
Ty:
Yeah, no they couldn’t. Those are your nominees again “Not Coach of the
Year,” Lane Kiffin, Will Muschamp, Brady Hoke and Al Borges, Bo Pelini, Mack
Brown and Bret Bielema. Dim the lights.
Dan: Dim those lights. I don’t know why we are dimming lights, but we are
really making this dramatic. I like it.
Ty:
Your winner “Not Coach of the Year,” the Verbie goes to … Lane Kiffin,
come on.
Dan:
Lane.
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Ty:
Congratulations, Mr. Kiffin. Pulled him off the team bus to fire out.
Dan:
Unceremoniously, or in a weird way, ceremoniously.
Ty:
That’s like out of the Godfather, right there.
Dan:
Yeah.
Ty:
Off the bus, off the team thanks for playing. Lane Kiffin now. Lane is on
his feet mind you. The guys got 9 lives, fails up, now ends up being the offensive
coordinator at Alabama, so good for him. If you like Lane Kiffin, if you like
Alabama, you want him to do well.
Dan:
Sure.
Ty:
I guess, I don’t know. Let’s move on.
Dan:
Let’s do that.
Ty:
“Host Meme of the Year.”
Voice over:
“Host Meme of the Year.”
Dan:
I want to say something real quick.
Ty:
Yeah.
Dan: We just gave an award for “Not coach of the Year,” and it didn’t go too
Will Muschamp.
Ty:
A small victory for Will Muschamp.
Dan:
Credit Lane Kiffin there. Or don’t.
Ty:
It takes a special season to beat out Will Muschamp for “Not Coach of
the Year.”
Dan:
Georgia Southern, that’s all. Continue.
Ty:
“Host Meme of the Year”
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Dan:
This one’s a big one.
Ty:
Dan, what the hell is a meme?
Dan: I have no idea. A host meme is some sort of trending something that is
repeated on the internet for comedic or otherwise insatiable value that people
can’t get enough of, making fun of something with, or saying or writing, or it’s
just some sort of trending internet something.
Ty:
We do a bunch of little memes here, if that’s what a meme is.
Dan:
Yes we do. Did Mike Hall ever figure out … ?
Ty:
The secret verbal?
Dan:
The secret verbal from last week?
Ty:
I don’t think he did?
Dan:
I don’t feel like he did. Verballers, keep going with it.
Ty:
Keep going with it.
Dan: Ask Mike Hall about his time playing bass for Avril Lavigne on her
Complicated tour. Any stories, any reactions, any reunions, really keep on
hammering.
Ty:
The best part about this, by the way, because Verbies is arguably our
most Evergreens show. So much of what we do is time sensitive.
Dan:
Right.
Ty:
If you don’t listen within a week or two a lot of the content’s irrelevant.
People download this show heavily throughout the course of the year. I think we
can now count on the fact that Mike Hall will be getting tweets about Avril
Lavigne well into the next year.
Dan:
Oh, absolutely.
Ty:
Which is fine.
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Dan:
Yeah.
Ty:
“Host Meme of the Year” … It’s fitting that you mention that. The Secret
Verbal is one of the nominees. The secret verbal –
Dan:
Who is your number one secret verbal?
Ty:
The one we do with Tony Barnhart.
Dan:
I don’t think that can be topped.
Ty:
I don’t think that can ever be topped.
Dan: For me, it’s Barnhart and at number two, the only reason this is a close
number two for me is the Bruce Feldman secret verbal because we are friends
with Bruce, and he was so confused. That really kicked off our new wave of really
weird secret verbals.
Ty:
Ones that kind have a story around them. Adam Kramer with the
spelunking was fun for me.
Dan:
I did enjoy that as well.
TY:
Let’s keep going though with Mike Hall. Playing bass, Complicated tour,
Avril Lavigne, some of the tweets that we’ve seen come through have been
unbelievable.
Dan:
He’s so confused.
Ty;
He really is.
Dan:
He is so confused. He is responding kindly to people.
Ty:
He stopped responding because he’s gotten overwhelmed. Pull in other
big …pull in like Dave Revsine, they were pulling in other guys like, “He, has he
talked to you about this at all?” Let’s get them all confused. The secret verbal,
obviously a candidate for “Host Meme of the Year” … Secret Verbal again we
give people code words, funny stories, tell them to go out and tweet people.
You guys have been great about doing it. Number two. Interviewing Lex Steele to
lead off the Solid Verbal season, it was weird to be honest with you.
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Dan:
I had a terrific time. I was hanging at the 40.
Ty:
I was a bit uncomfortable with that Lex Steele interview, sometime I’ll …
Dan:
I know you were.
Ty:
I will tell the story how he got that interview in the first place. Jameis
Winston, the wonderful monster, I know what the word means.
Dan:
I want to spoil it right now. Ty drives the bang bus.
Ty:
There it is. There it is.
Dan:
Ty has deep, deep connections.
Ty:
Jameis Winston, the wonderful monster, now on the nomination. Bruce
Feldman’s body blow fury, another favorite of the show.
Dan:
I did like this.
Ty:
Dan creepily whispering Bortles.
Dan:
Bortles.
Ty:
Another nominee.
Dan:
Bortles. Bortles.
Ty:
The Altar of Dan had a great season.
Dan:
Altar of Dan?
Ty:
Yeah.
Dan: Called a few huge games, nobody believes that I was a mountain, that I
was a river, Altar of Dan. Thank you for worshipping. Thank you.
Ty:
Then finally the Patriot League Lightning.
Dan:
I had a hugely fun time with the Patriot League Lightning Round this year.
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Ty:
I saw that the Patriot League Twitter account started following us.
Dan:
Yes!
Ty:
We need to get them involved intimately next season.
Dan: Absolutely. I think we can pull some strings and make you the Patriot
League commissioner.
Ty:
The mascot? No.
Dan: No, I think we can make you commissioner. I think we can get you making
important decisions. How would like to make $28,000 a year?
Ty:
I shared a bag of Tostitos once with Bill Hancock. I know what it takes to
do this, right?
Dan:
Yeah. You’re a hobnobber, rubbing elbows, absolutely.
Ty:
Again, your nominees, Bortles, the Altar of Dan, Patriot League Lightning
Round, interviewing Lex Steele, The Secret Verbal, Jameis Winston: The
Wonderful Monster, and Bruce Feldman’s Body Fury. Dim the lights.
Dan:
Dim those lights!
Ty:
You winner for “Host Meme of the Year” … Mr. Rubenstein, tell the folks.
Dan:
It is me whispering Bortles, Bortles.
Ty:
Folks could not –
Dan:
It’s so sad that we don’t get to do it anymore.
Ty:
We can still do it.
Dan:
I mean we can still do it.
Ty:
This is going to be one of those deals and we’re going to get to Losing
Effort of the Year next.
Dan:
Yeah.
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Ty:
This is going to be one of those deals that carries with Blake Bortles as he
moves on to the NFL, without a doubt.
Dan: Absolutely. We will do a show before the NFL draft as just we see off all
of our friends from college football into the next level. I’m sure we can mention
Bortles in that regard. It’s going to be sad, not being able to do that every week,
especially with the Knights’ rise.
Ty:
A pretty convincing victory, too.
Dan:
Yeah, absolutely.
Ty:
For Blake Bortles, for your victory with Blake Bortles.
Dan:
I’m pretty happy with it.
Ty:
One more time.
Dan:
It did me well. People seem to like it. Bortles.
Ty:
There it is, all right. Moving on.
Dan:
Bortles.
Ty:
“Losing Effort of the Year.” “Losing Effort of the Year” started a couple of
years ago with Nick Foles. You might remember him at Arizona, had a plethora of
400-yard games. The problem was his team sucked and they couldn’t win.
Dan:
This one was a close one.
Ty:
We started talking about “Losing Efforts of the Year” … We gave it to
Nick Foles the first year, created an award in his honor. Here are your nominees
for “Losing Effort of This Past Year,” number one Wisconsin versus Arizona State
and crooked referees.
Dan:
Absolutely.
Ty:
This one already won, could be a multiple Verbie winner “Losing Effort of
the Year.” Wisconsin against both Arizona State and those crooked refs.
Dan:
I want to say that effort was particularly seen on the ground for
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Wisconsin on that day.
Ty:
Yeah of course. Aaron Murray versus everyone else in the SEC and –
Dan:
That was tough.
Ty:
Numerous injuries on his own team, Dan.
Dan:
Yeah. That’s sort of an Aaron Murray and Georgia health combined.
Ty:
If Aaron Murray doesn’t go down himself, I think the likelihood of him
winning this award goes up a little bit more because he didn’t lose by much.
Dan:
True, absolutely.
Ty:
Derek Carr versus San Jose State. Remember that game?
Dan:
19 touchdown passes that night.
Ty:
At least. Then you’ve got two from the Texas A&M – Bama game.
Dan:
Right.
Ty:
I wonder if there might be a splitting of the vote going on.
Dan: That was what I was thinking when I was looking at the nominees,
because they’re related.
Ty:
First and foremost you have Johnny Manziel for his efforts against the
Alabama Crimson Tide. A wild game, week three college football, 464 yards
through the air, five touchdowns, also 98 yards on the ground, combine the two,
well over 500 total yards. Manziel had two bad picks in that football game, but
damn near willed the team to victory because they didn’t do much on the ground
without him. They certainly needed his efforts through the air. He threw most of
those passes by the way to a gentleman by the name of Mike Evans. A huge
wide receiver who caught the ball 7 times for 279 yards and a touchdown. Had a
95-yard score which sort of made things really interesting late in the football
game again between Alabama and Texas A&M. Evans now going pro, this was a
game that certainly put him on the map at the time. I don’t know if we realize
that Alabama’s cornerbacks maybe not as good as we were accustomed to
seeing in previous years. Still anytime you can log 7 catches for 279 yards, that’s
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a pretty damn good effort.
Dan: That’s not bad. That is not bad. I’m wondering because it was such a close
vote here. Is the person that came in second place the real winner, because it’s
their effort in this category in the losing effort? I don’t k now. That is very
esoteric in insight. I don’t know. Let us see. What do we have here, Ty?
Ty:
Dim the lights.
Dan:
Dim those lights.
Ty:
Your winner for “Losing Effort of the Year.” Play it one more time. “Losing
effort of the Year” your Verbie goes to … Johnny Manziel.
Dan:
Had to be, wow – Had to be.
Ty:
Folks were writing in, saying it’s got to be Mike Evans. I’m looking at this
thinking, huh? It’s got to be Johnny Manziel.
Dan: It’s got to be Johnny Manziel. He did a little bit of losing. He did a lot of
bit of effort in this game.
Ty:
He threw two interceptions. I don’t care.
Dan:
No.
Ty:
All those yards. Johnny Manziel.
Dan:
All part of the effort, the Losing Effort.
Ty:
“Twitter Feed of the Year,” another one.
Voice over:
Twitter Feed, Twitter Feed of the Year.
Ty:
Lot of repeat nominations in this category.
Dan:
Who won last year?
Ty:
We were incorrect. I was going to say we were incorrect in one of our
shows that we did in Southern California, when we wrongfully said that Celebrity
Hot Tub won this category last year.
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Dan: I wasn’t sure when you said it. I didn’t really remember so I didn’t say
anything. Was it Spencer Hall who won it last year?
Ty:
Right. I have a five-hour window in which my short-term memory is sharp.
I have too much going on. I was dead wrong. Spencer Hall won this award last
year, not Celebrity Hot Tub.
Dan:
You want to know a fun fact about the Spencer Hall Twitter feed EDSBS?
Ty:
Fun fact.
Dan: In the past year, I had never heard this before, a lot of people have said,
“Oh yeah, Spencer Hall but why is his twitter feed EDSBS?” As if there was a guy
named Ed just BS-ing on Twitter. It made sense to very little people, very few
people, excuse me. And I suppose very little people as well.
Ty:
Sure of course, yeah.
Dan:
Celebrity Hot Tub did not win the 2012 Verbie.
Ty:
He was a nomination this year, a lot of repeat nominees this year.
Spencer Hall, not one of them.
Dan:
No, interesting.
Ty:
Not on the list this year. Perhaps it’s a sea change her in the world of
Twitter. We will see. Your nominees Dan Beebe @, with the @ sign, shift 2.
Dan:
I’m writing this down.
Ty:
The shift key in number 2, Dan.
Dan:
Okay, perfect. That works.
Ty:
Dan Beebe@ the fake Dan Beebe. You might remember the real Dan
Beebe as the much maligned former commissioner of the Big 12 conference.
Dan:
You say fake, Ty, but I haven’t seen any proof.
Ty:
Fake Dan Beebe, very funny on the Twitters.
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Dan:
Yes.
Ty:
Celebrity Hot Tub.
Dan:
Ryan Hot Tub.
Ty:
You heard him on the show.
Dan:
Yeah. You heard him splashing around.
Ty:
Might have been better than both of us, quite frankly.
Dan:
Yeah, probably.
Ty:
Very good at what he does, follow him, @CelebrityHotTub. Again shift 2
celebrity hot tub.
Dan: See, he has the luxury of having something you don’t, and that’s a
mysterious day job, in which he can find time to do some tweeting.
Ty:
Right. No I can’t –
Dan:
Also he’s anonymous, and that makes it a lot easier.
Ty:
That also helps. He has a very strong Twitter game. Evil Bill O’Brien has
since changed his name to something to do with James Franklin of course.
Dan:
Really.
Ty:
Evil Bill O’Brien on this list, sort of the alter ego for Bill O’Brien, what he’s
really thinking what he can’t say aloud. Very funny twitter feed. Then Faux Pelini
that’s F-A-U-X Pelini. Which I should point out, had this voting taken place at a
different point in time, there is a chance that Faux Pelini would have garnered
more votes. Do you remember a few weeks back, the actual Bo Pelini tweeted at
Faux Pelini because Faux Pelini in his twitter avatar has a picture of Bo Pelini
holding a cat.
Dan:
Right.
Ty:
The real Bo Pelini sent a message to fake Bo Pelini saying, “Listen, enough
is enough, I want my cat back.” If the voting took place at a different point in
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time, maybe there would have been a different result.
Dan: Maybe it swung. It’s really hard. It is really difficult to pull off a parody
account. All three of these parody accounts, Pelini, Beebe and O’Brien, are
fantastic. Faux Pelini is amazing.
Ty:
Faux Pelini is very good.
Dan: A lot of people try to do it and it’s really difficult, and it’s uncomfortable
to read people trying to do this. This three pull it off in a tremendous way.
Ty:
I also remember very clearly an interview we did with Dan Wetzel, talking
about his interactions with the fake Dan Beebe.
Dan:
Yes.
Ty:
This is from a couple of years ago and this Twitter account was a lot more
relevant. These are all guys who do a really good job. Dan, let’s dim the lights.
Dan:
Dim those lights.
Ty:
The nominees again, “Twitter Feed of the Year,” Dan Beebe, Evil Bill
O’Brien, Faux Pelini, our friend Celebrity Hot Tub. Daniel, here is the envelope.
Who wins?
Dan:
Celebrity Hot Tub.
Ty:
Celebrity Hot Tub, he finally gets one.
Dan:
Congratulations to Ryan.
Ty:
Wow!
Dan: Writes for Espy Nation, writes for EDSBS, has appeared on this show,
appeared on my parents Jacuzzi.
Ty:
Yeah.
Dan:
Nobody invited him.
Ty:
No.
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Dan: He just showed up. He runs a fantastic Twitter feed and should be
commended for all of his wackiness as it relates to college football and
otherwise. A local to New York, Mr. Hot Tub enjoys graham crackers and
chocolate milk as his drunk food combination of choice as revealed on the Solid
Verbal.
Ty:
Is that the back of his baseball card.
Dan:
That is the back of his baseball card.
Ty:
Oh my, okay congratulations to him.
Dan:
Well deserve.
Ty:
“Tire Fire of the Year,” we are coming down the stretch here.
Voice over:
“Tire Fire, Tire Fire of the Year.”
Ty:
The “Tire Fire,” actually a meme that has graduated into a Verbie much
like Losing Effort of the Year.
Dan:
Yes.
Ty:
We talked about tire fires countless times on this program. Started a
couple of years ago, last year we had the funny keyboard. For those of you who
remember the live show we did on YouTube with the help of Espy Nation. Tire fire
is our way of saying something’s really wrong with your program, with your
administration, with your on-field product, with whatever. There is something
burning out of control, and a tire fire can get ugly and smelly and can be very
difficult to put out because it keeps burning.
Dan:
It’s the exact opposite of a shorty fire burning on the dance floor.
Ty:
Of course.
Dan: Which is a fire you want. The shorty fire that is burning on the dance floor,
you do not want a tire fire.
Ty:
“Tire Fire of the Year,” we have four nominees, Daniel.
Dan:
Hit me.
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Ty:
Number one, Florida, the Gators.
Dan:
I’m going to spoil something right now.
Ty:
Yeah.
Dan:
Not a hotly contested category.
Ty:
No.
Dan:
Lot of voting, but a pretty lopsided vote for this category. Continue.
Ty:
Candidate two, Purdue.
Dan:
Ugly 2013.
Ty:
Ugly. Had a new coach.
Dan:
Yes they did.
Ty:
You got to give them a little bit of time, it was ugly. I’ll give you that, it
was very ugly, the worst fire.
Dan:
Worst to trust a bowl.
Ty:
Still kind of unfair for Purdue to be in this list
Dan:
Okay.
Ty:
Northwestern. That was a tire fire.
Dan: Tire fire of pretty epic proportions with how beat up they were and the
sort of dip they took when those injuries really started to take hold.
Ty:
Good enough to win some games that they didn’t win.
Dan:
Yeah.
Ty:
Good enough to beat Ohio State, I thought, earlier in the year. Didn’t
come to fruition but they certainly were in that game until the very end and then
we saw …
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Dan: I would still contend that a healthy Northwestern is flirting with
double-digit wins.
Ty:
Sure.
Dan:
Still contending.
Ty:
I think that’s fair.
Dan:
Lot of heartbreaking last seconds, beat up.
Ty:
Went on a slide there after the Ohio State game, could never get it
together. Staying in the Big Ten, how about Michigan?
Dan:
Michigan.
Ty:
Is this fair to put them in here?
Dan: It is absolutely fair, just because of the lows of their ability to run the ball
coupled with the fact that they played games against U-Conn and Akron that
they weren’t … if you walk away from a U-Conn or an Akron Game in a modern
era. Not in years where they have been decent, where they’ve been terrible like
they are this year and you’re Michigan with the kind of talent that Michigan has
and you walk away like wow. Michigan snuck away with a surprise win there. That
is bad, that’s terrible, terrible tire fire it is.
Ty:
Again your nominees, “Tire Fire of the Year:” Florida, Northwestern,
Michigan, and Purdue. Dim the lights, Dan.
Dan:
Yes, it is dimmed.
Ty:
“Tire Fire of the Year.” On a cold January night, the tires that are burning.
The tires that are warming us …
Dan:
Yeah, we need the warmth.
Ty:
Congratulations to the Florida Gators.
Dan:
Oh, yeah.
Ty:
Will Muschamp didn’t win coach of the year but Florida wins “Tire Fire of
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the Year” by an astounding –
Dan:
It’s like not winning director but winning best picture of the year.
Ty:
An astounding 85% of the votes in this category went to Florida. By far, it
was the least contested category. Florida wins again.
Dan:
“Tire Fire of the Year” … Congratulations to you guys.
Ty:
All of the votes came from the State of Florida.
Dan:
People’s votes came from Gainesville.
Ty:
People were clearing their cookies and voting multiple times if possible to
get Florida the “Tire Fire of the Year” … Congratulations, guys. That brings us to
the Capstone Award.
Dan:
Yes.
Ty:
Here on the Solid Verbal, we do many “Clemson of the Year” for us. It’s
still for better or for worst. I know there people who will disagree with it.
Dan:
Right …
Ty:
There are many people out there who feel we invented the term,
Clemsoning. We’ll be the first to say, “We did not invent the term, Clemsoning.”
What we did do though, through this podcast and because we have thousands
upon thousands of listeners, we did help popularize the term, Clemson,
Clemsoning, Clemsoned. We did put that on Urban Dictionary and we did have
that on ESPN. Clemson and “Clemsonings of Year” is very much something that
we are actively part of, each and every college football season since we started
back in 2008. Is that fair to say?
Dan:
Fair to say.
Voice Over:
“Clemson of the Year”
Ty:
Very quickly Dan, what is a “Clemson of the Year”? What constitutes a
“Clemson of the year”?
Dan: A “Clemson of the Year” rewards or puts down a season in which a team
came into the year with hype, raised that hype up and raised expectations over
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the course of the season. And at an unexpected moment, at a time where
nobody was expecting this team to lose, they go ahead and waste that hype and
those expectations.
Ty:
Give me the envelope. Let’s read the nominees here. Number one:
Stanford. Stanford, I feel a very appropriate nominee in this category, had that
bad loss to Utah earlier in the year.
Dan: Huge expectations, they’re winning. Things are looking good. They beat
Washington in a game that could’ve gone either way. Close game at the end.
They get by Washington. They go on the road the following week, lay an egg.
Ty:
Another Pac-12 nominee. How about your Oregon Ducks, Dan?
Dan: Oregon. I don’t quite understand this as a “Clemson of the Year,” because
they go undefeated and then they lose to Stanford at Stanford. But one loss
does not a season erase, and Oregon was still very much in contention for not
just the Pac-12 crown, with Stanford’s second lost to USC, but also a National
Championship run. Even though it’s hard to say, but Auburn probably would’ve
leapfrogged Oregon depending on what happened in the Pac-12 championship
game. In any case, Oregon loses to Arizona unceremoniously, a team that was up
and down all season long. Finished the season strong but going on the road and
losing the way they did to Arizona, while still in contention for a Conference
and/or National Championship, pretty inexcusable with the fashion in which they
lost.
Ty:
First two nominees in this category finished the year with 11 wins. Very
difficult to put them in this category. Moving on, let’s go to Northwestern.
Dan:
Yep.
Ty:
–
I don’t know if it is appropriate to put Northwestern in this category, but
Dan: It’s tough. When you’re trading in non-Clemson teams for the “Clemson
of the Year” …
Ty:
Yeah?
Dan:
It’s a tough task.
Ty:
It’s funny you should mention that, Dan. Our next nominee is the
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Clemson Tigers. This is not fair. The only reason Clemson is in this category is
because the award is duly named after the Clemson Tigers. Clemson lost to
Florida State. They got hammered by Florida State. Within the context of that
game, it was a Clemsoning, not because they lost but because of how badly they
lost. But throughout the course of the season, for Clemson to be here, in this
category, I don’t know. I don’t know if I agree with it. Maybe for the first time
ever – I don’t know.
Dan:
We have three double-digit win teams so far?
Ty:
Yeah. The problem to me or the reason why Clemson is in this category is
because of the way – not that they just lost the Florida State game, which was
at home. We were to believe that Clemson was a top five team at that time,
which was not an unreasonable thought.
Dan:
Of course.
Ty:
From what they did, they really looked very good against a healthy
Georgia team in the opener of this season, but to lose in that fashion as a
purported top five team at home to, granted, the eventual National Champion.
To lose by that many and that quickly and in that ugly a fashion, there’s an
argument to be made that there were expectations that were far too high for
what they showed on the field that night.
Dan:
I agree with that, yeah.
Ty:
Okay. And then?
Dan: And then turning the ball over five or six times against South Carolina
probably wasn’t ideal. Not ideal.
Ty:
Then there’s Georgia. You know, I might have cast my vote for Georgia
here. There were some Clemsonings that occur just because a team can’t get up
for a game. The prototypical Clemsoning is when you don’t have the injuries and
you have a lot of momentum and then all of a sudden you just come out there
and inexplicably lay a stinker on a Thursday night. Georgia didn’t really have many
of those. But Georgia really let people down. Georgia had a ton of injuries. As we
said earlier, eventually Aaron Murray even succumbed to injury. Georgia let a lot
of people down, came in actually with that game against Clemson, with very very
high expectations first week of the year. They lost that game –
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Dan:
But didn’t build expectations throughout the course of the season.
Ty:
Did not build throughout the course of the season, very slowly bled.
Dan:
Yes, they did. Very quickly bled, with the injuries that they suffered.
Ty:
They bled out one way or the other. Your nominees, “Clemson of the
Year”: Northwestern, Oregon, Stanford, Clemson, and Georgia. Dan, dim the
lights …
Dan: I do like that we have Georgia as a nominee, and they were the most
insane play of the season. They are insanely improbable play of the season away
from beating the SEC champion.
Ty:
A very tough category, and entirely subjective five nominees. Dan, the
lights have been dimmed.
Dan:
Lights dimmed.
Ty:
Drum roll, please. Dan, I am handing the envelope to you. “Clemson of the
Year,” the Verbie goes to …
Dan:
The Verbie goes to Oregon.
Ty:
Yeah, no … After all this time, the Ducks finally win something, Dan. No
longer paper champs. Your Oregon Ducks, Champion! Wow. Well, stand-off, son.
Alamo Bowl champions, also “Clemson of the Year” – Congratulations! Do you
have any acceptance speech? Would you like to accept on behalf of your proud
alma mater?
Dan: I’d like to accept on behalf of the Oregon linebacking corp, who were
goaded and misled repeatedly by Rich Rodriguez and the offensive system in
place at the University of Arizona. I would thank them for over-running plays, for
getting swallowed up into blocks, not getting off of blocks. I would like to the
defensive line coach, defensive coordinator, Nick Aliotti and Ron Aiken for not
adjusting anything at the half, just a real group effort on the part of that defense.
I would like to thank Marcus Mariota’s torn MCL for the role it played. We’re
calling it Manny the MCL.
Ty:
Okay. You’ve named it?
Dan:
You can’t. It’s one of those things where you accept an award at the
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Oscars. You can’t just thank the cast and crew. I mean, so much goes into it,
your agents and your managers and your kids and your wife for all the support or
your husband, whatever the case may be. It really was a group effort in the part
of the Oregon defense and coaching staff and enough can be said. Enough can be
said.
Ty:
One of the things that I am most looking forward to as we forge ahead
now into 2014 –
Dan:
Good Lord.
Ty:
Is watching you slowly and surely find ways to jump off the Mark Helfrich
bandwagon. No one’s really got a bandwagon for Mark Helfrich, but –
Dan: I think people are on a Helfrich bandwagon, sort of like give him time to
get used to it instead of managing a staff, those types of people.
Ty:
You have never been on that bandwagon, Dan. You’ve always been very
cautious and almost cynical about his chances up there in Eugene. I am curious to
watch you evolve as a human, as a man, as a host.
Dan:
Well, I’m not going to evolve as a man. The evolution is done.
Ty:
As a host and as an Oregon fan then.
Dan: Yeah. No, look, and this is – it could be changing for the better and Mark
Helfrich comes out and Oregon beats the crap out of the Stanford team that
lost a ton of people up in Eugene next year and beats Michigan State in Eugene.
With the full off-season to figure out what he’s done right and wrong and which
coaches should be doing what and what players should be playing where and how
to fill in gaps and fix what went wrong with assignments. Maybe it’s changing me
for the better, that I’m going to be super impressed and way more impressed
than I was this first season. At least in the back half of the season. That’s entirely
possible. Also entirely possibly, I lose my damn mind.
Ty:
There it is.
Dan:
Scott Frost. Blech.
Ty:
That concludes the 2013-2014 Verbie Awards. Can you believe this is our
fifth Verbie Award?
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Dan:
Unbelievable. I still remember when we were – were wee Verbie hosts –
Ty:
Where does the time go, Dan?
Dan:
Where does it go?
Ty:
Congratulations again to your victors. Again, very quickly, Eminem’s
interview with Saturday Night Football, Brent Musburger, Kirk Herbstreit …
Jadeveon Clowney for “Worst Year Back” … the officiating in the Wisconsin-ASU
game, “Crime of the Year” … Baylor’s black and chrome uniforms win “Alternate
Uniform of the Year.”
Dan:
Hotly contested.
Ty:
Zach Mettenberger and Aaron Murray, once being roommates is your
“Random Factoid That Still May Only Interest Tom Hammond.”
Dan: I believe Zach Mettenberger’s mother worked for or works for the
University of Georgia still.
Ty:
It’s a Festivus miracle, indeed.
Dan:
That was a tack-on to that one, yeah?
Ty:
Of course. Wave Ryder, “Name of the Year” … got a BS targeting call in
the bowl game. I watched that game.
Dan:
Yeah. They still beat Middle Tennessee.
Ty:
They did. “Not Coach of the Year” goes to Lane Kiffin. Big surprise. “Host
Meme of the Year” ... Dan?
Dan:
Bortles.
Ty:
“Twitter Feed of the Year,” Celebrity Hot Tub. “Losing Effort of the Year,”
Johnny Manziel against Alabama. “Tire Fire of the Year” in resounding fashion is
your Florida Gators, and “Clemson of the Year” once more goes to your Oregon
Ducks. There you have it.
Dan:
Whatever.
Ty:
2013-2014 Verbies … Big thanks again to the Verbies Ninja Squadron.
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They helped organize the show as they always do. Helped organize the nominees,
helped organize all the voting. We couldn’t have done this without them. Big
thanks to out good friend Jason who put together the very fine voice-over work
that you heard. Big thanks to all of our participants, for all of our nominees, for all
of the Verballers for making this possible. Mr. Rubenstein … It’s always fun.
Dan: It was a terrific … Where are you going? I had a terrific time, by the way.
Thank you for having me, as always. Where are you going for your Verbie
after-party?
Ty:
Verbie after-party will be at the Historic Hotel Bethlehem.
Dan:
Okay.
Ty:
We’re having the New York Strip Steak.
Dan:
Okay. How is that being cooked?
Ty:
I’m going to go medium. I don’t usually go medium but I’m going to go
medium.
Dan:
I go medium with my steaks. What do you usually go?
Ty:
I usually go medium well but I’m feeling dangerous tonight after this
show.
Dan: Medium well? Come on, Ty. Go dangerous, you got to go a little bit pink,
a little bit of pink.
Ty:
We’re going to go strip steak. I believe they have some candied baby
carrots.
Dan:
Okay.
Ty:
Also, there’s some sort of casserole, which I’m not sure what it is. I’ll be
sure to update Andy Staples as soon as I see, if it’s like hash brown casserole or
a green bean casserole. There will be some of that, and then of course, it’s an
open bar. It’s like a 6-hour open bar.
Dan:
Well, we like to drink here on the Verbies.
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Ty:
Of course.
Dan: I’m going to have one be passed out. I think we’re going to have a good
time.
Ty:
I’m going to play Snood and go to bed, is what I’m going to do.
Dan:
You know what I have for you?
Ty:
Yeah.
Dan:
It wouldn’t be a special Solid Verbal if I didn’t have this for you.
Ty:
Please.
Dan:
I have a hypothetical question for you to end this show.
Ty:
You do?
Dan: I’m going to stretch your brain muscles, okay? If we’re not ending a show
with a weird question then we’re not doing it right.
Ty:
All right, okay.
Dan: Hotly spoken of at Espy Nation studios in New York, New York. If you
were to – on a special occasion –
Ty:
Yeah, special occasion …
Dan: You’re familiar with the – I think it’s sort of the like old tradition of
strippers popping out of cakes.
Ty:
Of course.
Dan: If you were to pop out of a non-dessert giant dish of food for sexiness
reasons, what dish is that?
Ty:
Pumpkin pie.
Dan:
Pumpkin pie?
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Ty:
Pumpkin pie.
Dan:
Why is that?
Ty:
It’s the most sensual of all desserts.
Dan:
Is it? I’m going to rephrase this, Ty … One more time, non-desserts.
Ty:
Non-dessert, okay.
Dan:
Non-desserts.
Ty:
That puts a spin on it then.
Dan: Entree, appetizer, whatever. Now, keep in mind, if it’s for sexiness
purposes you’re probably not wearing a ton clothes.
Ty:
Right.
Dan:
You got to sort of figure out temperatures.
Ty:
Does whipped cream count as dessert?
Dan:
Yes.
Ty:
Well, okay. Non-dessert.
Dan:
Non-dessert.
Ty:
This is me? I’m popping out of this?
Dan:
You are the one popping out.
Ty:
Okay.
Dan:
For your lovely lady friend.
Ty:
Okay. I’m sure she’d be very thrilled.
Dan: Yes. It’s sort of like, you go to a restaurant – I’m going to paint a scene
for you.
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Ty:
Paint a scene, okay.
Dan: You go to a restaurant and basically you are saying, “I’ll meet you at the
restaurant. Sit down, have a glass of wine, I’m gonna be a little bit late.” Waiter
rolls out a giant novelty-size dish of X. Not X like ecstasy but X, like an algebraic
expression. There’s a giant plate of this food, fill in the blank, and it’s very
startling to your lady friend. And then all of a sudden, you pop out.
Ty:
The answer of course is lasagna.
Dan: Lasagna is not a bad answer. It’s the scalding hot factor, it’s the cheese
burns.
Ty:
Lasagna is the answer here.
Dan:
Okay, that’s fair.
Ty:
Final answer.
Dan: You know what? I think you could actually find a lasagna that’s comically
large.
Ty:
My mom could make one that’s comically large!
Dan: I feel like a lasagna could be made or assembled with multiple trays,
where it’s like, “Oh. It’s a giant Italian party. It’s a giant Italian wedding or function
or whatever.” Whereas you do have this novelty, comically sized lasagna, and you
could just emerge from that lasagna.
Ty:
Do you have a pick for this?
Dan: I waffled. I really feel that it would be interesting to wheel up like a
cauldron if it’s not scalding hot of like French onion soup.
Ty:
But you see, then you’ve got to hold your breath. You could potentially
drown if you’re in there.
Dan: Well, if there’s space between the soup and the cheese that coat the top
of the vat. If there’s some sort of hole then I feel that the breathability factor is
nice, because who ever expects a semi-nude Dan Rubenstein to emerge from a
giant vat of French onion soup … Very few people, I would say.
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Ty:
The hazard though with French onion soup is the melted cheese on the
top, you must penetrate through the top of that and not be drowned.
Dan:
I feel like nachos are a good option, because even if you –
Ty:
Potentially abrasive on the skin though, Dan.
Dan: Potentially abrasive, a lot of oil, if they’re not scalding hot, I feel like
nachos are a food that people like so much that they wouldn’t have a problem
eating them off of your semi-nude body. I don’t think that’s, that’s not
unreasonable.
Ty:
It’s getting weird.
Dan:
Getting weird, but that’s what we do.
Ty:
Big thanks again to all the Verballers, who again e-mailed in, voted, made
the Verbies possible. Big thanks again to the Verbies Ninja Squadron, for that guy
over there, Mr. Dan Rubenstein in blustery New York City, for myself, Ty, here in
beautiful Allentown, Pennsylvania. Thanks again for another great season. Thanks
again for all your participation and certainly all your downloads. In the meantime,
we’ll see you when we see you. Please stay solid. Peace!
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