Tied Together In Love
SHARING FAMILY TRADITIONS WITH
NON-MEMBER OR LESS-ACTIVE FAMILY MEMBERS
Family Reunions
Reunions are a great way to “tie” a family together including those that are not members of the church.
As you play games, share stories, exchange genealogy and eat great food, memories are made that you
cannot get anywhere else. Planning ahead can take the stress and strain off of the “big day”. Here are a
few suggestions:
Have a committee- make assignments.
Make plans for to six months ahead.
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Choose a catchy theme, such as: Carnival Time, Wild-Wild West, Luau, Barn Dance, Christmas in July, !
Easter Parade, The Good Ole’ Summertime, Honor a Grandparent, etc.
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Choose activities that involve different ages, “Ice-Breakers” are a great way to get to know those long !
lost cousins, aunts, uncles, or grandparents.
Choose a family historian and photographer to keep a record of the events.
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Put together a guest list and pass on to the host for next year’s reunion. Send invitations at least four !
months before the event, and a reminder two weeks before your reunion. Include a map if !
necessary.
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Holding a “White Elephant Auction” can possibly pay for part of the reunion or expenses for the com!
ing year. It is also fun to see what is being auctioned off.
Choose the reunion site and date and make reservations, which can be you old home town, or a place that is memorable to your family. If you let your family know way in advance, you will be more likely to get a better attendance.
Plenty of good food is an essential part of reunions. Keep your menus simple, but be creative. your food choices can go along with your theme, or can be those family favorites that you have passed down through the years.
A week before your reunion, make a last minute confirmation on reservations at camp sites, parks, or the place of the reunion. Check with your committee to see if names tags, food containers, plenty of ice, tableware, coverings, and welcome posters are all in order.
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A keepsake from the reunion is a great way to keep those memories alive. Some suggestions could !
be a t-shirt with the theme written on it, a pillowcase with everyone’s autograph, a recipe book !
of those yummy recipes from each family, etc.
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Have a great time at your reunion, and remember that “FAMILIES ARE LIKE UILTS, THEY ARE “TIED !
TOGETHER” WITH LOVE!”
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Copyright © 2005 Brigham Young University, Women's Conference. All Rights Reserved.
Family Histories
Because of common links to grandparents, aunts and uncles, family history is a natural and effective way
to build relationships with family members who are not members of the church or who are not strong in
the church. Here are some suggestions:
Emphasize themes of inclusion when organizing extended-family events. Pull out themes from time
periods of the past that emphasize sharing, belonging to the group, or drawing together. Examples might
be “knitted together,” “crazy quilts”, “hanging together” (reference to grandma hanging out the wash),
“sock basket,” “peas in the pod,” etc. Use visuals of these symbols. Look for opportunities to include
others and draw others in. Foster a spirit of unity. Unity is your goal.
Make the compiling of grandpa/ grandma histories a group project. Invite everyone to contribute in
easy ways that build bridges. For example, invite everyone to submit personal memories, stories, and
photographs. E-mail can be used to advantage here. Use talents of the non-members or less-active in
art, photography, or computer skills.
When someone in the family prepares a history of a progenitor, be sure to share it with every other
family member. Invite everyone to contribute additional information that is then added to the history.
This way the progenitor histories are works in progress with everyone contributing. Show that you value
the contributions of others.
Always be willing to share your information and research with others. Remember that photos make
family histories interesting.
Have you ever wished you had kept up with your cousins’ lives? Consider doing a “Circle of Cousins”
e-mail group with scattered cousins. A few cousins can start by sending short and friendly e-mail letters
to each other, sharing current events. Other cousins are included in the group e-mails as their e-mail
addresses are obtained. It’s easier, less expensive and faster to send e-mail messages to a group than to
circulate a round-robin letter or make phone calls. It’s possible to accommodate a large group. Folks
can participate to the degree they wish. The cousins can share their everyday lives with other cousins
this way by including news of family activities or personal activities such as church activities, etc.
Our family played an ancestor game with a large group at a family reunion by dividing the group into
a right and a left section. Each section named a representative. The oldest members of the family were
invited to sit at the front in the “judges section.” The leader prepares questions in advance such as true/
false or multiple-choice questions. An example might be, “True or False: An ancestor of Mary Hansen
served in the Civil War on the Union side.” Or “Grandpa Hansen has a grandpa born in (A) Poland or
(B) Austria.” The questions are alternated between the teams. The team can consult amongst themselves. Their representative gives the group’s answer. The judges rule on the answer. (If the judges don’t
know, the moderator is the final authority.) The teams accumulate a point for each correct answer. The
questions need to be carefully chosen and not too specific. The moderator can quickly give additional
information on that ancestor as the group seems interested (like the person’s name, where they lived, life
events, etc.). The Hansen family members assembled were largely non-members, and they enjoyed the
game very much. The moderator kept things moving quickly. We played about 20 minutes. The moderator used a microphone so everyone could hear.
A fun group activity is to make a list that pertains to a grandparent. Examples might be to make a list of
things you remember in Grandma’s house or a list of things they remember Grandpa doing. Members of
the group call out items, and a recorder writes them down. See how long a list the group can make.
You’ll be surprised at how many memories this activity brings up. Keep the list and share it among the
group as part of your family history.
Copyright © 2005 Brigham Young University, Women's Conference. All Rights Reserved.
An idea for a group game with extended family is Family Bingo with blank squares on the cards. Everyone fills the squares on their card by getting other people to print their name in the squares. Everyone’s card has different names on it. The caller draws names from a bowl that contains everyone’s name.
If you are invited to share your personal history with your non-member family, be sure to express
your testimony to the extent you feel you should. Don’t underestimate the power of expressing your
religious convictions. Invite others in the family (including non-members and less active) to express their
convictions as well. It’s my experience that everyone has something to contribute.
For several years, I participated in an e-mail genealogy research group. It was great fun and very productive. I was the only member of the church in the group. We were all actively researching one progenitor’s line and decided to combine our efforts. We were distantly related.
As we found something in our research, we sent an e-mail to the group sharing that information. It
was a very difficult line to research. We posed questions to each other that stimulated ideas and led to
further discoveries. We brainstormed together. We started with 3 researchers, but quickly added others.
We were very successful as a group. None of us on our own could have accomplished what the group
accomplished together.
I shared a little of my parents’ conversion stories as well as my parents’ life events as we went along.
We all shared something of our personal and family lives. Several members of the group are still researching and still sharing with me, even though I’m no longer an active participant.
Great Group Games
Games can be a fun way to make memories and traditions. As a family we enjoy just a simple game of
baseball or kick ball. At one of our family reunions we enjoy games like horse shoes and volley ball. Our
children have fond memories of quietly (NOT!) fishing on the banks of Grandpa Neal’s Lake or the fireworks on the 4th of July. Hiking trails and exploring ice caves or other such things are great too! The
following are some quick ideas for organized games for large and small groups:
Large Groups:
GARBAGE BAG BALL- For this game, take a large plastic garbage bag and fill it full of balloons (already blown up) and tie the bag. You now have a Garbage Bag Ball. Have all but 10 of your group make
a large circle on their knees. The remaining ten kids then make a pinwheel formation in the center of the
circle, lying on their backs, heads toward the center. Everyone should have his shoes off best results. The
garbage bag is then tossed into the circle. The object is for the kids on their back to kick or hit the ball
out of the circle, over the heads of the kids in the outer circle. The outer circle tries to keep it in play. If
the ball is kicked over a player’s head in the outer circle, then he must take the person’s place in the inner
circle. Play for as long as you wish and have fun.
Small Groups:
LONG JOHN STUFF- This is a funny game and is fun in a group. You will need to get two pairs of
long underwear and about one hundred small (six inch round) balloons. You will also need a straight pin.
Divide into two teams. Each team selects one person from their team to put on a pair of long johns. It
would be best for them to pick someone who is not too big. The long johns should just go over the kid’s
regular clothes. Each team should also select two to three balloon stuffers. When the kids are ready,
throw out an equal number of balloons to the two teams. The team members must blow them up (all
the way), tie them and pass them to the stuffers who try to stuff all of them into the long johns. The
object is to see which team can stuff the most balloons into the person’s long johns within the given time
Copyright © 2005 Brigham Young University, Women's Conference. All Rights Reserved.
limit. Usually about three minutes is enough time. After both contestants have been sufficiently stuffed,
stop the two teams and have the two people in the long johns stand still. (Good picture moment!) To
count the balloons, begin with the one who appears to have the fewest balloons and pop them with a
pin (through the long johns), while the team counts. (Be careful you don’t stick the contestant with the
pin.)
Relay Game:
T.P. RELAY- Each team is given a roll of toilet paper. The team should be divided in half, with half the
team on one end of the playing area and the other half on the opposite end. The first person in line puts
the roll of toilet paper down on the ground and begins to unroll it by pushing it along with his nose.
When he reaches the first person on the other half of the team, then that person turns the roll around
and begins pushing it back, and so on until the entire roll is unrolled. The first team to finish unrolling is
the winner.
Family Calendars, Newsletters and Cookbooks
Calendars
Creating a Family Calendar is one way to stay in touch with relatives living apart from each
other. It provides a way to develop relationships and build family unity. Dates that can be included are:
birthdays, anniversaries, reunions, family gatherings, and other special days. Adding photos of different
families or previous family gatherings brings cherished memories alive again.
There are companies on the internet who will create family calendars with photos and dates.
However, these can also be made with computer programs or even by hand and copied at a local copy
store.
Newsletters
Sending family newsletters monthly, quarterly or yearly keeps everyone up to date on the happenings in everyone’s lives. Newsletters can be done in a variety of ways. One family could begin a
newsletter of their activities, then send it to another family where their news is added and continue on
until the cycle starts over again with the first family. Another way to accomplish a family newsletter is to
designate one family to be in charge of collecting the newsletters and then copying them to send to all
family members by way of postal mail or email. Newsletters can also be posted on a family website.
Items to include could be the current happenings with each family, any upcoming activities for
the extended family, any special requests for shared information, and spotlighting family members or family ancestors.
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Cookbooks
Cookbooks can be filled with those family favorites that you bring to reunions or to other family
gatherings. You could include a family slogan or something fun about a family member that would be
worth remembering. Make copies to distribute or to sell to cover reunion costs.
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Copyright © 2005 Brigham Young University, Women's Conference. All Rights Reserved.