Foundations of Healthy
Relationships
Name:________________________
Period:_______________
Health Education
Healthy Relationships
• Relationship
– A ________________________ you have
with other people
• Relationships allow us to meet our ______
to be:
– LOVED
– SAFE
– SECURE
– VALUED
– RECOGNIZED
Healthy Relationships
• All relationships have (+) and (-) effects on
your health
• Healthy Relationships demonstrate (+)
effects on all areas of your health.
• Healthy Relationships are based on:
– S_____________
– S______________
– M__________________
Healthy Relationships
• Friendship Relationships
– Significant relationship between 2 people that is
based on caring, trust and consideration
• Friendships contribute to enhancing your health
by:
–
–
–
–
–
Sharing similar values
Share hobbies and interests
Sharing friends
Positively influencing self-esteem and self-concept
Helping to resist negative influences
Healthy Relationships
Friend or Acquaintance?
– Acquaintance- relationship less intimate than friendship
• Not as much caring, trust or consideration
– Talk to less, do not share same information, do
not turn to in time of need.
•
As teens, we see all people as a friend, however, is that
true?
Questions to Consider
1. Do you have more friends or acquaintances? Why?
2. What causes you to call someone a friend or
acquaintance?
Healthy Relationships
• Community Relationships
– Citizenship
• The way you conduct yourself as a
member of the community
• Work together to promote the _______
and well-being of the entire ___________
– Community Watch
Donation Drives
– Volunteer Programs
– Food Bank
Obey laws
Golden Rule
Building Healthy
Relationships &
Communication
The 4 C’s to Building Healthy
Relationships
• For a relationship to succeed and be
healthy, the people involved need certain
skills.
• 4 C’s
– Communication
– Cooperation
– Compromise
– Character
Communication
• Communication
– The way you ______________________
messages from others
What are some ways we communicate?
• Cooperation
– Working with others to accomplish
__________________
Relationship=Common goal=Cooperation
Compromise
• Compromise
– Giving up something so that all can reach a satisfying
solution
– ___________________________
• Involves a “give and take” which can strengthen
relationships
• All must be satisfied with the _______________
• Do not give up your values or beliefs to
compromise on a situation
Character in Relationships
•
There are ____ major character traits that are needed to
relationships to be healthy
1. T_________________ – honesty, loyal, courage to do
what is right
2. R_________ – good manners, consideration, tolerant
3. R________________ – accountable for actions, self
control, trying your best
4. F______________ – take turns, plays by rules, does
not take advantage
5. C_______ – demonstrates kindness, shows
compassion
6. C_________________ – cooperation. Doing your
share to help others, respect authority, obey laws, vote
Communication in Relationships
Communication
• COMMUNICATION: a process through which
you send messages to and receive messages
from others
• Effective communication is a ___________
• There are 3 basic ______ necessary for
effective communication
1. S_____________
2. L______________
3. B______________________
Communication Styles
3 Communication Styles
– ___________ (“Mrs. Go Along”)
• Inability or unwillingness to express thoughts/opinions
• Do not stand up for their beliefs
– ____________ (“Mr. Pushy”)
• Always try to get their way
• Use bullying and intimidation
– _____________(“Mr. and Mrs. Stand Up”)
• Express thoughts and feeling without hurting others
• However, they respect the thoughts of others
Speaking Skills
•
Good Speaking Skills
– Allows us to __________ our thoughts and
feelings
– Involves clearly saying what you mean
•
Tips:
– Watch your _________ and ___________.
(Changes message)
– Clearly state what you mean.
“I” vs. “You” messages
• I-messages simply state a problem
_____________________________
• This makes it easier for the other side to
help solve the problem, without having to
admit that they _____________
• Ex. "I felt let down," rather than "You broke
your promise"
“I” vs. “You” messages
“I” statements
“YOU” statements
Non Threatening
Threatening
Neutral Opinion
Initiates defensive
response
“Attacking”
Can be difficult
Automatic reaction
“I” Message vs. “You” Message
Aggressive (“You”) Message
What not to say
•“You idiot! You took my client and
cost me money. You owe me big
time.”
Assertive (“I”) Message
What to say
•“I’m upset that my client was taken
away from me.”
•“I worry about you when you don’t
•“Why are you always late? It’s really show up.”
annoying.”
How to construct and “I” sentence
• I feel
_________________________________
(say your feeling)
• when you
_____________________________
(describe the action)
• because
_______________________________
(say why the action connects to
your feeling)
Listening Skills
• Hearing is not ____________!!!
– ____________ Listening
• Listening while involving yourself in the
conversation
– The average listener retains and understands
about _________ of what he/ she hears
– Paying careful attention without judging or
interrupting
• 80% of our waking lives are spent hearing.
Techniques for Active Listening
1. Restating
 Restate or __________________ what the other
person said
2. Clarifying
 Ask questions to show your ________________
3. Encouragement
 Provide statement/gestures to encourage more
conversation

“I see”, “Un-Huh”, Head Nod
4. Empathy
1. Try to understand their feelings
2. Put yourself in their shoes
Body Language Skills
• Body Language = ___________
Communication
– The message you send to others based on
the way your body looks.
•
•
•
•
Eye contact
Posture
Gestures
Behaviors
– As much as ___________ of face - face
communication is non - verbal
BULLYING
Dealing with Bullying
• Bullying IS a BIG Deal
• BULLYING: when a person is picked on over
and over again by an individual or group with
more power
– Could be physical strength or social standing
• What are the two main reasons people are
bullied?
– _________________:
• Clothes they wear, haircut, etc.
– __________________:
• The way someone acts, race, religion, sexuality
Dealing with Bullying
• Bullies Attack
_________________
– Shoving, tripping,
punching, etc.
• Bullies Attack
_________________
– Verbal insults, labeling,
name calling, etc
• One of the MOST
painful aspects of
Bullying is its
_________________
• Studies show that
people who are
abused by their peers
are at risk for mental
health problems
– Depression
– Anxiety
• People who are bullied
may also develop
physical illness
– Stomach pains, extreme
stress levels, etc.
Bullying
• Bullies are at risk for developing problems
as well
– Often leads to more violent behavior as the bully
grows up
– As many as 25% of elementary school bullies
have a criminal record by the time they are 30
years old
– May end up being _______________________
– Do not do as well in school
– Often do not have the career or relationship
success that other people enjoy
Who Bullies?
• Both boys and girls
can be bullies
• May be outgoing and
aggressive
• May try to manipulate
in subtle, deceptive
ways
• Like to dominate
others
• Have often been
bullied in the past
themselves
• Often have poor social
skills and poor social
judgment
• People who are
insecure with
themselves
• Put others down to
make themselves feel
more interesting or
powerful
• Some have personality
disorders
What Can You Do About
Bullying?
• When to tell an adult
– Younger kids should ALWAYS tell an
adult
– Teens should tell an adult if there have
been threats of ___________________
• Many teens have died when threats, and
attacks were unreported and the silence
gave the bully an “ok” to become more and
more violent
What Can You Do About
Bullying?
• Ignore ___________
___________________
– NOT a ________
response
– Can be harder than
losing your temper
– You are telling the bully
that you just don’t care
– The bully will likely get
bored with trying to
bother you
– Walk TALL and hold
your head HIGH
• _________________
– Anger is the response
the bully is looking to
get from you
– Bullies want to know
that they have control
over you
– Work out your anger in
another way, such as…
What Can You Do About
Bullying?
• Don’t Get
________________
– Do NOT use physical
force
– You cannot be sure
how the bully will
respond
• Talk About It
– Guidance Counselor,
Teacher, or Friend
– Good outlet for fears
and frustrations
• Find Your True
Friends
– Find one or two good
friends you can
confide in that the
bully has hurt your
feelings
– Tell those friends
about the truth of the
rumors the bully may
be starting about you
Teen Dating
Dating Relationships
• Important to remember that the teen years
are a time of trying different ___________
__________________
• Breaking up, making up, and breaking up
again can be painful, but it is part of a
process of becoming emotionally mature
• H____________ and open c___________
are essential
• Dating is a way that teenagers get to know
people to whom they are attracted
• Dating gives you a chance to become
more comfortable with the opposite gender
• Dating provides the opportunity to practice
GOOD _____________________ and
________________________
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Dating Relationships
• _________________________
– Good way to ease into dating
– Less responsibility for keeping the
conversation going
– Less likely to feel self- conscious
– Being less nervous allows you to have a
better time and be yourself more easily
Some teens choose not to date at all due to
other interests, commitments, or not
emotionally ready
Rights
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
To ask for a ____________.
R____________ a date.
Suggest/refuse a____________.
Have own feelings and to __________ them.
Have limits and values ___________.
Refuse to lend ______________.
Have friends and space aside from partner.
35
Responsibilities
•
•
•
•
•
•
To determine limits/values.
Respect the limits of others.
Communicate clearly and honestly.
Ask for help when needed.
Be considerate.
Set high goals for myself.
36
Use your voice and
state your opinion.
You have the right to have a
life outside of your
relationship. Make time for
yourself, your family, your
friends, and your personal
goals. All of these are VERY
important.
You have the right to ask and
refuse a date. You can
suggest things that you would
like to do. You can say when
you think things are
inappropriate.
Have a LIFE!
You have the right to set
boundaries around sex, money,
time, and interactions. In other
words, have values and morals
that will be respected so that you
are not taken advantage of.
Maintain Boundaries
37
What Makes a Healthy Relationship?
• _________________Each person values
who the other person is and understands
them. You will not challenge the other
person’s boundaries.
• ___________ A little jealousy is okay,
jealousy is a natural emotion. It is how
you react is what matters. Trust is
essential to a healthy relationship.
• _________ Goes hand in hand with trust,
if you are caught in a lie once, how can
you expect to be trusted the next time?
38
What Makes a Healthy Relationship?
• Fairness/__________- Give and take
relationship. Things need to be even,
decisions and power need to be equal.
• Good _____________- Do not keep things
“bottled up” express your feelings and
concerns. Essential to a healthy
• Support- Your significant other should be your
shoulder to cry on and a person to celebrate
with together.
• Separate _____________- You need to make
compromises, however not by sacrificing who
you are. Feel free to develop new things while
staying “within yourself”.
39
Abusive relationships
Where Violence Occurs
• Violence can occur in any relationship
– F_____________________
• Spousal Abuse- abuse of wife/husband
• Child Abuse- abuse of child
• Neglect- failure to provide for a child’s physical/emotional
needs
– D_____________________
• Rape- any forced sexual activity that is unwanted
• Date Abuse- mental, emotional, physical abuse of a BF/GF
– C_________________________
• Personal Assault- unlawful attack with the intent to harm
• Homicide- willful killing of another person
• Gang Related
• What Is ____________?
– Someone who loves you should never abuse you
– Abuse can be mistaken for intense feelings of caring
or concern
• Boy/ girlfriend who is VERY jealous
– Abuse can be ______________________________
– Emotional abuse can be difficult to recognize
because it does not leave any visible scars
• Teasing, bullying, threats, intimidation, and
betrayal
42
What is abuse?
• Physical- ______________________
– Punching, Kicking, Pushing, Biting, Shaking, Use of
Weapons
• Emotional- ___________________________
– Putdowns, Shouting/Screaming, Name calling,
humiliating you, and threats of other violence
• Sexual- sexual contact against persons will
– Touching, Gestures, Speaking, Intercourse
Signs of Abuse
• Any physical harm
• Controlling
– Dress, Friends, What you say
• Humiliation
– Puts you down, then tells you “I love you”
• Threats
– Especially if you want to leave relationship
• Twists the truth
– Wants you to feel at fault
• Keeps track of you
• Jealousy/Anger when you are around others
Cycle of Abuse
Honeymoon Phase
• _________________________- Both people
are happy in relationship
• _________________- Tension build between
people, abusive person gets frustrated with
other.
• _____________- Shortest stage / Most harmful
– This stage is based on one specific incident that leads
to an explosion of anger.
• Abuser calms and tries to make up for abuse by
returning to honeymoon phase
How YOU can Avoid Violence
• ________________
– Become aware of the acts that are abusive
– The Best way to protect yourself is to become aware.
• _________________
– If anyone tries to abuse you, be assertive and stand
up for yourself.
• ________________
– If treated in an abusive manner, get away and tell
someone ASAP.
– Report abuse of others.
Breaking the Cycle
• You can help ______
the cycle of abuse. If
you or someone you
know is being
abused…
– Tell a trusted adult. Ask
them for help to resolve
the problem.
– Contact an abuse hot
line or crisis center that
can help.
– Report the abuse to the
police.
The Cycle
of Violence
Community Support
• Who can you turn to for help?
– Parents, Teachers, Trusted Adult
– Student Assistance Team at NAI
– Crisis Centers/Hotlines
– Local Law Enforcement
– Family Counseling
– Support Groups- groups of individuals with
similar problems
Dating Violence
• Dating violence
– Abuse in dating relationships which can be physical,
emotional or sexual
– Gateway Cheerleader
– Mt. Lebanon
• Problem: Teens often see abuse or dominant
treatment as a sign of love and emotion.
• Solution: Recognize that no one deserves to be
abused or controlled.
Signs Indicating Unhealthy Dating
Relationships
• These signs may indicate that an unhealthy
relationship is moving toward abuse:
– Expression of ____________
– Attempts to control a partner’s behaviors
• Cell phones, keeping tabs on what you do
– Use of insults or put-downs to ___________ a
partner
– Use of guilt to manipulate a partner
Remember, healthy relationships involves
kindness, caring and respect, not control and
abuse.
RAPE is a ____________
Motivated by a need to
_____________________,
HUMILIATE, and HARM.
Rapists use sexual Assault as
________________________
to HURT and DOMINATE
others.
53
Date Rape vs. Acquaintance Rape
• Date Rape
– 1 person in a dating relationship forces the
other to participate in a sexual act
• Acquaintance Rape
– Someone known______________ or
considered a friend forces a person to
perform a sexual act
• One of the most _________ types of rape
is acquaintance rape. If you are a female
between the ages of 16 -24, you run the
greatest risk of being raped on a date.
• The use of __________________
increases your risk.
Stages of Date Rape
• Date Rape typically occurs in 3 stages
– Stage 1 - The ___________ (usually the
male) enters the other person's "personal
space" (kissing, hand on breast or thigh, etc.).
– Stage 2 – The ________ (usually the female)
does not assertively stop the behavior, and
the aggressor thinks it is okay.
– Stage 3 - The ____________ gets the couple
to a secluded place where the rape occurs.
Drugs and Rape
• ____________ is involved in as many as
2/3 of all date rape cases in college
students.
• In recent years, drugs are becoming more
common.
– GHB and Rohypnol= D_________________
• Cause blackouts and loss of memory
• Slipped into food and drink
Effects of Rape
• P_______________
– STI’s
– HIV/AIDS
– Scars, Cuts, Bruises
from force
• M_______________
– Feelings of
hopelessness
– Stress and anxiety
– Feeling of unclean
• S______________
– Become more
introverted
– Less likely to trust
others
– May be seen as “less
than whole” by others
Dating Violence Statistics
• 1 in 11 adolescents reports being a victim of
physical dating violence.
• 1 in 4 adolescents reports verbal, physical,
emotional, or sexual violence each year.
• 1 in 5 adolescents reports being a victim of
emotional violence.
• 1 in 5 high school girls has been physically or
sexually abused by a dating partner.
• Dating violence occurs more frequently among
black students (13.9%) than among Hispanic
(9.3%) or white (7.0%) students.
• 72% of eighth and ninth graders reportedly "date";
by the time they are in high school, 54% of
students report dating violence among their peers.
Dating Violence Statistics
• 70% of girls and 52% of boys who are abused report an
injury from a violent relationship.
• 8% of boys and 9% of girls have been to an emergency
room for an injury received from a dating partner.
• Victims of dating violence are not only at increased risk
for injury, they are also more likely to engage in binge
drinking, suicide attempts, physical fights, and currently
sexual activity.
• Rates of drug, alcohol, and tobacco use are more than
twice as high in girls who report physical or sexual dating
violence than in girls who report no violence.