Relationships
Mr. Bower
Health Education
Personal Health Inventory
Self-Inventory: Read each statement below and respond by writing yes, no or sometimes for each
item.
Write a yes only for items that you practice regularly.
I
treat others with respect.
am a team player.
I am a trustworthy individual.
I often use compromise to resolve differences.
I am willing to work at my relationships.
I communicate well with others.
I am a good listener.
I ask questions if I’m not sure what is being said.
I use eye contact when communicating with others.
I am aware of my own body language.
List 10 characteristics that you think are needed for a healthy relationship
I
Rank the characteristics in order of importance, and explain why you ranked each as you did.
Healthy Relationships
Relationship - A ______________________ you have with other people
Relationships allow us to ___________________ to be:
LOVED
SAFE
SECURE
VALUED
RECOGNIZED
All relationships have (+) and (-) effects on your health
Healthy Relationships demonstrate (+) effects on all areas of your health.
Healthy Relationships are based on:
Shared _______________
Shared interests
_____________________
Family Relationships
Immediate Family
Extended Family
How do healthy family relationships enhance all sides of your health Triangle?
Friendship Relationships
Significant
relationship between two people that is based on caring, trust and consideration
Friendships contribute to enhancing your health by:
Sharing
similar values (M/E and Social)
Share hobbies and interests (Physical, Social, M/E)
Sharing friends (Social and M/E)
Positively influencing self-esteem and self-concept (M/E)
Helping to resist negative influences (Physical, M/E, Social)
Friend
or Acquaintance?
relationship less intimate than friendship
Not as much caring, trust or consideration
Talk to less, do not share same information, do not turn to in time of need.
As teens, we see all people as a friend, however, is that true?
Questions to Consider
Do you have more friends or acquaintances? Why?
What causes you to call someone a friend or acquaintance?
Acquaintance-
Community Relationships
Citizenship- The way you conduct yourself as a member of the community
Work together to promote the safety and well-being of the entire community
Community Watch
Donation Drives
Volunteer Programs
Obey laws
Food Bank
Golden Rule
Your Many Roles
Role: the part you play in a relationship
OBVIOUS Roles
Ex. Mow Lawn====Employee
Roles help our relationships move smoothly by guiding our behaviors.
Your role in a relationship will define your actions
Roles also help us to understand the behaviors of others.
When both have roles, you know the roles and expected behaviors of others.
What roles do you play in a given week?
What are the expected behaviors in each role?
Which roles are OBVIOUS?
Which are NOT OBVIOUS?
Building Healthy Relationships & Communication
The 4 C’s to Building Healthy Relationships
For a relationship to succeed and be healthy, the people involved need certain skills.
4 C’s
C________________
C________________
C________________
C________________
Communication - The way you ____________________ messages from others
What are some ways we communicate?
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
Cooperation- Working with _______________________ a goal
Relationship=Common goal=Cooperation
Compromise- _______________ up something so that all can reach a satisfying solution
WIN-WIN SITUATION
Involves a “________________” which can strengthen relationships
All must be satisfied with the solution

Do not give up your values or beliefs to compromise on a situation
What character traits would you look for in a relationship?
Character in Relationships
There are 6 major character traits present in all HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
_______________________
Respect
Responsibility
Fairness
_____________________
Citizenship
Character Assignment
Think about a relationship situation where you had the opportunity to demonstrate good character
traits.
For each character trait we discussed, write a brief paragraph (similar to the previous slides) describing
the situation and your response.
What would have happened to your relationship if you had done something different (opposite)?
Communication
COMMUNICATION: a process through which you send messages to and receive messages from
others
Effective communication is a 2 way street
There are 3 basic skills necessary for effective communication
1. __________________
2. Listening
3. _________________
3 Communication Styles
Passive (“Mrs. Go Along”)
Inability or unwillingness to express thoughts/opinions
Do not stand up for their beliefs
Aggressive (“Mr. Pushy”)
Always try to get their way
Use bullying and intimidation
Assertive (“Mr. and Mrs. Stand Up”)
Express thoughts and feeling without hurting others
However, they respect the thoughts of others
Speaking Skills
Good Speaking Skills
Allows us to express our _________________________
Involves clearly saying what you mean
Tips:
Watch your tone and pitch. (Changes message)
Clearly state what you mean.

“I” vs. “You” messages
I-messages simply state a problem, without blaming someone for it.
This makes it easier for the other side to help solve the problem, without having to admit that they
were wrong.
Ex. "I felt let down," rather than "You broke your promise"
How to construct and “I” sentence
I feel _________________________________ (say your feeling)
when you _____________________________ (describe the action)
because _______________________________ (say why the action connects to your feeling)
Listening Skills
Hearing is not listening!!!
Active Listening- Listening while involving yourself in the conversation
The average listener retains and understands about 30% of what he/ she hears
Paying careful attention without judging or interrupting
80% of our waking lives are spent hearing.
Techniques for Active Listening
Restating- Restate or summarize what the other person said
Clarifying- Ask questions to show your attention
Encouragement- Provide statement/gestures to encourage more conversation
“I see”, “Un-Huh”, Head Nod
Empathy- Try to understand their feelings
Put yourself in their shoes
Body Language Skills
Body Language = Non-Verbal Communication
The message you send to others based on the way your body looks.
Eye contact
Posture
Gestures
Behaviors
As much as 65% of face - face communication is non - verbal
Technological Advances
Cell Phones, E-mail, Text Messaging, Internet , Chat rooms
Questions to Debate
Has the advancement of technology improved or hurt the communication skills of today’s youth?
Is e-mail an effective method of handling relationship issues? How about texting?
Should teens be permitted to use online chat rooms or blogs?
Alright, So how do I start/maintain a conversation with a person I like?
Say “Hello” and _________________yourself
Learn about the persons interests/ Find Commonalities
Talk about things you both can discuss
Surrounding, School, Likes/Dislikes, Hypothetical
Listen to the other persons responses
Make “______________” but do not stare
Use previously taught skills
Focus on ____________, not self
Stay positive
Avoid controversy (religion, politics, ect..)
Examples:
You look really nice, where did you get….(item)
Have you seen any movie lately, what did you think?
What kind of music/TV/activities do you like?
What do you normally do for fun?
Have you ever (activity) ….?
Do you like sports (other topic)?
Have you ever been to (Place)?
Constructive Feedback
No one is perfect!
Sometimes, people do things that you do not appreciate.
Ex. Make you late for a movie
Ex. Name calling or blaming.
Constructive Feedback- non-hostile comments that __________________ and encourages
improvement
TIPS: “I” Messages, Tone, Body
Feedback Sandwich
When giving Constructive Feedback, use this method to help communication with others.
Step 1 (+)- Give compliment
Step 2- Inform person of the problem in a non-threatening way
Step 3 (+) - Offer steps for improvement
PEER PRESSURE: the _______________ people your own age may have over you
MANIPULATION: a ____________ and dishonest way to control or influence others
A person who manipulates others does so to get what he/ she wants without respect for the well- being
if the other person
Types of Manipulation include
Mocking or teasing, Bargaining, Bribing, Making threats, Using blackmail, Using guilt trips
Responding to Negative Peer Pressure
Be Assertive!
THE PASSIVE WAY: giving up, giving in, or backing down without standing up for your own rights
May lead to Bullying
Dealing with Bullying
Bullying IS a BIG Deal
BULLYING: when a person is picked on over and over again by an individual or group with more
power
Could be physical strength or social standing
What are the 2 main reasons people are bullied?
______________: Clothes they wear, haircut, etc.
______________:The way someone acts, race, religion, sexuality
Bullies Attack Physically - Shoving, tripping, punching, etc.
Bullies Attack Psychologically - Verbal insults, labeling, name calling, etc
One of the MOST painful aspects of Bullying is its ________________________
Studies show that people who are abused by their peers are at risk for mental health problems
Depression,
Anxiety
People who are bullied may also develop physical illness Stomach pains, extreme stress levels, etc.
Bullies are at risk for developing problems as well
Often
leads to more violent behavior as the bully grows up
many as 25% of elementary school bullies have a criminal record by the time they are 30 years old
May end up being rejected by their peers
Do not do as well in school
Often to not have the career or relationship success that other people enjoy
Who Bullies?
Both boys and girls can be bullies
May be outgoing and aggressive
May try to manipulate in subtle, deceptive ways
Like to dominate others
Have often been bullied in the past themselves
Often have poor social skills and poor social judgment
People who are insecure with themselves
Put others down to make themselves feel more interesting or powerful
Some have personality disorders
As
What Can You Do About Bullying?
When to tell an adult
Younger kids should ALWAYS tell an adult
Teens should tell an adult if there have been threats of physical danger or harm
Many teens have died when threats, and attacks were unreported and the silence gave the bully an “ok”
to become more and more violent
Ignore the Bully and Walk Away
_______ a coward’s response
Can be harder than losing your temper
You are telling the bully that you just don’t care
The bully will likely get bored with trying to bother you
Walk TALL and hold your head HIGH
Hold the Anger
Anger is the response the bully is looking to get from you
Bullies want to know that they have control over you
Don’t Get Physical
Do
NOT use physical force
You cannot be sure how the bully will respond
Talk About It
Guidance Counselor, Teacher, or Friend
Good outlet for fears and frustrations
Find Your True Friends
Find one or two good friends you can confide in that the bully has hurt your feelings
Tell those friends about the truth of the rumors the bully may be starting about you
Dating Relationships
Important to remember that the teen years are a time of trying different relationships and roles
Breaking up, making up, and breaking up again can be painful, but it is part of a process of becoming
emotionally mature
Honesty and open communication are essential
Going out in Groups
Good way to ease into dating
Less responsibility for keeping the conversation going
Less likely to feel self- conscious
Being less nervous allows you to have a better time and be yourself more easily
Some teens choose not to date at all due to other interests, commitments, or not emotionally ready
Relationship Violence
Where Violence Occurs
Violence can occur in any relationship
Family Violence - Spousal Abuse- abuse of wife/husband
Child Abuse- abuse of child
Neglect- failure to provide for a child’s physical/emotional needs
Dating
Violence
any forced sexual activity that is unwanted
Date Abuse- mental, emotional, physical abuse of a BF/GF
Rape-
Community Violence
Personal
Assault- unlawful attack with the intent to harm
Homicide- willful killing of another person
Gang Related
What is abuse?
Physical- ___________
Punching, Kicking, Pushing, Biting, Shaking, Use of Weapons
Emotional- attacking a person’s _______________
Putdowns, Shouting/Screaming, Name calling, and Threats of other violence
Sexual- sexual contact ___________________
Touching, Gestures, Speaking, Intercourse
Signs of Abuse
Any physical harm
Controlling Dress, Friends, What you say
Humiliation
Puts you down, then tells you “I love you”
Threats
Especially
if you want to leave relationship
Twists the truth
Wants
you to feel at fault
Keeps track of you
Jealousy/Anger when you are around others
Cycle of Abuse
Honeymoon Stage- Both people are happy in relationship
Tension Phase- Tension build between people, abusive person gets frustrated with other.
Abuse Stage- Shortest stage / Most harmful
This
stage is based on one specific incident that leads to an explosion of anger.
Abuser calms and tries to make up for abuse by returning to honeymoon phase
How YOU can Avoid Violence
___________- Become aware of the acts that are abusive
The Best way to protect yourself is to become aware.
__________ - If anyone tries to abuse you, be assertive and stand up for yourself.
Report- If treated in an abusive manner, get away and tell someone ASAP.
Report
abuse of others.
Breaking the Cycle
You can help break the cycle of abuse. If you or someone you know is being abused…
Tell a ______________. Ask them for help to resolve the problem.
Contact an abuse ____________ or crisis center that can help.
Report the abuse to the police.
Community Support
Who can you turn to for help?
Parents, Teachers, Trusted Adult
Student Assistance Team at NAI
Crisis Centers/Hotlines
Local Law Enforcement
Family Counseling
Support Groups- groups of individuals with similar problems
Find Local Help
Using the following key words and the Yellow pages, look for community help in your area.
Key Words: (Pennsylvania)
Counseling,
Child
Abuse,
Intervention,
Social Workers,
Domestic Abuse,
Human Service Organization,
Social and Human Service Organization
Crisis
Homework Criteria
Use the Yellow Pages and/or Internet to identify 10 community resources for Relationship Violence
Minimum of 5 resources must be local (Pennsylvania)
Identify
the following for each resource
Name of Organization
Phone Number
Hotline Number
Website (if applicable)
Dating Violence
Abuse in dating relationships which can be _________________, __________or ___________
Problem: Teens often see abuse or dominant treatment as a sign of ___________and emotion.
Solution: Recognize that no one deserves to be abused or controlled.
Signs Indicating Unhealthy Dating Relationships
These signs may indicate that an unhealthy relationship is moving toward abuse:
Expression of _________________
Attempts to control a partner’s behaviors
_______________, keeping tabs on what you do
Use of insults or put-downs to manipulate a partner
Use of ___________ to manipulate a partner
Remember, healthy relationships involves kindness, caring and respect, not control and abuse.
Date Rape vs. Acquaintance Rape
____________- 1 person in a dating relationship forces the other to participate in a sexual act
___________- Someone known casually or considered a friend forces a person to perform a sexual act
Stages of Date Rape
Date Rape typically occurs in 3 stages
Stage 1 - The aggressor (usually the male) enters the other person's "personal space" (kissing, hand on
breast or thigh, etc.).
Stage 2 - The partner (usually the female) does not assertively stop the behavior, and the aggressor
thinks it is okay.
Stage 3 - The aggressor gets the couple to a secluded place where the rape occurs.
Drugs and Rape
Alcohol is involved in as many as 2/3 of all date rape cases in college students.
In recent years, drugs are becoming more common.
GHB and Rohypnol= Date Rape Drugs
Cause blackouts and loss of memory
Slipped into food and drink
Effects of Rape
____________________
STI’s
HIV/AIDS
Scars, Cuts, Bruises from force
______________________
Feelings
of hopelessness
and anxiety
Feeling of unclean
Stress
Dating Violence Statistics
1 in 11 adolescents reports being a victim of physical dating violence CDC 2006.
1 in 4 adolescents reports verbal, physical, emotional, or sexual violence each year (Foshee et al. 1996;
Avery-Leaf et al. 1997).
1 in 5 adolescents reports being a victim of emotional violence (Halpern et al. 2001).
1 in 5 high school girls has been physically or sexually abused by a dating partner (Silverman et al.
2001).
Dating violence occurs more frequently among black students (13.9%) than among Hispanic (9.3%) or
white (7.0%) students CDC 2006.
72% of eighth and ninth graders reportedly "date" (Foshee et al. 1996); by the time they are in high
school, 54% of students report dating violence among their peers (Jafe et al. 1992).
Dating Violence Statistics
70% of girls and 52% of boys who are abused report an injury from a violent relationship. (Foshee
1996).
8% of boys and 9% of girls have been to an emergency room for an injury received from a dating
partner (Foshee 1996).
Victims of dating violence are not only at increased risk for injury, they are also more likely to engage
in binge drinking, suicide attempts, physical fights, and currently sexual activity CDC 2006.
Rates of drug, alcohol, and tobacco use are more than twice as high in girls who report physical or
sexual dating violence than in girls who report no violence (Plichta 1996).
Dating Precautions
Know your date more than casually
Similar age dates
Assertively set boundaries
Avoid being alone
Do not use drugs
Watch food and drink. Get them for yourself.
Resources
Kids Health (Abusive Relationships)
Kids Health (Abuse)
T.E.A.R
www.cdc.gov