Changing Beliefs
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1886 - Freud began therapeutic practice and
research in Vienna.
1911 - Alfred Adler
1913 - Carl Jung
1942 - Carl Rogers
1951 The seminal work of Gestalt Therapy is
published Fritz Perls
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1952 - The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual
of Mental Disorders (DSM)
1953 - B.F. Skinner
1954 - Abraham Maslow
1957 - Albert Ellis
1967 - Aaron Beck
1968 - DSM II published
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1930 to 1963
1929 to 1932 - Three marital clinics opened;
they were service and education oriented, and
saw mostly individuals
The closest thing to theory was what was
borrowed from psychoanalytic - interlocking
neurosis
1931 the first marital therapy paper was
published
Theory was marginalized due to a lack of brilliant
theorists, and a lack of distinction from
individual analysis
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1931 to 1966
Mostly individual sessions, but some
conjoint; still treated like seeing two
individual clients in the same room though
Some started to downplay the role of the
therapist
Family was outshining couples work, and the
couple techniques weren't innovative or
particularly effective
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1963 to 1985
Family therapy overpowers couples, even
though a number of big name people really
mostly saw couples
Jackson- Coined concepts like quid pro quo,
homeostasis, and double bind for conjoint
therapy
Satir - Coined naming roles members played,
fostered self-esteem and actualization, and
saw the therapist as a nurturing teacher
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Bowen - Multigenerational theory approach, with
differentiation, triangulation, and projection
processes, with the therapist as an anxietylowering coach - societal projection process was
the forerunner of our modern awareness of
cultural differences
Haley - Power and control (or love and
connection) were key. Avoided insight, emotional
catharsis, conscious power plays. Saw system as
more, and more important, than the sum of the
parts
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1986 to present
New Theories were tried and refined, like
Behavioral Marital Therapy, Emotionally Focused
Therapy, and Insight-Oriented Marital Therapy.
Couples therapy was used to treat depression,
anxiety, and alcoholism.
Efforts were focused on preventing couples
problems with programs like PREP
Feminism, Multiculturalism, and Post-Modernism
impacted the field
Eclectic integration, brief therapy, and sex
therapy ideas were incorporated as well into our
work.
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As early as 1960, Gurin, Veroff, and Feld
found that over 40% of all people seeking
psychological help viewed the nature of their
problem as marital.
Manus argued in 1966 that couples
counseling was a “technique in search of a
theory” with little conceptual clarity in
evidence (Jacobson & Gurman, 1995).
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Olson (1970), the field’s first chronicler,
referred to marital therapy as a “youngster”
which had “not yet developed a solid
theoretical base nor tested its major
assumptions and principles.”
Six years later he wrote, the field was “no
longer in its infancy” and was “showing signs
of maturing,” although it “appeared like an
adolescent, full of undirected energy.”
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1970’s – 1980’s
◦ Family counseling “killed marriage counseling” and
did not see it as independent, different, or
important.
◦ This time period was seen as “family therapy’s
golden age.”
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Even in the early 1980’s couples counseling
struggled to have a place.
Haley (1984) put it, “marriage counseling did
not seem relevant to the developing family
therapy field.”
It was seen that marriage counselors adopted
the ideas of other therapies rather than
developing their own.
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Going back to the mid 1960’s to mid 1980’s
only a few new models appeared and only a
handful of important texts appeared.
By the mid-1980’s, couple therapy had
reasserted its existence and established what
would become more sustained theory
development and empirical research.
1986 was the beginning of couple therapy’s
fourth and current phase.
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1940’s only 5% of marriage counseling met
conjointly
1950’s rose to 9%
1960’s increased to 15%
Not until 1970’s did conjoint therapy become
the predominant technique of couples
counseling.
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1965 George Bach published “the intimate
enemy” which was a new approach to
couples’ therapy.
Problem was that people needed to air their
anger rather than suppress it
Expressing resentments would be a catharsis
that would clear the air
Partners took turns airing their resentments
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We now know that there is no catharsis effect
in voicing anger and that Back’s procedure
only built resentment.
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Quid Pro Quo
◦ A good relationship is based on reciprocating
positive behaviors and that a bad marriage is
caused by a breakdown of this contract.
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Contingency contracting “give to get”
◦ Each person would identify what behaviors they
wanted to get from the other
◦ Counselor would help couple to write a contract for
the exchange of desired behaviors.
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1977 Murstein found that a reciprocity
concept was a hallmark of an ailing
relationship…not a happy one.
People became “affective accountants” when a
relationship wasn’t working well.
◦ “I did this for her, and she never reciprocated.”
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When the relationship goes well, they don’t
think of this contingency.
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Goal was to have couple identify their
problem and them help resolve them.
Therapist was seen as “super problem-solver”
Could start anywhere and teach a specific set
of relationship skills
Belief was that when specific skills were
taught all conflicts would be solved.
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Focus on resolution of conflict is misguided.
Gottman’s research revealed that most
conflict (69%) in relationships is perpetual.
◦ Based on lasting differences in personalities and
needs.
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Couples need to dialogue about perpetual
issues or live in a state of ‘gridlock’
Goal is to manage conflicts rather than
resolve them.
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Focus on teaching skills
System therapists taught:
◦ Avoiding mindreading, establishing clear feedback
loops, being able to meta-communicate about
double binding messages.
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Rogerian and behavior therapists taught:
◦ Active listening to one another
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If you teach skills, these are what need to be
taught.
In happy, lasting relationships:
The approach toward conflict is gentle.
Partners soften the way they bring up an issue
Partners accept influence from one another
Relationships have a 5:1 ratio of positive to
negative affect during conflict
◦ Consistently communicate acceptance of one
another
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In happy, lasting relationships:
◦ They keep their level of physiological arousal low
◦ They pre-empt negativity in the interaction
◦ They repair the interaction and de-escalate if it
does become negative
◦ They move gently toward compromise
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In relationships that are ailing and failing:
◦ There is either an escalation of negative affect,
◦ a lack of positive affect,
◦ or a state of emotional disengagement
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Assumed all conflicts were alike
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Some conflicts are real deal-breakers
◦ These conflicts contain ‘hidden agenda’
◦ Partners have the same argument over and over
◦ Positions are embedded with deep personal
meaning so that compromise seems completely
unthinkable
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Need to help couples talk about deeper
meaning
◦ Freedom, power, love, and justice
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1970s therapy had a strong behavioral and
cognitive base.
Therapist was the rational and calm one.
Couple was viewed as emotional and out of
control.
Following Bowen’s ideas, our job was to help
the couple control their feelings.
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Bowen believed that the partners would
control their emotion using reason.
The counselor was assisting each partner’s
cerebral cortex in gaining dominance over the
primitive limbic system.
It was emotion versus reason, and reason
should win.
Goal was supporting the process of evolution.
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Bowen’s views about the brain and emotion
versus reason are wrong.
In the brain there is an integration of emotion
and reason
Without emotion, problems do not get solved
very well.
Emotion, prioritizing figure from ground, and
the intuitive ‘sense of the matter’ are
essential in problem solving.
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People are not rational decision makers.
Expressing emotion does not mean being
‘out of control’.
Emotion is central to the understanding and
treatment of couples’ relationships.
Gottman’s research shows that the nature of
emotional interaction predicts what happens
to a relationship.
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Affect is not the problem; it is central for
understanding, compassion, and change.
We need to become the expert on emotion,
and on helping couples establish emotional
connection.
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Bowen believed the goal was to help partners
become less ‘enmeshed’ and more
‘differentiated.’
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Dependency is now legitimate in
relationships.
Based on attachment theory, the partners are
no longer seen as either dependent or
independent.
Dependency is seen as either effective or
ineffective.
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Believed that couples needed to reduce
negative affect and build positive affect.
Goal of therapy was to help couples schedule
‘love days’ designed to increase positive
behavior between partners.
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Building positive affect both during conflict
and in everyday interaction is essential to
ensure lasting change.
‘Love days’ didn’t change positive affect
during conflict.
To increase positive affect, need to focus on
improving both the couple’s friendship and
secure attachment.
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Assumed that if we dealt with conflict, the
positive affect systems would be activated
automatically.
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Positive affect systems must be build and
maintained intentionally as part of therapy
To build positive affect and secure
attachment, couples need to work on
◦ turning toward bids for emotional connection,
◦ building emotional intimacy, and
◦ building positive affect systems such as
 courtship, romance, lust, sex,
 play, fun, and adventure
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Growing awareness that good friendship,
positive affect systems, and constructive
conflict need to be supplemented by building
the couple’s shared meaning system.
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Couples need to identify and communicate
◦ their sense of purpose,
◦ the meaning of how they move through time
together,
◦ their priorities and values,
◦ what they hold to be sacred
◦ their goals and missions, ethics, morality,
◦ philosophy of life and religion
◦ their legacy from their families and culture
 Goal is to build an existential base to their lives