English 8
Harmony Middle School
Revision

 You have been asked to revise your writing.
 Writing can best be revised when we have specific
goals that we are looking for. That helps us go from
looking at the whole piece, and not knowing where
to start, to having some specific direction.
 The following are some of the mini-lessons you
received. You can draw from that material for your
goals.
What have we learned
this year?

 Let’s take a minute to think through all the writing
skills you have been presented with.
 Make a list of these in your notebook.
Good writers

 Vary sentence structure
 Use short, simple sentences
 Use commas and semi-colons to create
complex sentences
 Use parenthetical asides
 Use dashes when appropriate
Make the writing come alive for your reader!
Good writers

 Include internal dialogue with their characters
 Internal dialogue reflects what characters are
really thinking and feeling
 Can show disagreement to what they say out
loud
 Help us as readers feel like we are
experiencing the same thing
Good Writers

 Use dashes and ellipses, especially in dialogue, to
create voice
 Dashes indicate interruption
 Ellipses indicate a soft pause, or trailing off
Good writers

 Create external dialogue between characters
 Moves the story forward
 Adds to character
 Adds to plot
As good writers, we avoid “cereal” conversations.
Good writers

 Balance direct / indirect characterization
 Readers like to discover things about
characters as much as they like to be told.
 Experiment with converting your direct
characterization (“She was tall”) to indirect (“I had to
look up to make eye contact.”)
Good writers

 Use good word choice
 It’s not always about the big words . . . It is
about using words that catch our attention.
 Example: describing a coconut as “stubborn”
 Avoid words that are generic and common,
like things, good, or like
Good writers

 Layer conflict
 Characters are working out an internal
conflict as well as an external conflict
 Use internal dialogue to discuss this internal
conflict
 Adds depth to your writing
Good writers

 Try to have a cohesive ending to their story
 Circular
 Epiphany
 Resolution
Good Writers

 Get details from the world around them
 Adopt details about characters from the
people you know
Steal details of things that have happened to
you to make your interactions seem real
Good Writers

 Support their ideas with facts and evidence
 You help make your point just by the
information that you select
 You can’t just repeat the information . . . . You
have to analyze it!
So what?

 As you are choosing your piece to revise, you also
need to pick goals to approach within your writing.
 You should have 2. If you want a goal that isn’t on
the list we just presented, you must first ask us for
permission.
Revision

 Take your writing piece and start making changes
according to your two goals . . . As well as anything
else you see.
 To recap, you can:
 Conference with others
 Google Share
 Sloppy Copy – see next page
Example of “Sloppy
Copy”
