Personal Statement
Writing
9/21-9/22
Warm Up
What do you think college
admissions officers are looking for
when they read student essays?
What might they want to read?
What can you or a student offer in
a personal statement? In other
words, what would you want to
WHAT DO COLLEGES WANT?
COLLEGES USE THREE GENERAL
TYPES OF QUESTIONS:
1. WHO ARE YOU?
2. WHY US?
3. HOW DO YOU THINK?
FOR THE PURPOSES OF TODAY’S LESSON
WE WILL FOCUS ON
THE, “WHO ARE YOU?”
SO LET’S DO SOME
PERSONAL
INVENTORY!
NARRATIVE WRITING
 To
write a narrative essay, you’ll need to
tell a story in such a way that the
audience learns a lesson or gains insight
 To write a descriptive essay, you’ll need
to describe a person, object, or even so
vividly that the reader feels like he/she
could reach out and touch it.
TIPS

Tell a story about a moment or event that means a lot to you—it will make
it easier for you to tell the story in an interesting way!

GET RIGHT TO THE ACTION! Avoid long intros and lengthy descriptions—esp.
at the beginning of your narrative.

Make sure your story has a point! Describe what you learned from this
experience.

USE ALL FIVE SENSES
Personal Statements
Cont’d
9/23-9/24
WHEN YOU ARE DONE WITH YOUR QUIZ
Take out a
sheet of paper
and something
to write with. 
FOR THE NEXT 25 MINUTES:
RESPOND TO THE FOLLOWING PROMPT:
“Tell us a story from your life,
describing an experience that
either demonstrated your
character or helped to shape
it.”
NOW,
Switch
responses with the person
sitting next to you
ANNOTATE with any prior
knowledge you have about
annotating
PROVIDE FEEDBACK
ANNOTATING

Why annotate?

Slows down the reader in order to
deepen understanding

We learn about reading as a process

Changes comprehension

Promotes active reading

Helps improve writing!
ANNOTATING IS NOT HIGHLIGHTING
Annotations in Grade 12







Underline the major points.
Circle keywords or phrases that are confusing or unknown to you.
Use a question mark (?) for questions that you have during the reading. Be sure
to write your question.
Use an exclamation mark (!) for things that surprise you, and briefly note what it
was that caught your attention.
Draw an arrow (↵) when you make a connection to something inside the text, or to
an idea or experience outside the text. Briefly note your connections.
Mark EX when the author provides an example.
Numerate arguments, important ideas, or key details and write words or
phrases that restate them.
CATEGORIES OF ANNOTATING
Making predictions


Asking questions

Stating opinions
Study of the author’s craft



Making connections
Reflecting on content or the reading process
The Introduction
9/29-9/30
Your essay/statement

MUST grab the reader’s attention!
 Quote/Dialogue

AVOID introduction that is too general (“From the dawn
of history until the present day, mankind has produced
music…”) or awkwardly rephrases the question (“If I
were to describe a person who is important to me, I
would pick…”)

In an academic essay, the intro is usually an entire
paragraph, but in a short college essay, the
introduction will only be a sentence or two.
Examples of introductions:


The Basic Intro

“Among all the fictional characters that have influenced me, the one that has
had the greatest effect on my life is Batman.”

The basic intro simply introduces essay in a logical way. The intro is often based
on the question. The basic intro sets a straightforward tone, so the essay that
follows this type of intro is often short, sweet, and to the point.
The Narrative Intro

“As I raced down the street that hot August day, I saw it rising in the distance.”

The narrative intro grabs the reader and pulls them in right into your story. It can
begin telling the story at the beginning, middle, or end. Called MEDIAS RES, this
technique for introducing a story, has made for compelling reading.
Tips:

End with why the event is particularly important to you today before you
go into the description

SHOW, DON’T TELL

DON’T simply state a fact to get an idea across, such as, “I like to surround
myself with people with a variety of backgrounds and interests.”

DO include specific details, examples, reasons and so on to develop your ideas.
For the example above, describe a situation when you were surrounded by
various types of people. What were you doing? Whom did you talk with? What
did you take away from the experience?
BEGIN YOUR INTROS
TAKE
OUT A SHEET OF PAPER AND
BEGIN WRITING YOUR
INTRODUCTIONS.
DON’T WORRY ABOUT TIME; WE
WILL CONTINUE NEXT CLASS.
Sample College Essay 10/01-10/02

Read the sample essay
 WHEN

YOU ARE DONE:
PEER REVIEW THE ESSAY
 WHAT
DO YOU LIKE ABOUT THE PASSAGE? JOT DOWN
NOTES!
 HIGHLIGHT
 QUESTION
THE BEST LINE IN THE ESSAY SO FAR
FLOODWRITE ALL THE QUESTIONS YOU
CAN THINK OF, BETWEEN THE LINES, AS THEY OCCUR
TO YOU
Body Paragraphs
10/05-10/06
Now that you’ve started your intros,
it’s time to move onto:

BODY PARAGRAPHS:
 FOCUS
ON THE ONE MOMENT
 IMAGERY,
IMAGERY, IMAGERY!!!
 TECHNIQUE
IN THE MOMENT WRITING—MAKE US
FEEL LIKE WE ARE THERE WITH YOU
 STAY
ON THE TOPIC AT HAND
 SHOW,
 TRY
DON’T TELL
TO USE DIALOGUE
 MAKE
THE READER SEE THE IMPORTANCE THROUGH
YOUR WRITING
PRACTICE!
REWRITE THE FOLLOWING STORY BY BEING MORE
SPECIFIC.
They went to Los Angeles to see his
parents.
Conclusions
10/13-10/16
TIPS TO MAKE CONCLUSIONS SHINE

EMPHASIZE YOUR MAIN IDEA, BUT NOT BY RESTATING A PREVIOUS REMARK

CONNECT BACK TO INTRO

USE THE SAME TONE THROUGHOUT YOUR ESSAY

LEAVE THE READER WITH SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT
A GOOD CONCLUSION WILL FLOW NATURALLY FROM THE
REST OF YOUR ESSAY. IT SHOULD PROVIDE A SENSE OF
COMPLETION. YOUR CONCLUSION CAN BE A PLACE TO
BROADEN THE THEME YOU HAVE EXPLORED.
DO NOT
 CONTRADICT
ESSAY
 INTRODUCE
 USE
THE MAIN IDEA OF YOUR
NEW INFORMATION
CLICHES (ANYWHERE IN YOUR ESSAY)
 MAKE
YOUR CONCLUSION TOO LONG
 SUMMARIZE
YOUR ESSAY
DONE!
NOW THAT YOU’VE FINISHED YOUR ESSAY,
YOU SHOULD REVISIT YOUR INTRODUCTION.
IF YOU HAVEN’T WRITTEN ONE, NOW IS THE
TIME TO DO IT. IF YOU DO HAVE ONE, ASK
YOURSELF IF IT IS ALL YOU WANT IT TO BE.
DOES IT FLOW WITH THE REST OF THE ESSAY?