Facilitating, Opening, and Closing

The Witnesser of patterns (filtered through theory)
How one member is having difficulty owning up to feelings and maybe intellectualizing
How one member is withdrawn, how another member is fearful, how another member is dominant, how another member avoids conflict, how another member rescues, how another member attacks the leader other members, complains (e.g., I have done all this stuff)
Thus as witness we step back and also squirm loose when a member or members try to hook you into a position (usually happens unconsciously)
Here you need to point this out, explore it, and help other group members disclose and discuss what they are witnessing

Participate in whatever activities the leader(s) implements
For instance, if you ask the group members to sense what so in so is feeling, or if you ask the group to disclose their reactions toward particular member - YOU AS THE
GROUP MEMBER ARE TO REVEAL YOU REACTIONS
WHEN DO YOU SHARE - DEPENDS ON WHAT IS
NEEDED, USUALLY YOU GO FIRST OR LAST, BUT
YOUR DISCLOSURE SHOULD INCLUDE EMPATHY,
UNDERSTANDING, SOME INSIGHT, MAYBE
SOMETHING THE GROUP IS MISSING, OR MAY
OFFER A CHALLENGE TO ONE MEMBER OR A FEW
MEMBERS

Remember there are always exceptions to rules, guidelines, and the practice of applying counselling skills… But the important point is knowing when to apply the exception to the rule!

Member to member communication and promoting network of communication
Begins with simple acknowledgement
Starts with inviting talk - but also cutting off talk
“Thanks”, “alright”, “hear you”, and I am seeing Dawn reactions “Dawn what is coming up for you”?

Begin with making eye contact with group member who is speaking
Afterwards, you continuously scan the room watching and monitoring other group members reactions, verbal, non-verbal
Essentially waiting to draw that member in the conversation you want to teach members to do this as well
And time to time you also return your attention to the member who is talking - what do you notice about them?
Are they reacting to other group members reactions, what aren’t they say?

Leaning forward and peering in
Head nods
Facial expression
Body shifts
Moving chair closer
Any others?

Pacing - not to fast - avoid rapid fire or rattling cage approach
Intuitively feel if people the climate of response
Are quiet members waiting to speak or playing game if I wait long enough I won’t have to
Allow some tolerance for response
Help members to take responsibility for their responses and help them inquire into silent members
Avoid overwhelming one member who is working on a issue - may need to spin off and return (pg. 109 good example)

Purpose: navigate members who indiscriminately share random material, dominate, always speak up first, negative talk, long-winded, or counterproductive sharing
Blocking
CHALLENGE FOR THERAPIST
Fear of hurting the other or being attacked in return

1. Stop members from rambling too long - give some latitude but watch other group members (are they tuning out)
2. Do not use a critical voice
3. Explain why you are stopping them - ask them if they are aware and in the future ask them to be more specific, possibly request a feeling or help this type of group member to lead with a feeling
4. Make it subtle and if the future (consider that rambling may be a defines mechanism)

Shifting focus to another member
In shifting focus to other member - look for extreme reactions… - “Jim may I stop you for a moment I noticed Sharon…”
Prompt other group members to do the same

Being Aware Time
Blocking / redirecting away from deep issue exploration with time is not suffice
This makes certain that member will be heard
Also make note of whether this is a pattern of particular members

Attacking and Arguing are not productive to group
This is not to say that conflict is wanted or gritty interpersonal exchanges - but put downs and slighted arguments are not therapy (caveat here)
Get members to reflect back to each other what they heard the other say - you may even have members change roles or take other perspective

Imperative to stop rescuing - bring it to the members awareness
Ask the group if they too can see the member rescuing when appropriate explore the dynamics of rescuing
Remember rescuing is smoothing over feelings (a pattern born in childhood or during life at some point)
Most neophytes will not be able to discern rescuing from helping - especially the one rescuing or the member who is asking to be rescued

Quiet members usually desire to participate but do not know the appropriate time to do so - some guidelines
1.
Sense when it’s appropriate - develop trust, dig a bit, learn what the resistance might be (there needs to be some readiness)
2.
Don’t draw out uncommitted members (may speak to them personally after group)
3.
This doesn’t mean we don’t pay attention nor does it mean we exclude them, we still make the invitation - remember though group leader don’t support unhealthy interpersonal patterns - at some point other measures may need to be taken
4.
Be clear that you notice there quietness and at least explore to see if their comfortable and what they are observing

When flow of group becomes lost in irrelevant topics group leaders need to take control before irrelevance takes everyone out of the moment
Group leaders bring attention to loss focus let’s get back to Mario’s predicament or Jan a few minutes ago you were talking about hurt feelings - can you explore that a bit more
Or by the idle chatter I am wondering if John’s issue is complete as least for today

Before shifting focus, or going for break, or shifting to different members - group leader summarize themes and territory of where group has been
This helps to internalize learning, recognize and cement growth (know your process)
Also leaders want group members to summarize themes themselves - take control of their own process

Crying often is an indicator that the topic is tapping into a deep reservoir of emotion
We don’t stop someone from crying - instead we help the client go into the emotion and get in touch with what is causing the tears
Do rush member, give them time to be in the emotion, let them know that they don’t need to feel guilty, silly, let them know feelings are important for the group to experience
After the emotion has passed - encouraged to talk about what tears are saying, put tears into words
Don’t pull out box of kleenex if it is going to distract member from exploring or it will stop the catharsis
Allow moment to be fully experienced, watch for members who are triggered often they need to explore this trigger… Member to member empathic response

Watch for members who have been touched - get them to share how they are feeling, explore similarities, differences
They may have issues that need to be worked on because of it, thus finish with primary member (ask) “Jane is there anything else”.
Afterward explore this and then go back to Jane, does anyone else after need to process.
Its important that “Empathy” be then drawn from all members, watch and solicit others reactions

Use names when addressing individual member
When speaking about group don’t use them, or they, but you folks, us in the room
Pg. 116, “Some of you are nodding your heads. I wonder whether any of you would like to share your experiences”

Early in group there maybe longer periods of silence - this is okay, roll with it, however, sometimes silence can be unproductive.
Unproductive silence - this may happen when group members are bored, confused, scared, or afraid to talk.
Summarize what has happened, if the group leader is responsible for the confusion apologize and get group members to respond to this, ask them what they see is happening, address tension - watch for inviting in-group transference that can destroy group if its about distorted fear.
Also ask members to report what silence is saying
Talk about how to combat boredom

Group members are talking quietly about what is occurring
Silence after emotional catharsis
Getting in touch with the resonance or felt sense in the room
Exploring emotions in the body
Often leader may encourage getting in touch with inner silence and see what emotions arise
Staying in silence (depending on where in group / intuitively know where everyone is at) allow silence as long as necessary