Wellbeing in Children in Separated
Families: Past and Present Research
Jan Pryor
Roy McKenzie Centre for the Study of Families
Victoria University
Wellington, New Zealand
Presentation for the series “Promoting the
Wellbeing of Children: Bringing all the Evidence Together”
Oxford Centre for Research into Parenting and Children
October 2007
History of the debate about children
and divorce



Early research comparing children from ‘intact’ families
with children from ‘broken’ families found differences in
a range of outcomes.
Pryor & Rodgers concluded in 1998 that on average
children of divorce were at twice the risk of poor
outcomes when compared with those in intact families.
HOWEVER
The majority of children experiencing their parents’
divorce were functioning well.
Media response in 1998:

“Divorce, the great liberator” (Polly Toynbee)

“(This report is) a bizarre retreat from reality.” Daily Mail

Several longitudinal studies around this time suggested
that children’s problems were apparent before the
separation of their parents.
What are the major contributors to poor
outcomes for children of separation?

Inter-parental conflict

Poverty

Parents’ psychological wellbeing

Relationship with nonresident parent

Parenting style
MOST OF THESE FACTORS ARE MEDIATED BY THE ABILITY OF
ADULTS TO PARENT THEIR CHILDREN SATISFACTORILY
Longterm outcomes 1

Laumann-Billings and Emery (2000) pointed out that although children of
divorce generally function well on measures of disorder, they may suffer
ongoing distress as adults - subjective ill-being.

They developed the Painful Feelings About Divorce (PAFD) scale and
compared young adults from intact and divorced families.

Found no difference in depression and anxiety, but differences in distress feelings of loss, wondering if their fathers loved them.

They conclude that father contact after divorce is especially important for
ongoing feelings of distress in otherwise resilient young people.
Reference: Laumann-Billings, L. & Emery, R. (2000)Distress among young adults from divorced
families. Journal of Family Psychology 14 (4) 671-687.
Longterm outcomes 2

Paul Amato assessed outcomes for young
adults who had experienced parental divorce or
highly conflicted parents in childhood.

Reference: Amato, P. (2006): Marital discord, divorce, and children’s
wellbeing: results from a 20-year longitudinal study of two generations. In:
Clarke-Steward & Dunn (eds). Families Count. Effects on Child and
Adolescent Development. Cambridge, Cambridge University Press.
Comparative predictiveness of conflict and divorce (Amato)
Models
Yrs
ed
Psych
well
being
Social
support
Close
Mother
Close
to
father
Marital
discord
Disrupted
relation
ships
Parental
divorce
-.28**
-.28**
-.18
-.22*
-.93***
.29*
.33*
-.31**
-.19*
-.14
-.27**
.24*
.07
.06
High
discord
marriage
Children’s voices and change over time: Young people’s
experiences of family structure change

Ph.D thesis by Andrea Rigg, Victoria University, New Zealand

52 children and adolescents interviewed after parental separation
and 18 months later

9 - 18 years old

Early stage separation (ESG; 1-10 months) and later stage
separation (LSG 14-24 months)

Interviewed and assessed in domains of individual wellbeing and
family dynamics
Individual wellbeing measures:

Self concept (strengths)

Strengths and difficulties Questionnaire

Depression

Locus of control

Reports of feelings (scale developed for the thesis)
Family measures

Family environment scale (cohesion, communication)

Perceptions of parents (positivity and negativity)

Parental conflict
Points of interest from
interviews (1):

All young people would have preferred to have been
told about the separation face to face by both parents at
the same time

Almost all of them were aware the separation was
coming - had seen problems between their parents

49 of the 52 did not know why separation had
happened; all wanted to know
Points of interest from the
interviews (2)
The most negative aspect of the separation was
not seeing enough of their nonresident parent:
“I miss Dad, like, I miss that he isn’t there for all
the little things - tucking me in, reading to me,
tickling me.” (9 year old girl)

“I guess I’d prefer it if Dad wasn’t just a Dad at
Christmas.” (12 year old girl)
Impact of conflict:
“Mum and Dad don’t fight any more. I hated the fighting; it
scared the shit out of me.” (16 year old boy)
“Like, if Mum and Dad stopped putting each other down in
front of us and didn’t put us in the middle then I think I
could deal with things so much better.” (16 year old girl)
What did children say they
needed?

Support from both parents

Time to adjust

Information on the present and the future
“My mind’s working over time. I wish Mum would open up
and tell me what went on. Then I’d know what I was
trying to cope with.” 18 year old.
Coping and resources

A majority either used the internet, or wanted electronic
resources

Strong aversion to counselling, psychologists, therapists

47 of 52 were not offered resources by anyone
Advice to parents:

“Look, don’t be horrible, don’t be mean to
each other, just do what you have to do in
a civil way so that your children don’t get
more upset than they already are.” (15
year old girl)
Changes in wellbeing across time (18
months)
18
16
14
12
10
8
6
4
2
0
ESG
LSG
T1 Self T2 self T1 family T2 family
concept concept cohesion cohesion
Retrospective feelings about
separation at the time
40
35
30
25
Retrospect 1
Retrospect 2
20
15
10
5
0
Sad
Shock
happy
loved
Present feelings about separation,
time 1 and time 2
40
35
30
25
Feelings now T1
Feelings now T2
20
15
10
5
0
Relief
Happy
Sad
Conf
Living Arrangements after parental
separation

“Tender years” doctrine

Primary caretaker view

Default position (for fathers who do have contact) every other
weekend, maybe a day in between

But see Laumann Billings findings
Feelings of loss and distress according to levels of
contact with nonresident parent
25
20
15
Loss
Distress
10
5
0
Low
contact
Default
Weekly
Why do men lose contact with their
children?

Some think it is best for their children

For some the infrequent contact is too painful to maintain

Some do not care enough to stay in contact

Too hard - live too far away, too much conflict with partner, etc

Surprisingly, re-partnering does not reduce contact levels
Children’s voices
“Once we had to do this article on what was the worst thing that ever
happened to you…and I just wrote ‘Dad’ because I never seen
him.” 8 year old boy
“Sometimes I’d go ‘Mam, where’s my Dad?’ and she’d go ‘I don’t know’
cos my Mam doesn’t know either. I wish she did know because
then I’d ask here what he did look like and then if she had his
number I’d take it off her and I’d say ‘Dad send me a photo’ and
hang up.” 8 year old boy.
Levels of contact are changing…

Increased understanding of the importance of fathers in children’
lives generally (Developmental Psychology)

Realisation that fathers matter to children after divorce (Amato
meta-analysis)

Fathers themselves are demanding more contact with children

Presumption of shared responsibility in some countries
What affects levels of contact with
nonresident parents?

The quality of the parental relationship

Geography

Status at birth of the parental relationship

Age at separation

Repartnering appears not to have a major impact on
levels of contact
Recent findings on outcomes for living
arrangements

Fabricious (2003) surveyed 820 college students about experiences of parental
divorce.

Found that the more time they spent with their fathers, the closer and less angry
they felt toward them. This was not related to how close or angry they felt about
their mothers.

Those from continuously intact families were significantly closer to mothers than
fathers, and significantly angrier with fathers than with mothers. HOWEVER:

These differences did not exist for those growing up in separated households who
had spent a lot of time with their fathers.
Reference: Fabricious, W. (2003). Listening to children of divorce: New findings that diverge from
Wallerstein, Lewis, and Blakeslee. Family Relations 52 385-396.
Consequences of undermining
behaviour (Fabricious continued)
Closeness to
Mother
Anger with
mother
Closeness to
father
Anger with
father
Wanted other
parent
involved
.27*
-.24*
.01
-.07
Interfered with
seeing other
parent
-.27*
.51*
-.03
.28*
Criticised other
parent
-.25*
.51*
-.14
.42*
Undermining
behaviours
Is anything worse than divorce?

Walper 2006, in her study of German adolescents, found few differences in
wellbeing in children in stable single, step, and intact families. Those who
ere not thriving were those who had recently experienced a transition
(most often the breakdown of a stepfamily)

Similarly, Ahrons (2007) reported that stepfamily loss was recalled as
especially traumatic for adult children.

Research generally supports the suggestion that multiple transitions are
the most damaging for children.

For some children, their parents’ separation is not top of the list of their
worries - other things like poverty, bullying, etc take precedence.
Conclusions: what helps children of divorce?
(Checklist compiled from several sources)

Being told about divorce, and told early (not left to guess)

Being given an explanation appropriate to their age and
understanding

Having living arrangements discussed with them but not left to
make decisions

Having good support from family and friends (not professionals)

Having ongoing relationships with both parents, with adequate time
with nonresident parent
Conclusions: what helps children of divorce?
(Checklist compiled from several sources)

Minimal conflict between parents

A degree of civility between parents

Time to adjust (‘psychological travelling time’)

Availability of resources electronically

Information on what is likely to happen in future to the family