Why a good marriage works:
Why a good marriage works:
• Difficult for me - personal
• Students remember this more than any other
presentation
• “Thank you – I have never seen what a good
marriage is like”
Symbols of love & the marriage are
important
• The rose
• Rings
The story of the
rose
Rose story
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In our house today..
We met in church…
Parents’ rose bush
1st. Date – Suit of armor – Head on shoulder
Every week … every month … once a month
Daddy, can I get Mommy’s rose?
Sent rose FTD
One son tried it…
Rings
• 10 year ring
• 25 year ring
• 40 year ring – Custom made
– At the Acropolis in Athens Greece
– Rose gold
– 40 pink diamonds
– Ruby for each child
About 50 stones – too heavy
History
• Together every day since we were teenagers
• Her memories are my memories
– Travel - Taj Mahal, Pyramids, Golden Pagota,
Acropolis, Tower of London, Red square, Myan
Pramids of Chetznetsia, Eifel tower, Great wall…
• Movies
Marry someone like yourself
• Homogamy = Like marries like
– Age, Race, Religion, Education social class
attitudes etc.
– Personalities
= similar
• Both quiet
• We never asks for anything – No “To do” lists
• I always spend money on her – never myself
– Clothes - vase
• Heterogamy = Opposites attract
– Wants to be taken care of & want to care for
– Both needy & both dominate doesn’t work
Make the other person feel important
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Good night – love you – I know… love you to
Good morning – how are you feeling?
Waving good-by
How can I help you?
Fight the world, but never each other
Experiences create intimacy and bonding
• Births – 1st. Child – 2nd child – 3rs. child
• Deaths – Parents - sister
• Surgeries – She had
– Breast Cancer – right side – left side
– Tubal legation
– Gaul bladder
– Hysterectomy
– Breast reduction
– Carpel tunnel surgery
– Knee surgery
• My detached retina surgery
Other important items:
• Body & stable personality
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Overweight
Diabetes
Sleep aptnea (trouble breathing)
Depression (chemical)
Knees hurt
Back hurts
Shoulder hurts
Honesty - Never lied
Trust– Red ball
Communication – Santa Ana park
Criticism – Any fool
Other important items:
• Find out what the other person wants and
help them get it.
– Preschool
– Time by themselves or others
• “Go with the flow”
– Willow tree bends and does not break
Dealing with differences
• Accept the other person as they are
– Don’t try to change them
– Exception = Drugs, alcohol, emotional or physical
abuse, anything that reduces your respect for
yourself – just leave
• Messy vs. neat
• T.V. & reading