WELCOME TO
INFLUENCING SKILLS
Anthony Rees
Anthony Rees
• Facilitation, Training and Personal Development Consultant
• BSc (Hons), MBA, MBTI, SDI, Belbin & DISC Accredited
• Fellow Institute of Management Consulting
• 20 years FS / Management Consultancy and client facing roles
• Consultancy and Sales
• Clients include Visa International, BAE Systems, Nokia Siemens,
SmartStream, Odyssey, Wall Street Systems, Motorola, BT, PSD Group,
Hedra, Capita & Capco.
• FS Clients include JPMorgan Chase, Deutsche Bank, ABN, ING, EBRD, BNP
Paribas
What is Influencing?
Successful influencing means
getting a result which meets the
legitimate needs of both sides.
Influencing is not……..
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Forcing others to accept your point of view
Continuously nagging until they agree
Bargaining
Giving in to someone else’s view, even when
you believe that they are morally wrong
• Giving advice
Agenda
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Aristotle art of persuasion
Stakeholder analysis
Trusted Advisor
Trust Equation
Pull / push skills
Influencing Strategies
Aristotle on Persuasion
Ethos, logos, pathos
You
Ethos
Credibility
Self-confidence
Presence
Authority
Message
Logos
Content and benefits
of the message
Your client
Pathos
Your understanding of
and empathy with
your client
Ethos, pathos, logos
We need a minimum amount of each
component, otherwise the client won’t
listen to us
Push and pull
Push
 Talking about facts and targets
 Giving opinions and judgements
 Insisting on a point of view
 Negating or going against the
other’s perceptions
Pull
 Asking about values, principles,
priorities and needs
 Interest in the other’s perceptions
and emotions
 Asking the other to explain
themselves and/or give examples
of what they mean
 Inviting new ideas, helping to flesh
them out
 Encouraging new perspectives
 Respecting the other’s integrity
Success factors
Push
The quality of the
ideas
The credibility and
authority of the
speaker
The ability to make the
right people at your
support your proposals
Pull
The quality of the
questions used to
obtain information and
check understanding
The capacity to put
yourself in your client’s
shoes
The ability to build on
your client’s proposals
• Umm, good morning, I mean good afternoon
ladies and gentlemen, this is Captain Rees and
I think we may be somewhere near London on
hopefully our final approach to London
Heathrow. It is uncertain when we will land
as air traffic control may or may not let us
land, but hopefully I will try and get you down
there sometime soon.
How to increase your ethos, logos,
pathos
You
Ethos
Prepare meetings
Follow-up actions
Calm confident voice
and body language
Message
Logos
Prepare message
Your client
Pathos
Ask many open
questions to find
out your client’s
priorities
Stakeholder Analysis
People: stakeholder analysis
Who are the
key people
involved in
this?
How
influential is
this person?
(H M L)
Decision Maker
Influencer
Their view of
you
Supporter
Neutral
What does
each want
to happen?
Why?
Against
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The Trusted Advisor
A Trusted Advisor (David Maister)
Breadth of business issues
Trusted Advisor
Subject matter
expert
Depth of Personal Relationship
16
The Trust Equation
(Maister)
T=C+R+I
S
Where:
T
C
R
I
S
= Trustworthiness
= Credibility
= Reliability
= Intimacy
= Self orientation
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Trust Realms
(Maister)
Component
Realm
Example
Credibility
Words
I can trust what he
says about……..
Reliability
Actions
I can trust her to…
Intimacy
Emotions
I feel comfortable
discussing this….
Self orientation
Motives
I can trust that he
cares about……..
Individual Failings
(Maister)
Poor marks on
Get characterised by:
Credibility
Windbags
Reliability
Irresponsible
Intimacy
Technicians
Self – orientation
Devious
Four ‘Pull’ Skills
Four Pull Skills of Influencing - Jenny
Rogers
• Create rapport
• Authentic listening
• Ask open questions
• Be assertive
Create Rapport
• Body language – Open posture, tone of voice
gesture, eye contact, how we occupy a space.
• Matching – body language, way you occupy a
space,
Listening…the other side of
communication
Too many people see communication as merely
speaking.
Messages must be received as well as sent.
A good question to ask yourself is, are you really
listening or simply waiting for your turn to talk?
If you are thinking about your reply before the other
person has finished, then you are not listening!
Poor listening habits are:
• Not paying attention
• Not answering concerns, because you haven’t
really heard the client
• Rambling on, changing topics
• Feeling defensive
• Interrupting
• Listening for points of disagreement
Effective listening behaviour
consists of:
• Focusing on the speaker
• Listening for the whole message
• Listening without thinking what you are going
to say next
• Hearing before evaluating
• Addressing concerns with specific answers
• Paraphrasing what was heard
• Watching nonverbal cues
Asking questions
A man is pushing a car to a hotel.
When he gets there the hotel owner
demands a large sum of money.
Why?
Questions
I keep six honest serving men
(They taught me all I knew);
Their names are What and
Why and When
and How and Where and Who.
Rudyard Kipling: "Just so stories"
Questioning Styles
• An OPEN question is one that encourages a
full response
• A CLOSED question is one that can be
answered with a short answer
Assertiveness
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Ask for what you want
Set the request straightforwardly using ‘I’
Use the persons name
Say no
Explain why?
Have an opinion
Influencing Strategies
Attitude
For
Influencing strategy
Coalition
building
Win over/
coalition
building
Neutral
Winning
on board
Leave alone
Take out of play
Against
Distract or fragment
Low
Medium
Influence
High