Distorted Images
of God
http://www.pjteaches.com/GodViews.htm
God of Impossible
Expectations
As children we had a tremendous need for
approval (to be pleased with us) from our
parents. If we couldn’t get their approval we
took in the negative messages about us and
about God. The result is we can’t received
God’s unconditional love or love ourselves
unconditionally.
God of Impossible
Expectations
We may see God as:
-one who is never pleased
-having impossible standards beyond my reach
-anxious to show us how badly we've failed
-approving conditionally
-being a perfectionist Himself
God of Impossible
Expectations
We may see God as:
-performance oriented
(Your job is to make God look good)
-having a measure up motto
-being critical, unpleasable, can't get it right
God of Impossible
Expectations
What past experience(s) might affect your
ability to believe that God has reasonable
expectations of you?
God of Rejection
All distortions are rejecting (directly or
indirectly). If you feel rejected - it's a
distortion - and it will end up being selfrejecting.
The God who is …
•legalistic
•authoritarian
•rigid
•unemotional
•unforgiving
LEGALISM:
•rules were more important than you are
•it is more important to God that you obey
what the rules are than to get your needs
met (stay in an abusive marriage, obey
your parents, etc.)
•you are left with the feeling that needs are
not important
AUTHORITARIAN:
•power was not shared with you or others
•a person got their power by disempowering
you
•people in power controlled most aspects of
your life where the only power individuals in
the system has comes from association with the
power person strong hierarchy (patriarchal)
(man above woman and woman above
children)
AUTHORITARIAN:
•no concept of equality or partnership (God has
all the power and shares it with no one or only
with special others)
•may feel God doesn't want me to be
personally empowered (weak robots)
•God doesn't think you have the ability to
manage your life and wants you to let others
manage it for you
RIGID:
•have to think or believe the way "the family"
"the church“;"the system" believes
•if you don't fit the pattern you change or leave
•there is only one way to interpret information
•people who think or believe differently are
wrong and even dangerous
•thoughts and beliefs are black and while (no
gray)
•no freedom of thoughts and feelings
UNFORGIVING:
•people unforgiving of mistakes
•people who could not forgive themselves
(bitter, resentful)
•nothing you could ever do would right a
wrong
•God won't forgive an offense and has no
compassion
The God who is …
•unpredictable
•untrustworthy
•unreliable
•irresponsible
Growing up in a home in situations where
parents and others were unpredictable, etc.
People make promises they cannot or do
not keep.
Some adults were loving, attentive, kind,
etc. and then at other times hostile, unkind, and
nonattentive.
When these changes take place without
explanation or without clarification, we can
become very confused.
As children we needed the love to be
reliable and predictable. When it wasn't we
experienced confusion and disappointment.
Often we begin to believe we can make things
better if we try harder to please our parents and
eventually we give up. We decide we cannot
count on other people or God, but only on
ourselves.
Extreme conditions (make the situation worse;
more confusing; heightens the problems):
•
advanced stages of addictions to
alcohol or mood altering drugs
•
addiction to rage
•
addiction to religion
•
addiction to gambling
•
chronic mental disorders (depression,
schizophrenia)
•
debilitating handicaps or long term
illness
God is untrustworthy - makes promises and
doesn't keep them
God doesn't want to know that I hurt and I have
problems – just keep the faith
May think God needs to be apologized for or
made excuses for (God isn't coming through)
Confusing - no consistent or clear image of God
May think that God needs our help.
God of Abandonment
Having a sense of belonging is basic and one
of our deepest needs.
"I've never been at home with myself" - no
sense of belonging to our self.
Inferiority and alienation diminishes when we
find a sense of belonging and contributing.
Without a sense of belonging, anxiety results
God of Abandonment
Once we feel abandoned we don't feel a sense
of belonging - we are abandonable something is wrong with me (not the person
that abandoned us).
Where did it come from?
•
experienced intentional abandonment by a
person and then we transferred that to God
•
divorce, death, prolonged hospitalization,
alcoholism (can be more confusing and
difficult to realize because the person did not
intentionally abandon us)
Where did it come from?
•
because the child feels like the center of
the universe and the adult cannot be wrong then
the child assumes I am wrong - I am the reason
they left
What if I feel God might
abandon me?
•I'll try to please and perform so He won't leave
•God's not going to be there when I need Him
most.
•I've got to hold on to God - He's not going to
hold on to me.
•God is forgetful and unable to remember
things that are important to me.
What if I feel God might
abandon me?
•God is fragile and not powerful enough.
•God is seeing me as not good enough to
deserve His constant presence.
God of Abandonment
If our parents abandoned us, we then feel
God did, and the worse thing is that we then
abandoned ourself (self-hate; I am
abandonable).
Compassion is the strongest therapeutic
agent (creative influence).
God of Abandonment
Self-hate is the strongest anti-therapeutic
agent (potential for self destruction). We
engage in self-hate when we hate any aspect of
our selves or have a general feeling of self-hate.
God doesn't abandon me, I abandon
myself.
I need to learn to love and accept me (all
of me).
God of Abandonment
Being helpless or dependent is indirect
self-hate.
I can't control people; I can't control God;
I can control me: stop abandoning myself.
That means I cannot afford ANY self-criticism.
Disinterested, Unconcerned,
Emotionally Distant God
There is no distortion of God that doesn't
abandon.
This distortion is not caused by what was
done to us, but by a lack of.
A sense of being invisible.
A child needs to be seen and noticed by
parents to exist.
Disinterested, Unconcerned,
Emotionally Distant God
Talking, but no one hears; moving, but no
one notices; not there; feeling worthless.
Who mirrored you when you were small?
To gain a perception of being present in
the first three years of life, we need mirroring
(validation; echoing); someone to reflect who I
am - not what I should be. You are becomes I
Disinterested, Unconcerned,
Emotionally Distant God
am. Therapy replaces the you ares that you
heard in childhood with new you ares so you
can become a new I am.
Internalize the good you hear about
yourself.
We need to be admired.
Disinterested, Unconcerned,
Emotionally Distant God
We need to be taken seriously (not silly for
wanting that, believing what I say).
We need to see who we are reflected back
to us.
We need to be accepted for who and what
we are.
Disinterested, Unconcerned,
Emotionally Distant God
Being deprived of adequate time,
attention, and __ we became deficient and are
invisible.
We got the message: "I don't count."
This can be caused by any parent that
emotionally controlled us by distancing to
punish us
Disinterested, Unconcerned,
Emotionally Distant God
We may feel the same invisibility with God.
God may be blind, unnoticing.
God is busy and more concerned about
important matters.
God is asleep and doesn't notice when we are
being abused.
Our picture of God is vague (barely visible).
Punishing, Withholding,
Unfair or Partial God
The God who sees you as sinful and
deserving punishment. Abuses (physically or
sexually) you in the name of love, authority, or
submission.
As children we ask parents every day in
lots of different ways: Do you love me? Some
of us were told blatantly no, but some were told
Punishing, Withholding,
Unfair or Partial God
yes and experienced no. To experience yes we
needed: attention, mirroring (echoing that you
are O.K.), affection, and guidance (not
punishment).
Maybe we heard critical or violent words
that we are not valuable.
Some of us experienced violent actions
Punishing, Withholding,
Unfair or Partial God
(just seeing the violence done to another person
damaging just as if you yourself had been
beaten). No place to hide. Feel terrified and
violated. No safe place. No way to get away.
Any verbal, physical, or sexual abuse can
shatter any image of a gentle, loving God. See
God as easily angered and ready to punish me.
Punishing, Withholding,
Unfair or Partial God
Distortion of sin consciousness - viewing
people as basically evil, bad and deserving of
punishment - may feel God is discriminating
and will withhold things.
Ways God may have come across to
us by the way people treated us:
(1) Find what you value most and take it away
to teach you a lesson and control you.
(2) Withholds pleasure in anything; is always
serious.
(3) Frowns on dancing, theater going,
flirtation, cosmetics, or alcohol.
Ways God may have come across to
us by the way people treated us:
(4) Be quiet, calm down; repressing rather than
encouraging your energy and creativity
(depressing God); don't express yourself.
(5) Punishing kind of person just waiting for
you to make a mistake.
(6) The Monster type God. (from book, The
Road Less Traveled, Peck) Any person who
Ways God may have come across to
us by the way people treated us:
violated you physically or sexually (looked at
you and commented inappropriately about your
body) Door Matt.
(7) Partial to Jews, Gentiles, Men, etc.
May see God as a man
Excluding